criminalcake-blog - Tumblr blog

[criminalcake-blog]

*Eats a few cookies*

[criminalcake-blog]

Madness? This isn't madness. This. Is. Truth! I understand not wanting to accept it yet though. Don't worry dear sir, your denial is safe with me.

I sit here and gaze upon the bleak wasteland of my dashboard as everyone is once again temporarily laid low due to “too much Halloween candy sugar coma”

[criminalcake-blog]

Nonsense, there is no such thing as too much candy.

I sit here and gaze upon the bleak wasteland of my dashboard as everyone is once again temporarily laid low due to “too much Halloween candy sugar coma”

[criminalcake-blog]

Dear sir, its because I felt something. I felt that it was the perfect time, as is all time, to begin experiencing all of the wonders of life by BOISTEROUSLY chatting with someone. The world is full of fleeting and forgotten moments! Now is the time greet people with passion!

HAVE WE MET?

I doubt so. May i ask why are you internet-screaming to me? 

[criminalcake-blog]

*Begins baking Mr. Thirteen the best batch of brownies I've ever made*

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/: .... DUE TO YOUR RELUCTANCE I MUST NOW BAKE YOU BROWNIES TO TELL YOUR FUTURE SELF WHAT THEY ARE MISSING!

…I want brownies.

[criminalcake-blog]

BUT...

BROWNIES... I ASSURE YOU. THEY ARE WORTH IT.

…I want brownies.

[criminalcake-blog]

LAZINESS IS NO EXCUSE TO NOT HAVE BROWNIES!

…I want brownies.

[criminalcake-blog]

*BURSTS INTO THE SCENE* GOOD DAY EVERYONE. I AM BACK FROM A LONG BUSINESS DEAL AND I WISH TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS FARING.

[criminalcake-blog]

//*Weeps as I finally gain access to my blog after a thousand years*

[criminalcake-blog]

Reblog if your muse has been shot at.

[criminalcake-blog]

*Sudden urge to make a ridiculously large portion of rice pudding??????*

[criminalcake-blog]

I'm no stranger to the action, but coffee sounds much better then sand. Yes. We're most definitely going to be making smores. Nothing will dissuade me from marshmallowy goodness. Nothing.

[criminalcake-blog]

The dilemma between saving the whole or saving the one, either way someone shall suffer, but such is the way of karma.

You have found the best possible solution then. Free any caged animal into the dessert.

Such flak! How dare! Now, even though I’d be grateful for the beauty and meaning of my cage I’m afraid I’d still teach you why the caged bird sings. By the power of my song you’d free me in sympathy.

[criminalcake-blog]

Such flak! How dare! Now, even though I'd be grateful for the beauty and meaning of my cage I'm afraid I'd still teach you why the caged bird sings. By the power of my song you'd free me in sympathy.

[criminalcake-blog]

Yes, yes, and yes. Oh dear, you've discovered my secret identity. A phoenix of rebellion intent on flying free in the clouds of anarchy and discord. Nothing but the sky's limit will have a chance of chaining me down.

Ughhhh…..

[criminalcake-blog]

Tis a shame. But. Have you tried... Burning the bureaucracy? Every cycle can be broken with enough determination.

Ughhhh…..