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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

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12x22 watching notes

*loud Dean!girl tears*

Cup of Tea No. 1:

Expectations - Berens Buckleming Clean Up Operation, which tbh when you rank writers by skill at this job WAS the top of the game over Dabb but then Perez showed up. But I still expect a competent job.

This appears to be the BMoL and Mary wrap up episode, although on this show appearances can be deceiving.

As a fervent Mary stan this season, I'm hoping they don't kill her but if they do kill her she dies next episode for heroic reasons, not this episode for rubbish hubris reasons, although I am open to being won over to a tearful passing if they actually get to friggin communicate everything with her, and in that respect I feel we've been waiting since 12x03 for Berens to get back to the point he was making there...

I EXPECT Ketch to die bloody, but ever since last episode I've been pre-emptively disappointed that he's going to be mauled by his own hellhound. Slightly less disappointed if Dean opens the cage and says "Sic 'im, boy," to the dog, because this IS an episode by Bobo "Drowley" Berens.

Aside from that, I've pretty much got nothing because I haven't been speculating ahead on much or really daring to entertain any ideas, except for firmly staking my entire farm on the mystery dude from the 2 in 1 trailer being "Garth with padding" so I expect I will be handing over my farm soon. Although I assume that's in 12x23 and therefore not yet and maybe not for hours.

[note from past me ‘hours’ yeah okay this episode literally ended up making me bedridden and too weak to move by the halfway point so I took like 24 hours from start to finish :P]

Oh yeah, Dean's got a pending 7 years ago "welcome to next time" for Walt or Roy from Dark Side of the Moon. One or the other is supposed to be in this episode. The reminder of 5x16 nudges all its themes onto the table, and it's nice that it's a Dabb episode, the one that wrecked Dean n Cas's faith, ruined Heaven for Sam n Dean, and had Zach attempt to ruin Mary for Dean with that chilling speech that after 12x03 we were saying really cut too close to home on what Dean might have thought after Mary walked out.

Quick Jody recap. Not entirely sure if the "Jody is good people" line comes from 10x20 about Claire, or 7x22 about not!Jenna, the Alpha's blood slave, but it certainly wasn't about Alex, although it's laid over a clip of them together, and the only reminder about Jody is that she adopts wayward daughters.

Blah blah murder!Mary, capturing Toni recap, Mary is brainwashed, bunker is gonna kill you... Noticing Ketch saying the air will "reverse" which means what, exactly, but anyway goes with the theme of reversing things. He also has an extremely punchable face, and since DHJ grew his beard back, all these con photos from the other day have been literally unrecognisable and I keep wondering who the normal looking bloke is hanging out on stage with them, because I'm so used to him looking like this:

(brief break because Berens episodes always make me really sick for some reason)

Anyway.

NOW.

Dead guy (thing?) on a truck.

Dead guy. Mary used some reaaaally horrible cat claw looking knuckle dusters or something to kill him. BMoL including savergy as part of the deal; Mary is the hellhound who tears up these guys. Not just being effective at killing - it has to be horrible too. And Mary's been getting used to killing monsters horribly - why should it matter when it's people?

the obvious problem next season is the hunters have been decimated so monsters are going to be a much bigger problem and sam and dean can't rely on all these random nobody hunters to stop the next generation of tragic backstories.

This one was called Lester, and I watched 10x02 waaay to recently and that's the guy who got screwed over by Sam's demon deal shenanigans and Dean killed.

Oh no I think he worked in Auto Repair - Bobby would have been a target if only they still had a Bobby

Bobby would not have stood for this. Mary would have been in the panic room in a flash through some trickery and smart paranoia :P

Aaaaah Jody's on the hit list. Who did Jody ever hurt???

I can tell you why that's stupid even for the BMoL: aside from killing law enforcement being a dumb idea in general to not draw attention to yourself, the local sheriff type hunters will literally always be the sort to get involved in cases on a local level and start hunting for themselves to protect a small town like Jody did... you're never going to stop them popping up and you're removing a valuable local level resource and I bet there are others like Jody who just didn't have the misfortune to know the Winchesters who literally never fight above their weight limit but are ready for vampires to come to town >.>

I know she's on the hitlist because she's an associate of the Winchesters but I mean... their overall plan is STUPID if they're going after hunter cops in general. Pfft

*Sam, Dean and Toni bicker entertainingly*

Toni argues that they NEED her so THEY don't kill her. It's like... on the endless infinite loops of Crypt Scene reversals, this one is Toni arguing for HER life to UNDO a brainwashing if they don't kill her, using the keyword "you need me", and... yeah. Same sort of deal - someone saying stuff to not get killed and there's brainwashing involved.

Sam: "LORE"

DAY ONE

Remember how 11x14 is one of my favourite Sam episodes because Berens just sometimes writes the Perfect Sam, and he's all peppy and researchy? I've seen literally 2 seconds of this scene and I'm like, yeah, he's at it again.

Berens's take on Sam is probably the interpretation I've funnelled into Terrible Coffee AU, mostly because I laughed SO HARD at excessively caffienated Sam in 11x14 and what it did to his personality, I decided then and there I would never write a scene with him where he hadn't had at least 4 cups of coffee

Sam found a gremlin spell :D

Pfft they need to purify some blood to make it work. While the Bunker is on lockdown and the lights are flashing red. Dean's even wearing a red shirt, though it's a plaid one, because he's in the family again unlike 10x03, and Toni's the ~invading element~ who last episode like demon!Dean spat a load of bitter truths at Sam, did the same to Mary.

Aw they're all combining their blood. They're in like some sort of pact now, that they all at least want to live, at least long enough to try killing each other in free air. But yeah, no one of them is being relied on to be the purified one - symbolic that while they hate each other, when it comes to getting free none of them is being more self-righteous than the others, and also an admission that none of their bloods are pure enough that any of them could have lorded it over the others.

(Sam, of course, is working with Toni and compartmentalising everything about how she tortured and mind-raped him)

Brains failed, now for brawn. (Sam and Dean still being aligned this way, and each having a day to try their thing)

I hate seeing a map of the Bunker as if it makes sense, but it reassuringly magically produces a brand new wall we've never seen before with a convenient exit right behind it - "let's Shawshank this bitch" - so I figure its magic is still at work. It's brainwashed too - it doesn't want to kill them, so it's doing its best to help :<

They need to manually override it.

Dean immediately gets repurcussions for his idea by getting a shard of concrete in his eye. Probably not symbolic

Also they probably wasted a ton of air doing that

"how did this happen?" "which part?" "all of it" - haven't hit play but cosmic consequeeeences

"We had Cas back, we had Mom back"... I assume Dean's priorities have been pointed out by everyone but I'm doing it anyway. Even if you just say he's listing them and had to go one way or the other, and "Mom" is the more surprising one, but still... Cas being got by Lucifer was like, up there with things that getting him back was like getting Mary back, in how happy it made Dean. That is a Thing.

Also belatedly had some Thoughts and came back to this point, that Amara is really the big bad of this season too, but as an abstract concept of chaos, which she represents, where her 2 actions for Dean were to give him Cas and Mary back, but between throwing Lucifer wherever to let him carry on as he liked, and bringing Mary back to get tangled in this, she creates the two heads of the end of season chaos, and both arcs (and Mary and Cas have been mirrored all the way as the two sides of this sort of looping around each other)... I guess what I'm saying is I expect chaos and I'm blaming it on her, but it's belatedly given me a really interesting way to look at the randomness of the season.

Sam's regretting things. Give him a dog. *ruffles his damp hair* He was just too optimistic for his own good. He wanted the world wide scale doing good thing, and wanted to follow along instead of leading.

Whenever I think of Sam and leading I think about boy!king Sam and the plans that were apparently there for him. He had the "I'm not a leader" arc like 6 years before Cas did, and it turned out it was all a con anyway, but the point is, Sam very very firmly does not like being put in a position of responsibility, probably has season 2-3 trauma related to it, since it was how he first died, and then how Ruby met him, swearing loyalty to him as if he would be that leader...

Ironically in 12x14 and Berens knows this full well as he writes Sam saying this, Sam took control and leadership of the situation and crisis-managed it all the way through to a dead Alpha vamp, getting the hero shot and everything, but he still blamed the BMoL over and over that they were the ones who did all the hard work, and turned to them for guidance, instead of seeing what he did there.

As Leviathan!Dean once said, but, uh, reapply this to being a GOOD leader, they're strong and smart and so on... He just went to the end that it was a perfectly good opportunity to subjugate the weak (which is what the BMoL want) and of course Sam would rather not do that :P

Cup of Tea no. 2

Oh crap, they're have a Moment about how they want to die, talking about how they didn't imagine it being this way because, well, who plans to be murdered by their own Bunker

I don't think Dean plans to die this way any more

Did Dean just....

he did

Toni hates the Americans

YEAH DEAN

He's gonna remember that forever.

If he's not dead and tbh if he is he just died happy

Having an explosion in the Bunker was a terrible way to use up all the oxygen

YAY Dean did the thing and all the smoke is clearing

I suppose because this is on the CW Dean doesn't stumble in with a massive boner from finally getting to use it

This was already a symbolic victory for the crazy American way of hunting.

Oh dear, it's Mary.

She is covered in blood and just walks up to the door, and Jody's like... okay I guess this is what happens with the Winchesters.

I think 12x06 softened her up too much to the idea they just show up covered in the last hunt and want to watch TV

Omg GARTH IS ALIVE. For now?

"You and Bess need to get someplace safe" :3 Thanks for looking after them for me

I mean now Eileen's dead and Garth is still alive I feel sort of bad for using his life to bargain with. Hence hoping he's mystery guy.

Nyoooom

oh that was a cruel fake trail of blood.

I mean real blood but fake anyone got killed because Jody is upright and Alex is next to her and Mary's just got a bleeding nose and a smirk while being wrapped in rope.

"Hello boys"

Heee Alex and Jody took down Mary and they're being proud of each other for doing it

I love them so much so I am in absolute terror that one or both of them dies

oh dear Dean's stuck in a room with Jody and Mary and she's taunting Jody for playing mom to Dean - 9x19 comes immediately to mind, and Momma taunting Jody for doing the same to Alex, which is how she got her in the first place. And Mary's tied to a chair and all she's got is the same demon!Dean thing from 10x03 to snark at Dean and tell Jody she can have him.

Honestly, Dean's adapted a lot very well to even survive watching Mary say she doesn't want him to his face.

He doesn't look HAPPY but he didn't like, burst into tears and/or storm out the room

"What's the matter, Dean? Am I too different from the Mary you know? Or too much the same?"

The whole messed up family thing in one go here >.> Mary mirroring Dean as demon!Dean having a dark side that renounced his family and claimed to have always been this thing, and Mary doing the same...

Lol Mary's hiding behind "inpenetrable psychic walls" - that's not the metaphor the Bunker was warning about us or anything, OR anything deeply symbolic about all the character stuff for Sam and Dean where they hide behind walls of "the story became the story" and all that. Looks like maybe this is how Dean is forced to tell Mary all the dark horrible truth about her deal and all that we saw in the script they teased? That he has to try and find a way to ease her out from behind it, maybe taking a few scratches and shrapnel in the eye to get there, but... Can he grenade launcher through it with his words??

"They can't be torn down with grenades"

Dean is too sad to even do a "watch me try"

Random hunters!

And Walt and Roy!

"No hard feelings" yeah it's much easier to understand when Sam's alive and that was 7 years ago and honestly so much character growth since then or something

Nice demonstration of putting aside bad feelings to work together

Dean leaves Sam to do the big presentation and Sam stumbles over introducing it as a personal problem he and Dean have ended up with, but then suddenly drops into inspirational speaking about "our people", taking on the burden as a leader :D

(I mean that's like the one thing they told us in PR but it was "sam n dean" and look I'm really proud of him okay? Berens writes a Sam I love)

Sam also admits, in front of Walt and Roy even, that he was one of the hunters who messed up and were suckered in by their flashy tech. Admitting that the current terrible scenario is his fault again, when that's what they originally killed him for - whatever was on the hunter grapevine about what Sam Winchester had done...

blah blah America is great land of the free etc *Sam finishes the speech with an American flag flying behind him*

But I mean good laying out of the philosophies of what they see hunting is really all about - the whole cops and robbers thing Sam talked about in 12x14 but thought the BMoL could help with that instead of seeing they weren't going to be anything like what he idealised about the job.

And he asks them to follow him :')

I hope the near-death experience made Dean change his mind about dying bloody too

Dean's so proud

Me too

Oh no he's sitting it out. Literally because he blew his own fucking leg up.

I'm sitting this out too... I'm in too much pain to continue doing anything useful right now

Cup of coffee no. 1

Morning! So Sam gets his big character growth moment to maybe not mess up leading a thing this time (people are going to die but they know that... more alarmingly, Jody's going with them >.>) and Dean's saying behind to fix Mary. He gives a speech to Sam about doing that which sounds almost exactly like the sort of thing Sam was saying about demon!Dean - if there's any of them still in there they're going to find it and bring them back.

The Mary stuff has always been emotionally more on Dean's side just because Sam would be perfectly content for her to exist and see what happens (which is probably an unspoken part of how the BMoL suckered him in that he didn't mention in the big speech to the other hunters) - he gets the external evil to fight, something which helps fix his and especially Mary's mistakes by taking down the operation, while Dean deal with Mary.

It only just occurred to me typing this, even though I've had like 14 hours since I found out what the plan was, that that puts Sam in a Ketch-ish direction if he's going to be anywhere predictable. I'm still torn about this because I want Sam to kill him for Eileen but Mary's got a personal beef too and I'd honestly be sort of confused if despite being the least-most-invested in killing Ketch, Dean doesn't get pitted against him, partially because this is The Raid pt.2 (this time the hunters doing exactly what the vampires did when they were all being killed off) and partly because stuff just kind of happens to Dean more. But it's entirely unfair of him to hog ALL the emotional catharsis if he's got Toni and Mary with him trying to fix Mary, and then ALSO has to deal with an unexpected Ketch

Oh dear, Alex just told Jody to kick it in the ass while heading off to a safe house with Donna. It's sort of the show generic rallying cry because Kim Manners, but it's also the Ellen and Jo bye bye phrase, and I don't like this. I have suddenly remembered I am very very worried about one or both of them, and Alex unfortunately still don't have much point to be in this episode except it's weird to pretend Jody doesn't have a family just because the actresses need herding, Claire's purposefully driven off into the sunset so doesn't seem to be a part of this, and that leaves Alex here to either kill or react to Jody being killed.

Sam and Dean do the bitch/jerk thing which in a show where there was actual threat to either of them dying would make them having a "don't die pls" farewell unnerving for the exact above reasons, but just makes me feel like everyone's having tearful goodbyes to try and pretend the stakes are equally high - at least, the characters think so - to obscure killing off Jody.

The BMoL have Sam and Dean on their board with "ELIMINATED" underneath them. Losers.

Aaaah I forgot Claire was a potential target though. The WORST thing they could do is kill her off-screen without ceremony and let Jody and Alex find out because Jody bursts into the control room and sees Claire's picture with "ELIMINATED" under it

Oh nope Ketch is getting nervous about where his asset is so he gets the "keep it between us" info that Mary's in Lebanon, Kansas, aka time for Ketch to not be around to get killed in the base (making it infinitely easier to raid for everyone else) and for him to go exactly where I assumed he would.

Sorry Sam, you get the second hand reassurance that Ketch paid for it >.>

Nighty night, Dean and Mary :D I'm surprised they didn't just say African Dream Root but I suppose the BMoL have had time to develop these technologies and magical chemistry that makes the stuff work, and dream root does come with the problem that you can literally kill someone in one of the dreams, it's so real, and tidying up all the lore on how to do this sort of thing would make sense if they wanted to not have to deal with any odd plotholes from that. Using electrodes and stuff to link Dean and Mary connects them without the basic way dream root does it, polyjuice potion style, so theoretically neither of them should have control over the other, although Dean's entering Mary's head?

WHERE'S THE SOCK MONKEY? INACURRATE. FAKE.

Oh well, I suppose there's some sort of weird symbolism sticking Dean in that chair to wake up but without Dean's sock monkey it just doesn't feel real to me.

I suppose it could be any old day of the week not like dropping Dean directly into the scene in 1x01, since it's daylight beyond the windows, so perhaps Mary has been tidying and Dean's sock monkey is in his room where it belongs and it just happened to be on the floor in 1x01 because she hadn't tidied that day >.>

Dean whatever you do do not pick up the tiny Sammy. He's very cute but I have a bad feeling about randomly appearing babies.

Oh it's so weird to regress Mary back to the Mary she was stuck at the whole time of the show for 11 seasons. I mean MARY said she was stuck there in 12x03 as well but her surface actions have all been really different, obviously. And at this point... Dean looks stunned to see her and I don't think it's just because it's the "wow Mom" shock he would get all the previous times, but now, FINALLY looking at her as someone who she USED to be...

Oh no he's so small.

This is what he looked like when he wore the "I wuv hugs" shirt. He's seeing it from the other side now.

Dean could pick HIMSELF up.

Oh noooo he's eating PB&J I didn't sign up for this.

I was expecting him to do this but I was not expecting it to be Dark Side of the Moon over again instead of 1x01. I thought he was going to go do something similar to Sam in the vision Azazel showed him in 2x21, but I suppose the point is that they return to the most important moment to them, and for Dean it was eating PB&J with his mom. It's utterly tragic that Dean and Mary have the same Heaven memory but from different sides, because one of the worst things about Heaven is the isolation - if you don't know to start pressing on the walls looking for roads or loose threads, you can stay in a dream for eternity, and Mary and Dean might be living the exact same moment over and over again, but without each other... I'm not saying they should be soulmates, I'm saying Heaven should be more like what Ash made of it without the sneaking around and needing an advanced understanding of quantum physics or an angel to tell you what to do to start hopping between Heavens.

Of course put too many people together and they start talking and questioning and it's easier to keep them content if they don't have the ability to think about their situation deeply and philosophically, but are drugged up in their Heaven dream with happiness and mindless contentment living over their best times again.

And now Dean's stuck on the outside looking in of the same moment just as Sam was 7 years ago (you know maybe last night I was wondering if we'd come back here because I was thinking Roy and Walt were a very obvious clue... This is what happens when you take 14 hours off)

YEAH JODY. FUCK THE LAW. RUN A GUY OVER. SHOOT SOMEONE.

LOL Roy and Walt are driving Gadreel's car

Of course in the way the show endlessly loops around itself, what Dean is doing, especially the sitting opposite Mary while her brain is hacked thing, is 9x10 again. Toni is Crowley but this time Dean is going in himself.

"You're choosing this" *Dean is horrified* *has only just gone through this with Cas last year* He hates that anyone would choose not free will because, well, contradiction. But Mary has regressed back to how she would have been in Heaven - living in the dream and not really able to think about what's outside herself, and so the choice to stay is very easy: abstract pain and harsh reality, or just not thinking about it. In a way it's almost like trying to right what she feels was done wrong to her - all those gifsets comparing it to Buffy talking about how she didn't ask to be brought back and how she had been happy in Heaven. To Mary, THAT was the violation of her free will...

"I hate you"

Aaand Dean reaches the most dramatic part of HIS character arc relating to Mary.

Ironically one of the B99 episodes I caught up while laying around like a dead fish yesterday included one where Holt got annoyed Amy wouldn't stand up to him even after he lost her favourite pen, and eventually wound her up enough to make her yell at him and dare to disrespect her superior officer (... to an Amy degree anyway :P) and, yeah. Same deal; Dean's been completely INCAPABLE of expressing anything negative to/about Mary, and even the argument in 12x14 was more a sort of downwards bump in this relationship, because within the episode he decided to reconcile with her *just* because she was Mary, and of course the argument was not as stark and final sounding as "I hate you" - reconciling with her after was just putting that aside in order to keep her around, not any sort of conclusion to this fight.

lol getting some more use out of the sci fi corridors to randomly mimic the opening of A New Hope, though the BMoL are literally "the empire" and the American hunters are the "rebels"

oh I think Roy or Walt is already dead. Lol. Sucks to be them.

(they DID just think they were doing what was right in 5x16 but still. They've been a statisticaly anomoly to be someone who killed a Winchester and lived to tell the tale (I suppose the lady from Wishful Thinking as well but she was as much a victim of the spell as anything so it doesn't... count...?? I suppose the people from Mystery Spot who helped kill Dean all those 1000s of time as well :P))

Anyway being a redshirt on this mission gets them killed on the Winchesters' behalf so fair's fair

Oh boy here's the stuff from Dean's confrontation with Mary, and aside from squeezing her eyes not to listen it's completely one-sided as Jensen delivers the sort of Dean monologue which of all the monologues which should have got him an Emmy already, this is the best. This is terrible :D

He's using instead of "we love you" truths to get to her, the HoRRIBLE truth that she's been owed THIS ENTIRE TIME

Anyway he's blaming his whole tragic backstory on her instead of Azazel, because the story has become the story that even after 4x03 Dean's managed to keep Mary pretty much exactly on the pedestal he always kept her on rather than confront that she is the root cause of his angst, which involves her death... He's letting go of everything. Seeing her saying she wants the best for him and will keep him safe, but he knows she's saying this having ALREADY made the deal, and that her entire happy life with her kids was ALWAYS a sham because she ALWAYS knew something bad was coming, but while she was living like this she put herself entirely into that dream to ignore it.

"You left us, ALONE, because Dad was just a shell" holy crap the show is actually OVER, what's even left to SAY

I know when Mary came back, around this time last year we were screeching about the development he'd be offered by this, by finally getting to confront his family history again and get to be at peace with the way he was raised and all that... It's gutting to watch it in real time though

"I had to be a father, and I had to be a mother"

holy shit I wish I could send this scene back to season 10 me to see :D Like, right after 10x03. Because the character thread in Dean I've been following the entire time I've been in fandom has been waiting to see if this would ever get resolved well, after 10x03 where demon!Dean blurted out similar to Sam but from the worst possible place, at HIS lowest point. (This is not Dean's lowest point. Lowest point for his relationship with his mom, but higest peak he's ever stood on for his own personal strength. Holy crap I'm proud of my boy.)

(The phrasing here is all kind of reminiscent of 10x05's song about John and Mary and it's making me laugh inappropriately because the start of season 10 nailed all this so much)

And the thing is by setting this all here in the Dark Side of the Moon day it's a completely timeless moment - like sure there's some vague outside stuff going on like it's BECAUSE of the BMoL but Dean's ONLY talking about their history, their past, how his life was all the time since ever, and the historical facts of Mary's life. Any time since 5x16 they COULD have pulled the trigger on a scene like this, because all they needed was a run up to get Dean in the right mood to say it all. Of course this is the end result of a massive, at least 4 years project to tear Dean down and build him back up and have his character development go on an absolutely incredible journey... At this point I feel like the sports commentator yelling encouragement on the final lap before an absolutely record breaking victory.

"I couldn't do it - and you want to know what that was like?" YES PLEASE KEEP TALKING

Dean lists all the shit that's happened to Sam like the bitter Sam!girl he is and says "all because of you"

I think at this point I just want to look back at 1x09, where Mary as a ghost goes to Sam, before almost any of this happens except Jess dying and the horrible upbringing, and says "I'm sorry" because she KNEW what she'd done to him, and she died guilty about it. She said in 12x02,

MARY: And when we do find Sam... how am I gonna face him? DEAN: What do you mean? MARY: That yellow-eyed thing would never have come for him that night if I... I started all of this.

but with all the massive miscommunication themes she didn't go talk to Sam when she should have - when he came to her in the end of the episode and hugged her, she should have apologised there, and made a start on it. And if not then, then in 12x03, although I'm feeling like from the moment she cut her hair it was too late and she was already avoiding who she had once been, chopping off the style associated with herself as their mom and stepping into what would become this demon!Dean-like brainwashed Mary. I suppose it makes sense to say in 12x02 she raised the problem that she had to face sam somehow, and she DIDN'T and then we got 12x03, the mirror episode to this one on this side of the story (and it feels like Berens has made one of those clear lines through the season, with 12x14 being mirrored on the other side of this episode, in the way Robbie owned season 9 - so like I hand season 9 to Robbie, I'm giving Berens season 12 :P Good work on all this, sir.) In 12x03 Mary is faced with the haunted house full of mirrors to exactly what she's NOT seeing here - Sam as the burned, soulless doll in a crib, the object the demons passed around, and eventually was nothing but a hollow person, as Dean ends it on describing that Sam lost his soul. And for Dean, she sees the little boy, and she hasn't moved past that, but Dean had to tell her from the moment she died he wasn't that any more - he was the parent of the family. She's got her family regressed here again, because confronting it in 12x03 just made her run away. And this is as far as she's run, through the season, literally just running on the spot in this exact place.

Outside Mary is crying, but inside Mary is refusing to show anything. Maybe it's just because where her consciousness is - she won't cry on the face Dean can see. He's leaking tears in the dream but not on the outside. But yeah, she can pick one (1) set of tear ducts to angrily repress. Because at the end of the day, Mary has always been the one more like Dean.

Dean FINALLY gets through the "i hate yous" he's always needed to say to get back to "i love you"

*slowly sinks underneath the blankets* Yeah, saying "I love you" to Mary is the only way he's ever been able to get it out before - the speculation being that once he's worked through his COLLOSAL issues with his parents he might be able to say "I love you" more casually to others because he's at peace. I can SEE him settling into being at peace now, which I think is all that Amara INTENDED when bringing Mary back, but obviously the MASSIVE repercussions going on outside their little insular family bubble.

And Dean forgives her. And says on the other side of this, they can rebuild their family and make it work. AAAAAAH.

(AAAAAAAAH)

Finally he gets to the "but I need you to fight"

"Mom I need you to see me" Oh god this is so good and painful

Mary's crying on the inside too! But in this case it's good because that's the part of her that can see Dean

And we're back to mirroring the start of the season, the very opening scene, but this time Mary recognises Dean and gets to say his name first, instead of Dean crashing out of the trees at her, yelling "Mom", and getting his ass handed to him :P He had to tell her who she was, but this time he told her who HE was. And NOW she sees him, now he took down every single wall between them.

LOL Oops bye Toni nice knowin' ya except for all the times you were terrible.

If Dean had trusted her - and if they'd changed the freakin LOCKS again - she might not be dead.

Ketch does the thing again where instead of just killing his targets, he wants to talk to them, so he wakes Dean up instead of just slitting his and Mary's throats while they're unconscious.

I suppose now it's on Mary to wake up and save Dean

I was torn on who needed to kill the dark mirror of John more, but honestly, Dean's done, came out of the oven perfectly risen and smelling great, so he does not need to reject John. He sees John accurately and describes him in that speech in such a way... His memory doesn't have to haunt Dean, and he's forgiven Mary too.

(And we never mentioned the cupids. Pfft.)

christ, Dean's being given the Swan Song beatdown with his leg not working. For once he fights back because Ketch is absolutely not a loved one, but he's completely outmatched, and Ketch is enjoying punching him.

He says Mary said absolutely nothing about Dean - Dean knows from being in Mary's head how she DOES care about him, and that she was being brainwashed - he doesn't know for how long... Point is, these words can't hurt. He already made his peace with Mary too.

I think Dean just threw Ketch through the SW DW table, which is hilariously dark about their legacy >.> It's more about in the contacts they build outside themselves, and the WORK they do, than anything they write on a table - shots of Sam and Dean thinking about the world while sitting alone in the bunker or in/on the car are often very sad about how isolated and alone they are.

Thinking of which, we're rapidly running out of episode for me to be worried about Jody in.

Ahaha Ketch brought a gun to the fight. He says he's not stupid after Dean points out how stupid he was, but he's got his back turned to Mary, and Dean's now in exactly the same place SAM was in 10x03 after the demon!Dean chase, where Cas suddenly came out of nowhere and grabbed Dean.

Oh Dean flinched, he had been watching Ketch. Nice surprise. Mary's back :D

Dean hobbles over to stand at her side.

"I knew you were a killer. You both are." "you're right." Yeah, Dean n Mary are a pair aren't they :P Both been through this same arc now. Dean owns the description but I think he has a very different definition than Ketch, for all people tell him that he's a killer. He can kill things for his job and when it needs to be done, but that does NOT mean he's a psychopath like Ketch. And Mary has a heart too and chose the right side.

Jody pls don't stand with your back to the open door - this is literally how that random no name got killed in 12x14 and I really really don't like you not covering your back, especially when you're a cop, and even when you think you cleared this place.

Oh they all survived. Sam got the news about Lucifer, decided to pass on working with a maybe lesser evil to deal with a bigger one. Jody saves his bacon with the big kill shot.

Where does Dean even get prescription painkillers. I suppose he'd have got some when he broke his leg but aside from that it's pretty much up to them to work out how much to medicate themselves by whatever illegal means off-the-grid people can fake prescriptions or health insurance. Also America's healthcare system is terrible because it seems like an entire adversity all by itself to their lives, while in a free healthcare country... yeah, not so much a big deal :P

Mary's got the season 7 Cas guilt now - everything that happened is her fault, she feels. I mean she certainly really helped the BMoL get a foothold and so on although they seemed pretty intent to come on over whether she had anything to do with it or not. But the broken family relationships, yeah, she ran away >.>

"What if he can't forgive me?" "Mom. You don't have to be scared of me" *Winchester family sandwich*

I think I'm starting to cry at this show way more often than I used to but oh my god I'm so happy for Sam right now. He misses the entiiiiiiiiire thing but the point he made back at the start of the season is he just wanted Mary THERE and her problem is she was TERRIFIED of him, and having the whole equivalent drama to what Dean just went through with her, but if she knew Sam, that's not him. He zenned out in season 5-7 and has already recovered from like, the whole thing, and piled on totally different trauma :P His arc was so important to resolve to the story they already completed the arc in Swan Song, and it wasn't about Mary but it WAS about peace with himself, and of course all done with external actions and plot drama while Dean had to deal with the internal stuff, literally going inside Mary's head to sort it. Anyway point is Mary doesn't need to be scared of him because there's nothing to be scared of. It's literally as simple as he wants his mom, should she happen to be here. Unlike Dean's entire character arc since season 1 still having been unresolved. And the heart of it was stuff that was obvious since season 1 or the first episode, but Sam got his resolution in season 5, while taking us back to that season 5 moment, showed how Dean did NOT get his resolution when he needed it, because it was never JUST about sam but his entire family.

I wonder how he'll be next season, no matter if Mary survives it or not.

Thinking of which, now Berens has finished writing season 12 for us, I suppose Dabb has a whole bucket of fuckery waiting to throw us into season 13.

#12x22 #Berens fanclub #season 12 spoilers #my stuff

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