#ITS WHEN THE CHAIR STARTS DANCING WITH HIM IM ACTUALLY CONVULSING

[thekingofspin]

I opened tiktok today and was blessed with the best clip of hugh jackman I have ever seen.

I have no idea what the context is but I don't think I have ever laughed this hard in my entire life.

[lich-kid]

somehow, there is enough room in one body for four souls.

or, alternatively, how darkiplier discovered he could fuse with the other egos. more specifically, that he could fuse with the host, and that he liked it.

well, the host supposed, it really was his own fault. he had brought it up during dinner, a joke, that any of them could handle being in the same body for more than a minute, and most of the other egos thought it was hilarious. google and the doctor were mildly interested, but rather assumed it wasn’t possible. not everything the fans thought of worked, something bim found out when he tried to seduce the other egos, a fan-popular choice of his abilities. let’s just say that he had to spend a few nights in med bay after that.

and besides, no one had ever heard of such a thing as fusion before. as previously established, the host was the only one who regularly used the internet, besides the doctor who would never have wasted his time browsing it for fanfiction. regardless, it was just a joke.

at least that was what he had meant, of course, but one ego in particular had taken interest in the idea.

it was late when he heard the three neat knocks on his door, late enough that the host had already changed into his sleepwear and jumped at the sudden sound breaking the silence. anxious, he threw on his coat to hide his chest and called out to the door, almost tired enough to fall asleep right then and there.

“dr iplier, if that is you, the host requests that you check in in morning-”

the door swung open, a chill running up his spine and effectively cutting him off mid-sentence. of course, he should’ve guess from the knocks. darkiplier.

“don’t worry, host, the doctor isn’t here to bother you, i promise. i simply wanted to discuss what you.... brought up earlier. an interesting idea, fusion, isn’t it?”

pulling his coat tighter around himself, the host nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed and waving one hand in the general direction of his desk, where he knew there’d be a chair dark could pull up.

“the host... supposes so, sir. was there something about the topic in particular that interests dark? if he wished for a longer discussion, the host would be happy to talk in the morning..”

the monochromatic ego chuckled, ignoring the chair in the corner that he typically chose, and sat instead on the bed, close enough to the host to make him nervous but not close enough that they were touching.

“why, host, i didn’t take you for a human. you’ve got enough energy just to talk, im sure. now, i’d like your honest opinion. do you think fusion between two of us, two egis, is possible?”

the host instinctively shifted away from the cold ego, fidgeting his hands beneath his coat as he tried to answer as honestly as he could.

“the host believes it is possible, but should not be attempted. even fanmade fusions result in characters... far too powerful for any other egos to handle. it would be a violation of the relative safety we enjoy here, although perhaps fusions between the weaker, smaller egos could prove safe..”

his voice trailed off into the silence, suddenly deafeningly loud as he remembered who he was talking to. if you could describe any of the egos as power-hungry, darkiplier would the one.

and speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. snaking a cold arm around the host’s shoulders, dark leaned in, breath cool against the host’s skin.

“well, i believe it’s worth an experiment, my friend. after all, you can make no gains without risk, yes? im sure you’ll agree with me.”

shivering at how low the other’s voice went, charming but layered over steel, the host reluctantly nodded. all he could do was hope that it was simply another fruitless fan idea, as had been countless before.

“excellent. please, you lead. after all, youre the only one around here who does his research, aren’t you?”

with a quiet sigh, the host stood, holding one hand out to darkiplier, the other still holding his coat shut. gently pulling him from the bed, the host paused, hesitating, before that cold hand gave his a firm squeeze.

“don’t lose courage now, dear host. i promise you will not be punished if this doesn’t work.”

well, there was no more room to stall. and there was always a chance it wouldn’t work, right? the blind man began slowly, his feet trying to remember how to waltz as he went along, and the snicker from the other meant that he understood. for a few seconds, they danced, waltzing around the host’s small room, although it wasn’t quiet perfect as he still had one hand holding onto his coat, absolutely unwilling to let go. he hadn’t managed to pass in front of the others for the worst one of all to discover his secret, although it was only with the help of the doctor that he managed to get this far.

“host, as much as i enjoy our time together, i think the dance must be proper for this to work. your other hand, please.”

without waiting for a response, the ego deftly removed the host’s fingers from the coat and intertwined them with his own, keeping them locked in place.

frozen, the host kept moving in rhythm, too mortified to even react to the cold eyes he felt glancing him over. but, hand in hand, in a few seconds, there were other things he had to deal with.

such as everything fading to a white, and losing feeling in his hands and then the floor beneath his feet, and the static that absolutely deafened him before he collapsed to the floor, hands covering his ears in desperation.

and he realized that “he” was wrong. no, rather, it was..... “we?”

“fascinating,” they said. it sounded like two voices speaking at once, and the host found himself feeling incredible.

for the first time in his existence, he felt.... complete.

but he quickly realized he wasn’t the only one feeling that way, there were.... three other souls that were here. a part of him, now, as if they had been there all along.

“this is...... we feel.... we feel whole.”

their voice shook with emotions that hadn’t been felt for years. suddenly, the host understood why dark sometimes was more angry, feminine, sometimes softer, more masculine, and sometimes, he didn’t seem human at all. he understood.

“lets.... properly try this out.”

they stood, brushing themselves off as they surveyed their surroundings. and yes, they could see but...... even the very dim light of the host’s only lamp, it... it hurt. so it seemed their eyes were sensitive, but they could see, which was more than the host could have asked for. only now did they feel the slow, steady drip of hot blood down their face. a nosebleed that showed no signs of stopping, and a taste of rust in their mouth that didn’t seem out of place didn’t bother them at all.

the room itself was an absolute mess. the bed was knocked sideways, pushed against the wall, the blanket singed and really, it looked like a bomb went off right under their feet.

slowly but surely, a grin crept across their face. they had never felt such power. flicking one finger almost lazily at the bed, they watched it crumpled in on itself like a piece of paper.

“lets meet some folks, see what we can really do.”

and yeah, it’s a little weird to talk to yourself out loud, but.... there was four different people in there, so it just kind of felt right. although damien and celine.... it was almost like they didn’t exist. seeing as they could barely coexist as three in one body, now they were pushed so far from consciousness they couldn’t even hope to touch it. the house, or dark, and the host were truly in control now. they were in sync in a way they had never experienced and it was exhilarating.

the ego they encountered in the hallway on the way to his bedroom was bim. actually, he more or less ran smack into them as they stepped out of the host’s room, knocking him flat on his ass as he failed to keep his balance.

“host, i didn’t..... holy fuck.”

trimmer broke off, gaping at the nine-foot-tall being standing in front of him, watching with amusement as he struggled to surpass his confusion.

“wh... who..... what are you? how did you get in here? d... did you do something to host?”

a terrifying chuckle slipped from their grin, growing into a full laugh as he started to crawl backwards to get away from whatever the fuck was before him. they cracked their neck, a familiar gesture as they slowly but surely took one step, and then another in his direction.

“oh.... you poor mosquito. we should put you out of your misery, shouldnt we? its only right. your existence itself is suffering and we are a god. we are...  the vessel.”

bim yelped as they leaned down and delicately took hold of his ankle with two long, blackened claws and held him up, struggling, in front of their quietly giggling face. as he tried to cocoon himself in his purple aura, however, their face went from emotion to emotion so rapidly, you wouldn’t even have noticed.

“no... he doesn’t deserve this. we... we shouldn’t hurt our friends. we aren’t... a god.”

“yes... we... ARE.”

the last word devolved into a snarl, the vessel taking the poor show host in their other hand and squeezing, trying to crush him. a the same time, they started to shake, tremors wracking them until it was so violent that their aura, a smokelike substance so dark red it almost looked black, enveloped them so completely that you couldn’t even see through it, thick as milk.

bim, in the chaos, was dropped to the ground, gasping for breath and clawing at his chest, eyes unseeing with pain.

which means that he didn’t see the vessel unfuse.

the host was thrown back into his room, hitting the wall with a crack, going limp against the ground like a doll. darkiplier, on the other hand, was thrown so far down the hall that all you coudl see of him was his aura, writhing and convulsing around him, protecting him from the worst of the damage.

it was bing who found the three of them and called the doctor.

the host had broken spine, darkiplier had only minor cuts and bruises. bim had 5 snapped ribs and a third of his spine was crushed.

after that, the host isolated himself even more, and bim avoided darkiplier like the plague, only if the plague and the apocalypse had babies and they all wanted to tear his throat out.

darkiplier..... darkiplier couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt to be whole. what it felt like... to feel alive and absolutely fucking unstoppable.