#INY Chapter One Hundred Twenty One

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 121

If you were still incredibly naive, you would have remarked how surprising, how fantastic it was, when the powers that be decided to get together for the greater good. Only two days after what the papers were labeling as The Bombing of Hell’s Kitchen, a benefit was put together and invites were sent out. Strangely enough, it wasn’t just you and Tony who were invited- which would have been considered normal, in your world. No, instead an envelope addressed to The Avengers had showed up, with tickets to the charity art auction for every single member of your team. 

You were lucky Pepper had gotten the mail that day and had brought it up to you. The script and envelope complete with wax seal were a little too refined to just  be fan mail from a child. The fact that there was also no return address made it seem a little nefarious. But, with the tickets and invite in hand, you had a choice to make. ...hide it from the team? Make the decision for them that nobody was going? 

Didn’t seem like the right thing to do. Especially not when your senses for something being up were all but screaming. Four Russian mafia warehouses had all been bombed within minutes of each other in a coordinated attack. No one had claimed that attack yet. It was true, if it was a gang war type thing, it wasn’t like a different organization would come forward and tell the cops or the papers they’d been behind it. No need. If it was a turf battle or one gang pissing off another, the Russians would know exactly who it was already. 

The media was touting this as something terrible- and maybe it was. There had been collateral damage, of course. People had been hurt. And now someone was throwing a benefit over it. Something to revamp Hell’s Kitchen. And all of this happening just after WHiH had released a report on crime statistics in the entire city being lower than ever- all thanks to the same Avengers who had not shown up that night of the bombing. And who had been invited to the gala in Hell’s Kitchen’s stead.

What to do, what to do. What a mess. 

The whole thing left you overthinking. Driving yourself up a wall. Maybe that was exactly what this mysterious person or people behind this whole thing wanted. Or… maybe, as Pepper had quietly trying to get across… maybe not everything was about you. And, maybe, as half of your team had been trying to say… maybe the Avengers didn’t always need to be involved in every little thing that happened. 

Surely the latter was true. But… your entire team was in New York City right now. And you’d sat this one out. 

It wasn’t like nobody had reported on the absence. Of course WHiH was all over it, thanks to Christine Everhart. Did the news outlet also know your team had been invited to come show their faces and donate to the cause? Hard to say. If they did, they’d wait it out. See if any of you showed up. And if an unagreeable number happened to do so, they’d surely make noise about it. But should they go? 

You and Tony… perhaps that was all that was really necessary. As usual, in affairs like this. The two of you were far more used to being the face of things. And sometimes that hurt you more than helped. ...more often than not, it felt like, recently. If news reports came out, they’d have your faces on it, your names. Your blame. Especially now that Stark Industries- or, rather, you and Tony, were the sole benefactors to the team. Their follies were really just your follies in light of all that. Something you’d been warned about by Fury, and had taken in stride.

Because what the hell else could you do? 

A broke version of the Avengers just wouldn’t work. Someone had to bankroll them. Someone had to take care of them. So it was up to the two of you. 

Someone also had to continue to look out for them, and keep them out of trouble if they could. And that was why… 

That was why late that night, when Tony was nowhere to be found in the penthouse, you went back to the labs. It was so late that everyone else was gone. Bruce included. You found him in his private room, bracing himself over one of the lab tables, hunched over in bitter defeat. Keying yourself in was a loud affair, he no doubt knew you were approaching. 

Still, he made a soft noise of shock when your hand laid between his shoulder blades. He had dark circles under his eyes. And a cloud above his head. “Everything okay?” Asked as gently as you could, knowing, obviously, it wasn’t. 

“Just spinning my wheels out here. Have been for a while.” He sounded as tired as he looked. 

He was just so spent, not making progress on this Ultron project… it made you rethink asking him about this. Asking him to accompany you. This was something you could handle on your own, right? “Why don’t you put it down for now and come to bed.”

Even his grin held a shade of grey. “That doesn’t sound like a request.” 

You gave him a pat on the back. “Smart man.” 

“Doesn’t feel like it tonight.” Sighing out a noise of annoyance, brows squinching before he reached up to rub at his own temples. 

Very suddenly terribly raw. Being honest with you. Persona of that overconfident, over-egotistical, undoubting genius gone. And instead, in its place… just a man. A man who was losing time on a project that had no date to meet. ...only to him. For reasons that still haunted him. All of this you could feel, as real as the muscles tensing in tight knots beneath your palm. 

He turned as your hand slid up, touching at the line of his jaw, palming his cheek for a moment, and then reached further up to take his glasses carefully off the bridge of his nose. After setting them down on the table, you returned that loving caress at the side of his neck, an action that seemed to ease him. But more so was the smile you aimed his way. “Come on. Let’s go take a walk.” 

“It’s one in the morning and freezing outside.” Despite his weak attempts at protesting, he was smiling a little more real then. 

“You’ll keep me warm, and I happen to know Burger King is still open.” Luckily for him, a man that rarely slept living in the city that never did. 

He admired you for a moment, reaching up to settle his hands at your shoulders. “I love you.” A statement of fact as much as it was how he was feeling just then. 

“I love you more. On the way you can tell me about what’s got you stuck.” 

“Oh yeah?” Slipping his right arm around your shoulder as the two of you headed out. 

“Call me your little rubber ducky.” You probably wouldn’t understand a lot of what came out of his mouth about it, but… sometimes it just helped to talk. Even if your subject couldn’t keep up. 

“If that’s what you’re into. I think I can get behind it.”

                                                   --- 

While, just as you’d suspected, listening to him ramble his list of heated frustrations didn’t really resonate with you, it did seem to be helping him let off a little steam. When you thought you had something not absolutely stupid to add- where you thought you understood something or perhaps were seeing it a different way- you tried to interject. And, rewarded, more than once he took his phone out to scribble some notes down. You may not have been as smart as him but… if you could help in any way, even something small and stupid, that was really the most wonderful feeling. 

It was halfway through his large box of fries, while you were still sipping on a soda in the completely empty (by design, of course) Burger King that that cloud seemed to lift off him. And with it gone, he finally had the clarity to ask, “So. What’s on your mind?” 

You felt a little flush of guilt. “Nothing as serious as world-saving tech.” 

“I’m not so sure about that.” Shifting, he reached to lay one of his hands atop yours. “C’mon. You let me ramble. Your turn now.” 

“Well…” Breathing this out on a hum of a sigh. “We got invited to a charity benefit.” 

“And water is wet.” 

“It has to do with the bombing the other night.” 

At this he paused for a moment, considering it. “That was fast. You sure you didn’t put it together?” A small smile. 

“Pretty sure. Also… it wasn’t just us that got invited.” When he raised a brow in silent question, you continued. “The whole team got an invite.” 

“Hmn. Potentially messy.” 

“Not that I don’t love them but… that was my thought, too.” And you hoped your level of guilt over it was at least respectable. “I think we should go. For a lot of reasons.” 

He stopped you, “I’m sure you could go on all night, but I trust you.” Implicitly, as always. Something that warmed you. “-by the way, not that I actually want to go. But. I will. For you.” Wearing one of those charming grins then. 

“Well thanks.” Trying not to be lured in so easily. ...or at least trying to pretend not to be. “My problem is, if we’re going and we don’t think them going is a good idea, I don’t know how to go about it. I think not telling them could lead to trouble.” 

“Lie of omission. Good stuff. Almost never comes back to bite you in the ass. Believe me. I would know.” Speaking from some very personal experience. Some that related heavily to you.

Easy to joke about now. How funny life was. 

“Yeah- well-... if I tell them but then tell them I don’t want them to go I feel like it might… hurt their feelings? I don’t know.” It would at the very least open a huge can of worms. That was definitely for sure. 

He eased a breath out, eyes going out in thought. “Well- chances are Nat and Barton won’t want anything to do with it anyway. They don’t really like being in public that often- and Banner is busy. And starting to shy away from the limelight again, too. Thor is easy enough to persuade not to want to go to something that boring. It’s really just-” 

“Steve. I know.” Feeling bad. Terrible, really. “I don’t want him to think I don’t want him around, because that’s not the case. But-” 

“You don’t. -for this, anyway. So what?” He gave a short shrug. “I’m sure there’s stuff he doesn’t want you around for. He’s a big boy. He can handle it.” 

You couldn’t help your glowering. “Even so… it’s not really that nice to be told someone doesn’t want you around.” 

Tony thought about this for a minute and then gave your hand a squeeze. “Just- frame it… tactfully. There’s a battle plan here. He’ll respect it. And your honesty.” 

Your eyes lowered. “I just wish not everything had to be a battle plan.” 

“...yeah. Me, too.” 

                                                  ---

While it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, and definitely not fun in any way, coming clean to the team about the invite and then subsequently telling some of them you didn’t need them to go… it felt pretty shitty. Tony happened to be right. Nat and Clint excused themselves almost immediately. Bruce seemed to pretend about thinking on whether or not he wanted to go and then so sadly said he couldn’t make it. Thor was an easy sell. Boring people at a boring art gallery. Not what he wanted to do just then, especially considering Jane had asked him away somewhere. 

But Steve. 

It killed you that it hurt him so much to be excluded from this. He seemed almost disinterested at first, hearing it was just a charity thing- but still willing to go, of course. It was when you explained the sketchiness of it all and that you and Tony wanted to scope it out- seeing as you would know the people at a gathering like that, and could tell who was out of place- that you had a plan- 

...it burned you, that he felt unnecessary. So you did the next best thing you could. Promised him something more. “If this turns out to be what I think, we’re in it all the way together, okay?” 

He tried on a smile for you, but it just wasn’t real. “Yeah. Understood. Don’t worry about it. I’ll wait to hear back from you.” 

With everything settled after that, and the gala coming up on Monday of all days, there wasn’t really a lot of time to prepare. You picked a simple black gown for you and a simple black suit and tie for Tony (something he complimented with one of those fancy pairs of colored specs). This wasn’t a huge event- something you realized when the two of you pulled up and Happy escorted you both out. There was a fair amount of media standing around begging for pictures and soundbites but something seemed… off. 

The feeling only worsened as the two of you stepped into the venue, arm in arm. The air was cold. And… anxious. Everyone was holding themselves stiffly while trying to pretend otherwise. Smiling in that weirdly fake Stepford Housewives way- and generally they always did that, because the rich liked to pretended they cared just to look good. But this was different in an unnerving way. And as you and Tony came in, a small break happened, it seemed like people relaxed but only a little bit. 

As the two of you made your way down one of the halls after giving your coats to check, looking at art hung on the walls, you clutched to him a little tighter. “Something’s up.” Murmuring as quietly as possible. Impossible to hear, you were sure, underneath the group speak in the wings. 

“I thought we knew that already.” Speaking back just as quietly as the two of you stopped to pretend to look at a gigantic surrealist painting. 

“Worse. Everyone here is freaked out for some reason.” Which really never signaled anything good. If these people were that aware of their surroundings enough to be spooked by something, that something was probably pretty terrible. 

“Well…” He took a deep breath. “They’re here because four buildings in this area were bombed. Maybe they’re scared there’s a target here. There’s a lot of extra security, too.” Probably for the same reason, he meant. 

And they had felt better when two Avengers had shown up. Maybe Tony was right and there was a logical explanation for all of this. Maybe you were just overreacting. “There’s not a target here, right?” 

“Hard to tell. I have JARVIS monitoring the area. Building came back clean before we entered. If something comes up, we’ll be the first ones to know.” Tony had had a game plan and had made sure things were safe before even coming in. He trusted you, and you trusted him. For reasons like this. He always had your safety in mind- and that of the general public where he could- and… while still not making progress on his own project probably found something as simple as this easy to sink into. 

You rested your head against his arm with a little extra squeeze. “Thank you.” Not the least of which for taking care of all of that. “In that case…” 

He eased as you let go of him and served you one of those handsome smiles. “Glass of wine?” 

“You know me so well.” Leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’d like to think so.” Returning the gesture with a little bit of a fuller kiss instead. “Don’t wander off.” 

“Of course not. I’ll just be here. Thinking about how this Dalí knockoff really speaks to my soul.” 

“I wanna hear all about it when I get back.” 

You listened to the sound of him retreating, footsteps echoing down the hallway as you clasped your hands together and looked up at the larger than life nonsense displayed on the wall. It took you a little too long to realize that you actually heard him leaving- where… only moments before… the hall had been alight with the sound of voices. And now… 

It was deathly quiet. The chill returned. 

Maybe they’d followed after Tony. He was always the life of these little parties. Maybe there was an event going on in another wing you hadn’t been paying attention to. Maybe the auction had started- 

Or, maybe, you’d been right the entire time. And the person slowly approaching you, basking in self reverie, was about to really ruin your evening. But you really just had no idea how much ruining would be happening. 

“It’s a nice piece, don’t you think?” The voice was not immediately familiar, though the deepness of it dropped your heart right into your stomach. “It will be up for auction later. You should put a bid on it. It goes to a very good cause.” 

A heavy presence landed beside you, and you were almost suddenly too frightened to look. People may not have been sharing this space with you any longer- either scared off by this man or simply ordered to leave so he could be alone with you- but they were watching from the corners and balconies. You had to hold yourself steady as you turned and were freshly chilled all over again as you found yourself in the shadow of a larger than life man. 

A very imposing man. 

“Mr. Fisk.” Wilson Grant Fisk. One of the most dangerous men in this entire city. One you hoped you’d never cross paths with. Drug dealer, arms smuggler, murderer- Kingpin, so you’d heard some rumors label him. No one would dare speak them aloud, though. They’d be dead before they dropped. 

One of the only men in the world to have just about everyone in his back pocket. Incapable of being told no. 

And apparently, just a few nights ago, below the Avengers’ pay grade. 

“You look lovely, my dear. We weren't sure you would come. Did the rest of your friends join you?” He lifted his glass of bourbon, sipping at it slowly, rings glittering in the light along his big meaty fingers. If he’d had a mind to he could have reached out and wrapped that giant hand around your throat in one clean move. 

No one would have stopped him. 

“Busy, I’m afraid. Just Tony and I are here. I hope that’s not disappointing.” You made every attempt to hold still, to not let him frighten you, as you smiled plainly up at him. People with superpowers… aliens… gods- somehow they all paled in comparison to a simple and dangerous man of conviction. 

He chuckled. “Not at all. I know it’s a very taxing thing. Saving the world. Cleaning up the ills of the streets. That’s what my new vision is. Hell’s Kitchen has been a mess lately, and I intend to do something about it. I’m sure you understand the fire.” 

Fisk had definitely been behind those bombings. He was basically telling you so himself. He’d blown up those buildings- probably to just get rid of that mafia hold out. Maybe even just for fun, but it was more likely someone had said something to him snidely and he hadn’t taken it well. So he’d bombed four warehouses over it. Seemed like the kind of thing he’d do. And now he was holding a charity function. 

When you didn’t answer, he swirled his drink around in his glass and continued, “Crime fighting is such a territory battle these days. I would surely hope you don’t think I’m edging into your claimed spaces.” 

“And here I thought WHiH had just posted the crime rates in the city had never been lower.” Squeezing your hands together just to get a literal grip on yourself as you continued placating him. 

“Bah. Useless media drivel. Though I’m sure it’s of no surprise to you, I think your little Avengers are giving rise to quite a bout of vigilantism. Then again…” He laughed a little darkly. “I’m sure in some circles your group could be considered as such…” 

“We’re government sanctioned.” Chipper as you beat him back on the idea. Probably a bad thing to do but… oh well. “I work very closely with President Ellis.” 

“Ah, yes. President Ellis. There are many who are quite inconsolable over what a poor job he’s been doing. Not the least of which… well. I suppose it can’t be considered his fault aliens came to New York.” He was staring you down, lips quirked. Probably trying to get a read on you. Trying to see if he could make you squirm. 

“I think he did the best he could. And we were happy to have helped.” This was where you were planting your flag. No matter if it was Fisk you were up against. 

“You? You mean to say Stark Industries? Or the Avengers?” 

“Both. First the latter and then the former.” 

He chuckled again, eyes lowering, taking a long slow sip of his drink. Breathing out. “Yes… I quite admire you and Mr. Stark- although I hope you won’t think it terrible of me, I’ve always envied Mr. Stark. Quite a man of vision, wouldn’t you say? Always had the steel to do what it took to get things done. Still does, I think. Which is why I was hoping to get a word in with both of you. About-” 

Tony’s blessed presence popped on your proverbial radar as he came sort of rushing- yet in that cool way of his that just seemed natural- to your side. Wine glass held out, “Sorry it took me so long. The selection here is fantastic.” Putting himself square between you and Fisk. “And we no doubt have you to thank.” Turning, when you took your glass in hand. 

You didn’t want to appear to be cowering behind Tony. But… now that he was here… 

Fisk grinned at him. “No detail too small to overlook. Your gratitude is appreciated. I hope in kind you’ll listen to my proposal.” He stuck his hand out. “It’s good to finally meet you face to face, Mr. Stark.” 

No stranger to shaking hands with men who wanted nothing good for him or the world, Tony was a pro. Slick as he reached out and gave Fisk a hard handshake. “Proposal. You’ll have to call the office. We’re a little busy, at the moment.” 

The mood shifted immediately. Fisk’s smile dropped. “Some might call that rude, you know.” Then, easy as it left, the grin returned. “You’re here now.” As if he’d caught Tony in a trap. “I’m merely speaking about cleaning up the filth in this city. I’m sure you must respect the notion. I think joining together on something like that could be groundbreaking.” 

Tony tipped his head up, steely-eyed as he made his presence huge. “I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear where my loyalties lie.” Lifting his own glass, he took a sip of his drink before adding, “If you’d like me to explain it for you, I’d be happy to. But only for about five more minutes. We’re leaving soon.” 

All the ghosts in the hall shook with electric shock. Tony Stark. Easily standing in open defiance of Wilson Fisk. 

Fisk’s grin twitched before growing wider. “If that’s how you feel about it.” Threatening the both of you with a strange gaze. Lingering on it. The two of you standing without flinching to it. Eventually he broke, turning away finally and walking off. “Some might consider it poor form to get drinks at an open bar of a charity event and then leave.” 

Lifting a little on your tiptoes, shivering with frantic terrified energy, steadied by Tony’s arm moving around your waist, you raised your voice just to reach him, “Stark Industries has already made a donation to the people hurt by the bombings.” 

The last thing Fisk did was laugh in the corridor. “The world is so lucky, isn’t it? What would we do without you two, I wonder?” 

You and Tony stood there. Stock still. Watching him leave. Drinking until your glasses were empty. Then you did exactly as Tony had said- left. Though you took your time in getting your coats. Not running. Just leaving. But as soon as you were in the car his hand moved to take yours in an iron grip. 

Anxious energy flooded out of you. “This is bad.” 

“I’m sorry.” Though him saying that confused you. 

“What for?” Aiming a puzzled look up his way in the darkness. 

“For letting him shadow you like that- something was up- I felt it. Right as I put my order in I felt this…” Struggling just a little as he tried to put words to a feeling- “It was like someone zipped their fingers up my spine. And then I rush back to find Wilson Fisk standing over you, staring you down.” 

Your alarm had somehow touched Tony. So much so that it had frightened him into flight to come find you. But apparently a little too late. You settled a hand over his bouncing knee. “I just don’t get it… it’s not like he believes we have no idea what he’s up to.” You would put a good bet on that being why he operated in shadow for so long. If he didn’t get in your way, maybe you’d stay out of his. But then… why this? “Why now? What does he want?” What would provoke him so much to be this public?

And not only that- 

But to ask you and Tony to try out a life of crime? 

There was no way in hell he was actually trying to err on the side of good for once in his life. 

“I don’t know.” Tony’s answer was tired and frustrated. “Something’s got him spooked.” 

“Really?” You didn’t get that sense but… then again… you’d been a little too preoccupied with your own fear to feel clearly. 

“Guys like that- c’mon. They don’t bow out of their own rings unless something bigger than them is looming. Enemy of my enemy type deal.” Speaking from rough experience, it seemed. “Maybe spooked isn’t the right word. ...angry, might be closer.” 

The threads of connection pulled taut. “He was talking about vigilantes. You think someone’s trying to bring him down?” 

Tony settled back a little bit more, arm coming around your shoulders. “Maybe. Let’s just hope it’s not someone with a dramatic cape-and-cowl deal. ...and someone who knows what they’re doing.” 

You sighed, laying your head against his shoulder, raising your hand just over his heart. “I don’t know. Sometimes I still don’t even know what we’re doing.” 

At this he breathed out a soft little amused noise. “Yeah. Well. Either way I’m sure we’ll find out sooner rather than later.” 

Through the darkness you peered up at him. “And whose side do we land on in the event of a nuclear explosion?” If someone was trying to bring down Fisk, it was going to get ugly. Very fast. And if it was an enhanced individual? There was really no telling what the landscape would end up looking like. Other than scarred. 

“Our own.” 

For many reasons this soothed you. Eyes closing, you rested a little easier against him. Even more so when his own hand moved over yours. “That’s where your loyalties are, huh?” Tony was a tough man. He’d stared down more in his life than anyone ever should. 

...but it still had been kind of cool to witness him, unflinching, verbally backhand Fisk that way. 

Still speaking seriously, “With you. The team. And people that can’t help themselves.” 

Moving your hand a little higher, you palmed his cheek, turning him so you could press a kiss to the opposite one. “I love a loyal man.” 

This broke the darkness hanging over him, though in all fairness maybe the two of you should have stayed serious about this. Still… it dragged a smile out of him. “If nothing else, I’m always on your side.” 

“Don’t I know it.” He’d rushed to your side- literally- as soon as he thought something was wrong. And stood by your side to talk down a very threatening man. It was no wonder you felt safe with him around. Whether or not you could, as he’d put it, help yourself. Straying a little, you left a gentle kiss at his lips. “I love you.” 

His hand reached up to thread back through your hair, holding steady at the back of your head. “I love you, too. Let’s not overreact on this one. Someone’s on to him. I’m gonna find out who knows what.” 

You found yourself agreeing with this. The more information you had, the better. Leaning your forehead against his, “I trust you.” 

He hummed out some sweet, lost noise of warm gratitude as your lips met again. You decided very quickly; the rest of the world could wait. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 125

Back at the penthouse you freshened up, having to shake off the wilds of the past meeting before getting on the jet to go into what would be yet another most likely frustrating meeting. As you exited the bedroom, changed into a sharp fitted suit and tie (dress to impress … or intimidate, either one), slipping your bag over your shoulder, Tony met you in the front room by the elevators. “Hmn.” A humming approval. “Does this mean we’re still on for tonight?” 

Arching a brow, though unable to help your smile, “Why does this mean that?” 

“Come on. Slip on a trilby and you look like you’re ready for a night on the town.” At your rather dry look he held up both his hands. “In a good way, I assure you.” 

“Yes. I’m very assured.” Leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. “I have to go.” 

Slipping his hand into his pocket, he returned with a jingle of car keys. “I know. Can I drive you?” 

With Happy having gone ahead to prep the jet, you were thinking about either driving yourself or getting a company car to take you. But… how could you say no to that. “Why so suddenly?” Still, you had to be just a little suspicious. 

“I need some air after all that.” 

“It’s very airy up here.” Eying him just a little more. 

He gave up the ghost with a caught grin. “Sure. But. I thought maybe we could talk, too.” 

Giving him a small pat on the chest and another kiss on the cheek, “Okay. But no speeding.” It must have been important. So you couldn’t really deny him. Especially not with the barest hint of anxiety swirling about him.

“It’ll kill me, but you have my word.”

Down in the parking garage he picked out the car that went to the set of keys he’d been jangling at you. Some slick prototype Audi no doubt. You really weren’t so interested in his car collection. The color was nice. And the front seats were comfortable. That’s what really mattered. 

Only just pulled out and away from the tower, his hands gripped the wheel before drumming his fingers slightly. “Did you bring the Reactor with you?” 

That… that didn’t feel great. “It’s in my purse. Why?” 

“Just checking.” 

“I was planning on leaving it on the jet. I don’t think bringing weapons into the White House is a great idea.” Everyone could spot it, by now. They knew what it was, when you wore it. Matthew was already jumpy. You didn’t need to make him worse. 

“It’s not a weapon, it’s defense. Remember?” Giving you a quick glance out of the corner of his eye with a grin. But both disappeared in the next second. “I think you should at least keep it in your purse.” His eyes were on the road and he was speaking in that pretend-effortlessly casual way of his.

But you knew better, and didn’t take the first thrown bait in order to get to the root of this. “What’s wrong?” 

At this he shook his head, fingers up on the wheel for a moment. “I think this is all a little too close for comfort. And certainly- probably- not a coincidence.” 

“We haven’t had many of those.” Funny, you were just thinking about this last night. It was like the two of you shared one brain sometimes.

“No we have not.” He cleared his throat, one hand moving around. “Let’s think about this logically. Hill just admitted SHIELD bungled a bunch of stuff- not the least of which was theft of- technically- sensitive United States property. Co-owned by Stark Industries, sure. But. Let’s be real here. I can bring the hammer down while you’re away, but that’s not gonna help anyone. ...no matter how much I want to.” Understanding, it seemed, why you’d walked away from turning into a volcano about SHIELD stealing from you. Even if he was incredibly angry about it. He cleared his throat and moved on, “Anyway. Now we’re on a sudden task force to retrieve it. Right around the exact time Ellis wants a private meeting with you in the White House.” 

When he laid it all out like that… yeah. It made sense. And it also made sense why he was in a bit of a quiet tizzy over it. “And here I thought you were about to say you thought Ellis had teamed up with Fisk and they were about to tell me to turn ourselves in.” 

“My next point, I’m sure. Because it’s either or. The universe hasn’t been too kind lately, with that sort of stuff.” At a red light he half tilted, gazing at you. “He didn’t say you couldn’t bring anyone, but it’s pretty clear he wants you alone. And I want you safe.” 

You tried a brave smile on for him, but it was just shy of painful. “Tony… if the government makes me into a villain-” Then what could you do? What could any of you do?

“Then we unmake. There’s always a way out. But I’m not trying to prepare you for a worst-case scenario. I’m just… trying to look out for you.” The light changed and he was quick to lean on the gas again to get the car moving, eyes going back to the road. 

Reaching over, you laid a hand on his thigh. “I appreciate it.” More than words could say. “...I’ll bring the Reactor. But honestly, if I’m about to be taken away in handcuffs I think I should just eat that and then get the lawyers on it. Attacking people in the White House would be exactly the sort of press we wouldn’t need.” 

“Fair point. But I still believe in the right to protect yourself.” Grinning, but not really feeling it. 

                                                   ---

He promised to pick you up, too, once you returned home. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a long stay in DC. Maybe a couple of hours, if you were lucky. This much air time for such a small visit didn’t necessarily feel good, nor did you want to spend so much time in the air in order to accomplish so little but… aside taking the suit to the White House’s front steps, this was the only thing you could do. 

After a quiet kiss on the private runway, you departed, heading up the jet’s stairs and giving Happy a murmur of gratitude for his help as always. Once the stairs were reloaded and you sat down, you pulled your laptop out of your bag to start working on some other things while you’d be otherwise incapacitated from actual work. 

Once the jet was in the air, Happy rose his voice to reach you from the cockpit. You were in one of the much smaller personal jets. Nicer. Comfier. Less consumption. “You want me to come with you?” 

This was not an offer of just driving you to and from the White House. He was asking if you wanted, or even felt like you needed him. Or at least somebody by your side. And, as the President had gone out of his way to isolate you… “I’d like that. Thank you.” 

“Just doing my job.” Head of Security. You heard his smile, but there was a wave of gratefulness and pride that thrummed out from him that really made it all worth it. 

                                                  ---

It was actually very nice to have Happy with you, as it seemed somebody had leaked your schedule to the press. They were parked out all along the sidewalk and the White House usual reporters were even waiting for you out front. Since the circle of people who knew you were coming on your side was very small, you had to believe someone on Ellis’ team told someone you’d be arriving. But why? 

Happy escorted you from the car and stuck tight by your side, arming people out of the way so you could make it inside. People were shouting the usual nonsense, looking for pictures, soundbites, anything that would give them good reason for no doubt having waited outside for hours. But you gave them nothing. Eyes forward, spine straight, and nothing to say. ...mostly because you had no idea what you were doing here anyway. 

Ellis’ executive secretary met you in one of the outer wings, which was nice because there would be less explaining to do about why you couldn’t pass a metal detector check. Something she probably knew- something probably everyone in the White House knew. But you were an invited guest. You’d have no reason to hurt the President. And you’d have nowhere to run if you even did. So… 

You tried to press your luck as you approached the west wing. “Why am I here, Delores?” Not the first time you’d spoken with her. Definitely wouldn’t be the last. Acquaintances at best, after these few years of having to more or less work for her boss. Privately or not. She was an older woman, kind but tough. Probably exactly what Ellis needed to run just about everything for him. 

Just in front of his door she paused with an apologetic smile, “I don’t exactly know. But. I’m pretty sure you won’t enjoy it.” She was lying, for sure. She knew everything that went on around here. Funny, how women ruled the world that way. Still. She did work for Ellis, and not you. 

“Thanks.” As flatly as you could make the word just as she knocked on the door. You made a small motion to Happy for him to wait outside, no doubt not invited in the slightest. Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long.

Just as the door closed behind you, you realized a little too late you’d walked into a trap. ...truly the thing that was a shock was just how surprising this was to you, considering you and Tony had been talking about it before you’d come. President Ellis was sitting behind his desk and standing in front of it was a very decorated officer. Not one you recognized immediately. 

“Thank you for coming.” Ellis found his voice just as you stopped short of the opposite side of his desk. “I’d like you to meet General Glenn Talbot.” 

Said man in question held his hand out. “It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am.” He was about your height, maybe a little taller. Broad shouldered. High cut hair, shaved on the sides, and a thick mustache. You didn’t get the sense he was here to take you away. ...not yet, anyway. 

So. Cordial behavior was probably the best idea. You put your hand in his giving him a firm shake. “Thank you. Mind telling me what I’m doing here?” Assuming he was the reason you’d been called here. 

At this he grinned. “Right to the point. I like it. Truth be told, you’re somewhat of a legend around the proverbial water cooler. Our relationship has been pretty hot-and-cold, I know.” Speaking of Stark Industries, you supposed. His smile disappeared in the next split second and he turned very serious. “But we’re beyond legends, now. We’re in the middle of an ocean. Sink or swim. And it’s important to know whose side you’re on.” 

You tried to refrain from making a face at him, and only slightly succeeded. Your brow arched without your permission, the corner of your lip turning flat. “I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Does anyone want to hand me a folder so I can get up to speed?” Where was your briefing? What was going on?? 

Ellis called your attention on the form of your name and looked up. “There’s been a lot of international talking lately. I would have liked more time, but my hands are being forced here. We’re- I’m- tasking you with being the United States’ Enhanced Forces Ambassador.” 

A chill crept over your shoulders. “I’m not enhanced, sir.” That was your story and you were sticking to it. And you really hoped now was not the time this was all coming out. 

He settled his hands together. “You have a suit that enhances your capabilities. That makes you enhanced. You’re also the most qualified out of your team. So don’t ask me what happens if you refuse.” 

This was a very serious threat. Letting you draw assumptions about what might happen to you- to all of you, if you turned this down. And none of it would be pretty. But you found yourself shaking your head. “That’s what you called me here for? To give me some imaginary position?” 

Talbot put his attention on you again. “Oh it’s real. And the only reason I’m letting you wing me is because I’ve seen the buried footage of you shouting down Nick Fury in his own building.” At that your face really did screw up. “Now you look me in the eye and tell me you still hold no allegiance to SHIELD.” 

“I’m sorry-” Putting your hand up to stop this madness. “Who the hell are you? What is this about? SHIELD is dead. Your people saw to that.” Giving Ellis the side-eye. He was involved as much as anyone in that. 

But Talbot reclaimed your gaze as he spoke. “SHIELD’s still running amok. And I’d ask you if you knew where its director was if I wasn’t so sure you’d just lie to me.” 

“Nick Fury is dead. You seem to think you’re smart, you should know that.” 

“I’m talking about Phil Coulson. And don’t try and tell me he’s dead, too, because we spoke not so long ago.” You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, “Now I’d expect someone in your position to understand the large scale impact SHIELD had. It goes beyond this nation. And other nations have been getting real antsy.” 

Your frustrations showed. “What does any of this have to do with me?” 

“We’re preparing a meeting at the United Nations in a month. Another denouncing of SHIELD. And you are going to stand right by me and smile your prettiest smile and pretend like you’re on our side.” 

“Which side is that, sir?” Boiling over now as you crossed your arms. “The one that builds up these momentous groups only to shutter them- label them terrorists- as soon as they stop being of benefit? Get rid of them when they stop being profitable? Or when they get caught holding all your dirty secrets?” 

He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to-” 

“That makes two of us.” 

This Talbot was clearly not used to being talked down to. Or told no. His hands balled into tight fists at his sides and he leaned a little to encroach on your personal space. “Listen up, ma’am. You and your team are getting real cozy up there on that throne. Causing destruction and chaos in the name of justice.” 

“Oh, so you think we’re alike, is that it? Isn’t that what the military does?” You held your hand right up to his face to stop him. “Don’t bother. I used to liaison back when Stark Industries pretended it cared about justice as much as you still do. It still all comes down to one thing- the bottom line. And that was something a little greener than justice.” 

He went a little red but something snapped his attention and he let go of an amused noise. “Yeah. I remember. You know, Colonel Rhodes has had nothing but nice things to say about you. Then again, you’re good at fooling lots of people.” 

You had to hold yourself steady. If the military was investigating you for some ridiculous position as a right arm to keep themselves looking strong, it would make sense that they’d talked to Rhodey. But there was just something sinister in the way he was talking about him. Your silence in easing yourself allowed the opening for him to keep speaking. 

“If the Avengers are going to go around taking out threats that the military can’t handle- then they need to live by some rules. And they need to show up when everyone else in the world starts questioning their authority. Or their peacekeeping strategies.” Getting close again he narrowed his eyes as he stared you down. “Am I making myself clear?” 

“Barely.” It was extremely unfortunate this had set your heart to pounding. This was an inevitability, you were sure. You just didn’t want to have to deal with it right now. But the fact was… the United States of America had several enhanced individuals under their employ. That they used to enact peace and justice. Even if it meant that came with violence. 

The world wouldn’t stay quiet about that for long. 

“Your people are about to become the new nuclear arms race. So it pays to have one of the supposed scientists- or ringleaders in your case- sitting by a general’s side while we all pretend we get along. Otherwise-” 

“Try threatening me again and see what happens.” Risking your luck. You would not be pushed around. You would not stand while he threw hypotheticals about ripping your team apart. No matter if what he was saying was true. When he balked, “I understand, Mr. Talbot.” 

Bristling even harder, “That’s General Talbot to you.” 

You ignored him. “It seems like I have no choice but to accept this position. But I’m still unclear about what this has to do with SHIELD.” 

“SHIELD hired your people. Brought them together without anyone’s knowledge. Without anyone’s permission, even. Now that they’re in the water, we need to show you belong to us and not them.” 

“SHIELD had the government’s permission. Just because you people pretend like that’s not the case doesn’t make it so.” This wasn’t the only thing you had to defend. And on the next breath, “And we don’t belong to anyone.” This was a mistake, and you hated that you took his bait so easily. Panic was not a good color on you. 

He seized it with a smirk. “Then that makes you vigilantes. Which makes you criminals. Enhanced or not. We can make a jail cell for everyone on your team. Don’t try me.” He was getting closer, pointing a finger very near to your face. “Because that’s the next stop. You start pissing off America with this superhero bullshit, you can be sure the other nations of the world will fall in line. Goes the other way around, too. Just in case you were curious.” His grin was terrible. “That’s not a threat by the way. That’s just facts.” 

But it was. You didn’t want to deal with this now. You didn’t want to face this now. ...and you wouldn’t have to. If you just sat by their side like an obedient dog and barked when they commanded speak. 

It was all too true. The Avengers operated in some seriously muddy waters. Ellis allowed it. You assumed it was because you’d helped him. More than he deserved, and never just for him. For the people of his nation, the reason you’d gone to war in New York with aliens. And the reason you’d go on more missions yet to… to do what you had to do. Yes. In the name of that fabled peace and justice. 

But what if Ellis revoked his permission? What if America turned its back on you? What if they labeled the Avengers a terrorist organization, just like they had done to SHIELD? What then? What could any of you do?

You had no choice. You had to eat this. For your family. 

“When next month are you addressing the United Nations about this? My schedule is dense.” Letting defeat show. It would go just as long of a way in placating this Talbot. 

“March 7th.” With your acquiescence, he seemed to slow a little. 

“I’ll be there.” Making sure to hold a steady gaze with him. He’d won now. Sure. He had you where he supposedly wanted you. And you’d take that with your head held high. 

It worked. He seemed to feel a little uneasy. There was also a strange sense of guilt. “For what it’s worth… SHIELD was good, when it was good. But I think we both know they let themselves get away with a lot. Simply because they knew they could.” 

You shifted your stance. “And you think the Avengers are headed down the same road?” 

“I questioned it. But less so now.” Holding his hand out again. When you took too long he frowned. “Make no mistake. This is what’s best for everyone.” 

Giving him your best dead-eyed stare, “I’m sure you think that.” Ignoring the last chance to shake his hand, no matter how petty that was. Turning to Ellis, “Is that all, sir?” 

His lips thinned, pressed tight for a moment and then he nodded. “For now. We’ll follow up before the meeting.” 

Adjusting your purse on your shoulder you turned very sharply and headed for the door. Just before you could put your hand on it, Talbot spoke up again. “By the way… you wouldn’t happen to know anything about the breaking, entering, and robbing of one of our facilities, would you? We’re missing some sensitive equipment from a vault.” 

You didn’t even turn to look at him. “I’m sure I know as much about that as you know about dismantled Stark Industries property illegally being harbored and utilized.” Much as you’d taken a beating, you had to remind these people you still had bite in you. You were not a woman to be trifled with. 

Not waiting for whatever stupid thing he was going to say next, you let yourself out of the Oval Office, and Happy immediately got up once he saw you. You remained silent, head down, especially assaulted again by the press once outside. Your nerves were frayed. Your edges were cracked. 

And… A deep terrible part of you just felt like crying. Like you’d just been called into the principal's office over you and your friends doing something bad. And now you were in trouble. A lot of trouble. 

But that made you weak. You couldn’t break down over this. Barely anything had happened- yet. 

A headache was coming on strong as you held every part of yourself back. You could not allow yourself to crumble over this. You had to be strong. For them. Because this was only the first stop. You knew that. You could sit at Talbot’s side in front of the world and play the good puppy, but this wouldn’t stop there. Maybe it would be a year from now- two- five- maybe you’d get lucky and get away with ten. 

But it didn’t matter. The world was getting bigger now. And much more dangerous. 

Talbot was right. Your group might as well have been seen as the next nuclear bomb. 

And eventually some treaties were going to have to be written. To keep you from being used. 

                                                  ---

You sat in silence, the cabin as dark as you could make it. One thought kept circling: would you ever get a fucking break? Was life ever going to be fair? Would it ever just stop being like this? Or was this it. This was all you got. This was what you signed up for. This was what you had to keep doing. 

Until it crushed you. Like it was doing now. 

Tony met you on the runway, like he promised, after the jet had landed. He looked like he was ready to go out somewhere but his smile evaporated the second he laid eyes on you. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” 

You couldn’t even look at him. “I just need to go home.” 

His frown was heavy. “Yeah. Alright…” Opening your door for you and then closing it carefully after you sat down. You slumped in your seat, eyes lost as you stared ahead. Once he got in he started the car and pulled off the tarmac. “Honey… you gotta give me something. What are we dealing with here?” 

He was concerned. For you. Not the team. Not what had happened- but how it had happened, and what it had done to you. 

Your body ached for some sort of catharsis. And that was maybe why watery words bubbled out of you before you could rethink them, “We’re never gonna have a life…” Reaching your hands up as the realization dawned, tears leaking from your eyes. You had to cover them. Try and hide your shame. 

There were worse things and you were worried about… well… 

“What?” It was your sadness that cut through him so suddenly, causing him to hit the brakes, pulling off to the side of the road after. 

Your breathing very suddenly was not under control. “I’m sorry- I just-” 

Parked, he half reached over, hands gentle at your wrists. “Don’t be sorry- just talk to me- what’s going on? What happened?” 

He managed to get one hand away from your face, but the other rubbed at your temple as an incoherent mess escaped you. “We’re stuck in SHIELD’s fever dream- and we’re never gonna stop paying the price for it- we’re never gonna have a life- this is it- this is what it’s always going to be-” Some part of you had been holding out hope. Maybe Ultron would fix this. Maybe it would allow you to be normal. 

But there was no normal. And you’d been ignoring that Tony had been getting frustrated and angry over the lack of progress- because if he wasn’t making progress that meant you really were going to have to accept that this superhero fantasy was going to go on forever. And it was only going to get more and more dangerous until one or both of you died. 

And not in a good way, either. It would be terrible. You were sure of this. Someone would drag you kicking and screaming to a painful death. All because you wanted to save the world. 

Because of this, you weren’t free. You weren’t free to have a life with Tony. To plan. To grow. To do anything but be slave to this and all its facets. All the ways you had to pay for it, all the ways you had to clean up after it-

Tony sat, utterly helpless while you blubbered some of this out to him. A weeping wreck so very quickly. But this had been months in the making, if not years. You’d been fooling yourself, thinking New York had in any way changed things for the better. Or SHIELD going belly-up into the river. Things had only gotten verifiably worse since then. And they’d continue to get sucked into that vortex until the bitter end. And you were realizing, now, it wasn’t just the loss of raising a family together with him. It was the loss of everything with him.

And you were selfish you knew. Because you were crying over the loss of one, or at least a pair of lives. Inconsequential, right? In the grand scheme of things? Billions on this planet. What did one or two matter? You should have been able to put yourself aside for that greater good. It was selfish to be this distraught over finally coming to grips with this. 

This was your life. And it was no life at all. It never could be. You’d been foolish, letting yourself get lulled into lofty, unobtainable dreams of marriage. Of being in love. Of just having a normal life. 

You were not normal. You never had been. You never would be. 

Why did you keep coming back to this? You thought you’d accepted this- that this was your last stop as a person. You’d grieved the loss of an actual future where you weren’t just a weapon to bring peace. Then you’d been fooled into thinking maybe it wouldn’t always be this way. But it would. You needed to just stop lying about it, to stop letting Tony lie to you about it- no matter how good his intentions were. 

You both needed to just wake up and come together on this. There was no future for you like this. You’d love each other, and stand by each other. But this would be the thing that would kill you. 

Something you’d warned Tony about so very long ago. This was the life he had chosen, and you right after him. There would be no rest. There would be no normal. And in the end you would die living this exact life. With almost nothing to show for it. 

But at least… at least you could hope the world would be better off. Because if someone didn’t get something out of your suffering… then there really would be no point at all. 

                                                  ---

Tony was absolutely sure there had never been anything so painful in his entire life than sitting across from the woman he loved while she wept about the loss of her future. Their future. And not just that. Really, it was the loss of freedom. Of choice. Because of a single one they’d stuck to. That they had to. 

She saw no future with him where they were happy. No future that was their own. She seemed to think they merely existed to belong to the people. To some notion of justice. Of protection. And that was it. They had no identity beyond fighting for what was right, and fighting around that to keep up pace with everything else. 

Ellis and some man named Talbot had apparently threatened her- her and the team, in that meeting. And it had scared her enough to retreat. To go back to believing there was nothing in this life for either of them, but knew that they had to remain prisoners to it regardless. They couldn’t just walk away. She was spiraling now, unable to see past any of it. The man in black and what that meant- the woman before her- SHIELD dying, the aliens- everything being stolen- and now on top of it the government was bearing down hard on her. Threatening her because of them.

So that was it. This was it for them. At least, that’s what she seemed to think. And it was killing her. 

Which made it no surprise when he found himself wiping at his own eyes, trying to take a settling breath that hitched in his chest, trying to steady himself so he could be strong for her. She needed someone in her corner. She just needed someone. 

He put a hand at the side of her head, directing her closer in the small space of the car, down until she was holding to him, face buried in his shoulder. No one had the right to do this to her. Not to her. No one had the right to make her feel this way. But it wasn’t really a person, Ellis or Talbot be damned. It was a concept. A notion. 

...how was he supposed to fight against that? 

After he was able to get her to breathe, struggling with her a long few moments, he made up his mind. He let silence sit for a little while before speaking softly. “I need you to take some time off.” And when she started to protest, he threaded his fingers through her hair. Tried to soothe her back off that edge. “You need to take time off. SHIELD and the government- the scepter recon- all of it gets put aside starting now.” 

Her head was shaking and protests were starting. “I can’t just-” 

“Just the rest of the month.” And when she shifted back and looked up at him, that broken light still reflecting in her eyes, he reached up to cup her cheek in his palm. “Honey, I am begging you.” If he had to, then he would. And it seemed like there was no other way she would budge. “You’re losing yourself here. You’re losing hope.” 

She seemed like she might cry again, which was not in any way what he wanted to do to her. Her eyes closed tight. “I’m sorry- I’m overreacting- I’m just-” 

“Don’t be sorry. And you’re not. We’re under a lot of pressure, I get that. So should you.” She was careful with everyone else she loved but herself. She stood up for everyone else but never herself. It broke his heart so completely. She deserved so much more than this. ...and it was his fault she couldn’t get it. He held her face in both her hands and as best he could, he assured her, “It’s okay.” And when she searched his eyes, he leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. “I love you. We’re gonna be okay. We’ll get there.” 

 Reassuring her. The same way she had done for him.

Tony expected her to rebuff him. Maybe to ask how he could possibly know that. But what she did was worse. Because she did the same thing he had, when she’d talked him off a ledge and told him these exact words. He believed her then. And now-

With a lost whimper of a noise she crumbled into him again, holding on to him tight. Maybe, just maybe, believing him. Which might have been worse. 

Because he’d just promised the woman he was desperately, endlessly, hopelessly in love with that he would figure this out for them. That they would, that they could, have a future together. Something safe and sustainable. And she’d just… accepted it. Trusted him. 

So now. Now he had to figure it out. He had to figure all of this out for her. For them. 

And for her? For her he’d do anything. She was lucky he was a genius. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 128

Down in the lab that was definitely not a hospital, you were drifting in and out on top of a cold table while a scan finished. You didn’t think it was particularly necessary, but Tony was in a mood, so there was really no saying no. As JARVIS spoke a hologram of your insides- which kind of felt like a violation (even though you’d agreed)- lit up just aside you. “The blast from the PF-98 shattered your side-wall defense and fractured your ribs which then punctured your lung. Falling approximately one hundred and twelve feet with no attempt at stabilization did not help, either. You also have a minor concussion.” Damage points lit up to life in bright cherry-red, while the video through your helmet visor at the time of the fight played in a different smaller window. 

“Well, that explains the pain.” Doing your best to hold your annoyance at bay. 

“Second scans show your metabolic healing rate is slower than previous charting. In fact, it has been slowing by a rate of .04% every year beginning in May of 2012.” 

Your eyes met with Tony’s as he half turned, one arm crossed, the other resting in the crook so he could hold his chin in his palm. 2012. How about that. “Some people can’t even heal at all, so I’ll count my blessings.” Trying to just… ignore the implications of whatever that was, sitting up- and then lying right back down with an uneasy groan. “So- I’ll just- hang out here for a while…” Closing your eyes you basked in the sound of machines humming and Tony’s fingers drumming on tech-glass. “We actually should look into an in-house medic, you know.” 

His amused scoff sounded off somewhere to your left. “Yeah. Barton nearly bit off more than he could chew today. I’ll make some calls. I’ve got some people in mind.” 

The white noise in the quiet was not as calming as you would have liked. “...you get an ID on that weapon yet?” 

Frustration rolled over to you from him as he tried to keep it together. “I’ve been pulling data for hours. Nothing comes close to what you saw.” 

While you didn’t want to be the one that asked… “Are we thinking it’s alien tech?” Because your team was now on a hunt for Hydra after learning they’d stolen alien parts. It made sense, right? 

“The Chitauri didn’t have anything like this. Otherwise they would have turned us to dust the second they hit the street.” Easy conclusion to draw. These things were small- possibly easy to make. Definitely easy to carry in large numbers. But if this wasn’t tied to your current problem, that meant there were more problems. “They were beasts, they wanted to fight. Guts and glory. This would have been too easy a kill for them.” 

JARVIS suddenly spoke above you, “Ma’am, you are producing alarming amounts of norepinephrine.” You didn’t need him to explain what that was exactly to know what he was getting at. 

Pretending like you didn’t care, however, “It would have been foolish to assume the Chitauri were the only aliens around- what is Ultron for if not that- but does SHIELD have files on-” 

“SHIELD has plenty of files. All pertinent ones to this? Deep sixed. With just enough breadcrumbs.” 

The sound of a door opening on the far side of the lab preceded a familiar voice, and a gaggle of footsteps. “SHIELD used to have plenty of files.” You half sat up quickly, ignoring the pain, to see Coulson and three unfamiliar faces approaching. “But SHIELD’s time is over. Remember? Unless you’ve been hanging around Talbot a little too long.”

Tony’s continued frustration boiled over into anger, though he hid it. “Security breach.” 

JARVIS answered. “My apologies, sir. It was the next thing on my list, had the both of you not ignored me.” 

Pushing yourself off the table, trying to make yourself a little more presentable to your sudden guests (not particularly happy about being bombarded in your own home), you started pulling sensors off your skin and removed the band from your head. “It’s nice to see you. You should have called ahead, I would have made dinner.” 

Coulson stopped just at the other end of the table. “You’ve done enough for one day.” 

Tony snapped his fingers a few times at the other boy Coulson had brought with him, “You leave so much as a fingerprint on my console-” Threatening him then with a point of his finger. Said boy recoiled, holding his hands up in defense. A short man, brown hair, blue eyes; kind of unremarkable. “Don’t touch my stuff.” 

“Sorry, sir.” Head down, hands held very tightly together then. Embarrassment leaked off him. He held an unsteady hand Tony’s way. “Fitz, sir. I’m pleased to meet you.” His tone was light but carried with it a Scottish accent.

Coulson sighed. “That’s Agent Fitz. Who knows better. Because we talked about this on the flight over.” He gestured to the other two women who were with him. “This is Agent Simmons and Agent Skye.” 

The one called Simmons held her hand out to you, so you gave her a quick shake. She smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” More pleasant than her partner, brown hair, brown eyes and a kind smile. Soft spoken with a British accent. 

Though Skye had had her arms crossed, she unfurled them to mirror Simmons. So you shook her hand next. Her smile was a little more wry. She seemed a little sharper than Simmons, darker brown hair in loose waves with dark brown eyes. “What she said.” Ah. The tough badass of the group. Message received. 

You immediately put your attention back on Coulson. “There’s a lot of agents in my Tower suddenly for an organization you’re pretending is dead.” 

He tipped his head back. “Well, if we’re beyond the ruse, let me make it clear. Your involvement in this case is no longer necessary.” 

Irritation fluttered through you, not just your own, but Tony’s as well. Still, you were quick enough to get the first words out. “Is that right? I think you’ll remember I quit SHIELD. Working or not, I don’t take orders from you. Director.” 

Tony came closer over to your side. “Director? Fury pass the sword on his way out? What’s the use in titles for an organization that’s in the ground? But- congrats by the way. Huge promotion.” 

“It is.” Coulson agreed. “And it also means I don’t have time to babysit anymore. As far as I understand it, you don’t really have time to investigate this matter, either. So why don’t we just make this very short and sweet.” 

Waving a hand his way, “I stuck up for you today-” 

“Really? When did you do that? Around the time Talbot was telling the UN we’re still a threat?” It was strange. Coulson was usually pretty amicable, even when he was being annoying. But he seemed to be a little… hurt. 

“I told him that wasn’t SHIELD. Because I know it isn’t. We dealt with this a few months back- Hill said she was going to get in touch with you-” 

“She did. And now we’re here. So that ends your involvement.” Dry as ever. 

“No.” Tony was only just starting. You knew this was about to get ugly. “It would have. If you people ever did your jobs. But her involvement included fending off alien tech with no way to save the people around her, while you and these baby agents were probably sitting in front of a TV watching cartoons. Why wasn’t this cleaned up before then? Where were you when it mattered?” Standing face to face with him by the end of it, eyes narrowed. 

Coulson regarded him very carefully. “We’re here now.” 

The heart of the matter came to a head when Tony leaned right into Coulson’s personal space. “Tell me you didn’t know  that SHIELD stole from us. Tell me didn’t know about the scepter changing hands.” 

Silence held the room before the answer came. “Is that what you really want, Stark?” 

Disappointment was a heavy thunder then and Tony shook his head, easing back. You put a hand on his arm to steady him, and tried for something else. “We know it’s alien weaponry. And we know SHIELD must know what kind. Can you just tell us-”

Coulson zeroed in on you. “What difference would it make? If I listed off ten alien races on SHIELD’s radar, what difference would it make? You don’t have any information.” 

Tony made a noise of annoyance. “That’s kind of the point, don’t you think?” 

Simmons took a steadying breath and then very bravely put herself in between you. “If I may… I don’t think this is a productive means of discussion.” 

Skye half turned away. “If I’d have known this was just gonna be a pissing match between SHIELD and the Avengers I would have stayed on the jet.” 

This riled you for more reasons than you could count. You didn’t mean to lay into her, but… “I’m getting the sense you haven’t been an agent for very long.” She turned to look at you, almost momentarily stunned. “We’re not Avengers right now. We’re people. I’m a person who saw people die today. And a lot of signs point to that that could have been avoided- and at the same time today- my team was on a mission trying to clean up a mess SHIELD left for them that has left hundreds more people dead. And thousands more to come if we don’t figure it out for them. So I want you to listen to me very closely, Agent Skye. There’s a line of separation between being a faction and being a person. And you better figure out how to find it. Because SHIELD got real comfortable with lying for a banner cause. For the good of a team that thought it knew better than everyone else. And a lot of people suffered- and are still suffering because of it.” 

A multitude of feelings poured over you. A quick sense of further embarrassment- disappointment- astonishment- but as Tony’s arm wound around you low, hand palming over your hip to pull you to his side- purposefully- there was a warm thrum of pride that rocked him. 

The sound of the door opening in the back cut the tension down to size as everyone turned to see Bruce entering. He had a tablet in his hands, reading, and halfway into the room looked up finally and realized that he’d walked into a mess. “I’m uh… I seem to be interrupting something… I’m sorry.” But truly, you were grateful he had. 

Fitz seemed to jolt at the opportunity to get away from this, going over to him with his hand out. “Doctor Banner, I’m pleased to meet you. Agent Fitz.” 

Simmons was a close second, only after getting a nod from Coulson- probably one that meant she should step away. Which she did, gladly. Excitement bubbled off her as the two of them swarmed Bruce. “Doctor Banner…” 

Their voices were drowned out by Coulson putting his attention back on you. He seemed sullen. “...we don’t know what that weaponry was. But we’re going to find out. We do know who led the attack. His name is Marcus Scarlotti. He’s with Hydra. We have a… history. We know where he’ll be headed. I’ve already sent a team to work on apprehending him.” Bending the knee finally. “I know you have your hands full. And maybe it’s taken me too long… I want it known that I appreciate everything you’ve done. Both for SHIELD and the Avengers. The both of you.” 

But he looked directly at you next. “I don’t know if you’ve ever gone over the leaked case file of your SHIELD assessment. But I put several complaints about Fury’s behavior towards you. He was harder on you than most. And I know that ruined the relationship. For everyone. It was a shame. You were an incredible asset.” Realizing his SHIELD-speak had usurped what he was trying to get at- the very thing you’d just given a lecture about- he shook his head. “...an incredible person.” 

It was better to stop fighting now, even if there were probably more things to say. You tried a smile on for him. “Still am. Hopefully. ...thank you. That means a lot. But I didn’t quit over the way Fury was treating me. I quit over irreconcilable differences with SHIELD.” 

His nod was weak. “We’re running things differently now.”

You made sure to keep an even gaze. “I hope that’s true.” 

 He looked up at Tony again. “I didn’t know SHIELD redirected your trucks until Hill told me. I didn’t know about the scepter, either. Believe it or not, I’ve got my hands pretty full these days.” He drew a breath in but as careful to not let it leave as a sigh. “We’ll handle this. So that you can handle everything else. When we’re finished we’ll give you all the details.” He then held his hand out to Tony. “Alright?” 

Tony let him sweat for ten full seconds before giving it up and putting his hand firm in Coulson’s. “We’re square.” 

Trying your luck, and in the effort of team spirit, “I know you probably have a lot to get to. But it’s late already. Why don’t I call the team and order some dinner for everyone? You can stay the night too, if you need to.” 

Coulson, for once, grinned. “And here I thought last time you said you didn’t have any vacancies.” 

You held up your finger. “For criminals.” 

In the back, Fitz’s hand shot straight up. “I could do with a hot meal. Please.” 

Simmons stopped her fawning over Bruce for a moment to concur. “I think we’ll be alright to stay a while.” 

Tony allowed himself half a smirk. “Well, Coulson, your kids seem to wanna stay.” 

Coulson seemed entirely unamused. “Dinner. And that’s it. Everyone’s back on the jet after. I’ve been meaning to speak to Romanoff and Barton anyway.” 

“They’re probably hanging out downstairs.” Giving them the go ahead to go find them. Coulson’s group petered off towards the exit, sweeping Bruce out with them. You pulled your phone from your pocket, stalled momentarily by Tony’s arm around your shoulders and a cautious glance your way. “What’s up?” 

“Are you really alright for a group dinner?” Still worried it seemed. 

You gave him what you hoped was a reassuring pat to his heart and leaned up to press a small kiss to the corner of his jaw. “I’ll be okay.” He chased you in a lean down, only getting as far as a bare kiss before he pulled back. It was then you realized one of the team had not left. 

Skye was standing there, uncomfortably so, holding tight to herself. Before you could ask her if she was alright, she started speaking. “Look- I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to come off that way. If it’s still worth anything, I really respect everything you’ve done. And the stuff you guys are still doing.” She shook her head. “I know it might seem hollow now, but I know what it’s like to keep busting your ass nonstop, trying to do what’s right, even when everything else seems like it’s always against you.” 

Letting the moment have a few seconds to breathe, you waited to step away from Tony. But when you did, you went to her, and held your hand out. “It’s not hollow. And I appreciate the apology. I’m sorry I went so hard on you.” 

Putting her hand in yours, she returned the gesture with a firm shake. And then a wry grin. “No apologies necessary. Sometimes it’s good to get chewed out from time to time. Reminds you you’re not the only person in the world.” 

                                                      ---

It was genuinely nice to have such a full house for once. While there was still so much work still to do, for both teams sitting in the lounge that night, it was just nice to pretend to be normal. To be a unit. Of course as the evening went on, groups splintered off. You tried not to eavesdrop too heavily, but when Coulson went to speak directly with Nat and Clint you kept your ear turned just the right way. You definitely heard him bring up that Scarlotti character- and then were sure you heard the name Agent Morse. 

Just that name alone sparked an amused interest in Natasha, while Clint pulsed feelings of bitterness. Maybe it was better not to spy on the spies, after all. Seemed kind of personal. 

As the night wound down and Coulson began making it clear they had to leave, you walked them back up to the flight deck and shook hands with each agent as they passed by back into the jet. Coulson of course, was the last to board, and held your hand for maybe a little longer than normal. There was just one small thing to resolve, you felt. “Just to be clear… I haven’t been going around town badmouthing SHIELD or anything. And the stuff with Talbot I was basically forced to do. Every opportunity I’ve been given, I’ve made it clear I don’t like the way they handled SHIELD’s downfall.” 

He let go of you and gave you a good stared own. But, when it was over, his smile was genuine. “I’ve never once questioned the integrity of your character. If you find yourself in a position where it’s easier to not stick up for us, don’t feel bad about it.” 

“It’s not about feeling bad about it.” It was about what was right and what was wrong. SHIELD handled a lot of things poorly, but they certainly were government sanctioned, no matter how hard the government wanted to throw them under a bus to get away from everything. And they certainly weren’t terrorists. 

“I know it’s not.” Saying without saying it. I trust you. He then gave you a nod. “Thanks for dinner. I’m sure we’ll be back.” 

Tony put an arm around your shoulders as he stood at your side. “Don’t get any ideas of freeloading. This was a one-time thing.” His sass earned him a little swat on the butt as you dropped your arm behind him. Something that had a surprised chuckle escaping him as he reached out for a final handshake with Coulson. 

It had been a nice evening, everything else considered. And everything else that had come before it. Tomorrow morning you’d have to make a statement in the media room about what had happened at the United Nations. You’d make it clear that you didn’t believe SHIELD was involved- because you had no idea what the spin was going to be on this. There had really never been a more obvious bait job, really, and you’d make it plain that anyone who bought into it was highly unintelligent. 

Still… both you and Tony laid awake that night. Again. As usual. Finding sleep a little hard to come by. Turning on your side, cozying up closer to him, he held his arm around you, while his other hand rested over yours on his chest. You stared across into the darkness. “...are you still planning on coming to the Tech Convention with me?” Your keynote was in a few days. And while plans had already been laid, things were getting progressively crazy. If he had to go out with the team, his time was better served there, you were sure. 

“I’m sure they’d understand if you canceled. You were attacked earlier today, if you don’t remember.” The fact that this was neither a yes or a no upset you a little. 

“I don’t get to sit around. I’m an Avenger, remember?” Not quite a normal person who might take a month off after being traumatized over and over and over and over… except for that one time very recently.

“Says who?” 

“Optics, that’s who. If I start ducking out every time someone throws a weapon at me, people are gonna start getting bold.” Showing that kind of weakness- saying to the world that it could count you out after every incident, big or small… that would really embolden a lot of people that didn’t need that sort of power. 

A sigh escaped him, one you found yourself unconsciously mirroring without a second thought. He scooped your hand up, lifting so that he could press a kiss to the back. Then to the side. Then turning to press one to your palm. Holding there for a few seconds. Then, “I’ll go with you. It’s in a few days, right? Just a little speech on a stage. You’re good at those.” 

“Just a little speech on a stage.” You assured him, half leaning up on your arm. Moving your hand from his, you brushed his hair back and then cupped his cheek in your palm, easing in just a little more to press a kiss to his lips. “Thank you.” 

“I love you.” A murmur around another small touch of lips. “How’s the pain?” 

You hadn’t expected him to ask this, catching you by surprise just for a second. “It’s better. I’m okay now. I think.” He was probably trying to feel out what was going on with you- it would be a blessing to know. But you had no idea, either. And… right now you really didn’t want to talk about it. Even if it was better to do so. So, very plainly, you asked, “Can we not talk about that right now?” 

The way he was looking up at you, gazing at you, watching you closely- it eased you, but the small trickle of ache from him nearly broke you down. You were grateful when he clamped down on it, most likely knowingly so, and nodded. “Sure, honey.” 

You didn’t want to talk about anything, in fact. And let him know, as another kiss melted into something deeper. Then you let him take the lead and ousted both your troubles elsewhere for the night so that you could focus on each other. If you hadn’t healed up already, you were sure his intimacy and care- the love that rocked you through to your core would have fixed every other problem. 

                                                     ---

Tony stood by your side as you read a prepared statement for the press the next morning about the attack on the United Nations. You made sure to emphasize that you did not believe the people who attacked the building and killed people were SHIELD agent leftovers. And made doubly sure to let the people know, although vaguely, that the matter was being handled and their true identities would be discovered. 

You spoke about the loss of Italy’s representative, Dioli, and the several other lives lost that day. How it weighed on you, but how they would not have died in vain. You then very briefly discussed your new position as Enhanced Forces Ambassador and let the press know there would be more in the coming months about that position. 

Questions came in hot and heavy and you took only a few. Nothing too damaging or hard to answer. All in all a pretty easy press conference to get through despite the matter that was being discussed. 

Tony also stood right by your side a few days later when you took the center stage at the NYC Tech Convention to talk about Stark Industries’ new Intellicrops, and how they were getting closer to debut. Your scientists had been hard at work, as always, to try and better the world through technology. Most of their design was focused on making genetically modified seeds that would plant and thrive in soil hard to grow in. Land that was otherwise too dry or too polluted would not hold them back, and therefore many different types of landscapes could be converted to lush fields that would help feed people in need. 

One of the many ways that Stark Industries had been trying to work for the betterment of all mankind, to be sure, something you were not shy in underlining. After you were done with your presentation, you stepped aside to actually let the people who worked on the project speak on it. 

He took you to a very lovely private dinner that night. And, for once, it was nice to remember what it was like to just do this job, and not worry so much about the far bigger world saving things. A life where it was just you and Tony. Smiling across a table from each other, bathed in candlelight, while stocks soared. That kind of life. That was nice. 

The following Sunday was unremarkable. The team was scattered for non-work related reasons. Even they liked to live their lives when they were able to, and when there were no current missions on the docket. Tony was in the lab with Bruce, because if he wasn’t working or with you, or he wasn’t working with the Avengers, that was the next place you could find him. 

You’d stepped out in the afternoon for a coffee and thought you might grocery shop a little. Restock the kitchen. Happy offered to drive you, something you gratefully took him up on. But it was just after you’d left one of your favorite known-unknown cafes that you kind of wished you’d asked Tony for an escort instead. Because it was the one time he wasn’t with you that it seemed like it would have mattered. 

Jessica Jones was standing a single foot away from you as you left the shop. Hands in her pockets. Casting hot anger and bitterness upon you in droves. “We need to talk.” 

You held yourself tight as you stared her down. “What do you want from me now?” Was she there to tell you you hadn’t done the right thing, again? To guilt you? To provoke you? 

“Killgrave’s alive.” 

There was a sudden ringing in your ears that drowned out her angry muttering as your coffee slipped from your hands and splattered on her jeans and boots. It was hard to tell if you were breathing or not. A noise that held no form escaped you. One of equal parts panic and dismay. But it got your point across pretty well as she looked up at you again.

Fuck.

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 126

The best thing to do for her now was take her home and put her to bed, so that’s what Tony did. He’d actually had reservations at one of their favorite spots, but what she needed was to be somewhere comfortable. She needed to rest. He didn’t want to put more pressure on her, but her spiraling like she was had consequences that went beyond herself. He was sure she knew. They didn’t need to talk about it. He just needed to be strong enough to wade through it with her and get her back to a place of semi-normal. And until then… she needed to be in bed. Away from everyone else. It was why he went straight to the private elevators, arm around her tight, guiding her. Not leaving her side until he’d taken her all the way into the bedroom. While he’d wanted to see her actually put to bed, knowing she could use it, when she sat down and put her head in her hands, she mumbled something about taking a shower. 

It chipped away at him, seeing her like this. Wanting to fix it immediately but not having the resources yet to do so. He’d make this better. He would. Kneeling in front of her, he helped her out of her heels. “You want me to stay?” The obvious thing to do- to start making this better- was to head straight down to the labs and start working. But she was a wreck. And he didn’t want to leave her, if she thought she needed him in the immediate area. 

He could tell she was trying to put on a brave smile. Tight and worn as she looked down at him. They held that gaze for a moment as she reached over, touching the tips of her fingers across his forehead. The action felt like it soothed them both. It was a question for another day, how he’d become so tangled with her… her voice was drawn when she found it. “I’ll be alright. If you have something to do, go ahead.” 

“Nothing more important than you.” Trying to make her understand. All of this really boiled down to one simple fact. He could make grandiose gestures of justice all day for the rest of his life. He could employ Iron Man and the Avengers to save the world every other week. He could try to protect earth with his dying breath but in the end… 

Looking at her now, holding her hands against his face as she’d touched down to hold the sides of his jaw in her palms… he sunk into her. Basked in the feeling of being here with her and for her. This was all for her. He needed her to be safe. He needed her to be more than okay. He wanted her to thrive. He wanted her to live and be happy. And they just… they weren’t there. Nowhere near it. 

The thought left him softly, “I love you.” Holding her as she still held on to him, eyes closing for just a moment. She’d been there as much as she could when he’d been having troubles- and still was, but almost nothing compared to what she was now being tortured by. She had the literal weight of the world on her shoulders so suddenly. While everyone else was content to sit in conference rooms and argue about the merits of right and wrong she went to work.

For them. 

She suffered. 

For them. 

Her voice wasn’t all there when she answered him. “I love you, too, Tony.” A balm for the soul. His, in fact. Because nothing made him feel better than hearing her say  those words. He tried on a smile for her, and felt better when she found an easier one to shine back at him. “If I need you I’ll call. I promise.”

Giving him permission to leave her side to go work on some lofty dream of getting them anywhere near normal. One thing had become very clear. They had to get out soon. The goals they’d laid out at the end of five years were in jeopardy, so she thought, and five years was inching closer, and the longer they didn’t get out the more they lost the chance at them. He had to finish this. Or else… 

He gave her a nod. “Alright.” Shifting up, one hand on the bed, he leaned in just to press a kiss to her forehead. Lingering there for maybe a little too long. Hoping being near to her imparted the same sort of calm he always felt with her, when he found himself in moments like this. She was already dealing with enough, he really should have just let her be. But as he stood in the doorway and watched her shrug out of her jacket and unbutton her shirt, he hated himself for calling her attention again. “Honey?” 

She looked up at him. “Yeah?” 

Because it was her, he had to hold himself emotionally steady. A hard enough thing to do when he had felt his heart slamming against his chest the entire ride home. Even worse now, as she looked up at him with those big, soft eyes of hers. Waiting. He had a split second to decide whether or not to leave it alone, and… “Earlier today- I’ve been thinking about it- you said Banner and I already found the scepter once. Were you thinking of the Tesseract?” 

It had been circling his brain angrily ever since it had come out of her mouth. And he’d had a long chat with Bruce about it, too. Though they’d both agreed at the table, he was worried about her sudden revision of history. She seemed confused, a cloud took over her eyes. Then she seemed a little flush with embarrassment. “I guess I was, yeah. I’m sorry. The thing with Loki- I guess I just have them all mixed together after everything that happened.” 

He understood that. Like some ugly mass. All inseparable. All part of the same thing. It made sense, but… 

She suddenly seemed sad. “Did I make things harder for you and Bruce? I’m sorry.” 

Quickly he shook his head. “Nah. We’re fine. Don’t worry about it.” At least this was  the truth. They had more than enough data to work with. “It’s a lower level of emission with the gamma pulses, but we should still be fine enough to start tracking it.” He played at casual with a shrug and crossed his arms. “Anyway. Seriously. Don’t worry about it. Just relax. When you’re ready for dinner just let me know.” A hot shower and a nice meal would probably do her some good. And a long night’s sleep. And taking the rest of the month off. If she would let herself. 

Her smile eased him at least a little. “Okay. I love you.” He never got tired of hearing her say that. It always drove a warmth so deep in his chest. 

He couldn’t help his smile. “I love you, too.” Truer, he was sure, every time he said it. 

With that he left the bedroom, and gave Dvahli with a stern warning that she better stop lounging and go curl up and provide some much needed cat love in his absence. Something he was sure the cat understood, as she lifted herself off of the coffee table (a place she wasn’t even supposed to be) and slinked her way past him and into the bedroom. Feeling pretty sufficient that she would be okay, he hit the button to call the elevator and got himself back down to the lab. 

Bruce was in their private section, set up and working on a handful of things. Though he looked up as Tony entered. “Short date night?” 

Tony sighed. “No date night.” And, deciding to be candid, he dropped himself onto one of the work stools and looked over at him. “She’s rubbed a little raw. Ellis has her on some council overseeing enhanced individuals as far as the United Nations is concerned.” At least that’s what Tony thought he got out of her weeping explanation of what had happened. He’d need to talk to her a bit more coherently about it later. When she was better. 

But this put a pause in Bruce. “That sounds… bad.” Then he quickly held a hand up. “Not that- not that I think she can’t handle it. She’s probably the best person for that job. But…” 

“Yeah. Sounds like we’re heading for a disaster.” Agreeing. Agreeing easily because that’s what had turned her so completely upside down like that. This spelled a lot of trouble. It was a bandaid, at best. “All the more reason to try and figure out this Ultron project now, wouldn’t you agree?” Forcing a grin. 

“We’ve got a few things more pressing than that fantasy, I think. Speaking of… did you ask her about…” Lowering his voice as if he was scared they were being eavesdropped on. 

“Yeah. I did.” Taking a breath he crossed his arms. “She said she’s just kind of wrapped all that Loki stuff up together. Pretty much what I figured.” 

Bruce’s eyes lowered. “Yeah. Alright. What about the... other thing?” 

A heaviness settled over the room. Tony’s heart ached. “Not right now. Besides. We don’t even have all the data yet.” 

“You can’t put it off forever, Tony.” 

“Not forever.” They both shared a look. But one Tony’s eyes dropped from. In partial guilt. “Just not right now.” 

Bruce frowned but nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Understood.” A long sigh left him. “Well. In that case. You wanna pick up where we left off?” 

Brushing past all that, Tony lurched off his stool and went over to Bruce’s workstation. “You read my mind.” Pulling a few holograms off the tabletop and into the air, “Ready to wrap on VERONICA?” 

“One less thing to worry about, I suppose.” 

                                                    ---

Someone was calling your name, you were sure. Except it didn’t sound like your name. The shape was different. But it was surely your name. 

You were hot. So hot you thought you might catch fire any moment. You had no idea where you were. Seemingly, maybe, nowhere. Just a deserted existence underneath a vast sky. There were noises. Too many. Hard to pick any single one out- except the cry of a name that was yours but wasn’t yours. And then, when you focused, still more screams yet in a language you didn’t know. Cries of pain. Sounds of… war? Attacks? Metal on metal on flesh. People you loved were dying- And then- 

Then you awoke in a sheen of heavy sweat and even heavier breathing. In bed in the penthouse. Your home. Safe, but panicking. The bed was empty, which made panicking that much easier to do. Flinging the covers aside you half fell to the floor on your hands and knees, trying to even out your breathing but failing hard. It felt like a great weight was bearing down on you. Your chest was seizing. You couldn’t breathe in here. 

It powered your limbs into flight, pushing yourself to stand, falling into the bedroom door and then wrenching it open, stumbling out into the living room where Tony was drenched in the light of his holotop table. Your sudden appearance and bumbling around startled him- he was calling you- your name- your actual name- along with a few, “Honey-”s thrown in. But you kept barreling forward towards the deck. And once you pulled the sliding glass door open, you fell out on hands and knees just trying to breathe. 

The air up there so high froze you to your core- more so was the steely downpour of icy rain as it soaked you, but it at least was refreshing in a punishing sort of way. But it wasn’t really helping, as your fingers clawed into expensive rooftop flooring and tears streamed past your lashes. Tony was there in another moment in a half kneel, one arm around you, his other hand holding an umbrella over the both of you- murmuring something. Words. But you felt the easy, recognizable heat of affection and worry in the place of actual understanding. 

Eventually the sound of his voice evened out past your ears and short strings of sentences actually started to hold meaning as he carried you through remembering how to breathe. Remembering that you were there, with him. Safe. And okay. Things your body and mind had forgotten in the flight of extreme panic. When all was said and done you found yourself thoroughly petered out, on your hands and knees bent so far forward your head was pressed against the floor of the deck, Tony’s hand sweeping up and down along your spine in long, slow passes. 

He was shivering, same as you, still speaking, but it was more the cadence of his low voice that helped the rest of your cognizance gather. Your shame was swift and just as punishing. “I’m sorry…” And, just like the child you felt like, as you sat up, you wiped your tears and snot on the back of your sleeve. Very dignified. 

“I’m the last person you need to apologize to.” Careful with you, as always, as he settled a hand on the back of your head, cradling the umbrella at the juncture of his shoulder so he could move his other hand to yours, helping you steady yourself as the both of you knelt there. 

“I was dreaming- having a nightmare-” Correction easy. No dream would have sent you in a spiral even as you laid there unconscious. Your hand raised up, absently clutching at your chest where you felt the painful heave of your heart. Hesitancy swirled around Tony as you lifted your head and looked at him. Perhaps unsure whether or not to let you go on. When he was quiet just long enough, “I think it was about my parents.” 

A sliver of guilt cut through the air between the both of you. Even in all your time together, you and Tony had never talked about your parents. Met with a vicious and violent ending. Your past- by design. Yours. You’d never wanted to. And you were sure some part of him respected and understood that. But still, you had always assumed… tucked away in police files and permanent records… something accessible that he had looked into. Probably around the time of your hiring. 

Due diligence some would call it. Others might call it snooping. 

Either way, it must have been stolen knowledge that knocked a piece of regret loose. Because now you were struggling, and he wasn’t sure how to bring up his own understanding without revealing his hand. All these years later. 

But his feelings were weighing you down, killing you while you were still too raw. So you dropped a shaking hand to his knee and let your head fall forward. “It’s okay.” I know you know. 

This only seemed to hurt him worse, but he put himself aside. He was not important just then. He swallowed hard. “...why now?” Instead opting to try and push forward to do whatever it took to help you. 

A very valid question. Some terrible tragedy that you’d been insistent on not being the foundation for your entire life. Not being the reason people felt sorry for you constantly. Not being the reason you were handed things, or looked at differently. Something you wanted… terribly to move on from. “I don’t know.” Voice shaky, when you found it, still sniffling. “Maybe it’s just the stress…” Trying to reach for any conclusion to make it not appear worse than it was. 

Just brain garbage all vomiting up all at once underneath immense distress. Sure. That made sense. 

“Well… what’d’you know…” Steadying himself a little. Realizing too little too late, as you always did, that your anxiety had infected him. But that he’d struggled to keep it together for you. His smile was tight as you looked up at him. “Great time for a vacation, wouldn’t you say?” 

You aimed your weakest smile back at him, something that lasted all of two seconds before you shifted over, coming in closer to just collapse into him. Pressing your hands at his chest and hiding your face in his shoulder. He was warm, even out here in the freezing rain. And perhaps you stayed there a little too long, because eventually he spoke again. 

“...you alright to go back inside?” Worried, still. And gentle. At your wordless nod, he moved into a small crouch, reclaiming the umbrella in one hand, sticking his other out close to yours. With such ease he helped you back to your feet, though in that moment the loss of energy became easily recognizable. “Do you want to go back to bed?” 

...even still. Tired as you were… “No. Can I just… I don’t want to bother you-”

“You never bother me.” 

“-...can I just. Sit with you? While you work?” 

His hand lifted a little higher up, settling at the back of your head again, bringing you in close so he could press a kiss to your hair. “Of course.” 

After a fresh change of dry clothes you snuggled up on the couch closest, and Dvahli was close behind, turning into a little vibrating ball of purrs in your lap. You picked at some warmed up dinner that you’d ignored earlier, and felt grateful for a steaming cup of earl gray all while Tony used you as a sounding board for a project he was just finishing up on. 

You’d been aware of the Hulk Buster armor that he and Bruce had been devising as a worse case scenario. But it was a true testament to how busy you’d let yourself become that it was now in its final stages. Comfortable and content, you drifted off just around the time Tony was detailing the AI- 

VERONICA. Tony swore up and down it stood for something… Very. Experienced. Reconnaissance. Operation. Nested. Inside. Cached… Drifting- had he said- Atmosphere? Automaton? Getting harder to remember by the second...

But. There was a telling hint of amusement that told you it was some sort of inside joke that you both weren’t privy to and weren’t awake enough to get. Even so… 

You remembered the curve of his voice and the beauty of his smile, the way he looked awash in holographic lights as you dozed off. Only disturbed briefly a little later as he turned you to lie down and tucked you in. Not sending you back to the bedroom alone- something else, even in your hazy half-unconscious state you were intensely grateful for. 

Just to have him near… 

                                                   ---

He protected you, when various members of the team came to call during business hours. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing for you to be hiding, especially not with what was ahead. But. It helped to clear your mind, not having to deal with any of that stuff. The reprieve would be short. Intensely short. March would be soon. 

Even shorter than you knew, as you sat in the back portion of a cafe, Happy on security detail. Just trying to pretend like you were normal and that you were enjoying life. A newspaper out front had caught your attention. The New York Bulletin’s detailing of how a masked marauder by the name of Daredevil had brought down Wilson Fisk. 

Just as you were finishing the article- some very juicy stuff about Fisk’s pretend good-man initiative turning out to be a money-laundering scheme involving lots of mafia moves and drugs- Happy approached your table. “Sorry to bother you.” 

You smiled up at him. “Don’t worry about it. What’s the matter?” 

He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Some guy wants to speak with you. Normally I wouldn’t break protocol but…” Protocol being that you were here enjoying coffee and a pastry like a normal citizen. And that you were technically on a sabbatical. So no one was to disturb you.

Shifting in your seat you tilted to see a very unassuming man standing at the front of the cafe. Dressed in a very beat up looking suit. He looked a little beat up himself. Dark glasses on. Cane in his hand- not just any cane. One of the ones used for the visually impaired to help see where they were going. You waved Happy in closer. “Not to be… I’m not trying to be rude…” Dropping your voice. “Is he blind?” 

“I think so, yeah.” 

“Then how does he know I’m here?” The only reason you cared about it. 

Happy seemed momentarily stunned. “Oh. I didn’t uh…” Didn’t think about it, is what he meant. 

You watched as the man in question smiled briefly with a shake of his head. Almost as if he’d heard you. Deciding that again coincidences weren’t a thing in your reality, you acquiesced. “Alright. Let him over.” 

With the order given, Happy gave a nod and then slowly walked back over to the man. They had a brief exchange and then the man walked your way. No assistance necessary. When he stopped at your table, you looked up at him. He was still smiling. “Thanks for letting me through your security, ma’am.” 

“You’re welcome. How can I help you?” 

“My name is Matthew Murdock. Of Nelson and Murdock.” Reaching his free hand up, he very obviously pretended to fumble around, patting his jacket down. “I thought I had a card…” 

You put an end to the charade. “And what can I do for you, Matthew Murdock of Nelson and Murdock?” 

Without the same act of grasping around, he reached out for the chair nearest and took a seat. “I wanted to say thank you. To you and Stark.” 

Unable to help yourself, your eyebrow arched. “Thank you for what?” 

His lips were a bitter twist of a grin. “We don’t have to play pretend. No one’s listening.” 

“I don’t know who you are.” Said about as honestly as you could. 

“Sure you don’t.” Grinning still. 

Tipping your head, “I don’t. ...you’re making it a little too obvious now but. I didn’t when you walked up.” Not needing to be fantastic at deduction for this. It was clear. This was the man in black. Or, now Daredevil, as the media was calling him. 

He sat there in silence for a moment until a small ripple of astonishment touched him. Either trusting your truth or… perhaps sensing you were indeed being honest. Well. Tony had pegged him as enhanced. You wondered in which ways. “...you really didn’t.” Seemingly pretty floored by this revelation. “But Stark-”

“Tony does, yes. I told him I didn’t want to know. Because I figured that was none of my business.” Being straight with him. “Or anyone else’s, for that matter.” 

“Stark didn’t seem to feel that way.” Just a tiny touch of agitation. You couldn’t blame him, really. 

But even so. “Tony is… he’s heavy-handed, when he thinks he’s being pushed against a wall. Fisk threatened us, so he started digging. You were probably just a pleasant surprise.” Defending Tony. As always. You sighed. “Even so. It’s wrapped up now, I just read. So. The data will get vanished. You have my word. ...and good work, by the way.” 

His smile was a little more friendly, after only a few bare seconds of consideration. “Well. Then that’s double the gratitude.” He reached out, aiming to shake your hand but his direction was a little off. 

You studied him. “...does the blind act work on everyone?” It was clear he could see. ...right? Or had you just said something utterly awful with no regard? He’d picked up that chair like he’d seen it. He’d seen you through a window, probably. He’d walked over to your table with no help of direction. 

Apparently you surprised him just a little, because a short laugh escaped him. “Worked on your goon.” 

“Happy is not a goon and if you insinuate so again I’ll have you thrown out.” Half-joking. ...maybe a quarter. You wouldn’t let anyone talk about Happy like that. But your nervousness got the better of you. “You aren’t really blind, right?” ...god you hoped not or else you would be just about the biggest asshole in existence right then.

“Can’t imagine how that would look. CEO of Stark Industries throws blind man out of a public cafe.” It was your giggles that turned his own laughter back out. He was a surprisingly pleasant person, when his entire world wasn’t being threatened and he wasn’t playing tough. Maybe he thought the same of you, because there was a light thrum of ease and enjoyment that he was otherwise trying to hide. Maybe just because he was making you sweat a little, as he’d sidestepped your question. Thankfully, when his chuckles died down, “Yes. I am blind.” 

You considered this. He wasn’t lying, but… “But you see in other ways. -not the general ways that come with being blind.” Going in full here. This was assuming a lot. 

“You’re very astute.” But you were rewarded for your boldness. 

Unable to help your smile, “I have to be when I accuse a blind man of not being blind. Huge PR disaster otherwise.” 

A softer noise of amusement left him but then he started nodding. “Yeah. Well. Please accept my gratitude. For everything.” 

“I didn’t do anything.” Assuming he was thanking you for whatever Tony had given him. “If you want to thank Tony, he likes sunflowers. And will only accept grand gestures, I assure you.” 

He stood, helping himself to his feet with one hand on his cane, the other he extended again. Straighter this time. “You did more than you think.” 

Giving him a firm shake you decided not to fight this. “Whatever you say. But. I’m serious about the sunflowers.” 

Matthew laughed again with a drop of his head. “I’m a little strapped for cash right now but I’ll try my best.” 

“I’ll order them for you in that case.” 

“Well now you’re just putting me in debt.” 

“Don’t be scared to stop by the Avengers Tower. We can discuss how much you owe.” While you didn’t know much about him yet, he seemed amicable and definitely like someone you wanted to keep around. 

“I have a lot of cleaning up to do of my own personal life if you don’t mind, and Hell’s Kitchen needs someone, too after this mess. But… if I ever decide to be less local, I’ll think about it.” 

Before he could turn and walk away you allowed a little bit of seriousness to enter. “Sometimes it’s not about being local, Matthew. Sometimes it’s just about needing people like us to do what’s right when no one else can.” 

His back was turned to you, and he went quiet. Thinking about this. It was almost a little surprising when he nodded. But it all died when he smiled again and instead of speaking on any of that, instead offered, “Call me Matt.” 

Whether he could see it or not, you smiled back. “It was nice meeting you, Matt.” 

“You, too.” 

He took one of your clouds with him, as you realized… you now had one less thing to worry about. 

How nice. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 120

Your year of 2015 started on a Thursday. Though Stark Industries had allowed its employees to take a long weekend off- understanding in that they’d probably been up drinking and partying up late on the Wednesday night before (as had you), it didn’t mean you had the day off. ...although, much like the rest of the world, it started a little late. A nice sleep in, and then a much nicer intimate good-morning with Tony. Perhaps things weren’t so bad. 

After a long luxurious hour spent in each other’s close attentions, you ended up atop him, straddling his hips, his hands kneading at your own while you slid down on your forearms at the sides of his head. A slow kiss half broken by uneven panting eventually led to smiles and brushes of noses. And then, when you could find a thought, “I think I’m going to go for a run.” Yet even as you managed to work the thought out you were still semi-caught up on him. 

“Not enough exercise for you? I could remedy that.” Grinning against your lips, rocking up in such a way that earned a hitched, warm gasp from you. 

But, determined to not fall victim to his charm, you tilted down, nuzzling one of the bright red patches of skin on his neck. Your wonderful handiwork. “You’re insatiable.” Just a fact. 

He huffed out half a laugh. Turning his head to find the shell of his ear, he worked his lips over in a light touch before murmuring in such a tone you couldn’t help but shiver, “Only for you.” 

“Lucky me.” Middling now, trying to decide if you were going to let him win. 

“We’re in agreement, then.” Hearing the victory in his voice right before he grabbed your hips a little tighter and threw his weight just enough to roll you. Onto your side first, as giggles left without your permission, and then repositioning so he could kneel atop you, knees at your sides, hands just above your shoulders. 

Looking up at him, you just couldn’t help but get lost. He was so beautiful in the morning light. Eyes sweet and dark, tug of that handsome grin on his lips, the light sheen of perspiration. Your hands reached up, palming over his chest, the lean muscles there, and then smoothed out over to his arms, gripping lightly at his biceps, flexing as he held himself over you. “I love you.” Completely unable to help yourself in saying so. 

He eased in a little more, nose touching yours, lips just there. “I love you.” Then another amused noise. “You look like you’re admiring a piece of art.” 

Your own grin was very wide. “What a self-serving compliment.” 

“I’m not hearing a disagreement.” Delicate arch of his brow. 

Letting go of a little hum, you moved your hands inward to paw lightly at his chest. “Well. In that case… if I’m caught… it’s true. You are gorgeous.” 

It was a rare shade on Tony, blushing- that ripple of shyness. Not having expected you to agree, perhaps waiting on a rebuff. But instead… “Is that so?” Still trying to play at that overconfident ego.

“Mnhmn.” A little lull as your fingers touched up along the sides of his neck, bringing him that bare space down closer to kiss him. Lightly, only for a few seconds. “You’re terribly handsome. Sometimes I just can’t help myself from staring.” Eyes blinking open to watch him mull all this over. Conflicted. Your smile was steady. “Have I ever told you-” Hands moving further still to touch just over his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. “Your freckles drive me absolutely crazy?” A light dusting, but they were there- if one was close enough to see them. 

Which, thankfully, you were. His head ducked a little, pressing against yours, grinning perhaps a little helplessly. “Alright, now you’re just looking for points.” 

“I’m just being honest. And- oh- speaking of honest-” Deciding to help him out, as he was growing ever more flustered. Maybe, perhaps, unused to being on the receiving end of something like this. Moving your hands all the way down and around, you shifted just a little up, so that you could grab two wonderful handfuls of his ass, squeezing hard enough to get a just slightly delighted yet surprised sounding noise from him. “Your ass is amazing. I need you to start teaching me your squat technique.” 

Laughter dropped out of him, half embarrassed- “What’s gotten into you?” 

“Well- since we’re not going for a run- hopefully you. Since you offered.” Sharing in the sweet sound of morning giggles with him as he dipped in to press those laughs against your lips in an incomplete kiss. 

“You’re only teaching me I can talk you out of exercise with sex, you know.” 

“As long as it’s a good sex-workout.” Hands on the move again, only so you could wind your arms around his neck, smile pressed against his. 

“I can manage that. Good- why not great?” 

“I like the sound of that.” A hum as you drew him in for a deeper kiss. And then, when you could speak again, “I know you won’t disappoint me.” 

“Never.” Already getting lost in each other again. 

Just the way you liked your mornings.

                                                     ---

It was a morning just like that one, a few weeks later- at least this time you’d actually made it for a run. One that, nice enough, Tony had joined you on. And, as you came home, he also very nicely joined you in a cool-down shower. That needed its own cool-down shower after it. Insatiable indeed. 

But it was just as you were sitting down for lunch in the kitchen that Pepper dinged you. Pulling a tablet closer, you opened a video window for her with a smile. “Working on the weekend?” 

“Hardly.” She grinned back at you. “You know I like my downtime. I just thought I’d send this your way.” An email pinged just in time and you scrolled over to open it, receiving a screenshot she’d attached. 

Darren Cross on Google+ of all things was spouting some nonsense. You read it aloud, spying Tony half turning from the oven to try and listen in. “Technology will never be the same. Pym Tech is working on a historic project that will change the technological landscape. Shame StarkIndustries has no interest in sharing this future.” You couldn’t hold back a sigh. “Do we even have an up Google+ account?” He’d tried to @-attach the company, but there was no link. 

“Uh- excuse me-” Tony flipped a burner off, settling the back of his hand on his hip as he turned fully. “Did my former PR person just ask what social media accounts we own?  Because I have a major problem with that.” Teasing you, obvious with the grin he served it with. 

Still, since he was questioning your prowess- and possibly insinuating you’d grown lazy, you shot a dry look his way. “I imagine we have a locked dormant account so nobody can pick up the username, but what I’m asking is if we have someone on it. Because… seriously… Google+?” And Darren had self proclaimed to be a rival of Stark Industries. What a joke. 

Tony turned back to his pan. “Next time tell me to shut up before I make myself look bad.” 

“But how will you ever learn then?” Smiling sweetly at him and then looking back at Pepper’s chat window, where she was trying to hide her laughter. “Just ignore him. He got caught red-handed trying to peep into our labs on New Year’s. He’s just trying to annoy me.” 

She put her chin in her palm. “Is it working?” 

“Well you called me on a Saturday, so…” 

A look of mock-offense bloomed over her face as she put a hand to her chest. “Oh. Well my apologies then, your majesty. I thought it was worth looking at. You know the media is going to be all over it.” 

You couldn’t help a little giggle. “Apology accepted. And- yeah. That’s what he wants. But we’ll just ice him and I’m sure eventually he’ll go back to leaving well enough alone.” 

“Has ignoring anyone ever worked out for us?” Tony wondered loudly from his spot at the stove. Very apropos, no doubt. 

The next sigh left whether or not you wanted to. “Yeah. ...alright. Keep an eye on him, Pep. Quietly. Don’t engage. But just-” 

“Make sure he’s not up to something insidious? I’ll put him on my list. My long, long, long list.” 

You put your hands together. “Thank you, Pepper. You’re doing all the hard work.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Giving you a wave before she disconnected the call. 

Tony came around just as you pushed the tablet away, setting down a plate in front of you. A perfectly sliced and put together BLT. “He knows we can release the footage of him trying to break into our labs, right?” 

“He was probably counting on us retaliating. It’ll start a dialogue, even if it’s negative. Better not to give in to him. We’ll let him stamp his feet and make a fool of himself and then, if we want, we can pretend to take pity on him. If it’s convenient for us.” Tilting your head up, you switched gears. “Thanks for lunch.” 

Settling a hand on the back of your chair he leaned in to press a light kiss to your lips. “You’re welcome.” Another kiss, and then, “You remind me more every day why it’s not a good idea to mess with you. It’s scary. In a hot way.” 

Your nose crinkled, a giggle escaping. “It’s a shame nobody else wants to learn that lesson.” 

A happy little miaow jingled from just underneath the table and Tony turned his attention away, bending down to pick up the vibrating ball of fuzz that was a misbehaving Dvahli. “Is it lunch time, Li? You want some bacon?” In a lilt of a singsong tone.

“You’re teaching her to beg for scraps.” Tone making it clear you were very dissatisfied. 

He walked back to the counter with her tucked in his arm. “Oh. We’re way past teaching.” Setting her down, he waggled a crispy piece just in front of her. “Bacon?” She did a good enough job of standing on her back paws to try and claw at it.

If they weren’t so cute you might have made a bigger fuss about it. 

                                                    ---

A few days later, just as you were returning from a late lunch meeting- sandwiched in between a personal calendar meeting (getting a little anxious seeing how packed your year was already becoming), just as you sat down at your desk, Pepper poked her head in the door. “Do you have a minute?” 

“I have about fifteen seconds. What’s up?” Waking your computer up while waving her in at the same time. You had a phone call soon- she knew that. So this was probably important. 

Coming in, and closing the door behind her, she held a sticky-note on her finger. “WHiH called- they want a quote.” 

“And you told them no.” Not looking at her as you quickly sorted through a few emails, trying to find something for the next meeting. A new one came in- something from Maria for Damage Control about new hires. It had to be added to the list.

“It wasn’t from Christine.” 

“That whole network’s goal is to try and take down Stark Industries, it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t Christine.” Not getting vexed yet- Pepper knew better than this. But then… 

“The guy said they’re finishing up a report about the crime rates dropping in New York City- comparing them with other places… and saying they’re going to credit the Avengers. They wanted a soundbyte.” 

Your hands paused in their furious typing. Only to look up at her for a moment. “That’s a trap.” 

She frowned. “Maybe they wanna turn over a new leaf? I haven’t heard anything about Christine in a while…” 

“That’s a trap.” Doubling down. 

“Alright. Fine. Let’s assume it is. How? How could that turn into something bad? Seems like good free press. And a good chance to start patching relations after that outburst.” Crossing her arms loosely. 

You couldn’t help the face you made at her. “I don’t care about them. Or what our public relations looks like in regards to them. This is a trap- they want me to pat myself on the back? Just so something bad can happen and they’ll turn around and talk about how I’m an asshole and so high up on my horse I’m not seeing the bigger picture-” 

“Okay- alright. No quote.” Stopping your tirade. She turned to go but before she did, “It was about the Avengers, you know. Not you.” 

This struck you in a weird way. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know it’s not. But. ...not everything- not everyone is always coming after you alone.” 

“Even more reason not to talk to them, if they’re trying to bring down the whole team.” You weren’t really sure you liked what she was implying. ...it was your job to be overly defensive. Not just for yourself… “Are we okay here, Pepper?” Asking her honestly. 

She nodded. “Yeah. We’re okay.” 

                                                    ---

The other shoe dropped a little more than a week later. You’d come home from too many meetings to find Tony had coaxed the team together for dinner. Although he assured you it had been your idea, you couldn’t really remember. You certainly hadn’t scheduled a team dinner- but, maybe he meant in a broader sense… 

It really didn’t matter. It was the thought that counted. And having everyone together in the same room was nice, especially after Steve had been gone for so long- and then you’d immediately gotten very busy. Maria tried to take up a few minutes of your time to sidebar and talk about work. An idea that you entertained until Tony broke the both of you up with firm admonishment. 

“And you say I work too much.” 

Was it really too much to ask, that a night like this could just be normal? That this could be your normal? The universe seemed to think so. Just as everyone’s drinks had been refreshed and Clint was in the middle of a story about how someone on fifth Ave nearly knocked his bike over in the road, JARVIS killed everyone’s good time. 

At least he apologized first. “Sorry for the interruption. Four simultaneous bombings have just been reported in Hell’s Kitchen.” 

Everyone immediately went into high alert. You jumped to your feet, going over to turn a tablet on the wall. “What buildings went down?” Who was up to what now? 

Four coordinates lit up on a map. “Warehouse buildings. All owned under shell corporations.” 

Tony stepped aside you, keying in a few things, pulling files. Following trails until- “Russian mafia holdings.” 

Natasha’s voice piped up from behind you, “This seems like more of a local law enforcement thing. I think we should take a breath here.” 

Thor knocked back the rest of his drink. “Yes, I say let your people handle it. It’s not always a great honor to get involved in petty squabbles.”

Clint seemed to agree. “A little below the Avengers’ pay grade, if you ask me… getting mixed up with mafia trouble is probably not something we wanna do.” 

You half turned, looking at the group- still sitting around the coffee table. All looking at you. Steve frowned. “People could be hurt over there.”  JARVIS answered, "Emergency services are already on all four premises."

“...not that I wanna get involved…” Bruce’s hesitance drew everyone’s eyes his way. “-could be someone trying clean up the streets.” 

There were too many angles here. The buildings themselves weren’t really on the public map. They just looked like factories- mills- places the average person went to work. But what if someone knew what Tony had pulled up? Mafia stuff? Maybe Bruce was right. But, in either case- 

Natasha was also right. This seemed like… not an Avengers level threat. ...not yet anyway. It was definitely a coordinated effort. Someone was up to something. “Honey?” Tony was looking at you-

Everyone was looking at you. Waiting for you to say something. You let go of a long breath. “And WHiH just posted such a lovely article about how crime rate had gone down thanks to us.” If you could only prove those assholes had something to do with this… what a field day you’d have with that. It seemed entirely too convenient. That they’d come sniffing around with that drivel only for this to happen. Collapsing the panel on the wall you shrugged. “Alright. The cops can have it.” 

Tony put his arm around your waist. “I’m sure the mayor won’t call the red phone in your office over it.” 

A bombing was a serious thing- four bombings was even worse. Coordinated. An obvious effort to get rid of something. Or someone. Or- really- an entire organization? Someone with a lot of influence had to be behind this. Or a lot of willpower. 

You’d just have to hope they were possibly on the side of good.

But. As a wise man once said… 

It wasn’t your job to clean up everything. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 127

March came too soon. “Vacation” was over before you knew it, and you honestly weren’t sure if you were all balanced. But that didn’t really matter. The world was not going to wait. On the 7th you were scheduled to be Talbot’s personal puppy as he addressed the United Nations. On the 12th you had a keynote speech about Stark Industries’ release of the Intellicrops project at the NYC Tech Convention. And before that… 

On the 3rd and 5th, you were now reading, sitting at your office desk, the Avengers had planned raids on two suspected Hydra bases. They’d gone on one without you, at the very end of February. You already sensed the team hadn’t been happy with your decision to step away and keep away while they went out. Guilt was heavy enough, but really it was the disappointment you’d pretended not to notice as you took hold of your briefing folder on your first day back to work. 

While Tony and Bruce had had some other pressing projects to wrap up before they could start sweeping for the scepter, they couldn’t put it off forever. And, really, they shouldn’t. The team being mad at you was really nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes. What Hydra was doing with that weapon, and the hundreds other they’d stolen… you were so inconsequential compared to all that. But. If that were true… 

Then why had you spent half a month at home? You figured that was what everyone was asking themselves. Each other. Tony, even. You didn’t have an answer for them other than your own cowardice and unhealthy state. But even that was probably not enough. 

All of it had to be put aside. It was time to go back to work now. That’s why you put your CEO duties aside that morning to go over the extensive briefing of what you’d missed. Tony had secured some rogue SHIELD properties that were meant to help the team. A few Quinjets that he was making modifications to. There was also some vague mention of a building upstate for housing purposes. You recognized it as an already owned plot of land. Maybe one of Stark Industries’ old facilities? Tony hadn’t detailed it so it must have not been super important. It was being gut renovated right now. 

While Tony and Bruce had thought finding the scepter would be difficult, it apparently had been quite a challenge. Not only were Hydra now scrambling signals, probably in an effort of foresight that eventually what was left of SHIELD or the Avengers would come after that. The scepter, according to the report, already threw out low levels that were difficult to trace, and only when it was active. So all of that culminated in a few hotspots that the team then had to go check out. There was a detailed list and some intel on every base the Avengers were scheduled to go hit. 

Something you supposed you should have read without missing a detail. But something else was bothering your brain. None of these bases were on United States soil. Which… well. That was a problem. Considering your other problem that you were currently facing. 

In your extended downtime, a report had also come in from Ellis. Not too long ago. You wondered if this Enhanced Ambassadorship was all for show. He seemed not to care too much about it. Pulling you on so soon without a moment’s notice… basically telling you you had no say- and that all you had to do was sit by a general while he talked above you… none of it felt good. But what more could you do?

“LUNA, open a secure line with President Ellis.” Opening up one of the holo-windows on your desk so you could start a conference. The Avengers had already hit one base in somebody else’s country. You needed to deal with this now. 

He left you on hold longer than you would have liked. But eventually his face popped up on the link and he looked nothing short of disgruntled. “This better not be about the conference next week.” Apparently so sure you were just unhappy enough to start finding your way out of things.

The truth was, of course, you were. But he must have had no sense of your loyalty for your family, if he really thought you’d start reneging now. “No. It’s about something a little more pressing.” 

“You have ten minutes.” 

“It’s... slightly related.” Admitting this, trying to ease yourself. Regain the control you used to feel in situations like this. So suddenly it had all started slipping away. When he bristled you attempted a smile. “SHIELD left a lot more mess behind than you’re aware of. Hydra made off with a lot of sensitive material.” 

This put a silence into him. A cold one of consideration. He sat forward at his desk. “How sensitive? Are we talking about-”

“Weapons. Yes, sir.” 

“...what kind of weapons?” 

“Extremely dangerous ones.” Trying to just toe the line here. Right now he didn’t exactly need to know, and you kind of wanted to test the waters on his trust of you. 

He regarded you for a long moment. “...and what do you want me to do about it?” 

“The Avengers are taking care of it.” Sitting a bit straighter in your seat, clasping your hands together lightly. 

Realization sparked in his eyes. “On foreign soil.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“You want me to authorize your people to invade countries to get this weaponry back. That’s what you called me for?” Getting just a touch angry. Probably because this was a little too coincidental, what with the meeting with the United Nations seven days away… 

“I don’t need you to authorize The Avengers to do anything. We’re going. Hydra stole United States property. The Avengers, who operate for the good of all humanity, but just happen to do so in the United States, are going to find them, apprehend them, and get it back. And I’m sure any country Hydra is found hiding inside of, with this dangerous stolen property, would be quick to denounce them. Don’t you think?” Finding your toughness and strength still holding steady after your little meltdown. Thank god. 

If you couldn’t do this what could you do? 

You shared a long gaze with the President as he considered all this. If the Avengers got caught doing this, it could have huge repercussions, of course. Foreign countries might not like that enhanced individuals were using powers on their property. But not on their citizens. On Hydra. So the both of you had to come to an agreement, now, that if your team was found out doing this that you were both sure you could talk down a country from war in only the face of bad press of not wanting to be associated with Hydra. And not wanting to look like an enemy of the Avengers. 

The ones who saved not just New York from aliens, but the world. Those ones. You were sure the team had enough good press still behind it. It had been a few years, but it was still pretty fresh. 

But Ellis had to agree on that, too. Right now. 

And, thankfully, “...I appreciate you telling me about this. I figure you could have operated in the dark.” 

It wasn’t worth telling him that the team had already gone on one mission, and had you decided the President of the United States wasn’t worth informing just this morning, nobody would have. He didn’t need to know any of that. You gave him a nod. “I’m going over the UN stuff now. I’ll be on my best behavior while I’m there.” 

“...they don’t need to know about any of what you’re doing. Nobody does right now.” Staring you down. Apprehension was easy to sense, even from so far away. Easily read on his face. “Do we understand each other?” 

Basically telling you: Don’t get caught. 

“Understood, sir.” 

                                                     ---

One terrible meeting out of the way for the day, you figured you should put your attentions into actual business things. That served you well, meetings and conferences and emails until about two PM. At that time you found yourself in the private lounge with your team (nicer than a small conference room for sure), as everyone took a seat on whatever couch was nearest them and pretended to go over their briefings while paying more attention to what had been stocked for lunch. 

It was strange, the isolation you felt. You also hoped it wasn’t on purpose. Even Tony had cozied up in a different corner of the room, perhaps absent-minded to you sitting by your lonesome as he chattered with Bruce about who knew what. But maybe you were part of the problem, too stuck in your head to notice anyone trying to pay attention to you. 

Steve took a seat beside you, startling you pretty hard. “Hey- sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

“It’s okay.” Assuring him quickly. 

He regarded you for an uncomfortable amount of time. “You alright? You seem pretty lost.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.” Easy to say as he could never comprehend just how much at this point. 

“I’m sure the feeling is mutual right about now.” 

“Listen up everyone.” Maria called everyone’s attention. Which was good. You weren’t sure how to respond to Steve. Whether to maybe find gratitude in the sameness of being overwhelmed or to feel annoyed that he was trying to compare notes. “If the raids in the next few days don’t prove successful, we’ll continue to our next two hotspots in the same on-off calendar days. According to Banner and Stark we just got a few more hits come in, so we need everyone to be prepared.” 

That would, of course, mean that the team was planning a strike on the 7th of March. And. Well… 

You stood. “I have an announcement.” Drawing all eyes your way as you moved closer to that focal point she was standing in. She stepped aside, crossing her arms. Nervousness and agitation both gripped the room. “President Ellis has basically ordered me to take the position of the United States’ Enhanced Forces Ambassador.” Already the room erupted in heated voices. “Alright- one at a time-” 

Clint was the first wise one to figure out a spot, raising his hand. So when you pointed his way, “That sounds very made up.” 

“It is.” Dry as you answered. “But the President made it up. So I don’t really have a choice.” 

Natasha half raised a hand. “Let’s say you did have a choice.” Asking what the alternatives were that had been presented to you. Trying to get all the information on this situation. As always. 

“I don’t.” Firm about this. “But if I had said no there was pretty much a threat that the President might think about disavowing us to the United Nations. Which is particularly important, considering we’re all about border crossing these days. Don’t you agree?” Not asking her specifically, sweeping a gaze around the room. 

Steve was the next one to speak. “And you have to report to him directly about all our activity now?” 

“No. That wasn’t part of the deal.” It wasn’t, so it didn’t matter if you already had done that earlier that morning.

Maria regarded you. “So what was part of the deal?” The accusatory nature of this really rubbed you the wrong way. 

You had to steady yourself to not get angry. But it wasn’t your voice that spread across the room. It was Tony’s. He spoke calmly but pointedly as he made his way slowly over to you, “The deal was she sits on a council with no authority and basically princess-waves to the United Nations to make them feel better so that we all get to stay in business. And it was either that or jail time for everyone in this room when a foreign country remembers what the word terrorist means the next time one of us gets caught on camera on their soil.” He was by your side as he let a small silence weight what he said next. “Anyone got a problem with that?” 

Steve’s eyes were down when he was the first to speak after all that. “Is that where you’ve been since last month?” 

It was hard to know what vexed him so much about your disappearance. Maybe it was that you’d chosen politics over getting, what the team considered, work done? “I really was just taking a break.” 

Thor shuffled his shoulders. “Well the time for breaks is over. The longer the scepter is in Hydra hands the more danger it poses to your planet.” 

Their disappointment in you was easily felt. Like a fresh slap. “I know. And I’m committed to getting it back. But I can’t go on the 7th. I have a meeting with the United Nations then.” 

Yet again, a flare of upset from Steve brought your eyes his way just as he opened his mouth. “Were you even gonna tell us that if we hadn’t planned for a raid then?” 

You had to clamp down. Extremely hard. Showing nothing but a meager amount of disgust as your brows knit together. “Of course I was.” How could he even ask you something like that? “But I guess since the dates got ahead of me, you’ll just have to trust that I would have.” Meeting his eyes, not glaring, just… openly regarding him. 

He was the first one to break, head dropping in a nod. “I trust you.” But there was a sore sense of guilt here that filled you almost to the brim. 

...he really didn’t trust you anymore? 

“Good.” Just a little defensively, unable to help yourself. But the way everyone in the room was staring at you… you crossed your arms, holding to yourself. “Look- guys- I don’t know what changed. We’re a team, you know? A family. I don’t like walking on eggshells around you. I’m not hiding anything. I’m trying to do what’s best for the team. Always. And if over the past few months that stopped becoming clear, then I’d like to talk about it. Because we can’t carry on this way.” Almost short of pleading with everyone in that room. “We fought aliens. I know this other stuff has been tough, but we’re tougher.” 

You couldn’t start falling to pieces over every little thing. You needed them to be with you. To come together. It couldn’t go on like this. 

It would have been entirely too much to sit in silence after going off like that, so you were intensely grateful when Natasha aimed a smile up your way. “I’ve never questioned your judgment. I’m pretty sure nobody in this room has. But. Let nobody feel free to correct me.” Her levity eased the tension pulling the room taught. 

Bruce’s voice held just a note of timid as he fumbled with his glasses in his hands. “I know SHIELD brought us in with folders and… some even with thinly veiled threats…” There was a wry smile, aimed Natasha’s way- one she reciprocated, even. Interesting. “-but. I don’t know of anyone else after the fact that put more care into what we are now. Or more work.” 

Tony held up a finger. “I’d like to request we pair the amount of work going in as a Team Stark venture.” A humorous round of boo’s hissed around the room and Clint even chucked a throw pillow Tony’s way. He scoffed. “Alright. Message received. Don’t ask me for more suit upgrades.” 

The air in the room was much warmer than when you’d sat down, and it was very nice. One less thing to worry about. Murmurs of approval seemed to be going around. While it would have been nice to hope this was the last semi-scuffle all of you got into, you doubted it. But… teams fought, right? That was normal. As long as you could just be the big adult and talk things through with them… hopefully that would be enough every time. 

                                                    ---

It was absolutely too much to ask that either mission would be the one that ended things. Too much to ask that on either of those two missions you actually found the scepter and the stolen Chitauri parts and called it a day. Too much. Neither mission ended in a critical success. But there was at least one silver lining to both. 

Getting to know how your team operated in close quarters was really a blessing in disguise. They’d found their stride on the first mission it seemed. Were able to bounce off one another with no problem, communicate with no problem. It was easy fitting into a world with this compact team. 

Before every send off, Tony and Steve would go over key details. Tony would usually brandish his knowledge about and pull bunker info and relevant entry points. And then Steve would direct the entire team where they needed to be. Once out on the battlefield things were hectic and not everything went to plan. Hydra was more than well enough equipped to try and defend themselves.

Which was telling enough. They were supposed to be a dead faction, most captured and being tried for their crimes. Yet this organization hosted multitudes of soldiers and weaponry that- while couldn’t stand up to the might of the Avengers- did a damn good job of at least defending their base for more than thirty minutes at a time. 

You learned that Bruce had been held back in the jet, agreed upon by all parties. Unless a “Code Green” went into effect. Which would mean Hulk was a necessary player on the field. On the second mission this got utilized, when a few tanks rolled up on the ground team and you and Tony were busy trying to take down a bunker shield. By the time you’d gotten back with empty hands to show for it, Natasha had ventured off to try and quell the Hulk’s anger and turn the tide. 

They had prepped- already- for what life looked like in your absence. Maybe it was for the best. You weren’t always available. You wouldn’t always be around to try and calm Hulk down. Even if you were in battle with them, there was no guaranteeing your being up to it. This was good, you told yourself. That they had all these second options. That Steve and Tony led the charge in your single absence so much so that when you sat back the next two times it just felt like… normal. 

...maybe it was good, you continued to tell yourself on the next flight back on the Quinjet. Maybe… maybe it meant that eventually they wouldn’t need you anymore in this capacity. ...hopefully they’d let go of Tony, too. Maybe. Someday. ...someday you could step away and feel good about it. Even in Ultron’s absence, although that would have helped immensely. Maybe one day… retirement wouldn’t seem so far fetched. 

                                                    ---

The morning of the 7th you saw the team off on the flight deck just before sunrise. Tony was the second to last to load in. There seemed to be no more hard feelings about you missing a raid, which was good. Because you literally could not miss this meeting. With a small pat to his chest and a kiss to his cheek, “Please find the thing.” 

His grin was weak at best. “No one wants to find the thing more than I do.” Putting an arm around you, he pulled you close for a tight half hug. “Besides, I want all the glory of bringing it home. Obviously.” 

Thor passed you both and clapped Tony so hard on the shoulder it bounced you back a little. “We can discuss glories after we’ve secured the scepter.” Boots falling hard on the up-ramp, though he seemed in a good mood despite his antics. 

Tony sighed and gave you a small shrug. “Duty calls. Dinner later?” 

“If I get through this meeting in one piece.” 

“You’ll do great.” Hands rubbing up and down your arms a few times over as if he could soothe away all your jitters. He left you with a too-short goodbye kiss. And then you watched, holding yourself still as the jet pulled up and into the sky. Your team aboard. While you… 

You had to stay behind. And get ready in a sharp suit and a clear mental state. Because this meeting wasn’t going to be easy. Even if you were expected to talk as little as possible. Media were parked out front, as always. You made sure to clip on your absolutely ridiculous EFA badge to your jacket as you stepped out onto the sidewalk of the United Nations Headquarters. Head up, ignoring the press crying your name. 

Really, it could have been a normal day. On the docket was a greeting lunch, where all these representatives like to lounge around lavishly. Eat things that were way too expensive, and no doubt gossip. You were no stranger to these environments. Really, if left alone, you probably could have excelled here far more than you would have liked. 

But as you stepped into the private lunchroom after checking in, Talbot was the first to greet you. “Good to see you, ma’am.” He seemed agreeable and in good spirits. Probably a good thing. 

“And you, sir.” Unfortunately, now that he was at your side… the swallowing of pride had to begin. “Where would you like me?” 

“Well, just between you and I, the cool kids have a table I like to sit at.” Grinning, but you weren’t actually sure if he was making a joke or not. 

You tried very hard not to visibly scrutinize him. “You have a speech prepared for later? Or are you more of an off-the-cuff kind of man?” 

He cleared his throat, adjusting his coat with all his wondrous battle-won splendors dangling upon it. “A little of both. Don’t worry. I don’t need you to speak.” 

“That’s never been clearer.” Allowing yourself a minimal amount of sass. Otherwise you might explode. 

Luckily, he seemed to let it slide. Though his slight flair of annoyance clued you in to the fact that that was probably the only one you’d get. “Come on. A lot of people want to meet you.” 

“Lucky me.” Okay. Maybe two. 

Talbot was right, though. There was a strange mix in the air, as eyes followed you around the room. Definitely at least in your favor, as most of the electricity you sensed in the air was excitement- though there were slight parts anxiousness as well. You supposed that couldn’t be helped. Until you personally made the rounds to each table and explained why you were here- it might have appeared as though an Avenger was escorting a general around the United Nations. Kind of sloppy optics but…

You hadn’t been asked for your opinion on this event or how to host it. So that’s how things went. Once you shook enough hands and people started playing the telephone game on their own, the air definitely shifted a bit more comfortably. Though you bought food and sat at the cool kid’s table, you picked at it, kind of slightly overwhelmed with a little too much. There were too many people here feeling too many things in this large yet enclosed space.

And despite the situation needing your immediate attention, your thoughts were with Tony. With the team. They’d reacted negatively at first to the thought of you being here, but you wanted to be anywhere else. A thought that had never struck you so hard until Talbot nudged you to get up because brunch time was over. Enough people had sipped at mimosas for long enough to be pliable for what was likely a boring speech. 

So now it was time to stand at General Talbot’s side while he waxed poetic about this and that. The room that they conferenced everyone into wasn’t quite as grand as the big hall. But there were still a lot of faces sitting around that long oval table, all looking up at the both of you. He stood at his podium and you simply held your hands together and did your best to tune in. Not just to him but to the feeling of the room. 

While this venture was his- was Ellis’- and therefore the United States- they’d also made it yours. And while you weren’t supposed to speak or do anything but smile your prettiest smile and agree with whatever came out of that man’s mouth, it was very important for you to know how he was holding the attention of the room. How they felt about all of this. Sure, this wasn’t what they’d hired you for. It wasn’t something they even knew. But… eventually you’d be able to use it to your benefit. Eventually you’d be able to turn this position into more than just a woman standing at a man’s side like an ornament. And that started with you feeling out the room and figuring out exactly who was on your side and who wasn’t yet. 

Talbot was talking about togetherness and unity. All buzzwords you were sure the United Nations representatives heard a lot of. Talking about his credentials. What he knew, what he was sure of. That everyone in that room wanted to protect their people. Wanted peace. In fact, the people in that room as you honed in on them were kind of… bored. This was probably a speech they’d heard a thousand times before. 

It was why you had to give props to Talbot when he reclaimed their attention with a lightning strike that buzzed around the room. “I was here in 2012. When the sky tore open, and the Chitauri rained down on us. Aliens.” The feeling in the room was absolutely aglow as all eyes turned not to him, but to you. It was much easier to sync with people who were feeding into you so intensely without their knowing. Talbot continued, “Aliens were running through the streets. 

And it was then that SHIELD revealed themselves and stood with the Avengers. Leading us to believe that we could put our faith in them. Which we did.” A slight wave of suspicion fell over more than a few members in the room. You tried to hold yourself steady, really wishing you’d been able to look at this speech before he started. “We stood idly by while they collected super-powered individuals- those we are lucky to now call allies- one of which I’m very lucky to have standing by my side today. But that does not erase the fact that they sought out these uniquely advantaged- enhanced people without anyone else’s knowledge. 

SHIELD also garnered alien weapons, they built bases on virtually every continent. We thought SHIELD was protecting us. But in truth… they took advantage of our good faith. They still are. I know this because I’ve fought with them, long after their supposed fall. We know, in fact,” nodding to you- drawing all eyes your way, “that they’re still operating. And that they still have messes yet to be cleaned up.” 

You opened your mouth- sure, your job was to sit here and let him talk shit about SHIELD. That was fine. Well. Great, even. SHIELD did terrible things that you still didn’t agree with. That you wouldn’t ever. But you couldn’t let him rope you into this. You couldn’t let him speak for you so personally. 

However, you were usurped by Italy’s representative, Adamo Dioli, taking a stand, putting his hands on the table. You’d shared less than five words with him over brunch, but he seemed smart enough. “Italy takes note of your report, General.” You honed in on him, curious as to what he was trying to get at. “Now you say that you’ve seen SHIELD- that you’ve even fought against them. But… where is the proof?” 

If this were any other meeting, you would have sided with Dioli immediately. You desperately wanted to know what Talbot knew about SHIELD in the aftermath. He seemed pretty sure of himself. But the mood in the room shifted before either Talbot or Dioli could start fighting with one another. The door in the corner of the room whipped open, bringing with it a storm. 

Before you saw anyone- you saw a weapon- flung across the room and straight into Dioli’s chest. It was like you were looking through him. Locked on to him as he started to scream for help. Panic erupted. He reached out- and stupidly you held a hand up- just in time for him to start disintegrating into a dark pile of ash. Right in front of you. Right in front of you. Yet it seemed like a second pair of eyes was staring out from the ones falling to dark pieces- pleading- just as his entire body broke down into a heap of smolders on the floor. 

Terror was a hot flash across your consciousness as heavily armed men entered the room, guns brandished. More than one person flung the accusation, “IT’S SHIELD!” 

You just didn’t have enough time. Ripping the front of your blouse open to expose the Heart Reactor on your chest, you tapped once to draw out, leading the nanobots on a clear path down your arm. And then you held up for a quick repulsor blast at one of the men that nearly knocked you off your feet without the aid of the entire suit to stabilize you. It rocked your arm up and around after. And then the gunfire started. 

You swooped down into a dive to drag another representative out of the way of fire- just as another one of those weapons were tossed at one of the security guards in the room. He, too, cried out in fear and pain and then just fell apart into ash. But- focused on him- you had enough time to tap again and suit up fully. Helmet on, “LUNA I need you to figure out what those weapons are NOW.” Stressed as more than a hundred different threads of white-hot panic were raining over you. 

“We’ve got no database on them, ma’am- and I’m not sure the suit will protect you- so please-” 

“Don’t get hit. Got it.” Easier said than done. You were lucky enough to draw regular gunfire as you took off out of your spot with an extra boost of jets to ram the armed man closest to you into- and then through a wall. Then you rocked back with another burst to re-enter the room. Just in enough time to see the seeming man-in-charge of this operation lob one of those weapons Talbot’s way- 

“LUNA lock and engage!” Holding a hand up to get a steady trajectory lock so that you could blast it out of the air. Jumped up and over the table, towards him where he was just at the exit at the back of the room. “Go. Now.” Shielding him from further fire. 

The head goon jumped on the table with an almost too-on-the-nose declaration, “SHIELD is done hiding!” 

Pushing another representative out of the way of a hail of bullets, taking on the damage, you then almost seriously chucked them out of the door. “Go!” Then in a clean backflip to put you right on the other end of the table, “You know, last time I heard that, it came right before someone telling me they were actually Hydra. Now you wouldn't happen to be lying would you? I’d be very disappointed.” 

He smirked. “Lady Iron. Join me, won’t you? We’re allies.” 

You decided to push your luck. “What level were you before SHIELD fell into the water?” 

“Eight.” 

“What floor number was Fury’s office actually on in the Triskellion?” 

A spark of anger lit up between the two of you and he gnashed his teeth behind his closed lips. “Screw this.” Flinging his arm forward to lob one of those disintegration weapons your way. You had barely enough time to drop in a slide to your knees, pulling one leg up on the rise to gain momentum in an uppercut. He lifted off his feet but just as he came back down you kicked in his chest, sending him flying towards the back of the room. 

But as you lifted again to try and gain on him, his buddies came in hot and heavy with more gunfire and you had to draw up a shield. One you rammed into despite a heavy warning flaring to life on your screen, so that you could boost into a sweeping kick to get a few more men bowled over. Keeping in with momentum after dropping your shield, you swung your elbow into the stomach of one and reached behind you to grab the shoulders of another just as he tried to reach for you, throwing him across the room. They were a small group, you could dominate them-

 But in the middle of a smaller hail of bullets, LUNA put a target on your screen- one that was about a foot away from your open side- “Ma’am-!” 

It was weird, to be thanking the powers that be that someone had fired a rocket launcher on you instead of one of those weird instant-killing weapons. But that’s basically what you did as you went flying out of the window, consciousness waning as your head rattled around, falling several stories into one of the back gardens in a painful heap. You were lucky, that cries of “Fall back! SHIELD fall back!” were crackling through the airwaves, making it past your ringing ears. Giving you a little permission to just… drift.

They weren’t here to kill everyone. They’d been here to make a point. 

You drew up on your hands and knees, pulling the helmet off as you struggled for air, coughing up blood on your hands and knees.. Now that you weren’t in immediate danger, you felt like you were drowning in the wake of everyone else’s terror. Yet the world felt weirdly empty. Like there was a hole in your chest. 

You’d been staring right at Dioli- You’d been trying to sense him- And he’d died right in the middle of it. 

His eyes. You couldn’t stop seeing his eyes. 

 When you found the strength, you put the helmet back on, and took the short way up, lifting on uneasy jet boosts back up to the room you’d been blasted out of. Empty. Everyone had fled. “LUNA, can you find some people for me...” Hopefully the entire building had been evacuated. Dizziness was looping around in a knot centered at the back of your head.

 “The building is 90% empty, ma’am. We have one group huddled in the lower deck stairwell.” Taking shelter, no doubt.

 So you redirected towards there and instead of using the jets to just plow down through the center, you deactivated your suit, and instead made the walk. It was almost of no surprise when you found them huddled together, Talbot in front of them, wounded, and one of the pretend-SHIELD men dead on the steps just below. He looked up at you on your approach. “Is the building secure? I lost comms.” No doubt why he was hiding. These men could have been lined up on the lawn ready to execute anyone who left the entire building for all he knew.

 You gave a weary nod. “We’re clear.” Reaching your hand to offer him help up. He ignored you, maybe more of a pride thing than anything else. And you just didn’t have enough energy to care. Instead you focused your efforts on helping up the representatives that had taken shelter with him, listening to their tearful murmurs of gratitude as they went in one ear and out the other.

 You and Talbot brought everyone out around back to one of the gardens, while everyone else in the building started pouring back in. Statements were being taken. People were being helped. It must have been an hour before a medteam even got to you. You were just trying to hold on. You couldn’t hear a word they were saying as they tried to push and prod you- to get you to do anything- 

Talbot’s hand was on your shoulder- But it was the rumble of the Quinjet roaring closer and then dropping to land that really stilled everyone. 

Predictably, Tony was the first one out. Sense returned as his familiar waves brought you back. “Mission didn’t go well?” Trying to pretend this looked like less than it was. 

“What happened?” 

Talbot stood straighter, “She did her job.” As you looked up at him, you realized he was slightly banged up, arm in a sling. “Where were your people?” 

Tony’s anger was easy to spot. “My people? Seems like one of them was right here. And you’re-” 

“Sir.” Steve, in his full Captain America gear, was trotting up to the scene. “Let me take over.” 

Talbot extended a hand. “Captain.” Attention successfully diverted. But, as Tony helped you to your feet, he redirected one last time, holding his remaining arm out. You regarded the gesture and then met his gaze. “You did good.” 

“That wasn’t SHIELD.” All you could think to do in the moment. 

When he realized you were ignoring him otherwise, he glowered, and let his hand drop. But, to your surprise, he agreed. “I don’t think it was, either.” It was nice to have an understanding with this man. 

At least for as long as it lasted before Tony turned you away. “Let’s get you home.” 

Talbot seemed like he didn’t want to let you leave. “She should see a medic.” 

“We have medics in-house.” And Tony wanted you anywhere but here. Just at the landing stairs, Tony half turned. “Cap.” Calling his attention. “You staying?” 

Steve nodded. “For the time being.” 

With that he helped you up and into the jet where the rest of the team were still buckled in their seats. Bruce was sitting at one of the consoles. “...eventful day?” Turning as you and Tony sat down closest to him. 

You tried on your best smile for him. “More than yours, it seems.” 

Natasha spoke from the front seat as she ignited the engines. “Big bust in Turkmenistan. But word on the street is SHIELD just kicked in the UN’s doors and declared war. So that’s something.” 

Clint flipped a few switches next to her, co-piloting. “It’s always something.” 

A defeated and painful laugh escaped you. “Who are you telling?” Tony was just watching you. Clearly not in the mood for amusement. It killed yours, and you hung your head.

 It was never not something, at this point. 

Never. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 124

The next morning came too soon. You were sure both you and Tony had been tossing and turning endlessly. Thinking. Not getting much sleep. At some point it might just have been advantageous to stop pretending you were trying to get rest and get up. But the two of you stayed. Until about four in the morning, when your phone started buzzing on the nightstand. Always a good sign. 

Reaching over without sitting up, fighting through your bleary-eyed haze after having a fresh twenty minutes of sleep, you practically slapped the phone down over half your face as you answered, “Yes- good morning- this is the CEO of Stark Industries.”

Tony’s voice was just as much a croak as he held up a finger, “One of the CEOs.”

“-one of the two CEOs. As you know, since you called my personal phone, office hours are-” 

“We don’t have time for this.” President Matthew Ellis’ blessed voice cut through the rest of your fog. You didn’t remember there being a national emergency as your team argued the night before, so hopefully this wasn’t too serious. “I need you to take a meeting today. In my office.” 

“I’m booked, sir. Can you find your way here?” 

“No.” And then he just hung up. 

Sure, he was the President of the United States. Sure, he had the authority to make some demands of his citizens- though, you’d _really _have to remind him that he worked for you. Not the other way around. It seemed like more often these days he was forgetting. But… you weren’t just a private citizen, were you. And the relationship you’d seeded with him… technically, these days, you did a fair amount of work on his behalf. 

Today seemed like it would be no different. He didn’t sound harried or upset, so maybe that was a good thing. But less good was that he didn’t want to spill it all over the phone. That was the exact sort of thing that spelled trouble. 

Tony put an arm over his head. “What’s good ol’ Matthew up to today?” Knowing, probably, that was one of the only people you’d address as sir. 

You breathed out a long sigh. “I have no idea. He wants me to come in.” 

“Alone?” 

“Didn’t say.” 

“Mandatory?” 

“I mean. I don’t think he’ll send a tank to come bring me to the White House in handcuffs. But…” It was absolutely unlikely he’d make a scene like that. Too much negative press.

“So he’s counting on your good will.” 

Your smile was aggravated. “Yeah. Seems that way.”

Shifting his arm up just a couple of inches and turning his head your way, the two of you shared a long, quiet look through the semi-darkness. Then finally, “Well at least it’s not re-election year. Can’t be anything too crazy.” You couldn’t exactly see it, but you sensed his small quirk of a grin. He then reached over, fingers touching along your forehead in a gentle brush. “You want me to come with you?” 

It would be easy to say yes, of course I do. And maybe you should have. But… the timing of this was all a little convenient. And as Tony had put it so many times, how often had it been the case since all of this had started that things were just coincidences? “I’ll be alright.” Whatever this meeting was, it was just that. A meeting. You could handle that. 

Leaning up on his other arm, his hand came down, palming your cheek, turning you closer as he moved in so he could press a kiss to your lips. “I know you will.” Murmured after he backed off. “That wasn’t what I asked.” 

Closer now, and as your eyes had adjusted by this point, you saw him a little more clearly. Just there in the space above you. “Stay here. I’ll go to DC and come back and tell you all about whatever it is.” Finalizing the decision. What a day. Getting on a jet to go to DC, take a meeting with the President and probably several others over some secret thing that couldn’t be discussed over the phone, and then getting back on a jet and coming home- 

“That makes your afternoon booked. And we have a lovely meeting ahead of us I’m sure for the morning…” Moving a little further atop you, sliding in on his forearms aside your head. “What’s your evening looking like?” 

“I’d have to look at my planner. Probably a little more Stark Industries skewed…” Lifting your arms, you wrapped them lightly around his neck, tilting up as his nose brushed yours. 

“Why not just Stark skewed?” Humming the suggestive thought just over your lips. 

The noise that rolled out of you was somehow equal parts agreeable and disagreeable. But only jokingly so as you said, “Asking me to put the CEO before the company?” 

“Both CEOs, actually.” Grinning then. 

“You’re more like a figurehead at this point.” Teasing him, unable to help just a light touch of giggles as his forehead pressed down against yours. 

“Yeah? And you let that happen. In fact- you practically demanded.” 

Your fingers moved up, touching up through the back of his hair, holding him close. “I don’t want to rule your empire alone.” 

“Our empire.” Correcting you with just the barest touch of another kiss. 

One you smiled into. “Mnhmn… ours… right. That’s why everything says Stark, and not-”

“I’ve said a thousand times by now. I know how to fix that. If you’d just let me.” A soft spark of a glow lit up between you. Probably a little too telling. But it was somehow better than the morning sun. Tony’s beautiful smile painted in your light. “Oh- is that a yes? Are you suddenly feeling differently-?” Cut off, though the followed noise of question continued as you quieted him with a kiss. 

You couldn’t help yourself. The thought of a future unfettered by all this other nonsense- just you and Tony. Together. Like it felt like you were meant to be. It lit a spark in your heart. Reserved, obviously, only for him. When you tilted back, “The sun will be up soon.” The day would start, and with it the endless parade of bullshit that bothered the both of your lives. “Can I request-” 

“Hmn. Anything.” Getting a little lost as one kiss turned into another into another… 

“I’d like to bookend my day with Stark, if you don’t mind.” 

“Which one?” Mouth quirked in a grin against your lips. “The man or the empire-” 

“Tony Stark. If you please…” 

His right hand eased down your side, fingers firm as they found your thigh, hoisting your leg high up against his side. “Oh I please.” 

“Yes you do.” Said in a warm hitch of a happy gasp and a touch of delighted mutual smiles as he hiked your hips up further in his careful hands.

                                                   --------

After making the most of your personal time with Tony and a long shower, time was approaching to get to this random meeting Maria had called. You wondered if she would have done so had you not had the one previous about all this Fisk business. It must have depended on the severity of what she was about to say. ...and you also wondered if this had to do with the hundred or so emails Damage Control had been sending your way almost every week now. Most of them had been about staff- maybe… one or two about updates.

But that’s why you’d shifted her over. Because you trusted her to handle things like that. You hoped that hadn’t been a mistake. 

For everyone’s benefit, you went out to get bagels, coffee, doughnuts, and a fruit platter. Maybe not a fancy breakfast for this makeshift meeting, but it would do. When you brought it all back up to the conference room your team had shared the night prior with Happy’s help, you saw Maria had taken over completely. She had a few members of her staff moving about in the semi-large room, talking over one another, going over papers, helping her set up projectors- several of which were already displaying information. 

Steve was the first one actually there, and he must have asked if he could be of some use because he seemed to be stuck in the back corner with a stack of papers in his arms. As you set your small breakfast gatherings on the table nearest him, you offered him a small smile. “Good morning.” 

“Morning.” He seemed at the very least amicable. If not a little tense for the meeting ahead. 

You suddenly felt that way, too. You had no idea it was this intense. “Did you ask somebody if you could help one too many times?” 

“That obvious?” 

“Old trick. Give someone something to hold and tell them to stand in a dubious direction. Keeps you busy. And out of the way.” 

He at least found the humor to grin. “Seems like there’s still a lot of corporate culture I have to learn.” 

The team eventually started trickling in, accepting your meager breakfast offerings, and chatting with one another. Although more than one pair of eyes looked to you for answers, you felt a little overwhelmed- and without information. Not really the best place to be. But, as Tony strolled in last one to the meeting, Maria sent the rest of her staff out just as Tony was scrutinizing a chart on the wall closest to you. 

“Thanks everyone for coming.” She settled her hands together behind  her. “Obviously I don’t have to tell you everything we talk about stays in this room.” 

Bruce made a sweeping glance around all the screens in the room. “This all seems… serious.” 

She gave a brisk nod. “We were trying to keep it under wraps. Take control without the need for… intervention.” 

A storm started brewing and you tipped your head up to see Tony scrolling through one of the screens. That was bad. Maria started talking but he spoke over her, holding a hand out to faintly wave and point at the same time. “Someone’s gonna want to restrain the big guy.” 

Bruce looked up. “Me?” 

Half turning, Tony readjusted his point. “Other big guy.” 

And when his gaze landed on Thor, he sat back with a confused look, hand to his chest. “What have I done?” 

Maria cleared her throat. “Stark. That’s enough.” He held her gaze for a long time before turning and taking a seat next to you. She sighed. “Well, now that we’re ahead…” Feeling a mix of discomfort and ire. “After the public fall of SHIELD- and with Hydra escaping out of every hole they could, they made off with some assets before anyone could stop them.” 

Oh no. Oh no. 

A chokehold took over the room. But everyone remained silent. Hoping for the best. Knowing that wasn’t what was about to happen, though. 

Maria started pacing very slowly, pulling stats and graphs and pictures into flow on the various screens. “Most of these we’ve started to recover. But there’s one they’ve been moving around. Covering their trail on while trying to conduct experiments.” 

“Let’s just cut to the chase.” Tony stared up at her. “SHIELD lost the scepter.” 

The scepter- Loki’s scepter. The one that had been used to brainwash people. The one that had been brandished in malice. The one partly responsible for the attack on New York- It felt like someone elbowed you in the chest. 

In fact… that feeling was shared across the room. None more so than Thor, who slammed his hands on the table and stood. “This is unacceptable.” 

A clamor of nervous voices all rose up but Maria toppled them all, “I agree.” Loud but not shouting. “We’ve been trying to recover it for a while-”

Steve scoffed. “How long is a while?” 

Tony crossed his arms. “More than a year.” 

Steve practically boggled. Disappointment and anger were not too far off. “And when were you planning on telling us?” 

Natasha offered herself up, though she probably shouldn’t have. “Seems like we’re being told right now.” 

A thought struck across the group. Nat and Clint had remained silent, and their gazes were indicative. But Steve was the one to make the claim. “You knew about this.” 

Sensing that this meeting was due to fall apart into a shouting match you spoke up, “We can’t do this right now. We can’t start pointing fingers. Okay. Let’s just- let’s just summarize here. SHIELD failed. And is still failing.” Wow. Big surprise. You looked up Maria’s way. “You can’t secure the scepter. So you need us to go get it.” That’s really what this was about. 

Her smile was bitter. “Damage Control is no SHIELD. And it’s certainly not the Avengers.” 

Thor stood. “When we obtain the scepter- again- I will take it off this planet. Your people cannot be trusted with it.” 

Clint made a very dark noise. “Right. Who was it again that brought it here in the first place?” 

Bristling, Thor leveled a glare, “I will not have you speak ill of-” 

Both you and Steve spoke over each other, “Guys, stop.” “Knock it off.”

 And then after sharing a glance, he let you speak. “We can’t start fighting with each other.” Because this was heading somewhere much different than differing team opinions. “We found it once, we can do it again. Right?” Looking both Tony and Bruce’s way. 

They shared an almost… peculiar glance, but then Tony folded his arms. “Sure. We can bust out the old tools. Get a scan going.” 

Bruce gave a nod. “Shouldn’t really be that hard… unless Hydra started covering the output signals. Which… having all the data, I imagine they might have.” Sensing he was about to lead everyone right into another debate, he held a hand up. “But that’s not a problem. Like you said. We did it once already.” 

A settled air of resolve and maybe a slice of your own relief touched over the group. This was going to be okay. You could get all this back. Your team could do all this. Maria should have just told you sooner. But… that wasn’t the SHIELD way, was it. “If that’s all, we can start going over your data-” 

She cut the group down yet again. “It isn’t.” And when all eyes went up her way she sighed. “Hydra have also made off with a fair amount of Chitauri samples.” 

Bruce’s brows raised. “Samples? Of what?” 

Dread pooled in your stomach. Along with a heavy, and perhaps earned, amount of guilt. Tony took over. “Bodies. Weapons. Anything that dropped in New York they could get their hands on. And nobody said a thing. If you can even imagine that. Difficult, I know. Definitely no priors to go on.” Sarcasm heavy with disdain. He was as tired as the rest of you were of this garbage. 

Recent? This was recently? Or was it… something somebody covered up underneath your watch? You supposed the information was here to look at. The data. Dates. Things that would make it clear- ...clear that no matter when it happened… 

It was your fault. 

“I take full responsibility for this.” Resigned to your position. 

“You shouldn’t.” It was quite a shock that both Tony and Maria said this. And when Tony put a heated look her way she nodded and then lowered her head. “SHIELD took down a few of your Damage Control trucks between warehouses. It was the wrong move. And we’re paying for it now.” 

Then, suddenly, all eyes were on you. 

SHIELD had stolen from you what you’d tried to clean up. And because of them, Hydra now had alien weaponry. Alien bodies. Who knew how much. Who knew what they were using them for. Nothing good. That was for sure. It sounded like this had been going on for a while. And while SHIELD had still been up, they’d kept it quiet. And no doubt they’d destroyed the information before it could even come out. 

It wasn’t as if Maria had tried to bully her way onto head of Damage Control. But she sure hadn’t had to think about it long when you’d offered it to her. 

“Okay.” You took a deep breath. What more could you do? What would getting mad about this do? You’d just sternly told the team in-fighting wouldn’t help. Getting mad at Maria… it was worthless. 

Steve put a hand down on the table. “This is not okay.” 

Tony arched a brow. “We’re in total agreement, then. This is nowhere near okay.” He was waiting. Waiting on you to give him some word… permission to be angry on your behalf. Permission to do anything about this. 

But you couldn’t keep feeding into it. “It’s not. But let’s make a promise right here. This will be the last of SHIELD’s mistakes that we pay for.” Then you shook your head. “Getting angry about this won’t solve anything. All we can do is clean it up. We’ll get back the scepter. We’ll recover the stolen Chitauri samples. And maybe if we’re lucky we’ll root out the last of Hydra while we’re at it.” You glanced around the room. At your team. “Are we in agreement?” 

Fighting about this would not fix it. Fixing it would fix it. So you had to move forward. You had to hold everyone together. 

When firm murmurs of agreement came in you stood. “Good. Maria, put together personal comprehensive reports. I want them in everyone’s hands by the end of the day.” 

She held her arms together. “You seem like you’re leaving. We could go over all of it right now.” 

“I have a meeting to get to.” Aside that… in order to keep to your word, you needed to get out of here. And cool down. 

Steve cast a slightly disappointed but curious look up your way. “More important than this?” Probably assuming it was Stark Industries related. And therefore, clearly, not as important. 

 All eyes were on you as most of the team seemed to agree with Steve’s sense of responsibility. What on earth could you have going on that was more important than getting back the scepter and stolen Chitauri parts?

You simply smiled at them. “I have to go speak with the President.” 

“Oh.” 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 123

In an effort to be fair to the whole team, you called a meeting as soon as you returned to the Tower. It was a little late by then, but everyone was amicable enough to drag themselves either from bed or from whatever their nighttime activities were to sit in one of the Avengers’ conference rooms. Maybe it would have been more comfortable in the living space, but… 

Once everyone was seated, save you and Tony, you gently tried to brief everyone on what was going on. At least what you knew by now. And that was that Wilson Fisk had detonated four Russian mafia warehouses in Hell’s Kitchen either to prove a point or to get them out of his way. Natasha and Clint seemed to perk up at the mention of his name, not a surprise. Even without SHIELD they sort of still seemed to know everything. 

But for everyone else in the room, you tried your best to explain that Fisk was an ordinary monster above men, or at least thought himself so. He had money and money made power, which he also had in droves. Usually by form of extreme blackmail, which meant everyone was at risk of playing right into his hands. Because it was either do what he asked for fear of having their lives ruined, or he’d murder them and put someone else in their spot. Mob boss stuff. Very simple. He may have been one of the toughest crime lords out there, but there were millions like him- 

A point Maria made quietly, her hands laced together as she sat in the back of the room. Tony seemed to agree. But why worry about any of this now? Well… 

You then had to go over that he had went through someone else to host that gala, and had accosted the two of you in that usual menacing way of his. And had made more than a few not-so-vague threats when things hadn’t gone his way. And then… 

Tony pulled up a picture of that man in black that had dropped down from a building only an hour ago and projected it on the front screen. Crossing his arms, he gave a little shrug. “Pretty much laid down the law- the actual law. Fisk intends to hold this kid up by his collar and make an example of vigilantism. Which, if you’ve been following along and not falling asleep in your chairs, becomes a problem for everyone in this room.” 

Steve had been sitting silent, absorbing all this information, but he half swept his hand out, “But why come after you two?” 

“Which one?” You couldn’t help but ask slightly defeatedly. 

He looked at you. “Both. Does it matter?” Getting just a little irritated. 

You had to bite the self-made bullet on this one. “Everyone was invited to the charity benefit. I think he intended to talk to everyone. Only-” 

Bruce’s head dropped. “Only nobody else went but you guys. Got it.” Huffing out a quiet noise. “So. We’re in a bit of a mess.”

Thor made a face. “He is but one man- perhaps on top of some empire- but empires crumble very easily.” 

Tony looked up. “With force is what you’re saying. And- look- I’d love for you to just drop the hammer on this guy. But I’m thinking we need to be a little more delicate than that on this one.” 

You, to no one’s surprise you were sure, backed him up. “Otherwise we risk making him the martyr he’s trying to be.” 

Steve sighed, looking at the picture of the man he’d been face to face with a little while ago. “This guy… what do we know about him?” 

Tony’s lips quirked in a very brief flash of a grin. There one moment, gone the next. “Enough to scare him.” 

Leveling a harder look his way, Steve was just short of glaring. “So you were spying on him.” 

Nat reached over to give a light touch. “Information is not the enemy here, Steve. Didn’t we just hear he dropped off a ten story building to menace you in an alleyway?” 

Before Steve could rebuff her, Clint made an agitated noise. “Who- who cares who knows what- or how. The better question is- if you know enough about the guy- is he enhanced? I think that’s more important.” 

Tony shrugged. “To be determined. I’d say there’s a strong possibility.”

There was a strong possibility that Tony knew he could count on the two former spies to agree with him. You were… undecided. Tony had clearly gotten that point across to the man in black that he knew who he was, which made him dangerous. You just hoped that didn’t put your group in a vicinity close to Fisk… It had at least gotten him to back off. That was the important thing, right? Actually-

You looked at him. “You gave him a thumbdrive. With what on it?” 

“Everything he needs. If he’s smart. That way we can keep our hands clean. Like everyone in this room said a few nights ago. What was it? Below our pay grade, I think.” 

Maria sat so forward in her chair it scraped a little pushing back on the floor, sending all eyes her way. Which was probably the point. “It’s an interesting way to put it. And also puts this into a little more perspective. The Avengers is a private organization, funded by two very generous benefactors.” Smiling, wryly, at both you and Tony. But only briefly, before she became serious again. “One that, even in SHIELD’s absence, we have to remember was forged for, as Nick liked to put it, something greater.” 

Steve frowned. “So what- that means we turn our backs even when we know something terrible is happening?” Clearly disagreeing. 

“It means we have a roster of mostly enhanced individuals enacting what we have to be careful about calling justice. Especially when it's on citizens pretending to be ordinary and well meaning.” She shut him down, albeit as lightly as possible. 

You tried to gain back some control. “Fisk wants us to get involved. Because he wants to hang everyone’s cowls up here, Steve. Not just the man in black. Right now he’s painted himself like some angel of Hell’s Kitchen. If the Avengers go in there and bust him up- how would that look?” 

He shook his head. “So we sit here and do nothing? How is that not playing to his advantage, too?” 

Tony cut in. “Because we have a man on the inside. You know, the aforementioned one wearing all black. With the blindfold.” 

Steve looked up at him. “And what if he can’t handle it? What if this Fisk guy takes him out and starts shouting all this down with heroes nonsense? We’ll be too late, then.” 

Thor hung his head back, “I hope you’ll excuse me for saying so, but this petty human business does not seem like it needs the call of the Avengers.” 

Clint’s lips pursed, brows knitting. “Not that I’m arguing- but- weren’t you just on the side of going to his lair to topple his empire?” 

“I can change my opinion.” Then he gestured your way. “Lady is right. If you have a man pretending to be king to a people who heed him as such, it matters very little what we call justice then.” 

Natasha smiled. “Thor calling for delicacy… maybe we’re in the end times.” Teasing him lightly. Something he seemed to appreciate as they shared a grin. 

Steve crossed his arms, shaking his head. “So what I’m hearing is I’m being veto’ed.” 

You couldn’t help your frown. “It’s not like that.” 

He looked up at you. “The other night when four bombings happened, you and I wanted to go, and the team said no. If we’d gotten involved then, where would we be now?” As you settled your gaze level with his, a light pulse of guilt edged out from him- and then propelled him even further, “Now we’re having another meeting about this, because we didn’t put a stop to it the first time, and the team is saying no again. What will happen this time?” 

There was something very strange happening here. It was true the team couldn’t agree on everything all the time. Nor should they. That’s what made this team great. That everyone had something to offer- that all viewpoints could be explored. But… the way he’d been looking at you for just that brief moment- 

Maria put her hands on the table very carefully. “Look, out of all the between-a rock-and-a hard-places to be, this one is relatively small.”

You held yourself tall. This was tough, but not all team meetings could be fun. “I say we keep surveillance tight. And if it turns out we have to get involved, we do it quietly. This isn’t aliens in New York. This is a crime boss who is using a halo as a cover.” 

The way Steve was looking at you already hurt you, but it was what he said that really cut you down to size. “And you had a problem with SHIELD.” 

Tony raised a hand, “Alright. It’s getting late-” 

Maria spoke again, “Hey. If you want something a little more aliens in New York, I have exactly something that’s a bit more pressing than mob bosses.” 

Bruce slumped back in his chair. “Honestly- I think we need a break before we tackle the next mountain.”

Clint let go of an amused scoff. “Technically I think that was the molehill.” 

“Either way…” Bruce slipped his glasses off the bridge of his nose and rubbed between his eyes. 

Tony’s fingers brushed the inside of your palm, and it wasn’t until that moment that you realized you’d been holding yourself pin-straight. The two of you shared a small glance and then you just shook your head in defeat. He took over. “As I was saying, it’s getting late. So let’s do the meeting adjourned thing- who brought the gavel? We can go over the whole…” Wiggling his fingers at Maria before dropping his hand, “-whatever tomorrow morning. How’s breakfast sound?” 

There was a group rumbling of minimalist approval to the idea. So with that done, you and Tony hung back as everyone exited the room. Unsurprisingly, Steve was the last one aside the two of you. Guilt was circling him much heavier now. Which was nice. Because he’d been kind of an asshole just there. And it was nice to know that he understood that without you having to say so. 

...even still. You were a little too bruised to deal with it. He had jumped so quickly to that insult. Even upset as he was… was that really the right response? Tony stood in the doorway, half turned, waiting quietly as Steve approached you. 

You just looked up at him. He frowned. “Look- that wasn’t the right way to go about it- I’m sorry.” There was an unspoken thought here. That you maybe should take this, because you knew how he was with this innate sense of justice. How could he just turn his back on this? Twice now he’d been told to do so, and in his eyes, every time it was growing worse because of it. 

But- so what? Why was it your job to placate him? Then again… he was apologizing. And it just wasn’t going to do anyone good to hold this against him. “Okay. Thank you. It’s fine.” Short and choppy. About the best you could do as your nerves were pulled taut this late. 

His eyes dropped. “Can we talk?” 

“Can it wait?” Moving just a little so he’d redirect his attention. When he looked at you again, “It’s late, and I’m kind of spent.” Trying to let him know it wasn’t because you were mad. ...most of it, anyway. 

He stared at you- making you feel very… strange. But then he pressed his lips together and nodded. “Sure. It can wait.” 

Trying to reclaim some of this back and salvage the evening, you reached up to give him a gentle pat on the arm and the best smile you could manage. “Thank you.” 

He just nodded again. “Sure thing.” 

Tony proved to be your strength as you went to meet him in the door and his arm came around your shoulders. Basically giving you permission to melt into him and leave the troubles of the team conference right there in that room. Not drag them with you upstairs… but, who were you kidding. You really couldn’t help yourself. There was a lot to think on. Not the least of which was who was right here. You, not unusually so, sided with yourself. 

The Avengers couldn’t just romp around and beat down whoever they wanted. Sure the people generally liked your group- but you couldn’t just fall back on that everyone would agree with what you did all the time. There definitely were people who didn’t, and they would be the ones proved right if you stepped out of line. Right now Fisk was just an ordinary citizen to most of the world. Especially to the city. And especially to the people of Hell’s Kitchen who he was pretending to help. 

If the Avengers just rocked up on him and tried to beat him up…? How on earth would that look? The optics were not good. Not great even. There wasn’t a good way to go about this, even knowing what you knew. And- so what if you didn’t like the way SHIELD had done things, sometimes. It didn’t mean wanting to just keep an eye on it and act quietly made you like them. The way they handled things poorly. 

You barely realized the two of you had made it all the way up to the penthouse and into your bedroom. Coming out of your thoughts, you found yourself sitting on the edge of the bed, Tony behind you, expert hands kneading the knots out of your shoulders. 

God damn it all, you just couldn’t help yourself. 

“How much do you know about this man in black?” He’d skirted around it in the meeting. But-

You heard the twitch of a smile in his voice. “You’re too smart to be asking me that.” 

So. Everything, then. “You know who he is.” Tony affirmed this with a little quiet noise. Your eyes dropped to close. “I don’t want to know.” Deciding then. Whatever Tony had dug up- it was probably important. He thought it was important. And it gave the entire team more leverage. Especially considering that man had orchestrated a paparazzi nightmare to come and… well… he hadn’t been threatening you, had he? More like… warning you. But still. 

“Not a problem.” 

“No one else can know, either.” Tipping your head back, you eased until you found his shoulder. 

His arms came down, resting over your chest in a loose loop. “That’s up to him- not- not in a- I’m threatening him way. What I know no one else has access to. Promise. But if Fisk finds out-” 

“We basically as a group just decided he was on his own.” Glowering just a little, realizing only now what Steve was getting at. A potentially enhanced individual- a potential ally was being left to his own devices against someone very dangerous. The Avengers had deemed him… not worth it. Or not worth it right now, but was there even a distinction there?

...did this feel right? 

“He decided it first, to be fair. Pretty sure he lurked out of the shadows to tell you to mind your own business.” Trying to alleviate some of your sudden stress and guilt. There was no doubt he could feel it, hanging in the air between the both of you. 

As you took a deep breath, you closed your eyes. “I guess that’s true…” 

“That is true. Just because our little team came to the same conclusion- Capsicles notwithstanding- doesn’t make it any less true. Everyone just mutually agreed to stay in their lanes. So… everyone should be happy.” 

Your sudden smile projected like someone you loved had just punched you in the gut. “And yet-” 

His arms tightened just a little, holding you. “Yeah. And yet.” You opened your eyes just a quarter as he laid back a little, gazing up at him. When he looked back, “Hill’s right, you know. This is small beans, comparatively. Don’t let it get to you.” 

“I don’t wanna start on the path of deciding which lives are worth saving more than others.” 

At this he seemed to break a little, eyes lowering. “Yeah. But. You can’t help people who don’t want help. So we’ll start there. And… everything else we can figure out after.” Trying to save you. To extend a rope for you to hold on to, so you didn’t get sucked into this black hole. 

Perhaps a lot closer than you realized. Reaching up, you brushed the backs of your fingers against his cheek. “I love you.” It helped. Having him to come back home to, after meetings. After superhero-ing. After… everything. 

 You hoped your own presence returned that very same favor.

“I love you, too.” Smiling down at you.

“We should get some sleep.” He needed it more than anyone, you were sure. Especially after most likely having been up all last night prior working up to this conclusion. 

His nod was tired. “Probably right. No telling what Hill’s gonna start us in on tomorrow.” 

“A much bigger molehill, I think I heard.” 

He half-grinned. “Where are all these moles coming from?” 

“Honey, if I knew that…” 

The two of you shared a quiet laugh. Easy to joke about. Because, sure, if you knew that… you’d probably be able to get to work ridding the world of them. So that one day you wouldn’t have to do this anymore. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 129 [Begin: Jessica Jones: Season 1]

You had to clamp down. Immediately. Had to really fight and claw your way out of that oncoming panic at the mere thought that that man was not only not dead but apparently wandering around and now enough of a threat that the woman who had verbally attacked you on a sidewalk ages ago thought to seek you out. Yeah. All of this was fucked. And you had to really grip yourself tight in order to not just explode into a cloud of anxiety. 

“We can’t talk about this here.” On a public sidewalk, where people were already taking notice that you were standing around. 

“I’m not going to your little fancy tower of super-idiots.” And, of course, she was going to make this as difficult as possible. 

You really just weren’t well equipped to be dealing with this right now. Going home was the best idea. For you. But she didn’t want to go there. “So what do you suggest? I can ask for a back table at a restaurant somewhere-” Somewhere private. And quiet. 

“No. I’ve got a better idea.” Hooking her hand back she pointed, “That your car?” 

“Yes.” 

“Get in. Let’s go. I’ll tell your driver where to take us.” Her disdain was already overtly obvious. And you were drowning in it. 

This was practically spelling out TROUBLE to you in big letters. Huge letters. There was no way any of this was good. She wanted to take you to a private location. ...but you could handle yourself. Even if she was stronger than average. Although the second you got into the backseat of your car- and she sidled in next to you- Happy put his arm across the back of the passenger seat so he could turn around. 

And stared at her. Then it clicked. “You’re- no- absolutely not- I’m calling Tony-”

“Don’t call Tony, Happy- everything is alright-” Already fighting to gain control of this situation.

“Are you being held against your will? Are you under duress? Blink twice if you’re in danger.” He pointed a finger her way. “Listen lady, I’ll call the Avengers down here so fast you won’t know what hit you-” 

Jessica just deadpanned a look your way. “This is your head of security? Really?”

This was already a shit show, so you figured why not go all out. Setting your hand on Happy’s shoulder, you willed a little calm over him. “Look, I’m okay, alright? She and I just need to go somewhere private to talk.” 

Happy mulled this over. But, thankfully, he stopped being so explosive. “Alright. Fine. But I’m watching you, you understand?” Pointing Jessica’s way a few more times for good measure. Then he turned around to set his hands on the wheel. “Where am I taking you?” 

Jessica leaned forward. “It’s this bar called Luke’s.” 

She was halfway through giving the address when you felt your face scrunch up. “A bar? It’s twelve thirty in the afternoon.” 

“You want somewhere dark and private right? Where no one will spot royalty? Nobody will see you there, your majesty.” 

Clenching your hands in your lap, you had to bite back everything inside of you. She’d made it more than clear she didn’t like you when she’d first assaulted you on the sidewalk more than a year ago- ...although technically you’d made the first strike. She may have even hated you. And maybe that was fair. So you had to eat this. You just had to take it. Because it wasn’t even a quarter of what you deserved. 

The air in the car was incredibly uncomfortable. No one spoke. Everyone was tense. So it was a godsend that the Happy made good time to this little bar off the beaten path. In Hell’s Kitchen, no less. You didn’t think you’d be back in this part of the neighborhood so soon. Once Jessica got out and made for the door, Happy turned back, “You want me to go with?” 

“No. Thank you- we’ll only be fifteen minutes. If I need you I’ll call, alright?” Figuring you probably wouldn’t. Jessica didn’t seem like she was taking you somewhere to try and off you. And if she tried, even despite what you knew about her (or even what you didn’t) you were mostly sure you could handle it. Although… that thought had you pausing just as you stepped out, leaning back in the car. “Don’t call Tony. Okay? At least not as an emergency.” Not wanting it to seem like you were hiding this from him, but also not wanting Happy to whip him up into a panic. 

He just nodded. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll be here. Anything even feels remotely off you let me know, okay?” 

A fresh wave of irritation caught your attention so you shut the car door and made your way over to the bar where Jessica was holding the door open for you. Inside was- as she had said- dark, almost overtly so, but with a gentle yellow-orange glow mostly emanating from a well backlit bar. Nobody was inside except for what seemed to be the bartender who was wiping down the counter. Shaved head with a full goatee. Very big and tall- muscular. He’d even put Steve to shame. And that was saying something. 

“Sorry- we’re not officially open yet-” His voice was low and kind of sweet. 

Jessica’s curt tone contrasted him heavily. “You’re open enough.” A slight bubble of happiness opened up above him as he lifted his head with a similar smile- that was until he saw you. And then it all died. She pushed you a little further in. “We’re gonna sit in the back. Don’t mind us.” 

He was frowning then. “Sure thing.” Watching you as she led you to a small table nestled in the back corner. Not really that far from the bar or the door considering the place wasn’t that big, but it was in the back enough. Just as the two of you sat down, though, he seemed to reconsider, clearing his throat. “Can I talk to you?” Waiting until she turned to look at him. “Up here? Now?” 

“Ugh. Don’t get up.” Warning you as she stood again and went to half lean over the bar. “What?” Making no effort to hide her voice. 

He did lower his tone. But only a little. “What are you doing?” 

“We’ll be gone in ten minutes.” 

“No Jess.” 

“I wasn’t really asking.”

“Take this somewhere else.”

“Look. I don’t want to be anywhere near her either. But-”

“No- no, Jess. Whatever this is- not here. Okay? I already got enough trouble. I don’t need this here.” 

Basically at your wit’s end, frustration leaked out of you and you really couldn’t help yourself. Hands coming down just a little hard on the table as you stood, “I can hear you, you know.” 

He frowned deeply then, slinging his bar towel over his shoulder, turning towards you. “Look, ma’am, I just don’t want any trouble. I don’t mean any disrespect.” 

Jess made a face at you. “I do. So sit your ass back down.” She then turned to him. “Ten minutes.” 

He stared her down. “Ten. Then both of you are out.” 

She tipped all the way over the bar to reach for something behind, shifting back on her feet when she’d pilfered a whiskey bottle. “Thanks. Knew you’d understand.” Shaking it at him and then coming back down to sit. Unscrewing it she took a hefty swig. 

The man at the front turned his back to both of you, “You’re paying for that.” 

“Put it on my tab.” Yelling back to him. She then set her eyes square on you. “So. I have some questions for you.” 

Your patience had worn thin by this point. “If you brought me here to needle me again-”

“No. I’m doing the talking now. I know you’re not used to not being in control but this is the part where you shut up and listen.” When everything inside of you flared and you opened your mouth again, she held a finger dangerously close to your face, silencing you while she took another long sip of liquor. She then reached into her jacket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper and tossed it your way. “You know her?” 

Entertaining this, for lack of a better option, after sitting again you opened it and took a long look at the girl. A young blonde woman stared back out from the paper. “I don’t.” Sure you’d never seen her before.

“Of course you don’t. That’s Hope Shlottman. She disappeared about a month ago. Kilgrave abducted her. Which makes this your fault.” As you looked up at Jessica, her eyes hardened. “Her kidnapping. Her rape. All of it. That falls on you.” 

A million things wanted to come out of your mouth. First was defense. Jessica had accosted you and told you Kilgrave had died. When asked of how sure she’d been, she’d doubled down. But… you weren’t looking for that man, were you? No. You’d given up the second you’d fled the scene. So what difference would it have made? No. You had no defense. 

Except… 

“You got free, too.” 

“Don’t start barking up that tree. You got free first. And you ran.” 

Heart slamming in your chest, you decided it was really now or never. “So did you.” 

Her mouth twisted into a snarl. “Yeah, well I don’t have the fucking Avengers and a billion dollar corporation wiping my ass for me, so I’d say you had a little more resources than I did to deal with him.” 

“But you’re like us-” 

“I’m nothing like you people.” Slamming a fist down on the table so hard it cracked. Immediately after she turned her head away, trying to regain a little bit of control. You sat there in shame and bitterness while she took a breath. She was calmer but no less angry when she spoke again. “I ran. You ran. The difference is I thought he was dead. You knew he was alive and you still didn’t do anything about it.” 

“Would you have?” Focusing hard on her. “Knowing what he can do- you think I want him on the streets? But knowing what he’s capable of- you think I want my team underneath his thumb?” 

“That’s not an excuse.” 

“I know it’s not.” Growled, holding your hands so tight underneath the table you were sure your nails were cutting into your palms. “You think I just walked free and went about my life? You think I don’t know I should have done more? I didn’t know how without risking them- and risking them risked every life in this city.” 

Jess considered this. Went quiet for a moment. Took another drink. “So. What? That makes Hope less important? That makes the other women before her that we don’t even fucking know about less important?” 

“Of course it doesn’t. It’s not an excuse. I could have tried to figure out how to do more- I didn’t. But I couldn’t risk-”

“The greater good, is that the bullshit you’re feeding me? That you’ve been feeding yourself so you could feel better this whole time?” 

“What do you think would happen if he got control of Captain America? Of Thor? You think he’s bad now? He craves power. I would have been handing it to him hand over fist.” 

She breathed out a noise, half smirking, eyes going down as she nodded. “Yeah. What about Iron Man?” 

“Leave Tony out of this.” Feeling a fire light up your spine as fierce protectiveness swelled. 

“I don’t think I will. I’m actually curious. I canvassed the street you got saved from that night. Lot of folks got paid to be quiet, turns out.” This stunned you a little. You hadn’t known about that… then again, your kidnapping had been spun as a mental health respite so… maybe it made sense someone had paid them to be quiet about anything they’d seen that night… “But the ones who felt like talking said they saw you and Iron Man taking off from the scene.” 

“So what?” Not sure what she was getting at. 

She narrowed her eyes. “You just ran? Tony Stark just ran?” 

You couldn’t help the roll of your eyes. “We’ve already established-” How much more time was she going to waste guilting you about this? 

“No. What I’m saying is- you took off. Both of you. When Kilgrave was screaming up a storm. How?” 

Something you’d had one bare brain cell to wonder about that night, but hadn’t thought much about it then. Tony had ignored Kilgrave. You weren’t sure how. It hadn’t mattered then. Because all that had mattered was that he hadn’t been snatched up by him and held under control- all that had mattered was that you had been saved. “How did you get away?” Curious then. 

“I’m not part of this. And I wouldn’t have been. If you’d just been the hero you masquerade around as.” 

Finally hitting your peak, it spilled out. “What do you want from me? You want me to say I fucked up? I did. You think I don’t know that? I tried to protect myself and my family, and by doing that I let other innocent people get hurt. Okay? You think I don’t know that? I do.” 

She just made a face at you. “I’m not here for your catharsis.” 

“What do you want from me?” Almost entirely spent at this point. Guilt was stabbing you like a knife. Slow, steady pulls. In and out. Right in your gut. But it was your heart that ached most. She was right. But at this pot what more could you do? 

She let you stew for a bit, drinking again. Then, finally, “Hope murdered her parents. Because she was ordered to  by Kilgrave. There’s a lawyer- Jeri Hogarth- taking the case as a favor to me, but I’m running out of good will fast. Mind control is a pretty fucking hard thing to prove in court. But if you come forward about what you know, you might actually be able to at least help one person who got fucked up because of you.” She reached into her jacket to get a card- Hogarth’s, you saw, as soon as she threw it your way.

Where painful heat had been lancing through you, a new shiver of ice covered up almost all of it. Fear. You were immediately… scared. Jessica was asking you to go public. Talk about what happened to you. Tell the world what happened- and not only that, that you’d ran from it. Because you were probably the only person in the entire fucking world now that a jury would believe. Otherwise it was some fantastical tale about a woman who murdered her parents because somebody told her to. 

But if you- if an Avenger- testified to the truth about mind control… told the world that you’d been mind controlled by the same person... if you told your story… 

“There isn’t a jail in the world that can hold Kilgrave. This isn’t about catching him. So you still have some work to do. But right now this girl needs you. You already failed her once.” Jess put her hand over the picture and then pushed herself up to stand, taking the bottle with her. Leaving you there. Staring at Hope. But just halfway away from the table she stopped. Her voice was a lot quieter. “You made a choice. Maybe there’s no telling if it was the right or wrong one. We’ll never know. But right now, for Hope, there is only one right choice. Don’t let her down.” 

The door to the bar opened and closed and you knew your window was closing. It was too much to ask that you be allowed to just sit there in silence to collect your thoughts. To get yourself together. Or even think about any of this. Taking Hope’s picture, you folded it back up and stuck it in your pocket. Going over to the bar, you took your wallet out and put four twenties down on the bar. 

The man behind it, no doubt waiting for you to leave, arched a brow. “Want something fancy for the road?” 

Your smile was a twist of agony, you were sure. “Is a bartender allowed to ask me if I want a drink for the road?” 

At this he let go of a small breathy laugh. “Usually I wouldn’t, no. But your driver has been walking up and down my block and staring in my windows since you walked in. So I think you’re safe.” 

Pressing your lips together, you nodded a few times over with a duck of your head. Everyone knew who you were. Everyone knew your circle. Only more fuel to the fire that was the idea of going public. “Yeah, well… it’s for whatever bottle she just stole.” 

He shrugged. “Didn’t cost that much.” 

“For the trouble, then.” Giving him one last smile before you stepped away from the bar. 

He stopped you at the door. “Hey- listen… I really didn’t mean any disrespect.” 

You shook your head. “None taken. It’s okay. I get it. I’m not everyone’s taste.” At this point in your life, was it wrong to say you brought trouble wherever you went? Probably not. His position was easily understandable. 

He regarded you carefully, silent for a moment. “For what it’s worth, I think your people have been doing a good job protecting this city. And a lot of the programs you set up have been helping a lot of people.” 

“Could be doing better.” Unable to help yourself from stewing in your own guilt, still.

“So could everyone. You’re trying. That’s what counts.” He had no incentive to say this. He had no incentive to be nice to you. There was no doubt that he’d heard you and Jessica talking. He could have easily taken her side, drawn conclusions. Yet he hadn’t. And was standing there. Talking to you like a normal person. Being kind. 

Your smile was a little easier then, but it didn’t quell the darkness stirring inside you. “It was good to meet you.” Holding your hand out. “Mr.?” 

“Just call me Luke. And likewise.” His hand was much larger than yours, but his handshake was gentle. “...but if it’s not too much trouble to ask…” Hesitant but in an amused sort of way. 

You really couldn’t help your grin then. “Don’t worry. I won’t be back.” 

“I wasn’t gonna ask you to not come back. Just… not like that next time. If you do.” You know. Rolling up in your expensive car with your driver and a loudmouth angry woman who was walking around with a justifiable vendetta.

Yeah. Made sense. Just as a little laugh left you, the door of the bar opened pointedly. Tony on the other side. The two of you locked eyes before you sent an apologetic but humorous look up Luke’s way. “Not like that either, I take it.” 

“Definitely not.” Turning away then. 

You decided to stop troubling Luke and leave his bar. Tony put an arm around you as soon as you came over to him, walking you out onto the sidewalk. You drew the logical conclusion. “Happy call you?” “Yeah.” 

“Was he panicking?” “When does he not?” 

“Were you panicking?” 

“Only a little. But I’ll deny it, if anyone else asks.” In front of the car he stopped, putting his hands on your shoulders, looking at you. Taking stock of you. “...what about you?” 

You okay? Unspoken. But so clearly heard. 

It took a great deal of strength to not crumble where he was clearly giving you permission to do so, now that he was here. You were always safe with him. But… “Let’s talk about it at home.” 

“Yeah. Got it.” 

Now as to how you’d explain all this…? 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 122

It was your sure surprise the very next morning, when WHiH ran an exclusive story about Fisk and his vision for Hell’s Kitchen. You would have thought he’d want nothing to do with them, but then again… he’d probably just been trying to bait you. There were still so many questions you had about this entire ordeal, but… Tony had said not to overreact. And that he’d look into it. So that meant he would, and you shouldn’t worry about it. 

Which was ideal. Because you had almost too many things to do, having double-booked yourself for lunch- twice, uptown, downtown, then uptown and downtown, and then midtown later for an interview. And before all that you had a few morning meetings to get to in similarly too many places. It didn’t leave a lot of time for you to say good morning or even goodbye to Tony as you rushed out. 

He was awake, of course. Working. But not in the lab. Distracted by this freshly new dangerous thing the two of you had seemingly gotten wrapped up in. You were only able to impart a meager kiss, one that was easy to tell he tried to drag out. But you simply couldn’t, a sorrow that you passed to him and promised to make it up later. 

Then you were off. 

A weird feeling followed you around most of the day. Though you were in and out of your car between each point of contact, it felt like- ...well. It wasn’t unusual for people to be watching you. Looking at you. Most likely paparazzi. Tourists recognizing who had just walked by their line of sight. Fans. That sort of thing. That had mostly become background noise in your daily life. 

But this was something different. You chalked it up to an overactive imagination and the lingerings of adrenaline after coming face to face with one of the darker shadows of New York City. But- ...but… 

The more you focused in, as you walked from the car- pointedly a few times to grab more coffee than you could handle at whatever cafe was nearby- no. Someone was definitely following you. And the more you tried to talk yourself out of it, the more time you lost to do anything about it. 

Quadruple lunch meetings had come and gone. A sturdier chill had set in as the sun had gone down. It was dark- and you were heading into the CNN building for a live interview- and someone was waiting outside. All of this you had to shove deep down because you couldn’t appear antsy on television, even if the CNN anchors were more friend than foe. You tried to forget about it for the next two hours as you prepped and then went on. But it was there. Lingering in the back of your mind. 

You thought to call Tony, as soon as you gave everyone a handshake and exited to the green room. Tony would come and get you. Tony would keep you safe. But if you were overreacting? What then? You’d be wasting his time… but if not? What then? What if Fisk had hired someone to follow you? 

What if Fisk was setting up some grand plan. Moving chess pieces. Clearly  Tony had covered for you at the gala last night. And anyone with eyes knew Tony would practically do anything for you. A thread a few had followed in the past. Liability that you sometimes were. But what if it was more than that? 

What if Fisk could orchestrate a murder? Tony was too smart for that, you reasoned. He’d see through something like that. Fisk couldn’t manipulate Tony that way. Use his anger as an outlet for whatever pretend greater-good he thought he was doing. Yet… it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, was it? 

And someone had been following you around- 

“LUNA, call Tony-” 

You had been waiting outside the building, pondering this all, and watched these words solidify in the air when someone grabbed your arm and a noise just short of a shriek escaped you-

A noise that startled Tony on the other end of the line. He shouted something unintelligible- your mind was racing too hard to hear him as you whirled on your heel, arm up to strike- 

“Hey!” Steve backed off immediately. “I’m sorry-! I didn’t-” 

“Steve what the fuck!” Your heart was racing a million miles a second. 

He put both his hands up. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to frighten you-” 

In your ear, Tony’s voice furthered your embarrassment. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

Trying to steady yourself, you shook your head at no one in particular. “Sorry, Tony.” Making it clear, as you held your hand up to press a few fingers at your earpiece. “I thought I was being followed. Turns out it was just Steve.” 

“I wasn’t following you.” Frowning heavily now. 

“Do I need to come down there?” “No, I’m fine. Sorry to bother you.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll leave you to it.” The line silenced out. 

Steve crossed his arms. “You alright? I know you weren’t expecting me but you-” 

“What the hell are you doing outside of CNN at eight PM? And why are you grabbing me?” Why was he here? 

He looked at you in frustrated disbelief. “I didn’t grab you- I touched your arm- I called your name but you didn’t seem to hear me. I startled you- I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to. Is everything alright?” 

So. He’d been watching you from… somewhere, for some reason- seeing you stand on the sidewalk in front of a building, probably staring off into space. He’d called out to you- you’d ignored him. Or been so in your own head that you just hadn’t heard him. Which would probably indicate something was off. 

You tried to get your agitations to dissipate. There was no value being upset with him. He really hadn’t done anything wrong. ...except… “It’s alright- I’m sorry. Just- what are you doing here?” Had he been following you around all day? Was that what you’d been feeling? ...god you hoped not. 

He struck a keenly defensive pose. “What- I can’t have business in the city, too?” And when you made a face at him, lips quirked in a pout and brows raised, he dropped his shoulders with a sigh. “Alright. I was just coming out of a dinner date.” 

“Oh?” Interest piqued immediately. 

“Don’t. It didn’t go well.” The tiny burst of blue from him seemed to suggest this was all true. Not that you thought Steve would lie to you. 

“Oh.” Now you felt extra bad. Steve had had a rough night and had been trying to talk to you and you’d basically screamed at and attacked him- and almost called Tony on him. What a mess. You gave him a little nudge. “Well. If you believe in fate…” 

“I’m not sure I do.” Though he perked up with a small smile. 

You shrugged. “Me either. But. How about some dessert? You can tell me all about her.” It would be terribly nice to have some normal after this entire shitfest. 

He seemed to warm almost immediately. “I’d like that.” 

A dessert date to cap off your night. Not the worst thing in the world. 

                                                  --- 

You took Steve to a not-so-secret place, which may have been a major folly, but it was close to the Tower. So less of a walk home. Which was what you wanted. While you were over the idea that Steve had been following you around (happy coincidences could happen sometimes, right?), you still had that lingering feeling that someone had been keeping their eyes on you all day. 

Calling ahead eased at least some of the attention as you took a private booth in the back. Aside ordering and refreshing drinks, the two of you were left mostly alone while he bumbled through trying to explain that dinner date hadn’t really been a date. 

Sharon Carter was the woman he’d been seeing this evening- a name that rang familiar instantly. “-she was one of the very first people who came to see you. After that mess at the Triskelion.” You hadn’t looked much into her after that, figuring she must have just been someone Steve had gotten friendly with during his time in DC. 

“Oh, yeah?” Clearly not having known that. He probably hadn’t been conscious during her time there. “Makes sense. She was put right next to my apartment by Fury. Keeping an eye on me.” 

“How like him.” Trying not to ruin the evening, but unable to help your massively dry tone. “Even knowing that- you’re okay with her?” Sounded like… even though the woman was just doing her job, she’d still been spying. 

He gave an uneasy shrug, sticking his fork deep into a piece of three-layer cake. “She was just following orders. Besides. Didn’t you just tell me after the job was done she came to check on me?” 

You couldn’t help a light smile. “I guess I did. ...so what went wrong?” 

“I’m not sure.” Said on a sigh. “She’s working for the CIA now.” 

“How nice.” 

“-said she was in town. Asked if I had time to meet up. But, when we sat down it was…” He struggled a little. Stewing lightly. 

“...awkward?” 

Looking up from his thoughts, he caught your gaze and then nodded. “I guess you could say that. I might’ve said uncomfortable, but… I don’t know who I’m being unfair to by saying it.” A small pause that finally led to, “I guess I don’t really know how to talk to girls.” 

“Maybe you two just need some more time together.” Trying to look on the bright side of things. He wouldn’t have said yes to a dinner if he didn’t like her in some capacity. And Steve deserved someone nice. 

“I think you’re being a little too optimistic.” Showing a shade of shyness, as his eyes dropped with a shake of his head, grinning. Although in a self-deprecating way. 

You tipped your head to the side, eyebrow arched. “What do you mean by that?” 

“I’m not uh��” Sitting in a small heap in his seat, like someone had cut his tensed muscles slack. At ease with being genuine with you, even if it wasn’t working out in his own favor. “It’s probably just me. I’m not- uh…” When you continued to stare at him, waiting for him to find whatever the hell he was trying to say, his grin turned a little bashful as he crossed his arms. “I’m no Tony Stark. Let’s put it that way.” 

The laugh that ejected out of you surprised the both of you, and you had to raise your hand to cover your mouth. “I’m sorry- I’m not- I’m not laughing at you-” 

He was grinning a little more fully then as he set his arms on the table, leaning forward to give you a look of implication. “Sure you’re not.” 

“Really! Really I’m not.” Trying to get your giggles under control. Reaching over you laid your hand atop his, giving him a little pat-pat. “No one’s asking you to be Tony Stark, Steve. Some girls- a lot of women in fact- don’t like the whole suave playboy thing. I didn’t.” 

“Uh huh.” Sassing you just a little. 

“I didn’t!” Trying to defend yourself. “Stop looking at me like that!” Giving his hand a little swat then. “I didn’t-” 

“You know, there’s a saying about protesting too much-” 

“Oh shut up.” Not meaning it in the slightest. The look you two shared was an easy warm one, all smiles. “It was gross. We didn’t start dating until he grew out of that. Check my timeline, if you have to.” 

He waved his hand at you. “I trust you.” 

“Yeah. Well. Anyway. A lot of women don’t like that.” 

“And what do women like? I’m pretty sure I have no idea.” Open again as he looked to you for some sort of catch-all answer. 

“Depends on the woman.” There just was no straight answer. No god-send that he was looking for. But when he implored you with those soft blue eyes of his, you couldn’t help but try. “I dunno. We like… someone genuine. And kind. Trustworthy… loyal… funny- you know- all things you’ve got in spades.” Trying just to give him a little boost. He seemed so down about his bad not-a-date. 

“Right. ...you think I’m funny?” 

“If I’d been drinking a minute ago, it would have come out of my nose.” It was nice, the soft laughter the two of you shared. You gave his hand another comforting pat before retreating so you could pick at your own slice of pie. “And you’re just fine, you know. Talking to women. You talk to me just fine.” 

Hesitancy circled around him. “You’re different. I’ve known you a lot longer. Some things are just… easier.” 

“Well I said maybe you two need more time together. You just need to get a little more comfortable, that’s all.” Hoping that was the case. It would suck to be wrong- more for Steve than for you. 

“I don’t know.” Another sigh. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s just not meant to be.” Another ripple of sorrow touched over him. 

“Her? Or at all?” Already knowing exactly what he was getting at. 

His eyes dropped. “Maybe I already missed my opportunity.” 

There was a name here. Neither of you needed to speak it. Because you just couldn’t help yourself, you reached over again, settling both your hands over his then. You waited until he looked up at you. “I’m not Dr. Linnet, but, there’s definitely a lot of trauma and grief that you need to go through, before you feel comfortable. But- you went to see Sharon- you wanted to see her tonight. Even if it didn’t go right, that’s already more than enough to know that you want a chance to… not even start over. But. Just continue. You deserve to live too, you know? You deserve a life.” 

It was the easiest thing in the world to be gentle with him. Steve was tough, but he was also an incredibly soft soul. You’d figured that out a while ago. He had a lot he needed to process. You hoped he was going to therapy. His life had not been a fair or easy one. And he was clearly still holding on to a lot. But he shouldn’t be denied anything, because of what he’d had to leave behind. 

His eyes held steady on your hands over his, and then lifted, holding your gaze in silence for a little too long. But you let him, under the pretense that he was trying to think about all this. And when apparently he came to a conclusion, he drew a deep breath in and then let it out, his hand turning palm up to grasp yours lightly. A smile wasn’t too far behind. “Thanks. For all that. And… maybe you’re right.” 

“I am right.” Wedging just a little bit of levity in to ease the air. 

When he huffed out a laugh you supposed it worked. “Yeah. Maybe.” 

“You say maybe again and I’m gonna start charging.” Teasing him a little. 

He grinned again, in a lighter way, still staring at you. His mouth opened- the drop of your name quiet- almost a little hesitant- 

But it was so quiet that it got lost as the waitress approached, calling you at the same time. The both of you looked up. She was terribly uneasy and nervous- “Ma’am, I’m sorry… I’m not sure which of our patrons- I just wanted to let you know there’s a lot of people with cameras parked on the sidewalk outside.” 

Annoyance took a dark hold of you. “Fucking paparazzi.” Mood ruined. Couldn’t you ever have anything nice? Couldn’t you just be a normal fucking person? Go out with your friends without security? “Alright- just- can we have the check- and we’re going to need to leave around back.” 

She nodded helplessly. Not like she could say no. “Of course. Again- I’m sorry.” 

You waved her off. “It’s not your fault. It’s okay. Don’t panic. Everything will be alright. I really appreciate you letting me know.” At least you hadn’t walked right into a trap. It was easy to figure out exactly what had leaked to them. You and Steve had gone out for dessert at a classy restaurant all alone and had been laughing and smiling at each other all night. 

Because nobody understood what close friendships looked like these days. 

As she left Steve sat a little more straight in his seat. “What should we do?” 

“I’m gonna call Tony to come pick us up. Happy’s already out for the night.” Knowing your pick up at CNN was the last thing on his to-do list before he was off. He’d come get you, of course, if you asked. Without a word. But he deserved time to himself, too. “We’ll go out through the back and wait. No big deal.” Trying your very best to make it seem like that was the case. But… 

“Isn’t it?” 

“It’s not-”

“You seem pretty angry.” 

This stopped you immediately and you couldn’t help but feel awful. Your frown was immediate. “I’m sorry. It just- it sucks, you know? I’m so fucking tired of having to call security to watch my perimeters. I’m tired of having to worry about what story is gonna come out in the gossip mags the next morning. Not being able to go anywhere I want- having to ignore people taking sneak pictures of me- I just… I want a life too, you know?” Grinning then, although in a terribly frustrated way. 

He returned it. “Yeah. Yeah, I get it.” 

You hoped your smile got across your gratitude for his understanding. Deciding to try and look like a normal person, you went for your cell phone in your bag instead of quick calling him with your earcuffs. The waitress came back and laid the bill on the table- but Steve batted at your hand and then grabbed it up with a look of don’t try me- so you didn’t, instead rolling your eyes fondly and calling Tony instead. 

He picked up on the second ring. “I’m very popular tonight, it seems.” 

“Yeah, me too. Steve and I got caught at a dessert place. Apparently cars are parked everywhere on the sidewalk. If I send you the location can you please come pick us up around back?” Asking, not demanding.

“For you? Anything- well- for you and a slice of cherry pie.” 

“I’ll pick one up before we go.” 

“Thank you, honey. I’ll be there in ten. I love you.” “I love you, too. Thank you.” Knowing he’d already tapped your location, you put your phone away and quickly raised a hand to the waitress before she scurried off with Steve’s cash. “Can we actually get a piece of cherry to go?” 

                                                 ---

Steve was a little too tight by your side, in a protective mood it seemed, as the manager escorted you through the kitchen, out into a private hall, and then through the back of the building to the backside. She asked if you wanted her to stay, but you told her you’d both be fine to wait outside, so she excused herself, apologized for the trouble, and then closed the door- you also heard her lock it behind herself. But. You supposed that was fair. 

A chill crept up your spine. It was still pretty cold outside this early in February. “Tony said he’d be here soon.” 

“I don’t doubt it.” Steve crossed his arms, looking left and then right. 

That weird feeling came back very suddenly, and had you stepping closer towards him. Steve hadn’t been following you around- someone far more opportunistic did. Seeing as it only took you a single minute to leave the building for them to drop down from a fire exit ladder on the opposite building. Despite yourself- despite knowing you could handle this- despite knowing better- for some reason you defaulted. 

Maybe it was just because this man- this man in black- had absolutely been fucking following you around all day. You knew it then. This crushing feeling of anxiety eating you up as you tucked yourself closer to Steve, grabbing at his arm as the man stood. He really was going all in on the masked marauder look. Black pants. Black shirt. Black gloves with wraps- but strangely he was hiding his eyes. Quite literally. Bandana tucked over his head and blindfold tied tight around his eyes. 

Steve’s fight-or-flight kicked immediately, and he half stepped in front of you, one arm out. “Hey- I don’t know what you think you’re doing pal, but-” 

“I’m not here for you. I just want to speak to her.” Voice unfamiliar. 

You felt Steve’s protest bubbling up but you stopped it with a firm voice, “You’ve been following me around all day.” An air of uncertainty suddenly swirled around this masked man. Maybe he thought you were stupid. “That’s right. You think I didn’t notice you?” Trying even harder. He hadn’t followed you around in daylight looking like this. If you could convince him you knew who he was-

“I don’t have a lot of time.” Side-stepping the issue. “I’m here to tell you to stop what you’re doing with Fisk.” 

“I’m not doing anything with Fisk.” 

“You were at his charity event.” Stepping just a little closer.

Both you and Steve held your ground as you spoke again. “I go to a lot of charity events. So what?” No need to overtly defend yourself. To say you didn’t know he’d been the one hosting it. You owed this man nothing. “If you were smart-” If he was smart, he’d know you and Tony would never get involved with Fisk. 

“Either way. Stay out of it.” 

You bristled. “You think I don’t know what he’s up to? What he is?” Or probably more accurately, what he did to people.  “Or do you think I’m just a helpless moron hoping he’s not?”

The man shook his head, light smirk on the corner of his mouth. “I’m not asking you to rely on some forsaken sense of mercy he does not possess. This is personal. And I don’t need your intervention.” 

“Who the hell do you think you are? You follow me around all day just to blow up my dinner, corner me in an alley, and demand I stay out of your way? You have no idea who you’re dealing with.” You would not be pushed around. It was obvious, now, that he was behind this. He’d gotten lucky with Steve. But fortune favored the bold.

And he certainly was a bold one. 

“Neither do you.” 

Tony’s voice called from the sidewalk, “Hey, Dread Pirate Roberts. I’d back off, if I were you.” Both you and Steve turned to look- the man in the mask did not. Tony was posing, car door open, half leaning on it. “Situation’s not looking like it’s gonna go your way.” 

The man suddenly wore a very bitter grin. “Good. You’re here. Easier to get this across once. Fisk intends to rain fire on Hell’s Kitchen. And I don’t need help. So I’m telling you-” 

Hands in his pockets, Tony sauntered a little closer. Seemingly terribly unbothered. “Would help if I were in more of a listening mood, but. I’ve yet to have my dessert, so. You’ll have to try again later.” 

“Do you people do nothing but stand around and quip?” He was getting agitated. 

“Fisk knows what you’re up to.” You said suddenly. “I’m pretty sure you’re a huge thorn in his side right now.” 

“Good. And I should be the only one.” 

Finally stopping in front of you and Steve (and you felt the heaviness of Steve’s confusion mixed with frustration about being left out on this one), Tony directed a tip of his head the man’s way. “So what’re you doing here, then? Menacing a woman and an army vet in an alley? For shame.” From his pocket he pulled a USB stick and held it up. “First one’s free.” 

The man didn’t even look at it. ...had he moved his head even once since he’d dropped in front of you? “I don’t need your help, Stark.” 

Tony grinned. “Of course not. That’s what they all say. But better safe than sorry- especially if you’re getting involved with Fisk. If he doesn’t go the murder route- which he probably will- he might try and bring the law into it. Vigilantism is illegal, for the most part. Something I’m sure you understand. And I'm sure he'd love to make an example out of you. If you get into trouble- and you will- I might be in a good mood. Stark Industries is pretty in the know for great lawyers these days.” Staring him down- ...if he could even see through that mask. Tony waited, letting the moment hang before waggling the stick. “Understood?” 

The fire that the man in black had dropped in with had been completely extinguished so suddenly. Killed so easily by something Tony had said. A certain fear gripped him. Icy and painful. Reaching up he took hold of the USB. “Understood.” Resentment and bitterness bubbled out of him as he turned and jumped up to catch the ladders he’d come down on, climbing and then twisting his way up higher and higher until he was out of sight on the rooftop. 

Just when you felt like you were catching your breath, Steve settled his hands on his hips. “Anyone gonna tell me what that was about?” 

Tony shrugged. “Superhero world’s getting bigger all the time.” 

Steve made a face at him. “Who is Fisk? And who was that?” 

You put a gentle hand on his arm. “Let’s get back to the Tower. I think we’ve done enough talking about this out in the open.” 

His ire backed off as he looked at you. “Yeah. Alright. ...this the word I was waiting to hear back on? Because it’s a little late.” Ribbing you. But… taking it a little personally, too. 

Tony sighed. “Better late than never.”