#IVE SPENT LIKE A GOOD COUPLE WEEKS
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cathartic-crypt · 8 months ago
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━━━☆ “well, I got down on my knees, and I pretend to pray,”
i finally feel ready to share my favourite fallout oc currently !!!!! :D his name is Casper...and ive got a butt load of info below the cut u_u
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his full name is Casper Gallowsman ! hes 31 and was born on October 31st. hes 6’0” tall and pretty well built, body of a soldier, although a bit on the lean side. his clothes consist of an old NCR utility suit he took and modified. casper hangs around Freeside mainly, getting stuck into any manual labour job he can get himself into. he especially likes helping the followers since Arcade is one of his friends :) Raul is his other companion too, along with Rex, which he got as a gift from the Kings after doing some odd jobs here and there. he also scavenges as a half-gig, looking around buildings and finding pre-war items to sell. he died april 16th, 1945
...
oh when i mean died - i mean died.
casper is something ive decided to call a Revenant - a variation of a ghoul that, unlike your usual ghoul whos a heavily irradiated human, was a corpse that was resurrected through heavy radiation.
revenants NEED frequent contact with radiation to regenerate their body and, in turn, to look human/alive. without it their body decomposes and looks like your traditional ghoul. too little of it for too long…and theres a chance of turning feral. or dying. lose lose situation
and thats all im willing to share for now... ;p expect lots of art of him in the near future. i love him so very very dearly
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databent · 2 months ago
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i really thought i was getting better. i see now that that was stupid of me
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bmpmp3 · 8 months ago
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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procrastinateland · 2 years ago
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late night ✨😴🌃
@elementaldragonninja
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fili-gremlin · 1 year ago
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And even then I'm not going anywhere until the very last second, possibly only by being dragged off kicking and screaming. I've been on here too long to go quietly. Or with any dignity.
every fucking year we get another "no seriously tumblr is dying for REAL this time" scare and at this point i'm just taking an exhausted drag of a cigarette and staring out the window knowing damn well you are not even going to get me looking at another social media platform until either every last one of my beloved mutuals jumps ship to the same alternative or i log on here one day and there are actually red flashing lights all over my dash and an alarm blaring and a robotic voice telling me This Site Will Self Destruct In 24 Hours
#this is legit the longest ive been on any social media#i had a myspace back in the day for all of a week before i abandoned it#i spent about 6 years on livejournal#a couple years on fb before jumping ship and deleting my account#never bothered with twitter or instagram#but ive been on tumblr for something like 14 or 15 years even if i havent actively posted for all of that#but i have been here lurking#tumblr is the only place ive felt comfortable and able to control what i see on my dash since lj#i do miss lj sometimes#it definitely wasnt the same as tumblr but i liked it there...until it died#i hope i dont have to find another social media because as far as i can tell tumblr is the last bastion of anonymous social media#and thats part of why i stuck around#that and being able to curate my dash and actually have things show up in chronological order#i cant stand the whole algorithm “best/most relevant posts first” thing other social media forces on users#i pick what and who i want to see not the algorithm!#also im such an unhinged feral little gremlin now from being on tumblr so long that i dont think i could integrate on any other social medi#it would be like releasing a feral creature into a busy mall or something#possibly amusing for bystanders or outsiders#horrifying for the patrons and staff#and stressful for the feral creature who would probably end up scurrying around haphazardly and scratching and or biting several people#before finding a safe dark hole possibly made by destroying walls in order to hide and using whatever it can find to build a nest#after which it lives on whatever food court leftovers it can scrounge up and haunts the mall terrifying staff and patrons alike#until it becomes part of local legend#a cryptid that teenagers use to scare each other and college students use in hazing rituals#and uh...that up there is a good indication of why i will not thrive on other social media#but im leaving it because its funny to me
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nottobegaybutmen · 1 month ago
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I've been feeling so lonely lately
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kawaiianimeredhead · 4 months ago
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I can't believe after what felt like years (but probably wasnt) of not feeling like I have a full hyperfixation thing going on with any sort of media
I get a hyperfixation on two cosplayers on tiktok* doing mario fanfiction
I do not know how to feel about it
(*that I'm watching on youtube)
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.
#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule#im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep#and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it#drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3#bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant#by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long#i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes#just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway#and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao#whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway#ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man#i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still#it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED#UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383#.diaries#.vent
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nururu · 1 year ago
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Even if you're not into tcgs.... op tcg is an investment. It's bandais first real one piece tcg. It's like if pokemon was released right now... eventually all these cards from the first few series, which are already going for a pretty penny, are gonna be worth gold.
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maxivstappen · 3 months ago
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congratulations for 1k, you really deserve It !!
for your event: can i ask for a carlos sainz fic based on "break my heart, and I swear i'm moving on with your favorite athlete" by sabrina carpenter in good graces
thanks xx and ily
౨ৎ YOUR FAVORITE ATHLETE ! ‧₊˚.
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౨ৎ 1K EVENT — short n' sweet series (not posted yet) ౨ৎ
pairing — carlos alcaraz x reader / carlos sainz x reader
summary — break my heart and i swear im moving on with your favorite athlete! angst & sweet revenge (again lol)
warnings / disclaimer — none, just my not so perfect Spanish (please correct me)! hope you liked this <3 thank you lots for your support and sorry for my absence - school is really time consuming at the moment :( i'll be updating more frequently again soon — masterlist (not updated sry) / prev. work
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12th of January - TWITTER
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4th of February - @.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,723,981 others
yourusername girls just wanna have fun or whatever 😝 love ya @.alexandrasaintmleux
view all 31,821 comments
user1 omg why did she unfollow carlos?
user2 @.user1 she follows carlos wdym
user3 @.user2 no they mean carlos alcaraz the tennis player, y/n‘s boyfriend (if they’re still together). I suppose you’re an f1 fan?
user2 @.user3 yes haha sorry i didn’t know that, and I don’t watch tennis so that’s why i was confused
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ my only love🥹 never ever leave me again!!
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
charles_leclerc ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux what do you mean ‚only love‘?? don’t you think you’re missing someone?
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ @.charles_leclerc so sorry, of course i love my baby leo just as much🥰
charles_leclerc ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux 😔
user4 oh they’re so HOT
user5 @.user4 CARLOS FUMBLED IF WHAT I‘M THINKING IS TRUE
user6 ONE CHANCE Y/N JUST ONE
landonorris ✓you can finally focus on the better sport now 🙌
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
user7 @.landonorris WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user8 @.user7 i think carlitos and her broke up 😭
yourusername ✓@.landonorris only saying that cause i keep beating you at tennis
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5th of February - TWITTER
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5th of February - TEXTS
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6th of February - @.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by carlitosalcarazz, carlossainz55 and 1,576,971 others
yourusername if i speak i am in trouble 🤭
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landonorris ✓ AHHHHHHH
yourusername ✓ @.landonorris AHHHHHHH
user9 @.landonorris LANDO SPILL
user10 guys alcaraz liked😧
user11 @.user10 HES JELLYYYYYY
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ hope you had the best night ever☺️
yourusername ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux wasn’t as fun as it would’ve been with you🙂‍↔️
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ @.yourusername let me take you out next time 🤭
carlossainz55 ✓ @.yourusername @.charlesleclerc they’re flirting again😞
charles_leclerc ✓ @.carlossainz55 they will never stop😞
user12 THE LAST PIC
user13 @.user12 MYSTERY GUY SPENT THE NIGHT
user14 @.user13 THATS CARLOS SAINZ
user15 @.user14 i was about to call you delulu but…. i think you’re right
user16 @.user15 guys go get some sleep it’s okay … delulu isn’t always the solulu 😚
user17 HES HOLDING HER SHOES
user18 SOFT LAUNCH BUT WHO TF IS SHE LAUNCHING 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
carlossainz55 ✓ ❤️
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
user19 @.carlossainz55 @.user18 WE KNOW WHO SHES LAUNCHING🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
user20 @.carlossainz55 OHMYGAWWKDKSKALSKSKS
user21 TENNIS WAG TURNED F1 WAG AND IVE NEVER BEEN HERER FOR IT
user22 @.user21 you’ve never been what?
user23 @.user22 you need to learn matching people’s freak fr😣
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A Couple Weeks Later - TEXTS
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20th of October - @.carlossainz55 ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 3,445,912 others
carlossainz55 won the race and got the girl😉 great work from the team (and me)
view 1 comment
yourusername ✓ love you baby
- comments have been disabled -
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20th of October - @.yourusername ✓ just posted a story on INSTA !
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hope you liked it <3 guys please correct my spanish PLEASEEEEE (the question marks are weird like that on purpose because i’m a lazy bitch)
gen / sns taglist :: @norrisdriver @1655clean
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pastryvroom · 7 months ago
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love of your life | mason mount
summary , where the very much mourned couple of the uk football/youtube scence reconnect
note , i am back from hiatus so dont be a dry reader or i’ll make the angstiest fic ever with no happy ending 🤭
yes, i’ll get stressed out if i can’t read you!
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[tagged: ethereal, model.company]
❤️ liked by masonmount, gkbarry_, and 1,502,326 others
yourusername i’m so happy to finally to bring you all my skincare brand which has been in the works for 5 years, so please welcome, ethereal beauty! the site is currently in countdown mode and will go live tonight. I have personally spent time with dermatologists so that we can finally bring you a skincare line that is going to heal your skin barrier so that we can create healthy skin from within. This couldn’t have become possible without my team who helped me bring a vision that has always been on pen and paper brought to life. i love you all at ethereal beauty and i can’t wait to see what’s in store for us 🫶🏻💕
user i have y/ns post notifications on and yet mason still beat me to like it 💔
yourbestfriend i’ve never felt so proud of you. i can’t wait for everyone to see the hard work you’ve put into this 🥹🥹
yourusername i love u sm!! thank u for listening to me ramble for days 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
benchilwell so proud now lets see if you still know how to party because ive rented out the biggest place
yourusername best get my old dancing shoes out 🫡
user i love the chilly and y/n friendship i still remember when mason introduced the two 😭
user babes are you crying over masonyn again 🤦‍♀️
ksi so free stuff
yourusername deal if free primes in the negotiation 🤝
behzingagram @yourusername good luck he won’t even give it to the sidemen
gkbarry_ im omw with a vodka cranberry that has your name all over it!!
user is this going to be affordable? because id love to support you but im a struggling student at uni
yourusername when me and the team were working close together a big concern of mine was overpricing because i wanted this to be affordable and accessible for everyone, but to make sure we are bringing the best we possibly can we as team have had to price it up at around £15/£20 for more advanced medical products but everything else on the site is pretty affordable 💕
user hopefully this helps my cystic acne because if im going to listen to anyone its going to be a past cystic acne girlie 🥰🥰
model hi yn it was amazing working with you on the shoot!! the range is amazing 💗
yourusername omg hi beautiful!!! i loved having you on the shoot & i look forward to hopefully having you back in the future 👀🫶🏻
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[tagged: ethereal, gkbarry_, bestfriend1, bestfriend2]
❤️ liked by masonmount, gkbarry_ and 1,303,201 others
yourusername it was so amazing getting the chance to celebrate something that has been my biggest passion ever with the people i hold most dear in my heart. i would not be who i am or where i am today without you (i need those passion fruit martinis again 🥰)
bestfriend1 we brought the house down with our rendition of girls just wanna have fun 🎤
yourusername nobody held a chance quite literally
benchilwell @yourusername tell me about it you threatened to bite me when i reached for the mic
ksi 🔥🔥
user how did mason let her slip away mother come home pls 🙏🏻
gkbarry_ you looked so sexy let me wife you up x
yourusername come right here then im waiting 🥰
behzingagram you know its a good night when i found faith in the bath tub this morning
user help!?? faith is just like me
bestfriend2 those passionfruit martinis need to come back asap so lethal but so yummy!!
yourusername girls night next week!! we’ll try to make them ourselves can’t say it’ll be successful 😂
bestfriend1 @yourusername that’s what makes it more fun
user omg i need a friendship like theirs rn!!!
user i will never get over how beautiful you are
user OMG SOMEONE TOOK A VIDEO OF MASON AT THE CLUB
user SHUT UP WHERE CAN I FIND IT
user its on twitter so basically its a full 2 minute video of him just staring longingly at yn all night, like whenever she moved his eyes followed her. it wasn’t till chilly slapped him on the back did he stop staring. this man was transfixed i tell you 🥹🥹
user why can’t they just see what’s in front of them 😩😩
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[tagged: masonmount]
❤️ liked by benchilwell, declanrice and 3,250,129 others
yourusername be the love of your life
comments on this post have been turned off.
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eepwriting · 8 months ago
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Pretty Sounds ✶ IV x Fem! Reader
warnings: nsfw, smut, drinking, recording (with consent), oral (f receiving), fingering
!! mdni !!
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚
When iv suggested that you come stay with him for a couple days, you jumped at the opportunity. He would be leaving for tour soon and you both knew the chances of seeing each other for more than a day were slim to none.
You had your own responsibilities back home. Work, pets, your own friends and family to tend to and an apartment to keep up with. So touring with him and or taking multiple days off of work was just not in the cards for you.
The past few days had been exciting, relaxing and exhausting. You had visited iv plenty of times at this point but he was always excited to show you around the place where he grew up. Excitedly dragging you to his favorite spots, detailing stories from his youth, and of course taking your picture in front of every building you said was cool or pretty.
With all the fun and exploring, iv still had his own work responsibilities to deal with. Whether it be practice or meetings with the rest of the team, he and everyone else wanted to make sure the tour ran smoothly. Some days he’d be gone from sun up to sun down, always apologizing for leaving you alone all day.
You fully understood what you were getting yourself into when the two of you started dating so you never gave him a hard time about it. You had brought plenty of things to keep yourself occupied.
So when iv kissed you on forehead this morning and said he’d be back late, you were of course a little disappointed but knew you could keep yourself busy.
The day had actually gone relatively quickly. You spent the day reading, watching a couple episodes of the show you were currently trying to catch up on and cleaning up around the apartment.
After the kitchen was near spotless, you opened the fridge and spotted a bottle of wine that had been chilling for the past few days. You couldn’t remember where it had come from, only that iv “took one sip and gagged” so you knew that he wouldn’t be disappointed if you had a couple drinks. Grabbing a wine glass, you poured a small amount and took a tentative sip. It wasn’t the worst thing you had ever tasted but also not good by any means. Dry and notes of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
Eh, it’d do the trick.
Needing to bathe and feeling the soreness in your legs and back from all the walking you’d done this week, a hot bath sounded like the perfect way to end the day. With your glass and the bottle of wine you made your way to the bathroom. After plugging the drain, you turned the water to almost the hottest setting and watched the tub start to fill.
You wanted some bubbles, so you opened the cabinet under the sink in search for anything that’d do the trick. Settling on some of iv’s old body wash.
After stripping and pulling your hair into a loose bun, you stepped into the tub. The hot water felt great on your sore muscles and when paired with the wine that was already working its magic, you started to feel a little sleepy. You didn’t want to fully fall asleep, deciding to scroll through your phone for a while and sip on your wine.
Some time had passed, how much? You couldn’t really tell. All you knew was that the water was significantly cooler than before and that there were only about 3 sips of wine left in the bottle. Not wanting to get out quite yet, you closed your eyes for a minute and laid your head back against the wall. You found yourself humming a tune of a song you couldn’t remember and through your humming, thought you heard the sound of a door closing. It was a little hard to tell in your tipsy state.
Hearing soft footsteps and a creak at the bathroom door, your heavy eyes opened to reveal iv leaning against the doorframe.
“Hi baby!” Your hand came up in a small but excited wave. IV cracked a smile and could definitely tell you had been drinking just by the way you said those two words.
“Hi. You been having fun?” Said with a small chuckle. He fully stepped into the bathroom and took a seat on the closed toilet.
“Oh yeah. I figured you wouldn’t mind if I drank some of the delicious wine. You know, since you think it’s so gross.” You giggled slightly, hearing yourself slurring certain words.
“Hmm, how much did you drink?” He reaches down to pick the bottle up. “Oh! The whole thing huh?” He says with a laugh and a surprised look on his face.
“Well I didn’t mean to.” You shrugged. “I think time got away from me a little bit.” You held up your thumb and pointer finger in an effort to show how long you’d been in the bath.
“It’s okay.” He laughed. “I’m just glad you’re drunk here and not somewhere else.”
You rested your head against the lip of the tub, the coolness feeling nice against your temple. “Come here, I missed you.” You reached an arm out towards iv, ignoring the small drops of water hitting the floor.
He gladly took your hand and slid off the toilet seat to kneel down next to the tub. Your wet hands slid up and around his neck to pull him into a hug, his arms wrapping around you.
“I’m getting you all wet.” You said.
“Mm it’s okay, I don’t mind.” You felt him squeeze you a little tighter and place a kiss on your shoulder.
The two of you stayed that way for a short while before pulling away. IV looked down at the wine bottle, picked it up and finished off the rest of the wine, not without a deep look of disgust. “This shit is horrible, how did you drink this whole thing?” He wipes his mouth.
“I don’t really know, it started to taste okay after a while.” You reached out for him again. He let you pull him to you and wrapped his arms around you again. To say you got a little touchy when you drank was a slight understatement and now having iv home and touching you, you couldn’t help yourself. Turning your head, you started placing small kisses on his neck and jaw. Small kisses soon turned into open mouth ones and the quiet groans coming from iv only egged you on more.
“Mm, do you need something?” He asked, gently pulling your head up and away from his neck to look at you.
You giggled slightly. “Kind of.” You leaned in to place kiss on his mouth, which he gladly accepted. Both his hands on the side of your face, he deepened the kiss.
He moved to your cheek and jaw, placing kisses here and there. “Well, can I help you with that?” He mumbled.
You laughed “Yes, please.”
“Drain the tub and I’ll get your towel, okay?” He placed a final kiss on your lips and pulled away to stand.
You pulled the drain plug and moved your wine glass and bottle to the side before standing up. Shivering from the cooler air hitting your skin, you gladly accepted the towel iv handed you. He grabbed your hand to help you step out of the tub and soon started running his hands up and down your arms and sides. Simultaneously helping you dry off and warm up. “Don’t forget your legs.” He took the towel from you once your top half was dry, kneeling down to dry the front and back of your legs. Before standing, he placed a couple kisses on your stomach and thighs, almost as if he couldn’t help himself.
You whined slightly, begging him to stand up and stop teasing.
“Go lay down, I’ll clean up in here.” Tightening the towel around you, he gently pushed you out the door and towards the bedroom. Once there, you pulled the elastic from your hair, letting it fall. Making sure you were completely dry, you laid down, towel still wrapped around you as were still shivering. Iv returned shortly, crawling from the foot of the bed up to you. Bending down, he kissed you, fast and hungry, his hands wandering everywhere.
You couldn’t help the small whines and moans crawling up from your throat. The feel of all of him plus the alcohol creating a whole different sensation. He abruptly pulls away from you, eliciting another groan, this time purely from frustration.
“What? What’s wrong?” You ask.
“Oh nothing baby. I think…the sounds you make are always pretty but tonight they sound extra nice.” He leans back in to place a sloppy kiss on your mouth. “You don’t have to say yes, but could I record your pretty sounds? Just for me to hear? You know for when I’m gone? Please.” He looks at you with the most pleading eyes you’ve ever seen so you couldn’t possibly say no. Plus the thought of him listening to you when he’s away and physically can’t have you, turns you on more than you’d like to admit.
“Yes, of course baby.”
The look on his face akin to that of someone seeing snow for the first time, he rushes to fish his phone out of this pocket. Opening his camera, scrolling to the video setting, he presses record and sets his phone down next to your head.
“Thank you baby. Don’t be quiet now.” He resumes his messy kisses, trailing them down your neck. Grabbing both ends of the towel wrapped around you, he tosses them aside, letting out a quiet groan just at the sight of you. His mouth comes down onto one of your nipples, one hand on the other, tweaking and pulling. More moans fall from your mouth, everything feeling more sensitive than normal.
Your sounds seem to egg him on, almost turning him into an animal. He lightly digs his teeth into the flesh of your tit before making his way down your stomach, licking a stripe down along the way. When he meets the place you need his mouth most, you hear and feel him take a deep breath. His tongue comes out to draw small circles around your clit but never actually touches it. He continues his teasing for longer than you’d like before finally placing his tongue over your clit, sucking hard.
You moan loud, your hips bucking, finally getting what you want. You hear him slightly chuckle into you, the vibrations from him only helping more. He then licks a wide stripe from your opening up to your clit, again and again and again. You’re a moaning mess as this point but you want more.
“Baby, please.” You tap on his hand that’s been placed on your hip in an effort to keep you still.
“Hm, what do you want baby? Tell me what you want.” He takes a breath and looks up at you. You wrap your palm around two of his fingers, hoping he gets the hint. “Ohh, you want these?” He slightly wiggles his fingers with a dopey smile on his face.
You eagerly nod your head, not caring how excited you seemed. “Well get em wet for me.” His hand slides up your body, his pointer and middle finger tapping on your bottom lip. You slowly open your mouth, allowing him to place his fingers on your tongue. Mouth closed, you swirl your tongue around his fingers, sucking a little for extra measure. IV looks up at you with a blank but dazed look, his eyes only focused on his fingers in your mouth. You grab his forearm before pulling his fingers out, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.
A mumbled “shit” comes from him before his now wet fingers come down to draw tight circles over your clit before trailing down to probe at your entrance. You moan a frustrated moan just wanting to be fucked by his fingers before he finally pushes both in at once. Your breath catches in your throat, producing an almost silent cry from you. His thumb comes up to rub at your clit and it’s almost too much. Your mind foggy from the wine and lust, your body buzzing with pleasure. You squeeze your eyes shut to completely melt into the sensations you’re feeling.
You feel iv at your side now, kissing on your chest and neck, all while his hand is still working between your legs. You open your eyes and turn your head to see him, placing a hand on the back of his neck, bringing his mouth to yours. You both moan into the kiss, your fingers threading through his hair. With his fingers and thumb still working you at lightning speed, you feel yourself getting close.
IV can tell and pulls away to rest his forehead against yours, whispering words of encouragement to you. “C’mon baby. Let go for me. You look so pretty like this.” He places a kiss on your mouth between every encouragement and praise. Before you know it, your release hits you like a truck, your head rolling back, a quiet but high pitched moan falling from your mouth. “There you go. So good for me baby.” You can barely hear him speak, too preoccupied by your own pleasure.
IV’s fingers continue to work you through your climax, only moving much slower now. You feel him placing lazy kisses everywhere and anywhere while you slowly come down from your high. His movements eventually stop all together before he pulls his fingers from you. His other hand comes up to pause the recording on his phone, which you had almost completely forgot about.
“I’m gonna love listening to this baby. Thank you.” He smoothes some of your hair down before placing a kiss on your forehead. You let out a lazy hum, still too dazed to give a proper answer.
You reach out for him “Now let me help you.” Your voice quiet and relaxed.
“Not yet pretty, I have to make up for all the time you’ve spent by yourself.” He says as he makes his way down to settle between your legs again.
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
This is kinda long so I apologize. This is also my first time writing in like…6 years or something so I’m sorry if this is shit.
I’m currently taking requests so if you’d like to see anything in particular just use the request button on my blog :)
K thanks for reading. Bye bye
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taahko · 10 months ago
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I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before
oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long
ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv
but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec
for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:
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september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please
more talking points:
consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"
hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized
in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party
there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea
details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2
we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments
overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.
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worseforwords · 9 months ago
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Danger
(Alessia Russo x Reader)
Chapter IV of Marshmallow
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Four minutes. That’s how long it took for Alessia to say something that made your head spin when you saw each other again for the first time after Paris. You were in the changing room, unable to stop yourself from eavesdropping on the conversation on the other side of the room after Beth asked Alessia about the weekend you spent together in the city of love. “Yeah, it was really romantic. It almost felt real in a way.”
Her words caused you to perk up in an instant, and you could hear big, dramatic gasps emanating from Beth, Vic, and Kyra. “No, not like that, you idiots,” she quickly added. Of course not. Of course, it wasn’t like that.
The next few weeks once again revolved around finding the right balance between you and Alessia which was tougher than it seemed at first. You consciously distanced yourself from Alessia, even though you valued the friendship and connection the two of you had built over the past two months.
About three weeks in, you started feeling like you finally had things under control. You saw each other in training, talked and laughed together, but you always kept it light and casual. Both of you mostly fell back into your usual friend groups, so avoiding her outside of football wasn’t that hard, although you had to come up with excuses a few times in the process.
You were really feeling more confident in your own defences, so when Leah begged you to finally join a team night out again, you said yes. After all, you had started to run out of reasons not to, and obviously, you couldn’t tell her the real one.
The night out at the bar with your teammates was exactly what you needed after a long week of training. As you entered the lively bar, the sounds of laughter and music welcomed you. The atmosphere was electric, and you could tell it was going to be a memorable evening.
Leah wasted no time in rounding everyone up for a round of drinks. “First round’s on me!” she exclaimed with a mischievous grin, already heading towards the bar as you followed closely behind.
Meanwhile, Beth and Viv found a cozy corner booth for all of you to sit. Katie, true to form, was already causing a scene, engaging in animated conversation with the bartender as she ordered a round of shots for the table. “Make ‘em strong, mate!” she called out, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.
“Katie, you’re going to get us kicked out before we’ve even had a chance to sit down,” Beth teased, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Relax! I’m just trying to spice things up a bit,” Katie retorted with a wink, earning another round of laughter from the group.
As the night progressed and the drinks kept flowing, Katie’s suggestion of playing a drinking game was met with enthusiastic approval from the group. The game started innocently enough, with rounds of laughter and playful banter filling the air. Laura was the first to lose a round, and she accepted her fate with a grin, downing a shot with flair.
Next up was Vic, who groaned dramatically when she lost. “Alright, no more shots for me. Hit me with your best dare,” she declared, rolling her eyes playfully. After a brief debate the group decided she had to do a TikTok dance all by herself on the empty dance floor. Brave as she was she did so without much hesitation, before sprinting back to the booth and falling into a fit of giggles in embarrassment.
After a couple of rounds, the alcohol had clearly taken its effect, and the laughter grew louder with each passing moment. The first few rounds you were on top of your game, and admittedly also a bit lucky. Luck wasn’t on your side forever though, and as the alcohol started taking its effect on you too, you eventually found yourself making more mistakes and losing a round.
Having had plenty of alcohol by now, you too decided on doing a dare instead of a shot. As everyone started discussing what they could have you do, Katie’s voice cut through the chatter, “How about you tell us how good of a kisser Alessia is!”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you shot a startled, somewhat angry glance at Alessia, who met your gaze with an apologetic expression. You hadn’t realised anyone beyond the two of you knew about your intimate moment in Paris. 
Alessia’s eyes then darted to Vic, who was busy shooting daggers across the table at Katie, who remained grinning, awaiting your response. It dawned on you how naive you had been to think such a juicy secret could remain between just the two of you in this team, but you couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed in Alessia. Though you now realised she likely saw the kiss as nothing more than a funny anecdote, and you couldn’t blame her for that. Unlike you, one sloppy kiss hadn’t left her longing for more, wanting to do it again every time you moved your lips to speak. She didn’t think about the feeling of your hands caressing the back of her neck every time she caught a whiff of your perfume, and she sure as hell didn’t imagine being trapped against a wall anytime you leaned into her before a corner. She wasn't pathetic like that. And neither were you, of course.
“I’ll take the shot instead,” you declared, tossing it back before excusing yourself and swiftly heading towards the toilet. You splashed some water on your face, and waited a while, hoping the topic of conversation would change whilst you were gone. Stepping back out after a minute, you found Alessia waiting in the hallway.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, her expression apologetic as she placed a hand on your arm, indicating her sincerity. “I was stupid enough to think that would spread this quickly.”
“It’s fine, really,” you replied as you turned away, intending to rejoin the team, but Alessia’s grip on your wrist stopped you. “Wait—” she said and you turned around expectantly just as she tripped over her own feet and stumbled towards you, letting herself be caught by you. 
“Oh hi,” she said, her face now mere centimetres away from yours, and the familiar smell of her breath mixed with the smell of alcohol messed with your brain. “Maybe we should… you know— practice being girlfriends again, in case your parents show up or whatever,” she suggested with a grin, prompting you to steady her on her feet. She was clearly very intoxicated, more so than you and you realised there was no use in explaining to her again that your fake relationship was over. “Let’s head back inside shall we?” You suggested, avoiding her gaze as you turned away from her once more. 
“Yes! Let’s dance,” she exclaimed excitedly, following behind you.  By the time you arrived, your teammates were already dancing the night away, and you quickly made your way over to Leah, distancing yourself from Alessia.
“Mate, are you okay?” Leah asked, concern evident in her voice as she observed your expression. “You look proper floored.”
“Yeah, all good,” you lied, forcing a smile. “Nothing to worry about,” you tried to reassure her. Leah remained quiet for a bit, looking you up and down then scanning your face, seemingly unconvinced. “Well, great,” she replied finally, crossing her arms. “Now why the hell didn’t you tell me the two of you kissed?”
“Oh, that,” you began, trying to sound casual. “It didn’t mean anything, okay? So just drop it, please.” The annoyance in your voice caught yourself off guard and you quickly shifted your gaze to the floor, in fear of Leah’s reaction. “Jesus, all right,” she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Didn’t mean to step on your toes, mate.”
“Sorry Lee,” you groaned with an apologetic smile, although you knew she wasn’t really mad at you. She knew you were upset but she also knew you were as stubborn as a mule when it came to being vulnerable and talking about your feelings. She rolled her eyes dramatically and said, “Yeah, whatever. Let’s just have a good time and forget about it, alright?” 
You danced with Leah and some other teammates for a while before some of them headed to the bar with the promise of yet another round of drinks. Alessia seized the moment, pulling you into the centre of the lively crowd. The atmosphere was charged with energy, and Alessia, unburdened by inhibitions, twirled you around with an infectious grin.
As the music intensified, Alessia’s movements grew bolder. In the dim light and pulsating music, she closed the distance between you, her hand lingering on yours, and her body moving in sync with yours. You swallowed hard as you realised your intoxicated state inhibited you from doing anything but enjoy this moment.
At one point, the music slowed, and Alessia’s hand found its way to the small of your back, her gaze locking onto yours. She leaned in, a hint of mischief in her eyes, and you tensed, any questions you had getting stuck in your throat as you anticipated her next move.
Alessia’s lips brushed against your cheek, dangerously close to a kiss, but as you looked over her shoulder, you noticed Leah raising an eyebrow at you from where she stood across the bar. The realisation of what was happening hit you like a jolt, and you instinctively pulled back, breaking the intimate moment. A wave of conflicting emotions surged within you—temptation, confusion, and the desperate need to regain control. And you ran.
Leah caught up with you after a few minutes. “Hey! Wait, Y/N,” she called, grabbing your shoulder to slow you down from behind. “I don’t want to talk about it, Lee,” you groaned.
“Fine, don’t talk. But you’re not going home alone. I’m calling us an Uber,” she declared, and you knew there was no changing her mind. “Fine,” you sighed.
As you and Leah settled into the Uber, the ride was uncomfortably quiet. Each passing streetlight cast fleeting shadows across Leah's face, highlighting the concern etched into her features and her clenched jaw. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet her gaze, opting instead to stare out of the window as the city blurred past.
When the Uber pulled up outside Leah’s apartment, you braced yourself for the inevitable confrontation. Following your friend inside, you sank into the welcoming embrace of her sofa, feeling the weight of her gaze like a physical pressure.
Leah wasted no time, her voice cutting through the silence with unwavering determination. “Alright, out with it,” she demanded, her tone firm and uncompromising. “You’re not getting any sleep before you tell me what’s going on.”
At first, you scoffed at her blunt approach, your defences rising instinctively as you crossed your arms and stared at the wall. But beneath Leah’s steely exterior, you could sense the genuine concern and care in her words, and a part of you longed to unburden yourself to someone who truly understood. “I don’t know what to tell you, Lee. Nothing’s going on.” You briefly paused before quietly adding, “That’s the problem…”
“This is about Alessia,” Leah stated. Clearly, it didn’t matter how vague and distant you acted; she would always see right through you. “Y/N… that didn’t look like nothing to me.” Her voice was softer now, as she took a seat next to you.
“Well, it was,” you stated, and with a heavy sigh, you relented, the floodgates opening as you poured out anything and everything that had happened between you and Alessia in the past two months and how you felt about it. How you felt about her.
Leah listened intently, her expression softening as she absorbed your words, offering no judgment, only support. As you spoke, if only slightly, you felt a flicker of relief wash over you. And as the tears flowed freely, Leah remained by your side.
When you were done speaking, she held you as you shed a few more tears, until you felt your eyelids grow heavy. “Let’s get you to bed,” Leah softly stated as she took you to her guest bedroom.
The next morning, you woke up feeling a bit groggy but grateful for Leah’s help and care. When you entered the kitchen, she was still nowhere to be seen, so you decided to cook up a nice breakfast to thank her. You knew her kitchen like your own, as you always had to cook for her when you visited, not trusting her with it one bit. By the time Leah walked into the kitchen, you noticed her eyeing the food on the table with a mixture of surprise and amusement.
“I made breakfast,” you offered with a chuckle, knowing all too well Leah’s lack of culinary skills. “Figured I’d return the favour. I can’t handle feelings without you, and you won’t have anything to eat without me.”
Leah raised an eyebrow in mock indignation. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to take cooking lessons,” she retorted, grabbing a slice of toast and taking a bite.
You both shared a laugh as you sat down to enjoy the delicious breakfast you had made. You ate in silence, and despite the weight of yesterday’s conversation still lingering in the air, there was a sense of peace and understanding between you.
Eventually, Leah broke the comfortable silence, her tone serious yet gentle. “Listen. I know there’s no way in hell you’re taking my advice on this,” she began, “but just for the record, I think you should tell her how you feel.”
You couldn’t help but shake your head, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “I can’t, Leah,” you admitted, the weight of your words heavy in the air. “She’s happy with Dan, and it wouldn’t be fair to her. Besides, I’d rather be friends than nothing at all.”
Leah sighed, her expression softening with understanding. “I get that, I really do, but you’re torturing yourself by letting things go on like this,” she said, her voice laced with concern.
Leah’s words stuck with you the rest of the day as you replayed the events of last night in your mind. She wasn’t wrong; this was torture for you.
By the end of the day, the solution seemed clear to you: avoid Alessia altogether. Confessing your feelings to her was not an option, and being around her hurt you. So, really, avoiding her was the only sensible thing to do.
The following week, you did everything in your power to make your plan work. You sat opposite to wherever she was in the changing room and in meetings, and left immediately after every training session. You stopped hanging out with teammates altogether, fearing she might join in. When Lotte mentioned she was coming over to your shared apartment, you quickly made up an excuse and left for the rest of the day.
It wasn’t easy, and frankly, it was painful when you felt her trying to reach out to you. She would attempt to start a conversation, and you would suddenly make a beeline for Leah or pretend you didn’t hear her. One time, she even sent you a photo of a new type of chocolate pretzels she had found, which you ignored. When she asked if you wanted to talk, you ignored that too, and it hurt.
Nevertheless, you knew in your heart this was the only way to keep the both of you from getting hurt, and so you persevered. That was until after two more weeks of avoidance, the inevitable finally happened.
Your alarm went off early that morning after not having had much sleep. The night before, Alessia had suddenly shown up at your apartment, stating she was there to meet Lotte. She had asked if you wanted to join them for dinner, and you made up an excuse and left. You didn’t return until much later, when the only light visible through the curtains was the little nightlight in the living room, and you knew the coast was clear. You stirred for a long time before finally falling asleep, having spotted Alessia’s coat and shoes in the hallway and knowing she was lying on the other side of the wall you were staring at.
You didn’t have training until later that day, but you decided on an early alarm so you could escape the apartment before anyone else would wake up. You quickly threw on some joggers and a sweatshirt and kept your morning talk in the mirror short and to the point. You felt a sense of confidence wash over you as you realised you’d managed to prevent yet another encounter with the person you had been avoiding for weeks. 
All that confidence left your body in an instant however, when you opened your bedroom door to be met with a pair of widened blue eyes already staring at you. “Hi,” said Alessia, a shy smile on her face.
“Morning,” you said dryly, “you’re up early.” You didn’t really want a conversation with her, but at this point, small talk seemed unavoidable. “I, uh, couldn’t sleep anymore,” she replied. You brushed past her to grab your shoes and sat down on the edge of the sofa to tie the laces.
“Hey, Y/N?” She started hesitantly, causing you to look up at her, dreading whatever she was about to ask you. “Do you want some coffee? I just made some.” 
“Oh, no thank you. I was just about to go for a walk actually,” you answered, avoiding her gaze by focusing on your shoelaces again. “Oh right, of course,” she said quietly. The discomfort she felt was clear in the way she moved, the tension in the room palpable. You felt your eyes starting to water as your emotions overwhelmed you. The disappointment written on Alessia’s face, the way your body tensed up with every word she said, and the fact that you still had to fight the urge to kiss her right then and there, it was all too much.
“Enjoy your walk,” she said softly as you disappeared into the hallway. You grabbed your coat and keys and finally left the house. 
As you were trying your best to fight the tears now brimming your eyelids from falling down your cheeks until you had at least rounded the corner, you heard a different voice calling your name from behind you: Lotte. And she didn’t sound happy. “What are you doing?” Her tone was like a shout but her volume that of a whisper, given how early it was.
“Taking a morning stroll,” you replied quietly without turning around hoping to leave it at that. “You know that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about Less. She really wants to talk to you but you’ve been avoiding her, ignoring her. I have no idea what’s going on with you but I can tell this is hurting her, and after all she’s done for you—” she stopped abruptly when you turned around to face her and she noticed the tears now rolling down your face. You saw the hesitation in her eyes. Lotte was not an angry person. In fact, this was the angriest you had ever seen her, so you knew you had really messed up. She scanned your face for a little longer before asking, “Can you please just tell me what’s going on?”
“I— I really can’t, I’m sorry.” You felt an immense sense of guilt wash over you. These past few weeks you had hardly given it any thought how your actions were affecting others. You had decided this was the best thing to do for everyone involved, but of course Alessia did not know that and she had had no say in the matter.
“Okay,” Lotte mumbled hesitantly, “okay, but will you at least talk to her later? You can’t avoid her forever, Y/N,” she stated, and you knew she was right. You took a deep breath before accepting your fate and telling her, “Yeah, okay. You’re right.”
You opted to save the talk for after training, giving both of you some time to prepare. Lotte relayed the news to Alessia and assured to spend the night at her boyfriend’s place, granting the two of you some privacy. 
You spent your morning trying to figure out how to tell her what was going on, struggling to come up with the right words. The day went by fast and training, albeit awkward and tense, also flew by. Before you knew it, you were back home, bracing for the dreaded conversation.
Alessia seemed unusually uncomfortable, fidgeting with her hands as you walked into the familiar living room in silence. “Tea?” You asked and she nodded as she got settled.
Returning with two cups of tea minutes later, you took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa. You sat in silence, both of you playing with your teabags for a while, contemplating how to initiate the conversation.
Finally, she broke the silence, her voice hesitant. “I, uh, have been wanting to talk about the other night, you know, at the bar” she began, her words coming out slowly and anxiously. Weeks had gone by since that night, but you had not given her a single chance to talk about it since. “I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable or crossed any boundaries.” 
You waved off her apology with a small smile. “It’s fine,” you reassured her, not really wanting to think or talk about that night anymore, since you knew it was just a drunken mistake to her, and so much more than that to you. “Just... caught me off guard, is all.”
Alessia’s expression softened, like she somehow knew exactly what you meant by that. She took a deep breath before blurting out three words you had never expected to hear her say.
“Dan is gay,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “His parents are... well, they’re really homophobic.” As she spoke, you could see a mixture of pain and embarrassment etched in her features, the weight of her words heavy on her shoulders.
Your confusion must have shown on your face, prompting Alessia to continue, her words tumbling out in a rush. “And, well, my parents were like yours. They kept asking when I’m going to settle down with a boyfriend,”
As Alessia spoke, the pieces started to fall into place, and you listened intently as she unraveled the complex web of her relationship with Dan. “We were really good friends, Dan and I," she explained, “And we get along well, so we came up with this... arrangement.”
She paused, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing. “We decided to pretend to be together,” she admitted, pausing again to finally look at you. “To make everyone around us happy.”
“We just get each other so well, you know?” she added, her voice small. “And we already spent so much time together, so it wasn’t hard to pretend.”
You thought about what she said. Somehow, suddenly everything made sense but at the same time nothing did. After a moment of silence, you finally found the words to break through the heaviness in the air. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” you asked, your voice gentle yet curious.
Alessia hesitated for a moment before responding, her gaze fixed on the floor. “I was embarrassed, I guess,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “And all I wanted was to focus on my career, so this seemed like an easy way to get everyone to stay off my case too.”
She paused briefly before continuing. “I love the friendship I have with him,” she explained, a hint of sadness in her voice as she looked at you. “And I never really felt the need to be more than friends with anyone anyway, so this has just always felt like it was enough for me. Well, until—” she stopped speaking abruptly, her words trailing off into silence.
“Until what?” you pressed, your curiosity piqued by her sudden pause. But Alessia shook her head, her expression guarded. “Nothing, never mind,” she replied, avoiding your gaze.
The conversation lapsed into silence again, the unanswered question hanging between you like a heavy fog. “Okay… so why are you telling me this now?” you asked, breaking the silence once more, your voice soft.
Alessia shrugged, her eyes flickering up to meet yours. “I don’t know, I guess I felt really bad about lying to you all this time,” she confessed, her voice tinged with regret. “Since we’ve gotten so close. Not many people know. In our team, it’s just Lotte actually. I really value our friendship, Y/N.”
As you sat there, letting everything she had just confessed sink in and trying to make sense of what it all meant, you suddenly noticed how uncomfortable Alessia looked. You quickly scooted over to her side of the sofa, prompting her to look up at you.
Reaching out, you placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for telling me, Less,” you said gently, offering her a reassuring smile. “You know you have nothing to be embarrassed about, right? Especially since I did the same thing with you.”
A small laugh escaped her lips, a hint of relief flickering in her eyes. “Guess we’re both experts at this fake relationship thing, huh?” she remarked, the tension in the room easing slightly.
You chuckled softly. “Yeah, now it does make a lot of sense why you came up with the idea in the first place,” you teased, a playful glint in your eye.
Alessia smiled, the embarrassment slowly fading from her features. “Well, it seems to have worked for both of us,” she quipped, her tone lightening.
Taking a sip of her tea, Alessia seemed lost in thought for a moment before meeting your gaze once more. “Thanks, though,” she said sincerely, her eyes softening. “For understanding, and for not judging me.”
You returned her smile with a soft one of your own. “There’s nothing to judge. I think it's really nice of you to do this for Dan,” you added.
Alessia’s smile widened, a touch of warmth in her eyes. “Thanks, Y/N. Means a lot.” She paused, clearly wanting to add something else, her smile fading into a frown. “So… are we okay?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” you said genuinely. You didn’t exactly know why yet, but somehow you felt a sense of peace about the whole situation after the conversation you had just had.
“Good, I’m glad,” she said, a relieved sigh escaping her lips. “Cause I’ve missed hanging out with you. I was really glad we had become such good friends, and I was afraid I had ruined it all by not being honest.”
“You didn’t,” you reassured her. “I was just a little… confused,” you added, hoping to leave it at that.
She nodded. “Yeah, I get that. I hope this cleared some stuff up then.” She sent you a warm smile. As the conversation wound down, Alessia glanced at the clock, realising the lateness of the hour. “I should probably get going,” she said, rising from the sofa with a small sigh.
You nodded in understanding, standing up as well. “Yeah, no problem,” you replied, walking her to the door. Before she left, Alessia turned to. “Good night,” she whispered with a grateful smile on her face as she pulled you in for a warm hug.
“Good night, Less.”
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hazybisou · 2 years ago
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PROLOGUE | LUKE HUGHES
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pairing: f!reader x luke hughes
overview: new girl, y/n, goes out to a party she was dragged to by her new roommate, only for her to end off her night with a new number in her contacts despite her suspicions.
o. i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. au masterlist
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she wasn’t sure how she got here.
all she remembered was laying in bed in her new apartment, when her new roommate came barging in, asking (more like begging) her to go to a party being thrown at some random college kid’s house.
so here she stood, in the corner of a stranger’s kitchen, with a red solo cup in her right hand. she moved the cup around in circles, watching as the liquid swirled around inside. she was hesitant to take it from her roommate, jess, as she had no idea what the drink contained.
the whole house was packed with people all over the place.
she looked up from her cup as she heard laughter that began to get louder as the group seemed to get closer. in came a group of 6 guys who all look faded or drunk. it could be both, she didn’t know.
the group all stopped and gathered by the counter and island. she stood off to the side, making sure to move over a bit, a good distance between her and the guys. she watched as they all laughed at something one said. she was still wondering what the hell she was doing here. she had recently transferred and only knew one person, jess. to everyone else, she was a stranger.
she looked over into the crowd that had somehow gotten bigger since she last looked over, hoping to find jess. her eyes scanned the room, looking for a head full of jet black hair. she looked around for a minute and with no luck, she sighed and made her way into the crowd, on a search for jess.
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“oh c’mon man! why not?” mark asked his friend, luke, who just shook his head, smiling. “it’s not that bad.”
mark, luke and a couple other guys from the team were in the kitchen at the senior house, as they were throwing a party to celebrate their win hours prior.
luke gave him a look before scoffing, “knowing you, whatever you have to say somehow always turns out to be horrible.” luke shook his head once more. “i’m not doing it. and by it, i mean whatever the fuck you’re betting me to do.”
mark turned towards nolan, “back me up here?”
“dude look, just hear him out. if you don’t like it then you don’t gotta do it. simple.” nolan told luke who seemed to think about the whole situation. he turned towards their captain who had his eyebrows raised as if asking “you in?” he looked around and everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer.
“fuck it,” he whispered to himself, “i’ll do it.” he announced and everyone began to cheer for the boy, mark going behind the 6’2 defenseman to shake his shoulders in excitement. “i’m trusting you with this.” luke pointed a finger at the man behind him.
mark raised his hands in defense, “no promises.”
“yeah, yeah, get on with it.”
mark grinned. “alright. luke i bet you a $100 that you can’t make any girl in here fall in love with you within six weeks.”
“that’s the bet?” rutger questioned and everyone turned towards him. “dude that’s literally so easy for him. lots of girls would be with him within seconds.” rutger explained. “i mean look at him. he’s too pretty to resist.” rutger cooed at luke in a baby voice as he grabbed his cheeks to squish them. luke swatted his hands away from his face. “at least make it a tad bit difficult.”
“and you’re right. which is why we” mark motioned between the group, “get to chose the girl. someone who won’t fall for his charm.” everyone seemed to like the idea except for luke who’s eyes widened in annoyance. “now let’s see..”
they spent the next 5 minutes walking around the house, agreeing or disagreeing whether a girl nearby what the right one or not.
they made their way to the kitchen once again, no luck in finding the one.
“aww, is lukey getting annoyed?” dylan teased as he noticed the scowl luke had on his face. the group burst into laughter as they seemed to notice as well. “don’t worry, you’ll find the one,” dylan reassured the boy, “hopefully.”
luke turned towards to mark, “if you guys can’t find a girl in the next 2 minutes, i swear to god-”
“how about her?”
everyone looked towards where adam had pointed. there standing was a girl who was a couple inches shorter than most of them, confusion adoring her features. they watched as she looked around, as if she were trying to find someone. she seemed lost and uncomfortable.
“adam, you’ve got a great eye on and off the ice.” mark praised the boy who just shrugged in response. “what do ya guys think?” mark asked the group who all murmured in agreement. “then it’s settled. looks like we’ve found our girl. well luke’s girl at least. whatcha think man?”
luke couldn’t hear him. he was staring. he had been ever since the moment adam pointed her out. you know those moments in romance movies where everybody and everything just seems to slow down as if the most beautiful thing had walked in, deciding to grace the room with their presence and the character cant help but feel something? yeah, that’s how luke feels at this very moment.
how had he not noticed her before? she stuck out. her hair shined under the led lights, her facial features suited her. her outfit seemed to hug her, bringing out just the right parts of her body. she was beautiful. yet she looked lost. uncomfortable. confused. anxious. there was something about her that he-
“luke!”
that seemed to bring the boy out of his trance “what?” luke snapped his head towards everyone else who had a concerned look on their face. a red tint now began to cover his cheeks as he realized he had been caught.
everyone chuckled. “you okay? you zoned out for a second.”
“he’s fine, he was just too busy checking out his little girlfriend over there.” dylan mocked and nodded to the girl who had begun to walk away and into the crowd.
mark turned towards luke, “so i’m assuming you like her?”
“what? n-no, of course not. i mean i don’t even know her, what could you-”
rutger interrupted the boy, “we meant you think she’s a good person for this.”
“oh. yea. yea, she’s fine, good.” luke rushed out. “hey, how come i haven’t seen her before though?” luke questioned.
“i don’t know. we haven’t seen her either so ‘m just gonna say she’s new.” nolan said.
“maybe.”
they turned towards the crowd and watched as she made her way to a girl who they happened to know.
“or maybe she’s not.” rutger stated. “looks like she knows jess.” they followed his gaze to where they saw jess hugging the girl.
“didn’t jess mention getting a new roommate though?” adam recalled. “so maybe she is new.”
“she most definitely is.”
luke sighed, “if she knows jess, then maybe she isn’t the right girl. for all we know, jess probably told her to stay away from us as she likes to call us, ‘self centered dickheads’ and she’ll ignore me.”
dylan turned towards luke, patting his shoulder. “good luck bud,” he added. “also try not to fall in love.”
“it is a bet after all.”
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do i like this? no. do i give a fuck? no. will i now go contemplate my life decisions and love life? yes. will i text him? probably. goodnight everybody 💗 (will i actually go to sleep? obviously not.) ignore all grammar errors.
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riverssongs13 · 19 days ago
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People talking about autism: "neurodivergent this, neurospicy that"
Which is all and good but, I have a love-hate relationship with my brand of the spicy brain.
Yesterday I saw a random TikTok video that discussed how Mahler's Ninth symphony was not merely just of "death" but is quite decidedly "of dying". The video was showcasing how the audience was amazingly able to keep the last 6 minutes of controlled silence in the 9th's finale without any noise, no clapping, nothing.
The video then talked about how Mahler's Ninth is the greatest representation of the process of dying, and how the last two pages of the score runs for nearly 6 minutes despite the scarcity of notes, with the last note marked as "passing away", this last section being just an extended act of disintegration of life. The whole orchestra holding the music as long as they can, clinging on to the silence until its inevitable end.
And so upon reading that description my coffee-addled brain said, hey that sounds like The Locked Tomb series and all the characters from the Ninth House! Music and Necromancy goes brrr! And they're both NINTH so surely there must be some connection there! I must investigate this seemingly irrelevant, unconnected thing about two of my special interest!
Fast forward to now and I've spent the entire night reading countless articles, analyses, and blogposts about Mahler, I've halfway finished about three dissertations on his music, I've pirated a couple books and biographies, learned of leitmotifs, "birds", Leitklänge, and idiophonic sound symbols, and I've listened to all 90 glorious minutes of the Ninth quite repeatedly.
Which is to say, I'm definitely in over my head because the level of analysis Brain wants requires years and years of music theory that I simply do not possess, but stubborn Brain says it must be done no matter what. After a whole day of staring at musical notes and listening to literary words, one thing I can decidedly opine about is that there are parallels between the whole Locked Tomb series and the four structural movements of Mahler's Ninth:
I. Andante comodo (D major) - Gideon the Ninth II. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb (C major) - Harrow the Ninth III. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig (A minor) - Nona the Ninth IV. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend (D♭ major) - Alecto the Ninth, once it gets published
I have yet to form a deeper impression on all this but, I just find it funny how indeed, the movements somewhat represent the titular characters and their experiences, based on the titles alone. Andante comodo - comfortably at a moderate tempo. (If that doesn't scream GIDEON I don't know what does lol) Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb - At the pace of a leisurely Ländler. A bit clumsy and very rough (our Lady Harrowhark, post-lobotomy, bleeding ears and all).
Admittedly, I haven't finished Nona, and we're still collectively suffering Alectopause, but movements III and IV are Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig - Very cheerful, very defiant; and Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend - very slow and still reserved. Do with that information what you will. (I'm still betting it'll ring quite true for Alecto once it's out).
So there. This is currently eating at my neurons. The next few days or weeks will have no music save the Ninth, or until this particular itch gets scratched/gets replaced. Faaaaak. I truly envy neurotypicals who do not suffer these kinds of sudden obsessions. How quiet must your brains be. 🥴
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