#Idk I felt it would be kinda cringe and maybe you all won't like it but whatever I have to keep this account alive somehow

[yurki-posts]

An idea I had for a different Rob desing . .

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

Best friend Chan who is in love with reader but has a girlfriend?

𝐒𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?

Pairing: bestfriend!Chan x reader college au Genre: Angst (i cant write that for shit.), fluff, smut Word Count: 4.5k (lord help me) Warnings: Chan's gf is controlling, gf is a pick me, mentions of cheating (not by chan), mentions of college (younger half of members + chan gf + reader), fade to black sexual moment kinda >.>, nosey ass friends >.>, mentions of ateez members, not proofread, fighting >.> DO NOT DO IT, lowkey (highkey) cringe... UHH Idk what else...

A/N: I have exams soon so >.> i won't be taking requests until like May 😭 uhh I might get out the requests I have but until May I won't be accepting any very sorry >.>

You pursed your lips as your best friend's girlfriend, Chaewol, rubbed herself all over your friend, Chan's, arm.

"Chrissy." She said sweetly. "Can we go now?"

Your other friend, Seungmin stared at her, not even trying to hide the look of disgust on his face.

Minho just blinked slowly.

"Babe, we just got here." Chan sighed.

"I know but the waitress keeps giving me dirty looks." She pouted.

Hyunjin, a man who'd grown to be as close as a brother to you, made a face and leaned in close to you whispering, "Maybe if she hadn't been all over Chan as if the waitress wanted to steal him she wouldn't get dirty looks."

You gave your friend a knowing face.

"It's fine Chan." Seungmin smiled, stirring his drink with his straw, "Just go."

Chan looked at you with an apologetic look.

You shrugged. "We'll just try again some other time."

He smiled. "Alright. See you guys." He stood with Chaewol, who gave you the nastiest look as Chan led her out.

"The waitress wasn't even looking." Seungmin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She's obviously jealous." Hyunjin huffed. "I would be too if my boyfrie-"

Seungmin elbowed him.

You looked between the two confused. "What?"

"Nothing." They both said.

Minho grabbed. a bunch of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table and tried forcing Hyunjin to eat them.

You burst into a fit of laughter as a waiter came over with water to help the spluttering Hyunjin.

Your phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram, you opened it and sucked in a breath at the post. It was of Chan and Chaewol at a bubble tea shop, she was kissing his cheek.

Hyunjin looked at your phone and sighed. "It's fine."

You nodded, "Yeah. Say any of you up for barbecue?"

Seungmin smiled, "Let's go."

It was late now, well past midnight, Chaewol was asleep, and Chan lie awake. He sucked in a breath, rolling onto his side and grabbing his phone, he opened Instagram and squeezed his phone. The picture Chaewol had taken earlier had blown up, "he's so sweet" and "you're so lucky" flooded the comments. He kept scrolling and stopped at a post where you were in a shopping cart and Changbin was pushing you, while Jisung was in a separate cart and Hyunjin struggled to push him. He laughed lightly and paused at a post from 30 minutes ago, that would've been 1am, you were at a table with the other guys. Jeongin was out cold on the table and the rest of them looked drunk stupid except for Minho, probably the driver..

Chan felt his heart clench. When was the last time he'd gone out like that with the rest of you.

He tapped your profile and scrolled through your recent posts, baking with Felix, cooking with Minho, gym day with Han and Changbin, movie night with a friend, a guy, he didn't know..

He stared at the image for a moment before swiping to the next, same guy, laying on his back between your legs, head rested on you stomach, your fingers in his hair, all that was visible, his nose and eyes.

Chan whispered softly, "Who the fuck is that."

Chaewol rolled over, murmuring, "What is it?"

"Nothing." Chan said, "Go back to sleep."

Chan looked through the comments,

Hongjoongisworld 1w Wow, so that's where my snacks went.

HWWAAA 1w Lucky.

former stronk man 1w ;-; why wasn't I invited.

and you tagged Sannie..?

Chan tapped the tag and exhaled slowly at all the pictures of a muscular man with a square jaw and pretty face. So this was Sannie. This was the man doing things he should be, Choi San, who goes to an entirely different school from you.

Chan jumped as suddenly his phone was gone. "Chae-"

"He's hot.." She scrolled through San's profile and hummed. Then her face fell.

Chan leaned over looking at his phone, there you were, phone covering half your face as you took the picture, San behind you, his arm wrapped a little too tight around your waist. Chan took his phone from Chaewol and put it down.

"Go to sleep." He huffed, rolling to face away from her.

Chaewol stared at Chan in the darkness for a long moment before pursing her lips. He's not mad that I called that other guy hot. He's made that Y/N is close to him... And she rolled to face away from Chan, biting her pink nails. What could she do to you?

You were drunk, buzzed, completely inebriated. To the extent Minho had to call someone to pry you off the pole outside of the bar. He'd used your phone and called someone you had labeled as Mr Sannie

Mr Sannie turned out to be someone named Choi San, he was a close friend of yours apparently, and you hugged him poking his face and neck as he half carried, half dragged you to his car.

Minho stared at San for a long time. What is Chan even going to say..

In light of your recent Instagram posts and a long call with Minho, Chan decided to leave Chaewol at home and go hang out with you for the first time in a long while. It was fun, running around being stupid with you. You and Chan were eating ice cream in the park when he asked suddenly.

"Who's San?"

You blinked a bit surprised. "He's a friend of mine."

Chan looked at you before looking back at his ice cream. "Just a friend?"

"Of course." You laughed, it trailed off as you realized he was serious. "Chan, San is just my friend."

Chan looked at you and smiled, "Good."

You didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Good why?

Your phone buzzed and you looked at it, there was a message from Yongbok to the group chat your friend group had.

lixie 3:47pm We're having a party off campus, you senior citizens tryna join in?

He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm I will if Chan will.

OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Why are we senior citizens...

Chubby Cheeks 3:48pm Because you've already graduated.

Hangry 3:48pm But we're not senior.

OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Minho and Chan are.

He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm You haven't eaten tissues in a while have you Hyunjinnie.

Me 3:49pm You're cooked. 💀

Loaf 3:49pm I'll go. Hyunjin hide.

Channie 3:49pm LOLLL

STAAA 3:49pm OMG GRANDPA LEARNED LINGO

lixie 3:50pm 😧 never thought i'd live to see it.

You giggled and looked at Chan who rolled his eyes.

Your phone buzzed again and Chan peeked over your shoulder, tensing at the sight of Sanniepoo..

Mr Sannie 3:50pm There's a party. Go with me?

Chan looked at you, you hadn't clicked the notification, hesitating.

"Are you going to go?" You asked him.

He bit his lip, "I have to ask Chaewol."

You looked down at your phone and tapped Mr Sannie's chat, typing something. "It's fine." You looked at your phone again and stood, "I have to go meet up with a friend."

Chan opened his mouth to say something, that friend was San, this guy he didn't know, who his own girlfriend thought was hot. You were going to meet up with this guy...

"Bye, Channie." You said before he could get any words out.

And you were gone.

You were sitting in class biting your pen and trying to study in art history before the teacher arrived, when you heard the steps then the whispers. You didn't bother looking up until a pink purse was thrown on your textbook.

You knew that purse, you'd helped Chan pick out that purse for...

"You really think you're funny." Chaewol said. Her group of girls dressed as if this were still high school looked at you with disgusted looks.

You looked up at her. "Am I laughing?"

The chatter in the class died.

"Leave my boyfriend alone." She said.

You raised a brow. "You think I'm messing with Chan?"

"Chris. Doesn't want you."

You stood, "What makes you think I want Chan?"

"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"

The class gasped.

"I've done a lot of stupid shit, but trying to get a guy's attention is not on that list yet." You said glaring at her.

"You're such a liar!" One of her friends said. "We've seen the pics of you with the guys from KQ Uni."

Chaewol got in your face. "Listen here, Y/N, if you don't leave Chan alone, it's going to be and you."

You sucked in a breath, "Back up."

"If I don't?" She asked.

"How old are you, Chaewol?" You asked irritated.

Chaewol smirked and turned, letting her hair extensions hit you as she grabbed her purse.

You pursed your lips.

You hadn't expected to be greeted by San's car outside of school as you left.

He gave you the corniest smirk as you got in, "I have a surprise for you."

You tilted your head, "What is it?"

He held a out a small box covered in blue velvet and you took it, opening the box you smiled at the sight of a plain black ring band. engraved in silver on the inside was "Dumass #1"

You burst out laughing and put the ring on as San held up his right hand, showing his matching band. You two took several pictures before San started driving.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"You know me so well," you smiled.

You took several more stupid pictures and a few pictures of your food, you were going to post the images but then you remembered what Chaewol had said.

"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"

You shook your head and pressed post.

"We should go meet the guys, they're out and about today." San hummed.

You nodded, "Okay."

You were laying in bed scrolling when Chan called you, you stared at your phone for a moment before answering. "Helloooo?"

"Uh.."

You heard the shakiness in his voice as he spoke.

"Can you come over? I- Chaewol and I aren't talking." He said sniffing.

"Chan what happened?" You sat up in bed, it wasn't the first time something like this happened...

You were at his house in 20 minutes, staring at your friend as he sniffled and allowed you before hugging you. You patted his back and made him sit as he cried about Chaewol cheating on him... again.

"Am I doing something wrong?" He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"Of course not Channie." You smoothed his hair and smiled at him gently. "She's the problem."

He muttered something about not being good at anything and lied down on the couch, resting his head on your lap.

You spent most of the night comforting Chan and relaxed when you got him to go to sleep. You stared at your friend's sleeping face, so content and calm as if in his dreams he'd forget about everything. You smiled slightly and leaned back against the couch falling asleep yourself, sure this would be the last time, positive...

When you woke up Chan wasn't laying on your lap and you assumed he'd gotten up to go do something but as you were about to stand you heard the voices by the door...

"Chris, you know it didn't mean anything. I love you babe." Chaewol sobbed.

"Please don't..." You heard Chan sigh.

"Chan!" She sobbed louder, and you heard her fall to the floor, "Babe it won't happen again! I swear! I love you, please!"

He wouldn't... right?

"Chaewol stand up."

"Not until you forgive me." She sniffed.

You exhaled slowly as Chan told her, "Come back later."

"Chrissy please-"

"I'm serious."

"Fine."

You heard the door close then Chan was back in the living room staring at you.

"Y/N-"

"It's fine. Just enjoy yourself." You pursed your lips and rolled your eyes, before leaving him standing there.

Chan's mouth was half open he was going to say something, he willed the words out. But a small, "Thanks for coming over." Left his lips instead and was met with the door slamming.

Chan kissed Chaewol and muttered, "You did so good for me."

Chaewol lay there on the bed trying to catch her breath, after cleaning up, Chan got into bed and Chaewol was already out cold. He rubbed her head gently, then he got a text from Changbin.

Baby Changbin 7:59pm Did you see what Y/N posted?

Chan opened instagram, there was a bunch of posts with you and a bunch of guys he didn't know, there was more with that Choi San... and he scrolled to this afternoon, food, you two being stupid, then.. a picture of your hand and someone else's, someone Chan could assume was San, wearing matching rings.

Chan bit his lip and looked at his jewelry drawer. He'd stopped wearing the necklace that matched yours because Chaewol thought it was "intrusive" and "a physical show of emotional cheating".

That left one thing...

"Baby." Chan shook Chaewol gently.

"Huh?" She groaned.

"There's a party tomorrow," He muttered.

"I know." She opened her eyes a little.

"Can we go?"

"Yeah whatever, let me sleep..."

Chan lie back and stared at the pictures of you and San.

He opened his chat with Changbin.

Me 8:02pm He goes to KQ Uni?

Baby Changbin 8:02pm They all do

Me 8:03pm We're going to that party.

The day of the party Chan pulled up in front of the old college he once attended, where you and Chaewol currently went. He had come on Chaewol's request, so he could take her to buy a new outfit for the party.

He saw you and Jisung and was about to get out of his car to go talk to you but another car pulled up. Chan froze as he got out of the driver's seat and hugged you then began counting on his fingers while making an exaggerated face. Jisung cackled. You rolled your eyes and pushed San's head, he faked a hurt expression and opened the front passenger side door for you.

Chan squeezed the wheel and this time got out of the his car, he would've approached but the sound of a squeal made him look away from you, Chaewol and her friends came over and she threw herself on him.

She looked in your direction, then made a face, "That's the guy from KQ Uni isn't it?"

Chan didn't answer, eyes glued on the way you and San went back and forth before you finally got into the car and Jisung got in the back seat.

Chaewol shook him slightly. "Chris?"

Chan's eyes met San's as he closed the door. All the man did was smile before getting into his car and driving away taking you with him.

Chaewol squeezed Chan's arm. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all." Chan lied, "Let's go, hm? Gotta make you look even more beautiful."

Chan pulled up to the party with Chaewol and her friends. He got out and opened the door for Chaewol, who quickly scampered to join her other friends. Chan shook his head and started looking around for his friends, then he saw Minho, there was a group of guys with him, Chan could only recognize San.

He approached and San smiled at him, Minho patted Chan on the shoulder and introduced him to the rest of the men. "This is my good friend Chan. Channie, this is San, Seonghwa and Yunho."

Chan nodded and smiled, "Have you seen Y/n?"

"Oh, she ran off with Seungmin somewhere." Minho said. "Probably to get drinks."

"Oh, okay."

San raised a brow at Chan, "You know Y/N?"

"She's my friend from high school." Chan said.

Seonghwa looked between the two sensing the tension and laughed nervously, "I'm going to go.. get us some drinks? Yunho come with me." Seonghwa grabbed Yunho and dragged him away.

MInho stared at the two in shock, "Hey, hey, hey. It's a party, don't look so aggressive.."

San nodded, "Of course."

A moment later, you and Seungmin came bouncing back giggling like little children. Seungmin grabbed Minho, "Hyunjin wants to dance with you." And he dragged him away.

Chan smiled at you. You gave him a hug and poked his nose, "Didn't think you'd make it."

"I'm here." Chan shrugged.

San's mouth fell open dramatically and he made a face at you. "Am I invisible???"

You gave him a side eye. "I saw you earlier."

San clutched his chest, "So cruel..." he faked tears then the two of you started laughing.

Chan felt a tug on his arm, he looked at Chaewol.

"Oh," She looked at you and San.

San looked past you at Chaewol and you turned, pursing your lips ina. tight smile.

"Hi," Chaewol smiled at you and then looked at San, "I'm Chaewol."

"San," He nodded before looking right at Chan as if asking with his eyes So you have a girlfriend... San smiled at you and grabbed you, "Y/N we should dance."

Chan was about to say something but Chaewol pulled him away, "Babe we should go get some drinks."

Chan wanted to pull away he wanted to say no but then.

"Christopher."

He looked at Chaewol and smiled, "Ok."

As the party neared its end, Chan didn't know where Chaewol was, but he was too drunk to wonder. Minho had found him half passed out on the couch and helped him up. Minho helped Chan walk and eventually found you, talking to San's friend Seonghwa.

"He's too buzzed yo drive and Chaewol is no where to be seen." Minho said before carefully passing Chan's weight to you.

You stumbled slightly and somehow managed to support him. Seonghwa helped you before you fell over, you carried Chan to Seonghwa's car and tossed him in the back seat.

Seonghwa drove you to Chan's house and parked before asking, "Are you okay to carry him in alone?"

"Of course, I've got him." You laughed, and woke up a half asleep Chan in the backseat before helping him walk to his front door and convincing him after a bit of bickering to open the door. he trudged into the house and flopped face first onto the couch.

You laughed and he looked at you.

"Are you going?" he asked quietly.

You stopped laughing and nodded.

"Why...?"

"Because I have to go home, Chaewol wouldn't like seeing me here." You said.

Chan sat up and looked at you, "Please don't go."

You stared at him, "Chan-"

Before you could protest he hugged your waist and buried his face in your belly. "Please.

You stood between staring down into his eyes as he looked up at you. "I can't... Chaewol might get angry."

Chan's grip on your relaxed for a brief second. Then it tightened again and he whispered, "I don't care... Please... Stay. I need you to stay."

"You're drunk." You shook your head and started pry yourself away from Chan but he held you tighter.

"Would you be mad at me if I told you I liked you?" He muttered.

"No." You said quietly. "I'd ask you why."

"And if I said I love you?"

You stared at Chan. "You're not thinking straight." You started to pull away but he squeezed you for a moment.

"I don't need to think." He stood up and smiled gently at you, "It feels better if I'm with you." He hugged you completely against him and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Chan I-"

"Don't push me away right now... I might cry if you do." He breathed.

You held him as his body relaxed against yours. And the door opened.

You weren't sure what happened between the door opening and where you were now. What you did know was that you were going to beat the crap out of the person pulling your hair.

Chaewol pulled your hair and screamed at you as her friend tried pulling her back. It was a mess of punches and scratches and hair-pulling. "Boyfriend stealing, home-wrecking BITCH!" Chaewol screamed as she pulled your hair.

"You're the one who can't keep your legs closed!" You shouted, swinging at her.

"Don't come back here! Keep your hands off Chris!" She shouted as Chan pulled you off her and she kicked at you still gripping your hair.

You grasped on her hair as well and pulled out her hair extensions. "You fucked your relationship over yourself! You cheater! You ugly, ungrateful- OOOH!" You threw her extensions in her face as Chan picked you up around the waist and carried you out the door.

"Christopher! Get back here! Bring her back right now!" Chaewol shouted as her friend tried calming her down.

You were trying to get away from Chan as he dumped you on the ground and held you so you wouldn't run back to keep fighting.

"Chan are you even living?!" You shouted. "Howw do you let her treat you like that! It's your house, your money, your LIFE!" You pulled away from him and started walking away.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you back hugging you tightly. "Please." he muttered. "I love you."

You stared blankly for a moment. "Huh?"

"I need you." He pulled back and looked at you.

"You're probably just in shock and drunk."

He shook his head slowly, "I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting and screaming and everything.." He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. "Please."

And you didn't stop him as he kissed you.

Chaewol was faking tears the following monday in class and everyone was running to her to console her. Except you.

"Chaewol don't cry." Someone said rubbing her shoulder. "What happened?"

"I went home after the p-party. And Ch-Chan and Y/N were all over each other," She sobbed.

The whole class shot you dirty looks, you kept about your business staring at your text book.

"A-And then..." She snuffed. "We had a fight and Chan carried her out." She sobbed dramatically.

You made no move of any kind when some girls came up to you asking if it was true.

"IT GETS WORSE!" Chaewol shrieked. "THAT HOMEWRECKER KISSED HIM OUTSIDE TOO!"

You closed your textbook and got up from your seat, going to leave. As you stepped out of the building Chaewol's friends flocked behind you.

What you hadn't anticipated to see outside was Chan, he leaned against his car looking at his phone. Looking up at the sight of you and the other girls.

"Where's Chaewol?" he asked.

"She's inside crying over your sorry ass." One of her friends spat.

Chan opened his car and pulled out three pink suitcases and set it on the side walk. "Tell her to come get her stuff. If I missed anything she can come get it herself."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Chaewol's voice came from the front entrance and you turned to see her running out and down the steps where she grabbed Chan. "Chris! Chrissy! Baby! Honey!"

Chan pulled his hand away from hers.

"WHY?!" She screamed, other students were looking through class windows or from where they were walking.

"I'm tired. I'm so tired." Chan said simply and grabbed your hand.

You gasped as he put you in the car. "Chan-" You started as Chaewol tried to open your door.

"Let them try." He said locking the doors and looking at you. "I want to talk to you."

When you were a sophmore in high school and Chan was a senior, you became fast friends. Not that Chan wanted to be your friend, really, he had been hoping to get your number and possible convince you to date him. But he'd failed miserably as Minho told him countless times before.

You'd have been lying if you had said you weren't into him, he was sweet and funny and gorgeous. But when he went to JYPU, he met a girl from another school, she was sweet at first, but when they started dating things didn't work out well. At least for Chan. The first time he'd called you crying saying that he and Chaewol had fought you thought it was normal. But the more it happened, the less normal it seemed to you...

And then he didn't speak to you for months on end... because Chaewol said he couldn't.... Becuase Chaewol didn't trust you.

And when she'd cheated and you suggested breaking up, it wasn't even a day before he'd forgiven her. And you couldn't help but wonder why. Why you were in this car staring at your hands? Why you let him drag you out? Why you let him kiss you?

Chan whispered quietly. "I talked to San."

You looked at him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not you fau-"

"It is." He rested his head on the steering wheel. "I let Chaewol take over my life, and every time she lied and betrayed and and promised it wouldn't happen again it did... and I let it happen." he sat up and turned to you. "I'm sorry."

You sucked in my breath. "You shouldn't apologize. You couldn't have known better.."

"But I did know better." He looked at you. "I've known better- No, I knew you were better. I just.. I was scared you didn't want me back. Let me tell you when I'm sober. While you'll listen.."

"Channie." You stared at him.

He leaned in. "Can I.." he said quietly.

You nodded slowly and Chan leaned into you, his soft breath against your lips before he kissed you gently. He pulled away and whispered. "I love you."

You looked into his eyes. "I love you too..."

Your phone buzzed in your bag for god knows what time. Chan's lips were on your neck, you whined as he sucked a dark mark to the skin.

You moaned as he rutted against you. Rubbing his tented crotch against your clothed pussy. He pressed his thumb to your lip, "Suck." He muttered.

You opened your mouth and sucked on his thumb obediently. He groaned and pulled your shirt over your head. Chan kissed down your chest and removed your bra before moving lower and pulling off your pants. He kissed your thighs and smiled at the wet spot on your pantie. "This for me?"

He pulled your pantie off and licked a big strip of your pussy and moaned into you. You grabbed his hair.

"This is mine. You hear?" He looked up at you, coffee colored eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "This pussy is mine."

You whimpered and nodded.

"Good girl." He whispered before shoving his tongue into you.

You squealed.

"And the rest was..." You smiled to yourself blushing deeply.

"So then what?" Seonghwa asked as he sipped his coffee.

"You horny little-." San slapped him.

You rolled your eyes and smiled as your phone buzzed with a message from Chan.

Channie🥰 2:14pm I wanna take you out, text me when you get home.

Tags

@juskz

[elizaditton]

TSTBA And Life Update

Hey everyone, I thought I'd give an update on what's going on with me and on my progress with Too Small To Be Afraid. TL;DR at the bottom for those who just want the quick deets.

I've been struggling to work on the story since the start of the summer, mainly because I got a "real" job (as part of the IT department at a local high school). Despite the fact that it's only 17.5 hours a week (3.5 hours every weekday), it was a lot more than what I was used to (which was literally doing nothing except for volunteering at various places maybe one to three times a week), and it took me a really, really long time to adjust to that mentally. I would come home dead tired and just... not feel like writing. Or doing anything at all. Sometimes I'd come home at 3:00 pm and proceed to take The World's Longest Nap™ only to wake up when it was time to go to bed anyway. Part of this, I realize, is probably the result of an undiagnosed sleeping disorder of some kind (my psychiatrist says maybe sleep apnea) mixed with ADHD telling my brain to Not Work™. But yeah, this has been a major contributing factor in my lack of writing time recently. And on top of that, I got another job working for my church on Sundays as a Production Assistant, which has so far been awesome, but it means I'm also exhausted on weekends. Not only am I working 7 hours on Sunday (setup + rehearsal + service + do all that again for the second service), but I'm also waking up at 4:30 am now at the very latest on Sundays depending on what campus I'm working at. And on top of all that, I'm still working occasionally for my old boss one Saturday out of every month until he wants me to start coming in more frequently. So all in all, I'm pretty much working every day but Saturday, except for when I'm also working on Saturday. And I do enjoy working all of these jobs, it's just that I've been struggling to adjust to working so much and how to balance that with my hobbies and my home and family life. So there's been little time for writing these past few months.

The writing club I was a part of also lowkey disbanded as we haven't been meeting for several months. (Hi if any of you are reading this, I miss you guys lol.) Before we stopped meeting, I was pumping out a new chapter at least every two weeks, and it was amazing! I was part of a group that encouraged each other to write and on top of that even edited/critiqued each other's writing. I really do miss it. The group always got me so motivated to write during the week and to write during our meetings, and I haven't felt that same joy about writing since we stopped meeting. I'm thinking I'll start another writing group, either online or at my church. Leaning towards at my church since I need in-person contact with people, but idk hit me up if you're interested in an online writer's group??? Or being a beta reader???

Lastly, something that's actually related to the story itself. The plot. Hoooooooo boy the plot. The plot is... a thing that exists. There's things I want to tie into the story that I want to be a big deal, but I'm not sure if I introduced enough elements beforehand for things to make sense if I go the route I want? Then there's the fact that I look back at the first few chapters and sort of cringe, thinking of all the things I'd change if I would let myself have at it before the first draft is done. But yeah. Things are... going. I've been very, VERY slowly but surely working on fixing up things in my outline so I know where I'm going, but yeah, all the aforementioned has kinda made it hard to actually write.

So that's where I've been. So where do we go from here?

For one thing, I'm at least somewhat confident that chapter 18 WILL come out in the next few weeks, before the end of the month. It's going to be a long one, and I hope it's worth the wait.

I previously had a goal of finishing my first draft by the end of the year, but if I'm honest, I'm thinking I won't get there until at least the spring of 2025. And then, of course, after that comes editing, revising, rewriting, and so on. I'll likely be writing at least a second draft before I even think about printing.

But can you expect me to update more regularly from now on? To be honest, I have no idea. All I know is that this book is still my dream, and I haven't given up on it yet. As long as this fire continues to burn within me, I'm going to continue to write. As long as it takes. Until it's done. But maybe starting another writing club would help hold me accountable for regular updates, ha ha.

Thank you all for your unwavering support as I've gone through this journey. Whenever I see someone's been enjoying this story, it fills me with so much joy, you don't understand. I hold every little comment close to my heart.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you soon with an update to the story!

TL;DR: I suddenly acquired three jobs and am very tired all the time. This combined with no accountability after my writing club lowkey disbanded has made writing difficult. I'm still writing, slowly but surely. Expect a new (and long) chapter this month for sure. Hmu if interested in starting a writing club/being a beta reader btw

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and well, we knew this week would be grim but I wasn't expecting last night's truly spectacular level of stupid. KR really is going the full RNM with "you know what this character needs? to regress!! for the drama...". It seems her true talent lies in finding new and increasingly annoying ways to employ guest actors. Also who wrote this lady's dialogue, how did they not cringe when they edited it? Anywho, tonight's LS isn't looking much better since its combining two of my most loathed Owen storylines, his LI and distinctly-not-firefighting-related detective work. Yay. At least Paul will get some screen time out of it. We're not even at the wishing luck on episodes stage anymore, its just pure "let's hope we don't do permanently damage to our liver getting through this". Anyway cheers bestie, here's to all the amazing fic writers (yourself included!) who manage to find ways to fix this shit into something sensible 🍷🍷🍷.

Bestie that was some of the biggest cringe-fail interactions I've seen in a looooong time. (Oliver, blink twice if you're bombing your chemistry with these potential love interests on purpose, we won't tell anyone, promise!) And even besides the lack of chemistry nothing about this character worked. Oh, we need a character who helps the elderly and dying find peace? Maybe you shouldn't have a bright-eyed bushy-tailed youngster who acts like she's never met someone who has been clinically dead before? Maybe have someone with an ounce of empathy who doesn't treat someone's death experience like a sideshow when they're clearly uncomfortable and barely able to get the words out? IDK that whole conversation was so icky to me. And I *might* could go with it as intentional if it wasn't for the cemetery scene and kr banging on about Buck continuing this pursuit for the next several episodes. I have always loved Buck even in his awkward moments because he always felt genuine and earnest, but that cemetery scene felt like someone shoving words into his mouth to push the idea of this new relationship, and completely disregarding Buck as a character and his other relationships in the process. Another instance of kr twisting characters around to fit a plot idea instead of allowing the characters to drive the plot and actually move forward. At least Madney are still cute and funny even if their storyline is kinda trash too. And don't get me started on the stuff with Shannon. At least we have the sperm donor mess, L return, and a possible tay kay jumpscare to look forward to! 🙄🙄🙄

As for LS, I'm just ready to mindlessly stare at the tv for an hour, have a chuckle or two, and then erase every pointless bit of Owen from my brain.

Cheers my friend, we are gonna need it! Also, I maaaaay be working on a fic. An AU not fix-it, but I'm pretty excited about the idea (SaL based, of course) and some of the things I've come up with for it (suuuuper stoked personally for how I worked the chapter titles because I think I'm clever), so hopefully I can work on that and get something to tease soon!

[desushiii]

Flirting isn't for me

I tried flirting, YES I know it's not a big thing for you but IT IS FOR ME. I am 21 years old now and I admit that I am starting to think that indeed I am antiromantic btch. so here's the story. I am yes a GHORL. I would say I do only crushes in the past years of my life and yes NBSB (No boyfriend since birth) kinda vibes.

The whole fiasco of this pandemic I was living in my small comfortable room and doing online classes and plates and shit, and countless of crying over a spilled coffee blablabla. August came and that is the official face-to-face classes of the year whatever fastforward. 1st term starts and the first major subj was this and that and my friends and I had been simping over this dude (as a joke) cus yes he cute or whatevah and after a weeks or two idk after party happen in our department and ddl are near but we don't care cuz we need to boost ourselves and party. that time at the party coincidentally this dude we're simping now my "crush", Yes I'm sorry I get really attached to people when I find them ok and start fantasizing and the feeling follows. Anyways i don't want to go on the details of what rlly happen at the party but it was fun ANYWAY. My fcollege friends presssured me to chat him in messenger just to ask him whats the name of the guy they introduced to us last night. AND SO THIS FOLLOWS ME trying to flirt text him giving him cheesy lines the obv. not my doing.. MY FRIEND is the one who keeps tally on what I should reply and what i shouldn't do and all that time I was ofc having butterflies but at the same time disgust or whatever OVERALL it was all uncomfortable for me to do because maybe I am not used to talking to guys malice of just being more than friends, OKAY? I am not used to this, so every possible cringe scenario you could think of was not me, I say it was Sharon, the hoe, the alter ego of mine doing all that crazyy stuff.

It was as if I was the guy and he was the girl I was trying to pursue, i felt weird and my pride went oop- so yuh drunk text came and the tipsy was me. I chatted him on msgr and say these very stupid line (trns. eng) "is it okay if I like you and you like me too" and my world started to crumble since then, but he just replied to me "are u drunk?" and so i said no any way he redirected the topic to something else so I was disappointed, and the more I try to cultivate some info abt him the more I realize I don't like him, and we're not a match and we won't click ever. so I stopped. OFC I was sad at the moment because heres the plot twist.

BBtch he like my other friend in shs and now in college likeeeee dude. I was maaaaaaaad like why did he not tell me that he liked someone else whilst I was talking to him nonstop atm. Gurlllll that was the flag I've been looking like I tot he's not some other dude who do shit but HE'S THE DUDE THAT DOES SHIT. WTF. and so I stop, I ranted to my friends and so they did and the end. BTCH u tot that was it??

so here another story.

My other friend saw this flower lying around on the table at school which is a flower that u specifically serve on a death table, you know that white one.

I was typically the crazy hoe who would suggest "oooh let's give this to a random guy and act as if we're flirting" teehee. atm we both didn't wear our glasses on so we can't see shit nor read shit and heres another plot twist, HE WAS THE GUY who received the fuking flowers and i just wanna say i wanna get hit by a bus and truck, a car, a bike anything JUST LET ME GO BYE BYE. That was the most embarrassing thing I've ever did because I ghosted him! and I kno he didn't care that I stop talking to him and then here it is.

The other plot twist! He drunk text me, he apologize for getting my flowers when he is the one who fuckkin get it out of my hands when in fact his bff should be the one to receive it. So anyway I told him the truth abt the flower thing and it's like a reverse uno has been played and I was the one who wasn't interested talking to him blablabla that was the end haha

And this is when I realized flirting isn't for me.

[narcissisticmf]

training | peter pevensie x fem!reader

description: y/n attempts to learn how to sword fight.

trigger warnings: subtle seductive behavior, violence, sword fighting, foul language, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: 1.1k

It was heavy. The cold metal handle between your petite fingers weighed down your entire arm. Pins and needles were felt beneath the surface of your skin as you made an attempt to lift the blade, keeping it upright before the leather sack of sand in front of you. It hung low from a tree branch out in the field. You hung it there that morning, rather early due to having no desire in being seen by the other Narnians.

Letting out a grunt, you took all your strength in lifting the sword and swung it towards the leather sand bag. Unfortunately, your upper body muscle wasn't strong enough so you stumbled to the side, where your sword's blade swung.

"Why's this shit so heavy?" You grumbled and made an attempt to lift the metal sword again, only having it weigh your shoulders down. You took in a deep breath through your flared nostrils and lifted the sword, blade up with your two hands wrapped around the end of it.

"Focus, Y/N.." You whispered to yourself and gazed at the leather sack, noticing how it stood still even without the wind being able to move it. You took the opportunity to move the swords blade back over your shoulder. Perhaps you hadn't spread your feet wide enough apart the first time, so you stood your ground as steadily as you could before swinging the blade across the leather sack. Your legs stumbled forth after your swing, the sword's tip kissed the ground.

Your warm eyes gazed at the leather sack and noticed a subtle dent was made. You groaned in defeat and stood straight, fixing your posture. With the sword's blade facing the ground, you held it's handle and continued to stare at the leather sack, wondering if it was you or the bag that was the problem.

The dry grass crunched behind you. Your heart sunk into your stomach as you quickly turned around, keeping the sword behind you and out of sight of whomever was heading forth. You were already embarrassed enough about being unable to sword fight and someone watching you practice would make you feel even more pathetic.

"They said you'd be out here," Spoke the voice of Narnia's High King, Peter. You released a nervous breath, your stomach tied in endless knots. You kept the sword behind your back, hidden from Peter's view.

He walked towards you, noticing how nervous you looked. You did your best to remain at ease when his eyes diverted to the leather sack hung from the tree branch.

"Who's they?" You got the courage to ask.

"Susan and Lucy, they said you had something important to do," He stopped walking any further and stood before you, his deep blue eyes gazed into yours. "Might I ask, what was so important that you had to miss lunch?" His voice was soft and it made you release a calm breath, one you didn't realize you'd been holding back in your throat.

"Uh.." You parted your lips softly, "It's nothing, really."

Peter's expression remained the same, but more so this time that he didn't believe a word that came out of your plump lips. "Y/N," Peter stated in an I-know-you're-not-telling-me-the-truth tone. "What's the leather sack for?" He gaze bounced from you to the bag, then back to you.

"I was.. punching it?" You cringed your teeth softly as Peter pressed his lips together. His eyes flickered downwards, noticing your arms were folded behind your back.

"What's that you're holding behind you?" He looked back up to you.

"It's just my hands, I've got nothing behind me," You shook your head and begun to back up further when Peter stepped forth, coming closer ever time you stepped back.

"Then let me see your hands, Y/N," Peter mentioned with a soft smirk.

"No!" You recoiled when you realized you rose your voice, "I mean, they have bruises from the.. leather, yeah. Sorry for yelling, my king."

"How many times have I told you to call me Peter?" He cocked a brow, a small grin appearing upon his lips.

"Maybe a thousand, probably more," You released a soft laugh.

"Now tell me the truth, what were you doing out here that was so important, you had to skip out on lunch?" Peter asked, as you were now back up against the tree's trunk.

You let out a soft sigh and dropped the sword to your side, turning your cheek away from Peter's reaction when it fell against the grass. Your face was flushed with embarrassment, you felt so small especially against the tree with Peter so dangerously close to you. You could hear the pitter-patter of his heartbeat even.

Peter leaned down to retrieve the sword and held it up. He gazed at the blade and then turned to look at you, seeing as you were more nervous than he could comprehend. He smiled softly and gently tossed the sword down. Taking is right hand, he reached up to turn your chin so that you'd make eye contact with him. That alone flooded your stomach with butterflies.

"That sword is too big for you and why didn't you tell me you wanted some training, love?" The petname made you shutter as you stared at him, it was as if he was getting closer and closer but the space between you had already ceased.

"It's embarrassing, Peter," You released a soft whine.

You were cut off from your whine when Peter pressed his forehead to you own. "I find it wonderful that you want to learn how to fight properly with a sword. I'll have one made especially for you, but you have to promise me that you won't go sneaking off to try and practice alone because you're embarrassed, okay?" He looked through his brow to stare at you comfortingly.

"I promise," You nodded gently, feeling the butterflies within your stomach flap their wings faster the closer Peter got. His breath fanned against your own as you leaned your head back against the tree trunk to comfortably look up to him.

"Good," He smiled softly and pulled his head back, still standing close enough to you. "Now, you're probably hungry.." He stepped back and held out his arm for you, "Lunch, my lady?"

You couldn't fight your growing smile as you locked your arm with his as he begun to lead you back to the tent where food was served.

.

a/n: hello beautiful people! so this is my first narnia x reader blurb and i hope you guys liked it! i'm just testing this kind of stuff out, i'm not sure if it'll be a regular thing i'll do but i kinda liked writing it but idk!! 🥺 you guys tell me what you think and if you want more of this stuff! thank you for reading and please be safe! treat people with kindness. — angelina.

[minbobs]

Bad Guy

SUMMARY — you were the best recruit they had on the team, and they decided you were finally ready for your first job as an official officer, but your heart was bigger than your brain and ruined it all for you.

TYPE — criminal / officer au

PAIRING — lee jeno x reader

WARNINGS — jeno being an annoying little shit , robbery , idk bad shit , kinda sexual tbh

WORD COUNT — 4k

A/N — i apologise if there’s any mistakes, i haven’t read over and will probably forget to later.

you'd been training for this day for almost three years now, and you felt as if you were ready for it. you'd spent majority of your time learning the different procedures and techniques of law enforcement, what it meant to have leadership and how to show it, the defensive tactics you needed and many other things that took time and practice to completely understand and perfect. the amount of time you'd spent at the academy led to you slowly losing friends, only leaving mina, the other girl at the academy. however, the loss of friends didn't affect you, in a bad way at least. it motivated you to carry on, because it didn't matter about others, it was for you and you only.

when talking to other recruits, taeyong always used you as the prime example of what the perfect student at the academy should act like and look like; it may have caused people to somewhat dislike you for being so 'perfect', but if taeyong liked you then they also had to like you, because they'd get a lecture on how it's bad to despise your peers.

it was a wednesday morning, around eight thirty am when you'd received a phone call from the academy. you weren't supposed to be there that day, so you were still fast asleep in your warm, comfortable bed — the one thing that could possibly stop you from wanting to leave the house for training.

when the ringing started, you opened your eyes and sat up, stretching as far as possible to stretch every muscle to the point where it was satisfying. eyeing up the phone, you wondered if you should even pick it up, when you could really just lie down and go back to sleep, because you were asleep and it was a perfect excuse.

despite that thought, you yawned and grabbed the phone.

"hello?" you spoke sleepily, putting your head back down on your fluffy pillow, resting your eyes. you were so uninterested in the phone call already, that you almost fell asleep until you heard the voice on the other side.

"hello? this is y/n l/n isn't it?" the voice of taeyong asked, and you quickly rose from your bed and was immediately wide awake.

"uh, yes it is!" you spoke almost too enthusiastically, making you cringe. that'd definitely be on your mind later.

"i just called to say that we'd like you to come down the the station at around twelve pm. we have some important news to speak to you about, we hope to see you there." before you could get any words out, the call ended abruptly.

was it good news? was it bad news? the possibility could go from you getting your first mission on the team to getting kicked out. not to be too vain, but you could see it leaning more towards your first mission.

you had time, but you were way too excited to go back to sleep. finally, you left your bed with a small groan because you really didn't want to leave it, but there was really no point of you being in it so you should do something productive.

that's if you call mixing different cereals together in a bowl and eating it while watching the umbrella academy for the second time productive.

eventually, it reached eleven am, meaning you should probably get moving. so at that, you got up finally and changed into the uniform the academy had given you and grabbed your keys from the side. you'd only just gotten your drivers license, so you were still wary about driving. you didn’t actually want a car when you could just get mina to drive you places because she’s always free, but it was part of the job.

"we've decided that you're ready for your first job. we've been tracking down a group of young boys that have been going around to different stores and stealing a different assortment of items. they've even been caught on cctv threatening the store owners for the money in the tills. we have an idea about where abouts they are, and we need your help to find them." taeyong took a seat in his chair, and yours eyes widened from what he said.

"are you sure? what if i completely mess it up and don't find anything?" you asked and he gave a small smile.

"don't worry, this isn't like school y/n. you won't get in trouble for it. as your first job it'll make it much easier for jaehyun and i to give you pointers on what to do next time." you nodded, you felt less nervous from that. "but as officers, you get jobs whatever time, whenever. so unfortunately for you, you don't have enough time to prepare. the job is starting right now." he spoke and you almost felt like shouting at him — the nerves had one hundred percent come back.

all you did was say 'ok', before standing up to walk out of the door, going to one of the meeting rooms. before you had a chance to leave, taeyong spoke up.

"just, don't worry ok? we don't know if it's their actually hide out, so please don't feel upset with yourself if you don't find anything.

now you were in a car, of which mina was driving. she was basically your designated driver, you really didn't trust anyone else to drive you places; not even yourself yet.

"i don't understand why you're so nervous, taeyong told you not to worry and it's your first time doing something like this. if it makes you feel any better, i overheard taeyong and jaehyun and they said not even yuta could catch them. apparently they're really smart kids, i think they're around your age too." mina spoke, and you gave a sigh. yuta was the best at his job, and the idea of him not being able to catch a bunch of sixteen to twenty year olds.

when you arrived on the 'site', jaehyun, taeyong, yuta and a few others were already there.

"ah y/n! we're going to send you off with jaehyun down that way. you'll go down the right side of the building and he'll go down the left side. if you need help, use this." taeyong passed you a walkie, then walked off only leaving you with jaehyun and mina.

"remember what i said, you'll do good y/n i promise." mina whispered in your ear before walking off back to her car. being reassured by mina was nice and something you needed. all through your life since you've known her she's always reassured you and it's brought you to be who you are today; strongly disliked by most people, but it didn't hurt you in any way.

"come on, let's go." jaehyun said and you followed him to the building. it was quite small, not as big as all the others ones in the abandoned place. it was all wrecked, parts of the walls had collapsed and it seemed really unstable and unsafe to go inside — it was probably why they were only letting you go around the outside. "if you need anything, use the walkie. it's connected to mine and taeyong's." jaehyun walked off to his side of the building, leaving you by your used and with a fast beating heart.

you had completely forgotten these were actually criminals, these people had actually committed crimes and you'd only just remembered that. you'd left your thoughts finally, and had a feeling you had eyes on you, you thought that maybe jaehyun was still here secretly, but when you looked the person standing around the corner definitely wasn't jaehyun. when they noticed you saw them, they quickly went back around the corner.

you breathed in deeply and closed your eyes, replaying everything you'd learnt in your head, every single piece of information you remembered, you felt ready. so you walked with a hand on your gun in your pocket just in case. the closer you got to the corner, you were starting to think about backing out, and just saying you didn't find anything. but you knew that was wrong, and you couldn't do it.

as you turned the corner of the building, you were pressed up against the wall, and a hand over your mouth; your arms were pressed behind your hands so you could reach for the walkie to even get anyone's attention. the person in front of you had black hair parted in the middle — you couldn't lie by saying he wasn't the most beautiful human being you'd ever seen.

"please, please don't tell them you found us. please, i'm begging you." he whimpered, his eyes beginning to water. you started to become less tense, and you were starting to feel some sort of sympathy. he removed his hand off you mouth, and you gave him a glare.

"why shouldn't i? you've been stealing from stores and threatening people. you should be in jail." you tried to push his arms off you, but he was clearly much stronger than you, and you were starting to feel fear.

"we only do it because we don't have anything else, just leave us be. i promise that if you ever find us again, we'll let you take us." he was breathing heavily, and his eyes were becoming teary. he was a criminal, and he shouldn't be forgiven, but you had a weak heart and you were starting to realise, maybe you just weren't fit for this job.

"go." you spoke almost emotionally, and you looked down in guilt thinking about how taeyong would feel if he found about this — his best student let him down, on purpose. you didn't even try hard.

"thank you so much." he mumbled, then ran off down the side of the building. i sighed, wiping the sweat from my forehead, that wasn't even the worst something could have been.

"did she fall for it? dude, if she did i'm signing you up as an actor, because you just tricked a cop into having sympathy for you." jaemin jumped over the ripped up couch they had in what they would call a living room. jaemin was one of the boys that usually stayed put, he would be the one flirting with the store owner while some of the others stole whatever they needed.

"of course she did, i really deserve an oscar, i even fake cried. it was quite easy to be honest, because it wasn't leader boy taeyong or their 'best cop' yuta, what cop doesn't know how to chase down a bunch of teens? i think she was new, i haven't seen her before." the boys had been in trouble with the police on multiple occasions, at this point they were now the main criminals the police were after.

a bunch of young boys they just wanted to spend their life in the most adventurous way.

"you probably scared the poor girl to death, you really could've just pretended you were a random guy walking around, this place isn't blocked off. because now she knows what you look like, well done." renjun rolled his eyes, eating a packet of doritos that they'd recently stolen from one of the stores. 

renjun didn't really do much to do with the boys, he just took care of them all. he cooked for them with the help of jaemin, he made sure they felt safe where they were. all because he was scared of losing them.

"they're invading our privacy, i'd just say were six, innocent boys that got kicked out of our parents houses because they didn't care about us." renjun rolled his eyes at donghyuck's response, the orange haired boy looked like the fluffiest person alive, but he really wasn't — he was the most dangerous one of the group, the one who was treated the worst. he wasn't scared to go up to someone and threaten them, hurt them. and that scared the others too.

"renjun where are the other doritos, i swear we took more than one packet." jisung walked into the room, smiling when he finally saw jeno was back. jisung was a lookout, he stayed at their, well home, watching out for any people and jeno was the first to leave to lead them away when jisung was worrying over the police outside.

honestly, jeno really could not care less if he went to prison, but there was no way he could leave his friends behind and be split from them because it would have broke him.

"i ate it, sorry." chenle giggled, running away as jisung ran after him shouting over the face he claimed that packet.

"i kinda feel bad about it you know? it was easy to get rid of her, but she was new clearly and probably trained for that shit for years, and i just ruined it for her." he mumbled, taking a seat and taking a deep breath. jaemin patted his back with a smile on his face.

"well you did it buddy, we're proud of you." renjun stood up whispering 'it was a stupid decision' under his breath. renjun really hated the way they did things, but he knew it was the way they survived, and he was already in a bad mood today after jaemin and donghyuck had a bad argument of which he had to spend time sorting out.

"i guess i'll just have to hope i don't have to do that again."

when you got back, you told taeyong you hadn't found anything and the whole place was abandoned, that one comment had threw off the whole job because they decided to search in other places on the other side of town, where the group of boys weren't set.

it had been a couple of days since then, and everything was starting to get messy for you. you couldn't concentrate nor could you sleep at night thinking about the boy you'd encountered. you'd learnt so much about how important it was to check people's body language, but you hadn't once looked at him below his face because he scared you. you weren't fit to go against criminals.

one night, you decided to just go on a little walk in hope that it would calm you down a little bit. grabbing your coat, you walked outside and breathed in the fresh air. it was late at night, maybe around eleven pm. when you still lived with your parents, you used to sneak out a lot when you were younger for these types of walks. you used to go to the same park every time but you moved farm far away from there and it saddened you that you couldn't go there now — you would've been a lot calmer there instead of walking down the streets walking past closing shops, making it become slightly darker as the light from the shops were off.

behind you, light footsteps were heard and you swallowed the lump in your throat, starting to walk faster. looking around, you looked for any signs of open shops you could go in but there was nothing. everything was closed. you brought up the courage to turn around, and noticed an extremely tall man behind you.

"are you following me?" you asked and he gave a small smirk, yeah, he was definitely following you. "are you going to answer or not? i don't have time for this."

"i just couldn't help myself, you just looked so delicious." you gagged at his words, you almost laughed. it was disguising, he looked disgusting, his teeth were pure yellow and his clothes were ripped, his hair was extremely greasy.

"i'd appreciate it if you left me alone, i've got things to do and you're interrupting it." you didn't know where this sudden confidence in yourself had come from, but you liked it. he reached in to grab your arm, and you tried to move from his grip but he was much stronger than you. "get  your hands off me, in work at a police station and i could get you sent down right now with one push of a button. now get the fuck of me." you scowled, but the man continued to drag you into the alley way right next to you, how convenient for him.

pushing you up against the wall, his face was getting closer and closer to you, then you remember, he has a dick. so, you lifted your knee up high and used all of the energy you had to knee him, causing him to groan in pain and pull away from you. you tried running, but it didn't work as he grabbed you leg, pulling you back and pushing you down on the floor.

"i like the ones who try to get away." he whispered in your ear, dragging his lips from your ear down to your neck and you whimpered, you were absolutely terrified. that was until the man was ripped away, but your vision had gotten blurry so you had no idea who it was and could only hear the voices of others.

"jeno, get off him you're killing him!"

"no,no i'm enjoying watching this, this dick deserves to die. i swear we've come across him about five times doing the same thing, i think we should let him kill him this time."

"jae, we'll get in trouble. jeno will be in deep shit do you want that?"

"yah, i didn't think of that... hyuck pick up the girl, we can't just leave her here."

you felt arms wrap around your waist and you wanted to fight back but slowly, you were passing out. and everything was black.

when you finally opened your eyes, you were in a somewhat familiar place. it felt like you'd been there before. it was kind of bright so your eyes were hurting, but you sat up quickly to the smell of food.

"oh, she's awake. hi, i'm chenle!" a blonde haired boy appeared in front of you causing you to fall off the couch you were on and let out a small squeak. "woah, are you ok?"

"am i ok? i have no idea where i am!" you shouted, making the blonde haired boy flinch. you felt sort of bad, he seemed innocent enough, and you'd basically scared the crap out of him.

"jesus fucking christ could you be any loude- oh, that wasn't chenle making all the noise this time." another boy appeared from behind the couch and you were official in complete confusion. you remembered everything that happened last night, but you don't remember being in an abandoned building. and it hit you, these were the boys you were supposed to be searching for. "i'm jaemin, do whatever you want with that information i guess."

"i have food!" and now more people were walking into the room, and you recognised one right off the bat.

"it's you! you're the one that i almost arrested but didn't!" you shouted as you stood up, and the dark haired boy rolled his eyes and groaned.

"and you're the one that almost got me in shit when i was doing nothing wrong." he spoke and you placed your hands in your face.

"do you realise how much trouble i could get in for being here? i could get fired and i've hardly even started yet. i need to go-" you stood up and grabbed your stuff which was placed next to the couch, your coat was folded nicely and your phone, credit card and things like that were placed on the table in front of it.

you were sort of confused of why they didn't steal from you, put parts of your brain were telling you it was rude to assume they stole from everyone.

"no, before you go, promise you won't say anything about us." one of them grabbed your arm, and he looked slightly more petite then the others, less stronger, but strong non the less.

you sighed and looked at them all, "i promise i won't say anything about you."

and from that day on, you became the six boys favourite person. you become good friends with them despite it being a sin to your job, but they were the cutest things alive, you wouldn't think they'd be going around stealing, you really couldn't get over it.

something unusual had developed between you and jeno to which you didn't understand, it was like you disliked each other but we're the closest in the group at the same time. despite that, everything was getting better for them because of you. you'd helped them furnish the place a bit better, with the money you were getting from your job as an officer — ironic.

"y/n! donghyuck keeps hitting me again! i swear i didn't take your pillow, why in the fuck would i take your pillow?" jaemin shouted from across the room and you almost had ripped donghyuck's hair. today had been ten times harder to cope with them all.

"i'll take care of it, don't worry. maybe you should go take a nap or something, you seem really tired today." renjun smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, i nodded my head and walked to one of the back rooms where the beds were. there were only six beds, so you just jumped on the first one you set eyes on.

after a few minutes, you heard a small chuckle, "what are you doing in my bed?" jeno asked and you felt the bed dip when he sat down.

"i'm tired, hyuck and jaemin won't shut up, jisung and chenle are being hype and it seems like you and renjun are the only sane ones around here." you mumbled, turning around to face him.

the more you turned up here, the more you realised how pretty each and every feature of jeno was, and just looking at him made you happy.

"why are you staring at me?” he asked, you quickly looked away and you could feel him smirking at you, he knew exactly what you were thinking. “hey, look at me.” you turned your head, and soon enough jeno’s hands were on your waist with your hands around his neck and his lips on top of yours.

even just from that, you were scared. it reminded you of that night all those weeks ago. you trusted jeno wholeheartedly, but even just his hands going under your shirt, making your burning hot skin freezing cold whenever he moved them.

“j-jeno...” you moaned lightly as his hands moved from your lips down your neck.

“it’s okay.” he mumbled on your skin, his hands were slowly moving to the waistband of your pants, but the mood was quickly interrupted when jaemin had burst into the room.

“guys, renjun made us food an- oh my god i knew this was going to happen but jesus, i didn’t want it to happen in front of me. i’ll just tell renjun to put your food i-” jaemin was rambling, and his face was slowly becoming redder and redder at the sight.

“could you, like, leave jaemin.” jeno asked and jaemin nodded, and shut the door.

you and jeno looked at each other, and immediately burst out laughing. there was no way the mood was going to go back to how it was before jaemin burst into the room.

“i was thinking, maybe i should leave the dream of being a police officer behind.” you lay next to each other, but jeno quickly sat up to look at you with a shocked face.

“what? why? when you first started coming here often you’d talk about all the things you did, how long you spent working for it.” he asked and you shrugged.

“i like you guys more than i like my job, i like you a lot more than my job.” she smiled, as his lips placed on yours again.

“i like you a lot too.”

[txicgf]

okay so turns out ive been feeling gross because i was about to have my period lol. vibes. i stayed the night at The Boy™'s house yesterday and as always we stayed up all night again and played video games and im sore now and i feel better for the most part? i know why i felt shitty and anxious and i know the truth and i don't have any real logical worries and i know that, but i think i still feel a little bit like im suffocating. i don't know, he says im fine and that im okay but idk. i feel like i care too much. maybe it's all just in my head and that's why ie feel like I'm too much lol. i haven't felt this specific way about someone in like literally 5 years lmao idk it's just. intense i guess . i look at him and i feel so much affection and comfort when he's around but i worry that im overdoing it again. i feel like im overdoing it and i am letting myself care too much and it's suffocating him . i worry im gonna stick around for too long unable to take the hint . it's scary feeling all the naive fucking bullshit where you wanna keep someone around """"forever"""" and you feel that stupid fucking tug and we were talking about how he felt about relationships earlier a few days ago and he told me how he doesn't want to lose himself trying to make his partner happy or 'raise a bar' and i just wanted to grab his face through the screen and shake his head and tell him that i literally just want him . idk. idk that feels like weird wording i cringed writing that but . i don't care about a relationship with him for the most part because i kinda have all my needs taken care of - everything is exactly how i would want it in a relationship, just without the label. part of me wants the term just so i could have some hypothetical sense of security in the agreed upon exclusivity, but we're not seeing anyone else at the moment so i don't feel super worried. the idea of that hurts though, idk. from the beginning I've been scared of becoming a stepping stone to keep the bed warm until he found someone he really cared about, and sometimes that thought still bothers me but im trying to trust and i don't think he'd hide stuff like that from me, he's not that kind of person. maybe i want something more and maybe in due time this will turn out to not be enough and he won't be ready or want to and the idea of that scares me. but i want to stick around, and i don't wanna hide because of shit my brain makes up instead of concrete things he has told me. i don't wanna fuck this up either lol, i don't think i really want anything to change outside of maybe me feeling a bit less anxious rn and feeling a little more certainty about everything and how he feels about me. there's a difference between knowing something and feeling it, y'know?

i want to stick around, i really fucking like him. i didn't realize how serious these feelings were and all they seem to do is get stronger. i can't say that i have much hope he feels completely the same, but i am happy he feels the same at all lol

[soonhoonsol]

Hey chey^^

Don't apologize, i get it i literally didn't even watch the svt comeback yesterday because i wasn't feeling well, so literally do not worry at all^^

Anyways, now for your weekly review haha:

As someone who knows first aid: what are y'all doingggggggg do thry not have any stuff prepared???? Like there was bo equipment whatsoever prepared haha.

Have i mentioned that i love daegwon? Because i love daegwon. Idk i feel like he only wants te best for them but can't because of the ceo, which i hate once again^^ dude maybe uhhhhh care about your artist for like once? Also why was the shax leader scolded for smth he has like no relation to at all?

I love that we slowly get more and more shax content, i really like their dynamic? It's really fun

I absolutely forgot that the sitcom exists but hey maha and shax intercrions are always nice, especially because hyuk and dojin have this nice 'annoying siblings that you still somehow love cuz they are kinda cute' feeling to them yk?

But i do be hating the sparkling leader he feels very off and honestly is kind of an ass lbr haha.

OKAY BUT LIKE ALL O THE HOSPITAL SCENES?????

So i agree with rima let this man sleep.

But man at first the scene with maha was kinda awkward and cringe but THEN THE CONFESSION HAPPENED AND THEN HE CONFESSED TOO AND TEN THEY KISSED AND I DID NOT EXPECT THIS AT ALL OH GOD

they do be kinda cute together tho

Are you an idol? Do you have a romantic partner? Are you sick of having to avoid tons and tons of cameras and fans? Then we have the solution for you! Call now at 1800-IDOLHELP to get one session with hyuk and dojin FOR FREE!

We once again hate the fans :)))

Idk ig at least yujin knows maha won't see him that way? I also kind of liked seeing that protective side idk

I really hope they explore the IhyeonXLia dynamic more, i think that would be really interesting. Also poor Hyunji, it doesn't feel like smth is gonna happen in the direction she wants it to :(

But hey the eunjo storyline is getting bigger and bigger which is great! I really look forward to it.

Uwu they got a real date but oh god of course it got ruined ugh. (CALL HYUK AND DOJIN NOW FOR ONE FR-)

I really like that we're getting more and more backstory. There are so many individual storylines but it doesn't feel too packed? Idk can't remember the right english word but yk what i mean? It's not too much.

So yeah it keeps being interesting which is great^^

ALSO MA'AM I TOLD YOU TO NOT KEEP GETTING ME INTO NEW STUFF AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??????????? GET ME INTO DOOM AT YOUR SERVICE????? /j

No seriously i have watched all the episodes out rn this week and man i love it haha. So thank you^^

-Xon^^

hey xon!

how on earth do you type such long asks?? does tumblr not give you the word limit ajshajgdsd luckkyyy

that's completely valid!! but let me know once you listen to the new album :D

as a future film producer: YEAHHHH dude where was the first aid kit?? i get wanting to pull him out of the car asap but also no one?? called an ambulance???

SHAX's leader has that contract thing right? i think he might be contractually obligated to listen to the CEO's demands... and Daegwon :(( he's such a good manager under a crappy CEO i agree

i love SHAX's dynamic they're all so funny ashjad but also :(( we're hardly seeing any Sparkling dynamic besides the tension between that asshole and my boy Yujin </3

the confession was so...unexpected? idk man i think it felt right coming from Maha but the kiss was kinda...forced? idek man romance is weird

they do be cute together tho

OH MY GOSH CAN I PLEASEEEE hyuk and dojin my beloveds <3

Yujin realizing that Maha liked Ryoc at the accident site and then suddenly going into that whole "i used to like her" mood like boy noooo don't give up so fast T~T but then...the history so IDK ARGH ROMANCE SUCKS

Ihyeon is so fcking cute i cannot handle it i will combust AHHH if Ria doesn't want him i'll take him >< but the producer just trying to hold in his laughter...mood

Hyunji deserves better :( i have two theories: 1. either Yujin rejects her and she gets all upset and this might cause a rift between him and the girls or 2. Yujin gets together with Hyunji to make Maha jealous which is just DRAMA

in conclusion: Hyunji deserves better

EUNJOOOOOOO :D (that's it. just me screaming)

I'M SORRY BUT ARE YOU ENJOYING DOOM AT YOUR SERVICE?? I LOVE IT AHHH and you caught up so fast holy shit