#IT'S FUCKING 24/7 CONSTANTLY I AM NEVER FREE I FUCKING HATE THIS

[troglobite]

how many antihistamines and steroids do i have to shove into my body for MY ALLERGIES TO ACTUALLY FUCKING GO AWAY

I HAVEN'T KNOWN A SINGLE MOMENT OF ALLERGY-FREE PEACE MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE

AND I'M SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF IT

HOW MANY PILLS HOW MANY NASAL SPRAYS HOW MANY EYE DROPS

ANTI-ITCH CREAMS HAVE NEVER WORKED EVER IN MY LIFE

PLEASE I JUST WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING AND MAKE THE FUCKING ALLERGIES STOP

[breaking-binary-system]

So, especially with it being disability pride month, I've noticed something more and more: A lot of people, disabled and able-bodied, give a TON of hate to us ambulatory wheelchair users. So, I decided fuck it let me tell people a story about one.

There was this boy. He grew up with a disabled father and a mother who had a ton of chronic pain. He could see the effects. By the time this boy was 5, his father walked full time on a cane.

When he turned 11, he started suffering from severe debilitating leg pain. To the point he would miss school for days and would spend all day every day sobbing his eyes out from how severe it took, even after taking the max amount of ibuprofen and Tylenol he could. He eventually got into seeing a rheumatologist out of fear it was something rheumatology related.

For 6 years, the boy was constantly in pain and the most he would get told is "well your double jointed that's why you have this much pain, just go do physical therapy". That never helped him. When he turned 17, everything changed.

He went to go see a different doctor at this office, one he had to wait years for since she saw adults and, well, 17 was just close enough to be tolerated. She looked at his blood tests and did a physical and came to a realization.

"It's not that you're double jointed, you have rheumatoid arthritis. It's why your shoulders grind, they lack cartilage now from years of this disorder. Let's do our best to treat it"

That started a year's worth of trial and error before she finally decided to give the boy an immunosuppressant that had worked for his father who also had the disorder. He wasn't cured but, quickly, his symptoms started to go away more and more.

This boy, from the age of 15 on, had to use mobility aids frequently if not all the time. It started with a simple cane and while it helped, his hands couldn't take the pressure on his nerves. So, he tried a walker. And that helped too. Forearm crutches were best to get him still able to have some ability to walk. He found something that made his life a lot easier however.

His grandfather had a multitude of issues, many of which required him to have a wheelchair before he passed. So, his grandfather made it known that any mobility aids the boys father didn't use, the boy was more than welcome to have. So, he decided one day to try and use the wheelchair.

Suddenly things were so much easier. He couldn't walk all the time yes and he didn't need the chair 24/7 but it meant that when his POTS was acting up or he was in a arthritis flare up, he could use a wheelchair and still be mobile. It changed his life. However he wasn't free from shame and hate on how he shouldn't use one.

He was told repeatedly it wasn't that bad and he was being dramatic and was taking away from people who actually needed them. This boy was 18. He had a disorder that was seen as an "old person" disorder. His body was literally attacking itself. And here was a ton of people attacking him for needing a wheelchair or, if he was in a store with them, a mobility scooter.

This boy took months of steady therapy to be willing to even go in public with the wheelchair again. A lot of it took support from his boyfriend and his father who encouraged him and reminded him that it was OKAY to use a mobility aid, even if he didn't need it 24/7.

If you haven't caught on now don't worry, I'll just say it. I am that boy. I still need reminders from my boyfriend or my father that it's okay to need my wheelchair and I'm not stealing anything, my body has day's of different intensities. Take today.

I thought all I would need is forearm crutches and I'm typing this in my wheelchair and I feel a lot better now that I've used it since, due to the fact this chair is meant to be sat in for someone with a disability not just a regular every day chair, my legs are feeling a shit ton better.

My left knee has been in an awful flare up for about a month and a half at this point. Today it got unbearable so I just sat in the wheelchair my dad keeps at his job for me. I can move now without wanting to cry.

This is a really long post and I'm not entirely sure why i started it to be honest, blame the whole "oh yeah I have a CDD" and the fact that, well, I've been diagnosed with ADHD, specifically attention deficit part.

Something I wanna end this long post on. Don't think just because you saw someone walking yesterday or even 10 minutes ago and now they're in a wheelchair that they're faking or something. Shit can change in a matter of MINUTES.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

smoking weed kinda alwaus covered up the fact that i am extremely intense and constantly bewiledered by the fact i had to watch a man die as a child & i dont know anyone else who experienced this so ive never really related to another person. Like ever since that happened i had to smoke so muchhh weed to stop my brain from reminding me every single moment we're alive is the most alive we'll ever be so we have to cherish it to its utmost glory we have to express ourselves to the highest degree we have to bare our entire souls and all our vulnerabilities and never regret staying alive purely for the vividness of every single moment + the awareness of the layers of every moment that came before it Becuase it scares people when they learn you feel that way. they think you're crazy and yeah I Am crazy like im too crazy to not be on downers 24/7 so i can just merely present myself to the world without freaking the shit out of everyone but i hate being dull i hate it so bad i just want to be fucking crazy and free i actually love the unhinged horrific perspective i was unwillingly thrown into like a brick thru a windowpane. my life rules and my beautiful mind rules too i'll never be chill i'll always be a child of death and i love that truthfully i do. i simply must own it or it will own me.

[bigmfrat]

listen, not to be a Mindflayer apologist on main but one of the points for the emperor being evil is always "hes making you his thrall" but like, if he was, you sure do have a lot of free will for a thrall, and also - oh no, I get a 7ft tall squid sugar daddy who takes care of me and all I gotta do is sit there and look pretty, oh gosh, what a tragedy. Oh, and it actually enjoys me and doesn't have sexual desires? well as an ace bitch don't fucking mind if I do. "he would never see you as an equal!" I am an autistic afab in a family of narcissistic men, I wasn't treated as an equal until I was like 23 and got other autistic friends. NGL but I don't think that I'm on the same playing field as a giant squid monster with psychic powers so thats understandable. Like yea he holds back a lot of info, but as a bitch who has also needed to do whatever it took to SURVIVE i don't blame them!! The fate of literally Everything is in your hands but you need to work with people who think you're the most wretched and vile creature in the universe, I would be a little bit manipulative and secretive too. Also he gives you the option to be his equal, and continue to be with him after the game! There's 100% an option for him to genuinely like you, but being a mindflayer whos exhausted by constantly shielding a group of humans 24/7 from a fucking elderbrain in a world-ending mindflayer apocalypse kinda makes bonding a bit more difficult than it does with your other groupies who are all on a personal quest for therapy through blood. Oh BuT i PiCkEd ThE EvIl OpTiOn aNd HeS MeAn!! Yea, I've also hated my coworkers when they called me a bitch.

[feelingsstorm]

Well, I never thought I would write something like this again on this blog, and there will be many who are not interested or care about this, but I write it for my conscience.

I opened this account many many years ago, in another life it seems, when I was very young, innocent, and broken, probably if you go down far enough you will find old posts of mine, despite having deleted several, it was a blog that I did not use much, more than anything I used it to vent and feel accompanied in my depression.

Nowadays, despite having worked hard on myself, some days are very difficult anyway, I turned my content to something "more sexual" because in some way it helps me, and it always has, even in my worst moments, I resorted to porn and masturbating to help me, it may not make much sense to some, but it does to me.

That being said, I am a grown woman today, doing the best I can, bad days and all, I try to put all the will I have into it to go forward. For starters, at least I don't hate myself constantly anymore, I've learned to love myself in spirit and in the way I look, and I work really hard for that, I'm a real person. Having gone through such a bad time in my life, I never judged or treated someone badly for their physique and I plan to not start now, if I'm not interested or attracted to them I let it go and that's it, so in that sense, I don't understand the need to comment negatively about me 😒.

I am aware of how I look, I have a mirror in my house, I'm not a model or the stereotype of a woman or a porn actress, I'm real, and I'm a great woman. And it's not an ego thing, I know how to fuck, I know how to please and I know how to make people feel good in sex, that's real and better than any false promise made online. So I'm not going to allow some random guy to come and downgrade me just because he doesn't see what he wants on my blog. Clearly, I can't upload porn videos because they'll close my account and also, why would I do it for free? I've never charged for any of this, I've done it because I like it, but believe it or not, I don't live to please others, I please myself, I'm the only one who counts, you guys have a ton of free content of all kinds at your fingertips but the problem is me? That I don't show enough? Get a life...

Finally I add, despite what I publish do not forget that behind all the facade this is what there is, it's a person, I don't appreciate bad comments or childishness from anyone, I like to talk about life as well as sexual things but always with respect, clearly I am not glued to the phone 24/7 because I have a life outside of this, I answer when I can and sometimes I don't succeed in being the sexy woman, because I'm simply tired.

I also understand that everything here is temporary, we all look to escape for a while and share a few things to pass the time, but it doesn't mean we can't talk and share for more than 5 minutes. I'm not a porn page nor do I live at your disposal, I don't send photos, because I do not want to do it for you, if I do it has to be because I wanted to, period.

[hildegardladyofbones]

RANT

FUCJ THUs SHIT. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. School is starting on Friday and now I'm actually going to school which will swallow like the majority of would be free time because I have no other choice. But for the past entire week I have had NO MOTIVATION, NO ENERGY and barely inspiration. I gave up. I said fuck this shit ill just try to survive. (And then I went on an impromptu mini trip because I was rotting away in my room completely alone and I knew I needed a restart) and NOW. NOW I HAVE MOTIVATION. for the better HALF of a month I have been DEAD. And now I have all of those things. This is unfair. This is fucking unfair. I'm going to school, and art school and I will be tired and lazy and I will never write those stories and never paint those paintings. And that is honestly why I hate summer. It's cruel how I have nothing going on for the majority of the summer so technically I could be writing and painting and drawing and crafting 24/7 but I physically cannot because I crumble without structure. There are no regular (inevitable) things that I can plan my life around and thus I fall apart. I spent half of July dissasociating and the other half not home. But when I DO have that structure I have no time. I exhaust myself by Friday and then I have to become human again during the weekends. And that takes time. Honestly I do love learning and all that jazz but I sincerely wish I could just not do that. I hate both summer and school and I can live with neither. Because oh boy school will be an obstacle. At least I'm not sharing my classroom with 4 loud boys, instead I'm sharing it with a quiet girl and a mayybbee loud boy? Who the fuck knows because there's another new student again. BUT those 4 loud boys and many more even louder children will still exist around me and they will scream and yell and run and eat and I want to lunch them in the face. I Will need hearing aids by the end of the schoolyear, not because of their noise but because i will try to drown out their noose with my noise. How the fuck am I supposed to function. And my mom is actually pushing the diagnosis thing more than me and if I have learned anything from other tistics, then I know for sure that the process will be hard and tiring and long and I don't want to deal with that. She's quite fond of the idea of finding me someone who can idk help with my misophonia and like help.me exist in the world and I have to invent gods to pray to to not get a condescending doctor. That is why I have not pushing therapy myself at all so far. I had convinced myself that therapy would be something I'm doing once I'm 18 or older because there are wayyy too many therapists that don't give a shit about minors anyway and I feel like I'm constantly having to explain myself anyway because I don't speak the same language as other people apparently. Idfk.

I'm probably over reacting, I would've never done those things anyway

(If you read all that then love ya <1212, if you scrolled last then love ya<1212)

[akiipockii]

1) Zuko and Katara (ATLA), Willow Branch (Grounded), Rory Gilmore (IN THE FIRST TWO SEASONS OF GILMORE GIRLS), Abed Nadir (Community), Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds), Nick Valentine (Fallout 4), etc etc etc I have so many I cannot currently think of

2) matches. I suck at lighters and they sometimes hurt my fingers.

3) wish I could but my mom won’t let me. I sleep better w it open

4)most of them. Fuckin idk what’s in those woods

5) hazel, green and brown. I HATE WHEN PPL CALL THEM BROWN, They are actually mostly green!!

6) to test the bounds of discovery idk

7)hair ties unless my hair is wet. Then silk scrunchie.

8) none but a fuckton of empty cups

9) tea

10) fuck yeah

11) musical theatre !! best thing ever

12) cold, sunny day

13) like two hours ago

14) yes it makes me feel real for once

15) nah can’t even handle myself r u kiddin

16) no (I could but the gov is too afraid) and waaay too afraid to. Bad nightmares.

17) near?sighted I think

18) Amla and Olaplex hair oil and keratin shampoo and conditioner :DD

19) too shaky of hands but I could try!

20) soda. but I don’t drink soda sooo

21) my stuffed bunny cottontail. she’s my best friend I love her

22) black cat on a cold day. reminds you of moss and the sun on your back. the smell of rain as you enter a warm house.

23) makes it easier to breathe. Literally a lifesaver in Florida.

24) drawing, laughing or people watching. Maybe a bit of dancing

25) perfume and lotion

26) finally telling my parents everything. sobbing in my mothers lap as she realizes I have been hurting my whole life.

27) uhh 8?? idk

28) no but I am constantly masking which technically counts

29) hot as hades himself

30) yeah

31) keeps me grounded is like lofi/classical, but I’ll listen to anything. I prefer rock though.

32) no but I like the fluffy ones

33) going in the marsh behind my house

34) ik a lot of songs by heart

35) est

36) never. akiipockii on every platform. I own this name.

37) my childhood best friends Haley and Alex. Known them for 13(?) years.

38) fav smell is vanilla so anything vanilla smelling. Also will settle for cookies. yum.

39) occasionally.

40) yeah but nothing healthy lmao

41) I take tea not coffee but I like ginger tea with honey and an absurd amount of sugar

42) pinterest. discord because I prefer that over knowing all my friends phone numbers.

43) bad sensory issues. Not huge on spicy. BIG on salt though. Salt muncher. Can you tell I’m white? And Cypriote and Greek but still white

44) literally so many people can’t name them all. prob Supreme Court and or trump or Netanyahu.

45) …I played Minecraft?

46) don’t have one but I do enjoy playing world of Warcraft with my mom in winter. Just a wintery ass game.

47) “uhh and listen to you guys” 9:10pm. It’s 9:48.

48) never have never plan to. I don’t even like soda, coffee, energy drinks or anything other than water, milk and apple, grape and a few other types of juice. what makes u think I’ll like alcohol

49) no smh :((

50) I LOVE BEING TAGGED FEEL FREE TO TAG ME WHENEVER !!!!!

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[tqotsx3]

When you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers. (not forced ofc)

hey sorry i fell off the face of the earth cause WOWIE i took a while to see this, ive just been busy with school and some other stuff

also i love this prompt! i dont really think about myself often but i should appreciate who i am more! and i think people should appreciate who they are and the joy they bring into the world more too!!

i dont know how id pick just 10 of my favorite followers (they are all so cool), so if you follow me and ur reading this, if you wanna you should also take some time to appreciate yourself and post 5 things you like about yourself

ok ill stop stalling

Being able to tell when i did something wrong - part of the reason it took me so long to even respond to this was because i was in the process of reconciling with my old friend group. I had left about two years prior because i fell in love with my best friend and had gotten rejected, and at the time i was devastated, so much so that i pretty much cut contact with all of my friends from that group. I lived off of mainly spite and shame for what had happened for about 1 year, after which i tried connecting with other people at my school. this eventually led me to figuring out my gender and really looking at how my feelings had shifted over the years that I was gone, and while i felt much less angry, i still couldn't bring myself to join back. atleast, not until i saw a viral tweet from one of the friends of that group, which made me realize that by leaving the group i had missed so much, and they had missed so much of my life too. I joined back with my friends on december 1st, which i will remember fondly for the rest of my life. i know what i did was wrong now, and i consider leaving the biggest regret of my life so far. but just like that, i also consider rejoining one of the greatest joys i have ever experienced. i guess what im trying to say is that i know i mess up, like all the time about a lot of things, but i think im pretty good about owning up to that and admitting my mistakes.

2. Lack of Shame - oh boy what a great thing to follow up my trauma dump, lets go full horny now!! ok not really, but ever since i realized i was trans ive kinda let go of any shame about my body image or what i enjoy sexually. when i was a kid i used to fucking hate myself for being overweight, thinking i was wrong and i needed to lose weight constantly. and then when i got older, i also did that but for a porn addiction i thought i had (which later turned out to be my gender dysphoria manifesting but i didnt know that for another like 8 years). and now i dont bash myself for these things, its so nice to live my life without judging myself for every little thing that i perceived as wrong with myself. looking back on it, its kinda crazy since a majority of the things i hated about myself i never really had a problem with, it was moreso that there was a strict societal standard that wormed its way into my skull and made me think i was inferior when i really just wasnt. so anyway i hornypost 24/7 to all my friends and theyve all gotten tired of it (in a joking way, ofc if any of them were actually uncomfortable with me doing that I would respect that and stop immediately). anyways i need to be bred to death like a female axolotl

3. kindness - i sure hope i am!!! i try pretty hard to be nice to people and to make sure everyone around me knows theyre loved and appreciated and that they bring in so much joy to the people around them and to the world in general!!! at the end of the day i want everyone to be happy!!! on that note i need to get into the habit of saying this more but FREE PALESTINE!!! i cant really hope that everyones happy without condemning a literal genocide happening

4. curiosity and a lil ambition - i like learning things!! and i like that i like to learn things!! ive been happy going to school and learning about topics that interest me (mainly chemistry and computer science) and im glad that i have an interest in learning cause this world is so fucking cool and i want to learn how it works!!!!!

5. direction - and after all that has happened, after all my struggles and my losses, and my victories and my epiphanies, im just so proud of myself for finally knowing who i really am. there were times when i was alone where i would wonder if i would ever be happy, if i would ever figure out what i was supposed to be doing. i dont think i would ever have expected my life to be at this point and i am just so happy that i finally get to enjoy my life. I hope that everyone i ever know and everyone i ever dont gets to experience this too.

if you see this, just know that you are invaluable and awesome to have around. know that if you are lost, you will find who you are one day, you'll know what you want to do, where you want to go, who you want to be.

much love to you all.

[faux-hawks]

I posted 988 times in 2022

That's 985 more posts than 2021!

25 posts created (3%)

963 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tiredhawks

@tiredpaladins

@artistically-gay

@leagueofidiots

@macckenchiz

I tagged 185 of my posts in 2022

#dabi - 14 posts

#dabihawks - 7 posts

#bnha - 5 posts

#mha - 5 posts

#hawks - 5 posts

#hawks bnha - 4 posts

#hawks mha - 4 posts

#keigo takami - 4 posts

#takami keigo - 3 posts

#headcanon - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i had to wear a heart monitor for a school thing and i got so anxious it was already above the 140 bpm mark saying 'hey sit down'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

IMPORTANT

Hawks but with a velociraptor quirk - or a velociraptor shifter, even:

He's already known to be a 'raptor bird', but uh oh mutant puberty gave him some extra things to work with, but he needs time tame his instincts.

Also works as Dragon quirk / dragon shifter AU

21 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

A short DabiHawks drabble.

"Do those hurt? They look like they do," Hawks prodded as they continued walking down the street, hands in pockets as Dabi glowered at any lowlife who came near them.

"You get used to them," He replied simply, touching one of the staples - he really couldn't register the pain any longer, which was probably bad, but he didn't have it in him to care.

"I have numbing stuff that works great if you want some," Hawks babbled, something about the Commission and being a priority.

"I don't know, does it work on your throat?"

"Why?"

"Because it must be sore from all the dick you've been sucking." He flicked the butt of his cigarette into a dumpster, letting it light on fire for a brief instant before extinguishing.

"Wanna find out?" Dabi startled as Hawks huskily asked, leaning over him very suddenly and making him feel small with the pair of wings that were now shielding him from vision.

"Uh-"

"Relax, I'm joking. I used to be one of those kinda agents, if you get my drift. Not my sorta thing."

"Good," Dabi snapped, face flushed furiously.

26 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

Headcanon that Keigo has hyperesthesia:

He feels everything x10 the normal extent of everyone else, including why he feels his wings and feathers so much

Sounds are so loud to him that they can become painful

He has chronic pain due to how sensitive his nerves are to every little thing (i.e, digging his nails into his palm? It fucking HURTS, not even breaking the skin. You know how pimples are super painful? Multiply that by at least 5.)

This includes constantly feeling his lungs expand, heartbeat, the hair on his arms, legs, etc.

If he's anything like me, he also has cardiophobia, so he constantly has to distract himself (see, overworking 24/7)

Also has insomnia

Trouble eating because of focusing on his stomach too much and consequentially makes himself sick from worry

Experiences emotion stronger than most people

Lots of sensory overloads

Tends to hyperventilate / self regulate breathing a bit too much

Higher pain tolerance than the average person but only because everything hurts so much

Had to comb his skin to desensitize (Yes, a plastic comb on your arms and legs etc., I had to do this as well)

HATES scratchy materials, but also hates velvet because it's too soft

Am I self projecting now that I know what I have is hyperesthesia? Yes, but it makes SENSE, y'all!

27 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#2

Hawks' fatal flaw is one that shouldn't be considered a flaw in the first place -

He cares too much about the people he's fighting.

He didn't want to kill Twice, never did, but had a metaphorical leash on him the whole time with the HPSC breathing down his neck.

Now that they're gone, he's said he's free of his shackles. That Horikoshi claimed that he'd be seen as some kind of beacon of hope (don't have the source on hand).

But I worry he'll try to stomp down his emotions after Dabi pointed out that he slipped up because he felt bad for Twice.

30 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Props to Horikoshi to making the sluttiest, queerest rivalry ever and then making them absolutely ruin each other

105 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

LMFAO AT THE #1 POST

[i-arch-my-backula]

This is just a trans rant because I don’t have anywhere else to go and a lot of cool trans people are on here. 

Obviously talking about transphobia in this and strong language is used, brief mentions of an ed and toxic relationships

I hate having to tone down my gender identity for cis people. If I explain to them that I’m like more of a genderfluid man who uses he/they/it pronouns they get confused and ask a ton of questions or just judge me for using it/its pronouns. My mutual @the-slasher-madame described gender the best by saying its a sea creature at the bottom of the ocean made of mystery meat that jiggles when you poke it. That’s kind of like gender for me. I know I am 100% not a woman but I prefer more general labels like genderfluid guy because that’s what I am. 

Don’t get me started on how annoyed people get about me not sticking to the gender binary. Other trans people often are like “You’re the reason people are transphobic” like mf you have a single wrinkle in your brain if you think transphobes didn’t exist before it/its and neopronouns. Like why do you care if I use masculine and gender nuteral terms even though I’m afab. I’m literally a 5′4 17 year old who can’t do a push up and is scared of thunder storms and the leper from it, calm your fucking tits I’m not going to murder your family or make you transition. 

Don’t get me fucking started on people constantly sexualizing me for being trans. I think it’s the combination of me being trans, chubby and sometimes being fem that makes people think it’s ok to call me sexual terms even though I clearly state I am a fucking minor. Even if I was an adult it’s not fucking ok to call a stranger a slur I don’t want to say becaus typing it let alone saying it makes me feel gross. I had an interaction with an ex of mine who complained when I told him to stop misgendering me because he “finds it really hot” and “thought I was into it”. Also speaking of exes I have had many exes try to explain to me, a trans person, how gender dysphoria works and how I don’t have it because sometimes I wear a skirt and do makeup and don’t bind 24/7. A lot of my exes have been from the UK which makes me want to hate the region as a whole but Brahms Heelshire and Christian Bales exists (along with other actors I’m forgetting) are from the UK so for now they get a pass. 

People act like because I’m a minor I don’t know I’m actually trans but the moment I become and adult I’m “grooming” kids by talking about being trans. Hrt and other gender affirmations have saved my life. For the first 14 years of my life I thought I was a girl was hell for me. It only got worse as puberty went on. If I could have gone on hormone blockers before I started puberty I would have 100%. I remember being excited for puberty because I always felt like something about me was off so I thought thats what would fix it. 

Also I don’t have to and am not going to debate my basic human rights and happiness with you. I deserve respect as a trans person and I deserve healthcare. On a side note America should step up like most other wealthy nations in the world and make heathcare free. Also I hate the fact the only trans men I really ever see are skinny, masculine and maybe cis passing trans men. Along with gender dysphoria I have body dysmorphia which makes me feel even worse about my body. It crushes me to think about how I’ll never look like other trans men or even cis men because of how big my rib cage is and how my shoulders are never going to be right. How I can’t get rid of stretch marks and I most likely will have to pay out of pocket for facial masculineization surgery. I struggle to lose weight for many reasons which has led to eating disorders and so much fucking guilt. 

I remember being told by an ex that I’ll always be an ugly fat t slur and I often think back to those words. I’ve never felt healthy true romantic love and I feel like I never fucking will because I’ll always be an ugly, fat t slur. Even in friend groups I’m the odd one out, even among other trans people. I have to constantly explain I can’t do this or that because of my bone structure and weight and how I can never feel comfortable wearing anything and most of the time all the “help” or “tips” I get is equivilent to me asking for maple syrup and everyone telling me to go lick a maple tree. 

This kind of explains why my comfort characters are slashers along with Carrie White and Ben Handscome. I can relate to what they deal with and while none of them are trans men (canonnicaly) I can still find comfort in knowing that someone else understands what it’s like. I know this is kind of over sharing and literally no one cares but I just have to vent these feelings somewhere and this is my blog where I can do what I want. 

[nukenai]

I’d wanted to do costume stuff with Rogue today and potentially get photos. but at like 10am the barn owner’s son posted “oh surprise we’re having the barn pressure washed and painted today so basically nobody can go near the barn or access it at all” and i just.

I am actively seeking out other boarding opportunities again now bc I am just so sick of the absolute lack of management of this facility. The owner is so hard to get ahold of, is always fucking off to florida for days on end with no notice to the boarders because we’re all assumed to just be telling each other about it (nobody tells me anything), and the barn manager is an unhinged maniac who treats her animals like shit and is never not badmouthing the boarders, workers, and literally everyone else on earth who isn’t her (because she, of course, is perfect). She’s one of those “yeah I gotta bad attitude, not my problem! you all gotta DEAL with it!” types of Awful People.

And it’s like I’ve put up with it for what, 4 years at this point? It’s a miracle I haven’t fought anybody bc I just keep my head down, pay my board, and don’t start shit. But whenever I stand up for myself I get attitude for it. I asked for months to get a fucking shelter for my horses and the solution was “we put a shelter in a different paddock and will move them to that paddock”. I hate it.

Not to mention I befriended one of the workers who boarded her horse there. But then moved him. She quit this past Wednesday because it was like pulling teeth for her to ACTUALLY GET PAID FOR HER WORK? And the owner would constantly nickel and dime her and be like “it’s costing me too much to pay you”. MAYBE STOP BUYING PREGNANT HORSES THEN, IDIOT, or letting your stupid fucking daughter-in-law “run” the farm, while having ~7 board-free horses that are taking up stalls in your barn!

The owner’s biggest problem is that she is extremely conflict adverse and has never been able to actually put her foot down about anything. This leads to her being disorganized. The fences (where there are actual wood fences and not just electric wire) are falling apart 24/7 but hey, better get the barn pressure washed instead(?????).

Luckily. My connection with my former worker friend is helping out. Because she knows tons of people who board their horses in places that may not publicly advertise that they have boarding all the time (I understand why places wouldn’t do that). My biggest problem is I want my girls outside. Rain HATES the stall and they do not need to be in and out constantly. They like living outside. But so many places out here are Equestrian Facilities(tm) that are full of rich people and they charge $800 a month for board and they’re like “The stalls have pillows in it and your horse gets a private violin player”. Bitch, they’re animals. Fucking farm animals. Can you just give me a fenced pasture to put them in and feed them twice a day for me? Literally all I want. Most places don’t even have pasture board AVAILABLE and just. WHY!! why. Stupid. stupid.

But hey. wish me luck finding a new place. There’s only so much bad management and bullshit I can put up with for years on end.

[breakyeol]

Give Him a Show

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: college au, friends to lovers au, suggestive, tiny pinch of angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: strong language, fuckboy!chanyeol being an complete asshole, !!! themes of harassment (not with malicious intent but it’s still not okay) !!! , mentions of drinking and marijuana use, mild groping, heavy making out

A/N ; hey guys. I feel like there is a slightly more serious topic addressed in this one shot. never let a man or woman or anyone treat you the way Chanyeol treats reader in this. don’t be afraid to put your foot down and tell them to fuck off. and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it then ask a friend or family member or anyone you trust for help. please be safe and don’t be afraid to say no ♡ also! this one shot in NO WAY portrays Chanyeol’s true character!! we all know that he is a respectful gentleman in real life thank you and goodnight

It was too often that you found yourself in places like this, surrounded by people like them.

Places like this being an entirely too crowded apartment, the scent of weed and sweat intertwining in the air, the deep bass of a song pulsing from unseen speakers causing the floor to vibrate beneath your sneaker clad feet.

People like them being your so called ‘friends’ who partied every weekend and got shit faced or cross faded every time an opportunity presented itself.

Don’t get it wrong, you knew how to get down and dirty with the worst of them. But tonight had been one of those nights— one of those nights that all you wanted was to sprawl yourself out in your bed and binge watch Scream for the gazillionth time while stuffing your face full of all your favorite snack foods. It hadn’t been the best day in the world, and just being able to sit back and unwind seemed like the most ideal use of your free time.

Unfortunately, that plan was abruptly negated when your friends got the brilliant idea of partying until their legs gave out. They found it of the utmost importance to drag you along as well, claiming dramatically it had been forever since you last hung out with them.

Since the beginning of the night, you had been tucked into the corner of the room on one of the unoccupied couches, pretending to nurse the cup of god knows what kind of alcohol, and wearing your best resting bitch face in hopes that everyone would just stay the fuck away. Thus far, the strategy had been successful. If someone started coming in your direction, all you had to do was shoot them an icy glare and they’d immediately spin around and walk in the opposite direction.

Though, there was one particular person that seemed to be completely oblivious to your blatant disinterest in being here.

“Y/n!”

You grimaced at the familiar booming voice, reluctantly tearing your eyes off of the window where you’d been counting the lights of passing cars on the street bellow. The one and only Park Chanyeol stood before you, signature lopsided smirk plastered across his face.

You’d known Chanyeol since high school, but you really only knew each other because of your mutual friends. In all honesty, you didn’t consider him much more than a good acquaintance. He was a sweet guy, funny and bright and very outgoing.

But, he was also one of the biggest fuck boys you’d ever met. And he was not shy in displaying the fact that he had wanted to hook up with you, to the point where you couldn’t even pretend that it was just your ego. Not-so-subtly eye fucking you whenever you walked into the room, constantly pressing you about your ideal man or what kind of guy you were interested in, finding any and every excuse to be near you or touch you in one way or another. It was all a bit excessive, especially considering that you just weren’t interested in him like that. Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to get the hint— or, he just didn’t care.

All his indirect advances made it a bit uncomfortable for you to be around him. That was another reason you’d been subtly avoiding hanging out with the big group of friends, because he was always there. And every time you weren’t, he’d text or call you about it and you’d have to make up an excuse as to why you didn’t show.

It wasn’t even like he actually liked you, either. All that he wanted was to snag a quick fuck.

You’d told him straight up on several occasions that you just were not interested, when his advances got too much for you to put up with. He’d lay off for the rest of the night, and if you were lucky the rest of the next day. But by the next, he’d be right back to his flirting and excessive touching. The dude was relentless.

And it was honestly getting a bit exhausting.

But for tonight, you smile politely and just deal.

“Hey, Chanyeol.”

“I’m surprised you came!” He said, voice louder than usual, falling onto the couch beside you like it was where he belonged. You tensed at the feeling of his thigh pressing firmly against yours, and attempted to scoot away from him, only to be stopped by the arm rest digging into your side.

Shit. Did he not know about personal space? More than likely he did, but just didn’t give a fuck.

You only offered a mild nod of your head in response, lips tight, body rigid. He should have been able to feel it with how tightly he’d pressed himself up against you, should’ve felt the tension in your muscles, the uneasiness rolling off of you thick, heavy waves. But he didn’t even flinch, tossing a nonchalant arm over the back of the couch behind your head. You curled in on yourself as his fingers feathered over your shoulder, the corner of your lip lifting in an uncontainable grimace.

“Yeah, me too.”

For whatever reason, the stiff, grumbled response coaxed a round of guffawing belly laughter from the boy squeezed against you. Personally, you didn’t think it was all that funny.

“Well, I, for one, am very glad you came. But why are you over here all by yourself?”

You shrugged, sinking your teeth into the inside of your lip and turning away from him, opting to give your attention to the lack of stars visible in the light polluted night sky. “Just... not in the mood for all this, I guess.” The empty reply was intended to cut this one sided conversation short as soon as possible.

“Then... do you wanna get out of here?” He whispered the question against the shell of your ear, and you couldn’t help the way you lurched away from him. His breath reeked of vodka, the scent so strong that you couldn’t help the way your nose wrinkled in disgust. One thorough look at him was all it took to confirm your suspicions. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, his hooded eyes unfocused and bloodshot.

“You’re wasted, Chanyeol.” You deadpanned, arms folding over your chest.

“What?! N– no I’m not!” You could clearly hear the faint slur of his words now, only solidifying your point further. He was thoroughly shit faced. And if you weren’t too off base, you thought you caught a whiff of weed clinging to his plaid button up. “I’m fine, y/n!” He insisted, apparently lucid enough to catch the look of disbelief that flashed across your face. A sober Chanyeol was one thing, but dealing with him while he was cross faded? That was above your qualifications as an acquaintance.

“Listen, let’s just go somewhere, yeah?” He hiccuped and you almost hissed as one of his hands fell on your knee, and quickly pushed it away. A faint downward twitch of his lips was the only indication he even noticed it had happened, before he was covering it up with a wide grin and leaning in closer. “I know this great pancake place, open 24/7, most delicious milkshakes you’ve ever had in your life. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?”

You knew damn well that just ‘chilling’ was nowhere near being on this man’s mind.

“I say you’re drunk and need to lay down and drink some water.”

“Come on, y/n~” He whined at your blunt reply, and your brows furrowed in distaste as he tugged you closer, only to leap into your hairline when you caught his hazy gaze slip down to your mouth. He bit his lip, eyes fluttering. Fuck. Fuck. Was he going to kiss you? Shit. You couldn’t let this happen. But as you pulled away, he pushed further, and all at once you found yourself trapped against the wall. Fuck!

“I—!”

“Chanyeol.” Both yours and Chanyeol’s head turned, surprised by the sudden interruption. A soft breath of relief escaped your lips, though you also felt the familiar tug of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach.

“Sehun?” He mumbled, blinking in confusion.

“You’re fucked up, Chanyeol. Go drink some water.” The younger boy huffed, rolling his eyes.

“But I—”

“Seriously go, Chanyeol. Before you do something you regret when you sober up.” The exasperation in his voice brought a faint glower across Chanyeol’s face, but, to your relief, he pulled away. You watched with pursed lips as he stood on shaky legs and stumbled past his younger friend, roughly bumping his shoulder as he went.

“Fuck.” You cursed once he was out of ear shot, rubbing your palms over your face, frustration peeking.

When you looked up, Sehun was still standing there in his stupid leather jacket and ripped back jeans with his stupid black hair that fell perfectly over his annoyingly handsome face, pretty eyes narrowed into slits and focused sharply on you. You hated it when he looked like you like that. Hated the way your skin burned and your heart sped up in your chest. Hated the way your stomach stirred with butterflies. You hated it. But at the same time…

“What?” You sighed, grimacing at the faint quiver in your voice.

Sehun folded his arms over his chest. “You don’t have to put up with it, you know.”

“What?”

“It’s so obvious that you’re uncomfortable. Why don’t you just tell him to fuck off?” He asked, shifting his weight onto one hip.

“I have.” You groaned. “I’ve told him I’m not interested. He lets up for a bit but then he goes right back to pulling his usual shit.” You tried to explain, face twisting in irritation.

“Have you told him to go fuck himself?”

“Not in those words, exactly.” You admitted, rubbing at the back of your neck.

“Why not?”

“Isn’t it a bit mean? He’s an asshole but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or something...”

“Why the fuck should you care about his feelings when he refuses to consider yours?”

He wasn’t wrong.

Then again, Sehun is rarely wrong when it came down to things like that.

Even though he was the youngest, he always seemed to carry this strange sort of wisdom. He saw and understood things in ways your other friends, in ways most people just didn’t. He took the time to try and see deeper than most cared to look. You had always respected that about him.

While your other friends egged Chanyeol on, pushing you to get with him, Sehun saw past the fake smiles and forced laughter. He saw just how uncomfortable you really were. And he spoke up about it when he saw it going a bit too far. When Chanyeol got too touchy or too bold, he was usually the one to smack him upside the head and tell him to back off or pull you away. He was good like that. And it was nice to know that someone knew and was actually on your side.

Sehun had been a fixture in your friend group since high school. You hadn’t been very close to him at first because he was more on the quiet side and didn’t go out of his way to talk to you. Not to mention, the kid was intimidating as hell with all his leather jackets and ripped jeans and sharp, penetrating eyes.

Put bluntly, he scared the shit out of you the first time you met him. But then you saw him smile for the first time, saw the sweet blush that coated his cheeks when the older boys teased him, heard that goofy, high pitched laugh that rang like the loveliest bells in your ears, felt that unfamiliar fluttering in your chest. And you knew that you were done for.

The two of you hung out a lot in your freshman year of college, going on late night drives and blasting music and just living. For a while you thought that maybe— just maybe there was something there. A spark. A chance.

But he never made a move, and neither did you. Then there was Chanyeol and his flirting and annoyingly persistent determination to fuck you. Things got complicated and nothing ever ended up happening between the two of you. You thought you’d at least keep up the same momentum in your relationship, but Sehun started pulling away from you. His late night visits became less frequent, his texts dwindling to almost nonexistent, and his presence in your life becoming less and less every day. It hurt. But what the hell were you going to do about it? It was frustrating at first, but you got over it.

... kind of.

... not really.

That’s besides the point.

When you didn’t answer, Sehun sighed, taking a few tentative steps before dropping onto the couch beside you. You weren’t too sure how to feel about the space he left between you. It almost felt representative of the distance that had grown between the two of you in the past year. You didn’t like it.

“It’s not cool what he’s doing to you, you know that, right?” He asked, tilting his head at you. Concern shone through his gentle eyes, uncertainty. You couldn’t ignore the way your chest warmed at the thought that he cared. He cared about you, about your feelings. He cared, and you couldn’t begin to describe the immense joy that ignited inside of you. But you bit your lip to keep from smiling, to keep from sighing blissfully and melting into the familiar comfort of his presence brought you. The seriousness in his gaze kept you upright and alert, the topic at hand pulling you down from the brief high and you nodded gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Sehun pursed his lips, a thoughtful candescence falling over his handsome features. “I’ve known Chanyeol for a long time. He’s not a bad guy, but he is a fucking idiot and doesn’t always realize when he’s being a fucking idiot so sometimes you just gotta slap him in the face and tell him straight up to get his shit together. And he will.”

Just then, you spotted Chanyeol sauntering out of the kitchen, a water bottle gripped in his hand, a hazy kind of smirk on his face. You watched him toss an arm around Minseok’s shoulder and whisper something in his ear, tipping his head in your direction.

“You want him to back off?” You flinched at the unexpected closeness of Sehun’s voice, and made the mistake of turning to face him. He was close. So close. Close enough to count his eyelashes if you wanted. Close enough to see the faded pink of the scar on his cheek. Close enough to smell the subtle wisp of his earthy cologne. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off his skin. Your heart began thundering violently in your chest, a blazing heat blossoming beneath your skin.

“Yeah.” The word came out as less than a breathless whisper. You didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed down to your lips, before quickly snapping back up to your eyes, searching them with a tenderness that made your heart throb.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” There wasn’t a moment of hesitation, not the faintest hint of uncertainty. It was the truth. You trusted him.

He glanced out of the corner of his eye, and you followed his gaze to find Chanyeol standing across the room staring intently in your direction with brows furrowed. Gentle fingers pressing into the curve of your jaw drew your attention back to the man sitting in front of you. Ever so slightly, he tipped his face closer, his nose nudging against yours. Shallow, insufficient inhales swirled in your lungs as your eyes fluttered, utterly overwhelmed by the mere closeness of him.

“Then follow my lead.”

His lips met yours with a gentleness you weren’t entirely prepared for. They were light and cautious, waiting to see whether you’d push him off or pull him in. He let out a soft breath of relief at the feeling of your hand curling around the back of his neck, urging him closer. In an instant, he relinquished his restrains, melting into the warm pressure of your lips as you simultaneously melted into his.

You’ve experienced your fair share of kisses in the past. But something about this one — whether it was the slow, deep pace of it, or the lingering presence of ring clad fingers tracing the length of your throat, or the mere fact that it was with Oh Sehun, the boy that could set your heart ablaze with a single smile — there was just something about this kiss.

When he pulled away, you could still feel the phantom warmth, tingling on your skin. You refused to open your eyes, trying to keep the sensation alive as long as possible.

“Is that alright?”

Finally, you looked at him. And god, had you ever seen a man so beautiful? His cheeks were flushed a soft, endearing pink, deep chocolate eyes hooded and melting, lips just a touch darker in shade then they had been before. You were so awestruck by him that it took you an extra moment to realize that he’d asked you a question.

You nodded, tightening your hold around his neck in order to pull him closer and breathe the word into his open mouth before closing the distance completely, “Yes.”

Immediately following your consent, any and all of Sehun’s lingering reservations vanished. His hands dropped away from your neck, one coiling tightly around the curve of your waist and flattening against the small of your back, the other gripping your jean clad thigh and tugging it gentle over his lap. The new position ignited a dangerously familiar heat in the pit of your stomach, that quickly began to swell into something large and uncontainable, spurred by the delicious pressure of his fingers and skilled movements of his lips.

He groaned deeply as you tugged at his hair, silky tendrils clenched in a tight fist. The sound resonated through your body, vibrating in your chest and shooting straight down to your growing arousal.

“Fuck that was sexy.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat and you realized with an embarrassed flush that you’d said that out loud. But the buzz of nerve was quickly soothed when he mumbled breathlessly, “right back atcha.”

He emphasized his point by sinking his teeth into the sensitive flesh of your lower lip and tugging, eliciting a low, drawn out moan from the depths of your chest. Smooth flicks of his tongue soothed the afflicted skin, before he asked for permission to enter, not waiting a single moment to dive in when it was granted.

Feeling the burn of someone’s stare, your eyes flicked open for a moment, sliding lazily over to where Chanyeol still stood, seemingly rooted into the spot. His eyes were wide, lips gaping, cheeks flushed, though you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcoholic something else entirely. The grip he had on his water bottle had tightened substantial, and you couldn’t help the mild smugness that washed over you.

Without breaking to kiss, you kept your gaze on Chanyeol, making sure he was watching as you slid a hand around the front of Sehun’s throat, and captured his tongue between your lips, sucking gently. If possible, his mouth fell open even wider, eyes looking ready to pop out of his damn skull. Smirking to yourself, you cocked a brow at the gaping man. He visibly swallowed, before his eyes suddenly snapped down. You followed his gaze curiously and nearly scoffed in disbelief.

Of course he’d get a hard on from watching something like this. Nasty fucker.

“He still watching?” Sehun mumbled, detaching his mouth from yours only long enough to get the words out. You hummed softly in confirmation, shivering when you felt the slow upward curl of his lips. “Good. Let’s give him a show.”

In an instant, Sehun pulled you over to straddle his lap. Warm hands roamed over your body, though careful to keep a respectful distance from anything he thought you might not want him touching. You appreciated the sentiment, but with Sehun? You didn’t need respectful.

The younger boy faltered beneath you, chest swelling with a deep inhale when you reached around to grab hold of his wrists and slowly lowered them to the swells of your ass. He groaned roughly, fingers digging greedily into the jean clad flesh and pulling you flush against him.

You gasped when you felt him beneath you, hot and hard right between your hips. The rough friction made you clench and shudder, wetness spilling from your core and soaking through your panties. You probably should have been concerned about the heavy arousal seeping through the thick material of your jeans, but your mind was too far gone in the intoxicating warmth of his kiss that you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Fuck, Sehun.” You hissed, hips rolling hungrily over his.

“Baby.” He purred in response, and you swear you nearly had a fucking aneurism on the spot. Baby. Baby. Oh Sehun just called you baby. How long had you waited to hear him call you that? Too fucking long.

A desperate whimper pulsed from your throat, so entirely unlike you that it took even you by surprise. He didn’t seem to mind, pulling you so tightly against him that your ribs ached. But the pain was welcome, melting into a delicious cocktail with the fierce pleasure pulsing through your every cell.

“I don’t think he’s watching anymore.” Sehun breathed, glancing over your shoulder.

“I don’t care.”

You weren’t concerned about Chanyeol any more, far more focused on how Sehun’s lips tasted like mint and honey, and not like alcohol. The fact that he hadn’t drank made you feel even better, if that were possible.

Honest to god you probably would have fucked him right then and there on that couch in front of everyone (and felt damn good about it too) if not for the gentle pressure of Sehun’s fingers digging into your rolling hips, forcing their slow grinding to come to an abrupt halt. You pulled away from him then, completely out of breath and more turned on than you’d been in your entire life. Sehun was in a similar state, panting and flushed, damn near throbbing in the tight confines of his sexy ripped jeans.

“What is it?” You asked, still panting.

He shot you a lopsided grin. “As much as I would love to fuck your brains out in front of all these self centered assholes...” a hand drifted up the line of your body, delicate fingers following the cut of your jaw to trace over the seam of your bottom lip. “I think I’d prefer our first time together to be somewhere a bit more… private? Intimate? Somewhere I can treat you how you deserve to be treated.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, warmth spreading through your body in thick, invigorating waves.

“What’d you have in mind?” You asked softly, feathering your lips over his. He smiled.

“I know this great pancake place that’s open 24/7, best milkshakes you’ve ever had. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?” Laughter bubbled at your lips as he mimicked the same line Chanyeol had used on you earlier with a cheesy grin.

And yet, the feeling was entirely different.

Sucking your lips into your mouth, you nodded shyly, arms going slack over his broad shoulders.

“Only if you’re paying.” You hummed playfully.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, “I’ll make an exception to my ‘seniors always pay rule’ just this once. Only for you.”

Only for you.

You could definitely get used to that.

[seacottons]

— uni with atz pt. two

notes: swearing, fluff, mildly suggestive dialogue. tags: @latte-fairytaekwoon

seonghwa — [ early edu. + developmental psych. ]

extremely organized in all aspects of his life

your bookshelf at home consists of books on developmental studies in children.

if he isn't in class or volunteering, he's either cuddling with you or reading.

stressed 24/7.

takes very pretty and neat notes.

randomly spits out facts throughout the day.

sometimes, you join him during his volunteer hours at various daycares and schools.

is all the children's favorite teacher.

extremely patient and soft-spoken when it comes to working with even the most difficult child.

also loves being called 'teacher hwa'.

"i don't know, if i were you, i would make the students call me king san."

"they'll probably end up bullying you," seonghwa replies back.

you don't know how he has the patience for the amount of children he has to take care of.

takes you picture-book shopping with him for his students.

finds himself singing nursery rhymes while cooking or cleaning.

has polaroids of you two stuck on the fridge.

brings lint rollers to work.

gets worked up in public if a parent seems too neglectful in any way.

"y/n!" he tugs at your elbow and points with his jaw to the right, "look! his kid is just spilled all that paint on the floor, and he didn't even bat an eyelash!?"

"don't intervene again, please."

"okay, but-"

the whining of metal and steel cut him off, and the two of you jump in fright at the sound of a shelf falling apart.

"some people really shouldn't have kids."

whines when he comes back home that the paint stain and glitter just won't come off his clothes no matter how many times he rubs the spots with warm water.

or how he has mulch stuck in his socks and shoes from taking the kids outdoors to play.

you somehow always end up finding a googly eye or specks of glitter under the couch.

sometimes brings home finger-paintings with numerous colorful hearts and two stick figures in the middle.

"today's assignment was to paint what makes you happy."

you also help him stitch up little felt and cotton dolls for the kids to keep.

often gets sick from working with children.

and passes it onto you by accident.

you know he's had a bad day when you ask him how it went, and his face scrunches up in pain.

stormed into your shared apartment one day and made a beeline to the bathroom.

forty minutes later, he comes out, towel wrapped around his hips, face and chest flushed, and explains that a child accidentally peed on him.

gets flustered when you laugh at his demise.

sometimes uses his teacher voice when scolding you or your mutual friends.

and you all end up teasing him more anyway.

"do you use that tone in bed too, hwa?" yeosang asks one day. mingi and yunho splutter out in disbelief, followed by loud laughter.

you choked on your bite of cake at the sudden remark.

"what did i ever do to deserve this slander," seonghwa grumbles whilst patting your back.

he often stays up late making lesson plans for both his classes and ones to implement at work as well.

takes full advantage of his teacher's discount at shops and restaurants.

sometimes brags about it to his friends to get under their skin.

"you have it easy. just watching kids and getting free food," san says one day in the middle of their game of jenga.

"it's not easy at all," you hear seonghwa reprimand the younger, and laughter rings out from the other four guests.

"you're learning about children! what's so hard-"

you had a hunch that seonghwa purposely tilted the wooden tower to tumble over an unsuspecting san.

"y/n! your boyfriend is trying to murder me!"

seonghwa paces in circles around your apartment whilst studying for an upcoming exam.

asks you to quiz him on certain materials.

"correct! okay, can you define the preoperational stag-"

"how many kids do you want to have in the future?"

"..what?"

"kids. how many do you want to have with me?" he presses further, eyes trained on your face rather intently.

"can't this conversation wait until you finish studying?"

"no. i'm too curious," he licks at his chapped lips and leans in to poke your forehead, "i need to know. this is important information. please."

yeosang — [ biology pre-med ]

met you through your mutual friend, wooyoung, who invited him to live in your shared dorm.

"you didn't tell me you have a dog?" yeosang turns to wooyoung, brow quirked up whilst pointing to the 'beware of dog' sign on one of the bedroom doors.

"oh, i don't. i just put that up to mess with y/n," wooyoung dismissively explained while making a sandwich.

is the reason why you and wooyoung haven't killed each other yet.

asked you out after five months of moving with you and wooyoung.

designated one of the kitchen's shelves as a medical supply closet.

"because wooyoung always ends up hurting himself without doing anything."

"i do not."

stress is his middle name.

constantly contemplates his life decisions.

"wooyoung! shut up! i can't finish my essay with you blabbering every damn second!"

you had to get used to the sight of a full sized anatomical skeleton in his room.

"okay, but i'm not letting you fuck me with that thing in here."

later that night, wooyoung's heart nearly burst in his chest from fright.

"yeosang! why the fuck is your skeleton in my room!?"

some nights, during dinner, yeosang slams his obnoxiously large textbooks onto the table, and insists for the two of you to quiet down while he skims over the pages a few times.

"can't you just enjoy your meal for five-"

"no. now hush."

not only does he have labs, presentations, and essays to worry about, but he also got accepted for a pre-med internship at a local hospital.

hardly goes out anymore during his free time.

most dates include cuddling on the couch or baking something in the kitchen.

stays up late at night to complete assignments.

towers of thick books decorate his nightstand.

"no, yeosang. i really don't want to see you dissecting a cat," you grimace, turning quickly and shielding your eyes from his phone.

"why not?" yeosang whines softly, hand tugging the hem of your shirt with a frown, "it's not that bad, i promise-"

he's cut off when wooyoung snatches the phone from him with a loud cry, "gross! y/n, you're letting him touch you after he touched that?! and fuck- what is that smell?"

"that's formaldehyde. now give me back my phone before i dissect you next."

you join him at the lab when he has extra work piled up.

"you look so cute with a white coat and goggles."

you prod and poke him repeatedly, asking him numerous questions about the specimens in the lab.

"y/n! don't touch that!"

one day, wooyoung comes home sick.

you insist on taking him to see a doctor, only for him to emit a haughty laugh at you.

"why would i waste my time and money when i have yeosang here?"

"but woo, he didn't even get into med-school yet-"

wooyoung insists he doesn't need to see a professional, "yeosang is practically our live-in doctor! why do you think i begged him to move in?"

you roll your eyes, calling for yeosang to persuade the younger male.

"alright, tell me your symptoms," your boyfriend sighs, plopping down onto the couch beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

after wooyoung explains everything and takes his own temperature, he peers at yeosang for an answer, "well?"

"you're dying," yeosang nods simply.

wooyoung's visage pales, and he scrambles to sit up on the couch with a disturbed expression.

"what?"

yeosang is always studying.

always.

studying.

you insist for him to take a break sometimes.

"i can't. i have lab tomorrow. oh, and a paper."

"but you always say that!"

you attempt to tug him out of his seat.

"come on! just for an hour, and we'll be back. promise."

he's always reluctant at first, but finds himself agreeing later anyway.

enjoys the small dates at the nearby lake probably more than you do.

mingi — [ accounting ]

a gifted genius when it comes to numbers.

is your very own math tutor.

jokingly asks you to pay him back.

he accepts kisses and hugs. baked pastries are also a bonus.

"y/n? are you okay?" a hand waves in front of your face.

you blink at him wordlessly, mind fogged from the bombardment of information you just received, "sorry- you lost me. can you repeat the process again?"

he playfully smacks your shoulder with the ruler and stomps his bare feet onto the tiled floor, "this is the third time!"

"i'm sorry! you know how i am with math!"

he begs you to take classes with him as electives.

"sorry, baby. i love you, but there's no way i'll ever take statistics."

"okay, what about economics?"

"no."

"management? business administration!?"

"no and no."

"but y/n! it'll be fun! you'll be with me!"

always whines about how much he hates having to take 'stupid management classes' and the group projects that come along with them.

"they never take the assignments seriously!"

said group visits your apartment to work on projects with mingi.

"aren't you supposed to be working on that project?"

you watch as mingi and his friends suddenly erupt in an explosive argument about the game they were currently playing.

"yeosang! what the fuck!?"

"it's y/n's fault mingi was distracted!"

you let out an indignant squawk and glare at yeosang.

"that round didn't count."

"stop being a sore loser, san!"

"so.. i take it you didn't even start?" you grimace, peering over to the untouched books and papers on the coffee table.

"it's just management class. no big deal," san explains quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand before nudging your boyfriend with a glare, "you better not make us lose this time, or i'll kidnap y/n."

stays up late to finish other work that's due.

loves to wear big spectacles when studying.

it 'helps him focus'.

writes notes on his calculator and slides it towards you while you're both home studying.

'n-3^07-!'

"mingi, what is that?"

"read it upside down, you bum."

has a coffee mug with 'i love π' in big, bold, red letters.

refuses to throw it away even though the rim is chipped.

always bugs you about how you should have a budget plan.

insists on teaching you how to make spreadsheets on excel.

"i can't do this, mingi. too much numbers give me a headache."

"do you want my lucky glasses?"

rambles on about things related to his field, and you can only nod in confusion every time.

"how does your brain keep up with all of this?"

"easy. just be one with the numbers."

"that was a bad pun.."

"you're supposed to laugh!"

mingi was that typical student who complained about studying, but is always the one acing everything with the highest score.

"i should just quit university and become a stripper."

"you say that every exam week, and yet, you always pass with the highest grades," you mumble from the other side of the couch, absentmindedly highlighting a few sentences in your book.

"yeah, but studying is a pain in the ass," he exhaled with a loud groan, head thrown back against the back of the couch, "why me, y/n?"

you roll your eyes while reaching over to pat the side of his face in comfort.

"everything will work out just fine."

later that week, he joyfully bounces into your apartment with a large grin plastered on his face, "guess what?"

you snort in amusement.

"let me take a wild guess. you aced your exam."

"and guess who has the highest score?" he tugged you forward by your cheeks with a bright grin.

"yeosang?" the cheery expression on his features suddenly vanished, causing you to laugh, "i'm kidding."

likes to study while attached to your side, wearing comfortable pajamas and warm socks.

sulks whenever his stock investments drop further than he expects.

and is always in a good mood whenever the prices spike back up.

always has a horrible math pun up his sleeve.

sends you accounting memes and becomes a gloomy mess when you don't laugh or understand the joke.

"what if i propose to you with a math problem? and we have pie instead of cake?"

"please don't bring math into our love life."

yunho — [ broadcasting journalism ]

roommates with you, hongjoong, and jongho.

is called 'newspaper boy' by hongjoong.

is well-known around campus for being one of the student journalists for the university's newspaper.

you have the very first published paper, with his full name printed on the front, framed in the hallway of your dorm.

has the prettiest hands.

and longest fingers you've ever seen.

can put them to good use.

especially when typing out essays. they're practically blurred from how swift he is.

likes to ramble about current international events to jongho early in the morning. the latter pretends to understand, giving the other false hope.

jongho always sends you a pleading look to save you from your lover.

always carries a notebook.

article deadlines = stressed yunho.

complains that his friends are 'uncultured'.

helps you with your essays.

if he has enough time, he'll actually re-write it for you.

"was it really that bad?"

"it's okay, baby. you're good at other things."

"how come you don't re-write my papers?" jongho huffs from across the living room.

"you're not y/n."

interviews you and your other roommates for his projects.

you smile from behind him as he zooms in obnoxiously close to hongjoong's disgruntled expression.

"he zoomed in on my nose again, didn't he?" the blue haired male asks you.

"sorry, but that tomato sauce stain is really distracting me."

hongjoong nearly drops his fork.

"what stain!?" he furiously rubs his face with the back of his hand, "see! i told you that you always interview us at the most inconvenient time!"

is constantly writing.

can be very unorganized.

"who took my ap stylebook!?"

"can you stop shouting? it's 6 a.m., yunho!" hongjoong growls from his bedroom.

mingi and seonghwa often visit your dorm because they're usually partnered with yunho for an assignment.

it somehow always winds up with mingi and yunho fooling around, whilst seonghwa struggles to persuade them to help him with the work.

sometimes, you tag along to help film his public social experiment projects.

is a social-bug, so people are instantly drawn to him.

likes to cuddle with you while watching the films for his assignments.

you think most of them are pretty boring, but being in his lap and tucked against his chest makes up for it.

you like to add glittery stickers onto his video camera and tripod.

is very much infatuated with you, so he doesn't mind one bit.

applied for a paid broadcasting radio station/tv internship over the summer and was quickly accepted.

asks you to help him style his hair for his first day at work.

"but it's just a radio station. no one's going to see you?" jongho questions with a perplexed expression.

"i still need to look presentable!"

and later that day you quickly hush the two males beside you once the clock strikes 2 p.m.

"quiet! yunho should be on any second now!"

"i was just breathing?" hongjoong whispers weakly.

over dinner, jongho often mimics yunho's reporting voice.

"y/n, do i really sound like that?" yunho pouts as you and hongjoong burst into fits of laughter.

"aw, don't be sad. i love your reporter voice, baby."

will wake everyone up early the next morning by yelling at the top of his lungs with his reporter voice just to get back at you three for laughing at him.

[versegm]

Get into Fate so you can discover wonderful characters such as

- “A god tried to possess me so I pulled a reverse uno card on him and now I’m going feral with his powers while wearing a fursuit”

- “I betrayed my best friend and she wON’T FUCKING BLAME ME FOR IT and the guilt is so intense it drove me insane and now I sorely seek to die by her sword for atonement”

- “My best friend betrayed me but I never blamed him because in the end I just want him happy, but by ignoring the issue I drove him insane from guilt and now he wants me to kill him and it’s MY fault he’s like this please don’t make me kill you PLEASE don’t make me kill you”

- “I thought I was amnesiac but turns out I just plain didn’t exist prior to this moment. It’s debatable whether I exist as a person right now or not. I am not having a good time.”

- “I am filled with rage 24/7 because of a curse, and the worst part is I’m angry about things that haven’t happened none of this is real it was all lies but I am physically unable to not feel seething hatred at any given moment someone please make it stop.”

- “Divinity has offered me a hand, and I chose no. I chose myself. I chose to leave this tower at the end of the world and roam the skies free and hated. I ride with the wild hunt, leaders of the wraiths, and somehow, out of all the possible versions of me, I am the only human one.”

- “I used to be a monster, and I am so terrified of being one again that I’ve effectively lobotomized myself to ensure I would never be able to.”

- “I am the silly happy-go-lucky cloudcukoolander. That is because the Moon has stolen my mind and I’m constantly at 50% strength because I’m only fully back to myself on moonless nights.”

- “I have woken up for the first time in centuries ina body- a REAL body, of flesh and blood and life. It’s the body of a child. They offered me the body of a CHILD. THEY SACRIFICED A CHILD i’ll kill them I’LL KILL THEM ALL.”

- “You are my best friend. You have to understand. I couldn’t let you die. I couldn’t let you die. I didn’t mean for things to be like this. I’m sorry. Good fucking god, I am so fucking sorry.”

- “I’m not the chosen one. I’m not even the most competent one. I’m just the only survivor left.”

[koutone-moved]

Saeran/Ray After Ending: My Thoughts

Hey everyone! I’m not one to really go in-depth about stuff in here, but I really felt the urge to talk about this since Saeran is a character that is really dear to me and this After Ending was something that I and many, many other people had been looking forward to for a long time.

I’ll be talking spoilers about the entire AE below the cut, so please beware!

I wanted to start off with the things I really did enjoy. 

Cheritz trying new things with the AEs for both V and Saeran was really great, in my opinion. They could have stuck with the previous format of just giving us sneak peeks into the respective couple’s life after getting together but instead decided to turn them into complete story expansions that felt more like Secret Endings. The effort and care everyone at Cheritz has put into these storylines is incredible and they deserve all the kudos and praise. 

The chatroom format was a really cool idea and having the player influence the outcome was something I greatly enjoyed. Having the story be a romance/thriller combination was super fun and immersive, too. The prologue was a great hook in my opinion--it had my heart beating fast with anxiety from the very start lolol.

ALL THE SAERAN FLUFF AND CALLS, LORD ALMIGHTY. I ADORED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I totally picture Saeran being a really cheesy and adoring boyfriend, especially since MC is so precious to him. I think they hit the nail right in the head with this.

The CGs were BEAUTIFUL. I was shocked at how many we got for a 4-day story, and they all really brought the story to life. Huge props to Cheritz for the immense effort they put into them.

The first two days of the AE (though extremely anxiety-inducing and emotionally painful for most of their duration, lol) were super entertaining and how I had always envisioned the story going down. I think having the PM and the agency unite forces as the main antagonistic force was awesome, and I really wish the story had solely focused on them.

Now, the things I didn’t like.

The Rika drama. I totally understand why addressing and breaking down Rika’s terrible actions is important for Saeran’s story. But... why, why did we need to revisit the “actually Rika has always been a good person that did some bad things” plot point when it was already done to death in V’s AE and route? I’m sorry, but this makes my blood boil.

Rika abused Saeran so badly to the point that he had to split his personality into two different people to survive, drugged him into hating his own brother, constantly told him and made him believe he was worthless if he didn’t work his ass off 24/7, killed his fucking mother, etc. The list goes on. Not to mention: she broke and drugged the minds of many other people! Not just Saeran!

I understand that the story gives us options to call Rika and V out on this bs and it encourages us to do it, but... just the fact that we have to entertain the possibility of forgiving her and letting her get off scot-free truly, truly fucking floors me.

What really bothered me about this is that this subplot took an entire day out of the 4-day story. A whole ass day that could have been spent developing the PM-agency storyline (which, again, I truly wish they had focused on). It really sucked that we had to spend a day exclusively talking to Rika and V about the same thing over, over, and over again.

V. What in the hell did Cheritz do to his character, lmao? I don’t like V at all and the actions he’s chosen to take in regards to Rika and Saeran have always truly infuriated and baffled me. But, I’ve never thought of him as someone who would willingly hurt the RFA.

I was SHOCKED to see how selfish and twisted he was in this story, especially in Day 3. He said he would never try to change Rika again and hoped she would flourish as a result and become a better person. But. My good man, how in the hell did he ever think that kidnapping two grown ass adults and forcing them to be their children was a sane decision? 

I was truly convinced until the very last moment that V returning to Rika was a red herring and that he had a plan all along to keep her in check and protect the RFA. But nope. 

I may not be a V stan, but even I know that V would never act so selfishly.

The GE/NE resolution. It felt so rushed and is the main reason why I think Day 3 should have been handled differently. The truly bullshit thing that stood out to me about it was how a short confrontation with the illegitimate son he gives no shits about is enough for the PM to have a change of heart. LOL. The corrupt, greedy prime minister that has his entire life and career hanging on a line is suddenly enlightened on his evil ways and turns himself in. Am I too cynical for thinking this resolution is stupid and makes no sense? I know at this point it was basically impossible for him to not get arrested, but I really didn’t buy this and it felt like cop-out from Cheritz’s part, writing-wise.

How Saeran’s trauma was handled. I know I already expressed loving how Saeran was towards MC in this AE, but that does not include this part specifically, lol.

I understand a big part of Saeran’s story is learning to forgive and understand to find true happiness and freedom. And I love that, it truly is a beautiful direction for his character.

I know Cheritz is not great at writing realistic trauma recovery for his characters--that was already apparent in Saeran’s route. But, I never found it so unrealistic to the point of breaking immersion for me until this AE. It just felt so silly at some points that I couldn’t even convince myself that maybe it was possible.

It’s been two weeks since he escaped Mint Eye, and... he is completely fine with talking casually to Rika, trying to understand her, and being in the same room as her? He is fine with confronting the PM and telling him he forgives him because ‘he must have a tragic past’? Really? 

Maybe he is just a better person than I am lol, but this was too much. I completely understand how someone could reach this level of inner peace and choose to forgive their abusers in order to heal. But. Two weeks. Although the circumstances were different, I think the Secret Ending handled Saeran’s recovery a lot better in this sense.

In Summary: LOVED Day 1 and 2, hated Day 3 and 4

I’m sorry if I got a bit too rant-y on the reasons why I disliked the AE LOL. I just had many feelings about it and couldn’t stop myself. If anyone wants to send me or comment their own thoughts, please feel free to do so!! I would love to read some different perspectives. 

I don’t hate the AE as whole, but it really let me down in some big ways. I’ll probably try to replay it in the future and see if I change my mind about some aspects about it, though. It’s sad to say this, but V’s AE left me feeling more fulfilled in some regards than this lol. I really wish Saeyoung would have had more involvement in the story, too.

I did love the very final epilogue for both the GE and NE, which was the main thing I was hoping for--so there’s that, I guess.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading!

[jaeminscoffee]

Rock, Paper, Scissors? | D. SC

Pairings- Dong Sicheng x reader

Genre- Crack, fluff.

Warning(s)- it's a fluff blurb, i don't think there should be any warnings unless win² being shirtless for 0.2 seconds is considered nsfw 😹😹

Word count- 1.33k

Synopsis- The pair of you always made crucial decisions with a very important, accurate technique. Here, you had to decide who'd step out to bring essentials from the convenient store.

Type- Requested! (i'm sorry this is sucky and makes no sense. I'm writing this while my exams are going so, if anything, I'll try rewriting it after my exams! Let me know!)

@kpopscape​ 

If anyone would ask you at the very moment why you were frowning hysterically, then you'd answer with two things. 

'Oh it's just, my soon to be spouse is sprawled out shirtless in the living room with a tub of almost empty, still solid ice cream on his chest' then the person asking would answer with, 'oh? you've never seen him shirtless before?' then once again, you'd answer with,

'Oh no, I have. It's the fact that it's 9 degrees minus outside on a December night and everyone's dressed in comfortable onesies but then here's Sicheng, in nothing but his sweats'

"Win.. Are you, okay..?" you approach him cautiously, having changed into your nightwear while searching for the aircon remote , shuddering at the low temperature. "No I'm not, it's steaming here-hey! Give me that remote" His face contorts into that of when someone dips their sock clad feet in water.

"No? Also, wear a shirt! You'll catch a cold you twerp!" You push the approaching hand away, climbing onto the couch (well, on top of his feet because his titan self was occupying the entire place leaving little to no space for you to squeeze in) "Y/n, I love you and all but get off my feet! I'm sweating and it's sticky" 

Your eyes widen at the slight warmth emitting from Sicheng's body, leaning forward immediately, placing the back of your palm flat on his forehead, "Do you have fever? How are you this warm?" you inquire, voice laced with concern.  Sicheng let out a guttural groan, hitting your arms softly to make you move it, "I don't, doll. It's just really hot" 

"Winwin, it's winter?? How's it hot for you?" You pull the hood of your nightwear up to cover your ears, rocking back and forth in an attempt to bring some warmth to your frigid body. 

"You see, the practice went on for hours which had warmed up my body, to add on top of that, that stupid closed rooms aircon is broken. And then when I thought I would go to the boys' dorm, their aircon has been gone for repair for like, i don't know, ever since i can remember and my dumbass wore three layers of thick clothing. So, it's hot." Winwin concludes, reaching in to scoop some more of the cold food only to be met with the base of the tub he had on his bare chest. 

"Urgh oh god I'm out of ice cream, great" he groans as you look at him with a sketchy expression, lowkey judging him and not trying to hide the fact. "Is that the pack of 4 that i bought two days ago?" you ask, letting your leg fall down from the couch and onto the floor as you slowly lift yourself up to stand again. 

"Maybe? But Y/n I'm out of ice cream. Go get me some more, please?" he tried telling it in the most convincing tone he could muster, only to still get your bemused look. "No? Why would i do that??"

"I don't think you heard me right the first time, I am out of ice cream."

"I still don't see why i should go outside, alone, in this freezing cold weather, just to get you ice cream" you stand, folding your hands in front of your chest. "Because i could die of a heat stroke if you don't provide me with something cold"

"You could always go sit inside the freezer" you shrug, loving his constant expression change from the conversation you're having. "Besides, the most you could die of right now would be frostbite so go put on a tank top at the least." 

"Y/n, pleaseee, I'm really tired to go out and in desperate need to eat something cold" Sicheng exclaimed dramatically, getting up to tower beside you. "Eat ice?" 

"Just did before i took of the ice cream" 

"Please?" He pleaded, with the softest puppy eyes he could possibly make, almost making you give in if it weren't for the sudden shudder you'd felt from the cold gust of wind flowing through the void of your living room. 

"I would, Sicheng, you know I would. It's just too cold." you state, feeling bad for constantly saying no to him when he's been pleading from the moment you entered the room.

 "You could still go, you know? It'll be perfect for you to go because it could help cool down your body" you shrug off 

Now, if anyone asked you why you're wearing a foul, sore expression then all you'd do was flip them off. 

You hated yourself for ever even second considering whether to go get him ice cream or not, you see, you did need some snacks to stack up and veggies and all that but you wouldn't have gone out this late to do so, especially not at a 24/7 seven-eleven store. 

But you had to comply as Sicheng had the upper hand. All thanks to the stupid rigged game of rock, paper, scissor that you MOST definitely did not initiate. Well. You did. And now you're paying the price. 

"There's no use fuming like that, you know?" Winwin pushes you to the side of the aisle to let a fellow shopper pass by with his shopping cart, while he bows down slightly to apologize at the unintentional death glare you'd given to him. 

Yes, the deal called for the loser to go get the essentials and of course, whatever the other craved. Winwin expected himself to be the loser knowing his luck, but shockingly for the first time, he'd won three games in a row which ended up with you as the declared loser.

But Sicheng definitely was not going to send you out amidst the dark twilight, well, he did consider it, but his 'good boyfriend' etiquettes called for never letting you go into any situation that screamed danger. And walking outside, late at night, unarmed definitely seems dangerous and he wasn't about to take risks. 

"Fuck off" you scheme through the ramen packets while trying to keep the material of your padded jacket close to emit warmth, any sort of warmth to keep you the slightest of frost free.

"Love you too. Anyways, I'll go get the drinks, rose milk for you, hm? Come find me there once you're done" he announced, getting ready to remove his wallet and get out the list he'd prepared for other needed items that aren't snacks. 

"Oh? Y/n? What are you doing here this late at night?" You heard someone speak behind you, the voice loud enough to stop Sicheng in his track and make him look behind to see who recognized you through the layers of clothing you'd adorned. 

"Yuta! Hey, yeah, just came out to get groceries, and ice cream because someone i know is a psychopath" you claim in a salty tone, making both the males chuckle while Winwin made his way back to you, recognizing the latter as someone who was in the same major as him back in the days. 

"Who is that?" Yuta, a close acquaintance of yours inquired. Having known him for a very short time, you could only describe him as the life of the party. One who goes along with any jokes cracked by anyone, literally. 

"Oh it's-" you look around you, finding Winwin a few yards away from you, as you walk towards him slightly, pulling him using the material of his t-shirt. "-Dong Sicheng, my ex-boyfriend" you smile, speaking through your teeth, while Yuta let out a loud laugh enough to grab the ones' near you guys' attention. "Doesn't seem like a psychopath to me"

"Y/n, you need to stop introducing me to people like that" Winwin sighs, only to break out into a given up smile as he looks at your puffed cheeks and furrowed eyebrows. Extending his hands forward, he corrected your description of him, 

"Hi, I'm Sicheng, Y/n's fiancé"