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madmandex-blog · 5 years ago

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Dexter Family Newsletter 2019

As I reflect back on our year, I can’t help but think of Charles Dickens and his classic line…..It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…...and how appropriate it might be to summarize our 2019.

It was the age of wisdom…….as in Kelsi completing her first year in grad school at Rockhurst University in Kansas City. If you didn’t know Kelsi and listened to her talk about school, you might think she is barely passing. If I had a nickel for every time Kelsi told me something like….That final exam did not go well; I did terrible….Only for me to later find out that she got something like a 107 on the test, well then I might have a lot of nickels to jingle in my pocket. Kelsi is getting all A’s as usual and well on her way to graduating in 2020 with a Masters in Speech Pathology. She is enjoying her classes and her clinical training, and has a great supervisor who is guiding her to be gainfully employed later in 2020, most likely in a school setting. Nic is also excelling at Rockhurst and working on his Doctorate in Physical Therapy. What impresses me most about Nic and Kelsi is that they indeed have wisdom in their respective areas of study. In other words, they really seem to know their shit. Meanwhile, Kaylee Jo is now in her sophomore year in high school where she obsesses about getting good grades, which she always does. Ava Jae is in 8th grade and doing well. Don’t tell anyone, but, I consider her my smartest kid.

It was the age of foolishness…….as in Mike spending countless hours managing and competing in a mere 7 fantasy football leagues, or in Mike completing his 42nd Old Chicago World Beer Tour. Along the way, I earned a leather lettermen jacket which Kelly just today told me that I looked like my Dad when wearing it. I took that as a compliment and proudly wore it about town where people looked at me in awe, as they often do, but, I digress. Mike also became a more well-rounded drinker in 2019. You see, I was lucky to get to spend a lot of time with my eldest daughter this summer who not only got me addicted to the Crime Junkies Podcast, but also too good wine. Credit is also due to the great Tackes family for showing me the redeeming virtues of drinking wine and now even whiskey. So don’t be surprised to see me knocking back a Red Cab or sipping a bourbon in a cool sophisticated fashion. If only, I had known about these things years ago…..what might have been, or perhaps not been, like 42 beer tours.

It was the epoch of belief……..in love and marriage as Kelsi became Mrs. Nic Arnone on August 10th in what turned out be an awesome ceremony and beautiful day for the two of them. When they were both working on details like what are we having for having for dessert a couple of days before the big day, I was frankly a little worried, but, as it turns out the two of them are master wedding planners. Everything was great from the venue, to the decorations, to the caterer, to the photographer, and most importantly…..to the bartender, backed by yours truly stocking the bar. Yes, we had an awesome reception and we were so blessed to have so many of you travel all the way to Kansas City to celebrate with us! In case you weren’t able to be there, rumor has it that there is video available of Mike’s fantastic wedding toast speech. Sure, there are critics like Kaylee and Ava who will say, it wasn’t all that, but, most of those at the reception gave me high fives for my performance…at least the ones who were drinking that is. Kelsi is most happy that as a Speech Therapist that I finally learned how to pronounce her new last name. For those of you who don’t know, you need to emphasize the last “e” in Arnone as it is an Italian name. After meeting Nic’s family, I finally believe he is indeed Italian, after I had long presumed he was Norwegian or Swedish given his fair skin, blue eyed, blonde hair good looks.

It was the epoch of incredulity…….and speaking of family heritage, Mike took the Ancestry DNA test in 2019. Upon arrival of the test kit, I was in great disbelief as to how hard it actually is to fill up a one ounce test tube with saliva. Trust me, it was challenging. As it turns out, I am 59% English, 33% Irish, 3% Swedish, 3% German, and 2% Norwegian, which makes me 110% Awesome, which I didn’t need a DNA test to know. So far, it is incredulous that I have not found any long lost rich relatives who want to connect with me, but, I will keep the hope. Speaking of incredulous, Ava will be in high school next year, while Kaylee will have her Driver’s License in as few as 17 more days! I for one can’t believe we all survived her driver’s training, which started in local parking lots and proceeded to hairpin turns, around tight corners, at the speed of light. Only A.J. Foyt could have pulled off some of the harrowing driving miracles that I witnessed at times this summer! But, we all survived, and with no dents in our vehicles! I joke (sort of); Kaylee is actually a very good driver and was even told that she best driver in her Driver’s Ed class. So you can feel safe when you see her drive by you in her 2007 BMW, which Drew gave to her as a Christmas present to her shrieking delight. This is now the 2nd time Drew has given a car to one of his sisters. I can only hope that he has another one to hand down to Ava in a few years. The good news for Ava is that Drew has said that his next car will be a Tesla.

Even more incredulous is that a once self-proclaimed liberal, who once carved a pumpkin in the likeness of then candidate Barack Obama is morphing into a conservative right before our very eyes. Yes, people are in a state of disbelief over these developments. While he does not yet host a show on Fox News, many have looked in disbelief at Mike as he shares his theories on the likes of capital punishment. Not to mention, the poor teachers of Dunlap who look to their email boxes in fear that they might receive another long diatribe from Mike on what is wrong with our educational system. Don’t worry, Mike still has a few liberal ideas and is still proud of President Obama. But, might we see a Trump carved pumpkin on Mike’s doorstep in 2020?

As a final point on incredulity, I bet you can’t believe how long this newsletter is as I can’t believe you are still reading it. Don’t worry, more good stuff is coming.

It was the season of light……for Nic and Kelsi who enjoyed an awesome honeymoon trip to Disney and the bright beaches of Ft. Lauderdale. Kelly and Ava also traveled to sunny Florida, with stops at Disney and the beaches of Tampa-St. Pete, while attending Ava’s Starquest World Dance Finals in Orlando. Ava and her dance teammates at MLSD continued to shine on the dance floor, while bringing home lots of trophies along the way. Ava and her DMS POMS teammates also brought home a trophy from the State Finals this year in the Jr. High Division. Ava is again on the DMS POMS team and also spending lots of time at the MLSD dance studio. We can’t wait to see her compete again in 2020, which will include her first ever solo performance. And, her latest dance project involves trying to teach her Dad how to dance in Tik Tok videos with her! These will surely go viral. Meanwhile, Ava is still Ava….always energetic, always wanting to do something, always wanting Starbucks, and always, always asking me for something or to do something. She is my constant season of light. In fact, I sometimes think of Ava as Carol Anne like from the Poltergeist movie. You see she has a life force that is hard to match and keeps me smiling, cursing, smiling, yelling smiling and speaking of yelling….. Kelly might occasionally yell at Ava (as she is this very minute!) and/or Kaylee for their continued inability and/or unwillingness to do seemingly simple things like throw a wrapper in the actual garbage can, maintain a room where you can actually see the floor, etc. Kelly is still Kelly, the straw that stirs our drink, the one who tries to keep us in check, and the one we, including our dogs can all rely on. Kelly continues to work with awesome kids, who happen to have a few special needs, at Dunlap Middle School. I likely have said this before, but, they, like us, are lucky to have her.

The season of light was also in full effect for Drew in 2019. Like most people do, he took a month vacation, this time in sunny South Africa, where he did things like go on a safari, dive into the ocean in a shark cage to see a Great White, see the great water falls of Victoria Falls, hang out in the desert of Namibia, and lounge on the beaches and climb the mountains of Cape Town. He also spent a month in Manhattan for work. Drew lives in the River North area of Chicago, where we all enjoy visiting him. Thanksgiving in Chicago was a highlight. In January, Drew has plans to visit Vietnam for a few weeks and make a stop at Boracay in the Philippines. Yes, it sucks to be Drew. He will also have extended work assignments in Boston and Washington, D.C., so stay tuned to his social media pages for amazing photographs and drone videos to document his journeys.

It was the season of darkness…….for both Mike and Kaylee, who unlike the rest of the family did not feel the sand under their toes of the warm sunshine upon their faces. The longest trip these two took in 2019 was to Rochester, Minnesota, in the midst of winter, to attend Kaylee’s Speedo Sectional Championship Meet. Despite the cold and snow, we both had fun. And in the hopes of coming out of the darkness, I admit to the world (and mostly Kelly) that I received a speeding ticket on the way home, while dodging potholes and trying to stay interested while driving the monotonous roadways of the northland. This has been a secret that only Kaylee and I have shared, with Kaylee often smiling and blurting out a whoo-whoo-police siren like sound anytime she felt it necessary to seek favor with me, while in the presence of my wife. So, Kelly, my beautiful, loving, forgiving wife, now you know and Kaylee, you have nothing to hold over my head any longer, at least for the time being.

It was the spring of hope…….for Kaylee and her commitment to the sport of swimming. She continues to love the sport, and work hard, and has renewed resolve to achieve her goals. She has a group of great friends on the team and is driven by Jersey Mike, her new coach, who yours truly worked hard to recruit to Peoria, along with the rest of it was the PAWW team. Kaylee made a tough decision to forgo her high school swim season in favor of making a greater training commitment. I was proud of her resolve in making this decision and remain proud of her in all aspects of what she does, and who she is, with the great exception of her sense of what a clean room is J.

It was the winter of despair…….as Kelly and Mike look around their house and dream of home improvements in 2020, while still wondering how we can pay for things like dance classes, swimming, and college. Kelly and Mike did close out the year by replacing our 20 year old kitchen appliances. Back to those kids who can’t seem to hit the broad side of a barn with a wrapper, let alone a waste basket, we purchased a fancy new waste can in a last ditch effort to solve the problem. The new stainless steel trash can is our new pride and joy and opens automatically at the wave of the hand. While enjoying all this new technology, our dryer just went out, so back to Sherman’s we go! Speaking of technology, Kelly and Mike finished the year with a fun night in Chicago where a true life robot delivered “forgotten toothbrushes” to our room. In addition to home improvements in the New Year, more resolutions for Mike include meditation, yoga, and drinking more wine (but only the good stuff). I think all three of these can likely be done at the same time.

Yes, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times….Like all families, we had some challenges to deal with, but those were far outweighed by many blessings. I am very lucky to have an awesome wife, four awesome kids and new son-in-law, our two awesome dogs Tahyo and Isla, along with our awesome family and friends. We have had a wonderful Christmas as a family and look forward to a great 2020! Thank you and Merry New Year to you all! May God bless you in new ways in the New Year!

P.S. – I consider this a living document in that I will likely be asked to edit for omissions, inaccuracies, offenses to my beloved family members, or over the likely fact that I wrote some of the same exact words last year.

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buriednurbckyrd · 7 years ago

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Lose Control P/3

Chapter 3

“You know I don't think you actually thanked me for all of this.” Natasha said while flicking through a rack of clothes. Y/N snorted.

“I'm the one that put myself out there, Nat. He could have laughed in my face.”

“Barnes would never laugh in your face. He's a great guy, and anyone that's spent any amount of time around the two of you can see how much he cares about you.” Natasha paused at a skirt, but dismissed it and continued looking. “And I'm still waiting!” Y/N sighed and chuckled.

“Thank you, Natasha. You're the best friend a girl could ever wish for.” She nudged Wanda with her elbow. “You too, weird-o.”

“I am not sure I did anything to help with you asking Bucky out on a date.” Wanda replied with a confused expression.

“Maybe not, but you're here helping me pick out a first date outfit!” Y/N picked up a blouse and held it against her chest. “I don't know why I'm making a big deal out of this. I've been on dates before.” She wrinkled her nose at the shirt and put it back. The truth was she was nearly paralyzed with nerves. There had never been anyone like Bucky, and something inside of her told her that there would never be anyone else.

“You're allowed to be excited,” Natasha told her with a soft smile. “I know people have… Let you down in the past, but don't let those memories keep you from being happy now.”

“I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest like some kind of cartoon. I've wanted this for so long it doesn't feel like it's real.” Wanda patted her arm reassuringly.

“His thoughts were very loud at breakfast this morning. I assure you, it is very real.” Y/N blushed bright red.

“Um, thanks.” She mumbled. Neither one of her friends missed the way she grinned and blushed. Natasha let out a whistle and held up a dress.

“I found the winner!”

“Oh, Natasha, it is so beautiful.” Wanda sighed and fingered the soft fabric. Y/N eyed it warily.

“I'm not sure Nat, it's a little...” She made a vague gesture.

“Just try it on, please? If you don't like it on we'll find something else.” She took a deep breath and took the dress into a changing room. Wanda and Natasha stood outside for several minutes waiting for her to emerge and model for them. Only silence came from the room.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Wanda tapped the door. When there was no response Natasha tried the handle.

“Come on, sweetie. It's fine if you don't like it.” The door opened and Y/N stepped out in the dress. Her eyes were full of tears. “Hey! You look fantastic! What's wrong?” Natasha cried in alarm. Y/N waved her off and shook her head.

“I'm sorry, there's nothing wrong. I just really love it.” She turned around in front of a mirror, looking at herself from several angles. “Wow. Okay. I know the tears are a bit much, but I just can't believe how good I feel in this.” Natasha threw an arm over her shoulders and grinned at their reflections.

“I saw the perfect pair of shoes in the front of the store.”

“I think I'll wear those earrings you got me for Christmas,” Y/N said. “I can't wait for tonight.”

…

Bucky was a nervous wreck. He had changed his clothes four times before dragging Steve into his room for advice. The blond had taken one look at torn up closet and started to laugh. It earned him a solid punch in the shoulder.

“It's not funny, punk!”

“It's a little funny, Buck. Seventy years ago you had more confidence than you knew what to do with, now you're shaking in your boots over a date.” Bucky scowled at him. “Alright, sorry. What's the problem?”

“I don't know what to wear.” He muttered. “If you laugh again I'll kick your ass.” Steve bit the inside of his cheek.

“I know the restaurant she picked, it isn't too fancy. And then it's just a movie, right? It's no big deal.” Bucky groaned in frustration.

“It is to me!” He scrubbed his human hand over his face. “Y/N went shopping with the girls, I overheard them making plans. She's gonna look amazing.” Too good for me, he thought to himself. I should count myself lucky that I got to kiss her once.

It wasn't about the clothes, but how could he tell Steve that? When she had told him that she had feelings for him, he had been so happy. Bucky was sure he started to fall for Y/N from the first moment they met, but never expected for her to return those feelings. True, she always seemed to like spending time together, but Y/N was nice to everyone. Then that night happened, that night she inhaled the drug and her body had pressed up against his. All of his instincts told him there was something wrong, and thank goodness he had listened instead of giving in to how good it felt to have her touch him. His heart had ached when he found out she was under the influence. Things may have worked out, but the guilt still lingered. Just because she had wanted him, she didn't consent to act on those desires. She felt guilty because she lost control, he felt guilty because a part of him had liked it.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, Buck. I just meant that you shouldn't get antsy about something like clothes.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I, uh, don't think I'm the best guy to ask about it though. Maybe we could ask T-”

“Finish that sentence and I'll make you eat your shoes.” Bucky had had enough of Tony Stark's mocking to last his incredibly long lifetime, there was no way in hell he would give him more ammunition. Steve sighed.

“Okay, then we wing it. I'm gonna say, less than a tux, but more than your regular duds.” Bucky let his breath out, feeling more at ease with his best friend helping him.

…

The relief didn't last long. Somehow the time for the date came quicker than he was prepared for. Bucky insisted that he 'pick her up' from her rooms to make it feel more like two people going out for a romantic dinner and less like two buddies grabbing a bite to eat. Cursing the anxiety churning in his stomach, for god's sake he was The Winter Solider, he rapped his knuckles against her door harder than he intended to. Y/N answered almost immediately.

“I'm so glad you're on time, I was in here completely freaking out.” She said with a breathy laugh. Bucky stared at her with wide eyes.

“Wow, you look really…Wow.” He said. She giggled and did a slow turn. The dress was a deep ruby red, hugging all of her soft curves in a way that had a lump forming in Bucky's throat. The neck line dipped in a V and the skirt ended at her knees, showing off more of her skin then he was used to seeing, except of course for that night she was drugged, and left him hoping to see more in the near future.

“Thanks, Bucky,” she replied shyly, reaching out and running her palm over his arm. “You look really handsome.” In the end, he had settled on all black. It was the dominant color of his wardrobe and what he was most comfortable in.

“I got nothin' on you, Doll.” He told her, and the resulting blush that stained her cheeks gave him a small boost of confidence. Maybe he hadn't lost all of his charm. “Should we get going?” He asked and offered his arm. Y/N grabbed a small clutch and shut her door before slipping her arm into his.

“I think you're going to like the restaurant. They have great food, but it's a small, family owned place. I thought you'd be more comfortable somewhere that wouldn't be super crowded.” They took the elevator down the ground floor and stepped out into the cool evening air. “It's not really far, and it's close to the theater, if you don't mind the walk?” She smiled up at him.

“I don't mind at all.” He replied.

Just as she said, it was a short walk, only a few blocks away. The restaurant was tucked in between a drug store and a florist. There were few people already inside, but not so many that Bucky was uneasy. He went to open the door for her before she stopped him.

“What-?” Y/N went up on her tip toes and gave him a gentle kiss. Bucky grinned. “What was that for?”

“I just wanted to. And you seemed like you were a little tense.” He cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her again.

“I feel much better now.”

During dinner, Bucky relaxed into their companionship. Y/N told him about her recent work in the lab with Dr. Banner, glossing over the more awkward details, like few side effects she could remember. He loved listening to her, even if he didn't quite understand everything she was talking about.

“I'm sorry, I just keep going on about work.” Y/N laughed and pushed her plate aside. “I haven't gone on a date in so long, I guess I forgot how to not talk shop.”

“I like hearing about your work. A lot of it's over my head, but I don't mind.” A waitress appeared at his elbow to clear away their plates.

“Any coffee or dessert tonight, folks?” She asked. Bucky looked at Y/N.

“I couldn't even finish my entree.” She said with a shrug. “But you go ahead, Buck.” He shook his head.

“No thank you, just the check.”

There was a little disagreement over who would pay; Y/N insisting that she had asked him out, Bucky torn between his 1940s manners and not wanting to offend her independence. He compromised and left a generous tip.

On the short walk to the theater, Y/N told him a little bit about the movie. He took her hand, loving the way their fingers laced together. When they got to the theater, handed over their tickets, and found seats, his arm went around her shoulders and she leaned against him like they had done it a thousand times. During the film, she shocked him by reaching over and taking his metal hand into hers, stroking her thumb over his knuckles. A warmth spread through his chest, watching her touch what he considered a deadly weapon in such a tender way. Bucky was never comfortable with his arm, always aware of where it came from and what he had used it to do. The fact that Y/N didn't shy away from it, treated it like it was just a normal part of his body was his own personal miracle.

After the movie they filed out of the theater slowly behind the rest of the crowd. She talked about all her favorite parts, filled with happiness that Bucky seemed to really enjoy it. Out on the street she did a little twirl with a laugh.

“When I was little I wanted to learn how to tap dance like Debbie Reynolds so badly, but my family just didn't have the money for lessons.” Bucky took her hand and pulled her into his arms, swaying gently.

“I'd love to dance with you sometime.” She smiled.

“Not many places to do that kind of dancing these days. People tend to grind on each other in clubs instead.”

“Maybe we can just dance on our own.” He said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Y/N… I have to tell you something.” She looked up at him, her brow furrowed in apprehension.

“What is it, Bucky?”

“You know how you told me that you were pretty sure you were in love with me?” Y/N bit her lip and nodded. “I-I… I'm pretty sure I love you too.” She slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Her tongue ran over this bottom lip, the feeling sending a jolt down his spine. His hands slid down her back, hers up his chest. They both seemed to remember that they were still standing out on a New York City street at the same and pulled apart. Bucky rested his forehead against hers, willing his heart to slow down.

“Take me home, Bucky.” She murmured. He took a step back, afraid he had crossed a line. She laughed softly and fingered the buttons of his shirt. “I'm not ready to say goodnight just yet.” Her eyes held a number of tempting promises. Hoping to make the trip back to the tower shorter, Bucky stepped up to the curb and lifted a hand to hail a cab, his other was holding fast to Y/N.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #plus-sized reader

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spacegaysinc-blog · 7 years ago

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Space Christmas™

look we know its july we just have a lot of feelings ok

ok so everyone’s always talking about how much Lance misses his big family and whatnot, but how would that carry across to a holiday like Christmas?

like, forget about missing just his siblings and parents what about the massive extended family? also (we’re not trying to shove beliefs onto a character or upset anyone in general please don’t yell at me) A LOT of people are religious and quite a few more practice exclusively on holidays like Christmas or Easter.

plus, even if Lance wasn’t strictly religious there’s something about being raised in a family that is that ingrains bits and pieces of those things into you just as a byproduct of being raised that way.

either way you can’t tell me that Lance’s family didn’t celebrate Christmas and since he has younger siblings it would still be a big deal since they would still believe in Santa.

so it gets to the point that Lance is spending the nighttimes heartbroken thinking about the presents he had planned for his little siblings that he won’t be able to give them this year because he’s an amazing sibling like that, or wishing for just one day, THIS day, that he could be back with his family, because anyone who has gone from spending Christmas with a big family to spending it almost alone know that it’s one of the loneliest feelings on the world.

Pidge’s family is kind of a mixed situation

like her dad’s jewish so they just decided as a family to celebrate both Christmas and Hannukah

the holidays weren’t really at the front of Pidge’s mind when the ‘winter months’ rolled around

because FIRST OF ALL it looked NOTHING like winter normally did (bc space),

and anyway for the past couple years she and her mother had grown apart and holidays were hardly the first thing anyone would think of when a family falls apart like that,

but she’s the one that notices Lance disappearing more and stumbles upon him crying twice as many times as she normally would, so she figures something’s up.

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they have reached what would be on Earth the month of December and to link that a little further to Christmas.

now Pidge understands a lot, but humans have never been her strongest suit so she does what any reasonable person would do and goes to Hunk and lets him take the wheel on what to do. Pidge does what she can to help (she’s probs the one that makes the cool decorations)

she misses her small, intimate family Christmases and it was trying to get that family back that brought her here in the first place, but along the way the team has kinda become her family too so why not embrace that for a little while?

Pidge makes a metal tree and everyone helps to decorate it

Lance goes nuts

people’s thing’s just start going missing and they end up on the tree

everyone knows it's Lance and it’s mildly inconvenient but they can’t bring themselves to say anything bc he just looks so happy

they start voluntarily putting their things on the tree

Keith puts fingerless gloves on it. Lance almost cries laughing

Shiro puts his fucking arm at the top of the tree bc he thinks he’s funny

“Shiro, no you need that what the hell”

“I just wanted to lend a hand, Keith”

Pidge teaches them all about Hanukkah too, and the Alteans love the dreidel

Coran is really hung up on the menorah thing

“But if there was only enough for 1 day, how did it last 8?”

“I don’t know, that’s why they call it a miracle”

“Fascinating”

Keith doesn’t really get this Christmas thing.

like obviously he knows what Christmas is, he’s from Texas of course he does, but he’s not quite sure how to celebrate this.

after Pidge tells Hunk about Lance’s odd behavior Hunk arranges a paladin (and confused Altean) meeting where everyone decides to try this “Christmas in Space” thing out, but Keith is kinda left stranded on what to do.

he wants to help, in the way that you can’t help when you’re maybe, hopelessly in love with someone and would do anything to make them happier, it’s just, holidays were never a part of his childhood and what if he does it wrong?

one thing Keith’s sure is part of this is gift-giving so one day during a battle he picks up a Galra shooter and tosses it to an unarmed Lance with an offhanded “Merry Christmas.”

AND LANCE JUST LIKE FREEZES FOR A SECOND AND THEN JUST GIVES KEITH THE BIGGEST SMILE AND KEITH IS LIKE BLINDED

so he just keeps giving Lance things?

like he sees a cool rock while on a mission and just puts it in his pocket

a couple of days later he stumbles upon a gorgeous blue gem-type thing on some planet and does the same thing bc it reminds him of Lance’s eyes.

and he’ll just like slide the gift over to Lance in the middle of meals or just leave it in front of his door

and Lance always just grins like an idiot bc Keith is being nice to him and he just feels lighter

soon all of the paladins start incorporating casual Christmas gift-giving into their daily lives and as Lance’s mood starts to brighten more day by day Keith can’t help but be a lil proud that he could be the start of someone’s happiness

and everyone starts giving each other gifts and Keith is just really proud bc he started this and he just loves these guys so much and is this what a family is like bc he gets it now

one day Keith’s in Lance’s room (who knows why lmao) and he just sees all of the stuff he’s given Lance placed a little bit away from the other’s gifts and he just smiles a lil to himself

(sorry we’re klance trash)

Hunk’s a good best friend.

he’s also a bit of a people-watcher so when Pidge comes to him with her research* (*stalking) on Lance and the current month on Earth his own thoughts on the matter are confirmed and he jumps straight to planning Space Christmas™.

a secret meeting is arranged promptly to inform the other paladins/alteans of what’s going on (a long explanation of earth customs is required)

then he and coran get ingredients for the Altean equivalent of cookies and just go to work

Pidge and Lance bend cookie cutters out of scrap metal and use those and Keith just cuts out shapes with his knife bc of course he would

cuz if they’re doing Christmas, then they’re doing it right. Hunk’s typical holidays involve so much food, especially as gifts

large family dinners become a mandatory thing, every time getting more elaborate and delicious.

Hunk always makes people share about their day because it’s what his family always did

“So Pidge, how was your day?”

“Hunk, I was with you all day, we had the same day.”

“But how was it?”

when Christmas would roll around Hunk’s younger siblings presented him with small and, to the outsider's eye, meaningless gifts so when he starts getting handed shiny rocks, or little people made of twigs, or one time a small robot that did nothing but blast screamo he can’t help but be reminded of his family too

Shiro had quite honestly forgotten that holidays were such a big deal.

in his defense a lot had happened and they just had slipped his mind.

he’s not opposed to the idea when Hunk brings it up, but a week later he’s fully invested in the holidays and has crocheted several sweaters, because he looks fantastic in red, ok.

growing up with a single parent and a much younger sibling has hardwired into his brain the need to make every holiday as big of a deal as possible and he starts spending late nights decorating various parts of the castle to make this the most magical experience possible because now he had 4 little sibling to share this with and also he needs to and it gives him peace of mind when his nightmares are too intense to sleep through.

every opportunity he gets he spends squirrelling away presents for the 25th or furiously crocheting sweaters for everyone else because what’s Christmas without the ugliest sweaters you’ve ever seen?

ok quick side note but we promise this is relevant: so we all know about the headcanon that Lance knits but consider this: Shiro crochets

and Lance like will not stop giving him shit about ‘wow only one needle? I have two so…’

and Shiro’s a good sport so he just kind of plays along bc wow Lance has started another dumb rivalry who would have guessed

but then Shiro crochets him this blue hat with lion ears on it and Lance can’t really bring himself to keep the the ‘rivalry’ going

(he wears the hat everywhere)

Shiro and Lance team up to make the team stockings and Shiro even makes tiny ones for the mice

the Alteans don’t know what’s going on

like obviously they notice that there’s something off about the paladins, so when Hunk calls his meeting about Lance, they’re kind of like ???? bc they noticed these things with everyone but if they want to pretend that it’s just about Lance then okay

learning about Christmas is….. interesting to say the least

“So you’re telling me that the people of earth tell their children about a reverse thief dressed in red that breaks into everyone’s home?”

“I mean I wouldn’t say it like that”

“Well then how WOULD you say it”

“He just visits everyone to give them gifts-”

“I’ll prepare the castle’s defenses for an intruder immediately!”

“No that’s really not necessary”

They get it eventually.

Allura’s really into the ‘Santa’s reindeer’ thing (something about them reminding her of an altean animal) so she works with pidge to make little reindeer antlers for the mice and also ENORMOUS ONES for the lions

((Keith is FURIOUS (and a little confused) when he sees the large red ball attached to red’s nose but Lance is just laughing and smiling so he guesses it's okay))

@ dreamworks just give us the space fam doing space things for the holidays. just a christmas episode that’s all we’re asking for

Also we hope y’all love long posts cuz this bitch took forever and we’re very proud and feel free to add your own and make it EVEN LONGER

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goldstarrsandbigsmiles · 6 years ago

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365 to the 3-5

This past year has been nothing short of amazing, namely watching a chunky blob of cuteness become a non-stop, hearty rock of handsomeness…and no, I’m not talking about Jeff’s dad bod. Net-net, I’m amazed at what I’ve learned in 35 years on this precious planet and love taking this time every year to reflect on my greatest hits. So as we say to Max when getting him out of the bath: ready, steady…SPAGHETTI! 1. Pretty sure one of the most terrifying things as a mom is the undeniable fear of getting back into the workforce after months of maternity leave. The insecurities/self-doubt I thought I squashed years ago once again reared its ugly head, and the thought of rebuilding all over again sounded even worse running while on five hours’ sleep. But where there’s a will, there’s a way – and the countless list of colleagues who believed in me and cheered Mama Jess back on the horse will never be forgotten. 2. My four years in Houston have made me quite fond of this special little city, but nothing felt quite as magical as watching our town literally rise up from the waters, come together...and watch our ‘Stros bring home a World Championship. Harvey was awful, but it brought out the best of so much and so many. 3. We finally pulled of a “two weddings in one weekend” stint – and with two of the most deserving brides I have the pleasure of knowing, no less. This brings Jeffica’s wedding count to 39…just waiting on that special 40th to put us “over the hill.” 4. 80% of the reason you have kids is to create Halloween costumes that are mainly for your entertainment…right? So not everyone dresses their kids up as human cheese wedges, dubbing them “Maxaroni and Cheese?” No? Okay cool cool cool, good talk. 5. I used to think extracurricular classes for kids were some whack way for parents to compete against one another. ERRONEOUS. It’s a way for someone else to help you entertain and educate your child because that shit is EXHAUSTING. They're super cool, super helpful…and I was super wrong for ever thinking otherwise. 6. I legit wasn’t sure if Max had teeth inside of those gums after a full year of sprouting NADA. Luckily he’s well on his way (with six more popping thru as I type!), but it was a bit touch-and-go for a while. 7. I can see my parents becoming better, happier versions of themselves these days. It not only inspires me but also makes me truly believe all things happen for a reason…no matter the things. 8. Seeing my brother play with my son will never, ever get old. 9. It’s remarkably easy to forget how freaking cold winters are in the northeast…until you go back for Christmas and freeze off your croutons on a Saturday night. That cold, piercing wind. OY. Do NOT miss. 10. Watching a kid learn how to get on all fours, crawl and eventually walk feels like it takes forever but is such a cool process to observe. Now…if only he’d stay put. 11. It looks like Toys-R-Us threw up in our living room, and the Virgo in me has completely surrendered to this reality. 12. Moms: If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You’re probably right. Be it a weird feeling about daycare or a cough that’s worse than normal – you know that kiddo best. 13. I miss having the energy to watch television post-bedtime. 14. But don’t get it twisted – even if it takes me 8 sit down sessions, I will continue to keep up with my Housewives. 15. Whenever I see Max and his big, strong physique, I’d like to think the full year of being hooked up to a breast pump contributed to his off-the-charts stats and good health. But I also think about how much it freaking suuuucked…so I briefly pat myself on the back and immediately return to blacking it all out. 16. Hosting our child’s first birthday at a bar and making it totally about us was a FANTASTIC decision. 17. I was worried Max’s hair wasn’t going to curl again after his first haircut: I was wrong, thank GOODNESS. When it’s long, it looks like a birthday bow is sitting on his precious little head, and I LIVE FOR IT. 18. As happy as I am to watch everyone grow up, I’m running out of cousin bar/bat mitzvahs and am kind of bitter about it. 19. Life hack: If you have food poisoning but need to jump on what will eventually become your first home purchase — bring a barf bag, (literally) suck it up, take that house tour and hope for the best. Houston real estate be cutthroat, y’all. 20. Most people that hear we bought a house are like “wow congrats that’s awesome,” but those who have visited from the east coast are more like “wow okay soooo you’re saying we can’t use your apartment complex pool when we come down?” Sorry, friends. I’m just as sad. 21. Pretty sure Houston weather will find a way to ruin any holiday weekend. Memorial, July 4th, Labor…name your celebration, and a freaking flash flood will follow. 22. Nothing made me more confident in our home buying decision more than when we told our neighborhood friends and they let out a collective sigh of relief. SO sweet they were being supportive on the surface, but even sweeter when they confessed they were only being supportive on the surface. 23. Dave Matthews Band has STILL. GOT. IT. 24. Moving to Texas was one of the balliest, scariest things I’ve ever done, but the gift of my business has been one of the most rewarding outcomes EVER. It’s so cool to genuinely say I love what I do. 25. Really love how our kid went through a clingy phase when we had seven willing babysitters during the week we spent at the Outer Banks. Cute. 26. I did NOT watch enough HGTV to prepare for the endless decisions necessary to renovate a home. I know more about grout and appliance ratings/reviews than I ever thought imaginable. 27. Traveling the world with my mom was always a dream of mine, and bringing it to life was one of the coolest experiences ever. 28. Italy is a breathtaking country, filled with fresh food, amazing history and remarkable scenery – and sharing it with some of my favorite, friendly east coast faces made it all the more special. 29. I have tried to Julia Childs my way from here to next Sunday, but it never fails: my son will reject any and all of my culinary efforts to hide vegetables in delicious, homemade meals. The self-restraint I have exercised while I watch him reject said made-with-love meals deserves a medal of valor. 30. I will NEVER, EVER be able to thank my mother-in-law enough for everything she is doing to help make our first house a home. She truly is a carpenter that makes miracles. Here’s hoping for her next trick she can turn water into wine. 31. If you injure your groin post-partem, buy an inflatable donut from CVS and blow that bad boy up wherever you need. Do what you gotta…and YOU DO YOU, GURL. 32. Making time for girls’ trips as a mom can be tough, well, as a mother. Tough…but so, so, so worth it. 33. Normally there’s one or two crazy things going on in my life, but lately, it’s literally been every. Single. Thing. And there’s no one in the world I would rather be conquering them all with besides Jeff. 34. Having a birthday on Yom Kippur is a pretty big downer…except when it revolves around a work trip and gives you a chance to spend more time with your family. 35. This upcoming year is going to be a giant slice of crazyberry pie, and I am so, so excited for what’s to come. Here’s to happiness, health and let’s be real – making time for Housewives.

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