#ITS ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE AND LOSS ITS FUNNY ITS EMOTIONAL IT'S BEAUTIFUL

[leezuhh]

more people need to play shtdn this is literally critical im going insane

[goldfades]

joe dealing w pregnant reader who cries all the time cause yk the hormonesss

Joe had been through enough seasons to know how to handle pressure. He’d stared down defenses, taken hits that rattled his ribs, and played through pain most people couldn’t imagine. But this? This was something else entirely.

This was his wife—his beautiful, stubborn, currently very pregnant wife—crying into a bowl of mac and cheese at the kitchen counter.

Joe leaned against the fridge, arms crossed, watching her with a mix of concern and amusement. He wasn’t sure what had set her off this time. Could’ve been the way the cheese didn’t melt quite right. Could’ve been the cat looking at her too intensely. Could’ve been, as she’d said last night between sniffles, just everything, Joe.

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong, baby?” he asked, voice careful, gentle, like approaching a skittish deer.

She sniffled, lifting her head just enough for him to see the glassiness in her eyes. “It’s just—” She let out a dramatic exhale, her hand resting on the swell of her belly. “I don’t even know! I saw a video of a baby giggling, and then I thought about our baby giggling, and then I thought, what if they never giggle, Joe? What if they’re just a serious baby who never laughs?”

Joe pressed his lips together, nodding like this was a completely reasonable thing to be distraught over. “A serious baby, huh?”

She nodded back, lower lip trembling. “Like—like they just stare at people all the time. What if they don’t even think I’m funny?”

Joe pushed off the fridge, walking over to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Baby, no child of yours is gonna be that serious.”

Her voice wobbled. “You think so?”

“I know so.” He ran a soothing hand up and down her back. “I mean, look at you right now. Crying over mac and cheese and imaginary serious babies. That’s not exactly a stoic household we got goin’ here.”

That earned him a wet, half-hearted laugh against his chest, her fingers curling into his hoodie. “I feel ridiculous.”

“Nah,” Joe murmured, smiling into her hair. “You’re just pregnant.”

Joe had never considered himself an overly emotional guy. Sure, he felt things deeply—he loved hard, played harder, and had his fair share of moments where a win or a loss sat heavy in his chest—but this? This was a whole new ballgame. His wife, the love of his life, was crying over mac and cheese at 2:30 p.m. on a Wednesday because she was afraid their unborn child wouldn’t think she was funny.

And the thing was—this wasn’t even the first time she’d cried that week.

No, this was just another tally on a growing list of things that had brought her to tears. At first, Joe had been concerned. The first time it happened, he’d rushed home from practice when she called him sobbing, thinking something was actually wrong. He’d barely been able to make out her words between hiccups, and his heart had been in his throat the entire drive back.

He had all but sprinted through the front door only to find her curled up on the couch, wrapped in one of his hoodies, tears streaming down her face as she pointed at the TV.

“Look at them, Joe!” she had wailed, gesturing wildly.

He had followed her gaze to the screen, where a baby elephant was struggling to climb over a small ledge, its little legs flailing before its mother came to the rescue.

Joe had blinked. “Is that what I think it is?”

She had turned to him, her face crumpling even more. “It’s an elephant, Joe.”

“Yeah, I see that.” He had hesitated. “Did something... happen to it?”

“No!” she had sobbed. “But look how small it is!”

That had been the first time Joe realized what he was in for. That was weeks ago now, and he had since learned to navigate the emotional minefield that was his pregnant wife. He loved her more than anything, and God help him, he would stand by her side through every mood swing, but he had to admit—it was exhausting.

Thursday: She cried in the car because she saw an older couple holding hands while crossing the street.

Joe had been driving them home from dinner when she let out a dramatic gasp, her hand smacking his thigh. “Oh my God.”

His eyes immediately flicked to the road. “What? What happened?”

She twisted in her seat, staring out the window with watery eyes. “They’re so old, Joe. And they’re still holding hands.”

Joe, relieved that there wasn’t an actual emergency, squeezed the steering wheel and nodded. “That’s sweet.”

She sniffled. “What if we don’t make it that long?”

Joe exhaled slowly through his nose. “Baby, we’re gonna make it that long.”

“But what if—”

“—we will,” he said firmly, reaching for her hand. “You think I’m goin’ anywhere?”

She shook her head, squeezing his fingers like a lifeline. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

She had sniffled the whole way home, and Joe had pulled over at a gas station just to buy her a Slushie, which seemed to help.

Friday: She cried while folding baby clothes because they were so tiny.

Joe had been minding his business, sitting on the couch reviewing game footage, when he heard a sudden gasp from the laundry room. He turned his head just in time to see her stumble out, a baby onesie clutched in her hands, her lip wobbling.

“Joe,” she whimpered, holding it up for him to see. “Look.”

Joe squinted. “Is that the—”

“It’s so small.” Her voice cracked.

Joe sat up, rubbing his chin. “Yeah, it is.”

She let out a weak sob. “What if they don’t stay this small?”

“Well, that’s kinda how babies work,” he said gently.

She ignored him, running her fingers over the tiny fabric like it held the meaning of life. “One day, they’re gonna grow up, and they’re not gonna be this little anymore.”

Joe sighed, patting the couch beside him. “C’mere.”

She trudged over, curling into his side as he kissed the top of her head. “I just want time to slow down.”

Joe smiled, rubbing her arm. “They’re not even here yet, baby. You got time.”

Saturday: She cried because the cat looked sad.

Joe had just walked into the living room when he found her kneeling on the floor in front of their cat, hands cradling his furry face.

“Oh, buddy,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Joe froze. “What’s wrong with him?”

She turned, her eyes glassy. “He looks so sad, Joe.”

Joe squatted beside them, inspecting their fat black cat whom they had adopted during their first year in Cincinnati, who seemed perfectly fine. “He looks… normal?”

She shook her head, burying her face in the cat’s fur. “He can feel that something’s changing. He knows he’s not gonna be the baby anymore.”

Joe sighed, reaching over to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “Baby, he’s a cat. He’s still gonna get plenty of love.”

She sniffled. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

By Sunday, Joe had a system.

He had learned that the best way to handle these crying spells was a mix of patience, snacks, and an occasional distraction. He had learned that, sometimes, she just needed to let it out, and his job wasn’t always to fix it—but to be there.

So when he walked into the kitchen that morning and found her staring at her phone, tears welling in her eyes, he didn’t panic. He didn’t even ask.

Instead, he walked over, wrapped his arms around her from behind, and rested his chin on her shoulder. “What’s got you this time?”

She let out a watery sigh, tilting her phone so he could see. “It’s a video of a baby hearing their mom’s voice for the first time with hearing aids.”

Joe pressed a kiss to her temple, smiling. “That is pretty sweet.”

She sniffled. “I just love babies, Joe.”

Joe tightened his hold on her, resting his hands over the curve of her belly. “I know, baby. Good thing we’re havin’ one, huh?”

She turned in his arms, burying her face in his hoodie, and let out another soft sob. “I just love you.”

Joe grinned, swaying her gently. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

And just like that, he had her laughing through her tears.

[aurorawritestoescape]

THE OTHER BROTHER

Johnny Miller (Joel’s twin) x f!reader | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you’re in love with your neighbor Joel but he doesn’t notice you. After another failure to get his attention, someone unexpected offers their help - Joel’s twin brother, Johnny.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, angst, twin au, age gap (Joel and Johnny are in their 30s, reader is in her early 20s), pining, unrequited love, heartbreak, hurt/comfort/hurt/comfort?, virginity loss, insecure reader, soft Johnny, praise kink, size kink, f!oral, breast play, unprotected piv (wrap it up), belly bulge, aftercare, kinda hopeful ending. Pics are only for the mood, reader has no physical description but she wears a dress.

Word count: 7,6 k

A/n: Kate, are Joel and Tommy not enough for you?! Nope, I need one more Miller bro!! I was inspired by Aly’s/ @iamasaddie post and Mina’s / @evolnoomym comment💕💕 Idk whose edit it is, lmk if you do, so I could send my kudos. That edit did something to me. Hope y’all will like the story!💖 Kisses to @milla-frenchy for betaing💋 Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

MASTERLIST

You walked into Joel’s backyard with hope, carrying you on its wings, and excitement, twisting your stomach. A cute summer dress, open sandals, accessories— everything had been planned out and thought over lots of times beforehand. It was your chance to get him to notice you, to finally see you as a woman and not only as his neighbors’ daughter.

You had attended Joel’s barbecues every summer since a few years back when your family had moved on that street. Almost instantly you had fallen in love with your middle aged neighbor Joel. He was handsome, funny, polite, very charming and on top of everything a single parent. Joel seemed to be a wonderful father. You weren’t friends with Sarah, but it wasn’t hard to notice the way they connected. They had that heartwarming father-daughter bond that you and your dad for some reason had never had.

You couldn’t think of anyone else but him. You had thought that leaving for college might have helped but it hadn’t. No one could compare to the perfect Joel Miller. Unfortunately you were just a girl for him. He was always polite and warm but his gaze would always slide over you. You had been crying and yearning for his love for years but it had felt as unreachable as the stars over your head. Unattainable dream.

Thinking that you had nothing to lose, you decided to try your luck once more. You had come back home for a summer break, and after a long time away from your parents you felt mature and confident enough to make Joel notice you. So you stepped into his backyard with a set goal in your mind—to win Joel Miller’s heart.

You found your parents among the other guests and joined them, before searching the backyard for a pair of beautiful brown eyes. Of course Joel was handling the grill. Butterflies in your stomach swirled in excitement, your heartbeat increased but the initial joy of seeing the man of your dreams evaporated instantly, when you noticed that he wasn't alone. His strong arm was wrapped around a waist of a beautiful woman. She was laughing and talking to him, and when Joel leaned down to gently kiss her lips, your heart shattered into a million pieces.

"What's wrong, honey?"

You tried to control your emotions when you heard your mom's voice but it was next to impossible. Upcoming tears squeezed your throat, your lower lip began trembling.

You shook your head and hastily turned away from the sight that set your butterflies on fire - the love of your life was kissing another woman.

“I’m ok,” you lied. “just something in my eye.”

You tried to cover your tears with your hand, and your mom stepped up closer to you, about to offer help but suddenly you heard a deep voice to your right.

“Hey. Don’t think we’ve met.”

Wetness was coating your eyes, distorting your sight, and you barely glanced at the man, who came up to your parents and you, and mumbled,

“Excuse me... I need…need to use the bathroom.”

You rushed away, your parents calling after you but you didn’t stop. You were full on crying.

You ran through Joel’s kitchen and hall and rushed to your house.

You were walking up the stairs of the porch when you heard someone shout behind you,

“Hey, wait!”

You turned around, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand, and what you saw made your jaw drop. Or rather who you saw.

It was Joel. At least you thought so at first. The man looked exactly like your crush but he was dressed differently— Joel whom you had seen five minutes ago was wearing a dark tee while his doppelganger had a plaid green shirt on with a white tee underneath. But the most striking difference was his hair- he had a short buzz cut contrary to Joel’s dark curls. His hair was lighter than his twin’s, just like his eyes.

The stranger came up to you slowly, his expression full of concern and sympathy. You were so flabbergasted that you forgot to hide your reddened eyes and wet face and were staring at the man with your mouth agape.

“I’m Johnny. Joel’s brother. I wanted to make sure ya fine.”

You continued staring at the man, completely lost for words and he talked again,

“I’m his twin brother,” he added, noticing your surprise. “I guess he doesn’t talk much about me, huh?” The stranger smiled as you shook your head.

“Wanna sit down?”

He motioned to the porch bench and you should have probably said ‘no’ and gone to your room to cry your eyes out but a few last minutes were so surreal and emotional that you couldn’t think straight anymore. You nodded. The man followed you there, took a seat at a respectable distance from you, his body turned to you slightly. You were staring at your hands, not sure what to talk about with your new acquaintance.

For a few moments you two were sitting in silence until you remembered the way Joel had been looking at the woman and a pathetic sob crawled up your throat.

“I don’t like her either,” Johnny said and your teary eyes snapped up at him.

“Hm?”

“His new girl. Too bossy. I’m not a fan.”

“I -I don’t… ’don’t like her’. I don’t know her at all,” you croaked.

“Yeah, but you like him, right?”

Your stomach dropped and you faked an awkward laugh, shaking your head.

“No, no, I don’t.”

“Quit lyin’, girl. I’m not dumb. I saw you waltz in there with a happy smile and then when you saw them...Damn, poor thing. Unless you’re in love with her but—,” he chuckled and you hastily shook your head again, waving your hands in protest.

“I don’t love him, oh my god!”

“Ok, ok. Keep denyin’ it. You can watch him get married and have a bunch of kids then.”

When you heard his words your heart froze and, not being able to hide your feelings, you broke into tears, covering your face with your hands.

“Fuck.” The man immediately scooted closer to you and placed his arm around your shoulders.

“’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ve been harsh. Maybe I’m a fool and you just had a bad day, that’s all.”

“No, no, you’re right. I do! I do love him,” you confessed in between sobs.

For a few moments you were crying and Johnny was rubbing your arm with his big hand until he spoke softly,

“You seem like a nice girl. Beautiful, sweet. Have you tried makin‘ him interested?”

You raised your teary eyes at the man and for some weird reason you admitted to him that you had fallen in love with Joel a long time ago but he had never noticed you.

“My brother sounds like an idiot. Look at you. You’re hot, baby.”

You smiled and dropped your eyes.

“And your smile is fuckin’ gorgeous.”

You felt warmth spread in your belly when the man put his finger under your chin and tilted your head up to face him.

You looked at him attentively, taking in every feature of his familiar yet novice face, and noticed that he was as handsome as Joel. His skin was more tan and his eyes were lighter, a mixture of hazel and green, and your heart fluttered at his beauty.

“Do you wanna get ‘im?”

Now it was your turn to laugh.

“Get him?”

“Yeah. First you need to make him notice you.”

“But he has a girlfriend,” you mumbled with defeat ringing in your words.

“So? She ain’t his wife. He can dump her whenever.”

You were quiet.

“Listen. I can get you into this house. Into his life. He’ll see you often and I bet he’ll notice the fuck out of such a hottie.”

You felt your cheeks heat up when you glanced at him and asked,

“How would you do that?”

The man winked at you with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

“Let’s pretend that you and I are going out.”

You giggled, thinking it was a joke, but Johnny kept talking and you realized that he was absolutely serious.

“I’m stayin’ with him right now. We’ll spend a lot of time in his house. He’ll notice you and then fall in love with you in no time.”

“I’m not sure he will. I’m too shy,” you admitted.

“He loves shy girls. And even if you ain’t very talkative. Damn, look at you. You’re hot. And I’ll wingman the fuck out of you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Brothers share everything. Like, “Bro, yesterday she rocked my world. Her mouth’s heaven. And then she rode me! Damn, she’s the best I ever had. See?”

You were blinking at him with an open mouth and burning up cheeks. When you heard his filthy words you couldn’t help but gush into your panties. Johnny didn’t seem to hold back.

“He’ll be hard over you immediately.”

You furrowed your brows and asked,

“But isn’t there a bro code or something? that you can’t date your brothers’ ex girlfriends?”

“Nah, we don’t follow that.” Johnny waved away your concerns with his big hand. “We dated the same girls all the time in school. What’s good for me’s good for him, right?”

You didn’t know what to think. Johnny's idea was crazy but all of his arguments made a lot of sense. And you were desperate.

“Ok. We can try I guess,” you said, nervously fumbling with the hem of your dress.

“Fuck yeah we can!”

He gave you a charming smile and you smiled back, feeling a little better.

“But my parents can’t know, ok? I’ll tell them I’m with friends.”

“No problem. It’s fake anyway so no reason to make ‘em worry. But—,” he paused, his expression turning serious, — If we want it to work, we need to spend time together beforehand. It’ll help you to get comfortable around me, yeah? to make it believable.”

You nodded, trying to understand what he meant by ‘spend time’.

“Wanna do it now? Let’s hang out in your room. For some time.”

“Aren’t they gonna look for you?” You asked, glancing back at Joel’s house.

“I’m a big boy, baby, I don’t need to tell anyone where I’m goin’.” Johnny replied with a wink.

“Oh yeah, right.”

You got up and headed to the door. Your accomplice followed you, and when you were walking upstairs, you turned to him.

“Johnny, if my parents come early, they can’t see you ok?”

“No problem, I’ll hide in a closet,” he chuckled and gave you another wink.

When you entered your bedroom, Johnny looked around and took his flannel off. He was standing in the middle of your room, white tee stretched over his broad chest, his muscles bulging out of the short sleeves. He rolled them up, exposing more of his arms, and you swallowed loudly. He was bigger than Joel and in your small room he looked so huge and tall, that you felt your core burn.

“Cosy,” Johnny said, walking to your bed and plopped on it unceremoniously. He leaned his back against the headboard, his booted feet hanging off the edge. You were staring at him awkwardly, not knowing if you should sit next to him. Getting on the bed with practically a stranger was not something you could do easily.

So you sat down on a chair by your desk.

"Nah-uh. Get over ‘ere, bunny." He shook his head and patted the space next to him on the bed.

"Ehm... I don't know."

"Jesus, I don't bite. You need to get used to bein’ close to me. Joel isn't stupid. He'll sense that something's fishy if you're skittish like that."

You couldn't deny that he was right. So you came up to the other side of the bed and settled next to him.

"Wanna tell me a bit about yourself, beautiful?" he asked, flashing you a charming smile.

You felt your cheeks burn but after a moment of hesitation, you began telling him about your hobbies, your friends and your plans after graduation. He didn't interrupt you. He asked a few questions but mostly he was just nodding, listening to you attentively. A few times his gaze slid down to your lips, your cleavage, your naked legs, crossed at the ankles.

His eyes were leaving a pleasant heat in their wake until your whole body lit up and a constant warmth settled between your legs. Your pussy was tingling only from you being next to your new acquaintance, hearing his scent, masculine and enticing, seeing him smile at your words. His hazel eyes were getting darker the longer you talked, the more he looked at you.

“What about you, Johnny? What do you do?” You asked, wishing to learn more about the man you were about to fake date.

He averted his eyes and rubbed his scruffy cheek.

”It’s complicated, baby. I’d tell you if you were my girlfriend. For real I mean. But —.” He looked at you with an apologetic smile.

“Oh,” is all you could say in return, blinking at him.

“I can tell you that I travel a lot. ‘s prolly why we’ve never met. I can’t often visit Joel and Sarah.”

It got silent in the room for a moment except for the sound of birds’ chirping, coming through an open window.

“Do you wanna watch something?“ you asked, suddenly feeling awkward.

“Yeah, ‘k.” Johnny took his boots off and placed his feet on the bed. You marveled at how quickly he seemed to get comfortable but decided that he was just that easy-going.

You took your laptop and asked what he wanted to watch.

“Whatever you want, beautiful.”

You smiled at the compliment and your chest fluttered.

”We can watch The Office. It always relaxes me.”

“Yeah, I really wanna see you relaxed, bunny,” he smirked and you stuck your tongue out at him.

A few minutes later you were on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, watching a random episode of the Office that you put on.

Soon Johnny slid down the bedspread and placed his head on your pillow.

“C’mere,” he mumbled, pulling you down with him.

You didn’t know how and why you let him but soon his hand was wrapped around your shoulder and your head was resting on his broad chest.

He was warm and big and you felt your panties dampen more.

“I like that guy,” he commented after some time of watching.

“Ryan? He’s kind of a douche,” you giggled.

“Really?” Johnny hummed.

You continued watching the show, sometimes chuckling from time to time. Once Johnny absentmindedly bucked his hips up and your gaze involuntarily landed on a prominent bulge in his jeans. And then a few times on purpose.

Getting too turned on, you closed your eyes, trying to calm down the fire in your core. Unfortunately it got worse as without your eyesight your whole being concentrated on the strong arm resting heavily on you, on Johnny's scent, his steady, deep breathing.

“Baby?”

Johnny’s voice took you out of your horny trance and you hummed feeling your cheeks burn.

“Can you tell me something?”

“Yes?”

He sat up and you did the same, looking at him with confusion, trying to hide your arousal.

“Can you close your eyes and tell me if my voice is similar to Joel’s? People always answer differently. I wanna know what you think.”

You raised your brows.

“I can tell you right now. It’s similar. Very.”

“No, close your eyes, listen to it.”

You shrugged your shoulders and did what he asked, a little smile dancing on your lips.

“Hey, baby. You're very beautiful.” You smiled wider when you heard his gruff voice, squealing inside at the compliment.

”Thank you, Joel,” you laughed and added, “You sound just like him.” You opened your eyes but Johnny shook his head, motioning for you to shut them again. You did and heard the man sigh deeply.

“Ya know. I’ve been such a fool. I didn’t notice you before but now I see. How gorgeous you are. Crazy hot.”

Your smile vanished as you were listening to him, eyes closed, chewing on your lip. You had dreamed of hearing those words for such a long time that your heart could burst out of your chest at the moment.

“You have a girlfriend, Joel,” you whispered, playing along.

”She’s a mistake. Wish you could forgive me for not tellin’ you all this sooner… Wish I could rip this pretty dress off you and make you scream my name right now.”

Your breath hitched and a new surge of wetness made you squirm in your place.

“Wish I could kiss you right now.”

You instinctively wetted your lips, hearing his words, and the next second Johnny pressed his mouth to yours. You tensed up at first but in a second your body melted at the soft touch. Not opening your eyes, you tilted your head slightly to the side and parted your lips, inviting him in. Immediately Johnny’s tongue slipped inside and brushed yours, gently at first but then more assertively. He was swallowing your pleasured whimpers again and again as you were making out.

”Johnny, I can’t,” you murmured, pulling away and breaking the kiss.

You glanced at him and his expression took your breath away. He looked like he was ready to pounce on you any second. His eyes were burning with desire, lips glistened with your saliva and his broad chest was heaving, dangerously close to ripping his tee.

He visibly tried to calm himself down— he took a deep breath and then placed your hand between his.

“Yeah, fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.” His expression softened as his eyes were locked with yours.

“No, don’t be. It was nice but … but…”

You struggled to continue, the words got stuck in your throat.

Johnny’s eyes were darting between yours, as he was patiently waiting for you to continue.

Then you whispered, your voice barely audible, gaze downcast, “I’m a virgin.”

You expected any reaction but not the one he gave you.

“Fuck.”

Your eyes snapped up at him and tears immediately welled up in your eyes. Johnny looked straight up disappointed. He pulled away from you and your sob broke the icy silence in the room. You were always terrified to admit it to people, especially to men, and at that moment your worst nightmare was coming true.

“‘s bad,” Johnny mumbled, still not looking at you. “Shit.”

You were hurt but your pain quickly turned into anger.

“Please leave!”

As if finally having noticed your distress, Johnny turned to you, shaking his head.

“Oh fuck, no, no, I don’t mind. Shit. I think— it’s great—for whatever reason you—no. It’s Joel, baby.”

“What? What about Joel?” you asked, feeling a little better, when he took your hands in his and answered,

”He’s not a fan of virgins. Never was. He told me many times he didn’t want the responsibility of bein’ someone’s first.”

“Why?” You felt your heart shuttering again.

“Don’t know,” Johnny shrugged, ”I guess he prefers someone more experienced. Once he broke up with a girl when he found out she was a virgin.”

Now it was your turn to curse.

“Fuck.” You probably looked absolutely defeated and Johnny rapidly wrapped his arm around you to pull you to his torso.

You started silently crying on his shoulder, having realized that Joel would never love you, would never even give you a chance.

Johnny was rubbing your arm with his big warm hand while you were soaking his white tee with tears, until he said,

“You know, it’s not a big deal.”

You sniffed and sat up straight.

“What do you mean not a big deal?” your voice was shaky and small. “You’ve just said he hates virgins.”

Johnny lifted his hand to wipe your wet face with his thick fingers.

“Kinda easy to lose it, beautiful. Your v card.”

“No, it’s not. I wanted Joel to— to do it. I don’t want anyone else.”

You were pouting your lips, eyes reddened and teary staring at the man sitting close to you. In your blurry vision he looked even more like Joel.

”I can help you, bunny,” Johnny offered with a lopsided smile. He tilted his head to the side and waited for your reaction.

You swallowed loudly when you heard him and turned away. You couldn’t deny that Johnny was hot, your soaked panties were a good evidence of your desire for him but how could you do it with a man you had just met. Who wasn’t Joel.

Joel who had a girlfriend.

Joel who didn’t want to deal with virgins.

Joel who never noticed you.

You looked back at the twin brother of the man you loved and asked,

“Would you really do it for me?”

Johnny cleared his throat.

“Ehm… yeah, why wouldn’t I? You’re hot,” he said it so matter of fact-ly that it sounded sincere and you believed that he really wanted to help.

“Ok, good,” you said, with an air of uncertainty. “We can try but maybe not today, ok? We’ve just met,” you mumbled, fumbling with your fingers.

“Yeah. ‘Course,” Johnny smirked and then quickly added, “Did you like it when I kissed you?”

Not looking at the man you nodded.

“Want me to do it again?”

His question made your heart skip a beat. You had felt amazing when he had kissed you, your body reacted to him in a wonderful way and, after glancing up at his plush lips, you nodded the second time.

Johnny gently cupped your cheek and leaned towards you. His lips began caressing yours, your tongues tangled and, not breaking the kiss, you scooted closer to him on the bed. He read your intentions and pulled you into his big strong arms. His hand snaked up to the back of your head, the other was pressed to your lower back, keeping you close, as you were tasting him, feeling his heart thump against your chest. You were floating.

Soon his mouth slithered to your jaw and he nibbled on your skin there while his hands began roaming your body, gliding over your back, your arms until he squeezed your ass with his palms and you moaned into his mouth.

“Oh, baby, ya fuckin’ hot,” he groaned and you felt his lips suck a hickey into your neck while his hand snaked under your skirt. He engulfed your whole asscheek with his palm and your thin lacy panties easily let the heat of his skin seep through. You whimpered when the pads of his fingers glided down to your clothed pussy. Just one touch was enough for your brain to panic and you pulled away from him.

“Sorry, Johnny, it’s too much.”

You wanted to get off the bed, the whirlwind of emotions overwhelming you, but he grabbed you by the hand.

“Don’t leave. Please. Sorry, bunny. I went in too fast.“

You sat down on your heels, catching your breath and trying to calm down your foggy mind and burning up body.

“Let’s cuddle. C’mon. Jus’ wanna hold you.”

He returned your laptop to your desk and lay down on the bed that now seemed too small for his huge body. It made the whole situation even hotter.

A fear of the unknown and an immense desire were fighting in your heart, and you let the latter win, assuring yourself that you were just going to get used to him hugging you, so you could get close to Joel later.

That’s why you let him wrap his strong arms around you, let his face be inches from yours, let his hot breath fan your lips, let his scent intoxicate you. You were lying in his embrace for just a few moments before his lips found yours, and you didn’t fight it anymore, you welcomed their warmth.

He was more careful that time, slowly pulling you close to his body, but his hands didn’t wander. What was making you melt was his quiet words, seeping into your ears between kisses, barely audible through your soft whimpers, smacking of the lips and his breathing.

“Ya taste like honey—beautiful girl—Joel’s fuckin’ lucky—so pretty—could eat you whole, baby.”

Contrary to him, you were getting bolder and sent your hands roam his broad back, squeeze his masculine arms, glide over the slopes of his shoulders and then run through his short hair that pleasantly tickled your palms.

It was a matter of time before he slowly pushed you on your back and began kissing your neck. You tilted your head back into the pillow, giving him more access and he happily growled against your heated skin.

“Good girl,” you heard his praise and the ache of your pussy made you press your thighs together.

“Oh, Joe…Johnny,” you started and then hastily corrected yourself.

Johnny stopped nibbling on your collarbone and your heart froze, expecting him to get angry, but the man smiled at you.

“You can call me Joel, beautiful… to practice, yeah? Soon he’s gonna be the one kissin’ you.”

The suggestion sounded insane but in your aroused, overwhelmed with feelings state you let yourself imagine the man you loved caressing you with his lips. You fluttered your eyes shut and it was so easy to fantasize about Joel’s hand holding your hip and pressing you into the mattress, Joel’s lips peppering kisses along your neck and then going down, reaching the plush of your cleavage. Drowning in your fantasy you missed the moment Johnny’s chin pushed your neckline down, exposing more of your breasts. You rubbed your thighs against each other, chasing pressure on your tingling pussy, as his palm started kneading your tit over the fabric.

“Yeah, Joel,” you breathed out and didn’t stop yourself that time, fully succumbing to the want of your heart and body.

Your mind turned off completely, you were so gone in pleasure, that when you finally opened your eyes, to your surprise you saw Johnny’s hot tongue swirl around your pebbled nipple. A loud moan flew out of your parted lips as your hazy gaze took in the sight of your dress and bra pulled down and the man caressing your nipples, alternating between sucking and licking them, while your naked chest was heaving under his ministrations.

With his mouth almost engulfing your whole breast, Johnny glanced up at you and his blown out lustful eyes sent another bolt of arousal through your core.

“Johnny, please,” was all you could muster. He hummed into your tit before parting from it and searching for your glossy eyes.

“Do you like it when I do this?” He asked, his breath hitting your saliva coated skin, your nipples as hard as diamonds now. You mumbled a weak ’yeah’..

“Good. And have you ever had your pussy kissed, beautiful?”

You bit your lip, almost reaching your high just from hearing the question.

“No,” you whispered back and Johnny shot you a mysterious smile.

“Can I be the first, baby?”

“I— I don’t know,” you said hesitantly.

“C’mon, bunny. I wanna make you feel good. Wanna feel real good?”

The act seemed to you so intimate and vulnerable, just an idea of it made you anxious.

“Lil scared bunny,” he smiled and then wrapped his fingers around your naked breast, holding it in his hand. “Look.”

A second later his lips brushed your nipple again, his dark eyes locked with yours.

“Imagine the nipple is your little clit. I’ll jus’ lick it like that.”

His tongue stroked it, covering the sensitive bud in his saliva.

“Then I’ll suck on it like this.”

Johnny took it into his mouth and applied gentle suction to it.

“I’ll make you come so hard like that. It’s just another type of kissing, baby.”

You’ve never been turned on more than at that moment so after a few moments of consideration you shoved your fears away and whimpered,

“Ok.”

“Good girl.”

You hole clenched when you heard his praise. Johnny pulled the hem of his tee up and took it off.

Your breath hitched when you saw his strong chest and soft belly with a happy trail that led under his jeans. Johnny casually glided his hand over his strong torso and you bit your lip, not letting out another needy whimper.

“‘s getting too hot,” he mumbled and lay down between your thighs. His legs were hanging off the bed and you marveled at the muscles, flexing in his back and shoulders. You wondered if Joel’s body was as gorgeous as his twin brother’s. Of course it was, you thought.

The dress was still covering you and after a nod from you, Johnny lifted your skirt. Your hips flew up as if by themselves when he started sliding your panties off.

”Fuck, baby, this is the most beautiful pussy I’ve ever seen,” his soft voice praised you as you were lying in front of him, almost naked and trembling with nerves.

“Thank you,” you whispered back.

“Can’t wait to taste you.”

He spread your folds with his index finger and a thumb while his shoulders were keeping your thighs wider apart. Your pussy opened up to him like an offering.

“Pretty flower,” he commented and immediately did what he’d promised.

He licked your hardened clit, drawing a pathetic moan from you, and then lapped at it a few times. The sensations you were feeling were incomparable to anything you’d ever experienced. Your hand darted to your naked breasts and you began twitching your nipples.

“Fuck, yeah,” he mumbled against your sex and the vibrations sent shivers through your body.

Johnny smiled, having noticed your reaction, and began sucking on your bud, massaging it between his lips.

“Ahhh—oh my god—oh yeah,” was all you could mutter. When you were on the brink of ecstasy, his tongue slid down and snuck into your virginal hole. He began fucking you with it, spreading your walls with his flattened tongue and your needy screams, moans and whimpers filled the bedroom. You were sure that if someone was passing by your house, they’d hear the sounds of your pleasure but your mind was switched off, only the bliss between your legs and the man giving it to you mattered at that moment.

You tried to grab his hair but it was too short to hold on to so your palm pressed onto the back of his head as you were greedily holding Johnny's mouth against your pussy.

“Fuckin’ delicious. Can’t believe I’m first.”

With your glossed over gaze you watched him return his tongue to your throbbing clit and stroke it a few times, until your eyes rolled back and a hard orgasm exploded like fireworks inside your core, sending hot waves of euphoria through your body.

Johnny didn’t stop lapping at you until you tried to close your legs, the ache of overstimulation burning you.

He sat up and wiped his wet chin with the back of his hand, the other hand splayed over your thigh, gently rubbing it.

“Look at you, beautiful. Came hard for me, huh? Jus’ like I promised.”

He smiled at you, visibly pleased with your almost drunk post-orgasmic state. Your tits were out and slightly pushed up by the neckline, nipples puffy from his and your caress, your summer dress bunched up around your waist, your glistening pussy fully on display.

While your eyes were admiring the beauty of his features, so similar to Joel’s, you failed to notice his hands unzipping his jeans and pulling them down.

Your gaze darted to the lower part of his body when you spotted a movement there— his hard cock bobbing over your naked cunt.

It was long, quite thick, with a fat tip that was oozing clear precum. He stroked the shaft a couple of times with his big hand and grunted, “ya wanna make me feel good too, baby?”

As if by an instinct your thighs opened up wider, inviting him inside you, your mind clouded by lust.

“Yes, Johnny.”

“Nah, baby, call me Joel,” he gruffed as he bent down, planted his hands on the bed, next to your shoulders and added, ”I know you wanna. And I ain’t against role playing.”

“Really?”

“Sure, bunny.”

It was wrong. And so hot at the same time. You giggled, sound strained by the nerves, twisting your stomach. He was big and you had never imagined your first time happening with a man you’d just met. Yet your pussy was screaming to be pierced with a cock. His cock. You’d never been turned on that much in your life and you gave in to the temptation without a second thought.

His lips found yours at the same time his tip nudged your hole, and when his tongue slipped into your mouth, the head of his cock pushed assertively into you.

He swallowed your whine and paused, hovering over your face, your eyes locked.

“Shit, ya tight. But we can do it, yeah, bunny?”

”It hurts, Johnny.”

“Shhh, not Johnny, remember? C’mon, it’ll help you relax.”

“Joel.”

“Yeah, good girl.”

As if the name of the man you loved was magical, you walls relaxed a little, letting in a few inches of his brother’s manhood.

Johnny planted a light kiss on your lips and you felt his thumb graze your clit before he began gently rubbing it.

“Close your eyes, beautiful, let my cock taste your sweet cunt.”

“Oh, fuck, Joel,” you moaned, fully lost in the fantasy, and squeezed your eyelids shut.

“Now breathe. Big breaths, bunny.”

He was whispering praise into your ear, distracting you from the dull pain of the stretch, slowly pushing his length in while his thumb was swirling around your clit.

“Like that, beautiful—yeah, tight little cunt— the tip’s in—good, so good—a little more, baby—my good girl—fuck, it’s almost in—-YEAHHH..”

His triumphant growl mixed with your loud moan when his balls hit your ass and you felt full like never before.

As soon as he sheathed his manhood inside your warm tight cunt, your lips locked, and while your tongues were sliding against each other, you were trying to get used to the feeling of something so long and thick stuffed inside you.

Your walls soon accommodated his cock and the pain slowly dissipated, giving way to pleasure.

“Ima be gentle, baby,” Johnny promised, after breaking the kiss, and languidly rolled his hips into yours. The sensation of his big member moving inside your tight channel made you tilt your head back into the pillow and open your lips in a silent moan.

He didn’t lie. With one hand planted on the bed, the other playing with your clit, he was sliding his cock in and out of your sopping pussy, slowly but surely bringing you closer to the peak. Your greedy hands danced over the slopes of his strong chest, fingers digging into his biceps, nails leaving white marks on his tan skin.

“Yes, Joel—please—so good, Joel,” you were whispering, letting your broken heart believe that the man you had always dreamed about was between your legs at that moment.

Johnny’s greedy eyes couldn’t get enough of you- your lustful expression, your tits bouncing with each thrust, your folds, spread around his base.

“Ya have the wettest pussy, baby. Soakin’ me so good. Look at all that cream.”

With hazy eyes you watched him swipe his thumb over the base of his cock, coated in your pearly juices, and bring it to his lips. He took the finger in his mouth and hummed in pleasure.

Your tongue slid over your lower lip and, taking it as an invitation, Johnny kissed you, sharing the taste of your desire.

You were melting under his unhurried thrusts, but your core needed more and, too shy to ask for it, you began meeting his hips halfway, fucking yourself on his cock harder.

“Mmm, bunny wants more?” Johnny smirked into a corner of your lips.

“Yes, Joh—Joel, please.”

“Of course, beautiful. Let’s make this sweet pussy scream.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he sat up and pulled your hips to himself. You slid one the bed with a gasp and he chuckled before thrusting in harder.

His tip hit your cervix and you grasped the sheets with a moan.

“Hurts, baby?”

“A little.”

He shook his head, grabbed a spare pillow and, after lifting your hips, placed it under your ass.

“Now?” he asked as he pulled his cock out to the tip and then shoved it back inside.

You whimpered when his cock kissed something delicious inside you and the sensation made you clench around his stiff member.

“Like that, yes, yes,” you mumbled, sounding drunk, eyes set on the place where you were joined.

Johnny smiled and rolled his hips again, the stroke hard and deep, and then again and again until he was rutting into you while you were turning into a whimpering, cock-dumb mess.

When he tilted his hips up and drilled his manhood into your cunt, you both saw a bulge appear in your belly and you gasped at the sight. You’d never seen anything like it.

Not stopping, Johnny placed his palm over the lump and tilted his head, watching and feeling his cock move under your skin.

“Fuck, ‘s hot.” He looked mesmerized. “You’re hot, bunny. Shit, gonna come soon. Do it with me.”

His thumb continued dancing on your clit and it took just a few strokes for you to explode. Your pulsating pussy was flattering around his manhood, nerves ablaze, while your juices flooded him inside your core, soaking his hot, soft skin, stretched over his throbbing cock. It was the hardest, most pleasant orgasm of your life and the warmth between your legs spread out, filling your heart with gratitude and affection.

Johnny was unaware of your inner feelings, and as soon as your pussy relaxed around him, he pulled his cock out and after a couple of pumps, started painting your pussy and belly with pearly white ropes of his thick cum.

You watched his balls draw up, his slit push out the load like you’d never seen anything more beautiful. Endorphins in your blood made you feel like you were floating, your limbs pleasantly tingling, and when your eyes met, you gave Johnny a tired, satisfied smile.

He answered it with his lopsided one and plopped on the bed next to you. You were catching your breath for some time until he tucked his softening cock into his jeans, got up and went to the bathroom.

You felt like you couldn’t move a muscle and, when he returned, he helped you to clean up with a wet towel.

“I reckon you ain’t on the pill,” he mumbled, wiping the cum off your skin.

“No. I will be,” you said, glancing up at him but his eyes were set on the task.

When he was done, you reached for him.

“Wanna cuddle?”

To your disappointment Johnny shook his head, and grabbed his tee off the floor.

“Need to go, bunny. I have a thing.”

You sat up, fixing your wrinkled dress, covering yourself up.

“Ok.” Your voice, small and sad, made him pause and he stepped up to the bed and bent down, reaching for you.

His hand cupped your heated cheek and he kissed you before speaking.

“Let’s have dinner tomorrow. At Joel’s.”

You beamed at him, nodding eagerly.

Before leaving he wrote his number on a note and gave you a wink.

“Wear something hot for Joel. And for me.”

You barely slept that night— the memory of your first sex was playing on a loop in your head. Every time you closed your eyes, you felt Johnny’s hands on your body, his cock stretching you, and your pussy ached for him again. You made yourself come twice with your fingers and when the sun was already breaking through the inky sky, only then you fell asleep.

The next day you woke up early and texted Johnny ‘good morning’. He didn’t reply and you thought he must be still sleeping. So you busied yourself with preparations for the dinner— choosing the clothes to wear, makeup, accessories. You wanted to look casual but hot like Johnny had asked you. You decided on a pair of tight jeans and a sexy top and went to the kitchen.

You lied to your parents that in the evening you were meeting a friend. Like always after any party your mom was spilling out all the gossip she’d gathered the day before. Both you and your dad just hummed here and there, not really interested in the boring rumors but suddenly your ears perked up when she mentioned Joel’s twin brother.

”I can’t believe that man. No shame at all.”

She noticed that she finally had your active attention and her eyes lit up.

“What’s wrong with Johnny?” you asked, while fear was creeping up in your chest.

“He’s such a deadbeat brother. Poor Joel.”

It seemed like you stopped breathing altogether, listening to your mother talk about the man who had taken your virginity the day before. She continued,

“Johnny visits him once a year, borrows money and vanishes until the next time he needs it. Joel’s a single father! Working man! And that leach uses his kindness and generosity. Ugh!”

“How do you know all that?” you asked, grasping at the last straw of hope that it was a lie, misunderstanding, baseless rumour.

“Dear, everyone knows that,” your mother laughed and started talking about the other neighbor who had told her and you didn’t hear her anymore. Your thoughts were racing and your heart was pounding loudly in your ears.

You excused yourself and ran to your room.

‘He vanishes’—the words of your mother were ringing in your head, your stomach being twisted by nerves.

You plopped on your bed and called Johnny. He didn’t pick up. You decided to wait. 5 min later you called him again. Nothing.

In three hours you were a nervous mess. You had cried several times, had sent dozens of messages that were unanswered and unread, had called him more times that you wished to admit but hadn’t heard his voice once.

That phone number was the only thing that he had left you, yet you realized that there was another option.

You put on the clothes you’d prepared for the dinner, rinsed your face off your tears as well as you could and headed to Joel’s.

When you knocked on the door, you feared that no one would answer. The uncertainty was suffocating you and your breathing was heavy. All you wished for was to get answers - did the man who had taken your virginity lie to you? Did he use you like a fuck toy and vanished? Was his attention to you just a means to get into your panties?

You were chewing nervously on your lower lip when Joel opened the door. For a second you thought it was Johnny, so much they looked alike but a little ray of hope dissipated when you saw the man’s soft curls.

”Hey, sweetheart,” Joel greeted you, visibly confused by your visit.

You cleared your throat and mumbled,

“Hello. Could I see Johnny?”

Joel opened his mouth and closed it before mumbling,

“Fuck.”

Your heart fell in your stomach when you saw him pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh.

“Sweetheart. Excuse me but— Was he with you yesterday?”

You nodded and he cursed again.

“He told me— he—,” Joel paused, his expression sad and apologetic. ”I’m so sorry, sweetie, but he left this morning. I don’t know what he told you but—.”

He shook his head, looking physically pained to be telling you that.

When all your fears were proven right, you couldn’t keep your despair inside anymore. Tears burst out of your eyes as you were nodding at Joel’s words like everything was alright. Like you weren’t hurt. The tears flowed so much that you barely could see Joel through the wetness in your eyes.

Joel placed his warm hand on your shoulder.

“Please, sweetheart, come inside.”

When you asked Joel about Johnny, he immediately understood that you were the girl he had slept with the previous night. Johnny had bragged about fucking the hottest chick in the neighborhood.

Joel couldn’t believe it had been you, so shy and sweet, he’d never expected Johnny to get his hands on someone so pure and lovely.

He felt horrible for letting his vagabond brother into his home again, and subsequently into your life. When you were sitting in his kitchen, crying quietly, he wanted to comfort you so badly his heart hurt. He placed a hot cup of tea in front of you and you thanked him between sobs. A pang of guilt shot through his heart.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed, stepping up to you. He took your hands in his and when you lifted your face and gave him a little smile, your gorgeous eyes full of tears, Joel felt something stir in his heart. Something he hadn’t felt for a long time. It made his breath hitch for a moment.

Even with your face streaked with tears you were so damn beautiful.

Why hadn’t he ever noticed how beautiful you were?

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

MASTERLIST

General tag list: @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk @pascaltesfaye @fruityreads @itwasntimethatdidit40

[nijigasakilove]

It feels like the last 28 weeks have been a once in a lifetime experience. To witness a show like this on a weekly basis is a blessing and words can’t describe the sense of loss I feel to see it end. I’ll be thinking of this show for decades like how Frieren thinks back on Himmel.

Not only has it maintained its number 1 of all time status, it’s even gone up higher. No fluke. The people have spoken. FMAB reign is over.

Onto the finale itself, after Fern and Frieren’s results last week it’s time for serie to evaluate the rest of the examinees. She lowkey cooked Denken by calling him washed, but praising him at the same time lol. Glad he passed, better late than never. Never too old to get your education as they say. Übel didn’t even have to speak to pass, four eyes not even showing up to the exam was a crazy twist, just off that alone he deserved to pass. Ol girl passing just because she said Serie was cute and small is like bribing the teacher lmao.

To think that Denken’s reason for becoming a mage was due in part to his admiration for Frieren’s deeds in the hero’s party is so cool. Glad he regained his love and joy for the fun aspect of magic after this exam. Even at his age, still learning new things.

Enjoyed the conversation with Frieren and Wirbel as well. I never would have taken him for being the kind person who values the “insignificant” moments in life, like helping a random person with things they’ve dropped. All thanks to the influence of Himmel and his party. It had to be surreal for these people to have taken the test with Frieren, someone who they idolised.

Serie so childish for not letting Frieren in the ceremony lol. It’s funny she does all this big talk about other people and still can’t express her emotions. A big tsundere at the end of the day, but Flamme and every single one of her students meant the world to her. Wish she’d tell Lermen one day before he dies how important he is to her. It’s sad that even at his old age he feels he still needs to prove himself to her by defeating Frieren. Like Frieren said, these mages can be so awkward.

Choosing a spell that cleans laundry as your reward is such a Fern thing to do lol.

LOVED the final “tearful goodbyes aren’t our style” flashback to Himmel. The ending of the episode itself felt like that as well. Not gonna cry cause I know we’ll get more of this beautiful series some day. 🙏🏾 thank you Madhouse for this masterclass. You won’t be forgotten, just like Himmel.

Review is up on myanimelist as usual: https://myanimelist.net/reviews.php?id=519116

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Hi- I was just wondering what are your thoughts and feelings about Ruby Gillis' death? Did you like it in terms of the plot or would you rather she had lived? Why do you think LMM chose to kill her off and do you believe it made the story better/worse? 🫶🏾

Thank you very much for this interesting question and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer...

Well, Ruby's death... Maybe I'll start by saying that I perceive this scene in a completely different way now, as an adult, than I did as a child, when I read it for the first time. At that time, this fragment seemed to me... tragic and sad, of course, but also beautiful and sublime. With my overly dramatic nature (and, worth noting - not knowing anything about real loss back then), I obviously romanticized the whole description and wept tragically (even though it wasn't without the kind of... delight that comes with reading about tragedy when somebody feels quite sure that it was just fictional and would never happen in real life), over Ruby's cruel fate.

Because, there was Ruby - a beautiful, young woman who became even more beautiful during her illness, whose death gave meaning and depth that she lacked in life. Ruby, who (at the time, when I was judging her with my ten-year-old wisdom), seemed shallow and silly to me because she giggled and chatted only about boys.

Of course, I looked at the whole situation through Anne's eyes - with Anne's noble ideals and dreams that were in no way focused on men. To ten-year-old me, pre-illness Ruby was the type of girl I couldn't understand and therefore - I believed, unworthy of my attention. Pre-illness Ruby just was. I fully agreed with Anne and Diana that Ruby's thoughts and dreams were petty, even a bit ridiculous. Maud herself described her in a rather mocking way: as an exaggerated, pretty girl, who looked very ordinary compared to sublime and subtle Anne.

But, ill Ruby... who suddenly became ethereal, delicate, tragic... Ruby, who realized too late that she should have been thinking about the high and the glorious, instead of focusing on the unimportant. Ruby, who was afraid of death - not of pain, but of not knowing the other world, because, in her earthly life, she focused on everyday matters: clothes, admirers, fun, instead of perfecting her mind and soul. And Anne, who - while looking at the face of the dead Ruby - came to the conclusion that she had to live differently, not focusing on the present, but striving for higher goals. Yes, when I read this scene as a child, I was moved by its dramatic beauty.

However, now, although I naturally recognize Maud's literary skill, my emotions - and approach to Ruby as a character - are completely different.

First of all, I realize that Ruby was still very young - she had every right to be a little silly, a little flirty, a little fun-loving. Because, deep inside, Ruby was looking for love - the way most people look for it, through experience, learning from their mistakes. The truth is, finding love looks like this for most of us. Not everyone can have their own Gilbert Blythe, who'd wait for them for years upon years and never look at another.

Ruby was only eighteen when she got sick - nineteen when she died - and Heaven knows, most people do not know what they want from life at this age. So, being a little flippant should be excused - both Anne and Diana were different of course, but it doesn't mean that all girls were. Maud wrote about all kinds of girls: clever or silly, serious or funny, ambitious or flippant, pretty or ugly. And the message, in later books, seems clear: all of them can change for better.

Ruby was full of life, joy, carefree. In a way, she reminded me about pre-war Rilla. She wasn't like Anne, at least on the outside. But... deep down they were a bit similar. Ruby said what Anne would think years later: that she wanted love, marriage and children.

In a way, I am quite certain that older Anne understood Ruby better than she understood Christine (a woman who decided not to have children and spoke freely about it). Anne, deep down, also yearned for home and family of her own - and although she didn't know it, she already loved Gilbert.

During the last conversation with Anne, Ruby confessed that she finally fell in love with a man who loved her. The moment she spoke about wanting to live, I realized the whole tragedy. Here was a girl who would soon have to cross the border between life and death, just as her womanhood was about to start. She was scared of unknown... and sorry for the life she could have had - should have had - the life that she was losing. I was surprised with Anne's answer: "Why would you be scared, dear?". Why wouldn't she be? The point of religion is not knowledge - it is a belief. Even if Ruby spent her nineteen years of life feverishly devoted to the church, with her eyes fixed on the sky, all her thoughts as pure as snow, she still would have had every right to be scared.

I believe that - by her death - Ruby became a symbol and a warning for the readers (especially - for young girls). A symbol of life that ended too soon; of dreams that never had a chance to become a reality; of a girl, whose joyful, flippant existence was going to become forgotten as soon as she was buried. Because... what did people talk about after Ruby's funeral? That she was "the handsomest corpse of Avonlea"? That she had been laid in a "splendid white velvet casket"? That she had a beauty that "spirit had never shone through it, intellect had never refined it."?

In a way, Ruby was just as much of a symbol as Walter was; a life that might have been: "But death had touched it and consecrated it, bringing out delicate modelings and purity of outline never seen before—doing what life and love and great sorrow and deep womanhood joys might have done for Ruby." (Anne of The Island).

So - Ruby might have become wiser, more mature with age, love, marriage, life. But instead, she had to leave the world innthe golden hour of her teens.

And, Ruby's death is a warning, too - which is seen, again, through Anne's eyes. To Anne, it might be seen as a milestone, that made her realize that she had to set her sight on something bigger than everyday life. "Life held a different meaning, a deeper purpose. On the surface it would go on just the same; but the deeps had been stirred. It must not be with her as with poor butterfly Ruby. When she came to the end of one life it must not be to face the next with the shrinking terror of something wholly different—something for which accustomed thought and ideal and aspiration had unfitted her. The little things of life, sweet and excellent in their place, must not be the things lived for; the highest must be sought and followed; the life of heaven must be begun here on earth." (Anne of The Island).

It is worth mentioning how Ruby had died - and when. Ruby, who loved dancing, died at her sleep, peacefully, when all of her friends were at the party. "The next night the A.V.I.S. gave a farewell party to Jane Andrews before her departure for the West. And, while light feet danced and bright eyes laughed and merry tongues chattered, there came a summons to a soul in Avonlea that might not be disregarded or evaded." (Anne of The Island). It is such an irony that Ruby - the liveliest and prettiest of Avonlea girls - would die alone, while her friends were having fun. On the other hand (although it was not mentioned in the book), maybe she danced her way out of life, led by the joyful sounds of music, just as she danced her way through life?

As @no-where-new-hero-hero said once - Anne's series has a very strong religious tone - much stronger than the rest of Montgomery's books. Perhaps this is due to the fact that these were the first novels Montgomery had written and she wanted to make sure her young readers knew that religion was an extremely important issue in their lives, and faith - the meaning of their existence?

And here this moral is very clearly visible. Montgomery seems to be saying: "Ruby should have thought about eternity, not only about everyday life - and we have to, as well. We do not know when the end of our earthly journey will come and we should live our lives in such a way as to prepare for life outside the world we know and not be afraid of crossing the border."

I believe that most of the death of Montgomery's books meant something: Ruby's - the consequence of not seeing "the highest" and living day by day; Walter's - he cruelty of war and the sacrifice; Douglas Starr's - a tragedy of a father who knew that he wouldn't be able to watch his daughter grow up; Beautice Burnley's - the end of joyful, flippant existance and the consequences such life might have had on one's children.

I am not sure if I enjoyed the religious tone of Ruby's death scene - although I must say it was beautifully and splendidly written. As for a Ruby as a character, of course I wish she had lived. She had so much ahead of her - so much to look forward to. She deserved to live her life - it shouldn't have ended so soon, so abruptly. But then - Montgomery's aim was to put a moral in her story - and Ruby's example fitted perfectly, for this purpose (or at least I am pretty certain that Montgomery thought so).

It is a little difficult to say if it made a story better or worse; on one hand, it was well-written and touching, on the other - I don't enjoy the way Maud tried to push her own way of thinking into the reader's head. I also believe that we ought to be less strict with Ruby - and young girls in general. Youth should have been allowed its silliness - flippancy - mistakes, even back then. It was what made them grow and gain experience.

In my opinion, Ruby's death was Montgomery's message to the young people: "Don't focus only on here-and-now. You need to seek the eternity, too." I suppose that the message itself would be beautiful to some people, disagreeable to others. I am not sure which category I belong to, if I am honest.

Thank you again for your lovely question!

[inseparabiles]

So it's been. However long now since we dropped sertraline? Today four weeks exactly since the last 25mg?

And things have been, uhhhhhhhhh, interesting since - without a doubt got hit with SSRI withdrawal syndrome, and it's been a bitch, but significantly less than online promises us it could be and could have been, like, life is fine and this is all so balanced by the fact that we are experiencing such clear, vivid, in-depth emotion as we've NEVER felt before. Legitimately, this has changed things that have been true for us since we've been here: never crying at music if the feeling wasn't already there, never laughing out loud at jokes or funny things if not in company, and everything feels so beautifully raw and on the skin. Part of this, of course, is just the chemical balancing act happening in here. But part of it is genuinely for the first time in our lives not being depressed, and this feels... like the most beautiful thing ever. Nothing damping the full extent of our human spectrum anymore. Truly being and feeling alive.

Okay. So there's that. But the fucking withdrawal syndrome. First half of the week, that was mostly the expected, heightened anxiety and recurring panic attacks. Then it got so fucking weird: we've been having tremors like no tomorrow for weeks now, every time we're even remotely in a cool environment or tired, they hit like we've been dipped into a frozen lake and thrown out on the ice. These are worse for some parts than others, as hilariously exhibited by two parts having a conversation out loud with one having little difficulty producing words while the other could barely get a word out from shaking. Back to back.

So that's been fun. Another thing is that we haven't been eating for like two weeks now. This household runs almost exclusively on Greek salads once a day now. Is it the new splits? Is it the withdrawals? Who the fuck knows.

This whole whatever the FUCK happened with Gladiator? Like talk to me about reality, I do NOT know her. Hit the most massive combination of a withdrawal-induced manic episode together with a blossoming special interest and that shit made us ride a high that I don't think I'd be able to replicate if I snorted coke and ecstacy combined. The brain has not been here for some time. Things have been going so hard you have no idea.

It's calming down now, we can actually... think, at least some of the time. Instead of having this incessant buzzing sound and a total and complete loss of any semblance of grounding and/or control of our actions and what the fuck we're saying. For a solid week we could not shut up for the love of life or gods combined. Nothing but a bullet would have shut this shop up

And for the past few days it's been mostly just the tremors and the lack of an appetite and the panics. Today and yesterday, no panics, all good. Slept a decent nine hours last night and feel like a human person today.

Been playing Overwatch here on the off while thinking about blorbos and the Roman Empire. And just now, clear as day, with sound and all, a thumb-sized white paper origami cockroach/scarab pranced the fuck across my mousepad. It took its damn time too, at least four seconds, which is by far the longest and clearest hallucination this shit brain has ever produced. The buzzing of the beetle wings, the soft clatters of paper folds and weight. I just looked at it like what the FUCK was that and can there be ANY other explanation but a hallucination, but there's genuinely nothing over there that could have moved even a little bit. There's a strip of leftover photo paper there but it's heavy and it hasn't moved for a day, nothing's touching it, it's pinned down by two scissors. There's a napkin stuck inside the standing microphone's platform, but it's similarly just not fucking around at all.

What. Just genuinely what the fuck. I do love me a brain and some chemicals.

Also we might have a third split and we've all collectively agreed that since this one is benign and benevolent, we'll be leaving him be until a further date unless something dramatically changes or requires immediate processing. Entirely possible the front push of the chaos parts and this absolute madness that has accompanied and surrounded their settling in has dislodged another part and this one actually wasn't here before/earlier than when we started sniffing him out a couple days ago at earliest. Like splits can happen that way, too, I guess. Acute destabilisation can breed parts to help stabilisation. It happens. But our splits are usually much slower and brew for weeks and there's signs. This one is weird.

I guess though we also haven't quit a decade on sertraline ever before so there's that.

also I'd like to thank Caracalla personally for allowing us to write totally unhinged fiction that nobody whose brain has not been totally and completely fucked will understand just how literal all of the description we've been sliding into these stories can be. sometimes what a girl needs is, checks smudged writing on wrist, is an unhinged roman emperor with neurosyphilis to express the full spectrum of her reality.

[world-of-tomorrow-dreams]

snow overanalyzes Ayreon - 01011001 - Part 3

Comatose

Comatose is Ayreon’s most popular song, and for good reason! It may not be as long and musically diverse as most other tracks (which probably makes it more accessible for people new to Ayreon), but it’s so full of emotion and meaning.

It’s a dialogue between the two characters Forever 𓅛 and Forever ♡, which expands on the conflict (the thinking/feeling dichotomy) from Age of Shadows - Forever ♡ believes that their loss of emotions could be a good thing (“No need to feel the pain”), whereas Forever 𓅛 is losing his will to live...

“No need to feel desire” “But I need you with me” “No need to feel so small” “But I need to feel secure” “No need to feel the fires” “But I need to feel free” “No need to feel at all” “But I need to know for sure”

The parallel structure! It’s so well written - showing how one negative feeling can create something greater. Like in order to feel secure, to belong, there’s an implication that you’re one piece of the whole.

And also interesting how Forever 𓅛 associates feeling with knowing! And perhaps this is true - how do we know something is right or wrong if it doesn’t elicit anything from our heart or gut?

(Random thought - it makes me happy to see a feminine character not being stereotyped as the emotional one and instead being the one taking the cold logical view. The duet is beautiful - their voices work so well together! - but in this twist it’s the masculine character relying on the feminine one for support! It goes to show the universality of feeling and thinking (I know I keep mentioning it,, wait for it); we use both but typically rely on one process more than the other, and that happens independently of gender stereotypes. aahh)

Also I wanted to share my friend @astraeaiscreative's thoughts on the chorus! I love how her insight is uniquely human and empathetic (feel free to brainrot with me anytime 💙)

augck comatose is so good,,,, the duet, the harmonies/music,, the yummy musical sounds (scratch brain itch),, the (ironic lmao) emotion in his voice,, the lyrics,, it's so tragic but also,, they don't fully feel sad because they're emotionless (almost),, but wake me up before we die such a sad line??? comatose is the perfect word for this song,, they're like potatos but that's not even funny its just straight up tragic and devastating because they were once full of emotion and life they don't even want to die almost? they just don't care?? almost sadder than wanting to die

Definitely a song that carried me through Sadge times, especially the whole premise being "I don't want to die, but I'd rather not be conscious for the rest of my life"

So yeah! A song that's not even about humans, and yet it shows us so much about what it's like to be human.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[ghostybreads]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

hello!! i absolutely don't mind! this is such a cute question, i love talking about my interests 🥰 the top few are my absolute all time favourites, but otherwise no particular order! Put under a cut because I rambled a bit!

How to Train Your Dragon

I'm so so obsessed with this franchise, I'm not even sure where to start on why I love it. I actually have a toothless tattoo! and like, six toothless plushies that my friends and I call the council. The show race to the edge for it is one of my favourite parts, but nothing will top the first movie for me. There's just something so magical about it. It's truly beautiful, every time I watch it I genuinely feel like my heart is soaring <3 A lot of people don't know that the shows exist but I think they're so good and silly, they're such a comfort for me.

Servamp

This is a manga I always end up going back to again and again. I'm sure people have put it better than i could, but it reflects a very real and flawed human experience (despite the vampires lol). It feels like each and every side character gets so much depth, and everyone has their own journey, and its a very sympathetic and nuanced with its antagonists. The main pair grow SO much as people over the course of the story, and they build up plot twists so fucking well, ive watched it unfold and still felt like it was all planned from the very beginning. Also has british vampire catboy who goes 'meow' in the most serious deep voice ever, my beloved.

The Legend of Zelda

I'm counting this as one because I feel this way about most of the games, they're all so special to me in different ways. Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom I've loved playing, I felt so immersed in the world in such little ways, and all the small interactions with the people in that world felt so real and made me care about it. Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask are also so incredible and such wonderful stories, and I have such a soft spot for Skyward Sword, idk I couldn't choose a favourite if I tried. I've loved them since I was a kid so its hard to pinpoint what exactly it is that draws me to them.

Jing Wei Qing Shang/Clear and Muddy Loss of Love

TOXIC LESBIANS. I fear that since i've read JWQS no sapphic media will ever be good enough for me again, its insane how perfectly to my taste it was. The main chara can telepathically communicate with horses in an otherwise normal non-fantasy world and there's no explanation or even plot necessity for it, its so perfect for me. Qiyan, the MC, has so much gender. She's a malewife, she's a pathetic boyfriend, she's a lesbian, she's a boygirl, she's everything. The premise is that Qiyan, in her quest for revenge, ends up accidentally in an arranged marriage to the daughter of her enemy. And despite falling in love with her, she continues with her revenge anyway, prepared for the love of her life to kill her with her own hands when its over. There's so much emotion on both sides, its overflowing love and hatred and anger and bitterness and affection all at once. It truly is a whole journey to get through and I've been a changed man since.

Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Another one I'm so batshit over that I don't know if any series will ever replicate. They're so insane. Shen Qingqiu's unreliable narration is so funny but also so fascinating to unpack, there's so much to read in what he doesn't say. It's so funny, but then when you think about what's really happening, it's kind of horrifying, there's this constant whiplash. The whole premise of one persons impact changing the story, the very narrative itself, is sooo important to me on so many levels. Bingqius dynamic is so incredible to me too, they're just so insane and so much fun to read. They've always stuck with me.

MILGRAM PROJECT

I LOVE MILGRAM it's a song story project told through music videos and audio dramas! The producer is one of my favourite artists, DECO*27, and every song is consistently a banger. Every character has such an interesting, nuanced story, and as the audience you're challenged to figure it out yourself based on the clues, and your interaction decides where the story goes. It's so much fun seeing a new MV come out and everyone come together to theorise and discuss. It's still ongoing, and very easy to get into, so I always recommend it! My favourite prisoner is Fuuta :)

Voltron

Okay look. The question said favourite media, not explicitly media I thought was good. It is a show that is very very dear to my heart, and I think it fucking sucks after a certain point. The PREMISE is so so good, it had so much going for it on concept, and the characters carried it. I got so attached to them, I love their silly dynamics and they're so funny. I really do love the first few seasons, and I love the potential for what it could've been :') I very frequently text my best friend to rewrite parts of the lore.

That's 7 in detail, and the bonus additions are: Natsume's book of friends, good omens, and word of honour!

Thank you for asking!!! 💖💖💖 I don't think my thoughts were very comprehensive but I had fun, I hope they make some sense??

[laurellovescreampuffs]

moving diary, entry #1:

the shotgun shack

our home is a yellow and purple shotgun shack by the sea (which gets its name from the fact that- it’s rectangular, single-story, narrow shape with its rooms arranged one behind the other, making it so that if a shotgun was fired through the front door, the bullet would exit through the back door without hitting any walls). She was built in the 1920s and no matter how much history researching I do, I cannot find any older photos of it in its past life- i’ve bought books and have done extensive research but I still can’t find a single photo of our house pre-2015. But the history is there, inside the house in the glossy black-and-white tiles on the kitchen wall, the original honeycomb flooring in the bathroom, and its shiplap walls. In these rooms where the paint starts to chip, and I pick at it, eager to learn more about the history of this house through its paint colors, “THIS ROOM USED TO BE BRIGHT TEAL !!” i shout to my girlfriend in the other room while scraping the wall with my nails. behind the teal there was a purple shade and then a yellow- I try and think about the decades and what paint colors possibly lived through each of them and I look at the tile again and I’m grateful it’s lived through all of them. I think about all the past residents of the shack, cleaning all the same nooks and crannies I do generations of people tending to her, eating their dinners inside and all the delicious food this house has seen or all the things the walls of this house has seen or heard- the imaginary and the stuff I know has happened here.  when I think about these things, the house becomes a living thing, it becomes emotional for me to think about this history because I love this place so much.

in November of this year (2025) I will have lived here for six years now, but we will be long gone by then, having our first Thanksgiving in our new place and hopefully eating fried chicken instead of turkey. My wife and her cats moved in four years ago and the house didn’t feel like a home until she did. In the mornings, we wake up and one of us makes each other’s tea and coffee, and we sip them in bed with our cats on our laps and the morning sun beaming through all of our windows as we tell each other about our dreams last night. Sometimes we do this standing on our small balcony overlooking the backyard…

THE YARD. 

As cursed as she may be, there’s still so much beauty in her, along with all of the stories I have to share about her- Like the one where I planted two passionfruit vines when I first moved here, and I accidentally barfed on one of them when I was extremely hung over one morning and the other one ended up growing so vastly that it took over every single inch of our wood awning, compassing it until it caused it to break in many places. How tackling that felt so overwhelming to us, It took us weeks !!! weeks of filling up our ginormous green bin with the vine and for a while it felt like there was no end in sight for us in the vine- there were also probably hundreds of passion fruits on this fine. I had to set them out on the sidewalk and bags for people to take in the funny part is that no one did !! I even put signs giving people ideas of all the things you can make with passionfruit, but the bags never dwindled. THEYRE LOSS! in this photo you can actually see the monstrous vine encompassing the awning to the right on the photo: 

The vine I threw up on, however, never really grew much over the years until all the sudden last year she started becoming out of hand too.

in this garden, I’ve planted pomegranates, tomatoes, zucchini, oranges, lilies, daffodils, rosemary, and array of edible flowers, asylum, blueberries, naked, ladies, fuchsia, lavender, Jasmine, cacti, and various filler flowering plants to fill in the gaps. But no matter what I planted, the yard always looked bad and underwhelming. This is because whoever had this yard previously HATED yards, hated beauty- yes, i will take it that far. Upon me moving in, the garden was just concrete and rocks and the moldy rotting grapefruit tree THAT WAS IT. But their biggest crime was what I can only describe as a cement block grid with sharp small rocks in between, here’s a photo of a couple months after i moved in:

this makes up the whole front and backyard. It’s extremely painful to walk on. You can’t plant anything in it and upon further investigation, is too tedious to rip out, it might as well be permanent !! It’s soulless, low vibrational, idiotic, and hellish, and whoever decided to lay it down definitely voted for Trump all three times. I hope karma finds them well for this. But for now, I just see it as the Garden that made me realize I love gardening and that now I want one in my future. Who needs kids if you have a garden to him to ?!?!?!

we even painted the whole shed in the back that used to be a hideous shade of blue. I hand painted flowers along the door trim, we created a secret fairy hang out behind it, with a hammock and lots of plants and a red heart bench. It was just a patch of dirt before.

there are a lot of projects that never got done that we dreamt of doing- in the garden and inside the house, and I’m dealing with the grief of never seeing them come to fruition. I did so much imagining of the future here, I imagine living here for a long, long time with Jemme. ):

But ultimately, it’s the town of Pismo Beach that is driving us away, it’s not a happy place for me, “I CANT LIVE HERE ANYMORE !!” i always exclaim each time I leave the house, I can’t beilve i live here. this town turns me into a monster I don’t recognize. I joke and say living in Pismo is what’s causing all of my grey hairs. 

stay tuned for my moving diaries! the next one will be called “how tf am I gonna do this ?!?” (: because wtf !!

[ronnyallardauthor1]

A Journey into the Unspoken Realities of Undertaking

The Undertaker Down Under is a book by Ronny Allard that opens the door to the very human, often unspoken world of undertaking. Honesty, humour, and heartfelt emotion characterize Allard's invitation for readers to experience life on the other side of mortality, a profession most of us encounter only in our most vulnerable moments.

In the memoir, Allard paints colourful pictures about his unconventional career, including his first days as an undertaker, encounters with the dead, and the emotional complexity of a job that revolves around death. Far from morbid, the stories are a celebration of life and resilience, opening up windows to a rarely discussed profession.

One of the strongest aspects of the book is its authenticity. Allard does not sugarcoat the hard moments—such as working with decomposed bodies or dealing with emotionally charged situations involving grieving families. However, he balances these sombre realities with humour and a profound appreciation for the fragility of life. His story feels like talking to a close friend—comforting, illuminating, and full of unexpected insights.

Allard's stories are as diverse as they are engaging. He recalls his first nerve-wracking experience with a deceased person, where tension was palpable but transformative. He also delves into quirky, sometimes bizarre situations, such as coordinating logistics for unusual deaths or managing the occasional outlandish request from loved ones. Every story reveals not only the mechanics of his job but also the profound human connections that make his work meaningful.

What really makes The Undertaker Down Under different is its emotional depth. Allard's musings on death, loss, and shared human experience are profound but accessible. He reminds readers that contemplating mortality is not a dwelling in fear but a fostering of gratitude for the fleeting beauty of life. By discussing the interplay between life and death, Allard presents a sobering yet uplifting view.

The book is also funny. Allard brings some levity to even the heaviest stories and creates a narrative that will be entertaining and thought-provoking. It's a balance of levity and gravity that makes it a really joyful read.

Beyond its gripping storytelling, The Undertaker Down Under makes readers reflect on their own lives. How do we navigate loss? What legacy do we hope to leave behind? These are questions that linger long after the final page, making for introspection and meaningful conversations.

Whether you are interested in unusual professions, are drawn to heartfelt memoirs, or simply want to see life from a new perspective, The Undertaker Down Under is a book that should be read. It is full of humour, humanity, and hope, making it a book that lingers long after the last page has been read. It's a tribute to the human spirit's resilience and a poignant reminder to cherish every moment we have.

[vivididreams]

How Reading Contributed to My Growth as a Writer

When you think about writing, you'll realize that reading is the pulse that nourishes it, just as roots nourish a tree full of leaves. For me, reading has always been more than just entertainment or a way to pass time; it was a gateway to endless worlds, filled with characters, ideas, and stories that have profoundly shaped my perspective as a writer.

📚 Reading as a Silent Teacher

Every book I read was like a private teacher, whispering the secrets of writing to me and revealing the beauty of storytelling. When I read about characters struggling to achieve their dreams or facing inner conflicts, it felt like I was living hundreds of lives. These rich experiences deepened my understanding of humanity, which directly influenced the characters I create.

Language as an Artistic Canvas 🎨

Reading gave me a new understanding of language, where words became tools of creation. I learned how a short sentence can carry immense emotion, and how a simple description can transport the reader to an enchanting, imaginative journey.

💡 Rediscovering Myself

Each time I opened a new book, I found myself facing a mirror reflecting a different part of me. One book that had a profound impact was a short story collection full of intricate details about love and loss. It made me realize that writing is not only about conveying ideas but also about capturing emotions we fear might get lost in the rush of life.

🌱 From Reader to Writer

This journey wasn’t without its funny and odd moments. I remember the first time I tried to imitate the style of a writer I deeply admired. When I reread what I had written, I realized it sounded like a person trying to be a "fake version" of someone else. That was when I learned that reading teaches us, but it doesn’t force us to copy others.

🌌 Seeing the World with New Eyes

Thanks to reading, I began to look at the world in a different way. The small details that once seemed ordinary now held hidden beauty. The sight of rain was no longer just drops falling from the sky, but a poem waiting to be written.

✨ A Final Tip for Aspiring Writers

If you're looking to grow as a writer, make reading an integral part of your life. Don’t just read what you love—open yourself up to different genres of literature. There's always an idea waiting to spark your imagination, or a style that will inspire you to find your unique voice.

In the end, I believe that reading and writing are two sides of the same coin. Reading plants the seed, and writing reaps the harvest. And those who plant a love for words will harvest worlds without limits.

[yadavvipul]

Best Romantic Fiction Novels for Young Adults

Romance novels have an incredible way of capturing the joy, heartache, and unforgettable moments of young love. These stories for young adults often present similar emotions with a cohesive plot, making them some of the best novels to dive into. story, the story of this romance list will have you spinning.  “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green This novel follows two young people, Hazel and Augustus, as they grapple with life's toughest challenges. A love story. A romantic tale about young love, loss, and finding joy in the smallest moments. One of the best novels of recent years, it continues to captivate readers worldwide.  “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” by Jenny Han Jenny Han's trilogy begins with Lara Jean's secret letter to the accident, sparking a storm of thoughts and misunderstandings. The combination of humor, romance, and teen drama make this one of the best teen romance novels.  “Eleanor & Park” by Rainbow Rowell This story of first love between two misfits is perfect for readers looking for romance and depth. The connections between the characters and the problems they face together make this one of the best novels for those who enjoy short stories. 

“The Sun Is Also a Star” by Nicola Yoon Set in New York, this story follows two teenagers, Natasha and Daniel, who meet and spend a day discovering love, destiny, and the story of the world. . This is an unforgettable love story that combines science, destiny, and the beauty of young love.  "Anna and the French Kiss", Stephanie Perkins Who doesn't love a romantic story set in Paris? The story of Anna, who moves to a boarding school in the City of Lights, and Dean St. Clair is sweet, funny, and oh-so-romantic. A must-read for romance fans.  Adam Silvera "They All Die in the End" This novel is not necessarily a romantic novel, but it explores love, friendship, and the meaning of people. Mateo and Rufus's bond in their final hours is intense and unforgettable, making it one of the best novels with romantic and emotional content.  “The Selection” by Kiera Cass This series is the best of love and suspense stories. Set in a dystopian world, the film follows American singers who compete for the heart of a prince on a reality show competition. The competition, drama, and romance make it popular among teens.  “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak Despite being mostly a historical novel, the love story between Liesel and Rudy is beautiful and beautifully written. This is one of the best stories because of its unique narrative and deep emotion.  “A Court of Thorns and Roses” by Sarah J. Maas This beautiful film reveals a captivating story of love, betrayal, and redemption. Feyre's journey through a magical world of danger and passion has made it one of the most popular teen romance novels.  “P.S. I Like You” by Kasie West A lighthearted and charming read, this novel follows Lily as she exchanges notes with a mystery admirer. It's a perfect pick for fans of romantic fiction novels who enjoy a touch of mystery.

Why Read Romantic Fiction Novels?

Romantic fiction novels aren’t just about love stories; they often dive into themes of self-discovery, resilience, and personal growth. Many also incorporate elements of mystery fiction books, keeping readers intrigued while exploring the complexities of relationships. Browse our full collection of all books at HarperCollins.

Conclusion

Whether you're a fan of heartfelt romances or love stories with a twist of mystery, this list has something for everyone. These are some of the best fiction books for young adults, offering a perfect escape into worlds where love conquers all. So grab your favorite novel, find a cozy spot, and let yourself get lost in these captivating tales.

[laxmankodadala]

The Emoji You Think You Know: Revealing Its Hidden Meaning

The fast-paced digital world of today has made communication more visual and symbolic than in the past. Emojis, whether used in a text message or a social media post, have become a common language for communication. They enhance our talks with passion, personality, and context, enabling us to communicate anything from happiness to sorrow, humour to perplexity. Even though a lot of us utilise emojis on a daily basis, we frequently are unaware of their hidden meanings or codes.

This article explores the world of emoji and emojis symbols, breaking down their meanings and providing a comprehensive guide to emoji codes. Whether it’s a simple sad emoji, a cheerful heart emoji, or expressive hand emojis, we’ll take you on a journey through the symbols that make digital communication richer and more vibrant.

Common Emoji Categories and Their Meanings

1. Smileys & People Emojis

These are the most widely used emojis, representing emotions, gestures, and people. From happy faces to sad expressions, smiley emojis are the go-to option for adding emotion to your messages.

😊 (Smiling Face with Smiling Eyes): A warm and positive emoji, often used to express happiness, contentment, or friendliness.

😂 (Face with Tears of Joy): Represents uncontrollable laughter, something so funny that it brings tears to your eyes.

😞 (Sad Face): Used to express sadness, disappointment, or unhappiness.

😡 (Angry Face): Represents frustration, anger, or annoyance.

🤔 (Thinking Face): A thoughtful expression, often used when you’re pondering something or are unsure.

🤩 (Star-Struck): This emoji is used to show excitement, admiration, or being in awe.

🧑‍🍳 (Chef or Cook): Represents someone who cooks or the act of cooking. It’s often used to talk about food or meal prep.

2. Heart Emojis

Heart emojis are a popular choice when it comes to expressing love, affection, or gratitude. They come in different colors, each symbolizing different emotions or intentions.

❤️ (Red Heart): A classic symbol of love, passion, and deep affection.

💔 (Broken Heart): Represents heartbreak or emotional pain. It's often used to express sadness over a breakup or loss.

💖 (Sparkling Heart): Shows feelings of admiration, gratitude, or a heightened sense of love.

💜 (Purple Heart): Used to represent compassion, care, and other emotional or sensitive situations.

💛 (Yellow Heart): Represents friendship and happiness. It’s often used between friends to show mutual support.

🧡 (Orange Heart): Conveys a sense of warmth, closeness, or platonic love.

3. Hand Emojis

Hand emojis are used to symbolize various gestures, greetings, and actions. From waving to giving a thumbs up, these emojis help express what words sometimes cannot.

👍 (Thumbs Up): Used to express approval, support, or agreement.

👋 (Waving Hand): A friendly greeting, farewell, or acknowledgment.

👏 (Clapping Hands): Often used to congratulate or celebrate someone’s achievement.

👌 (OK Hand): Represents agreement, approval, or that something is "perfect."

🤞 (Fingers Crossed): Expresses hope for good luck or a positive outcome.

🤲 (Palms Up Together): Represents a gesture of prayer, asking, or offering.

✌️ (Victory Hand): A symbol of peace, victory, or goodwill.

4. Animal & Nature Emojis

These emojis are commonly used to describe animals, plants, weather, and other elements of nature. They often symbolize different feelings or convey a playful tone in a conversation.

🐶 (Dog Face): Represents dogs, loyalty, or a playful mood.

🐱 (Cat Face): Used to represent cats, independence, or cuteness.

🌸 (Cherry Blossom): Symbolizes beauty, life, and renewal, often associated with spring.

🌞 (Sun with Face): Represents warmth, happiness, or positivity.

🌧️ (Cloud with Rain): Often used to describe gloomy weather or a sad mood.

🍀 (Four Leaf Clover): A symbol of good luck and fortune.

5. Food & Drink Emojis

Food emojis are great for sharing what you’re eating, drinking, or craving. They also add a fun and relatable element to messages related to meals or dining experiences.

🍕 (Pizza): Represents pizza, a popular food choice, or a craving for a quick meal.

🍔 (Hamburger): Symbolizes burgers, fast food, or casual dining.

🍫 (Chocolate Bar): Often used to express a love for sweets or indulging in a treat.

🍷 (Wine Glass): Represents wine, celebrations, or a night out.

☕ (Hot Beverage): Usually symbolizes coffee or tea, representing relaxation or a morning ritual.

🍰 (Cake): Often used in the context of birthdays, celebrations, or just enjoying dessert.

6. Travel & Places Emojis

These emojis are used to depict transportation, landmarks, or different types of destinations. Whether you’re planning a trip or reminiscing about your last vacation, these emojis come in handy.

✈️ (Airplane): Represents travel by air or going on a vacation.

🚗 (Car): Symbolizes driving, travel, or transportation in general.

🏖️ (Beach with Umbrella): Conveys a beach holiday, relaxation, or summer vibes.

🗽 (Statue of Liberty): Represents New York City, freedom, or iconic landmarks.

⛺ (Tent): Symbolizes camping, outdoor activities, or an adventurous spirit.

The Power of Emoji Combinations

One of the most exciting ways to use emojis is through emoji combinations. By combining two or more emojis, you can create a deeper, often humorous, meaning. This is where Emoji Kitchen comes in.

Emoji Kitchen

Emoji Kitchen is a feature offered by Google that allows you to combine emojis and create unique mash-ups. For instance, you can merge the 😂 (laughing face) with the 💀 (skull) to show something is "deadly funny," or combine the 🍕 (pizza) and 😋 (licking lips) to express your love for pizza.

Here are a few popular combinations:

🌞🍂: This combo shows the transition from summer to autumn, where the sun shines but leaves start to fall.

😢💔: A clear representation of sadness due to heartbreak or loss.

🔥💪: Represents feeling strong or energized, often used after a workout or achieving a goal.

👨‍💻☕: Depicts a long workday fueled by coffee.

These combinations give users more flexibility in conveying nuanced emotions and ideas. As emoji usage evolves, Emoji Kitchen and similar tools will likely become even more creative and fun.

Hidden Emoji Meanings You Might Not Know

While most emojis are used for their obvious meanings, some have hidden or lesser-known interpretations. Here are a few emojis that might surprise you with their alternative meanings:

🍆 (Eggplant): While it represents a vegetable, it’s often used in slang to represent male genitalia in a humorous or suggestive context.

🍑 (Peach): Though it’s a fruit emoji, it is commonly used to represent a person’s buttocks in a playful or cheeky way.

🙃 (Upside-Down Face): While it may seem like a happy face, it’s often used to express sarcasm or passive-aggressive emotions.

💩 (Poop): While it might seem gross, this emoji is often used in a light-hearted or humorous context.

🐍 (Snake): This emoji can represent deceit or betrayal, often used to refer to someone as sneaky or untrustworthy.

For example, the code for the ❤️ (Red Heart) emoji is U+2764, and the code for 😊 (Smiling Face) is U+1F60A. When you type or select an emoji, your device sends this Unicode to the recipient’s device

Troop messenger is instant messaging app it has emojis option while chat.

[omensgate]

Opinion Moon!

for THIS ask game

Sexuality Headcanon: oh .. it wouldnt be right for me to speculate .. that is her private life ! (i really dont know her well enough to tack anything down LOL i prefer lesbianism though. nonbinary robot lesbianism)

Gender Headcanon: (praying motion) Please keep my beloved robots from ever acknowledging gender

A ship I have with said character: i am slowly inching closer and closer to enjoying nsh x moon (lesbianism), i think nsh is just the right amount of silly -> malleable realism and its cute how he has saved her. (Though, i am not a big fan of nsh, but slowly becoming more endeared). I REALLY WANTED to draw 'whered you get this long bacon' 'long bacon store' meme with them but someone beat me to it with moon and SOS ARGEH!!! reblog that

A BROTP I have with said character: OBVS her literal bro five pebbles and their mutual friends!!!!!!! makes me smile big ASF!!!!

A NOTP I have with said character: im sorry ............................... i really hate seven red suns Period i dont want them near moon she deserves better . im sorry

A random headcanon: i copy n pasted fhis from when i answered for nightcat and straight up did not replace it. Uhm i have no ideas about her

General Opinion over said character: ok please poke me with a cattleprod for this one because it was a poor opinion no longer held but when i first got into rw i really did not care about her. i was pretty emotional and five pebbles is my favorite and my reaction to the five pebbles morality discourse was to have little care (THOUGH NOT HATRED! i just dgaf) towards moon. i have been enlightened since then. i love her! im sad when people water her down to being just sweet and pitiful which is really easy for a fandom (with a tendency to miss her assertive moments and scholarly pursuits). its really funny and lovely how kind of mean she can be (like if you run around too much near her or leave mid conversation). i need to see more of her and like as a person, not as a piece of cardboard with a kind words 'mom friend' soundboard installed. i think shes a beautiful piece of narrative too that shes decayed so much and still has the capacity for love even in the midst of so much loss and confusion

[onmymasa22]

Sympathy: i feel bad for you

Empathy: i feel bad with you

Compassion: tell me how to help you feel better

Sympathy does make me change anything about myself, i just acknowledge that you're not ok. Empathy makes me crouch down to your level. I find within myself feeling that match, and i make you feel like you are not alone in it. Compassion is the action of trying to help someone, and bring them up. Trying to help. Helping them stand up. I relieve your suffering.

I want my child to be loved by everyone.

The nations will hate us. The same way that teacher treated you poorly for no good reason. Ive dealt wiyh that. People who dont lkke me for no good reason. Usually theyre girls.

Islands in the stream

Somewbere only we know

I love the people in my life

Whoever is in my life, thats the love i need.

This birthday im happy

I love my life

Im doing a good job

Stoned and inlove

I miss being stoned

I want to love everything

I miss cigarettes

I miss getting high

Being stoned with friends and watching a stupid movie

I wish everyone was just ok

I wish i could just

I did so much of the things that i wanted to do. I still have things i want to do. Maybe ill do them in two weeks. Ill have with friends, meet guys. Im a person that could hang out with people wvery night or never.

I brelieve that in a relationship u share. I want to share everything. I dont have a password on my phone, or my stuff. He can have everything. I want for him to share everything with me. In my head, why am i marrying him for things to be separate. I dont want anything separate.

✔Graduate online college

✔Spend summer on west coast

✔Spend summer on east coast

✔Live with grandparents

✔Work with special needs kids

✔Go on birthright

✔Learn to play guitar

✔Go back to israel after birthright

✔Make aliyah

✔College dorm life

✔Study abroad

✔Celebrate chanukah in israel

✔Volunteer in a hospital

✔Turn punk

✔Go skinny dipping

✔Dead sea

✔Tour the old city

✔Yad vashem

✔Har hertzl

✔Carmel market

✔Tel aviv beach

✔Caesaria

✔Banyas

✔Massada sunrise

✔See einat dana adina yahel ilay tomer ayal

Hi, my name is Dalya. I really love watching how inlove you are with being Jewish. It helps me with it. I just wanted to say that I bought the beanie hat this morning and was so happy to spread the beautiful moshiach energy message and give to Israel. I checked back a few hours later and saw that everything went on sale. I started thinking "uch, I should've waited a few more hours!" But then I said to myself "no, this was good, Hashem must have decided that I could give more and I'm happy to give!" To me, that's already embracing #moshiachenergy. Thank you so much for creating it!

What im trying to understamd

Its too much to want for people to treat you with respect. I think that i should be given respect. I should be treated like a queen. If you dont want to treat me like a queen, thats fine, i have no time for you. My life keeps moving. You are a blip. You dont need to like me. Its ok if you dont. Its your loss because im one of the good ones. Im funny, ik smart, im empathetic, im caring. I make sure everyone around me is ok. You are just saying what you see. Thats ur truth. Thats not the truth and i dont want to care about your truth. U know in the world.

Im in a destroy the world mood. Of course im depressed. My friends all get to be with eachother

You are a person who doesnt want to see me. U want control.

Are you a neiman marcus girl or a target girl?

Neither. Im a minimalist. I have style. I like to cwurate and edit my wardrobe and i want to

Im glad the hostiges were drugged. Number one psychologically speaking i think the emotions would be way too high otherwise. I would drug them as a jew just for that. I think anyone would pass out from that amount and kind of emotion. Number two , i wish they were drugged the whole time. For the sake of the hostiges, i hope they dont remember a gd damn thing. Would it be great if they got really angry to make the world understand? Yah, probably. But if im thinking about the hostiges- i hope they were drugged the whole time, i hope they cant remember a gd damn thing. Because the only thing worse than going through hell- is going through hell sober. I hope they were high as a kite. I hope the pain was limited. I think any second their sedetive is a blessing. It means they didnt feel things to the same extent they would have

If u think that it wouldve been a good idea for the hostages to return not drugged, you might not know how bad it was. I think it was such a blessing that they were on mood stabilizers

The most honest thing i can say

I dont appreciate you

I dont appreciate you

Me, being in america as school starts cuz im trying to make wveryone comfortable with my life prospects

Also me: u know, ive never done well in school, maybe ill just fail again, and itll be ok. Highschool didnt want to accept me, and they didnt want to give me a deploma either, maybe ill turn out fine anyway then.

What is something that the meaning changed since october 7th. Time changed- it slowed down and went too fast. Flights changed. My ticket went into the garbage. Good versus evil changed. The world changed. Seeing mashiach changed. The way we see mashiach. The idea of what people understand, how people spend money- what we spent it on changed. Suitcases changed. Stories changed. Politics changed. Our love of every jew no matter what they look like changed. I see abyone who believes in gd is a gd himself. We are stars. We are the whole universe. Crying changed. This picture i drew, encaspsulates it all. Pride in jews and love of jews changed i think for everyone. Caring about stupid things changed. But also breathing changed. I feel like i didnt breathe for at least a week. I didnt do anything that i should have.

[na-ta-sh-aa]

AHHH! The revelation literally left me speechless, you wrote it in a beautiful way, you managed to create the atmosphere, to convey so many different emotions and you managed to put me directly into the story as if I were living that moment, you did all this in an incredible way!

“It’s not nothing if you’re worrying about it so much,” she countered, sitting down in the chair across from you, her brow pulled together in concern. “You know you can tell me anything.”

I love how Nat has always been so supportive and helpful to her from the beginning.

“I trust him,” you settled on finally. “I trust him with my life.”

This was so beautiful 😭 I think that being able to trust a person so much it's one of the best feelings you can have. The fact that she has complete faith that Jake will never hurt her and will always do everything to protect her fills my heart with joy.

“I’m saying,” she paused, sucking a breath before letting it out slowly. “I’m saying that you can hear as many things as you want to hear. Whether it’s good or bad or somewhere in between. It’s okay to be scared of what you don’t know, but don’t let it keep you from the things that you do know. Don’t let fear keep you away from a lifetime of happiness.”

I would like Nat as a best friend, she is so precious🥹

“Reuben was smart and funny when he wanted to be, having taken time to show you how to sail when the gang would take the boats out on the sunny, summer days. He made sure you stayed hydrated when Jake wasn’t around to do it instead, who acted so much like an older brother towards you.”

Him making sure she's hydrated🥹

“Javy was another brother you never realized you wanted. Teasing you and making sure you got home safe when the others were busy or when he picked you and Nat up to take you home. Even when it was just the three of you, he always made sure you felt included and never like the third wheel you knew you were being.”

Javy who cares about her safety and always puts her at ease.

“Bradley rounded out the trio of your new older siblings. Always making sure you were safe and out of harm’s way. Sweet Bradley who coped with the loss of his security at such a young age with an easy smile and flirtatious nature. The man who never once made you feel like an outsider in the longstanding group of friends.”

Bradley who is like her older brother😭🫶🏼

“Then there was Jake. A man who was perfect by no means, but was clear about his intentions with you from the first moment you met. Who would rather suffer the wrath of others than lie to you even for a second. Who made you feel safe and wanted even when you thought your own mind was playing tricks on you. He was everything you wanted.”

And finally Jake who had clear ideas about her from the first moment their eyes met and who loves her and wants to protect her with all of himself🥹 I loved how you wrote about the different relationships between Skipper and the group of friends, they have become so close in such a short time!

“A smile found its way to your lips as Jake picked up his pace, nearly running to stand next to you. His strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you gently to him as you rested a hand on his chest to steady yourself.”

Jake's reaction as soon as he saw Skipper was pure perfection🥹

“Hey,” he murmured, leaning down so that his lips hovered over yours. “Missed you.”

“Missed me?” You giggled. “How could you have missed me? You saw me just this morning.”

“Always miss you,” he hummed, letting his lips rest against yours.

I love them so much🥹

“Jake pouted at her, but considered her words for a moment. The smile once again finding a home on his face, he offered you his arm, which you took gratefully.”

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” He taunted, already pulling you towards the festival. “Let’s get a move on. I have a lady that needs showing off.”

Jake taking Bradley's words literally but being stopped by Nat because she says that Skipper needs to be shown how beautiful she is was an interaction that I absolutely loved!

“Skipper, come find me.”

“You looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. Several other people looked around with frowns on their faces, but you paid them no mind as you scanned the crowd frantically.”

“Come find me, and everything will be fine. Don’t you want to find me?”

I'm so anxious right now!

“The man looked back at you, tears now in his eyes as he let out another anguished cry, turning on his feet and racing through the crowd.”

“Cole.”

AHHH!! I had suspicions about him but wasn't totally convinced, it was so exciting the way you wrote and made the revelation, I was anxious the whole time I read the last part!

This was truly a wonderful chapter, Jake I'm sure will rush to help Skipper and I can't wait, just as I can't wait to know what happens next! I literally loved how you managed to render and create tension throughout the story to make me doubt and suspect everyone, when I thought I had found the murder then you inserted details that made me wonder again if he was the right person, really perfect, I'm loving this story so much!💗✨

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Eleven

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Eleven

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger Warnings: Reader expresses doubt, Reflection on relationships, Flirting, Mildly suggestive conversations but not really, Chaste kissing, Jake being handsy, The boys being idiots, Magic, Siren songs/mind control, Reader is lured, Identities revealed. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 3.2k

Series Masterlist || Moodboards || Playlist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin Tag List

Trust was a funny thing, when you really sat down to think about it. You could believe someone with every fiber of your being, but there will always be a single shred of doubt, no matter how small. That’s where trust comes in.

Trust isn’t belief. Trust is the bridge between belief and fear. Trust is what you grip on to when everything else tells you to give up hope. Trust is the thing that prevails when all else seems lost, that morphs itself into hope. It’s the thing that will always keep you going.

Which is why you were sitting on the edge of Nat’s bed, thinking back on your conversation with Jake just a few days before.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” she commented, eyeing you carefully as she strolled back into the room with her makeup bag in hand. “Have been for the past couple of days, actually.”

You sighed, offering her a smile that felt half-assed even to you. Grimacing, you shifted on the bed, running your hands over your thighs as you watched her set up her vanity with everything she would need.

“What are you going to do when I’m not around anymore for you to treat like a living doll?” You joked. Her eyes met yours in the mirror, and she raised an eyebrow at you. You squirmed under her gaze, letting out a sigh as you grimaced. “It’s nothing, really.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re worrying about it so much,” she countered, sitting down in the chair across from you, her brow pulled together in concern. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“It’s just,” you paused, chewing on your bottom lip, “I found out about what the mating bite entails.”

Her head jerked back in surprise, her eyes growing wide as she absorbed what you just told her.

“You…what?”

“I was talking with Cole when I went to pick up the masks the other day,” you murmured, eyeing the masks in question as they sat on the vanity. “He told me more about the mating bite and the legends surrounding it, and truth be told, it’s all I’ve been able to think about since.”

“Have you talked to Jake about it?” She frowned.

“Yeah,” you nodded, your cheeks heating up at the thought of the other night. “I’ve talked to him. He told me that it was all true, but that he’d never hurt me.”

“And?” She pressed. You glanced up at her, confusion plain on your face.

“And what?”

“Do you believe him?” She clarified, crossing her arms and leaning back. “Do you believe that he’ll never hurt you?”

You didn’t say anything for a moment. Jake had never given you a reason to believe that he would hurt you in any way. Still, even the slimmest possibility that you might not resurface from the depths of the water when Jake pulled you down under had the familiar sinking sensation of anxiety fill your belly, a chill running down your spine at the thought.

But then again, there was no doubt in your mind that you would let him pull you under in the first place. It wasn’t a question of “if,” but “when.” Jake was many things, but someone who intentionally hurt others was not on that list.

“I trust him,” you settled on finally. “I trust him with my life.”

“I know it’s scary,” she murmured, eyes searching yours for any sign that you might be having doubts. “After all, the claiming ritual is what the old myths and legends of mermaids and sirens are based on, you know?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I guess you’re right.”

“But those stories are wrong, Skipper,” she said, leaning forward to take your hand in hers, squeezing it gently. “Those stories are born out of fear of what people don’t understand, of what they want to believe. The monsters in the stories aren’t the people we know and love.”

“What are you trying to say, Nat?”

“I’m saying,” she paused, sucking a breath before letting it out slowly. “I’m saying that you can hear as many things as you want to hear. Whether it’s good or bad or somewhere in between. It’s okay to be scared of what you don’t know, but don’t let it keep you from the things that you do know. Don’t let fear keep you away from a lifetime of happiness.”

You stared at her for a moment. Of course you knew everything she was saying was true. You knew that Jake, Bradley, Javy, and Reuben weren’t the monsters in the stories you’ve heard. They were your friends.

Reuben was smart and funny when he wanted to be, having taken time to show you how to sail when the gang would take the boats out on the sunny, summer days. He made sure you stayed hydrated when Jake wasn’t around to do it instead, who acted so much like an older brother towards you.

Javy was another brother you never realized you wanted. Teasing you and making sure you got home safe when the others were busy or when he picked you and Nat up to take you home. Even when it was just the three of you, he always made sure you felt included and never like the third wheel you knew you were being.

Bradley rounded out the trio of your new older siblings. Always making sure you were safe and out of harm’s way. Sweet Bradley who coped with the loss of his security at such a young age with an easy smile and flirtatious nature. The man who never once made you feel like an outsider in the longstanding group of friends.

Then there was Jake. A man who was perfect by no means, but was clear about his intentions with you from the first moment you met. Who would rather suffer the wrath of others than lie to you even for a second. Who made you feel safe and wanted even when you thought your own mind was playing tricks on you. He was everything you wanted.

“I won’t, Nat,” you smiled, squeezing her hand back. The brunette let out a relieved sigh, smiling softly back at you before standing from the chair and dragging you towards the vanity.

“Alright, we’ve got a lot of work to do before the festival starts, so let’s get to it.”

The sun was slowly nearing the horizon when you set foot on the boardwalk, a sizeable crowd already gathered on the boardwalk. Several booths and stalls were set up along the sides, the local vendors doing their best to advertise items from their shops to the tourists that stopped to look.

Everyone was dressed like they were going to a party. The women who walked down the streets were dressed in a rainbow of different outfits - mainly dresses. The men were dressed more casually, but some still wore suits as they escorted their dates up and down the festival walkways.

“I’m definitely getting some stir fry for dinner,” Nat beamed as she looked over at Javy. He chuckled, resting a hand on the small of her back as the three of you waited by the entrance for the rest of your friends.

“We said 6:30, right?” You murmured, glancing down at your phone before back up at the crowd that parted to pass your tiny group.

“Don’t you worry, Skipper,” Javy smirked, waggling his eyebrows at you. “I’m sure those nerds will be here any second. They probably wanted to make sure they look nice and pretty for all the girls tonight.”

“Aren’t they wearing masks?” Nat asked, arching a brow up at her boyfriend. He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets as he turned his attention to the crowd in search of the others.

“Yeah, probably.”

“You’re so helpful.”

“I know,” he grinned, raising a hand to wave to someone in the crowd. You followed his line of sight, sucking in a breath when your eyes met green ones. A smile found its way to your lips as Jake picked up his pace, nearly running to stand next to you. His strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you gently to him as you rested a hand on his chest to steady yourself.

“Hey,” you breathed, practically in a whisper as you gazed up at him through your mask. His lips pulled into a smirk as his grip tightened on your waist, your cheeks heating up at the gesture.

“Hey,” he murmured, leaning down so that his lips hovered over yours. “Missed you.”

“Missed me?” You giggled. “How could you have missed me? You saw me just this morning.”

“Always miss you,” he hummed, letting his lips rest against yours. It wasn’t a kiss, not really, but your heart fluttered in your chest nonetheless. His face was half covered by a white mask with golden accents, the offending object bumping against your own, causing another chorus of giggles to slip past your lips as he smiled. You heard a gag from beside you, and you glanced over to see Bradley gagging as the others watched you.

“You two are gross,” he asserted, wrinkling his nose. “Get a room.”

You rolled your eyes, squeaking when Jake chuckled and pulled you impossibly closer.

“If you insist,” he grinned, moving to pull you back towards town and away from the boardwalk. You stumbled after him, lurching when a hand grabbed your upper arm, pulling you back and away from Jake.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Nat snapped, shooting a glare at the blonde. “I worked too damn long and too damn hard for you to steal her away this early. She deserved to be showed off.”

Jake pouted at her, but considered her words for a moment. The smile once again finding a home on his face, he offered you his arm, which you took gratefully.

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” He taunted, already pulling you towards the festival. “Let’s get a move on. I have a lady that needs showing off.”

The others followed the two of you with rolls of their eyes, and you looked back grin at Nat excitedly.

“So, what’s first?”

“Well, I’m starving,” she declared, rushing past you with Javy in tow. “I say we get something to eat first and foremost.”

“What are you thinking?” Bob asked, his eyes darting down to look at where Nat and Javy’s hands sat intertwined. His eyebrow arched slightly, blue eyes meeting yours for a brief second behind his silver mask. You shook your head slightly, and his face told you that the two of you would most definitely be talking about the development later.

“Stir fry,” Nat grinned, wagging her eyebrows at him. Bradley scoffed, earning a glare from the brunette.

“We’re not getting stir fry,” he said, an edge of disgust in his tone as he crossed his arms over his chest. “We are treated to delicious fried food but once a year, and you want to waste this opportunity getting stir fry?”

“The stir fry is the best damn thing here, Bradshaw, and you know it,” she fired back, letting go of Javy’s hand to cross her own arms as she glared the man down.

“Why don’t we just get our own things?” Reuben suggest, coming up to stand next to the two, placing gentle hands on both of their shoulders.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Mickey chirped, rubbing his hands together as he scanned over the different booths, shooting a dazzling smile to a group of girls huddled by one of the jewelry stalls. The girls giggled, whispering amongst themselves as they eyed your group in appraisal. Reuben let out a low whistle as he followed Mickey’s line of sight.

“Damn,” he murmured, a charming grin sliding onto his face.

“We’ll, uh, catch you later,” Mickey threw over his shoulder, making a beeline for the other group with Reuben hot on his tail. Bob rolled his eyes, already moving to follow them.

“I’ll go make sure they stay out of trouble,” he muttered. Bradley gave him a broad grin, letting out a loud cry of encouragement that set the bespectacled man’s cheeks ablaze.

“Yeah!” Bradley called, clapping his hand and earning a few looks from the passersby. “Go get’em tiger!”

If looks could kill, you surmised he’d be dead ten times over with the glare Bob shot back at him.

“Can we go now?” Nat groaned, looking around at the rest of you. “I’m starving here!”

“Yeah, but we’re not getting stir fry,” Bradley asserted once more. Nat bristled, and you watched as the two went in for round two of their argument. Jake leaned down so that his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, sending a tingle up your spine that nearly took your breath away.

“They could be at this a while,” he whispered, his breath fanning over your cheek as his arm came to wrap around your waist. “Let’s get out of here and go find our own thing to do.”

You nodded, allowing him to lead you discreetly away from your friends and towards the booths. The two of you walked in silence for a moment before he turned to look down at you.

“Are you even hungry?” He asked, stopping as you looked at the jewelry at one of the booths.

“Not really,” you murmured, eyeing a set of the handmade earrings on display. “Are you?”

“Nah,” he replied, wrinkling his nose. “We can just walk around for a little bit, if you want?”

“That sounds just fine to me,” you smiled, meeting his gaze and stopping. For a moment, it was like everything else faded away and it was just the two of you, standing and staring at one another. Jake’s eyes began to glow an iridescent green the longer he stared at you, his breaths coming out a little more ragged. You could get lost in those eyes, you were sure of it.

“Can I help you find anything?”

You jumped, turning to the woman behind the table as she smiled at you.

“What?” You asked, breathless as your mind scrambled to catch up. “Oh, no! I’m just looking right now, but thank you!”

The woman nodded before turning her attention to another customer. You looked back at Jake who looked like he wanted to say something. Before he could, a chime sounded, and he dug in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out, scanning the message before casting an apologetic look towards you.

“It’s my mom,” he explained, gesturing at the phone. “She wants to talk to me. Do you mind if I…?”

“Not at all,” you smiled, waving him off. “You go ahead, just text me when you’re finished and we can meet up again, yeah?”

He gave you a small smile, leaning in to brush his lips against yours in a gentle kiss before turning and walking away.

You perused several different booths before the pangs of hunger made themselves known. You decided to get yourself a bag of popcorn to tide you over while waiting for Jake to text you that he was done, bouncing excitedly at the thought of the buttery treat. You scrolled on your phone while you waited in line, skimming different articles as the line inched forward slowly.

Skipper.

You glanced up, expecting to see one of your friends, frowning when you didn’t. You could have sworn you heard your name, and an uneasy feeling made its way across your skin, clutching at the pit in your stomach. A low hum could be heard on the breeze, and you noticed a few of the vendors glance around uneasily.

Skipper, come find me.

You looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. Several other people looked around with frowns on their faces, but you paid them no mind as you scanned the crowd frantically.

Come find me, and everything will be fine. Don’t you want to find me?

“Yes,” you whispered, stepping out of the line, eyes still searching for the source of the honeyed voice. “Yes, I want to find you. Where are you?”

Follow my voice, Skipper.

Your head felt light, your body like it was floating as you took another step into the dense crowd. Your eyes still scanned the crowd, stopping as they made contact with glowing green. They stared at you intently from behind a solid black mask, the top half of the man’s face covered entirely. His lips twitched up into a knowing smirk as he watched you, slowly raising his hand in offering to you.

There’s a good girl. Do as you're told, and everything will be just fine.

The fact that his lips weren’t moving should have concerned you, but you were so focused on getting to him that you didn’t even notice. You took a few steps towards him, only stopping when the mark on your neck pulsed.

Come on, Skipper. You’re almost there. Just a few more steps and then we can live happily ever after. Don’t you want that?

You hesitated. Did you want that? You were sure you did, but somehow this felt wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

The mark on your neck pulsed again, almost as if it were pleading with you not to go. You frowned, reaching up a heavy hand to run your fingers over it.

Ignore it, Skipper. Listen to me. You want to come with me, don’t you? I would never hurt you. I can give you everything. Trust me.

Yes, that was what you wanted. You wanted to go with this man. How could you have thought otherwise? This man looked at you so intensely, almost like he was driven mad with need as he called for you.

Just a little more, sweetheart. Then we’ll have nothing to worry about ever again.

You were only about a yard away now, so close and still so far. You wanted to please him, make him proud. All you had to do was take a few more steps, and-

You let out a grunt as someone bumped into you, nearly sending you to the ground with the force of it. It was like everything came rushing back to you all at once. The floating feeling stopped, and suddenly you were aware of your surroundings once again. You looked around at the surrounding crowd, noticing how a few of the local vendors stared at you with unease, their eyes flickering away to focus on something else. No, not something. Someone.

Your head whipped up, locking onto the figure who stood before you. Your eyes widened in terror at the way he looked at you, his eyes shining with a mix of anger and despair as you fought for coherency once more. You knew those eyes.

Someone bumped into the man, startling him, and you watched as he let out a strangled cry filled with frustration and anguish. The passerby stopped, raising his hands to put some distance between the two of them.

“Woah, man,” the stranger said, eyes widening as the man tore his mask away in anger, glowing eyes seething as he bared his teeth. “I’m sorry, okay? It was an accident.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you continued to stare, your mind trying desperately to reconcile what you knew with what you were seeing.

The man looked back at you, tears now in his eyes as he let out another anguished cry, turning on his feet and racing through the crowd.

Cole.

A/N: Welp...here's the reveal, at long last. What do you guys think? Was it worth the wait? What's going to happen next?? Only two chapters left! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. If you enjoy my work, consider leaving me a tip! You can also find my works on AO3 under the username sailor-aviator!

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