#IS tim allen A BEING THAT CAN ONLY BE TALKED ABOUT IN HUSH-HUSH TONE

[janus-cadet]

OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SHAGGY DOG (2006) STARRING ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AND tim allen FEATURING ACCLAIMED ACTOR DOWNEY JR. IN HIS MOST SUCCESSFUL ROLE AS DR. MARCUS KOZAK, ANIMAL EXPERIMENTOR AND 1/4 ENGLISH SHEEPDOG, AS WITNESSED IN THE CLIMAX OF THE AWARD WINNING FAMILY FILM WHERE DR. KOZAK IS DECEIVED BY tim allen INTO SHOWING HIS TRUE FORM AS A DOGBOY IN A COURT CASE AGAINST HIM FOR ILLEGAL ANIMAL EXPERIMENTATION NOW

ANON THAT IS THE MOST RANDOM THING I EVER RECEIVED AND WE CAN DEFINITELY TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE

IT IS REAL??? WHAT IS THAT??? IT HAS HUMAN EYES IT'S STARING INTO MY SOUL I'M KINDA TERRIFIED. WHAT DO YOU MEAN DR KOZAK IS A DOG BOY, IS THAT HIM, IS ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR THAT CREEPY BLUE EYE DOG

IS THAT HIM HOLDING THE LEASH, I NEED MORE CONTEXT, DISNEY WHAT DID YOU D O THIS TIME

[iwritethat]

Fantasy AU

Tim Drake: Dungeons & Outlaws

A/N: So Dick and Damian are left, wonder what to do for them.

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Anyone would have said wandering through your own castle under disguise was unnecessary, doing so and avoiding the royal guard was even more incredulous. Yet here you were, edging past cells, hungry prisoners and the wardens as you disobeyed orders. No matter what you could not allow righteous inmates to starve when they had yet to be proven guilty, punished for something they'd possibly never committed based on the accusations of the rich. You hated the way the kingdom divided wealth and as a result you did as much in your power to aid the people either overtly or covertly.

.

During your escapade, a sudden hold caused you to withold a scream in fear of being discovered, that and the hand clamped over your mouth with a knife to your throat.

"Quiet and I won't have to hurt you." Despite his warning, you continued your struggle as you couldn't risk exposure either, but the fact intruders were lurking in the dungeon concerned you more.

"Stop struggling or - wow..." As he pulled you back toward him, your fallen cloak revealed your familiar features, more beautiful than the last time he'd laid eyes on you.

"My lady..." His voice was breathless, fingers moving to remove his own disguise allowing to face your apparent captor.

"Timothy?!" Despite the surprise in your voice, he managed a brief admiring smile, relishing in the missed company.

Tim Drake, rebel of his family so much so you were sure he'd become Tim Drake-Wayne now, a notorious outlaw of the kingdom with good intentions. A living tale of Robin Hood if you will, you'd spent your childhood together but your paths drifted only to cross again many years later here of all places. However, with the commotion of the guards rebounding on the damp brick your reunion was unfortunately disturbed, clusters of shadows loomed as the flaming torches advanced leaving you with few options. You figured you could buy Tim more time, whatever he was doing here must be for a righteous cause and losing the peoples champion simply wasn't considered. Tim had other ideas however, grasping your wrist then pinning you in the darkest alcove to aid concealment. There were pros and cons to this predicament, the latter being that the veil of shadow heightened your senses so you could hear his whispers of silence, feel his warm breath fanning against the shell your ear as he spoke and the racing of his heart under your palm but regardless of this he remained calm. Pros to being hopelessly besotted in a compromising position included the dark concealing longing glances and flushed features to lessen embarrassment.

"(Y/n)... (Y/n)..." Hushed calls raised an octave as they passed, Tim giving you a curious but amused expression as you shook yourself from your previous flourishing thoughts.

"Mm, right. Distracted."

"I couldn't tell, my friend was captured on our last mission and I’m here to rescue him. I know you aren’t like most nobles so I trust you to help." He retained his sarcasm, but the soft laugh he gave encouraged you to follow him until you reached a particular cell and the prisoner was more than pleased to see his comrade.

"Knew you'd come Robin Hood, I'd have been faster though." The brunette happily bragged, Tim shook his head with smile before lock-picking the cage.

"Don't call me that, Red Robin is fine Bart."

With his freedom given, it was then that the quick witted stranger noted your presence.

"Bartholomew Allen at your service lady." The brunette cheerfully introduced, quickly placing a kiss to your knuckles.

"My lady." Robin amended from beside you, underlying scolding present. Upon hearing him Bart instantly dropped your hand and held up his own in surrender as he released a sheepish laugh.

"Oh I didn't realise, sorry bro."

"No-no, that's how you say it respectfully - (Y/n) isn't mine." Tim on the other hand flushed a deep crimson, correcting Bart once more with a hint of nervousness as he studied you for a reaction only finding an embarrassed smile.

The moment was interrupted as guards shouts echoed down the hallway fuelling your adrenaline once again.

"You can escape from my room, they'll have all of the dungeon exits blocked by now trust me, I know. Follow me." You hurriedly rushed pulling the two outlaws along with you before they could argue against getting you involved with them but a friend of Tims must be worth it. You were alert of all surroundings as you silently danced through the maze of your castle avoiding guards as you went and hiding in the shadows of torches with the two tracing your movements as you slipped into your private grand chambers with a flood of relief.

"Ok they'll check on me after discovering an empty cell. They don't care if you guys were trying to help people, we've got to get you out of here!" Came your knowledgable voice, pulling Tim's hand and guiding him to your wardrobe offering rope and a grapple (you had your own means of escaping home).

.

Rushed knocking echoed throughout your chambers silencing the three of you whilst making preparations, you awaited some form of giveaway as to who it was before announcing your presence.

"My love, are you alright?! There's intruders in the dungeon, we're tracking them down but I needed to check on your safety first!" You could hear the confidence in the Princes voice, the mere sound enough to make you wince.

“Please give me a moment Sir!” Tim shot to you instantly, look of confusion and hurt briefly crossing eyes as he silently questioned you with his exasperated hand gestures.

"It's an arranged marriage, besides it's not like you don't have your fair share of lovers outlaw!" You whisper yelled, Bart attempting to hide his chuckle from the window ledge where Tim was giving you an incredulous glance.

"Do you love him?" The knocking persisted, Bart taking the initiative to slide down to the ground below as Tim continued this untimely conversation.

"What him? The handsome, charming Prince? No of course not! It's always been... nevermind go!" Your hand went to Tim's shoulder, urging him to follow his comrade against his stubborn nature. His hand wrapped around your wrist bringing your attention back to him and the close proximity caused you to falter for a second.

"(Y/n), who has it always been?" His tone was more serious, despite the worried voice of the Prince his hushed one was much more appealing to your senses.

"If I don't answer he's-"

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me, whether I get caught or not because it's you."

At that moment your only thought was getting him out, but saying what you felt wasn't as easy as it sounded. Actions speak louder than words right?

Your fingers grasped his scarlet scarf to bring his lips to yours softly, gently, as if savouring the moment but it wasn't the gentleness he wanted, not after all this time so he pulls you against him harder, deepening the kiss with a fervent need you'd only ever read about. As much as you'd have liked the moment to continue you lowered your head simultaneously ending the embrace despite burning desire, you felt Tim smile against your skin before placing a soft kiss to your temple.

"For me, it's always been you." His voice was nothing more than a meaningful whisper that brought him back into your focus, his gaze avoiding your own.

"Tim Drake-Wayne..."

"...?"

"That's the answer to your question before." Your tone was smug yet kind, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he gripped the rope and held out his other to you from his position in the window ledge.

.

"Then are you coming with me my lady?"