#IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON ( THE HOLIDAY SEASON ) DOOP DE DOO AND DOOPITY DEE DAH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seesgood · 2 years

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no but, i hate having to be like “actually i’ve been really anxious lately,” because people always seem to assume it’s like “oh you’ve got a little nerves, maybe some tummy flutters, but you’re fine! you’ve got this! you’re functioning so well!” when what i really mean is, “actually, i’ve been really anxious lately and it feels like my entire body is flooded with stress and panic and every inhale makes me feel like i’m on the brink of a panic attack and there is an elephant sitting on my chest and my body and my brain are exhausted and i say hi to someone and immediately my brain will go into anxiety mode and rip me to shreds and it is exhausting, and it hurts, and i’m not having a good time right now existing in my own head and body.”

anyway. anxiety is often one of those mental illnesses that we minimize because everyone gets a little sprinkle of it but this is just a quiet reminder that it can be really debilitating sometimes and it’s Not Fun.

#IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON ( THE HOLIDAY SEASON ) DOOP DE DOO AND DOOPITY DEE DAH #we've had one family-adjacent death this week and i quit my job of 7 years and i'll be starting a new job and i have no idea what im doing #in life and everything is meaningless and i'm drinking too much to manage my anxiety and i'm not sleeping very well #and at any given moment i might just throw up from the anxiety!#BUT IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON ( THE HOLIDAY SEASON )#i am fine. if you ask: i am fine. everything is fine.#my entire being is simply shutting down from anxiety and it's fine!!#WHAT A WAY TO GO OUT #also for the record: i am taking care of myself. i'm eating well and balanced meals. i emailed a therapist. i'm probably going to consider--#-- going back on medications. i am self caring the shit out of myself.#my anxiety is still a 9.5/10 #/ personal cw.

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