#ITS FINNA GET SO MESSY AND IM LIVING

[sugugasm]

you HELL for leaving off slut certified on a cliffhanger like that my gawddddd😭😭 no but fr the wait was worth it (hope you’re doing well btw) but when they were getting it on they had so much passion like??!? fuckin like they a married couple on honeymoon😭 you said the oc finna be a luh slutty in this next chapter so i can’t wait to support ny good suster!

LMFAOAKAOAOA NOT HELL OMG 😭 IM SO SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT. CHAPTER THREE IS MESSY I FEAR, everybody prepare to make mikasa number one public enemy. 🫨

[kdipshit]

Balance

Im Finna go get that bag yuuuhhhhhh, so I got my job back holy shit who else is surprised?? Me lol, they said no stuff ups aloud lol, attendance has to be onnnn, its gonna be super easy though because I’m working with my mum who’s got make sure we get to work on time everyday lol, we get along so much better these days so its going to be FUN I loveeeee it already. Not gonna lie the anxiety and all the thoughts that I had when I first left a month ago, and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to show attendance… but like I’ve been doing, I’ve been showing up for MYSELF every single day, why not this swell? Literally why not? I have my goals in my mind, and I probably won’t even work here that long before I can sit comfortably on journalism and my path going this way. Its just that when I started thinking about it I started to feel it, and it wasn’t a good feeling, but now that we know feelings come from thoughts, and we can choose our thoughts, its become a lot easier to adjust to the perspective. I choose the most positive one every time, its a choice, if I did nothing I would go no where, but stay in my thought trapped brain, instead of living in my beautiful life. I choose to live every time.

I feel much better now that I’ve taken my morning meds lol, thank you for all the problems I didn’t have to face. There Is a version of myself in my head that I haven’t heard for a while, I’m very loud but blunt, cut throat and quick. Very much wanting to come forward, I’m trying to keep positive though.

The sweetness of doing nothing.

When I’m triggered and it turns to irritation and anger, it’s like I’m pacing back and forth in my head wondering why someone would do this harm to me, immediate victim complex. I feel stuck still, unable to move, usually scrolling vigorously is the only thing that can keep me calm and level headed, so I just did that but it’s so irritating holy fuck. I just don’t like being yelled at and i can just see a system going on like my dad yelled at me coz he thought I didn’t do something because when he walked in my mum was doing it AGAIN, and I was like no I did it lol, and then I still get screamed at and made feel like shit and it’s not like my mum would be on my side and say ‘no I’m just doing it again because we’re about to have visitors’ and she’s crazy fkn ODC but whatever. It’s my fault, and now I leave everything for my mum to just do herself apparently, walking around saying ‘ugh I’ll just do it myself’ like what do you mean I’ve been doing the house all morning the house was not a mess when you walked in, you didn’t complain about a messy house you just did what you always do and clean bc your anxious. I’m on the verge of tears bc of this shit holy fuck man, I’ve got a whole ass frog in my throat over some silly ass trigger, it’s so stupid. The feeling I feel when I’m getting attacked by my parents is ummmm….. I don’t know. Lol. It’s like I’m 16 again with no rights lol. I know it’s something so small, but it effects me, but because it effects only me, I should only really be dealing with these issues by myself, so I never let it out towards them and I keep it chill on the outside, but that causes me to freeze. So now I need to figure out a way to deal with it without taking it out on myself and feeling the guilt and anxiety to an extreme, I guess the answer is to write ✍️ I guess the answer for everything lately has been to write, my mum is hoping that by me expressing my feelings and shit thru a blog might help someone else who is feeling so much alone.

I’m happy now, I have a full vape, a clean 50, and WORK tomorrow! I’m grateful I have been more open to phone calls, because that is what I can thank myself for being able to go to work tomorrow, I’m really excited, a lil anxious, maybe it’s just excitement, I’m ready, and I’m so excited for the other things this job is going to give me. As well as coming to the full acceptance of me being single for maybe the rest of my life, I’m excited to see my life in my career, in my study in my work. I’ve been love lead for my entire life, but my version of love is unobtainable, instead I can find ways to give it to myself, since I have the power of the source. I’m ready to get rich, or die trying.

i was so excited… coming back into the music world, to start writing again producing just fan having that feeling of making amazing shit that you really love like, I love that sahit, when I came to the not pad however my rhymes were so whack literally like I was blank. I just gotta keep that ball rolling coz this verse I’m tweaking now is fun good shit cuz, its diff weirdly, and thats all goods coz it sounds gangsta, and I love it.

The version of myself I want to step into, has her routine and positive attitude and goals and is sorted absolutely content and happy with the over flowing of money in my bank account, good coping mechanism and the space to relax and appreciate every single moment and what it ultimately brings me (my manifestations) I am it already, the independence , the growth, the knowledge.

I need balance other wise I get burnt out. By healing I’m hoping to get better and better every day, and I know there’s milestones in healing and those are what I’m trying to accomplish so I can live my most free life. Focus on the journey… not the outcome, okay, so that’s what I’m trying to do right now…… focus on the journey, not the outcome, have faith that the outcome will be the best outcome possible for my journey and I let it go into the universe, while I focus on the journey.

Do I just have to not scratch that itch to check if my ex messaged me? Is that literally all I need to do? Okay I guess :)

I have come to realise I need to balance my material and emotional lives, I’m unhinged, lol, I don’t think I actually am I just felt like that was the right word, so maybe I am right.

I sometimes think if someone else can’t do it for me, I can’t do it for myself either, is that a self worth issue? Or am I scared of being judged for doing something first? That way of thinking wastes so many opportunities and ways of life.

[wavbleu]

for all my fellow black girls muah muah<3

Vinnie hacker: A little spice

Tw: raceplay , slaveplay , whips , degradation , usage of the nword<3

(NAH IM JUST JOKING SIDJSJ)

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Vinnie and you have been coworkers ,  you have been working at a small (yet busy) ice cream shop called "Scoops of joy".  Since the store was fairly small and could only house up to 5-7 employees, Vinnie was the only person there who wasn't over 30 and was actually somewhere near your age. Obviously you became 'friends' and sooner or later grew close. He always takes you home (since you don't have a car) and offers you to go to fun places with him. Downside, you get into silly fights about stupid useless things , like who gets the last ice cream cone or who gets the attractive customer.

Occasionally you would even fight to the death with the left over ice cream and whip cream and have gotten threats of getting fired multiple times.

Now you have a cute little love hate relationship where you get on each others nerves, But you like it. A little to much perhaps?

~~~~~

"Vinnie, shut the hell up." You'd say angrily as Vinnie kept irritating you with the "Sweet chocolate Nubian princess" shit. Its a small inside joke between you two ever since a middle aged white guy called you a "Beautiful chocolate Nubian queen."

"Im so sorry my chocolate cocoa mocha Nubian African goddess princess." He giggled before dodging your swing at him, he  giggled as you chased him around the parking lot hitting him before you finally had enough and took a seat on the curb.

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Its become a religious thing for you two to hang outside of the store after a long day of work and just talk, you'd take a couple of ice creams then just sit on the parking lot curb  and overlook the dark night.

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You'd sit back down on the sidewalks curb and pick up your plastic , flimsy spoon to begin eating your vanilla ice cream, you looked up at the beautiful full moon that shined  and glistened over the both of you .

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"Isnt it pretty?" You exclaim.

"Uhh yea."Vinnie caught himself staring at you as you sparkled under the moonlight giving you an ethreal and unreal look. You even made the Beautiful full moon look glum .

"You feel crazy yet?"He says,attempting to make conversation out of the pure silence, glimpsing at the moon then down at you.

"What?" You tilted your head at him confused.

"The full moons suppose to make you crazy."He explains.

"Can it make you stressed out of your mind to?" You sigh.

"Why are you stressed?"

He says in a concerned tone, turning his body to you.

"Well" You began before a cold breezy wind hit you , making you shiver as a reaction . You tried to carry on as if you weren't chilly but failed miserably at it .

"Your cold." He mutters rubbing your knee gently.

"Wanna go to my car? It heats up fast " He smiles, warming your heart.

You nod , he put his hand out for you to grab so you can get up; Although it wasn't much and was just out of kindness , but the size comparison of your hand to Vinnie's , the soft warmth , and firm grab of his hand still managed to give you butterflies.

You allowed him to take you by the hand to his Vehicle. Kindly, He opened the door for you to enter the passenger seat.

"I know how to open doors, Vinnie" You said in a bothersome tone although you secretly appreciated it.

"Its called being a gentleman , Y/n" He responded in a mocking tone.

You took a seat in the car as Vinnie closed the door heavily, scaring you and making you flinch.

"Gah damn" You say under your breath.

You watched Vinnie go around the car to the drivers seat and also closed the door heavily on his side to.

"Bitch you finna break your door." You exclaim .

"It'll live." He says shooing the problem away.

"Anyways whats wrong with  you. Tell me whats wrong ."  Vinnie said in a caring and empathetic tone, turning all his attention and focus to your face and  your voice.

"Its nothing much honestly, just been stressed out." You continue.

"My family has been struggling with money after my mom lost her job, now i have to pick up extra shifts here. I hardly even have time to do homework or go out and have fun and be a fucking teenager. Like i have to cram in all my studies and homework in those gross ass bathrooms because i don't have time to do it at home since im cleaning and taking care of some snot nosed kids that ain't even mines."

"I make all the money and im probably gonna be the sole provider of my house till my mom finds a job. Or until my dad comes back from his trucking thing."  You look down at your melting ice cream while picking and playing at it with the spoon.

"Its just kind of tiring y'know.. like who knew food was so expensive? Or that Calculating your monthly spend gives you goosebumps and grey hairs." Your eyes started to tear up, vision getting foggy and blurry from the tears. Your voice broke and you were clearly super distressed.

"Hey hey... look at me." Vinnie said with worrisome in his voice, he'd rub your knee for comfort before you leaped in  and gave him a tight hug.

Vinnie wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly and affectionately. "Id do anything to release the stress from you right now" 

You sniffed as you didn't know Vinnie could actually be so kind, or tolerable even. You felt a small peck on your forehead as Vinnie kissed your forehead lovingly.

"You are incredible . Smart. Marvelous. Beautiful..." Vinnie mumbled the last part under his breath hoping you didn't hear, but oh you heard. You propped up from his arms and decided to tease him about it.

"You think Im pretty?" You'd bat and flutter your eyelashes at him, puckered up your lips and poked your cheeks, hoping to brighten up the gloomy and sad mood.

Vinnie laughed as he watched you pose and stunt and make cute adorable faces; Watching you made his face redder than a rose.

He licked his lips and smirked as your poses began to get a little sexual.

You'd squeeze your boobs together and do a kissy face before  asking.. "Do you think im sexy to?" You tease and giggle before looking him in the eyes, awaiting your answer.

"You know how sexy you are." He said in a low-tone and mellow voice , glancing at your lips before grasping you by the neck and attaching himself to them.

You kissed him back, grasping and caressing his golden blonde hair.

You licked his lips signifying that you wanted to tongue and he accepted it, your tongues rolled over each other and swirled, exchanging spits.

You took turns sucking and kissing on each others top and bottom lips, you both felt like two contrasting magnets stuck together, to mesmerized by each other to pull away.

You looked down at his hardening dick and took the chance to grope and softly stroke it through his pants. You felt his cock throb through his thick khaki pants, His breath quickened and hassled before he abruptly broke the kiss, leaving a trail of spit. 

"Fuck baby can we please go to the back?"  He'd speak with a needy tone  , wanting you already.

You quickly hopped to the back of the car while Vinnie entered through the back door. You pulled Vinnie by his cute striped tie as he towered himself over you, Kissing you a little more before he looked down on your perfect body and bit his lip.

"Do you want me to f*ck you?" He asked in a low and comfortable tone, while slowly lowering himself to your area, unbuttoning your pants. "Yes please~" You'd consent in a sexy tone, watching him quickly pull of your pants and throw them on the car floor.  He nibbled on your thighs and lightly placed kisses on them.

He opened your legs and sternly demanded you to keep them open. he slowly pulled off your soaked white panties and threw them to the side. He spread your lips apart and linked his mouth to your cl*t.

Going slow at first then speeding it up. Swirling his tongue all around your sensitive clit while looking up at your moaning face.

He  sucked on your clit softly grasping onto your thighs holding them apart.   He slowly slid in his middle finger and fingered you curling it and rubbing your g-spot , making you slip out a few more moans.

"You taste so good~" He compliments continued to lick your sweet pussy.

He managed to work in a second finger, you let out a loud gasp while your legs closed as a reflex. He forcefully re-opened your legs, making them shake a bit. "You heard me, legs open." ,"I wanna make you feel good." He says before going back down and attacking your clit.

Your loud and sexy moans filled the car rapidly, hopefully no one was near because you could probably be heard from down the road. "Do me a favor baby, cum all over my face." He murmurs while speeding up his fingering and licking pace.

You arched your back in pure pleasure and grabbed and firmly grabbed his hair making him stay in that spot. Vinnie ruthlessly fucked your tight hole with his two fingers while sucking on your throbbing clit. You loudly moaned as you felt a familiar knot grow and form in your stomach.

"Atta girl~" He encourages as he feels that knot too. "Fuck!" you threw you head back and squirted, you watch Vinnie continue to finger you wanting all of those precious juices out.

"Mmmmm..." He growled as he witnessed you climax all over him and his chest. "Im sorry-" You felt ashamed of the mess you made, all on the car roof, on Vinnie's shirt and even you.

But Vinnie got off to you being like this, a little messy whore. "All good babygirl." He replied.

He started taking off his khakis and throwing them on the floor and loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt but not fully taking it off.

"Ride me."He says beginning to lay down; you crawl and sit right on top of him, right before his dick.

You decided to let your long box braids down from the tight bun they were once in. You seductively pulled the hair tie out of your hair and let your long box braids fall to your sides and back. Vinnie threw his head back, "fuck you are so sexy." He erotically whispered.

You slowly rubbed your wet pussy against his dick , looking down at him; watching him softly moan your name made you even more wet than before. Every time it hit your clit, you would teasingly let out a soft and sexy moan. "Please dont tease me." Vinnie would bite his lip before eagerly grabbing your hips and inserting his long, hardening cock into you.

You'd both let out a small gasp as it all happened out of the blue, you moaned as his big dick quickly filled up your small hole clenching around it and giving him complete euphoria.

You grabbed onto the front seat to maintain balance and composure as Vinnie savagely fucked your tight pussy with no remorse . You felt his dick curl and throb inside you , Hitting every spot you wanted him to.

Vinnie occasionally let out deep loud growls as he kept using you and fucking you hardly.

You let out a sexually stimulating moan as he  grabbed your hips, digging his dull nails into them and slammed down onto his girthy , long, 8inch dick.

Petty, you dig your red acrylics into his muscular shoulders.

"Yea you like that don't you? Dirty bitch." He hypothetically asked, then slapped your ass letting it jiggle.  You felt yourself about to finish before Vinnie unexpectedly flipped you and put you onto all fours.

"Can i?" He kindly asks, offering to pull your braids. "Mhm." You quickly and impatiently let out. "Great." He mutters before pulling your hair back and forcing himself back into you.

You threw your ass back onto him letting out small moans and mumbling curse words under your breath; Vinnie pulled your hair and  fucked his dick into your small hole, making your ass clap onto him. He liked that.

He'd pull you back by your hair and growl into your ear as he was close to cumming.

He got a little too aggressive and put your head back onto the seat and began to press down on your mid back and go deeper. You let out loud, deepening moans as you felt that knot form in your stomach again, he rocked your shit, fucking you so hard that the car was shaking aswell.

"Cum on me baby thats it.." He lightly begged for your sweet juices to be on him continuously , His dick throbbed and his balls slapped your clit , his hard strokes falling sloppy.

You grabbed onto the seat preparing yourself for your powerful orgasm, you clenched yourself around him and moaned "Fuck yes just like that~" as his dick hit your g-spot just in the right place.

"Cum fuck cum~" He growls holding himself back from cumming as well. You loudly released yourself onto his dick , your legs started to judder and shake making poor old Vinnie finish not so soon after, he fucked every bit of cum deep into your limp and tired body  then allowing himself to fall onto your back. 

"Shit.." He groans into your ear, beginning to rub your quivering legs. "You came hella hard chocolate nubian queen huh ?" He giggled and you giggled to.

"You get on my nerves." you sarcastically say

"You like it though."  he mumbles   before placing small kisses onto your shoulders.

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(edited 🌚🌝)

A/n :

I genuinely enjoyed writing this, sorry for the inactivity , and 2nd part of the highly requested jordan powell random is coming up. You prepared for a deep throat? ;)