#ITS SOME LONG ASS WORD IM ALWAYS GONNA SPELL WRONG

[thxnks4themrms]

Why the fuck is meet the grahams on my queue

[ez-ra-zed]

these ancient indigenous spirits kept telling me this random white bitch downstairs was gonna die. they kept saying "she gonn die" and it'd be kinda funny to something in my mind, and they'd go "no, she gonn die," cuz they find it mildly humrous at best not funny enough to laugh at. cuz killing these random ppl who were gonna die no matter what is what dead ppl do sometimes to steer the timeline in a different direction, when relatively, emphasis on the relatively, insignificant unless they're suffering and eventual death teaches other people an important lesson... she has sepsis and was on a breathing tube, they been saying for weeks "she gonn die" and "no, this bitch gone die"

that spell jar i made with some dead indigenous folk, asking them if we could protect them. and they be like "no, they're killing themselves anyway." so that skull shaped glass bottle i made a spell jar with, targeting two people in this house specifically which is why i made it red, with V8 and some other shit, asking if i could protect them somewhat they kept controlling my body and doing something through me, while slowly teaching me how to do it myself because its gatekept for a reason, so i can learn "im not gone do that again" when ppl accidentally die from magick sometimes but its statistically improbable right? and people might just die anyways if people didnt use demons or dead people (both) while learning about them to figure out if they're even real cuz what if they arent?

I told him I can't be physically touched sometimes multiple times, and he did it again, got angry with me and flipped out for my clearly set boundaries so I withdrew emotionally from whoever that random person is who actually means nothing to me right now, because I was explicit with not being focused sometimes when I have sexual trauma

I don't even like him. he's a fucking ogre, man, one of those slobs with blank states that can't process the words said to them, living in a delusional, embarrassing american daydream like the rest of those animalistic people who are manipulated by others, and that's how some people evolved for a long time - like thralls

& some of them need to be freed, and that involves a lot of hard lessons in the near future, throughout the next century

An estimated one billion excess deaths from climate change by 2100 is a significant amount of people. A hard lesson being taught to us by a higher intelligence that has been guiding the development of our species, teaching many to submit to a higher power - regardless - as I already do - while some "wrong" spiritual practices focus on, always submitting to learn but standing up to certain things that people worship and respect as God or godlike figures, when going through a process of individualization and self realization that many people go through, on their own, in different ways when authority figures aren't limiting them from growing into themselves, something I never had restricting me as I grew into myself

Like that untrained dog my mom dropped on my unmedicated ass, I let her grow into her personality and let her be wild while just, messing with her and having fun with her, until she'd get mad and start screeeaaaaming

She always has a different personality when someone knows her

Maybe it's cause of all of that, and her first drug was Diphenhydramine

She licked my underage at the time :( friends nostril when we snorted ketamine and she didn't tell me. she K Holed, most dogs don't accidentally get psychoactive doses of ketamine ever so lucky her for sniffing that ketamine and deciding she wanted to put that into her body for some reason, bitch was actively seeking things out I swear

Random pills on my floor I knew she would never eat like fish oil or vitamin D

I had to actively make sure no Kratom was on the floor, she always managed to find some and sniffs at the bag if it's nearby. she's a crack dog. my friend called her a crack dog

When I was underage :/ (sigh) I stole oxycodone pills from my friends parents stash, they had tons of surgeries and kept hiding those fucking pills bottles from them ... anyways, they'd be loose in my pockets cuz like ... literally retarded sometimes

that shit fell out, in my house, not once but twice both with the same person, Mathieu

we both freaked out, both times, when we see her tossing a little white pill around and playing with it while wagging her tail, BOTH TIMES enough for it to dissolve in her mouth

Again she would never seek out random vitamins and supplements. but Kratom? oxycodone? ketamine? crack dog

I would never let her do that, but the fact that she ignored other things suggests she knew, like damn

I would never

I would only give my dog nootropics sometimes and longevity treatments never like opioids

bitch was self medicating

All of them eventually, in different ways, hundreds to thousands of years into the future

When tons and tons of people start to develop OCD-like symptoms for some reason due to certain forms of education that will be deemed necessary, and those OCD quirks will be cute to a lot of people when it isn't pathologized and labeled a disorder, when it's more integrated and not dysfunctional - some people just end up with specific ways of doing things when they see the world a certain way

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

Dirty Little Secret

A/N: hello everyoneeee, this is my first oneshot fanfic on tumblr, which is a Rodrick Heffley x gn!reader, i hope u all enjoy!

warnings: cliche, probably words spelled wrong, bad grammer, swearing and thats about it!

----------------------------<3---------------------------------------------

RRRRRRR! Your phone went off, waking you up from your nap. you oponed it to see what it was, seeing a notification from your best friend, Rodrick. The message read;

"WAZZUP Y/N IM HAVING A PARTY AT MY HOUSE 2NIGHTTT

UR GONNA BE THERE RIGHT?? "

You smiled at the text. last time Rodrick tried pulling off a party without his parents knowing, he got into a LOT of trouble, so you kind of felt like warning him about the possible outcome, but decided to let him figure that out on his own. soon enough, you replied with:

"totally my little drummer boy ;))"

You and rodrick had been friends since your freshman year of highschool. you had first met when you saved him from getting his ass kicked, and ever since that day, you had started to grow feelings for him. he just made your heart fllutter, with his stupid little smirks, and the way his hazel eyes would randomly stare you down while in class.

it was all too much, in a good way.

RING RINGGG!

Your thoughts were shattered as you looked down to see an incoming call from Rodrick, sliding right you answered the call. "Hey doll face" said Rodrick through the phone. "Hola yeah boy." you and Rodrick had a little inside thing inspired by the song Yeah Boy And Doll Face by Pierce The Veil. Even though he used that stupid nickname in a sarcastic way, it still made you feel dizzy.

"What are ya up to?" says Rodrick. "Nothing much, what about you?" you reply, "Oh you know, just practicing for the party" Rodrick responds in a cocky tone. "Really? what song are you gonna be playing?" you ask, "Dirty Little Secret of course" said Rodrick. "Sweeeet, want me to come over early to help you set up?" you ask. "Naaaah its fine, thanks tho sugar" again with the nicknames. "Too bad, i'm gonna ask if i can go over" you respond. "Fine fine, i'll see you then Y/n" "adios.''

You then hung up.

After asking your parent if you could go to Rodricks, you threw on some clothes that were suitable for this occasion and headed out. You and Rodrick didn't live that far away from eachother, so you ended up just walking. You knocked on his front door, and soon heard banging footsteps coming from the garage area. "HEy Y/n, come on in" Rodrick said while aking your hand and leading you to his garage. "Hey Y/n" all of Rodricks band members said, they knew you had a thing for Rodrick, it was obvious after all.

"alright Y/n, we need you to be the judge of how we play today" said Rodrick. you nodded.

~Timeskip to after the (horrible) practice~

"So what do ya think Y/n???" rodrick asked, hoping for a positive response. "Um..you guys did good! Everyones gonna love it" you replied, causing Rodrick to nearly jump for joy. "Wait, what time is it?" asked one of Rodricks bandmates. you took your phone out of your pocket to check the time, "6:25" you answer. "OH SHIT EVERYONES GONNA BE HERE IN LIKE 5 MINUTES-" exclaimed Rodrick, only to be cut off by Greg and Rowley walking into the garage. "Whos gonna be here? oh and hi Y/n" Greg says. "None of your beeswax" said Rodrick, which made you lightly punch him in the shoulder. "Rodricks just having a small get together, but dont tell your parents" you said, you were always there to defend Greg from Rodrick being an ass. Greg nodded and went back to his room, Rowley following behind him. After that, everyone rushed to get the lights on and snacks out. soon, you heard a knock at the door, you checked the time; it was already 6:35. You answered the door, seeing multiple people from yours and Rodricks school. by the time it was 6:40, the house was packed with teenagers hoping for an awesome party. you heard the garage door open, making everyone go outside.

There he was, in all his glory, your little emo boy on the cement pavemant of a stage. Except he wasnt in the back with his drums like usual, he was in the front with the microphone. Singing wasnt exactly his forte, judging from what happened with heather hills that one time. He saw you staring and gave you a wink, which you giggled at. excitment filled everyone, as much as Rodricks banned kinda sucked, it was still pretty cool. Soon, the guitarist started, and then the drummer, then the bassist. A wide smiled spread across your face as the started to play the intro to Dirty Little Secret.

"Let me know what I've done wrong, when I've known this all along"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

rodrick (very badly) sang into the microphone, you saw everyone slightly cringe.

"tell me all that you've thrown away"

"Find out games you dont wanna play"

"You are, the only one that needs to knooOOOW"

"I'LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET< AND DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET (just another regret hope that you can keep it) MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

Rodrick sang at the top of his lungs, his bandmates singing the adlibs.

"When we live such fragile lives, its the best way, we survive"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

"Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you dont wanna play"

"You areee, the only one that needs to knooOOOWW"

"I"LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET"

"MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

"THE WAY SHE FEELS INSIDE"

"THOSE THOUGHTS I CANT DENY" "THESE SLEEPING DOGS WONT LIE" "AND ALL I'VE TRIED ITS TEARING ME APART'

"TRACE THIS LINE BAAAACK"

Rodrick saw you in the crowd, and looked deep into your eyes.

"i'll keep you my dirty little secret..dont tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"

"I'LL KeEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTTT DONT TELL ANYoNE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTT WHO HAS TO KNOW? WHO HAS TO KNOOOoW!" Rodricks voice cracked up, which made you giggle. The crowd clapped at the silly performance. Soon after, everyone headed back inside to hang out and party.

You went up to Rodrick and told him how amazing he did. "Thanks Y/n" he said, blushing while looking down. Rodrick turned around and whispered something to his band, which made them smile and walk away. He looked back at you and said "Lets go to my room, yeah?" You silently nod, and follow him up the stairs towards his room.

Rodrick closed the door behind you, and sat you down on his bed.

"Uhm, y/n..i've been wanting to tell you this for a really long time now.." you put your hand on his, trying to calm his nerves, little did you know that made it worse. "i..i love you. i love you so much"

"Rodrick.." Your eyes widen, your cheeks heat up. You find those beautiful hazel eyes stare into yours, until they close of course. You copy Rodricks action and close your eyes. The both of you lean in and share a kiss long awaited. His lips are softer than they look, and he tastes like cherry lip balm. You both pull away and smile, blushing at the thought of what just happened.

"I thought your mom had told you to not kiss anyone with the door closed?" you ask. Rodrick smiles and says,

"I'll just keep it my dirty little secret."

--------------------------------<3-----------------------------------------

A/N: TYSM FOR READINGGG im sorry it took so long to come out, but at least its here now! ty again for reading! have a nice day/night<3

[planetjisungie]

hot dog- n.jm

characters; hufflepuff! jaemin x ravenclaw! reader ft. slytherin! haechan, gryffindor! mark and a surprise hufflepuff guest

summary; jaemin practices a transfiguration spell on a pencil that goes slightly wrong. okay, maybe very wrong.

an; 😭😭 I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS YOU SHOULD ALL BLAME @thenctaddict FOR THIS SHE GAVE ME THE PLOT BECAUSE ORIGINALLY IT WAS SLYTHERIN JAEMIN AND HE WAS GONNA BE A BULLY AND SHZ STRONGLY OPPOSED and im writing this as a bullet point bc for the sake of my sanity

sigh okay so you are super smart ravenclaw™️

like definition of a ravenclaw, a lot of the yonger years looked up to you and came to you if they needed help

your best subject just so happened to be transfiguration

took me a while to spell that one

jaemin was hufflepuff™️

he was also terrible at transfigurations

so when the new year started, you two shared transfigurations class (im starting to get real tired of the word transfigurations)

and you happened to be sat right across from eachother

your best friend eunji sat next to you, she was also hufflepuff™️ super cute wbk

halfway into the lesson you could already see sir na struggling

not that you were staring at him or anything

okay maybe you were

but like no one else had to know that

but its not like you were the only clown in the room staring at someone

eunji sis we see you staring at mark

coincidentally mark sat next to jaemin

thats so iconic omg

anyways the lesson finished and you did good, as always, miss ravenclaw

no need to flex bro

jaemins just sat next to mark with his jaw slack like

"yo how can y/n get this shit?"

"maybe if you stopped daydreaming about her and listened you could pass"

so THAT was why jaemin was failing transfigurations (god help me)

HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED MY COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM I LEFT IN THE FRIDGE

okay so you leave the room to get to lunch with eunji

so you sit down at the ravenclaw table next to your best-ravenclaw-smart-friend renjun

normal lunchtime shit

him choking you for pointing out his obvious crush on the gryffindor girl

but like i said YOU AINT ANY BETTER SIS

like,, oh jaemin has a hair out of place today?

his tie seems a little longer than usual

his shoe laces are uneven

you stare at him THAT much

its a problem and you should fix it

just fucking talk to him

"y/n can you grab my notes from my desk please?"

eunji and her forgetful ass forgetting her herbology notes yet again

this is the 3rd time in the last 2 weeks

eunji get your act together

so you walk to the hufflepuff common room, tapping the correct barrel to get in seeing as you go there so much (you may as well be a hufflepuff (huffleclaw?ravenpuff?))

and would you look at that

literally about ten minutes beforehand jaemin left lunch early to practice the transfiguration spell so he could impress you

bad idea™️

so he lifted his lil wand (my new rapper name) ready to start casting the spell

he was gonna turn a pencil into a macaroni hot dog (oh my)

because?? he wanted to provide for you??

just let the poor cute boy make you a hot dog

your fine ass opens the door just before he finishes the spell

jaemin turns towards you in shock, and horror

you freeze up because why the fuck is he casting a spell at lunch

then there was some sparkly mist idk it smelt like food (yum)

and jaemin panicked

because you disappeared

well you didnt

you were just laying on the floor: in hotdog form

jaemin was HORRIFIED part 2

he nearly screamed and went to go pick you up

"y/n?! can you hear me?! im so sorry!"

rip he thinks all his chances with you are gone

but youre whipped

can you even have consciousness as a hotdog?

this is my blog so we say yes

wtf™️

why are you so small and why the fuck does it reek of macaroni???

also YOU CANT MOVE

scary

but jaemins beautiful face is right in front of you

you cant speak tho because hot dogs dont have mouths sorry science says NO SIR

so you’re literally wondering what the fuck is happening

jaemin is still freaking out

our good friend, slytherin haechan opens the door to the hufflepuff common room

first thing he sees is jaemin? screaming at a hotdog?

"bro what are you doing?"

"this is y/n!"

"...jaemin thats a hotdog"

"NO Y/N IS THE HOTDOG"

panicked af part 2

but hes also slightly amused

so the duo run out of the common room to get help

because you cant stay as a hotdog forever or ? youll go mouldy ? dont know how this works but we move

"mark! eunji!"

so thats why eunji couldnt get her notes

little rat

"jaemin why are you carrying a hotdog?"

i never want to eat a hotdog again

"this is y/n"

"jaemin i know youre whipped for y/n but naming a hotdog after her is a little far

exposed™️

jaemin doesnt know you can hear this

if a hotdog could blush it would be bright red

"no, mark he turned y/n into a hotdog" haechan saved the day by explaining

so the gang spend the rest of the day skipping classes in the library looking for a spell to fix you (by coldplay)

ironic

strangely no one questions the hotdog being preciously carried by jaemin and not even being eaten

apart from renjun

man strolls into the library like the dedicated ravenclaw he is

"what the fuck is happening?"

"jaemin turned y/n into a hotdog" thanks eunji for explaining clearly

panicking part 3

this is getting kinda long wow

the gang finally find a spell with renjuns help

hes a dang godsend

thank lords for giving us a huang renjun

and so jaemin goes to perform the spell

this idea is quickly refuted and mark slams a hand over his mouth

"let me do it, youve already done enough damage to the poor girl"

fair enough

jaemin stands back

mark turns you back into your lil pretty perfect self

thank FUCK

"im human?? IM HUMAN" you smile widely because you know

no longer an edible, perishable item slathered in cheesy pasta

"y/n im so sorry, if theres anything i can do to make up for that"

hmm 😏

"take me on a date"

boom, now jaemin is the edible, perishable item

tomato

and kids, well thats how mum met dad

the end

[second-chance-stray]

(Split Ends) RP Log: Cravs, Riylli, and Rising revisit Baldur in Limsa Lominsa.

Cravendy Hound - After entrusting Baldur, the ill-fated boy, to the healers based in Limsa Lominsa, the trio decided to head back to the company...at Crav's insistence, really. Every extra second spent in the maritime city was a second too much. And so, after taking the aetheryte home, we find the three on the company lawn.

Riylli Aliapoh lets out a stretch as they arrive, a bit groggy from the teleporting. "It's a shame you missed it Cravs, Rising ran in while I was castin' one of my spells and I knocked her a clean 20 fulms in the air!" She said, grinning with a bit too much pride. She then seemed to remember Rising was still there. "...By the way, you okay?"

Rising Lotus was patched up after their encounter as well, her right arm was coating in bandages, along with some other patches along the exposed skin of her body. She winced with each step, the healers picking all the needles from her form and now leaving her body to do the rest of the healer. She merely grumbled as Riylli spoke to her, putting her weight on her spear to take some of it off her leg.

Cravendy Hound: "Magic and melee don't mix, Riylli. But, er, 'ow are ye 'oldin' up, Risin'? That injury ye got looked somethin' fierce."

Riylli Aliapoh rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, taking that as a 'no'. She turned back to Cravs, deciding to ignore the issue like a mature adult. "So... Y'wanna tell us what that was all about? Why're you goin' so far to help this guy's kid?"

Rising Lotus: "...I'll be fine. Kinda a feel like layin' down." she glanced at Riylli, nodding afterwards "Aye. I'm curious 'bout that too."

Cravendy Hound: "I'm still confused 'ow a cactaur of all things made it to La Noscea. Could be a freak accident, but somethin' about it doesn't sit right with me." She sighs in thought, brow knitted and bothered. "....Ah. Uh. I guess I owe ye all an explanation."

Riylli Aliapoh plopped herself down on the step, ready for a story

Cravendy Hound: "Oi, get up! I-I'm not gonna bore ye with all the details," Cravs stammers. "Look. I made a promise to the kid's father. 'is dyin' wish was to see his son grow strong, with his own strength."

Riylli Aliapoh tilted her head. "...Y'know... It aint really his own strength if we had to step in to help... You sure you should be meddlin' like this? I mean, it was just a little cactus thing"

Rising Lotus "...Someone might not want that. I remember the merchant mentionin' somethin' 'bout some folk not carin' for him or his family or somethin'." she shrugs, wincing in pain afterwards "...also cactuar are from Thanalan, don't know how one would of gotten there."

Cravendy Hound nods to Riylli. "I agree, and originally, I just wanted to see if 'e was doin' okay. But this cactaur business...I think someone /else/ is meddlin' with 'im. And if we meddle to remove the meddler, then it'll cancel out, right?"

Riylli Aliapoh 's ears perked up in interest. "Y'mean someone left that cactus out there to take the kid out? Who exactly was this kid's sire? Why's he got so many enemies that would go so far as to try and kill his kid after he's already gone?"

Cravendy Hound shifts in place, heat under the collar. Unusually, she speaks slowly and thoughtfully, as if the wrong word could set off a mine. "Kid's father was a pirate captain, but one with...'onor, I suppose. Steal from the rich, give to the poor. Which lead 'im to rob from the same, powerful set of targets."

Cravendy Hound: "If ye got raided by Captain Thorne, ye didn't -just- lose yer shite. It was a kind of...a mark. A blow to yer pride, and that didn't sit well the rich."

Riylli Aliapoh thinks about this for a moment. "...So if we know who the targets are, why don't we just hop over an' kick their teeth in? Bet that'd gettem to stop messin' with the kid!"

Rising Lotus huffs, closing her eyes tightly for a few moments before glaring at Cravs. "...So what's gonna happen when these powerful targets  learn we're helpin' the kid? Last thing I need is to be marked like the boy, or if they learn we work for Heartwood an' create problems for the others."

Cravendy Hound: "That's step one. Gotta find who's still got it out for the kid, out of a handful of options." She then turns to Rising. "As long as we don't do anythin' illegal we should be alright. And we can threaten to expose 'ow they torment a kid to keep them from doin' anything to us."

Cravendy Hound: "Nothin' illegal, alright? That means even if they're an ass, we can't just kick their teeth in." Cravs lectures to Riylli.

Riylli Aliapoh frowned. "It aint illegal if they're a bad guy! And ain’t kickin' teeth in how pirates settle their differences anyroad?"

Rising Lotus tried to give Cravs a skeptical look, but just ended up grimacing from the shift of posture, then just looked exhausted. "That ain't how it work if you're rich. Can get away with anythin'."

Cravendy Hound: "That's not 'ow the law works! And while that may be 'ow we settle problems on water, on land...under the Admiral's stink eye, we'd probably cause more trouble doin' that."

Cravendy Hound: "The rich still 'ave their pride. I'm thinkin' if word got out that the bugger pesters a goddamn child for 'is late father's legacy, it'd be enough to twist their arm."

Riylli Aliapoh looked to Rising, then to Cravs, and then up to the sky as she let out an exasperated sigh. "...Y'see? This is exactly why we Miqo'te got our own rules..." She grumbled, before finally looking back down. "Fine! We'll do it your way! But if any of 'em tries to swing at me it's fair game, yeah?"

Rising Lotus grumbled, pretty much done with the day. "Well in the case it does go tits up, we can handle ourselves much better than that boy I 'spose."

Cravendy Hound nods. What an exhausting day. "...well. Ye look like ye could use two days worth of sleep, Risin'. That's all I 'ad to say."

Riylli Aliapoh hops to her feet and dusts off her pants. "Alright! Just gimme a shout whenever you get a lead or whatever. Always happy to lend my skills to a good cause!" She flashes Cravs a grin, and very pointedly tries not to look over to the wounded Rising

Rising Lotus "...Aye. You know how to reach us. Though we ought to expect somethin' worse than a cactuar next time." she sighed and started making her way toward the door.

(Cravendy Hound) seems a good place to timeskip to next scene? any last posts and then :P )) (Rising Lotus) I'm good!)) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Timeskip ready! (Cravendy Hound) AAAHH that outfit!!! )) (Cravendy Hound) the blade harness xD )) (Rising Lotus) Oh yeah I don't think you've seen her in it yet!)) (Riylli Aliapoh) (No fair, its so hard to get glams for Riylli ;-; (Cravendy Hound) it looks extremely good )) (Cravendy Hound) *timeskips in same outfit* xD )) (Cravendy Hound) HERE we can at least start in the company so it doesn't feel like, literally seconds after xD )) (Rising Lotus) Guess we'll have to have a fashion montage for Riylli at some point)) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Yknow what, its totally canon that RIylli only has one set of clothes (Cravendy Hound) ahahaha )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Oh, I DO actually have a glamour change! (Rising Lotus) so pick out something new then we can figure out how she got it!)) (Riylli Aliapoh) (alakazam (Rising Lotus) mask (Cravendy Hound) fjkdslf just the gloves?! )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Theyre bandages ^o^ Shes been practicing the fire spell! (Rising Lotus) Damn I thought you were just going to throw that mask on xD))

Cravendy Hound - A week later, Cravs has reached out to Riylli and Rising for company (or maybe help?) again. It's related to the business in Limsa Lominsa, and she's wearing her disguise dress again. Oh boy.

Rising Lotus was eyeing the bandages wrapped around Riylli's hands. "...How's that fire spell going?"

Riylli Aliapoh grins to Rising. "It's goin' well! I got the basic formula down, just gotta work on intensity and duration!" She beams proudly, giving Rising a bandaged thumbs up.

Cravendy Hound: "That...looks painful."

Riylli Aliapoh gives a mock bow. "You gotta suffer for art y'know"

Rising Lotus couldn't help but smirk at Riylli's enthusiasm. "...We'll get it down before you touch anythin' we fish up..or the lava." she turned her attention to Cravs, holding back a snicker at seeing her dolled up again. "You find out more 'bout the boy then?"

Cravendy Hound: "Seems ye got some more sufferin' to do then," Cravs notes in a bright tone.

Cravendy Hound: "Right, the Baldur business - I narrowed it down to a couple of names. But that's as far as I can go gatherin' information out 'ere. Thought it'd be more efficient to ask the kid 'imself. Which means." Cravs gestures to her outfit. "I'll need some escorts to talk for me once we're in Limsa again."

Riylli Aliapoh was clearly enjoying the attention, but quieted down to let Cravs speak. "Why not just talk to the kid as Cravs? If he's lost his sire, it... might be nice for him to know he's still got people close to him out there..."

Rising Lotus "Hmm...'spose maybe she doesn't want him to turn her in for the gil? If he really needs to be supportin' him an' his mom anyway." she shrugged. "Doesn't look like the type to sell out someone who's helpin' him though."

Cravendy Hound went as white as a sheet at the suggestion. "A-ah, that's...Uhh, we've got, um. A misunderstandin' between us. If 'e knew it was me, 'e'd flip out for sure. Trust me, it's easier this way." Cravs clears her throat and then hurries out before Riylli or Rising can ask further.

Cravendy Hound - The trip over is pretty awkward. If the subject was brought up again, Cravs would simply pick up the pace and pretend not to hear. And, once the trio were in Limsa, her lips were sealed, clarification frustratingly out of reach. That said, she was definitely walking somewhere with purpose.

Rising Lotus gave up askin' fairly quick, she knew she wouldn't get anywhere at the moment. She'd pry it out of her later though, one way or another. "So... you know what he'll be up to today? Or you jus' hopin' we run into him?"

Riylli Aliapoh wouldn't bring it up again, at the very least smart enough to see Cravs didn't want to talk about it. Instead, she would offer fun facts of things she had learned so far in her research. "...So, did you guys know that a forge runs hotter than lava?"

Cravendy Hound mimes holding something heavy and swinging it around. And to Riylli's fact, she gives the miqo'te a doubting look. Really?

Riylli Aliapoh nods. "Yeah! Turns out lava is only like... half as hot as your average blacksmith forge! It aint even hot enough to melt iron! Makes my job easier, but it's kinda disappointin' y'know?"

(Riylli Aliapoh) (Thank you for subscribing to Lava Facts)

Cravendy Hound desperately wants to ask if that's how Riylli has been testing her fire shield spell - by dunking her hands in a forge. Cravs moves her hands around as if dipping them in something.

Riylli Aliapoh tilts her head, unable to figure out the mimicry. "Can't you like... at least whisper or somethin' when were alone? Surely they don't got ears everywhere?"

Cravendy Hound looks around and finds it acceptably empty. "Did ye dunk yer 'ands in the forge to test yer spell?!" She whisper-yells.

Rising Lotus narrowed her eyes at Cravs "...So he's... carrying somethin'.. then puttin' it in the oven?" she seemed to be combining the conversations. Then Cravs actually spoke. "Oohh you're talkin' 'bout that. I hope you didn't do that, use a fire or somethin' first Riylli."

Riylli Aliapoh blinks at her. "What? You crazy? What if the spell failed?" She said, shaking her head. "Nah, I've been usin' a campfire! Got a problem with the magic runnin' out too fast though..." She muttered, rubbing her poor cooked hands

Cravendy Hound stifles back laughter, and pats Riylli on the back. There there.

Rising Lotus: "I can get ya some cream for that. Know a gobbie that makes some quality stuff. Don't worry it works too, used it after gettin' a nasty burn from some giant bug sparyin' me with gunk."

Riylli Aliapoh grumbles and glares up at Cravs at the treatment, but lets it slide since she couldn't tell if it was meant to be mocking or not. "...That'd be great, thanks. I don't gotta pay for it, right?"

Cravendy Hound: "Bug....gunk? Bug gunk...That sounds. Hm." Cravs raises a brow at Rising but doesn't say more.

Rising Lotus "Well I ought to considerin' how you made me a pin cushion on our last outin' together." she snickered a bit, the first time she cracked a joke about it. "But nah, he owes me one anyhow. Next time I'm up there I'll grab ya some." she gave Riylli a firm pat on the back.

Riylli Aliapoh grumbled again, but couldn't really argue back. "...Thanks." She muttered, not exactly enthused about all this back-patting she was receiving

Cravendy Hound had earlier given Rising a notepad with names written in it. One of them, hopefully, belonged to the person who was harassing the kid. Her heels clicking on the docks, Cravs would eventually lead the little crew to a dusty corner of Limsa where the kid (B) was presently practicing his form with the ax.

Cravendy Hound - The heavy ax is far too big for the kid. Every swing pulls him comically forward with the weapon. He stops his 'practice' and looks up at the approaching trio with a wide smile. "I remember you two! You helped me with that monster the other day."

(Cravendy Hound) more back pats )) (Cravendy Hound) i demand more )) (Rising Lotus) I feel like Riylli and Rising would have back pats that would eventually devolve into a hitting contest)) (Cravendy Hound) actually cravs and rising would have to squat down to pat Riylli's back ahah - otherwise it'd be a head pat )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Cravs and Rising know it's too dangerous to headpat Riylli, they'd probably get bit (Cravendy Hound) sometimes my tall friends would use my head as an arm rest.....annoyed me, and yet I can see Cravs doing that to Riylli lmao )) (Rising Lotus) I've done that to my shorter friends before xD))

Riylli Aliapoh perked up as she got recognized by the kid, offering him a friendly wave. "Hey! How are you holdin' up after all them needles?"

Rising Lotus watches the boy fling himself with his strikes, smirking with every swing.  "Aye that was us." she eyed up his weapon for a few moments. "You ought to get somethin' a bit lighter by the way, gonna leave yourself open if you take too long liftin' your weapon."

Cravendy Hound - The kid bashfully itches the tip of his nose. "I'm doing fine, thanks to you all...Woke up on the softest bed I've ever been on in my life, healing expenses all covered." Baldur's eyes drift over to Cravs, and then back to Riylli and Rising. "Oh, I plan to! I'm just using this old thing because it was the only thing I could afford. Once I earn enough, I'll buy a better one...after everything else, haha."

Cravendy Hound turns away, avoiding eye contact. It's overkill given that she's wearing a mask.

Rising Lotus eyed Cravendy, she had to pay for the needle removal out of her pocket. "...well I'm sure them healers were excited for the chance to de-needle someone. Don't see many cactuar over here after all, bit strange." she nodded as he brought up upgrading his armor and weapon. "A good set of armor is jus' as important as a good weapon, smart thinkin'."

Riylli Aliapoh nudged Rising with her foot to try and bring her back to the task at hand, snatching the list out of her hands. "Hey, so... Were kinda lookin' into something, think you might be able to help us out? You know any of the names on this list?"

Cravendy Hound - Baldur nods enthusiastically, dreads bouncing on top of his head. Admiration for Rising and Riylli is practically gushing from every inch of the kid. "So that was a cactaur? I've never seen one before."

Cravendy Hound - Baldur snaps into attention. "Oh, right away! I'd be thrilled to help you two out. Let's see..." He takes the list and scans it. "Only this last one. Mindred Rot. She's who I go to if I need a loan."

Rising Lotus "Aye, I grew up 'round them, used to hit them with sticks then ru-" she glanced at Riylli as she bumped her and had the list snatched away.

(Cravendy Hound) dfsd hit them with sticks and run???? chaos child )) (Rising Lotus) She didn (Rising Lotus) didn't have toys or anything xD Played with bugs and lizards and cactuars))

Riylli Aliapoh raised her eyebrow at the name. "...'Mindred Rot'? Well that's a bad guy name if I've ever heard one." She said, nodding along until she remembered Cravs' full name. "Er... Right, anyroad, what's she like? If she lends you money she can't be that bad, right?"

(Riylli Aliapoh) (Poor riylli about to learn the horrors of capitalism)

Cravendy Hound - Baldur smiles as he hands the list back to Riylli. "Oh, yeah, her name's pretty rotten. But in some ways...she looks after me. No one else'll give my family loans."

Rising Lotus "You need to get out of the woods more..." she shook her head at Riylli's comment. She hummed at Baldur's words about the woman. "Hmm, how generous of her."

Riylli Aliapoh wrinkled her nose. "Honestly I'd rather get out of the woods less... How in the world do you lot handle that salt in the air?"

Cravendy Hound - Baldur's gaze wanders to Rising's axe, and then to Riylli's staff. "So, you two must be adventurers, huh? You think you could teach me a thing or two? Punch better, smarter, harder? Oh, and! I didn't mean to be rude." He turns to Cravs. "Who's your friend?"

Rising Lotus Grinned, giving him a nod. "Aye! Do a lot of guard an' merc work. Takin' me all over, mostly back an' forth between Idyllshire an' places though. This one is still gettin' her footin' for it though." she snickered a bit as she eyed Riylli. "Oh, an' that's Singin' Gull. She's uh...a great singer an' has to save her voice most the time. We're guardin' her on her...singing journey?"

Riylli Aliapoh puffed her chest out. "Yup! Name's Riylli, Warrior of Earth!" she declared proudly, possibly forgetting Cravs and Rising were in earshot. "I'm a master of earth magic, but I'm sure I could give you some tips! Oh, and this is..." She trails off, staring at Cravs as her mind blanks on what her alias was. Thankfully Rising was there to have her back, though the Roegadyn still earned herself a glare from her little comment

Cravendy Hound 's frown twitches slightly. Singing Gull the Singer. Really? But she goes along with it anyway.

Cravendy Hound - Baldur's mouth forms an 'o' in awe. "Idyllshire? Never even heard of the place. Sounds cool though...And magic? How would I even start?" He turns back for a second to rest his rusty axe against a crate, and then hops right back into the conversation. "Like, just think really hard and magic happens? Hrrrghhhh.."

Riylli Aliapoh shook her head at the kid. "Nah, it aint that simple. It's more like... Y'know how you can move your fingers with your mind? You basically do that, but you move your aether about instead, and get THAT aether to move the aether OUTSIDE of you, and... Honestly I might not remember all the lessons, it's kinda just a reflex at this point. But you shouldn't be wastin' your talents on magic anyroad! You're a highlander right? You're gonna have plenty of muscle when you grow up, you should use-

Riylli Aliapoh -that instead!"

Rising Lotus could talk for hours about Idyllshire, but she resisted and tried to steer the conversation back on topic, which of course meant giving Riylli a light smack to the arm to get her to focus up. "Anyway, you know were we could find this Rot lady? Gull here is lookin' for gil for her next performance an' were hopin' to find some donations."

Cravendy Hound - Baldur is trying so hard to follow Riylli's explanation, but it leaves the poor kid's brain all tangled. "Huh, what? Huh? Uhh, oh, you want to meet Miss Rot? She's usually really busy so I have to schedule in advance. But I can ask if she's free to meet you all next time."

Riylli Aliapoh sighs. "Y'mean we gotta come all the way out here again..? Fine, I guess... Not like we can just go kick the doors down and demand to talk to her after all..." She muttered, offering a small glare to Cravs out of the corner of her eye

Rising Lotus cleared her throat, glaring at Riylli as she glared at Cravs "We'd appreciate that, jus' say that..uh..an up an' comin' singer is lookin' for fundin'. " she gave Baldur a nod, hoping that selling Cravs like that would make her the perfect target for a loan shark.

Cravendy Hound looks similarly annoyed, but shakes her head no to Riylli. It's not like they could go in there with wild accusations anyway - seemed worth strategizing over first.

Cravendy Hound - With the night fast approaching, Cravs motions with her hand to signal her intention to head home. Without bothering to wave goodbye to Baldur, she walks on ahead.

Rising Lotus watches Crav hurry away. "Uh sorry..." she put her hand to her mouth to muffle her words "Sort of a diva that one. Good luck out there lad!" she gave him a thumbs up before hurrying after 'Singing Gull'.

Riylli Aliapoh sighed once for not being allowed to rampage mindlessly, then once more as Cravs walked away without saying bye to the kid. She offers Baldur a wave. "You keep practicin' okay? We'll come by and see you again later, and maybe I'll share some of my adventurin' secrets with you!"

Cravendy Hound is a good distance ahead. As she passes by a stranger, there's some kind of odd collision that ends up tripping Cravs. Her mask drops off and rolls a few ilms forward as the stranger awkwardly, but quickly, makes their escape without even a sorry.

Cravendy Hound scrambles to recover the headware and fasten it back on. By the time Riylli and Rising have caught up, she's still kneeled over on the floor, troubled.

Riylli Aliapoh pretty much has to run to keep up with Cravs' long-legged walking, blinking in confusion as she notices her state. "H-Hey, you alright?"

Rising Lotus hurries to catch up to Cravs, quickly stepping in front of her to shield her face as she glanced around. "Aye..did you know that man or somethin'?"

Cravendy Hound: "I'm fine. Rattled is all." She whispers as she wobbles back up and takes a deep breath. ".....no, I didn't recognize them."

Rising Lotus looked around at the few bystanders eyeing the scene. "Maybe it'd be best to get out of here...before there's a chance to cause more of a scene." she said the last part in a whisper. Last thing they needed was the yellow jackets upon them.

Riylli Aliapoh raises her arm up seemingly to try to comfort her, only to hesitate and lower it back down. "...Let's talk outside of the city, all this salt is starting to make me sick..." She says, awkwardly attempting to give Cravs an out

Cravendy Hound: "...Right. No point in worrying about it now. Let's just get out of 'ere." She mutters.

[tt205]

You have a crush on WANG?![1/?]

WANG YIBO × READER HAPPY POTTER AU!

Request: could you do Yibo x You au? The houses don't matter , something cliche like "yibo cool guy and sweet girl " where yibo realizes he really likes her , something like that . [ I dont have your permission to put your name here but if you want me to I will upload your name in another post for the credits ]

WARNINGS: none just my bad English and maybe a kiss or two nothing too much .. pretty fluffy pretty cute ~ somewhat relatable I could say

Classmates to lovers

It was your 6th year in Hogwarts when you first started realizing your feelings for Wang Yibo , a young witcher from Slytherin.

You always did think of him as someone cute and lovable , but his somehow frigid image made you keep your feelings low for him .

You shared a couple of classes together and even thought he'd never talked to you , apart from greeting you , you had a familiarity among each other.

Two weeks have passed since the day you first threw your eyes on him in a different way & now you can't take him out of your mind.

Staring at his handsome face made your heart skipping a beat .

You rested your head on your right hand looking towards him without shame . "Ahh" you sighed making Hermione shake you out of your lovey-dovey dreamland

" What on the bloody hell are you doing y/n? Stop staring on Wang and pay attention to the lesson !" She half whispered half yelled to you making professor Snape glare at you two .

You bowed your head apologizing as you straightened in your seat, gaining your composure.

------------->

Soon enough the bell rang and the next second you where out of the boring classroom.

Looking down to your things you realized you left your book back

"Stay here for a moment Mione I'm heading back in , I'll be quick " you told her before increasing your pace through the hallways.

Not paying attention to your surroundings you entered the door only to come in contact with a strong torso.

You looked upwords to the person in front of you only to meet with the eyes of your heart shaker Wang Yibo.

"Are you ok ? " he asked , lowering his head to your height

"I'm so sorry , I'll be careful next time" you bowed your head avoiding his eyes , your cheeks turning a deep shade of red as you made your way in grabbing your book and running your way out .

You rushed to the garden , meeting Hermione which was talking with Draco and Harry.

"You wont believe what happened!" You shouted to them , your breath unstable from all the running.

The three of them turned to you giving you a knowledgeable look while opening their 'circle' for you to enter .

You sat there hiding your head in your hands the embarrassing moment flashing in your head again and again .

"I bumped onto Wang Yibo" you said in a low tone regretting the moment you left your book in class

" What's the big deal with that Y/n ?" Harry asked concerned " he looks like a good guy " he continued.

"She has a crush on him you dumbo!" Hermione slapped him on the shoulder.

Draco's eye widened "you like WANG YIBO?" he screamed making Mione shut his mouth with a quick spell .

'Mmmmmm!' Draco complained but no one pitied him ... all of sudden you heard quick footsteps coming to your spot and turning around you saw Ron with a stuffed mouth full of candies and a bag full of them in one hand too.

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON WANG Y/N" he asked , some syllables muffled in between .

"Where did you hear that Ron Weasley?" You asked panicking ,

"Em .. I guess the whole school knows is it now thanks to this screaming crackhead" he answered pointing to Draco .

" MALFOY IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS AND FEED YOU TO A DRAGON !" you shouted falling back to the floor not caring about how dusty your cloak will be after this .

----------------->

Days passed by with you skipping the classes you had with Yibo , too embarrassed to meet him now that half and more of the students number knew your feelings towards him .

Some of the Slytherin's members teased you about it at first but Draco was there to cut it short .. it was the least he could do as an apology .

You were so frustrated and sad you didn't have the energy to even go have breakfast , just attending some classes , studying and then straight to sleep .

Someone would say that this wasn't a big deal but having your parents working at the ministry of magic and his been death eaters , it wasn't ideal .. if your parents knew about your feelings towards him you were dead .

Today is Saturday < a good day to go have a butter beer > said Hermione.

You didn't want to go there too tired to even pick up your wand but they dragged you there .

And here you are sitting in one of the 'Three Brooms ' table with your stupid friends in each side of yours .

Half an hour has passed since you arrived here and the 5 of you have ate a bunch of things while chatting about the week that passed and other random information. You feel someone behind you and at the same time Draco sits up to greet him .

"Hey Wang what's up?" He asks and your blood freezes. You grab Hermione's hand under the table and she gives you a reassuring smile , motioning for you to greed him and that's what you do .

Yibo shakes your hand before hugging you slightly "may I have a brief moment with you y/n?" He whispers in your ear and he is close , the smell of his cologne feeling your lungs making you lightheaded along with a sweet smile he gives you .

You nod your head moving off your seat and smoothing your clothes on the go , breath stuck in your throat.

He moves a hand behind your lower back moving you in the hallway that leads in the toilets. "I -i " he begins but cuts himself in between something bothering him "Would you like ehm- would you like to go on a date with me ?"

He asks his voice cracking a little in the middle of the sentence, ears blushing a bit as he moves a hand on the back of his neck rubbing the area from the tension .

Your eyes widen first but you are quick to hide your surprise with a brief " yes " as an answer taking him by surprise too "really?" He asks and you repeat your words only to be awarded by another smile of his .

------------->

Almost a week passed since then and today came along with a date that you could only dream of .

You can't even believe that you are sitting in front of him , eyes filled with joy and excitement, the rustic decor of Madam Puddifoot's cafe adding to the romance overwhelmed moment .

He is holding your hand and your heart can't stop skipping beats at the sight of him .

You know it's wrong to be with him but still you like him .

Laughter and smiles is filling your time together but both of you know you have to return back in Hogwarts.

You will have to take the last carriage to return back and you dont have much time .

He opens the door for you and you step out of the small shop leaving back its warmth .

Cold air hits your face the next second and you close your eyes sifting more in your long thick coat moving your hands in your pockets in an attempt to keep them warm .

The sky is paint in the darkest shade of blue signaling that you must hurry up .

You reach for Yibo but he is quicker moving his arms around your shoulders keeping you close .

A soft kiss on top of your head is all it takes to move the negative thoughts off your head , walking through the snow covered streets of Hogsmaede.

---------->

The way back seems long as your eyes feel heavier leaning onto Yibo's shoulder.

The carriage's interior is cold , the snow outside making the perfect fairytale scene.

You feel Yibo's hand touching yours an taking it in his grasp.

You feel his eyes on you and you look up meeting them , the look peaceful.

He suddenly leans closer and your lips momentarily touch .

You kiss back moving your body closer to his , he moves a hand behind your neck keeping you still and the whole room seems spinning as the temperature rises .

Both of your eyes are closed , lips occupied but you feel like talking through the kiss .

After a good moment you both pull back regaining your breaths and both of you are starring in each others eyes again.

"I know that this is rushed to ask and may seem childish but , will you be my girlfriend? " he begins and you blush hard " I've been thinking about asking you out months ago but j was afraid of been rejected.. knowing that you have feelings for me -thanks to Draco- was the thing that motivated me . If you think I'm rush--"

" I do ! I do wanna be your girlfriend" you rushed it out in one breath giggling in the end.

"if you regret something I can wait I promise!" He continues getting shy after a moment or so ..

"Dont make me take my words back !" You whisper in his ear , only to be drugged in a tight hug .

" I can't say I love you yet cause it's really rushed and both of us know it , but what I can say for sure is that I've never liked someone more like you y/n ... give me some time and I'll love you the same way " he adds kissing your hand and looking at you with those piercing eyes of his that can melt the coldest heart , and can tame the most untamed soul ~~~

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

[darkblueboxs]

howdy i love your aftg writing!! here’s a concept: i feel like once neil’s past is out, he has no reason to hesitate absolutely sucker punching someone. like we know he made neil a pushover because it raises less questions, but now that everyone knows who he is im SURE he’s just bitch slapped someone mid-game. no holding back, like if u say something fucked up he’s just gonna try to kill you!! do you know who this man is?? there’s no doubt in my mind that he knows some quick and lethal punches!

Oh yes, anon. Bruiser!Neil I can DEFO get behind. 

Here’s 3k of Neil punching stuff, and Andrew being wildly turned on by it. Read here or on AO3 (Check AO3 notes for content warnings, etc.)

*Edit* : In the original version of this fic, Nicky faces racist abuse in addition to homophobic abuse, and quotes the offensive language and slurs used against him. After concerns were raised regarding how I handled this abuse (specifically, the language used, the context in which the abuse takes place, and my position as a non-latine) I censored and subsequently removed the relevant dialogue. I sincerely apologise and promise to do better in the future. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions and concerns regarding this subject.

[01/06/2020]

All the Guys Love a Bruiser

Neil’s mother taught him how to throw a punch, of course she did. Their lessons took place anywhere spacious enough to swing a fist, in empty parking lots behind greasy gas stations or in dingy motel rooms if she thought the walls were thick enough to cover up the noises they made.

Mary had always been more flight than fight, an instinct she had forced into Neil over years of running. Even she had to admit, however, that sooner or later they would hit a dead end, and while that would spell certain death for both of them, it would be better to go down fighting than it would on their knees.

If their lessons ended with Neil aching black and blue, it was his own fault. He needed to be quicker, smarter, crueller. More like his mother.

Matt’s teaching style is different from Mary’s, as is his fighting style. It bears the hallmarks of professional athleticism, all stances and positioning and strategy. While his mother’s idea of a lesson in self-defence was to hit Neil until he figured out how to dodge her blows or hit back, Matt talks him through how to angle his body, how to make a fist in a way that won’t break his fingers. At the end of their first boxing lesson, the only bruises on Neil’s body are the light purple spreading across his knuckles.

That evening, he and Andrew take over the beanbags, TV muted in the background while they dig into ice-cream. The tub is pleasantly cool in Neil’s hands, and he rubs his knuckles against the sides like an improvised icepack. When the residual cold has melted away, Neil flexes his fingers, enjoying the faint tingle dancing across them. These marks are different from those his mother gave him; they weren’t inflicted on him unwillingly but earned with sweat and exertion. When Matt had let go of the punching bag and told him they were done for the day, Neil had been surprised by his own disappointment. He had never been sorry see the end of his mother’s lessons.

Andrew takes his hand suddenly, startling Neil from his thoughts. It’s a purely analytical touch; he turns Neil’s hand over and runs a finger across the blossoming bruises of his knuckles.

Neil bites back the I’m fine, knowing the look it would earn him. Instead he says, “I had fun. We’re meeting again next week.”

Andrew nods. It’s a few moments more before he relinquishes Neil’s hand, however. The heat of Andrew’s skin mingles with the singing twinge of Neil’s bruises like an after-print.

Next week, Andrew slouches into the gym after Neil. He ignores Matt’s invitation to join them, flopping onto a rowing machine and leaning back against the machinery so he can kick his feet up on the seat rail. They’re lucky that they chose unsociable hours for their workout, or a line of athletes would be forming to glare at him.

Andrew watches them train from across the room with apparent disinterest. He can feign boredom all he likes; Neil knows he wouldn’t have bothered following him to the gym without reason.

Matt, if anything, seems amused by Andrew’s presence. “Dan comes to watch me practice sometimes, too.” He pauses to correct the angles of Neil’s feet before nudging his arms into blocking positions. “She did it even before we started dating. She used to sit on an exercise bike and pretend she was cycling so I wouldn’t know she was there to watch me. It was never very convincing.”

“Why did she want to watch you?” Neil shifts his weight, trying to copy Matt’s position.

Matt’s face crinkles up with laughter. “That’s the most Neil thing you’ve ever said.”

“Everything I say is a Neil thing.”

“She liked it when I took my shirt off. C’mon, man, join the dots.”

“You don’t take your shirt off to box.”

“Yeah,” says Matt. “Don’t tell her that.”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Can I hit you now?”

Matt barks out a laugh, and training resumes.

“Enjoying the show?” Neil asks Andrew an hour later, dropping down on the gym mat next to him. Andrew hands Neil his water bottle with an unimpressed look.

“You’re awful.” Andrew flicks a look over to Matt, who is using their break to chat with the only other gym regular insane enough to be working out at the crack of dawn on a Sunday. “He could knock you on your ass with one right hook.”

“I know I’m awful. That’s what training is for.” Neil pauses to gulp down most of the bottle. A droplet escapes his lips and tracks down his jugular before falling into the dip of his clavicle. Andrew’s eyes track its path. “Matt isn’t going to hurt me. Is that what you’re worried about?”

“I’m not here to babysit you.”

“Huh.” Neil drains the last of the water before shaking the residual droplets over his head. The beads glint in the corners of his vision as they catch in his bangs and fleck his cheeks, mercifully cooling against his skin. Andrew is still watching him intently. His eyes flick to Matt once more, checking that he is still absorbed in his conversation.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Neil replies, and he watches as Andrew takes Neil’s hand in his. The skin is flushed from strike after strike, not yet coloured in bruising patches but soon to be. Neil’s hands feel softer for it, sensitive to Andrew’s touch.

“I know my limits.” Neil isn’t sure why the gym suddenly feels three degrees warmer. “Really, it doesn’t hurt.”

“I know. I trust you.” Andrew sends one more look over Neil’s shoulder like he’s checking the coast is clear before pressing Neil’s knuckles to his lips.

The breath Neil was in the process of catching slips from his grasp entirely. “Oh.”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“You like watching me fight.”

“It’s more interesting than watching you run.”

Neil leans in until he can see each individual freckle on Andrew’s cheeks. “Interesting?”

Andrew’s cool look is betrayed by the twitch of his jaw. “Something like that.”

If Matt notices Neil’s new vigour when they return to practice, he doesn’t comment on it. When he catches Neil’s eye, however, he grins knowingly. Perhaps Matt’s conversation had not been as absorbing as he made it out to be. Soon, however, the rhythm of the exercise draws Neil’s attention back to the task at hand.

Neil first learned to throw a punch because his mother believed that one day his life could depend on it. That isn’t the reason that he has resumed his training with Matt; it turns out that a good instructor and fewer death threats make the activity far more pleasant than Neil remembers. It may be a useful skill, but he values the challenge more than he does the practicality. The physicality, too – in fact, he likes boxing for the same reasons that he loves Exy. Quick, brutal, thrilling. He finally understands, too, why Andrew likes to spar with Renee whenever his emotions get on top of him. There’s a certain a sense of control that comes from putting his fist through a break-board. Not that he needs the empowerment as much as he once might have – most of Neil’s tormentors were killed long ago, his fears with them. Given his new life of safety and security, it’s likely that he’ll never really need to know how to throw a good punch.

It takes all of one week for Neil to be proven wildly, wildly wrong.

Opposition strikers – with one glaring, now very dead exception – are not typically Neil’s problem. Generally, if they end up playing on the same side of the court as him, something has gone wrong in the team’s strategies.

He can tell even from a distance, however, that one of the Terrapin strikers is causing difficulties. Not in terms of ability – of which Terrapin’s #13 has little – but in attitude. Thirteen is a vocal player, and Neil can hear snatches of his voice echoing across the court. No fists have been swung, which is an impressive feat for the Fox defenders, but perhaps only because the luck of substitutions has put Thirteen against Nicky more than anyone else, and Nicky is more likely to react to insults with mirth than anger.

Shortly before the end of the first half, Nicky is subbed off at the same time as Thirteen. Nicky passes Neil on the way to the court doors, clacking their racquets together with half a smile. “Give them hell, Neil.”

Thirteen passes them at the same moment, slamming Nicky’s shoulder as he passes. Nicky mutters a word under his breath that would have earned him a month of washing-up duty at Abby’s house before heading for the Foxes’ bench. Neil watches him go, eyebrows creasing together. Nicky isn’t easily upset by the cruelty of strangers; it’s the cruelty that comes from within his own family that is most likely to shake him from his good humour. The barbed insults of nameless players on the court, on the other hand, are usually brushed off with a rude gesture and no more.

Swept up in the rush of the match, Neil forgets about Nicky’s discomfort until half-time. The team pours from the court in high spirits; they have a decent lead over the Terrapins which should carry them through the second half when exhaustion starts to kick in. Nicky, despite having blocked more shots on goal than anyone, reacts to the arrival of the rest of the team with only a pallid grin. His grip on his water bottle is tight, and the cheap plastic crackles and caves in his hands.

Nicky is an easy read, and it doesn’t take long for the other Foxes to notice. After he brushes Renee’s concerned enquiry off, however, the team leaves him be.

When Neil returns to the court for the start of the third quarter, he breathes a sigh of relief to see that Thirteen is nowhere near Nicky. He’s standing closer to goal than Neil is happy with, but Andrew is more or less impervious to verbal abuse and Thirteen has yet to show signs of physical violence. As much as he wants to keep a closer eye on the situation, Kevin’s barked commands draw his attention to the match at hand. The best thing Neil can do for the Foxes’ defence is to spend as much time lobbing the ball at the Terrapin’s goal as possible.

Neil and Nicky are substituted at the same time; they collapse onto the bench and drown their exhaustion in Gatorade. Thirteen crushed Nicky against the wall moments before the substitution, and Nicky is uncharacteristically quiet as Abby examines the cut over his eye.

“You’re not whining about cramping your style,” she says as she presses a plaster in place. “Should I be worried?”

“Nah, this is great for my style. All the guys love a bruiser.” Nicky winks despite the blood crusting in his eyelashes. “Neil knows what I’m talking about, don’tcha, Neil?”

Abby makes a noise that isn’t convinced, but doesn’t press the issue. Neil waits until she’s out of earshot before saying casually, “I still have a few contacts in the mafia.”

“Your sense of humour is dire,” says Nicky, but he’s grinning, so Neil counts it as a win. “Don’t worry about it. I think Andrew’s drawing his fire now. Andrew handles that kind of thing a lot better than me.”

“What kind of thing?”

Nicky winced. “Don’t ask.”

“Tell me.”

“Let's just say he isn't exactly lining up to lead a Pride march.” Nicky snorts humorlessly.

The joke doesn’t land, and not because of Neil’s non-existent sense of humour. He may not be as obvious as Nicky in his preferences nor as dark-skinned, but he has still been on the receiving end of enough of that brand of bullshit to know how it scratches at one’s insides.

“I wasn’t joking about those contacts.”

Nicky sighs. “I was worried you would say that.”

Neil’s attention keeps slipping from the game and over to Andrew, who is standing in goal and ignoring the tirade of insults being thrown his way like a statue facing down a breeze. His non-reaction only seems to stoke Thirteen’s fury, spittle catching in the mesh of his helmet as he watches Andrew knock yet another attempt away from the Foxes’ end.

Andrew spares Thirteen no more than a second of blank indifference in the face of his tirade. Then he drops his stance, shoulders setting into a silent challenge that sends a hot bolt of excitement straight Neil’s to gut. Andrew is locking down the goal.

The Terrapins don’t score again for the rest of the match.

Neil is through the doors before the final buzzer has died, charging into the crush of Foxes at centre-court to join in their celebrations. Andrew, as usual, hovers at the edge of the throng, but he accepts the clack of Neil’s racquet against his. A light sheen of sweat dances across Andrew’s forehead and his lips are parted as he regains his breath after the exertion of locking the Terrapins out.

“Did Thirteen give you trouble?”

Andrew snorts derisively despite his breathlessness. “He tried.”

Neil gets to see Thirteen up close during the handshakes. He barely grazes the tips of each Foxes’ fingers as he passes one by one, but he stops when he gets to Neil. “I remember you. You were all over the news, weren’t you? The runaway Wesninski.” His expression speaks to his delight at the revelation. To no-one’s surprise, Thirteen is a sore loser.

Andrew barely moves, just a slight adjustment to his footing so that he presses a little closer into Neil’s shoulder.

Neil smiles. It is the kind of smile he has not had use for in some time. “Looking for an autograph?”

Thirteen snorts. “Bet you think you’re real bad. Bet you think those scars make you look tough. Too bad you’re still a puny little bitch.”

Neil flexes his hand before clenching it into a fist. “I do think I’m real bad, actually. Want to find out why?”

The striker waits for the hit to come. Neil doesn’t give him the satisfaction; the guy is a piece of shit, but he isn’t worth the trouble he’s clearly looking for. Neil drops his hands, meets his gaze, and waits for him to give up on getting his reaction and leave.

Most of the other players are moving off to their own respective sides, and their stand-off is beginning to attract attention. Kevin squints over at them, and at his side, Aaron pulls off his helmet.

“Oh shit. Twins.” Thirteen’s gaze swings from Aaron to Andrew, flashing with sudden recognition. “I remember you too.” His expression turns sharkish. “Now that was a story. So, which one is the murderer, and which is the brother-fucker?”

Andrew barely twitches. Neil’s reaction is less restrained.

It’s almost a play-by-play of decking Riko at the Winter Banquet.  The key difference between that punch and this one is hours of training with a borderline-professional boxer.

Neil squares his stance, draws back his fist, and puts his whole body behind the punch. He’s rewarded with the sickening crack of a nose breaking and a hot spurt of blood splattering his knuckles.

Thirteen staggers back, shock registering for a second before he spits blood at the floor. He’s swaying on his feet, but there’s still fight in his eyes.

Andrew’s hands go to his sheaths, but Neil waves him back. He wipes the hand bloodied by Thirteen’s face across his jaw unthinkingly, feels the wet, red heat clinging to his skin. “Hey. This one’s mine.” The smile he tacks onto the words is toothier than he means it to be. With blood still smeared across his chin, he can only imagine how he looks.

Andrew’s hand judders to a halt at the hems of his armbands. His jaw is clenched tight but roaring over the current of concern is something far darker. It creeps into his eyes, a weight to his gaze normally only visible in the privacy of their bedroom. Andrew’s gaze runs the length of Neil’s body before coming to rest on Neil’s mouth. His bottom lip catches momentarily in his teeth as he nods.

Thirteen’s first swing hits, and a burst of blood dances across Neil’s tongue as his lip is split open. Thirteen’s luck ends there; Neil blocks his second punch with a move Matt taught him the day before. He drives his free hand into Thirteen’s solar plexus, knocking the air from him.

Neil doesn’t get much time to appreciate how the striker falls on his ass as they’re rushed by teammates and officials who break them apart.

Neil stands placidly before Wymack and bears his row with the bare minimum of decorum. The lecture is undercut by Nicky, who’s expression alternates between elation, amusement and mock disapproval from moment to moment. Matt, at least, waits until Wymack is finished before applauding.

“I’ll give you some notes later, but all things considered it was a solid right hook.”

Neil brushes the team’s reactions off as best he can; he certainly didn’t do it for their recognition.

He takes his time showering, watching with a strange, sick pleasure as he rinses the striker’s blood away. It turns pink in the shower basin before swirling at last down the drain. Beneath the blood, Neil’s knuckles have begun to bruise, satisfaction burning them blue.

It’s at these times that Neil worries that he may have inherited too much from his father; the temper, the violence, the bloodlust. Then again, they all served as tools to his survival at one point or another. The key difference between Neil and his father is who they choose to turn their anger on. Neil’s father always set his sights on the underdog. Neil prefers to punch up.

No; if there’s one thing Nathan gave him, it was a distaste for bullies.

There’s a familiar tap at the door to Neil’s stall. The rest of the Foxes cleared out some time ago, still rowdy from the post-match high. Tonight was a home game; most of the team will be halfway back to Fox tower already, thinking only of booze and the weekend stretching ahead of them. There’s only one player who would have any reason to linger.

Andrew steps under the spray, his hair is plastered to his head by the steamy drizzle. He holds his hand out, and Neil offers his without question for Andrew’s inspection.

Andrew’s voice is dispassionate as he inspects the damage. “I don’t need a knight in shining armour. Nor for you to fight my battles for me.”

“The fight was for my own satisfaction. But I’ll stop if you want me to.”

Once again, Andrew presses his lips to Neil’s raw knuckles. The contact stings, sweet and savoury, pleasure and pain. “Would it kill you to make life easy for once?” The words tingle against the tender skin.

“I thought you liked to watch me fight.”

“Just because I find your stupidity entertaining doesn’t mean I encourage it.”

“It’s my stupidity you like, is it?”

“What else do you have?” Andrew’s eyes track the rivulets of water snaking down Neil’s neck.

“I’m sure I can think of a few things.” Neil says. Then, for clarity, “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Andrew doesn’t let go of Neil’s hand, thumb running across the reddening knuckles once more before leading it to his chest. Neil leaves it resting there, marvelling at the colours bleeding between them under the shower’s onslaught, pink and brown and red and blue. Andrew soon tires of Neil’s staring, and is the first to bridge the gap between them.

Neil once compared Andrew’s kisses to a fight with their lives on the line. Countless kisses later, this fact has not changed in the slightest. Andrew leaves a bruising trail of kisses across Neil’s neck until he can’t remember which marks are from Exy and which are from Andrew. They all sting the same, sweet way.

Each kiss pressed to his mouth carries a metallic tang from Neil’s burst lip. He can tell from the fierce pressure of Andrew’s mouth against his that Andrew can taste it too, is feeding off the adrenaline rush just as Neil is. He catches Neil’s bottom lip between his teeth and with it sucks a groan from deep in Neil’s chest.

Andrew draws back to level him with an unimpressed look. “You’re far too into this.”

“You’re one to talk.” Neil raises his hand to Andrew’s eyeline, wiggling his fingers. Andrew’s eyes catch on the blooming violet patches. “You like this. Admit it.”

Andrew steps forward until his cheek brushes Neil’s fingers. Neil turns his hand automatically, cupping Andrew’s face.

“Yes,” says Andrew. His eyes stay on Neil’s, even as Neil’s hand drops lower.

It’s a small miracle, Neil thinks, that Andrew can trust Neil’s hands on him, after all he knows they are capable of. Maybe that’s part of the appeal, the evidence painted into Neil’s knuckles that Neil’s gentler touches are reserved for Andrew and Andrew alone. It’s strange that Andrew should love Neil’s fighting spirit as much as he does. After all, it was Andrew who taught Neil how to stand and fight in the first place.

It’s a fact that neither will ever let the other forget.

Neil leaves the shower sporting several more bruises than he entered with. Some are from Exy, some are from fighting, and some are from Andrew’s mouth.

He loves them all just the same.

 * Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Still open to prompts etc.

[reeree1500]

The Return-Part 4

Okay y'all here's Part 4. OMG I cannot believe the amount of love that this story has gotten😍 it truly warms my heart, that an idea I had a while ago and have now just started writing has been loved by so many of you:) And with that lets get on to the storyyyy

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @wuxiesalt

Disclaimer: My sucky ass writing as always:) Some slight insinuation of incest; Fluff (an attempt anyway);  And bad grammar and spelling (sorryyyy); Heart palpitations according to @yanii-the-hippie 😂 Hope you all enjoy☺️

Your POV

My head hurts so much that I feel as if I've just been hit by a carriage. The sounds of arguing around me do not help the situation at all.  So I try to not focus on the pain or the voices around me that won't subside and remember what happened. Images of Mira surface in my mind. Her corpse on the floor and the death rune carved into her back. My best friend and most trusted subject was killed because of me. I can't help but wince at the realization that I will never be rid of the death and chaos that I bring everywhere with me.

Fluttering my eyes open, my eyes wander looking for the source of those voices. As I begin to stand up from the very comfortable bed, I scan the room trying to find any trace of the people who were in here earlier. My eyes land on a pile of shirts neatly placed on the table. Walking towards them I come to notice that Im not in my dress anymore, but in what's seems to be a mans shirt. “Nice pair of legs you got there (y/n), wanna trade with me for a while?” At the sound of Ivars voice, I shriek and turn around whilst trying to pull down the shirt that is covering my body. “Ivar what the hell!” At the sound of my screaming Ivar just walks closer to me with a smirk gracing his perfect face. “W..what are you doing?!?!” His hands grasp onto mine and all I can do at that moment is stare back at him with my eyes and mouth open wide in shock. “You're gonna ruin my shirt if you continue to pull it down. Plus, you don't want me to see your breasts now do you?” At that, all the blood from my body rushes to my face. Turning me as red as an apple. 

Ivar grabs my face in his hands and his eyes scan over it. “I know we’ve just met. And its probably really wrong for me to feel what I‘m feeling, considering you're my sister. But, when you were unconscious it was probably the hardest thing I have gone through so far in my life. Not knowing if you would wake up was a nightmare that I could not wake up from.” Ivar says with an exasperated sigh. “Ivar....” I begin to say, but am soon interrupted by his lips placed on mine. I know I shouldn't reciprocate his feelings towards me or his kiss for that matter. But, the fact of the matter is that even in this short amount of time, this man has made feel things that I have not felt in my whole life. This man however is my brother and that is something that will not change. Soon the warmth of his soft and plump lips leave mine. Before I can say something about how inappropriate that was, Ivar is already walking towards the door. You know for a cripple he’s fairly fast. 

“You know (y/n) I’m so excited for what's in store in our future.” He says as he reaches the door. Rearing his head to where I still stand in utter shock of what just transpired seconds ago. “Especially, since we now share a room.” At that Ivar winks at me and leaves the room, with that smirk on his face. Once the door is closed my legs give out from underneath me. “Lord what have I just gotten myself into. It is wrong for me to have these sort of thoughts and feelings for my brother. Please give me the strength necessary in order to get through this.” As I look up and close my eyes I can only beg that he hears my prayer and somehow gives me the power to get through this. But knowing the almighty, something will happen.

------------------------------------------

As the weeks went on by, we had buried Mira the Christian way. Although nearly no one shared my beliefs, it felt nice to be able to have Mira been given the respect she deserved. People had brought flowers and different types of gifts to me in order show me their condolences. On the outside I had to be strong and show them that whoever did this had not gotten to me. However, my family knew all too well the toll it took on me. Especially Ivar, who would hold me at night and whisper sweet nothings into my ear when I had the recurring nightmare of that night. The raid that was supposed to occur after the festival was cancelled. I had expected many people to be upset at the fact that it was. But what I saw was a community come together for someone they did not know. And that is what I missed the most about Kattegat. The people. My people.

Ragnar, Bjorn, and Ubbe had decided to lead an investigation into who had murdered Mira. So far they had gotten a couple of leads, but nothing that would certainly pinpoint who the culprit was. In his worry my father had decided to teach me how to fight, so that I would be able to defend myself if it came down to it. He knew that this was a personal attack on me. And a personal attack on a son or daughter of Ragnar Lothbrok was an attack on him too. “Come on my beautiful sister, we have some more training to do.” I can hear Hvitserk say as he comes up from behind me. “Is that really necessary Hvitty? We trained yesterday!” On the weeks that went by I could say that Hvitty and I got really close. Closer than probably me and Ivar are. After the kiss with Ivar, I had tried to put as much distance between myself and him. What we had done was wrong and a sin. And I could not allow myself to give in to such temptations. 

However, that doesn't mean that Ivar still didn’t try to get closer to me. Every chance he got I var would hold my hand or hug me from behind. I knew that people where beginning to get the wrong idea, as I had caught Margrethe talking about how “close” we were for siblings. As soon as I heard that I began to make sure to only talk or look at Ivar if necessary. Waking me up from my thoughts Hvitserk takes my hand and leads me out of the hall. “Im coming. Im coming. Calm down!” I cannot help but contain my laugh at Hvitserk’s desire to want to train with me. Its probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. “You look like a child anxious to play with a brand new toy, Hvitty.” At that Hvitserk lets out a chuckle. “Only of you're the brand new toy and I get to play with you everyday.” he winks at me as he says this. “Come on you're distracting me, let’s get to work. Legs shoulder width apart and make sure you have good balance...” 

-----------------------------------

Bjorn POV

“We must have gotten somewhere by now! I want whoever is responsible dead!” my father screams at Ubbe and I. “Father, we've searched through and through, but there are no certain leads! Its a he said she said situation thus far!” Ubbe yells back at him. “Do not tell me what I already know, boy! I just cannot help but feel useless and like I am not able to protect my own. We all know that that was supposed to be your sister dead, not that poor girl.” at that he trails off. My father has lost way too much over the years. Many friends have come and gone. But the way we buried Mira, could only remind him of his best friend Athelstan. The Christian priest that changed his life (and mine believe it or not) for the better. He was murdered too, and that has always been a constant reminder to him of someone he could not save.

“What I think that we should be doing instead of arguing is perhaps, finding someone who is good at unmasking people. Since none of us can seem to find who it could be.” I tell them both, getting tired of their back and forth arguing. “And who would you suggest Bjorn. No one can know that (y/n) is here, besides the people of Kattegat. Our enemies will know how to get us. Hell one of them probably was behind this!” my father reciprocates. “I think we all know who I’m talking about. Im just wondering if you'll be able to reel in and control that bitch of yours, when she gets here. Since I’ve already sent word to her.” I bark back at my father. I don't know if its because im sick of him treating me as if ill never be good enough. Or because (y/n)’s life is on the line, but I had never found the courage to stand up to my father, until now. At my words my father becomes silent. It might the loads of ale Ive had today, but I swear that I can see what seems to be pride in his eyes. “How long?” “One day’s ride” It is then that my father shouts to the thralls...

“Prepare the great Hall! The Queen is coming home!” 

--------------------------------

Your POV

As the hours went by and my training had somewhat gotten better, I pleaded with Hvitserk to do something else. “Okay!Okay! We’ll stop training! But what else do you want to do?” Hvitserk's says shielding his sword. “I don't know, back in Frankia Uncle Rollo used to take me to the lake and taught me how to swim. Is there a lake nearby?” At that Hvitserk looks at me like I‘ve grown horns and a huge smile breaks out. “Come on, let’s eat quickly and then I have somewhere I wanna take you!” Rushing towards me Hvitserk grabs my hand and we quickly run off towards the great hall. Once we both quickly swallow our food, we head to the stables. There we find non other than Ivar in what seems to be him being pleasured by a thrall. 

“Oh, Im so sorry. We didn't mean to intrude.” I say whilst quickly turning around. “Awww you're so cute (y/n), you’ve never seen or been pleasured before?!?!? Is that why you're as red as a tomato right now?” Hvitserk chuckles at me while trying to pry my hands away from my face. “Shut upppp!! Hvitty, get the horse and lets goooo!!” I chuckle nervously at him. “Its ok (y/n), you should take notes from Margrethe here. Who knows you might have to use them some day.” Ivar manages to say through his... compromising position. “Well Ivar, (y/n) and I are gonna go on a little adventure. Don't wait up...” At that Hvitserk grabs the reins on the horse and passes them on to me. “You know how to ride (y/n)?.” “Of course, Hvitty. Its literally my favourite thing to do.” “I’m glad to hear that. Now lets go!” And with that Hvitserk and I were off to God knows where. But one thing I knew for sure was that if Hvitserk was involved, we were sure to have a good time.

Bjorn POV

Soon the day had gone by and it was just a matter of time before my mother was here. You could hear a pin drop in the great hall. The anxiousness that lingered in the air was so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife. My father could not stop bouncing his leg, some thing he did when he too was nervous or didn't know the outcome of certain events. My head quickly towards the doors when I heard the neighing and hooves of the horses. At that we all stood up and thats when both Ubbe and I noticed we were missing certain people. “Ivar, where's (y/n) and Hvitserk? They're supposed to be here or did you not tell them that we would have company tonight?” I whisper at him trying to not get noticed by father or Aslaug. “Probably fucking somewhere. You know they've gotten pretty close these past few weeks I wouldn't put it past them.” At that I just look at him shocked. “Are you sure it’s just him Ivar? Don't act like I haven’t caught you staring at our sister when she's taking bath or when she's walking around the market.”  Sigurd chimes in. “Whatever we will resume this conversation after this. But send someone to get those two here. NOW!” 

When I turn back I am able to see my father already walking towards the door with the family behind him. Making my way outside I catch a glimpse of my mother on horseback. The most beautiful woman to grace the earth and the most skilled in combat. She taught me everything I know and for that I could never thank her enough. Behind me came up my wife Torvi, I smile down at her and hold her hand. She knows that I will do anything for my family, especially my mother and sister. And I will protect them at any cost. As my mother gets down from her horse I immediately go towards her and give her a hug. “You know that surprise I told you about in the letter. Well, I have an even better one now.” I say whilst chuckling in her ear. “My son, how many times do I need to tell you that Im not so easily surprised.” She laughs back at me. You don’t know what's in store mother...

After much due catching up with my mother. It’s time to get down to business. Father fills mother in about the fact that there has been a murder the night go the spring festival. My mother begins to ask questions on how we've conducted the investigation, to which Ubbe fills her in. I cant seem to pry my eyes away from the doors. Hoping that my sister and brother walk into the hall safely. It’s been hours and no one has heard or seen of them. “Bjorn, are you okay? You're not really focused on the matter at hand?” Torvi says while placing her hand on my knee. “Yeah...Yeah, Im fine just a little anxious thats all.” At that she leaves it alone. It is then that we hear some jugs fall over and loads of laughter. “Hvitty get upppp. Everyone is gonna knowwww....” I can hear the slurs of my younger sister.  “Pfttt.. Like they careeee, were just having some funnnn....” Great these two are drunk of their asses and dropping shit everywhere. It is then that they both enter the hall. (Y/n) is carrying Hvitserk, in what seems to be a futile attempt to act normal. But when her eyes land on the blonde graying hair of our mother she drops Hvitserk and immediately you can see that she sobers up. 

“Mama...”

At that my mother stops talking. And her eyes begin to well up with tears. “No. it cannot be. It’s the gods playing tricks on me.” My mother says whilst looking down, refusing to turn around. My father gets up from his chair and kneels beside my mother. “It is true. She is here, come with me. I promise you she will not be taken from you again.” My father’s voice cracks at the end. As I truant where my sister stands I can see the pan and suffering coursing through her body. Her eyes show a small child that was ripped from her safe place and placed in an evil and hungry world, that only wanted to make her suffer. As my mother and father stand up I catch a glimpse of Aslaug and her stone cold face. That is filled with rage and what seems to be a predatory glare towards my sister. Trying to put it to rest and not say anything, I turn towards my parents. My father holds may mother in his arms as to keep her from falling over. “ My baby girl. Tell me that this was not dream that Ive had for the past 6 years and that you're actually here with me.” My mother manages to say through her tears. But,(y/n) is barely able to get anything out through her sobs. All she does is run to where my mother and father stand and embraces them. At that they all fall to the floor in their embrace. Hvitserk is now standing beside me. Watching, with the rest of us the reunion of a mother with her child. In my daze of being focused on my parents and sister reuniting I fail to realize that both Torvi and Aslaug are missing......

Aslaug POV

“She should have been dead!!! What part of kill the insolent bastard child do you not understand!” I scream at Torvi. “You did not tell me that she was the daughter of Ragnar and Lagertha. Much less Bjorn's sister!” I had ordered Torvi to kill (y/n) so that what I had done that night many years ago, would not come back to haunt me or my family. I did this in order to protect them. That insolent child will only bring death with her. The death of our gods. And that is something I will not allow. I had faked to not have known about her existence all that time ago, but I cannot put past me the prophecy that was foretold by the volva. I will do anything in my power to make sure that she gets nowhere near my sons. For I rather die then see an era were Vikings and Christians alike are one people.... “When Helga and Floki get to the dock. Report back to me immediately and tell Floki that he has an unfinished job from 6 years ago.” As I stare at my husband and his so called “family” I cannot help, but get a bad feeling about this. 

That Christian child will pay for coming between my family....

[mittensmorgul]

8.14, Trial and Error.

Or, a concise jaunt through Dabb's pet themes that will carry us into s15.

With Dean finally finding a home in the bunker, the family themes really begin to kick in. Not only the stuff tied to their personal legacies, but also Dean's... veneration (not exactly the right word, but close enough) of Mary's memory. In an episode where we begin by finding a family that made not one, but THREE demon deals-- (which I already detailed in regard to Dabb's pet themes in this post a couple years ago: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/169622891355/im-watching-814-again-and-its-like-a-concise), with the final deal made by Ellie had been to heal her mother of Parkinson's disease, with the worst bit being that Ellie had NO IDEA about the 10 year clock that set on her life before the hellhounds would show up to drag her to Hell.

So we have mother themes already, in an episode where Dean set Mary's picture on his desk in his room when he arranged his room just so.

I mentioned in the last few episode writeups in this series that I wanted people to remember Sam and Dean's respective mindsets going forward, because this is where that all gets torn up. So we're officially back on the job, getting down to the business of closing up Hell forever. Which again, as I've said, seems like a really good idea on the surface. What could possibly go wrong, messing with the Natural Order in such a drastic fashion? I mean, we're just trying to lock up all the evil, right? Gotta keep people safe, and without demons harassing people on Earth, people will be safe... in theory...

Well, one problem with this is the COST of doing the thing... I mean how many things with OBJECTIVELY GOOD AND WHOLESOME conclusions also end with the person doing the thing, in Kevin's loose translation from the tablet:

KEVIN And it's just a few words of Enochian, but... [KEVIN gives a piece of paper to DEAN.] DEAN Oh, here we go. KEVIN ...the spell has to be spoken after you finish each of the three trials. SAM T-trials like, uh, like "Law & Order"? DEAN hands SAM the piece of paper, SAM grabs it out of his hand. KEVIN More like Hercules. The tablet says, "Whosoever chooses to undertake these tasks should fear not danger, nor death, nor..." A word I think means getting your spine ripped out through your mouth for all eternity. DEAN Good times. KEVIN Basically, God built a series of tests, and when you've done all three, you can slam the gates. SAM So, what – God wants us to take the SATs? KEVIN I-I guess. Uh, he works in mysterious ways. DEAN Yeah, mysterious, douche-y ways. All right. Where do we start?

And hoooboy... first off, does God actually want you do complete these trials? Or are they simply a CHOICE that is POSSIBLE to make, even if it might actually be a very, very bad choice? I mean, God also technically gave the angels a choice between "watching over humanity and creation and serving as the guardians of the world" and "starting the apocalypse and burning it all down." And a horrifyingly large number of the angels really believed the apocalypse was what God wanted them to do... (and the AU angels demonstrated that God... didn't actually care one way or the other what they chose, because it wasn't some sort of test  they could pass or fail, they'd just have to live with the consequences of their choices... even if those consequences were MISErABLE for EVERYONE). Just as we will see with Cas's choice to help do the EXACT SAME THING to Heaven under Metatron's guidance by the end of 8.23, and what the horrific consequences of that apparently well-intentioned choice. Did God want them to do that, as well? To shut the gates of Heaven? And look what happened with THAT one? Metatron performed that spell, and was therefore the only angel who did not fall as a result. He effectively left himself in charge of Heaven, the only one able to control the doors in and out. So what would've happened to Sam if he'd completed the spell to close the gates to Hell? And can we all shudder at the parallel here for a moment and once again be grateful Dean stopped him from finishing that?

Good.

Plus there's that other consequence of performing the trials... the whole "getting your spine ripped out through your mouth for all eternity." Which makes it seem pretty clear, despite Sam's insistence that he wants to survive completing the trials, like there is a zero percent chance of actually being able to survive completing the trials, you know? No matter how you slice it, that seems like... a nonsurvivable situation... And yet, it's one of Sam's arguments to Dean at the end of the episode when he decides to complete the trials instead of finding another hellhound for Dean to kill...

DEAN Sam, I didn't pass the test. SAM But I did... And I'm doing the rest of them. DEAN My ass you are! SAM I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. DEAN Sam... SAM I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. DEAN Sam, be smart. SAM I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.

But Dean... He saw it clearly from the start:

DEAN Because of the three trials crap – God's little obstacle course. We've been down roads like this before, man – with Yellow-Eyes, Lucifer, Dick friggin' Roman. We both know where this ends – one of us dies... Or worse. SAM So, what – you just up and decided it's gonna be you? DEAN I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. SAM Dean— DEAN And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone – end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I'm gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.

BUT THIS DOES NOT MEAN DEAN'S ON A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE PATH HERE. We have repeatedly been shown that in s8-- but especially since Cas got out of Purgatory-- that Dean is kind of the opposite of self-destructive and nihilistic. He's REALISTIC. versus Sam's fantasy of idealistic. Dean doesn't see it as a "suicide mission," and he's anything but suicidal. That's obvious from the last few episode. He ENJOYS his life, he's THRILLED about having found the bunker, having his own room, this incredible legacy (how many people does he tell "yeah, we're legacies" to over this period? It's hilarious how proud and happy he is about this), not to mention his relative "lightness" since processing through what he went through in Purgatory. He's not self-destructive, he's just accepted his life and is realistic about it. He takes pleasure where he can find it, he's spending a lot less time denying the things that make him happy (like LARPing with Charlie or making him and Sam some really good food or even decorating his own room at the bunker). He's just accepted the fact that he doesn't even WANT a different life. He LIKES his life hunting, and is realistic about how he'll meet his end as long as he continues hunting.

But this is in stark contrast to Sam. Sam hears Dean's lil speech about dying with a gun in his hand and he sees it as hopelessness or resignation, when to Dean, it is not that at all. BUT IT WOULD BE TO *SAM*. And Sam really has difficulty processing Dean's emotions and desires through his own personal sympathy filter, because they just do not compute to Sam. What to Dean equals "comfortable acceptance of reality and the life he chooses because it makes him happy," to Sam sounds like "I'm willing to die because my life is otherwise meaningless." And it really misses the whole entire point.

But what SAM has always wanted for HIMSELF was that perfect life Dean described to him EXACTLY there. Normal family, normal life, living to old age and never having to hunt again. To Dean, that sounds like TORTURE. But in Dean's mind, Sam COULD have that life without Dean, without Dean dragging him back into the life like he literally did in 8.01, which Sam had been RESENTFUL AS FUCK over. He WANTED to hold on to that normal life! He was able to do it for a year, and even after Dean came back from Purgatory, Sam did not want to go back to hunting. Even when he DID reluctantly get back into hunting, it was filled with "you wanted me in the game, so I'm in the game," and repeated reminders that as soon as they found Kevin, and then when they found him it shifted to as soon as they closed the gates of Hell, that he would be retiring from hunting for good. REPEATED. REMINDERS.

Dean doesn't want out of the life AT ALL. He THRIVES on it. He doesn't know how to be anyone else, and doesn't want to try to be... but he's also not running toward the nearest cliff, you know? And as we go through this season, we'll watch Sam's attitude in reaction to the suffering the trials put him through, and watch him come to grips with the reality that there is no surviving these trials, no matter how much power of positive thinking he applies. But hooooBOY he's gonna keep trying to win here...

Let's also take a moment to reflect on just how... mistaken... the Winchesters' instincts can be regarding their plans. Because I think this has bearing on their entire choice to undertake the trials, as well. They go to the ranch knowing at least one person there made a deal. They BELIEVED it was primarily a deal to make themselves rich, but then the first hellhound victim dies, and they learn that he'd sold his soul for 10 years of love with his wife, who reverts to a state of confusion and can't even remember why she'd fallen in love with her husband in the first place. And... ew. So Sam quickly realizes that at least one more person sold their soul at that ranch, and begins suspecting the three happily wealthy (if socially stunted) members of the family. They don't at ALL suspect it's the quiet, nice youngest sister who lives a "normal" life after her family became inordinately wealthy. She sold her soul hoping that wealth would solve all her family's interpersonal arguments, but instead it just made them worse. But the surprise was the final soul-deal-- Ellie, who literally worked in shit all day in the barns because she loved the animals and loved her work, even if she didn't care for her employers. She sold her soul to save her mother's life. Entirely altruistic, if misguided.

After all this s8 nonsense, which is in turn s13 and s14 nonsense regarding the choices they all make re: possession by Michael, going to the AU to save Mary and Jack, Cas going to Heaven and making his deal with the Empty, whatever Dean was doing with the Drama Coffin, and whatever Jack's personal trials will entail after he returns from the empty in s15... well... what are we willing to trade for the people we love? Even when that's put up against the framework of potentially saving the universe?

Because let's remember again what Ellie traded her soul for... to save her mother. And wasn't this the exact offer Chuck made Dean in 14.20. Do the terrible thing, end your own life, but it will save your mother. And in the face of that choice, Dean refused.

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[amourphousblob]

My bts map of the soul: persona thoughts

(hi hello morning me here this is 2am word vomit that I didnt proofread so dont judge me too hard)

Intro: persona: YES YES YES YES I loved this so much please bight give us all rap line intros I would loose my SHIT. Namjoon killed it and really when you read the lyrics theyre so self aware and talk about the whole “but namjoon” bullshit and what fame does to human identity and I LOVED it. Rap is one of the main genres I listen to outside of kpop so ,, the rap line always slays me and honestly without a cypher in love yourself I feel like this was the perfect mood 8/10

Boy with love: I. LOVE. IT. Im not gonna lie, I didnt really like their last 2 comebacks and I was a little scared as to what this one would sound like and it was great! The one thing I was concerned with was the autotune they put on jimin’s voice on the first bit and yoongis rap. What tf was happening in that first half. the mv was beautiful and I loved how they incorporated the best parts of love yourself era with the dna sounding track and the idol mv aesthetic (fake love didnt have much influence but its ok as a song) 8/10

mikrokosmos: what the fuck is this spelling? I get its supposed to be like microcosmos like tiny universe but why K’s? It makes it so hard to read. Anyways little erant over those opening chords really reminded me of twenty one pilots. I wasn’t a huge fan of the vocal line’s verses here but the CHORUS sounded like a waterparks bside (or just a bside from another soft punk pop/alt band) with that lil guitar and it was AM A Z I   N   G oh my GOD I actually love rock and pop punk and stuff like that a lot it was everything I listened to for a long time and so little things that remind me of my favorite bands really send me a whole ass nostalgia blast. Some of it was a little weird but it recovered so 6/10

Make it right: its a song I guess. They really tried to do the whole minimalistic thing but it didn’t work. the verses were ok but I still expected some build, and by the rap verses it sounded wrong because they were so energetic and great over this honestly tired quiet little song. It didn’t sound finished. I can appreciate the choruses got a little more each time ( or maybe thats just my ears) but yeah 3/10 boring dont reccomend

HOME: my gay ass read this as homo the first time ngl. Anyways this is dare I say it the best bside on the whole album it was so catchy all the way through and just so NICE sounding I loved it. The rap verses were ,,,,, amazing ???? 8.5/10 (yes I ranked it above the title track what about it)

Jamais vu: the superior sad song. Its sad but still a bop and when that little “remedyyyy” kicked in I was SHOOKETH. The little snare kicked in and I knew there was gonna be a beat drop and I was READY and they did NOT disappoint! I loved the amount of hobi in this track the chorus was os catchy especially after the build when there was a little more behind the vocals and I loved ittt 7/10 good song

Dionysus: that intro kicked and I got immediate racounteurs vibes and iw as READY and then they returned to their og rap style I was like !!! This is the lost cypher my guys !!!!  But then the song started for real. I didn’t appreciate the autotune and honestly it wouldve been better if it really was just the rap line. The beat felt like it needed more raw vocals and less of this autotune, especially with the guitars. Also the actual rap line verses could’ve been better in the first half. That said this was definitely Yoongi’s best verse on the whole album and it was QUITE good. I wasn’t a fan of the chorus it sounded like a shitty anime opening ngl. as a last song on the album? I feel like they could’ve done better. This is the impression youre leaving your audience with and it could’ve been stronger. Tbh I think it totally could’ve been reworked and put higher up and jambs vu would make a great closing track but thats just personal opinion. 5/10

Concluding thoughts: I really love this! If theyre following lys format (which I think they are) then im excited for a longer release next time but as it stands I think this was pretty solid! Great job by the dudes and im excited for the next ep imma sleep now because I stayed up until the release and I haven’t slept in 20 hours

[rabidravi]

God's Angel🙏👼 (Taemin Scenario)

A/N: uhhh well this was a joke I wrote specifically for a friend a timeee ago and since this blog is where I post all my shit posts I thought why not unleash this mess for the whole world. I think it is quite needed in these circumstances to bring spirits up, make you question life or just have a laugh over stupid content or something iDK JKDSF. IT’S STUPID AND IT WAS JOKES BETWEEN FRIENDS AND I WROTE THIS IN LIKE HALF AN HOUR SO HJVJ. I edited it so it’s A BIT enhanced from the original which was a straight draft so ye editing WAS NEEDED to some extent

It was just your average ordinary day; the sun was shining; the birds were chirping; a truly beautiful day. You couldn't possibly imagine that things could get any better. Since it was such a nice day you figured you walk along what looked like a peaceful, flowery road instead of your usual boring route home from school. It was as if the road possessed you to travel down it as you traveled forward, giving not a second looking back. The further you walked, the darker the path grew with each and every step forward you took.

"My family didn't raise no chicken on our farm. _____, you can do this," you assured yourself as you carried on.

You trudged ahead, eventually reaching a part of the path that was covered in mud which you began to struggle through. Each lifted foot equaled a sink lower into the mud. You began to panic.

"Please God, don't let me die like this. I have yet to see my mans in real life yet."

At that moment, a burst of light shone in your view, it was too bright to catch a glimpse of what was happening. Only seconds later the light cleared and your feet were left feeling lighter and free. When you opened your eyes and looked down at your feet, you noticed the mud that seconds before you were surrounded by was no longer there.

"What the hell..."

"You're welcome."

Your head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice.

"T-TAEMIN?"

"Hello ____!" He was bright, not only because he was wearing bright yellow colors or because of his attitude but because his skin glowed. It was hard to look at him. He couldn’t have been real.

"Now before you ask, I am here because God summoned me. And I’ll admit I was hesitant to come because I was in the middle of watching anime but you know how God is, so demanding."

You looked up at the sky and mouthed, "Thank you."

Taemin burst out laughing. "Wow bitch you bout’ gullible as hell!"

"But then why are you here?"

"I was just bored wandering around when I heard a voice interrupt my peace of thought. Yeah yours. Talking about chickens and whatnot."

"Ok but what about the mud...where did it go?"

"I swished it away to save your dumb ass. Again, you're welcome."

"YOU HAVE POWERS? THATS SO COOL. I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A GOD."

"What you so loud for? Jeez. Keep quiet or I'm gonna make the mud reappear. Sooo you're my fan? Do you have a fan account? Because you seem like a person who would. Lemme see your phone."

All Taemin had to do was lift his hand for your phone to come flying over to it like a magnet. He smirked at your lock screen of him before unlocking it with his magic hands. You didn't bother to comment to avoid getting blasted by Taemin again.

"Your tweets are funny."

You blushed at his words. He continued to scroll through your page for a solid minute until he suddenly stopped. He stared blankly at your phone without saying a word.

"Is something wrong? OMG PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOU'RE LOOKING THROUGH MY DMS."

"Hakyeon. From VIXX? You ult him?"

"....yes...? Is there a problem?"

"I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR ONE AND ONLY. YOU TRAITOR!"

"TAEMIN I LOVE YOU DON'T BE RIDICULOUS."

"IF YOU LOVE ME THEN WHY IS HE YOUR PROFILE PIC AND NOT ME?"

"I CAN LOVE MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT A TIME WHY YOU ON MY DICK."

"IM NOT ON YOUR DICK BUT YOU SHOULD BE ON MINE, AND MINE ONLY."

"Um. Okay. I mean. If you want me to."

"YES I WANT YOU TO."

"Like literally right here? Right now?"

"DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?"

So you did as he pleased. You were down on your knees, ready to show him your loyalty, when Taemin suddenly grabbed you by your hair.

"You think I'd let a snake like you have a taste of me? Think again."

He covered your eyes with his other hand and with a poof, you fainted.

You woke up with the inability to feel your legs. As you slowly blinked your eyes open, your view was lower than before. It pained you to lift your head and when you tried to pull yourself up, you couldn't at all.

"Loving the new look! You're looking more like yourself which is great!"

"Taemin, what did you do to me?" you stuttered.

"Well since you want to be a snake, I made you one. Does it feel good to finally be your true form? No need to thank me this time, it was my pleasure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some anime to watch. Toodles!"

And so you were left there. Alone. Luckily, he left your phone on the floor. You slithered to it in hopes of getting help but with no hands and just a tongue, it was no use.

"All this just cause of another man...men are really trash."

"You sssaid it sssisss," a long bodied snake agreed, its voice sounding too familiar.

"...Hakyeon?"

[irastayshome]

Ibrahim's birth

Ibrahim arrived in this world on 21st January 2017. Back then, we were lucky to afford a doula because I was hella nervous about the whole birthing process and tbh my head wasnt in the game because of all the stress at work. After the 'hard part' was over, and as I held my son, I vividly remember my doula saying that the easy part was over and the hard part of being a parent has just begun. I thought it was a joke at the time because, well, what could be harder than pushing a 3 kg baby out of your vagina? 2 yrs and 6mths on, I have mentally kicked myself in the head for taking my doula's words lightly. These days, I consider it a win when I do not raise my voice or completely lose my sh** and raise my hands at my son. I keep needing reminders of what it took to get him into this world and the many moments we failed him along the way so that I do not be complacent and mistreat him.

So I thought I might write his birth story down after all. Didn't really wanna remember all the details of something that feels rather insignificant now, but some days at home are just rough and a good reminder is useful.

*

19 January 2017. I had been on maternity leave for a week, but only just completed my case transfers from home. My mamamia had been insisting that I sleep over her place once a week for the last trimester on Hasyali's night shifts. I didnt mind at all, because my r/s with my parents have improved significantly after moving out. Distance is truly necessary sometimes.

It finally dawned upon me that I was due in a week. Being last minute as I always am, I tried to 'catch up' on the squats that my doula/birth educator had been reminding us to do at 9 pm. But really, i was just doing it for fun cause like it would make any difference at 39 weeks, esp since ive been treating my body like crap while handing over my work the last few weeks. Planned to youtube more exercises to speed up labour etc etc but fell into the rabbit hole of "natural birth positions" and "painfree birth vlogs" and before I knew it, I was hooked on the Midwives yt tv series till i fell asleep at 5 am. Damn youtube.

20th January 2017. 7 am. Felt like I ate something so bad and had to do a big one. And so I did, groggily, and went back to sleep. Feeling so smug that I could finally sleep in on a weekday. 9 am. What is going on with my bowels??? Tried to recall what I ate last night, but dont care just sleep after the business. 10.30 am. Sat up and mentally admitted that those horrid pains at the bottom of my tummy could actually be contractions! Trying to keep cool, I ate breakfast quickly, trying to mask my ronyok face each time the tightenings came by because nyayi was there and I just did not wanna tell my family. pretty sure they would have shipped me off to the hospital immediately.

Took cab back at 12.30pm and smsed hubs about the contractions, saying it could potentially be the real thing. But not sure, so I timed them in the cab. 10 mins apart. regular. oh crap its happening. Got home, discovered the bloody show. So yup i got my confirmation. Smsed hubs a photo of it but told him to just take it easy, go solat Jumaat and just slowly pack his bag aftee. He just got off his night shift so he probably hasnt slept at all. Told doula Kak Hajjar about whats going on, and was advised to just relax and walk2 until i cant talk anymore from the pain. Hubs came back, and i took off on a birth walk alone around the estate. Every few mins, I just stopped and breathed deeply, sorely regretting not pestering my hubs to come along bcoz adoi sakit and nothing to squeeze or hold on to. and in the 3 pm sun no less.

Came back, started panicking when i realised hubs belum pack!! what is it with men and last minute packing?? feeling annoyyed bcoz im about to do some serious work but he cant even get started on packing. but ok takpe, got in the shower to cool down and to relieve the pain while he packed. Contractions were now 4 mins apart, but I could still talk. NUH told me to come in now. Doula told me to wait till i cant talk. The kancong me decided to go anyway, worried about the rush hour jam on the start of a weekend.

Arrived at NUH at 6 pm, realising that id skipped lunch. I was hungry, and oh no so damn sleepy bcoz i barely slept the night before! Damn youtube. Ate mr bean pancake with hubs. Met doula who told.me i dont look like its time bcoz i could talk and joke about. I admit i secretly thought that it was because i had a high tolerance for pain hahahaha joke. Entered the delivery ward at 7 pm, was 4 cm dilated. Yay! but wait what, all that pain and only 4 cm? oh no.

So began the longest night of my life. Doulla massaged my back and did hip squeezes through contractions, and I occasionally swayed while standing with hubs. These two were just incredible birth partners. My labour pains were rough at the front, but damn the back labour pains were friggin insane! Felt like maybe I had tentacles trying to burst out of my spine and turn into Doc Ock.

At some point, i remember just saying random supplications and feeling so regretful that i had not rehearsed what selawats I wanted to read in those moments bcoz my head was really jammed up trying to manage the pain. By 3 am my body felt like it had gone through a marathon and i really did fall asleep between contractions out of sheer exhaustion. It was exhausting to just tahan the pain.

By 4 ish am (hazy on the details by now), a VE confirmed I was 9 cm dilated. At this point I was already vomitting and my head hurt so much from tahaning the pain. I remembered thinking, or maybe even saying out loud, that I wanted them to cut the baby out. Im pretty sure I was transitioning at that point but I didnt know bcoz my mind was too panicky. They told me the head was still too high to push, so they offered to burst my waterbag, but said theres no assurance it would bring the head down but wld certainly intensify the contractions. I was pretty sure I would pass out if they intensified, out of exhaustion. and never mind that I was barely able to wake up btwn contractions due to my flu and fever (yes ARGH hate flu during labour). So I refused and waited for news that im fully dilated.

6 am. Still at 9 cm. My head was thinking "how long did Kak Hajjar say transitions lasted again?? takkan lama gini??" This time, my mental strength just gave way. I screamed for an epidural. I remember feeling so terrified that my baby would be stuck while im pushing, because I had zero energy left. Fatigued from the pain and the fever, I pleaded for an epidural again n again. I rmbr my doula, my husband, the nurses all giving me such kind words of support, saying ive gone si far and am at the last lap, and encouraged me to stick to my birth plan of going without medication. But I was too defeated by exhaustion and just wanted to sleep. Hahahaha. Like i literally said "yang, i nak tido" and started to cry.

So they called in the anesthesiologist (dunno the spelling). While he prepped the long-ass needle, I felt a huge gush of warm water down there. My waters broke. At this point I could have just waited for the head to descend, but I was too tired and looking forward to a promised 2 hour rest before pushing. So I kept quiet about it. I was in tears, out of disappointment at myself for not being able to ride out the exhaustion. But my doula was so kind and reminded me that God is the best of planners, and perhaps this was the way for me to achieve a natural birth still and avoid any emergency csection if I could not push. The nurses too were angels, and kept assuring me I had tried really hard for a long time and shouldn't beat myself up. And so I slept. That was the best 2 hour sleep of my life. pretty sure I snored and drooled, in the presence of my doula. Nak kata paiseh but nah I was too tired to care, and all modesty had left the room hours ago.

8 am. Woken up by cheerful nurses who told me it was time to start pushing. I just wanted to sleep in longer, but then I remembered oh ya baby is still inside. That epidural was gooooood. So began pushing. It felt so weird pushing when I cant feel anything moving down there. They had to tell me when to push i.e. when contractions came, and kept telling me I was pushing wrong and i had to do it as how i would when pooping. I suddenly didnt know how pooping felt like anymore. Kept pushing for an hour plus, but apparently the head keeps going back in. My husb and I had affectionately named our foetus "jubjub", just to avoid calling it the baby during the pregnancy. and my doula joked that perhaps the baby keeps going back in bcoz we named him jubjub like the muppet from Hi-5 that likes to peekaboo around. haha that was a good one.

My gynae finally came in around 9.30 am ish. She told me that I had to do an episiotomy to help push the baby out. My husband stopped her and told her to let me continue trying. But eventually she kept persisting and my husband apparently could not tahan seeing me push so hard anymore (he said the veins on my face look like they were gonna burst). So he agreed. The moment she cut, I pushed and felt the head empty out of me. I thought that was weird cause I was on epidural, but apparently they reduced the dose while pushing. A few more pushes later, I heard it. Ibrahim's first cries. The nurses and my doula congratulating me. My husband telling me I did it and he was proud of me. But mainly, Ibrahim's cries. 21st January 2017, at 10.03am.

They placed him on my chest. I cried. and cried. And i thought he was the most perfect thing I could ever hold in this world.

Dearest Ibrahim, a mother can love her husband out of choice, but theres simply no choice in this love I have for you. It is so raw and intense and relentless, that Im so consumed by it from the moment I held you. There are days, now, when I feel your anger towards me because I am so hard on you, especially since im not very good at coping with the two of you. But I hope you never feel that I love you any less when I get angry. and I hope you truly forgive me when you give me a hug after I apologise each time for beating you. You deserve so much better, and i'll keep striving to be a better mother to you and adik.

Ok bye. Am gonna cry my eyes out now. Damn birth stories.

[legion1993]

Chained By Sweet Hungover Rhythms

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader

Prompts: “It’s 8:30, i have a hangover and you’re annoying me.” (Dialogue Prompt) Chained To The Rhythm by Katy Perry (Song Prompt) 

this is dedicated to the wonderful person who put this lovely idea together and inspired me to write this lovely piece @thing-you-do-with-that-thing may you enjoy this as much as i did writing it 

Plot: Based in Season 11 ep 9 we find a distracted Dean who with his brother Sam decides to investigate the murder of a preacher they think it could be connected to Amara but Dean goes into the morgue to look at the body and runs into our reader who he had hooked up with 3 years prior... what starts as something innocent soon discovers as something that was ready to be more but didnt cause they had their memories erased and only now do they get them back and thus also getting eachother back... But how long will that last?????? 

A/N: this is written specifically for week 1 of the Supernatural Hiatus Writing Challenge 2017 this contains a few of my own twists to the in between points of this episode so bare with me for this crazy adventure... hope you guys enjoy it if so give it a love tap and a few comments would be most appreciated... :)

Never once had either of you thought things would end, but that night it did for a Jinn hunt gone wrong 2 lovers seperated for they were so sure it could have been more..

“Dean don’t the floor its rigged to blow... i know you came all this way to save me but save yourself, save your brother get out of here...” Dean looked around and got knocked over by a jinn hitting him on the head your name falling from his lips in a slow breath; shortly after that you screamed Dean’s name as that same jinn knocked you over the head as well, then everything to them felt as though their bodies were being dragged off...

they both woke in the hospital a few days later with no memory of who eachother was nor what happened. they were released only hours later after a few tests and talking to the doctors but still felt like they were missing something, they felt like something had been torn away from them.

no one expected this to last no one had wanted them to do this hunt, they exited the hospital only to discover there wasnt any shortage of space for they bumped into eachother exiting the hospital you got knocked off your balance but apoligizing to eachother Dean strode off with his brother Sam towards the impala and you towards a taxi which would take you to the nearest bus depot.

over time the reader & Dean have emerced themselves in hunting full time no questions comments concerns or anything, they were trying to find someway to fill the void the emptiness within their own hearts, the void that was created when the jinn wiped their memories of eachother.

for together they were stronger, but you seperate them you kill their strength and you show them what its like to be truly weakened by your own emotions.

It is said some lives are linked across time and space. Connected by an ancient calling that echoes throughout the ages. something that is older than fate herself. you and Dean had always been connected by Destiny. for it would be another 3 years before you would see eachother again.

----------3 YEARS LATER----------

amara is slaughtering preachers in search of a way to get in touch with her wayword brother God, Sam and Dean meet with crowley who didnt believe Dean at first when he told him about how if Amara were to unleash her full power that not even crowley the king of hell would be safe.

crowley then tells the boys that there may be a way for Sam to meet with Lucifer, but that they would need to neutralize Lucifer`s power. Upon their discovery of that knowledge, Crowley continues to tell the boys that the only way to neutralize lucifers power is the need for certain spell work; which would come from the book of the damned, which they learn is in the book of the damned, which they find out is with Rowena.

the boys work with Rowena and Crowley to get everything ready while Dean catches wind of the murders being done by amara decides to leave Sam and rowena in the bunker to set up the spell while dean goes to investigate. Meanwhile, you are rolling into town the same time as Dean you both end up at the police station not acknowledging eachother at first until the sherif turns to acknowledge you noticing your badge he says, "well agent your partner is already inside the morgue come let me show you where it is.."

at this point you were very confused, you had no idea what kind of idiot boy scout you were dealing with but you were sure going to kick them in the ass if they screwed this up for you. you followed the sherif who let you into the morgue and you wlked in behind him, stopping slightly as you caught sight of the other 'badge' you immediately cleared your throat and gave him a small smile as he extended his hand to you, "agent dean macoy..."

you took his hand, "agent 'your first and last name' so your my new partner... from headquarters i assume... funny they didnt tell me you were coming in on this..." you said with a snarky attitude kinda not getting a good vibe from this guy. as he chuckled and began to show you the otopsy report you as the radio in there was going it was playing your favorite song,

"Turn it up, it's your favorite song Dance, dance, dance to the distortion Come on, turn it up, keep it on repeat Stumbling around like a wasted zombie Yeah, we think we're free Drink, this one is on me We're all chained to the rhythm To the rhythm To the rhythm"

you sang loud enough that your 'partner' could hear you, he then smiled and looked at you, "you know this song is like totally easy to strip to right?" you turned to him and chuckled, "whats the title if your a fan of this song for your own twisted reasons?" agent macoy chuckled and you could tell he liked your sass, "Chained to the rhythm by katy perry... im not an idiot i wasnt born yesterday sweetheart.. would you like to get a beer after work partner?"

you agreed and walked out of the station together and started talking you both discovered your interests were the same, you also discovered you were both staying at the same motel across town. you guys drove back playing leap frog on the road, upon their arrival back at the motel to discover that their rooms were beside eachother.

with a swift chuckle out of Dean he got out of his sweet looking 1967 Chevy Impala, coming to your drivers door and smiling as he opened the door helping you out of the car. you smiled as your hands lingered, your eyes locked onto eachother with the look of lust swelling across the seas making your heart beat faster in your chest.

Dean cleared his throat and walked you to your room and kissed your hand and smiled, "such nice soft hands for a hunter... how long you been in the life?" you smiled and sighed, "that is a story better left for the bar... meet by ur nice impala when we are cleaned up and done?" you say as you lean over and kiss his cheek the stubble off his chin tickling you.

"absolutely sweetheart..." dean smiled at you one more time before you both entered your rooms at the same time. you were relieved to remove your fed outfit, and now to find your perfect outfit to go to the bar in with Dean. you loved the way his name sounded but you wondered if that fed name was his actual name or his fake name.

considering he is a hunter too it wouldnt surprise you if that wasnt his real name so you called Garth and decided to check in, "your name whats the word on those church murders is it something heavenly or hellish???" you chuckled and smiled, "calm down Garth i met up with another hunter when i went to talk to the sherif. he has these green eyes that make my heart soar... we are actually going to grab some beers for some relax after our win at the police station."

Garth chuckled on the other end and you smiled as you zipped up your favorite mini jean skirt and put on your jet black tank top, "oooo your name gots a date your name gots a date... i want a full report on it within the fortnight..."

that made you laugh as you tried to do up your leather boot, "of course Garth i gotta go ill call you tomorrow.." you hung up the phone and laughed grabbing your holister and tucking it under your right boot and tucking ur gun in there and then you grabbed your brand new leather jacket (cause your other one had been shredded by a werewolf a while back).

you made sure you had your phone but left your pager in the room and obviously had your ID and your wallet you werent sure where this night was going but it was looking good so far. you made sure your room key was in your wallet and then you exited the motel room. you looked up to see Dean, looking ravenously hot leaning on the hood of his sleak black 1967 Impala.

"well well well she cleans up good for a huntress... perfect to match my hunter... wouldnt you agree..." Dean said as he strode towards you, making you smile, "Dean when i checked in with my friend he mentioned to me that i should have started dating years ago... not saying you know i dont actually know if this is a date or not but he said he wants a full report within a fortnight..."

Dean laughs as he opens the passenger door to his 1967 Impala and lets you inside. the leather interior cool against ur skin but u didnt care, things at that moment just seemed to feel normal like it had all happened before. Dean closed the door when you were safely inside and he crawled in on his side. he stuck the key in the ignition and your face lit up happily as the engine purred to life, you smiled as led zepplin or metalica or whoever it was blasted thru the radio you didnt know why but it made you all warm and fuzzy inside.

like something out of a dream or a movie, something that made your heart skip a few beats till he reached and took your hand in his and your heart stopped slightly as you turned slightly to look in his eyes, "this is gonna sound crazy but i feel like i already knew you before today... i'm sorry if that sounds crazy but its just how im feeling."

Dean tightened his hold on your hand for the fear he had in his stomach was far too great, "no no no 'your name' dont ever think anything sounds crazy for infact i feel the same way... but why would we both be feeling like this i mean it cant possibly be the fact that... no no no there wasnt anyone with me on that hunt and plus i think i would remember...."

you looked at his now very confused, confused as to what he was talking about you took a sigh and you smiled lightly, "remember what dean?? whats going on???" you asked now slightly worried that dean might have... "yourname dont walk out on me please i dont want to loose you after i say what i am going to i fear i might..."

you reached out and touched his cheek lightly feeling his stubble run across your palm, "im not going anywhere dean i promise.." Dean breathed in and sighed, "about 3 years ago to this day i woke up in a hospital and my brother said i had been attacked by a jinn with no major injuries but he also mentioned someone else had been found where i had been found too but why would he mention that to me if not for me to question eventually he ignored me on it and everyday since ive had to live with the feeling like im missing something."

at that moment it occured to you that a similar thing had happened to you about 3 years to date, "it doesnt sound horrible actually something similar happened to me about 3 years ago too except i dont know what happened doctor said that i came in with brusing and a small concussion and a sprained shoulder but was also knocked out from the time i was brought in till 2 days later and that i wasnt the only one brought in too... same sitchuation what the hell is going on???"

Dean at that moment had an idea, he knew it was gonna be a long shot but it was their best chance possibly at finding out more about what this all means and what actually happened... dean then turned to the window and turned off the car as a smile crossed his face. he got out of the car and came over to your side and smiled as he twirled you closing the door and walking with you into his motel room, "just relax 'yourname' im not gonna get freaky but we are gonna get some answers... Castiel if you got your ears on get your feathery ass down here we need answers and we need them now"

at that moment a small woosh, suddenly a man in a trenchcoat was standing across from you and dean. now dean who now got up and sighed, "cas we need help something happened to us and made us not able to remember all the details we need to know what happened and whether or not we are connected by something..."

"actually you are... Dean Winchester meet YourFirstandLastname and vise versa your story is one hella complex thing you already knew eachother but 3 years ago you were on a hunt together you had slept together and chased this cluster of jinn across america agreeing to meet in the middle for the final 2 but when you arrived together you were a couple and it had taken you guys 1 year and 7 months of working as a couple to get that far but along the way... well why dont i show you that very same day...."

Castiel came to you and dean and touched your foreheads showing you everything from that same 24 hours:

Dean stopping at a little jewelry store and getting an engagement ring,

you both showing up at the abandoned mental hospital where the jinn had set up shop,

Dean following your every move as you did his and you both killing the first jinn only before Dean getting hit really hard and passing out slightly and you getting taken by the second jinn,

dean getting up and scowering the entire facility but finding you tied to a chair in what he presumed to be the morgue but the floor had been booby trapped and dean getting clunked on the head,

saying your name as he passed out and then you screaming his name before you got clunked on the head and passed out both of you waking up in the same hospital, both of you walking out of the hospital and back to present day...

once Cas took his fingers off yours and Dean’s foreheads you both shook your heads from the sudden return of your memories and then Cas smiled,

"your parents were destined to have both of you exactly at the precise moments you were conceived and born because you are soulmates... your destined to be together written in the stars type thing. you both were destined for a greater purpose and for that i leave you to get back to your original states."

Castiel disappeared shortly after his statement, you got up and stood at the mirror in the bathroom sighing as you splashed some cool water across your facial features you looked at dean through the mirror. you smiled lightly as your head felt like it was about to explode, your memories changing and you started to giggle,

"after all this time i thought i was alone, i never imagined that coming here would not only let me figure out this case but allow me to find my soulmate. let alone finding out it is the famous Dean Winchester, Garth Fitzgerald talks about you all the time."

you said as you strode back to him slowly but hearing him chuckle was what made you look up at him, "Garth that’s your friend, Garth really why him why Garth... is that who wants you to report in..." you giggle as you trip over his napsack, landing in his lap, his arms tightening around you, "yourname i know that this has been just crazy, its been very crazy and we have been seperated for 3 years but right now we need to make things official they should have already been official but you need to accept my question now..."

you felt dean reach into the pocket of his leather jacket and then move himself out from beneath you, you watched him kneel on the ground in  front of you,

"yourname i know that getting our memories back filled in alot of blanks but right now its just about us. so one very important question still needing to be answered, yourname will you become a Winchester and marry me in the process???"

you nodded as he slid the ring on your finger, "yes Dean although me becoming a Winchester means my family line is officially dead, oh well we were all ready a dead line, together we start something new cause we are all chained to the rhythm and we can turn it up cause its our favorite song and we will dance dance dance to the distortion..."

you kissed him pinning him to the bed between the giggles, laughing, beers, shirts flying, everything flying around the room the feeling of sensation and pleasure fill the bed your lives and the room.

-----THE NEXT MORNING-----

you woke up to your ringtone, "It is my desire Break down the walls to connect, inspire Ay, up in your high place, liars Time is ticking for the empire The truth they feed is feeble As so many times before They greed over the people They stumbling and fumbling And we're about to riot They woke up, they woke up the lions (Woo!)"

Dean stirred beside you and tightened his grip on your waist as you reached for your phone and groaned at the call display, "Garth, its 8:30 i’m hungover and you're annoying me with this call because..." Garth cleared his throat on the other end as you felt dean bury his face into the back of your neck as he groaned kissing your neck now sort of conscious his stubble drafting cross your neck, "well yourname how did the evening go..."

dean picked up on the fact that it was Garth you were talking to and he nodded for you to put this on speaker, "Garth you best have a good reason for disturbing me and my gorgeous fiance at this obscenely obnoxious hour of the morning." Dean kissed your lips softly as Garth gasped, "dean my man hows it going??? & yourname you didn’t tell me you were with Dean Winchester, nor the fact that you knew him i mean both of you... but how?????"

you smile as dean buries his lips into the crook of your neck and you giggle, "Garth, that`s a long story which i will tell you when we next do a meeting, but i plea you to spread word around amongst the hunters that Dean Winchester is getting married and formal invites will follow..."

you smiled as a light moan slipped from your lips and Garth cleared his throat, "well well well so whens the wedding????" dean then sighed, "bye Garth we will speak to you when we do..." dean then closed the call and hung up you only smiled and laughed it was the most amazing night ever.

-------- 1 year later---------

THE DAY HAD ARRIVED, the flowers everywhere, the bunker dun up in loads of twinkle lights, the hustle and bustle of Charlie and others rushing round, getting everything ready but mostly the annoyance of Sam and Charlie having you and Dean trapped away from eachother.

Charlie having you stuck in your old room & Sam having stuck Dean in what was soon to be your shared room but there was something that made today seem like something out of a dream.

thru text tho you and dean were able to exchange i love you's and chit chat while you both were prodded and poked and dressed and such by Charlie and Sam. everyone was having fun but as the music started you started to get nervous...

you and dean were allowed to call only once both of you were ready, "Dean i don`t know if its just me but now wearing this dress and these stupid heels, i suddenly am nervous to do this in front of all these people..."

"don`t stress sweetheart just think we will be legal after this.. trust me we have been chained into the same rhythm for a long time and today is my favorite day cause today i get tied to the woman who has made me a better man... i`ll see you out there babe..." Dean said as Sam and Charlie both entered your quarters and announced it was time and took your phones away hanging them up...

you breathed in and smiled as you heard the intro to your favorite song and you started to sing along, "Are we crazy? Living our lives through a lens Trapped in our white picket fence Like ornaments..."

as you were led from your room down the hall which now had a red carpet and still yet you continued to sing but once you entered the main hall you were stopped by Sam who had volunteered to walk you down the aisle even tho technically he was also the best man but he was the closest person to do the job and you wouldn`t have it another way.

you walked over to Sam who hugged you and congratulated you before linking your arm in his and the chorus started and everyone rose as Castiel said, "all rise for the entry of the bride..." at which point you started down the aisle with Sam and as soon as you locked eyes with dean you were sure you would fall but you knew that wouldn't happen as long as you lived with these fantastic people.

it was here finally as Sam placed your hand in deans and took his place beside his brother you smiled as you and dean approached Cas who smiled,

      "ladies gentlemen friends family it gives me the extreme honor of marrying Dean Winchester and YourFirst&LastName, these 2 people have been through so much being hunters, this life is never easy but when things get tough the tough stay strong for it is the strength of family and friends that gets us through this rough life. now as dean and yourname have opted for saying the short and sweet versions of their vows i would like to invite them to do so now..."

dean straightened up and smiled,

      "yourname i know we have been through so much but now we never have to be alone again you have a home with me and Sam and everyone here we know how this life is especially for someone who had no one else who searched for so long we know that nothing is easy, but everything comes with a price, you paid that price when you started hunting you killed the thing that took your family from you.. but it was your courage and thrill of the hunt that brought you to me, now we never have to be apart again. i love you yourname and i`m happy your mine..."

you smiled and sniffled slightly as you sighed,

       "Dean your right you always are no matter what anyone says, i know we shouldn`t have taken our time together the first time for granted but loosing you and yet still ever worse loosing my memory of you has made me a better person a stronger hunter and as you said the huntress to your hunter. i`m proud to on this day become your wife and i only regret not stabbing that stupid memory stealing jinn when i had the chance... i know i`ve said it before but i wasn`t kidding you make me happy you are not useless you are my superman and i wouldn`t want anyone else... i love you dean and i cant wait to see where life will take us..."

Cas cleared his throat as Charlie and Sam handed off the rings which were immediately placed allowing Cas to continue,        

"and so by the power vested within me by the laws of heaven and earth i hereby finally pronounce you husband and wife, dean you may kiss your bride"  

Dean was familiar with that part he wrapped his arms around your waist and dipped you kissing you passionately earning claps awes and ooos from the crowd as the song finished,

"It goes on, and on, and on 'Cause we're all chained to the rhythm"

[inmemoryofvanity]

Alright so lets talk shit about Bad Girls Club, season its played out please do a spin off or cancel the show. 

My favourite bad girl right now is seven. She's quiet enough to not look like a punk like the “lesbian of the house” but loud enough to have a presence. She isn't doing the most, its seems like she's genuinely being herself. She's honest for the most part, and knows when she's starting shit for the hell of it. I fuck with her, cause she's actually cute, and not trying to be and also she seems so down to earth and did you see that ass. YAssss seven. <3

Girl from Compton. She's the most, she's way to much. She's one of those girls that literally will start shit at burger king for not getting tomatoes on her burger. She flips over nothing, to the point where you have to question. Who hurt you boo? Getting bent cause a sugar daddy wants to be cheap, but your meal was paid for and you really didn't have to tip if you were gonna get THAT mad about it. She was concerned about looking like a bum bitch in that scene, but little does she know her weave did that for her. WHERE ARE HER TRUE FRIENDS?! To let her know!! That weave has to go, the only time it looks good is when it’s slicked back and you can't see the multilayered colours that have noooo right being together. LET IT GO. 

Rocker chick: She tried it, she really did try to be a bad girl but its not in everyone. She likes to act like this positive hippie but really she’s held onto a grudge with the stripper girl of the house because he eye and her ego was bruised. Cant lie compton was right, she talks to much and thats why she gets fucked up. She's one of those white folks that’ll call someone a nigger, then when they get dragged for it their like.. wait what did i do. YOU CANT GO AROUND TALKING TO PEOPLE ANYWAY YOU LIKE. People that don't understand this concept will one day encounter a serial killer and the rest will be in the news cause you fucked with the wrong one. STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM, please .... On the bad girls club crying like someone killed your dog, because you got beat up. Like how did you even screen through!

BIG GIRL: she's EVERYWHERE in EVERYTHING! like she can't get enough of the cameras for real. She's definitely an attention whore. Every fight, even the ones that don't involve her, she's in it to win it, or  loose it when it comes to fighting. Either way, my girl is always in the mix she can't get enough of the mix. I really can't stand her, when rocker chick was talking to her mom, she even got in on the video call saying she stood up for her daughter. Like why do you need validation, if you did it out of pureness, real protection and friendship why brag about it. Hold a seat.  And she cries for EVERYTHING. EVERY FIGHT SHES CRYING AND NOT IN A IM SO PISSED I NEED TO CRY NORMAL WAY.. its like a baby crying for a bottle, or crying to their mom about a bully hitting them. she's whiney and its quite annoying to watch. How in the hell did she screen through! 

Now lesbian girl of the house, i really hate that Compton actually acknowledged her as that. As if her sexuality defines her, but understandably she is the only lesbian in the house and she identifies proudly. Now in the last episode i watched, her supposed friends tell her she's boring and she needs to open up. Now i don't think they expected her to be over the top annoying but the next day my girl was in the movie split, and started acting like a whole new bitch. I get it though, cameras are rolling you wanna stand out but i dunno if hopping around the house and going around telling ppl to smell your hair is exactly what they meant. Anyways even with her knew ‘changes’ she's still a bore and I would like to see her go, because she's forever in Compton's crotches like a cardboard tampon. 

Stripper of the household, she's my second favourite. She seems genuine and bout it. Very honest. I respect her, her hustle and her vibe. I like that when she says she's gonna beat a girl up, she means it. That takes heart. I like that when its go time, she quiet but isn't afraid to swing. She doesn't do too much talking when go time. She just says a couple simple words, “Run up”- so classic. So classy.  Thats it. No long talking simple. 

Seorita or however you spell her name, she aint about shit type of girl. Except a get some dick and use him for his money type bitch. I can get down with that, because she tries to stay out of the drama. But the drama can't help it, he keeps fucking with her. I don't like that she doesn't really know how to defend herself, and is able to take a whole hand slap to the face and not retaliate. I guess that also takes heart and maybe jesus. ALL IN ALL she's alright, i don't really fuck with her but i don't dislike her completely.