#INY Chapter One Hundred Nine

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 109 [Begin: Interlude]

The first quarter meeting had been delayed by unfortunate circumstances this year. What with its two CEOs mixed up in Avengers superhero business and the downfall of a huge government agency which was hiding a Hydra conspiracy inside of it… things had to understandably be put on the back burner until the end of January. So now that you and Tony were a little bit more free and clear, you decided to host a bigger conference than normal. You had your own presentation to give inside of it, for the Board more than anyone else, but at the same time you could run the project updates from the other departments and see where development were on several other key things. 

These sort of things were always nerve wracking, no matter if you were confident in the works you had started. Even if it ended up that the Board disagreed or didn’t like what was going on, they would never have the balls to start organizing another movement for removal. For either you or Tony. After what had happened last time… and now that the two of you were certifiable public darlings and heroes- they’d never do that again. It would be against their own interests. 

Yet, still, knowing this, you had a two hour long presentation about your projects and initiatives. Some that went years back. It was hard to hold a room for that long, you knew. But the information needed to be out and in the light of day so that Stark Industries could move forward into the new year. Tony helped you prepare… the best he could, anyway, and he sat front row for you while you took the stage. 

You went through each with power points that you and Pepper had put together late into the night the day before. Starting with the Clean Planet Initiative that had started the moment Tony had shut down the weapons division of Stark Industries and spanning the power up of the Tower everyone was currently sitting in. That was going all well and good. Of course. Running smoothly, the Tower was still sustaining itself, and Stark Industries had been able to credit itself with the reduction of air pollution, with plastic waste reduction, with fuel efficiency regulations, and new clean energy production. Stark Industries’ teams in that area had also begun their last phase of their Intellicrops project, which was something they’d present near the end of the conference. 

Then came the update on the Disaster Relief Funds for both the Expo and the Battle of New York. After the initial snafu of having terrible staff that had had to be replaced, things had been running a little bit more smoothly. Though the funds had not run dry, their usage had gone down- which was a great sign. It meant people were no longer relying on Stark Industries for help. Life was returning back to normal. Not particularly important to people like the Board, but the mentions of the oodles of tax credits the company could still claim and the boost to PR through all this was a little bit more substantial to their tastes.

A lengthy chunk of time was dedicated to Damage Control’s reports about the clean up portion of New York. You made sure to include that you’d broken off a portion of the team to go assess and clean up DC, and that the warehouses were scheduled to go under a revamp after you’d been forced to purchase more property for them to operate. Company bloat would always be a thing to be mindful of, but when that bloat consisted of deadly weapons… someone needed to go through every single shelf to make sure things were not only accounted for, but to determine whether or not those very same things were worth holding on to. 

After that you gave the update on the Hansen Foundation. Still up and running strong. Though it had mostly assisted and helped the veterans that had been hurt by AIM’s malicious intentions, you and Tony had expanded it to care for the nation’s veterans that were otherwise not getting the help they needed. Going well, smoothly, and in the light of mentioning the funds needed for the Foundation, you again brought up the tax breaks and stock boosts that came from having someone like Colonel Rhodes on advisory staff. It had been a huge face lift for Stark Industries. Putting its past behind it and moving forward to navigate the damage it may have taken part in. 

...especially after the SHIELD leaks had informed the public that Obadiah Stane had been selling weapons to America’s enemies for fun and profit… yes, this foundation out of all of them was probably the most important one to have as a full face right now. 

The last two points of business were two of your newest initiatives: M and OAT. It was a little early to be reporting on either of them in a financial capacity, but the public returns had already been great and, as you convinced everyone, very cost effective. The net gain would far outweigh whatever dollar amount ended up being on the end of this year’s reports. You were very sure of that. With OAT came the mention that you and Tony were looking to buy up another building- perhaps in DC, but not sure yet, to accommodate the expansion of Stark Industries and its brand new employees. Scouting would have to be done soon, something you said you were looking forward to. 

With that you opened the floor for questions, whether from the Board or the teams that had been invited to this big meeting. There had been… many. More than you would have liked. And more than you needed about topics not exactly pertinent to your presentations. Many of them having to do with the SHIELD leaks, of course, and your and Tony’s various… dealings. It wasn’t hard to put the voices to bed, and direct them to any of the multitude of reports that already existed. As for if any of them would negatively impact the company, you had personally already seen to that your and Tony’s motives would not be questioned. 

After that very public spat with Christine, the general consensus was that you were doing your job- as a superhero and businesswoman. Were someone to look up to. Were someone that people agreed with, in every poll that had come out about it. Stark Industries had remained untouched. So whether or not you should have blown up that way (you were kind of the mind that you maybe shouldn’t have and should have remained dignified about it) didn’t matter anymore. You had and the public was loving it. 

Christine had retreated into a hole. Calls had stopped. Her portion of the media that followed you and Tony around like hawks had disappeared. That spelled trouble, you were sure. She’d been smacked pretty hard for all to see. There was no way she was going to take that without repercussions. You just hoped… she wouldn’t do something drastic. Better not to think about it, for the moment. 

Once your portion of the conference was finished, you thanked everyone and as usual, made a small speech about looking forward to the year ahead. After that, you excused yourself off the presentation stage in the theater, wanting to take a moment just to breathe after speaking for so long. Even though you hadn’t seen him get up, it didn’t surprise you to see Tony waiting for you behind the curtain, bottle of chilled water in hand. 

The next presenter was already taking the stage as he smiled at you. “Great stuff. You really have a talent for getting people to eat out of your hand.” 

“You know, I think one of the members of the Board said that to me a long time ago.” Hard to remember it, now. Although the part of your brain that held on to all things painful reminded you that that moment had not been a good one. 

“They’re not wrong.” As you took the water from him and sipped at it gingerly, he put an arm around your waist. “What’d’you think? Time to cut and run?” 

“That would be very rude to the other presenters.” While this grand meeting would be summarized in reports that you would go over later anyway… it was better for appearance to sit through and smile. 

“Hm. Yeah. Well. Then we have a problem.” Humming sardonically. When you looked up at him he grinned. “It may also be very rude to the waitstaff at Ivy Lane if we bail on our reservation.” 

You settled a hand on his chest with a playfully light push. “You mean your reservation. I had no part in that.” 

“It was for two.” 

“Guess you’ll have to get Bruce to go.” 

“Busy.” 

“So am I.” 

The exchange left the two of you lightly smirking at one another, probably all too obvious you’d give in very soon. He helped speed matters along by lifting the hand you’d laid over his heart, pressing a kiss to the back. “Come on. Little celebration dinner never hurt anyone.” 

“Technically the conference isn’t over. Celebrating early might invite chaos…” Lilting lightly as you half leaned up. 

“I can handle chaos- especially restaurant chaos. What’s the worst they can do. Burn my chicken? Spill my wine?” 

“Let’s not tempt fate, darling.” Shifting completely forward to press a small kiss to his lips. 

It was interrupted all too soon by a clearing of someone’s throat. And when the two of you broke and turned, you saw Happy standing behind you. He hooked a thumb towards the exit door. “Car’s ready.” 

You feigned annoyance back up at Tony. “I didn’t even say I would go.” 

“But you will. Call me crazy, but, I’m pretty sure I know you by now.” 

That damnable boyish charm of his, with that beautiful wry smile… you wondered if Tony Stark was aware of just how much he had you wrapped around his finger. You only hoped the feeling was mutual, as the two of you made your quiet escape. And hoped that no one noticed. Or saw. Or cared. 

                                                     ---- 

As luck would have it, the night after that went perfectly fine. No one burned Tony’s food, no one spilled any drinks on you. Though he didn’t reserve the whole restaurant, the two of you had a back table all to yourselves. It was nice to just be together, to just spend some time together after everything. Really, it was starting to feel like falling into a bit of a routine that way. 

Something terrible and seemingly world-ending would come down upon you, Tony, and the team. You’d all figure it out. Clean up would start. And then eventually you and Tony would pretend you knew what normal life looked like for a little while. Enjoy each other’s company. And then… something else bad would happen. 

It made the moments you shared, like that, precious. But it also… served to fuel your anxiety. How many more times would big terrible things happen? How many more storms would you have to weather? 

While you had decided, coming into your realization, that you didn’t want to ruin the evening, he caught your eyes in the lowlights of flickering candles, and his smile disappeared. Settling his hand over yours, “You okay?” 

Your smile was somewhat bittersweet. “That obvious?” 

“Always.” Such a strong and resolute statement drove a stake of warmth through your churning worries. 

But it wasn’t enough to kill them. “I don’t wanna ruin the night. I just… for a second couldn’t help but think about how we always end up here. After something nasty. Like we’re caught in an endless cycle.” 

His eyes lowered, thinking. There was a soft silence before he started nodding lightly. “Yeah. ...I’m still in the planning phases, of this whole defense idea, but. I think I can get Banner in by June and start putting in the real work.” 

This was not where you wanted to put his mind right now, but now that you’d forced him there, you had no choice. “I know we’ve talked about it but could you just… as simple as possible give me what your “defense idea” is?” Before it had been assistance. Something to help the Avengers. But now… 

“It would be nice. Kinda far fetched, but. I work best on lofty ideals.” Smiling just a little. “-anyway, what I’m getting at… I’m willing to put in the time and effort- to something that… lets us go home.” 

“Is that an option?” 

“I’m still in the very rough draft phases, but-” 

You turned your hand over in his so that you could give him a squeeze. “I’m not asking if you could build something. I have no doubt in my mind that you could figure out something- even something that big. I’m asking… even if you did…” 

“Would we be able to stop?” A breath left him, and he slid his fingers between yours, just holding on. His eyes dropped again. “If you’re asking me that, you already know the answer. But. In terms of incremental steps. Monitoring a situation is better than being on the front lines.” 

Monitoring. You imagined, he meant this, from somewhere safe. Wasn’t that what this was all about? There were levels of this. To build something that would allow you to pretend you could lead normal lives. To build something that would protect the earth from the things he saw up in space, and the things he thought would eventually come to earth to wreak more havoc. But, on top of it all… 

Somewhere inside you, you heard the broken plea he’d made the night before your house in California had been blown up. 

Threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

Taking a breath, you tried to level the both of you out, and aimed a quieter smile his way. “When you say lets us go home, what is it you’re envisioning?” 

He blinked twice, having to shift gears to acquiesce that kind of question. But, once he was there, the quirk in the corner of his lips was considerably wry. “Are you asking me where I see us?” 

“In… five years.” 

“Am I being interviewed?” Grinning, then. 

You returned the expression. “If it helps to think of it that way, then sure.” 

“Alright. Five years…” Breathing out, eyes going up quickly in thought. As if he was looking at something- the picture he had in his mind. “New house. Something- comfortable. I think I’m aging out of my whole playboy billionaire estate vibe.” 

“Thank god for that.” 

For one reason or another this got a little laugh out of him, a drop of his head. When his eyes returned to yours, he lifted your joined hands, shifting forward so that he could rest the back of yours against his cheek. “Even though it seems like it’s not up to me- I’d hope by then you’ll settle for marriage.” 

“Settle, huh? That’s a terrible pitch. You’re doing a disservice to yourself, you know.” 

“If that’s how you feel, I’ll have them bring out a slice of cake with a ring in it right now.” 

While you didn’t think he had something like that set up, you also knew if you gave him even the barest notion that that was what you wanted, he’d absolutely make it happen in fifteen minutes. He was ready to jump for you, whenever you were ready. That’s what he was saying. It put a squeeze in your heart. “Tony…” 

“Oh that sounds bad.” Teasing, even knowing defeat was coming, smiling even still. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” 

“We’re off to a good start.” 

“Just- right now…” You sighed, and he mirrored it, looking the exact kind of crestfallen yet understanding that really broke your heart. “Right now is not the right time.” 

He nodded, and then pressed a little closer to your hand. “But. In five years?” 

Your brows went up. “Did you just turn the tables on me?” 

“I was sure you’d be used to that by now.” 

Untangling your fingers from his, you turned your hand, resting his cheek in your palm. Just holding him. Dearly. Lovingly. Eyes watching his. “In five years… yes. I’d like a home with you. I’d like to build a life with you. And… yes. Be married to you.” 

“Okay.” He murmured, looking at you. Adoration shone in his eyes, radiated between you, twined with that ever present and deep feeling of love. That he had only for you. “In five years.” 

Hearing him at that moment, make a promise. A promise to try and find a way to cull that self same chaos in your lives. The uncertainty. Not only for the world. But for the both of you. So that the two of you could have a life together. “I love you, Tony.” 

His smile was so beautiful. “I love you, too.” Reaching up to hold your hand there against his face, turning lightly, to press a kiss to your palm. “More than anything.” 

                                                    ----

A light rain had started to fall and it was terribly chilly outside, but after your meal you and Tony decided it might be nice to just take a little walk in the rain. Happy provided the both of you with an umbrella, and at your request set a moving security perimeter of twenty feet, him ten behind, just to keep cameras at bay. It sucked, that you were having to do that increasingly more, but this life came with that territory. 

Tony was holding the umbrella over the both of you, his other arm preoccupied, twined with yours as you laid your head against him. The city at least seemed quiet, not even in the superficial way that your security was creating. It was just… nice. Even the cold was refreshing, in a way. The two of you had slipped into slightly broken and soft conversation about nothing important. 

It was hard to sense the subtle shift, lulled into that false sense of things being alright. Someone had been following the two of you. And it wasn’t until you heard Happy arguing with whoever it was that the both of you turned. 

A little too late as a woman put him over her shoulder and onto his back in a hard thump. She was short, black hair and very pale skin- and she was angry. Tony immediately moved just in front of you, “Please don’t touch my Happy.” Calling out to her. 

While she looked at him for a few seconds, her gaze skewed to you. “I don’t want trouble.” And after saying so, continued to give you the exact opposite idea as she came stomping your way. 

You couldn’t help but make a face at her. “Then you’re making a mistake.” Whoever she was, she was now just short of charging two of the most powerful people in the city. How she’d broken through security was a bit of an upsetting question- but- the two of you could handle yourselves. 

Said security had gotten the message that something was going down on their watch, and two of your Stark Industries strongmen came to her side. A car pulled up on the sidewalk. Tony opened the door for you, and put his arm around you to usher you inside. But, with one leg up and a hand on the door, you heard her call. “Hey-!” Whoever she was, the police could sort her out. Your plan was to leave. At least until she yelled again. 

“Hey, puppy!” 

It shot a tremor through you so violent you thought for a second the sidewalk must be shaking. Going in the car was no longer an option. Your body seemed to be moving on its own as you turned back to look at her. Your security was scattered on the sidewalk. 

“That’s what I thought. That’s you. Right?” 

Tony’s voice was so very far away. Muffled, as he called out, with a hand on your shoulder, “Honey-” 

The next motions came in swift chops. The yank of your jacket zipper. The double press of the Heart Reactor. Tony was yelling something behind you- as you’d started moving. Running at full speed. This woman was dangerous. And not only that- 

She was with him. 

Moving to a half leap to put all your momentum forward, you charged at her with a powerful punch. One she caught, both of her hands holding you at bay, gritting her teeth at you as the two of you struggled. “Listen to me-” Growling at you. 

“You work for him-” Growling right on back, zipping your eyes up along your HUD to get the helmet to release. You wanted to look into her eyes for this. To send a message to her- and him. You felt a snarl as you bore your teeth at her, “So you go back to him and tell him-” 

“I don’t work for that asshole. And he’s dead. No thanks to you.” 

That practically killed the fight in you almost immediately. The feeling of such raw and powerful guilt- of disgust and of wrath… you’d felt these things before. Easing up on your punch, even though she still held you in her palms, you narrowed your eyes at her. The heavy smell of liquor rolling off her was sickening. “What are you talking about?” 

“It’s you, right? At least tell me I’ve got that part down.” There was a smaller air of satisfaction. She scoffed with a dead-eyed half grin. “Yeah. He’s dead. I thought you should know.” Her eyes moved sideways and then she let you go, putting her hands up. “I did what I came here to do.” 

You realized the sound of a heavy thunk behind you too late. Tony had pulled a suit- probably from the car- and while this woman was strong... she was also probably no idiot. “Are we talking about-” 

“Kilgrave. If you even got that far. If you even cared.” She spit at you. Like this was… your fault, somehow. “I thought he was lying, you know. Not that it matters, he’s dead now. But he hurt a lot of people. Because you let him.” 

“You’re sure he’s dead?” 

She hung her head, a sarcastic bark of laughter leaving her. “Saw him got hit by a bus. Yeah. He’s pretty dead.” Then she looked up at you, and for a moment you weren’t sure you’d ever seen so much boiling hate- or felt so much- directed at you before. “Superhero my ass. You could’ve stopped him-” 

It riled you straight to your core. Even as you held up your hand to keep Tony at bay- from firing on this woman- you stared her down. “If we’re talking about the same monster, then you know I had no say in what I did.” 

“But you got out. And you let him continue to roam around. Because you’re a coward. Live with that for the rest of your life. Knowing he hurt so many other people. Knowing you could have done more. People are dead because of you.” Then she turned away in a half stumble, shoving aside one of your other security guards who had gotten to his feet. “Don’t touch me.” Barking at him, half falling over, catching herself, and then walking off. 

Your men were staring at you, waiting for direction- because two of the Iron People of the world were standing there, letting her get away. So clearly that meant they shouldn’t get involved. Right? “...ma’am?” 

Tony put a hand on your shoulder. “Honey.” 

With a shaky hand, feeling the earth shift beneath you, you reached up to deactivate the suit, and felt the slice of pouring rain suddenly coming down over you. The man that had taken you… one you’d promised vengeance on- the one you’d promised you’d make regret doing that- regret hurting others… also the one you ran from- such a dangerous, powerful man. The man who could command people with a single word. 

...had gotten hit by a bus. 

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you turned to Tony, unable to meet his eyes. “I need to go home.” 

“Yeah-” Clearly stunned and confused, having no earthly idea what the hell was going on. But wanting to heed your needs. 

Once the two of you were in the car with Happy behind the wheel, promising he was okay- and apologizing for letting that happen- you tuned everything else out except the patter of rain on the windows. 

Fury had been right. You should have gotten out of bed. You should have made an effort. Maybe you could have caught that man- Kilgrave, apparently. That did make you a coward. The woman was right. 

Stuck in traffic, fifteen minutes out from the Tower, you found your voice. “She said he’s dead.” 

Tony had his arm around you, the both of you soaking wet still. “Who?” 

“The one who took me.” 

The air in the back of the car became suffocating and dark. “...she sure about that?” 

“She wasn’t lying.” You knew it, now. Sensed it, as she was coming down on you. Everything she’d said was true. “She blamed me-” This escaping out of you in a hiccup as you reached up to press a hand to your forehead. 

“She was also drunk. Which. Excusable. Given the circumstances. But. Also skews her judgment.” He was trying to defend you. And much as you wanted to give in… 

“She called me a coward.” 

“What more proof do you need that she’s wrong?” When you didn’t- couldn’t- answer, he let a breath out. “...we’re really sure. That he’s dead? Who even is she? ...you’re sure she’s sure?” Double and triple checking. Wordlessly you nodded. “...how did she know about you?” 

“He must have… told her. I don’t know. He was a sick person.” 

“And he’s dead now. According to her.” Tony’s skepticism was understandable. This was such a terrible mark on both your lives. To have it come to a quick and unforeseeable, maybe even unknowable end… it was hard to believe. “...either way. I had JARVIS grab a scan.” 

“Why?” Finding enough strength to finally look up at him. 

“Seems like enhanced people are popping up everywhere, these days. Seeing as how she laid out our security and held a swing from you like Cap, I’m thinking it’s not a bad idea to keep an eye on things.” 

You weren’t sure how you felt about this. If she were anything like you- and it seemed like you had an uncomfortable amount in common… “I don’t want to spy on her.” 

“Nobody said spy. I’m not spying.” Defending himself quickly. 

“I believe her.” What she had been saying was true. You… were pretty sure about it. 

“Alright. So I believe you when you believe her. Doesn’t change the fact that a woman that angry and that boozed up could punch a hole through a regular person.” 

Your eyes dropped, thinking about this. ...he was right. And you weren’t sure how to feel about that. The two of you weren’t responsible for every single newly enhanced individual that showed up on the street. Not until they started menacing the general public, at least. Then it was sort of your problem.

But this woman had been taken by that man. Probably abused by him. No telling for how long. She was now angry and had a new sense of freedom. ...she was also self medicating with alcohol. And she had some pretty heavy firepower in her muscles. This was a dangerous cocktail. ...it also wasn’t fair to pigeonhole her. 

“SHIELD kept tabs on people, remember? And we didn’t like it. ...I’m- I agree with you. This situation is a little dicey but… let’s leave her alone. Until she decides what side of the fence she’s coming out on.” 

“I’m not trying to menace her.” There was a sudden blossom of blue in the backseat as he looked away. Guilt was very close. “...I remember. How you came out of that. I’ve got nothing but sympathy, alright?” Leaning in closer, you practically hid your face against the round of his shoulder, hand over his heart. Just clinging to him. He took a breath to even himself out. “We’ll stay worried about us. And our current situation.” Making a very valiant effort, he touched a hand over your wet hair, directing your attention his way, and tried a smile for you. “...and that five years will be here before you know it.” 

Out of all the ways you’d expected this evening to go… this wasn’t exactly the chaos you’d thought you were inviting. It wasn’t exactly the worst, either. But it… definitely sucked. 

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary - Chapter 58

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

The team meeting/breakfast is scheduled for nine am; out on the roof top patio of Tyler's hotel.  He's the last to arrive, hair still messy from sleep, laces of his boots undone, sunglasses covering his tired eyes.  He'd finally managed to fall asleep shortly before three am, only to wake up every hour on the hour in a panic, body drenched in a cold sweat because of the nightmarish images that his brain just couldn't shake.  He'd been dying for a drink; tempted by the unlocked mini bar in the corner of the room. The irrational side of his mind telling him that he'd be okay with just one or two. That he'd be able to just put the bottle down and walk away when he got even the smallest bit of buzz going on. Only to be talked out of it by the more mature and rational part; that he wouldn't be able to stop, that he'd drink until he was fall down drunk and then all of his progress, even in such a short period of time, would be for nothing. Instead he texted his wife and been brutally honest. That he was having a hard time and so close to slipping. That the situation in Christchurch was way worse than it originally seemed and he was legitimately scared; that he wasn't going to make it home to her and his kids. And she'd called him right away to talk him down. Never scolding or nagging. Just quiet and supportive. Strong.

It was six in the morning when they'd finally hung up. And he'd managed to fall into a somewhat restful sleep;  successfully talked down off the ledge,  both mind and body ready to let him rest. Then the phone had gone off at eight thirty and he'd immediately panicked; thinking that something had happened and he'd be needed to get home as soon as possible. Only to discover that it was the kids. They'd just gotten home and after an excited and joyful reunion with their mother, had wanted to call him.  Excitedly blabbering about all of the fun things they'd done with Ovi and Chloe while they were on 'vacation', all the cool new foods they got to try,  the trips to the zoo.  But they'd been sad too; they'd missed home and everything that came with it. All the toys and their own beds and their backyard and even the chickens and the goats.  Most of all, they'd missed their mom. Her kisses and her hugs and the way she cuts the crust off their sandwiches.  And they'd been hopeful when they'd seen her that it had meant he was home too.  Only to be heartbroken and disappointed when they found out he was still working.

So now he's late. By a mere five minutes. But he sees the way Mark glares at him as he approaches. There's no love lost between them. And Tyler seriously considers what Yaz had said the day before; about waiting until the job was over and then just dragging Mark out into the street and laying the beating of a lifetime on him.  

“All good?” Yaz asks, as Tyler takes a seat beside him, then slides a cup of steaming black coffee towards him.

“All good.”

“Things are okay at home? With...well you know...”

He nods. “Things are fine with that. She's fine. Kids finally got back. They called wanting to talk to me, so...”

Across the table, Mark gives a derisive snort, shaking his head as he pretends to be immersed in his menu.

“What the fuck now?” Tyler asks. “You have an issue with me talking to my kids?”

“We don't have time for you to be dealing your personal shit, Rake.”

“They're his kids,” Yaz forcefully reminds Mark. “Who he isn't seen in almost a month. He's not supposed to talk to his kids now? Get out of here with that shit. They wanted to talk to their dad. What is wrong with you?”

“You either leave your shit back home or you don't show up,” Mark reasons.

“They're kids,” Nathan pipes up.  “Little kids. They're not allowed to talk to their father?”

“We don't have time to be dealing with wives and girlfriends and kids and whatever the hell else.  Are we not here to work? How are we supposed to get any shit done when some of you are too busy dealing with personal crap? Stow that shit and get on with business.”

“Sounds like someone is just bitter they don't have a personal life to worry about,” Yaz remarks, as he goes back to his own menu.  “Because my sister was smart enough to move on to someone else.”

“There was never anything between me and your sister,” Mark informs him. “It was just...a thing...”

Tyler smirks.  “A thing, huh? So that's what the kids are calling phone sex these days.  Don't be mad, Mark. That some of us are actually having real sex while you're resorting to handling things on your own. We won't hold it against you. Just don't expect me to shake your hand though. I don't want to be touching something that's been attached to your dick.”

Yaz smirks and coughs noisily beside him.

“And I'll talk to my kids whenever the fuck I feel like it,” Tyler adds. “When I talk to my kids or my wife has nothing to do with you. Or is that what the real issue is? The fact that she's my wife and not yours. You fucked that up, buddy. That was over long before I came around. I'm just the one that cleaned up your goddamn mess.”

“Hey, if you like someone else's sloppy seconds, that's your business,” Mark retorts. “You two are made for each other. You're both fucking train wrecks.”

“Just admit you're pissed off that your ex moved on to bigger and better,” Yaz says. “That you screwed things up and now you've got to live with that and he gets to live with her. Not his fault you're a cheating, wife abusing bastard.”

“Cheating, narcissistic, wife abusing bastard,” Tyler corrects. “You left out narcissistic.  Just let it go, Mark. I'm not in the mood for your shit. I'm never in the mood for your shit. But especially not now. I haven't seen my kids in almost a month, my wife isn't doing well and just got out of the hospital, and I'm here putting up with your crap. So how about you just sit there and shut the fuck up.”

Mark frowns. “She was in the hospital? Why?”

“Oh now he's worried about her,”  Yaz scoffs. “Not when he was beating the shit out of her. But now. Now that she's with a guy that doesn't do that kind of shit.  Why was she in the hospital? How about it's none of your goddamn business.”

“She hasn't been feeling well and thought maybe there was a problems with the baby,” Tyler casually explains, sipping his coffee.

Mark's frown deepens. “Baby? What baby?”

“The one that I put inside of her almost four months ago. That baby.”

“Say what you want about the man, but he's got seriously talented sperm,” Yaz digs a playful elbow into his friend's ribs. “And lots to spare, apparently.”

Congratulations go up around the table; followed by his personal cell phone being passed around in order to proudly show off the ultrasound photos that his wife had sent to him. It isn't his first rodeo; he's been this round four times now. But each time feels just as amazing as the last; seeing the pictures, watching her grow bigger with their child, his child, thinking about how incredible it is that despite all of their issues, they managed to create another human being together.  And it's bittersweet in a way. That this will be the last one.  The last chance that he has to go through the experience with her yet he here is, thousands of miles away.

A waitress comes to take their orders and talk eventually turns to the job at hand. Most specifically, his talk with Heather McMann the day before.

“Think she's trust worthy?” Yaz inquires. “Did she seem on the up and up?”

“Seemed that way,” Tyler replies. “But then so did her husband and look at how that ended up.”

“Definitely not your brightest moment,” Mark snidely comments.

Tyler chooses to ignore it.  “Unless she's a really good actress, there is no way she was lying. It was too real; the emotion on her face, in her voice.”

He realizes how much he sounds like Esme; when she's going on about how there's times where he communicates more effectively with his facial expressions and his body language than with actual words. She always knows what he's feeling...what he's thinking...long before he ever verbally expresses them.   That is how it had been with Heather McMann.  It wasn't what he'd heard. It was what he'd seen. And everything told him that it was very, very real.

“And the kids are in there?” Mark asks. “In that shop?”

“In the basement. She says it's like an underground bunker down there. Just like the one back home. It would look like this...” he snatches the pen that Yaz has tucked in the breast pocket of his short sleeved button down, and then grabs the unused napkin underneath his own cutlery. “One long hallway...” he speaks as he hastily draws the layout. “...there's a room immediately to the left of the stairs. Small. Five by six, if that. Another room about four feet down the hall, to the right. Slightly bigger. I'm saying about seven by eight, maybe. Five more rooms after that. Directly across from one another. The first three are the same size; eight by nine. Last two are bigger. The one where Esme found the chair was eleven by twelve. The one where I found Erin Ferguson was large. Thirteen by fifteen. There's a door, at the end of the hall; just leads to a small cold storage area. No other entrance or exit. Just the main one. Hallway is three hundred and fifty feet. Give or take a couple of inches.”

“And you were able to know all of this...all these measurements...even though it was dark down there?” Mark smirks. “How?”

“Because I have two fucking feet and I know how to count without having to use my fingers. That's how. I walked that entire place. We walked it. I know exactly how many feet there were.”

Just like he'd known exactly how many it took to get as far as he did on the Sultana Kamal Bridge. Because he'd counted down every single one; each step taking him not only closer to freedom and safety, but to her. A number that...as soon as he'd been healthy enough...he'd had tattooed on the inside of his right bicep. Along with each of the kids' first and middle initials and their dates of birth.

“And I never once mentioned that it was dark down there,” he adds. “How did you know that?”

“So maybe it wasn't completely dark,” Mark corrects himself. “Just the rooms. The hallway had light.”

Tyler scowls. “But I never mentioned that. To any of you. This is the first time I've talked about what it was like down there since it happened. How'd you know that the only light was in the hallway?”

“I guess I just assumed,” Mark shrugs. “I mean, there's only so many options when you're underground, right?”

“You absolute motherfucker,” Tyler's eyes darken, his voice becoming menacing as the reality sinks in.  “It was you. You're the one that told McMann we were going there. When Esme asked you to distract him so we could go there and poke around.”

Mark gives a dry laugh. “Okay, that's really reaching, Rake. Your brain really is messed up if you can jump to shitty ass conclusions like that so fast.”

“She trusted you. I trusted you. You told him as soon as you met him up with him, didn't you. That's how he was able to get things together so quickly. He knew exactly how long it would take us to get there. It gave him enough time to get his people there and have someone fuck up the comms. Or was that you, too? FBI would know how to do shit like that, right?”

“You're crazy,” Mark declares. “You've officially gone right off the deep end. Snapped that last shred of sanity you've been hanging onto. I told Esme this would happen you know.  That one day you'd just lose it all together. I'm glad it didn't happen when you were at home. You'd probably be one of those guy's that would go completely psycho and kill his entire family...”

“Listen you little fuck...”  there's a loud clatter of silverware and china as he leans across the table, a fist snatching Mark by the front of his golf shirt.  Around them, conversations and laughter all come to a stand still as every eye on the place zeros in on the altercation taking place before them.  “...for the last time, leave my family out of this. Don't talk about them, don't even think about them.”

“Okay...okay...” Yaz once again resorts to playing peacemaker. “...I get you want to kill him, but we're in a public place and the last thing we need to do is draw attention to ourselves. So please calm the fuck down.”

Tyler releases his grip on Mark's shirt, but roughly shoves him back into his chair. “I trusted you. I took her word for it that you wouldn't totally fuck us and you did. You knew she was going with me. You knew she'd be there. And you told him. Do you know what could have happened to her? If I hadn't have told her to leave? Do you have any idea the sick shit they would have done to her? Or didn't that matter to you. As long as you got rid of me, you didn't give a shit what happened to her.”

“Is this true?” Yaz asks. “What he's saying? Were you the one that told McMann about Tyler and Esme going there?”

“I never said a goddamn word. He's crazy. Certifiably crazy. We all know his issues. How fucked up in the head he is. Doesn't this prove that?”

“I'm fucked up in the head?” Tyler retorts. “You're calling me fucked up in the head yet you're the one that knew what would happen to her if they got a hold of her? You hate me that much that you'd let that happen? You'd let them do that her? To my wife?”

“Is it true?” Yaz presses. “Just tell us that. Were you the one who told McMann that they'd be at the house? Yes or no.”

Mark sighs heavily. “Yes.”

“Jesus...fuck...” Yaz mutters, as Nathan throws his hands up in surrender of the whole screwed up situation and walks away from the table. “...you can't be serious. Why the hell?”

“Money,” Mark simply replies. “He offered me a lot of money.”

“Holy shit,” Zak shakes his head in disbelief and gets up from the table as well. “This is fucked. You're fucked, Mark. We're supposed to be a fucking team! You brought us here to help and you're going around doing shit like this? For money?”

“He needed help,” Mark says. “He'd already screwed up once when it came to killing you. He thought for the second time would work.”

“And it didn't matter that she was with me,” Tyler states. “It didn't matter what they do to her. None of that mattered to you.”

Mark shrugs. “Collateral damage.”

“You didn't care if my kids were left without their father or their mother?”

“Whatever had to be done to take you out. If that meant she went too...” he shrugs once more.

Sighing heavily, Tyler shakes his head and leans back in his chair, elbow on the arm rest; palm pressed against his forehead as he closes his eyes.

“Guess things were really fucked once we grabbed McMann, huh?” Yaz inquires. “Guess that's why you were hell bent on getting Tyler to change his mind about wanting to torture his ass. You didn't want anything to happen to your boss. In case there was a chance to make more money.”

“Are you kidding?” Mark laughs. “I was glad when we got rid of him. Means I didn't have to worry about him anymore.”

“You mean you didn't have to worry about him ratting you out,” Yaz concludes. “You realize that we're going to have to cut you loose, right? That this goes way beyond fucking things up. You were going to kill one of your own teammates. Or have someone else kill them. Like what the hell man? For what? Money? Or did this go beyond that? Was this a more personal thing? All because you didn't like the fact that your ex moved on?”

“I gotta get out of here,” Tyler pushes his chair away from the table, taking money from his wallet and tossing it down.

The anxiety is too far out of control; chest tightening, sweat beginning to gather at the small of his back and the nape of his back,  the faint quell of nausea as bile sits in his throat. And he's vaguely aware of the sarcastic, cutting comment Mark makes at expense as he leaves; strides long and purposeful as they take him across  the busy roof top patio and through the restaurant. Needing to get the hell away...away from the noise...away from the bright lights...away from all the people.  Jamming his finger repeatedly against the down button for the elevator; muttering curses and wiping sweat from his forehead with his forearm and trying to force himself to breathe.

“You okay?” Yaz is suddenly at his side, a concerned look on his face. “What's up? Talk to me?”

“I can't...it's like I can't fucking breathe....”

“Just take it easy.  That was a lot to fucking hear.  You got meds on you or....?”

“I don't need meds. I just need to get out of here. Where there's less noise and less people and...”

Yaz frowns as he glances around the empty hallway. “There's no one even out there. You want me to go with you? You don't look so good.”

He shakes his head. “I'll be fine. I just need to go...I don't know where I need to go...I just know I can't be here...”

“You're not going to do anything stupid are you? I mean, you've got all those guns in your room and...”

“I'm not going to fucking kill myself. I might kill him,” he nods in the direction of the restaurant. “But I'm not going to kill myself.”

“You should call home,” Yaz suggests. “Talk to Esme. She'll know how to talk you down.”

“I don't need to call home. I don't want her fucking worrying about this shit. She's got four kids to take care of and a baby to worry about...”

“And you're the father of those kids and that baby and she deserves to know when you're feeling like this.  Call home. Or I'll do it for you.”

“Stay out of it, Yaz. I know you're trying to help. But stay out of it. I'm trying to keep shit from falling apart. And the more I put on her, the more I'm going to push her away and the more it is going to fall apart.”

“That's bullshit and you know it. Go back to your room, call home, talk to your wife.”

The elevator finally arrives; allowing several people off before stepping into the empty cab.

“Call her!” Yaz orders.

“Stay out of it,” he shoots back, and slams his finger against the close door button.

****

By the time he returns to his room, the photos from Heather McMann have arrived; tucked in a brown paper envelope and stuck between the door and the frame. He'd expected an email or images sent through a text message, so he's surprised -albeit pleasantly- to find that she'd through such efforts to make sure he got exactly what he needed. Once inside he takes half a dozen anti anxiety pills and two Prozac instead of the normal one. And he feels no guilt or shame when he swallows them down with half a bottle of whisky from the bar, leaving the rest on the nightstand as he dumps the contents of the envelope onto the bed. Some of the photos have sticky notes on the back of the them; pointing out small details that he may not notice at first but she felt he needed to know about.  And while the photographs are promising and should be leaving him with more answers than questions, they just aren't enough. They don't put his frantic mind to rest; the conversation with Mark replaying in his mind, the feelings of rage and betrayal, the sense of doom that hangs over him like an ominous dark cloud.

He considers just packing it up and going home. Handing everything off to Yaz and telling him that he's done. Get someone else. That he's not feeling confident enough to get the job done. That his brain is too fucked up to fully focus on what needs to be done. That would be more dangerous than anything else; if he couldn't get his head on straight and commit himself one hundred percent, both he and those kids would die. There was no question about.  It would be best for everyone if he just left; if he accepted defeat just this once and admitted that he wasn't in any shape to carry this job out.

His private cell phone vibrates against his leg and he slips it from the side pocket of his cargos. At first he considers not answering; he's almost done the bottle of the booze and he's considering opening another and once he starts talking to her, he'll confess all his shortcomings and admit to all his bullshit and then it will cause a big old thing between them. She'll be pissed off. Disappointed. Not meaning to call him a failure but making him feel like one nonetheless.  He reminds himself that that's just bullshit; his brain trying to convince him that everyone...even her...is out to get him. She's never...even in the midst of his biggest fuck ups...made him feel like he was a complete and utter disaster.

So he answers it; catching it on the last ring before it goes to voice mail.

“Everything okay?” he asks in way of greeting. “You and the kids okay?”

“What the hell is going on, Tyler?” her response is straight to the point. Yet it's not anger in her voice. It's hurt. Confusion.  “Yaz just called. What is going on over there?”

“What did he tell you?”

“Something about Mark being involved with McMann and being the one that told McMann that we'd be at the house that day. That McMann offered him money for information? What the fuck, Tyler?”

“Okay, I'm going to need you to calm down. Less stress, remember? So just take it easy...”

“How the hell am I supposed to take it easy? You're thousands of miles away, getting ready to walk into some pretty dangerous shit with no proper help and no proper back up and...”

“Esme,” his tone is firm. “Calm down. We shouldn't even be talking about this. The kids...”

“The kids are outside with Ovi and Kyle. They can't hear a thing I'm saying. You need to start talking. You need to tell me what the fuck is happening before I get on the next plane to New Zealand. Because you damn well know I'll do it and I know it's the last thing you want. So you either start telling me what the hell is happening or I swear to God. Tyler, I will show up on your doorstep and there won't be a goddamn thing you can do stop me.”

“Are you going to calm down?” he inquires. “Because I'm not saying shit until you do. So you either calm down or you hang up and call me back when you have your shit together.”

“Don't fucking talk to me like that. I'm not one of your soldiers from your military days that you can boss around. I'm your wife. So don't be a condescending asshole and...”

“Esme!” he snaps. “Calm down or I'll hang up and I won't answer when you call back, understand me?”

“Don't..”

“Understand me?” he presses, and it's then that she takes a long, deep inhale, followed by a shaky, uneven exhale. “Are you good? Are you done flipping your shit on me? I need you stay calm. And that baby needs you stay calm. Do you want something happening? Because I don't”

“Of course I don't. But I also don't want anything happening to you. And if what Yaz said is true...”

“McMann gave Mark money...or at least offered him money...to tell him that we were going to be at the house.”

“But why? For what purpose? To kill you? So McMann wouldn't have to get his own hands dirty?”

“Apparently. And he told him even though Mark knew you'd be with me. Meaning if they'd gotten a hold of you...”

“And that's what really set you off. Yaz said you had a panic attack.”

“He should have kept his mouth shut.”

“No. He shouldn't have. You should stop assuming that I'm some weak and fragile little girl that can't handle these things. I've been handling them for five and a half years, Tyler. I spent months sleeping in a chair in a hospital, dealing with a lot worse than this. Having people constantly telling me that you weren't going to survive or that if you did you'd be brain damaged and I'd spend the rest of my life taking care of you. You think this is bad? This isn't half as bad as the things I heard and the things I was prepared to do. You always go on and on about how strong I am. Well start treating me like I am!”

He's surprised by the forcefulness in her voice.  

“You get so caught up thinking you constantly need to protect me. And I understand why you're like that. I do. We've been through a lot of together. We've been through some terribly shitty and scary things. But you don't need to be this way. It's frustrating and it's annoying and it's suffocating. And I don't know why you can't see that. You need to stop. More importantly, I need you to stop.  Stop protecting me and start trusting me that I can handle things.”

'You're right,” he reluctantly admits. “I know how much you hate it. The whole overprotective thing. And I don't mean to be that way. But I also can't help it. I can't stop wanting to keep you safe.”

“I'm not saying you need to stop. I'm saying you need to tone it down a bit. I'm not one of the people you get hired to get out of shitty situations.  Dhaka was five and a half years ago. You did what you needed to do. I survived. Now you need to start acting like we're not still stuck back there and you're still trying to find a way to get me out of there. You always tell me I need to let it go. Maybe there's parts of it you still need to let go too.”

He sighs heavily, then reaches for the bottle of whisky and drains it.

“What's going to happen now?” she asks. “With Mark??”

“I don't know. Nik can take care of that. She brought him into this, she can take him out of it.”

“I never should have asked him for help. If I'd never asked him...”

“Don't do that. This isn't your fault. You didn't know he was going to turn around and do something like this.”

“Still, if I hadn't have asked him...”

“Esme...stop. This isn't on you. You didn't know he was going to turn out like this. Let Nik take care of it. There's nothing either of us can do about him.”

“You could always kick the shit out of him.”

“I'm tempted. Believe me. Beyond tempted, even.”

“But you're okay, right? Because that's all that matters to me. That you've calmed down and you're okay.”

“Yeah,” he glances over at the empty whisky bottle. “I'm okay.”

“Is there any good news? Are you any closer to getting those kids and getting the fuck home? Because we kind of miss you here.”

“I miss you guys too. And I'd come home right now if I could. And maybe I should. Maybe I should just say 'fuck this' and tell Nik to find someone else. Because I'm so sick of this shit. I'm tired and I'm sore and I just want to see you and the kids. I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. This life. I just can't.”

“Tyler....”

“I can't...” he insists, and his voice finally cracks under the weight of the emotion that he's been carrying around. Is it weeks? Months? Years even? He doesn't know for sure. But the burden has been huge and heavy, and despite his best attempts, he just can't carry it any longer.  “...I can't do this...mentally...I just can't...I need to come home.  I'm no good to those kids if I stay. I can't get them out of there. Not when I'm like this.”

“Tyler...”

“It'll just make things worse,” he continues, letting both the words and the tears flow. “I can't get past it. What's going on in my head. There's so much going on and it won't leave me alone. It never leaves me alone. It's never quiet up there anymore and I can't take it.  I need it to be quiet. I need it to leave me alone and it won't if I stay here. It'll never leave me alone. And I can't live like this any longer. I just can't.”

“Come home,” she says. Simple. Straight to the point. “You need to come home.”

He nods in agreement, using the back of his hand to clear the tears off his face.  

“You've done enough. For other people. Now you need to come home and get better.”

“I can't do it by myself,” he admits.  “I know I can't.”

“You don't have to. You know that. You're not alone in this.  I'll help you.  And I wish I was there right now. I'd do anything to be there with you. You know that, right?”

“I do. I do know that.”

“Just come home, Tyler,” she says. “It's time to come home.”

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧  Chapter 199

A mostly decent night’s sleep did wonders for the mind and body. It also had you running a little late to start your life the next day. Tony was gone, as usual and as expected. But it would have been nice for him to at least let you know you were sleeping so deep you were likely to be in trouble. It was hard to hold the thought against him, though. He’d probably left well enough alone on purpose. As you did to him, sometimes. Still. You were hurried and harried as you rushed through a shower and getting your face and hair ready, picking out a vibrantly colored power suit and a pair of killer heels that would boost your confidence enough to get through the day. Back-to-back-to-back meetings lined your schedule. And while the people waiting for you now weren’t likely to actually say they’d been waiting too long, their moods would be worse for it. Nothing you couldn’t amend, however. Which was why before you actually stepped out for the day you stopped at the labs. You’d expected Tony to be working on something, as he always was, a routine the two of you were very well used to at this point. It was why when you bumped into him immediately getting off the elevator you were more than a little startled. 

His hands on your arms steadied you from a wobbly break, and his amused grin cleared the haze. “Looking for someone, honey?” 

“You- actually- …- oh- I’m sorry-” Getting a rushed start this late in the day was doing you no favors. Your thoughts were a little bit frantic. Even more so when you spied the person he was talking with in the hallway. “Dr. Linnet, how are you? Am I interrupting something?” Tony was with Deja of all people… this was an interesting turn of events. Did he put himself back in therapy?? But- why here? Why in the labs? Though she’d been stationed more on the Avengers base upstate, she certainly still had an office here for use. ...maybe they’d been talking in his labs for the comfort of a familiar environment? She smiled warmly. “Not at all. We were mostly through. It’s nice to see you again. It’s been a while.” A very less than sly way of letting you know she was thinking about you. And all your missed appointments. Oh well. Very luckily, Tony saved your embarrassment at having to find an excuse to why it had been so long since you and your therapist had last spoken. He gave your shoulders a little rub before putting his hands in his pockets. “We were actually about to come see you. Hoping to catch you before you left.”

Blankly you nodded. “I actually have to run.” Feeling a sudden sense of desperation. Like you were being backed into a corner. Tony and your therapist wanted to speak to you. That felt bad. You needed to get out of here. They needed to know you couldn’t stay long enough for whatever the hell this was.

“I know you do.” Tony must have sensed your sudden anxiety. He reached out again, putting a soothing touch between your shoulder blades in a light rub. “Look- can you keep your schedule clear March thirteenth?” 

It was weird that he’d ask something like this- and that he’d do it in front of the doctor. ...or with her. This was what they’d wanted to come talk to you about. ...but finally you were able to see past yourself. And into him. He was wound up about something, too. A little frayed at the edges. 

He needed your attention. Your assurance. The two of you looked at each other for just a little too long. The elevator doors reopened. You hadn’t even realized you’d terror-pressed the button a few seconds ago trying to get away from them. You held an arm up to keep them open but gave him a nod. “Sure, Tony. Whatever you need.” Letting him know. Whatever this was… Even if it was something that was going to end poorly for you… you’d be there. ...god, what if it was an intervention? Better not think about it. His smile gave you permission to back away. But before you did you put your other hand on his chest to anchor yourself and lifted up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be back around six.” 

Despite present company and the social faux-pas, he seemed unable to help himself from reaching up to cup the side of your face and direct you closer in for a proper kiss. You surrendered. It was simple, sweet, and quick enough to not be entirely awkward with a third party standing there. “I love you.” There was a shimmer of gratitude there. “I love you.” Murmured back to him. Stealing one last quick kiss. You then stepped backwards into the elevator and gave a little wave. “Bye. Nice seeing you, doctor.” Trying to be polite. She still wore that smile and returned the gesture. “You, too. Have a nice day.” 

The doors closed and you let out a shaky breath. It was better not to think about what the hell you’d just gotten yourself into. ...and whether or not the two of them were talking about you in your absence. Or in the moments before it- No. Don’t think about it. ...don’t think about it… 

                                                             --- 

As expected, no one had the guts to say anything to you about being late for their afternoon meeting. You cut that one short, too, so that you wouldn’t be late for anything else. Which was rude. And not a behavior you often gave into. You made sure to… ease the room a little bit. This was cheating but, there were more ways than one to be good at your job and keep partners and business friends happy. Using everything you owned to your advantage was just fair play. You even let them pick another time for a much lengthier meeting about whatever it was they were talking about… your mind was a little far away. And it stayed that way for the remainder of the day. Which is exactly what you didn’t want to be doing. Exactly what you promised yourself you shouldn’t and wouldn’t do. But. You still did it. Because how could you help yourself? What were Tony and Deja doing? Was he worried about you? Sure he’d have every right- there was a lot to be worried about sometimes. You had long moments where nothing was okay. Thousand yard stares that turned into PTSD meltdowns and panic attacks- and then you bounced back into moments of normality- ...yes. Yes Tony had every right to maybe try and seek a therapist’s advice about what he should do. How he should talk to you. How he could maybe get you to try and seek steps on the road to recovery- But why would he do that immediately after yesterday? Had something gone wrong? Had you done something bad to him? Had the intensity in your office actually upset him in some way? ...had you missed that somehow? All of this was making you feel a little sick. There was a lot wrong with you, fine. You understood that. You had barely healed from any single event that had scarred you, yet you preached for others to do so and advocated heavily for the use of therapy for all your other teammates so that they could get the help they needed. Yet you… ...you refused. Quietly. Didn’t set up appointments and blew off the rare ones that you did. It was just- you just- … The sky was lit up in dark oranges and pinks, sun setting a shadow across the city. You were in your head and lost. Happy was in the car parked on the opposite side of the street waiting for you to get in so he could take you home. And someone grabbed your wrist. Your instincts lit up and you quickly turned your arm up around the other way and then sent a jab into your would-be attacker’s chest. He rebounded, throwing his palm up which you tried to deflect with a strike to the inside of his arm but he pushed around you, planting a blow against your chest to stun you and then finally got a good grab on your arm, wrenching it high up, and with the force of his weight, walked you right up into the side of the building. This all happened in a matter of seconds. He was faster than you, no question. There were ways to get out of this. You weren’t scared. ...and if you were, you definitely couldn’t allow that to show. But you stayed there. For lack of… better options. “You have to be the dumbest man in this city.” Warning him as you turned your head as far as it would go, gritting your teeth at him. “I need your help.” His voice was softy, and his desperation now that you were a little more focused on him was obvious. But before you could answer him the sound of a gun cocking caught the both of you unaware. Happy was very grounded. “Hey bozo, wanna try that again?” You imagined he was pressing the barrel against this guy’s head. 

Because his very next move was to let go of you and step back with his hands up. You wheeled your arm around, trying to work out the ache in your joint, and then tapped Happy’s side with the other one, trying to get him to lower his weapon. He was reluctant as always, but did as he was silently being told. Then finally you saw the guy that had grabbed you. He looked homeless and helpless. Wearing torn heavy clothes, sporting a scraggly patchy beard, and dirty, short curly blond hair. His eyes were gentle. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to hurt you, miss.” 

“You didn’t hurt me.” Perhaps protesting a little too much. 

“Well- I didn’t mean to scare you. I need your help. Please.” 

Happy made a face. “There’s better ways to ask for change.” 

Everything about this man was strange. He was no regular vagabond. That was for certain. But there was… something else about him. Something that was pinging your delicate senses. Making you a little uneasy. So you… you looked. Looked a little through him. Paused the world for yourself as you stepped into the one that you owned. Looked with that second pair of eyes. There he stood. But something- ...something lurked inside of him- And when you looked- A pair of red eyes stared out from his chest. 

It startled you back into reality- literally- and your sharp inhale and step back had Happy anxiously aiming his weapon again. He knew to trust your judgment more than his own. Even if he may not have known why that was. 

The scraggly man across from you widened his eyes and really held his hand up in a pleading motion. “Please- you’re the woman from the TV- you said I needed help and I do-” 

This finally made it make sense. “You’re Danny Rand?” You put your hand up on Happy’s arm again, urging him with a little push to put his gun down again. 

His nod was just about as solemn as the puppy-dog eyes he was giving you. “Yes. Please help me.” 

It was times like this you regretted your sassy, cutthroat business ways. You should have never opened your mouth…                                                             --- You made sure Happy drove home as quick as possible as you did not want to be in the car with this guy any longer than necessary. Once at the Tower you then yanked him up to a secure conference room and sat him down. Pepper had been waiting to get your signature on something and she threw the weirdest glance your way but wisely did not ask any questions. You instructed her to get something hot for him to drink and eat from the cafeteria. Only when she brought him a hot cup of tea (as per his request) and a bowl of noodles with some protein, you re-entered the room. He was already finished. It had only been five minutes. You locked the door behind you and the two of you stared at each other. 

Until he decided he was done waiting. “Are you going to help me?” 

“Undecided.” You put your hands behind your back and started a slow pace around the room. Thinking. “If I do- it- ...this is a strange situation. I can loan you a lawyer, is that what you want? Is there anything to prove you are who you say you are?” 

His parents had died in a plane crash- same as he was said to. So there were no bodies to exhume to try and match DNA to. 

He sighed. “Why won’t anyone believe me?” 

“You’re supposed to be dead.” Putting it very plainly for him. “And now you’ve come back fifteen years later- it reeks of a cash scam.” 

“I don’t care about that.” He let a little of his frustrations leak out. Seems like you weren’t the only one to accuse him of this. 

“You can say that all you want, but that’s how it looks. You want to reclaim your company I have no doubt.” When he just stared at you, you tried to force it out of him. “Right?” 

His lips pressed together but then he folded his hands atop the table and admitted it. “Yes.” 

“Right.” Because you usually were. “So some random guy is claiming to be Danny Rand to get his hands on Rand Enterprises and the billion or so dollars that go with its market.” 

“I am not a random guy. I am Danny Rand!” 

You didn’t let his outburst deter you. “Prove it.” 

This seemed to take the wind out of his sails. “I don’t… I don’t know how.” 

“Well you better start thinking up some ways. Because I can get you the best lawyer money has to offer, and it won’t make a difference unless you have something credible.” Why was this being put on you? Why was this your job to clean up? Sure, you felt sorry for the guy, but- 

“Do you believe me?” He was gazing at you now. Like he was trying to see through you. Finally you stopped moving and crossed your arms, gazing back at him. “I believe… you believe you are who you say you are. But  that’s not enough.” He wasn’t being deceptive, that was for sure. He really did believe himself. As for if it was really true? And he wasn’t just an escaped patient of a psychiatric hospital somewhere who had been lost on the streets? Who knew. But that was exactly the sort of defense the Meachums would work up. It’d never even see the inside of a courtroom. 

A heaviness enveloped him so strongly. It really did make you feel bad for him. His head dipped forward and he shook it a few times. “I just… I just wanted to come home. But home is not how I remember it.” 

“Of course it isn’t. You disappeared fifteen years ago. A lot has changed since then.” Trying to ease up on him. He was… he was understandably sad. “...how did you survive that plane crash? Where have you been all this time?” What was the story he’d made up for himself? 

You expected some pause. Time for him to gather himself, make sure he got all his facts straight. But he was so casual as he said some of the strangest things you’d ever heard. “Our plane went down over the Himalayas. My parents didn’t survive. But I was saved by two monks of K’un-Lun. They took me to the city. They helped me. They raised me like their own. And trained me.” 

Where? While it would be silly to expect to know every city in every place in the world, you were sure you’d never heard that name before. “K’un-Lun?” “It’s a protected city. The gates appear every fifteen years. Otherwise there’s no way in or out.” 

“...every fifteen years.” What a convenient time frame. 

“That’s what I said.” 

You’d started pacing again. “...and so these… Monks. Took you in. And trained you in… martial arts? Buddhism?” 

“That’s right.” 

“...didn’t you ask for pork with your soup?” 

He flustered a little. “Is this really important?” 

“It is if you want to sell this to anyone. You’ve got some conflicting ideologies here.” Of course as soon as you pressed on the finer details the story was starting to fall apart. Which meant that you’d been accosted by a homeless person who you’d then brought back to the Tower- ...for what reason exactly-

“This is the truth.” 

“You got the better of me coming out of that building, I’ll give you that.” Maybe he hadn’t intended to fight you when he’d grabbed you, but when you’d tried to defend yourself, he’d definitely displayed some finer skills. But so what? He could have trained at any gym in the city to learn martial arts. This was starting to seem like an elaborate setup not to upset the Meachums or make a power grab for Rand Enterprises- but to do something to you. 

Deciding you’d had enough with the rouse you put your hands on the table and leaned in. “You’re enhanced.” Laying it out there very plainly. 

“What do you mean by that?” He seemed a little confused. 

This was tipping your hand pretty heavily. How could you tell him you knew that without telling him how you’d figured that out? “You’re fast, you’re strong- faster and stronger than most regular people I know. And I… think I saw something, when you attacked me-” 

“I didn’t mean to attack you, I just wanted your attention.” He sighed. Even more frustrated than before. But when you didn’t relent he stood up and pulled his coat open, exposing part of his chest- exactly where you’d looked and seen something lurking. “Is this what you mean?” 

“What is that? A tattoo?” Making vague hand gestures as you pointed. 

He pulled his coat completely open and did the same with his shirt exposing what looked like a very slim dragon tattoo- as you’d surmised. “This is the mark of Shou-Lao.” 

“...and that is?” 

“Shou-Lao is the dragon of K’un-Lun.” 

This left you staring at him blankly before your nose wrinkled. “Yeah. Okay. Shou-Lao is a dragon that lives in a magical city that only shows up every now and again.” 

He raised his fist and you expected maybe he was done playing games and had a mind about him to strike again while he had you in close quarters. But while you took a defensive stance he stayed there. He stood there as his fist started glowing yellow. And then more nonsense came out of him, “I defeated him and took on the powers of the Iron Fist. I was meant to be the protector of K’un-Lun but I wanted to come home.” 

A dragon- Those red eyes- ...was that what you saw…? 

Beeping at the door indicated someone was keying in a code- you knew exactly who and were a little more than grateful to see Tony come in, although less so when you caught the sight of Peter in tow. Danny’s little lightshow came to an immediate halt and Tony very noticeably put himself between you and Danny. “Hey, honey. Pepper said you’d be in here. Didn’t realize you had a… guest.” His distaste for this grizzled man standing in the conference room with you, shirt undone, was on full display. 

Danny gave a small bow. “I’m sorry to invade your home. It’s nice to meet you-” He then looked over your way. “Is this your husband and son?” 

A little heat flashed quick across your face. “This is my fiance and our intern.” 

Peter finally gave you a little wave. “Hey, Mrs. Stark.” ...he still hadn’t stopped calling you that. Maybe because neither you nor Tony really minded or had made a real effort to correct him. 

Tony put a hand on your shoulder and turned you closer towards the door. “Her fiance needs a word with her. Do you mind?” 

Danny crossed his arms, closing himself off. “By all means.” 

It didn’t take much nudging for him to get you out of that room. And once the door was closed- “What’s with Weary Willie in there? Everything okay?” 

“Uh…” This came out a little high pitched as your patience had run dry and your brain was just about all out of juice. “That’s Danny Rand. Supposedly.” 

“Sure it is.” “He’s just gotten back from a magic city in the clouds where he killed a dragon.” 

A noise ejected out of Tony, something between a snort of laughter and a scoff, and he lifted a hand to his chin. “Yeah. Okay- well. You’ve done enough as a concerned citizen. Let’s find out what hospital he wandered out of so a kind nurse can put him back on his meds.” 

It was… extremely hard to say this, especially with Peter looking on. But. “...I think he might be telling the truth.” 

Tony’s brows scrunched right up and his mouth opened, probably with some sharp quip in mind, but he stopped himself. Tried to speak again. Stopped again. Took a breath. And then- “...what?” 

You felt pretty dumb. It was hard standing under Tony’s scrutiny. And unusual. But to be fair to him you really had just said a guy had fallen out of a mystic cloud city after killing a dragon. A little skepticism was more than fair no matter how much he loved you. 

Even Peter couldn’t seem to help himself. “Are you feeling alright, Mrs. Stark?” 

“I’m fine. Thank you.” He was probably asking that because… you were supposed to be smarter than this, probably. But you seemed to be buying this nonsense story- and with no evidence to back it up. ...none that you could say in front of Peter, anyway. “Look- ...whether or not he is telling the truth-” Tony put his hand up. “I want it clear that my vote is that he’s not.” 

“Okay. Noted. But either way- I’m going to give him one of our lawyers. We need a pro bono in our folder anyway.” 

The purse of Tony’s lips made you feel awful. “Is this really a good idea? This will look like Stark Industries is backing this guy’s story- and his fight for the Rand Enterprises throne.” 

...he was making a good point. As always. Maybe you weren’t thinking clearly. This would have been a good time to sleep on all of this and come to a decision tomorrow morning. You took a deep breath in and then let it out. “No you’re- ...you’re right.” Deflated, as you said this. You wanted to wash your hands of this. Give the guy some cash and send him on his way. But it didn’t feel right. Maybe he was Danny Rand. And if you didn’t help him… 

Tony put his hands on your arms, thumbs stroking absently. “Honey-” 

“I’ll get him a good lawyer that’s not on our payroll.” You had to do this. Something was telling you you had to do this. 

It was tough for Tony to trust your judgement on this one. Everything in his better sense was telling him you were getting grifted. But you wouldn’t fall for something like that normally. So what was it that was eating you up about this? ...he’d just have to let go of his feelings about this and trust you. “If you think that’s the right play, I’ll stand by you.” No matter what came of it. 

Your smile was relieved as you leaned up to press it against his cheek. “Thank you.” You gave him a small pat on the chest and then separated yourself from him, holding a finger up to him and Peter. “Give me a minute, I’ll finish this and then come upstairs with you.” Not sure what they needed, exactly, but letting them know they’d soon have your undivided attention. 

Going back into the room, Danny looked up, having reseated himself when you’d stepped up. He was just a touch more desperate than before. Probably realizing his help was slipping through his fingers. “Listen- I don’t mean to inconvenience you- and you’ve been very kind to me-” 

“Danny, I’m going to give you some money. And the name of a very good lawyer. I can’t make any promises that he’ll win your case for you, but it’ll be a start. Go to a hotel. Get a good night’s sleep. Take a shower. Get reoriented. Figure out how to prove you are who you say you are. Then call him in the morning and get to work.” 

He looked at you, considering what you were offering. And then for the first time he smiled, put his right fist against his open left hand and bowed. “I’m grateful, really. Thank you.” Instead of bowing yourself, you offered your hand. He seemed to still remember what that meant, and he gave you a hearty shake. “This is the last time I’ll see you.” Saying it like he knew it was the truth. 

Maybe because he knew his well had run dry here and that he couldn’t ask you for anything more after this. Maybe because he knew you wouldn’t make an effort to seek him out again. 

“For now.” This wasn’t a lie but… there was no reason to tempt fate otherwise. 

                                                            ---

As she disappeared back into that conference room against his better judgement, Tony put a hand on his hip and let out a deep breath. This seemed like a whole lot of trouble. But- 

“Mr. Stark?” 

“Yeah, kid?” Half turning to give Peter the better part of his attention. 

“I mean- that’s a pretty crazy story…” Seemed like the kid was struggling with how to say something like why does she believe him, she’s usually so smart. But there was no kind way to phrase that. And so he just let the sentiment linger. 

“I guess out of everything we’ve seen it may not be the craziest. But… pretty close.” This was a mess. Why was it always her? 

Peter crossed his arms and shuffled a little. “Why does she wanna help him so bad?” 

Tony huffed out a little breath of amusement and shook his head, mirroring Peter while he folded his arms. “Well. You read what they wrote about her the night you two met. Something about a bleeding heart.” 

“Do you think she’s right? About him?” 

“Doesn’t matter what I think, kid.” 

This really seemed to confuse Peter as he looked up at him. “Why’s that?” 

“I trust her.” Making sure this went out into this little world they were creating. But… there was also- “She’s also the boss around here.” 

“Oh.” It only took a few seconds for Peter to grin about this. Pretty obvious. He laughed a little. “Yeah- I guess that’s true, isn’t it?” 

Tony couldn’t help his own little grin. “About the truest thing there is.” 

He just hoped she wasn’t getting herself tangled in yet another mess. ...and if she was, that he could figure a way out of it for her before it got too bad. 

[evien-stark]

💙I Need You💙 Chapter 149

The view from the top of the Eiffel Tower was beautiful, even through the sparse fencing. Paris was still somewhat awake, even at this late hour. The air was crisp, but just a little damp, and somewhere on the very far horizon there was a warning of rain headed your way. The area was empty, the viewing point closed. Sight-seeing hours had long since passed, but… rules didn’t really apply much to Tony Stark. Nor you, you supposed, since you were right there with him. 

Though the both of you had come up for fresh air and the scenery, Tony had long since abandoned looking out in favor of turning his attention to you. For a little while you pretended not to notice. But eventually, as you leaned on the railing with both arms in a lean, you turned your head to him, unable to help the small bashful smile. “Should I start charging for the show?” 

He grinned. Warmly and instantly. With a little shrug of his shoulders as he stuck his hands in his pockets, “You might as well. What’s your price of admission?” 

Staring at him now, as he had been doing to you, you felt your smile go just a little lopsided. Turning around from your spot, you pressed your back against the railing, reaching out to tug him closer by the lapels of his unbuttoned jacket. There was an immediate heat but more than that it was just that… feeling. His eyes went half-lidded as he gazed down at you and breathed in just a small hitch of air while you found your voice. “How about a couple of kisses?” 

On the move again, his hands found perfect spots on your hips. The look in his eyes, the little tug at the corner of his lips as he eased in slowly… Tony was beautiful. Paris had nothing on him. But it was more than just his handsomeness. It was his heart. And how it seemed to beat for you, eagerly, whenever you called. “I think you’re selling yourself a little short, to be honest.” 

It was truly nice, to just get lost in a moment of peace with him. While talks of the future and how the last mission had ended- the hows and whys of it… it had lifted a little off your chest. Not completely. But enough. Enough to just find him again. To be with him again. “How much would you charge?” You flattened your hands along his chest, tipping your head up. Inches from his. 

“Price of being the luckiest man in the world? Tough call.” Your giggles at his overt cheesiness urged a little chuckle of his own. Like he just couldn’t help himself. 

“I don’t know about luckiest…” Your nose brushed his. Enjoying this quiet and happy intimacy. 

[Due to the nature of this chapter, please feel free to read on at A03! Link here.]

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧  Chapter 189

The very next day, the 23rd of November (two days away from your sixth anniversary with Tony), you were sitting down in your office. Sipping coffee in the early afternoon. Reading the various headlines that had come out of yesterday’s little outing. The usual heavy hitters were all in your favor. People were wondering what The Avengers were up to, but they trusted it was likely good things. Sleep had not come easy, again. About two hours. 

You were feeling yourself slowly slipping away. The anniversary was a pinpoint. A mark on the map. If you could just get there… if you could just do what you wanted to do- what you needed to do… it would make all of this worth it. It would make all the troubles melt away. 

There just couldn’t be any more nonsense packed into the next two days. That was all. A measly forty-eight hours. Couldn’t you make it there? Couldn’t the universe lay off? 

The phone ringing on the corner of your desk startled you. Because you knew. You knew that it going off was the universe answering you back. 

With a big, fat, no. 

 Your hands were only slightly trembling (something you attributed to over caffeination, stress, and lack of sleep more than fear) when you picked it up. “Yes?” 

“We have a problem in the lobby.” 

Always a good start to a bad time. Your cell phone going off next was a pretty big indication, too. “Give me a second, I’ll sort it out.” You put the phone down on the desk and then picked up your cell phone instead, knowing this was the same issue twice over. And- reading the ID- you lamented being you right now. “How can I help you?” Overly sweet as you answered. 

Coulson, on the other line, didn’t sound remotely amused. ...maybe that was his usual voice, though. “I need to come up. It seems since I was here last I’ve had my security clearance revoked.” 

“Hmn.” Humming with a dry air about you. “Yes, that might have happened after you promised me a report on a huge issue and just vanished into thin air.” 

“I have the report. I’m here to make a trade.” 

The shaking had worked its way up from your arm into your entire body. This was not something you wanted to deal with now in the slightest. But there was no putting it off. If you didn’t let Coulson up now, he’d find a way up himself. Really, he was probably just calling as a gesture of good will. Not because he actually cared to have your permission. “I’m in my office.” Hanging up quickly after saying so, and alerting security downstairs to let him through. 

There was about five minutes worth of decision making time to call Tony. And they were going very quickly.

It had been nine months since the attack on the UN. Nine months since Coulson had told you he would handle that situation, get to the bottom of it, and send you a detailed report when he was finished. Him surfacing now to do so was no coincidence- not with what had happened yesterday. Something was bugging him about your current involvement in whatever was happening now. Because it was always something-

Which meant the probability that he knew about the ATCU was extraordinarily high. That thought alone made your stomach twist into knots. Coulson was on your side- there was no way he would be behind something like this or involved with it now. It was more likely that he was working on a way to shut it down behind the scenes and your getting involved was too public- 

The time to call Tony to come to your side was over. Coulson was entering your office. 

You didn’t stand to meet him, instead pushing up a solid wall of defense. You were falling apart. He couldn’t know that.

Underneath his arm as promised, he held a manilla envelope. A very thick one, at that. And once he got close enough to your desk, he took a seat, and then put it on top. “Everything you need to know about the incident at the UN is in there.” Cutting right to the chase. 

Reaching for it, ignoring him, you tore the top and took out the hefty paper report, skimming the first few pages. Adamo Dioli- murdered. The Italian ambassador that- ...you remembered. The agent leading the mission- Marcus Scarlotti, in custody. The man behind the operation- Daniel Whitehall, a top Hydra leader actually known as Werner Reinhardt- terminated. 

His team had been busy. Something you had assumed. It wasn’t like Coulson had just been sitting around doing nothing. When he promised you he would handle this, you knew that to be the truth. But the radio silence and the broken promise over a prompt report were an issue. And, judging on the dates you were still looking over, he had had this in his possession and wrapped up for a long while now. Which made it inexcusable to not hand it over sooner. 

But just as you got midway through the report that detailed the weaponry used in the attack, he reached over and put a hand down. “Let me be clear about one thing. This is to be shredded when you’re finished with it.” 

He was lucky that you were able to resist rolling your eyes. “I used to work for you guys, in case you forgot. I know exactly what top secret means.” 

“Then let me be clear about something else.” The strangely warm way he said this drew your gaze towards his own. “I don’t think you should read this. And I don’t think Stark should, either.” 

That tossed about a dozen red flags onto the field. Coulson was feeling rather… protective. Why? Your brow arched. “Give me one good reason why not.” 

He stayed outwardly composed, as always. “How have you both been handling the events in New York?” 

Confusion wrote clear across your face. “That was years ago. Why bring that up?” 

His eyes then were steely. “Take a guess.” 

Little pinpricks agitated you- and you heard his voice- arguing with you and Tony- a memory from a little while back- what this whole report was even about-

What difference would it make? If I listed off ten alien races on SHIELD’s radar, what difference would it make? You don’t have any information.

That’s kind of the point, don’t you think?

The both of you had suspected this was alien weaponry. There was no way for it not to be. Now Coulson had gotten to the bottom of it. Dissected it. Knew what it was. ...and that information was sitting right in front of you. And he didn’t want you to look at it. 

“You think I can’t handle this?” There was little point in getting riled up, but self-defense was an easy go-to. 

“What I think is irrelevant. ...but, since you’re asking, I think there’s no reason for you to at this time. I came here to tell you to stop provoking President Ellis, and to leave the ATCU to me.” 

A scoff left as you shook your head. “I knew it.” 

“Of course you did.” Prompt as he sat back down. You let the report fold closed for the moment so you could put your focus better on him. “What’s in that report ties directly to what the ATCU is doing. Therefore, it’s an issue that you still left to me. And I’m working on it.” 

“Not hard enough. Soldiers attacked young girls a few nights ago. What would have happened to them if I hadn’t been there?” Bearing down on him now, a fresh wave of anger waking. 

Coulson, for once, gave a rare show of questioning. He didn’t have all the details, and that didn’t sit right with him. Maybe he thought he should know about that incident. “What girls?” 

“Mutants. But I think everyone is going around calling them Inhumans.” Cruel dig that that was. 

It took him a series of moments- moving from one emotion to the next rapidly inwardly, while his face remain impassive as he stared at you. Disbelief, unsure, then to confusion and then next to a little bit of smugness. “Mutants and Inhumans are not the same thing. I’ll forgive the mistake, I’m sure you weren’t aware of either until very recently. That must mean you went to Xavier.” 

This was a little too much information to process right at the moment. So instead of doing that, you clutched to the one thing you knew what to do with. “I did.” 

“He asked you to help him.” 

“He did.” 

“And you’re going to.” Saying this so knowingly. 

Instead of giving him the win, you decided to go against self-preservation. Something inside you told you it was better to give this to him and walk away. Play blind. Turn the other way. It would keep you where you were right now. And not further down the rabbithole of madness in this ever expanding universe. “What separates Mutants from Inhumans?” 

This he took his time with. Marinated. Really thought about- not only if he should answer, but if he did, how he would say it. You remained patient. That he wasn’t outright denying you an answer meant he would give you one instead of just reciting the whole back off play. 

Him sitting forward spooked you a little, but when he reached for the report again you let your hands off it. Sliding it his way and turning it, he flipped through a few pages, and when he finally  found what he was looking for, he pushed it in front of you yet again. But the two of you were left staring at one another. He was letting you know- 

Once you read this, there was absolutely no going back. Like always. 

You had a choice to be willfully ignorant. 

...but you couldn’t. 

The weapon that had literally turned Dioli into ash- had separated his atoms- was known as a Splinter Bomb. Hydra made weaponry. Built from the power of something called The Diviner. And this so called Diviner… alien tech. Left on earth by a race called The Kree. Thousands of years ago. The Diviners carried inside of them something called Terrigen Crystals- which played into experiments Kree were doing on humans- mutating them- the Terrigen Crystals emitted Terrigen Mist- which activated these mutated genes in humans through a process called Terrigenesis-  turning them into- 

...Inhumans.

Without the presence of the genes, the Diviners would rend human beings. ...which was what happened to Dioli. And countless others who had come into contact with them. 

Coulson was calling your name. You heard it. Barely. Echoing through a fog. There was a tunnel of white around your vision. 

Experiments? Aliens had been doing experiments on people? Thousands of years ago? They’d mutated them? Enhanced them? For what? Why? Where were the Kree now? What were they doing? Would they come back? 

...did this have anything to do with  you? Coulson was saying Mutants and Inhumans were different. Mutants had some sort of mutated gene that was verifiable. That’s how Tony knew you weren’t one. But these Inhumans- it seemed like they were dormant until hit with the presence of these Crystals- 

“Am I-” It took you too long to realize you couldn’t breathe. That you weren’t there. More questions arose. Had SHIELD known about this? If they did, how long had they known? SHIELD had apparently known about the Mutants and Xavier. Fury had some sort of deal with them to leave them alone. If they’d known about this, too- could it have- 

“You are not an Inhuman.” Him saying this helped secure your focus. 

Was that what you were going to ask? Was it even feasible? They’d clearly thought your powers had come from the Tesseract or something Tesseract adjacent, which you now knew to be these Infinity Stones ...something else you didn’t want to think about. But this Inhuman mutated crystal nonsense? “How can you be sure?” 

“Your alteration profile is different. Which means that if you’d been hit with that Splinter Bomb that day, you would have died.” 

A breath sort of wheezed out of you. “Thanks.” As if that really helped. 

“Anything to help.” 

Strangely, that sort of had helped. You felt a little more balanced. But your nerves were shot. “Where are the Kree now? When was their last point of contact?” It seemed like they’d done these experiments all those years ago and then left. For whatever reason. There was data missing, but it was probably just because nobody knew yet. 

But Coulson growing just a little bit uncomfortable shoved you right back onto that edge. “I’m going to be truthful with you. We encountered them again on this planet in 1990.” 

1990. 1990. Why was that year haunting you? What did that have to do with you? This was twice now. 

It was basically twenty pages all blacked out except for a single paragraph about the Tesseract- a subject number- a subject gender- and a date- 1990. Running theory… either she was another experiment. ...or she was you.

But Fury had gotten angry when you’d asked him about all this. And he’d told you- 

“What does this have to do with Carol Danvers?” Coulson moved to shock extremely fast the second that name came out of your mouth. Clearly he hadn’t known that you knew. This was your only chance. Fury had blocked your attempts to learn the truth about this. Tony had no way of getting to the bottom of it, either. But Coulson knew something. So you resorted to pleading. “Please, Phil. Please. I’ve been on a nightmare tour these past few months about how this all connects back to me. I know she was here in 1990. I know SHIELD knew about her- I know it connects to the Tesseract, but Fury said they weren’t doing experiments on her- but whatever happened was the reason they were able to single me out when I was a kid- and now you’re telling me Kree were involved too? If you know something you have to tell me. Please.”

He stewed in his thoughts. Long enough to finally, finally, have a third party appear. You knew exactly why Tony was entering into your office at that moment. You hadn’t called him. -...or maybe you had. Just not over the phone. He grew stormy immediately, seeing Coulson sitting in front of you. Some report on your desk. And you in shambles emotionally, no doubt. 

He always came when you fell apart. Because he knew. He felt it. Maybe on some subconscious level, in moments like these, you reached out to him without him knowing. 

“Looks like I’m interrupting something. Hopefully nothing important.” He tried to keep his own mask up as he closed the door behind himself and came over to your side of the room, perching himself on the corner of your desk. It was clear he was trying to spy on that report out of the corner of his eye, but you reached out, redirecting his attention as you took his hand in yours. 

Barely hanging on. 

As if Tony was not there at all, Coulson picked up where the two of you had left off. There was no point in backtracking, and there was no point in telling Tony to leave. He wouldn’t. Everyone in that room knew that. So, instead, Coulson finally opened up. “Carol Danvers is a human woman who was enhanced by the Tesseract. The blast was accidental. It wiped her memories. The Kree came upon her and treated her like their own- but they were holding her prisoner. Eventually she figured it all out. The Kree and the Skrulls were waging a war. Still are. And Carol and her Kree supervisor finished their battle on earth. SHIELD tailed her the whole time. Got close with her. She’s an ally. But she’s been away for a long time.

Whatever report you think you tracked down- I think I know the one- and for whatever reason- I think I also know that- it’s been redacted. Because of you.” He took a moment to really nail the sentiment of this as he stared at you. Tony’s emotions were going pretty haywire. You eclipsed him entirely. But now his brain was scrambling at a million miles a second to try and piece together why Coulson was talking about this right now so he could catch up enough to grill him about it the second it was over. 

But that wasn’t just yet. Coulson continued after another minute, “We assigned a researcher to that case after she left the planet in 1990. We got some base level information. About her powers and the Tesseract. He worked on it for a long time. Too long. We believe it drove him crazy. So… when one of his instruments picked you up, after the incident with your college professor… he went after you. Off the grid. AWOL. Fury knew his intentions were malicious.” 

You’re lucky you’re not dead.

You remembered Fury saying this to you on the phone. Your head dropped. “Fury killed him.” 

“Fury made a choice. It was him or you. He chose correctly. He dumped the files- anything the guy had on you. Anything to do with you-”

 Tony held a hand up. “Yeah. Except a prelim report and the only eyewitness account that mattered. Funny about that.”

 Coulson sent a dead-eyed stare up his way. “And as I understand it, both those reports are destroyed now. How about that.” He let that sentiment and all it was worth sit before addressing you again. “All the guy’s work work regarding the Tesseract was burned, too. And Danvers. Fury made sure no one looked into what happened to your professor any further.” 

Your gaze fell downward and you’d let go of Tony’s hand, putting both of yours on your legs. Kind of just… clawing absently as you shook your head. “Why?” 

“Because you’re an important asset. Fury knew that. And he was right. Look where you are. Look at what you’ve done.” Coulson was strangely trying to reach out to you even if not physically. It was clear he didn’t like seeing you like this. All… twisted up about this. But how could you be any other way? “Between the both of us… he was fond of Danvers. I think he was holding out hope you’d be like her.” 

A bitter ugly laugh shook from somewhere deep inside you. “Is that what it is? What? I’m a disappointment to him?” Is that why he was so rude? So mean and callous to you at every turn? At every opportunity? 

“Not a disappointment. Just not her.”  

Tony crossed his arms rather tightly. “I realize I’m a little late to the party but- you mind me asking- where is this supposed Wonder Woman of the 90s?” 

Coulson finally acknowledged him as a participant of the discussion. “Away. Far away. We have a method of getting in contact with her, should we need her, but it’s for emergencies only.” 

You absolutely could not help the face you made over this. “If she’s that powerful, why didn’t we call her during the Chitauri invasion?” 

“The Avengers had that handled.” He sounded so sure of himself. 

But this just… it pissed you off. Incredibly so. Your hands found their way flat onto the desk, not in a slam, but there was a pointed noise that arose as you lifted yourself out of your chair. “They almost nuked New York City- where was she then? Tony nearly died and you’re telling me you had an ace in your backpocket this whole time?” 

A flutter of nervousness emanated from Coulson. ...was he scared of you? But it was shadowed by the warmth pounding suddenly in Tony’s chest. Honestly- all this bullshit about this woman- and you- whatever it had to do with you, something or nothing, that was so small in comparison to the fact that SHIELD had a heavy hitter and they were keen to just wait it out while Tony put his life on the line-

If he didn’t need to do that- If they could have called her in? 

“You were waiting. Like always.” Not yelling as you spat this out, but serving it with ice. “Fury counted on Tony handling that nuke, and you guys counted on the Avengers handling it- but if Tony had died going into that wormhole and it hadn’t been enough- then would you have called her? How much loss of life would have been acceptable to you?” 

Coulson stared up at you and held himself very steady. “You’re arguing with me as if I made all those decisions. Let me assure you, I didn’t. No loss of life is acceptable, I think we can both agree on that. But Fury had faith that the Avengers had the situation handled. Disturbing Danvers is for emergencies only.” 

Tony found himself another spot in the conversation. “Because of the implication. What it would do. Sure. Calling what would look like an alien to earth to help out- SHIELD couldn’t handle the amount of damage control they’d have to do in that case. So they got comfortable letting other aliens tear us apart for the betterment of their reputation. Am I getting warm?” 

Coulson settled his hands together in his lap. “This is a completely pointless conversation and a waste of my time. Which has become very valuable as of late.” He directed his attention back towards you. “I’m not here to tell you I’ve always agreed with Fury’s methods. Or SHIELD. You know that’s not the case. Let me deal with the ATCU.” Circling around to the original point of discussion so quickly. 

You had almost forgotten that was even the point of all this. “You say that like you came here to ask me. You didn’t. You’re ordering me to step back.” 

Finally, maybe realizing he was going about this the wrong way, Coulson softened up. “I’m not ordering you to do anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. We both know that. I’m asking you to let me handle this. I already have a hand in this world. I’m already on top of it. And from what I heard, you and Stark were looking at retirement. Start trusting your team to do some work.” 

Tony’s head tipped a little to the side. “Are you part of our team? You’re the new head of SHIELD. We never hear from you unless something important is happening on your end. Like college kids that need money.” 

“If you want me to stay out of things you’re already doing, you need to start actually telling me what you’re doing. You realize that, right? This is getting old.” Tiredness seeped into you, having thoroughly exhausted yourself- ...and the few days without any good sleep wasn’t helping. Coulson telling you he’d take this off your plate? It was practically a godsend. And he was right. You and Tony were supposed to be semi-retired. You didn’t want to deal with this. You just had no choice. 

Up until the point he’d presented you with one. 

Strangely, a small smile came to Coulson’s lips. “That’s a valid point. I’ll make note of it.” He stood from his chair, signaling this meeting was a few seconds from being over. “I know the woman running the project. Rosalind Price. We’re working together.” 

Ah- you did recognize that name. One of the soldiers had said it. But, just to be sure, you sent a dark gaze up his way. “Not to cage kids, I hope.” 

“No. And I’d ask that you hold off on whatever PR work you’re doing for Xavier until we have this all sorted out. Just to make sure these worlds don’t collide any further.” 

Tony held a hand out. “I’m missing a few pieces, but I think I’ve got it. This has everything to do with alien life, doesn’t it? So Inhumans and Mutants aren’t the same. And now you’ve got a lot to deal with before you can let all this get out to the public.” A slight pause and then- “If you ever do.” Hinting at the fact that, like the predecessor before him, Coulson wanted to keep this quiet. 

Which was exactly why he wanted you to stop. Because that was the opposite of what you did. And certainly the opposite of what Charles Xavier wanted. Whether or not Mutans or Inhumans were the same- which, clearly they weren’t- it was all going to start getting swept up into superpowered soup. The average person wasn’t going to care who got powers from what source. 

All they were going to care about was that everyone was suddenly different. And scary. And that road… that road was going to be the most dangerous of them all. 

You had a choice to make here, and it was not an easy one. But. Maybe that was the point of all this. What your team had been saying. And now what Coulson had presented to you. He’d given you more information than he’d come here wanting to give up. And now… now he was asking you to let this go. Again. 

“This coincides deeply with my team. Our world. If this gets away from you in the exact wrong way, we’re all going to pay the price.” Laying it all out there for him. 

He gazed at you, waiting, and then, “I’m well aware.” This was him asking simply: do you trust me? 

Did you? 

A small breath escaped from you. “Fine. I needed time to figure out the Xavier thing anyway. But- I want a report. And not one nine months later when you’re finished. When you’re done you come to me. Is that understood?” 

This time he really did smile fully. “Yes, ma’am.” 

You held a hand up. “No. No. I don’t like that.” That almost implied… he was working for you. And that was a huge no. 

But he was already turning his back on you and heading out. Tony gave an empty wave. “Nice seeing you. Coming to the holiday party?” 

Coulson opened the door. “I’ll see if I can fit it in.” 

Then he was gone. The door was shut behind him. Leaving you and Tony and a big ugly report about aliens and other nonsense sitting on your desk. One Tony wanted to read very badly. You could feel it. 

You put a hand to your head. “Tony.” 

His attention immediately diverted to you. “Yes, honey?” 

“Our anniversary is in two days.” 

“It is.” 

“I’ve been trying to- I’ve been hoping that nothing was going to ruin it.” 

“Funny. Me, too.” 

“That report is going to upset you. It’s going to get your brain going. But if I take it away from you, you’re just going to stress about reading it until you get your hands on it. So.” Finally you looked up at him. “What do you want to do?” 

Leaving it up to him. Because this was going to impact him no matter what. Would delaying it be the worse thing? Or would reading it now and digesting it be the worse thing? Only he knew the answer to that. 

His eyes searched yours, maybe trying to understand just how bad that report was- clearly it was pretty bad, if your reading it had summoned him here shortly after. And he knew it at least had to do with all this alien talk- something that triggered him regularly. You didn’t want him to fall into a hole, but he probably would no matter what. So you needed to know when and where that was going to be. So that you could be by his side and help him. 

Just like how he’d come to help you. 

Reaching, he took hold of one of your hands in both of his. And, gently, “Let’s go away.” 

This was not exactly what you were expecting. “Are you sure?” 

His nod was firm. “Yeah. For a few days. Short anniversary vacation. And everything else… we’ll deal with it when we get back.” 

Feeling a little more secure and just… at home with him, even here, safe and protected from all of this, a smile found you. “I love you.” 

His own smile by comparison was so much warmer. Like a beat of sun shining down on you. “I love you.” 

Two more days. Two more days… and then you’d make it official. Proposing to this man would be one of the best things you’d ever done. Right next to marrying him, you were sure. Whenever that happened. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 179

There were high hopes for August to be a little calmer. A little cooler. A little more what you’d signed up for when you and Tony had said you were stepping away from the Avengers. You wanted to focus a little more on Stark Industries and less on clean up and government hearings. And maybe start planning an actual vacation. Seeing as how the last one got ruined about four days in. 

It was why you’d called Tony to your office. And why he’d agreed to come over from the labs. Such a long and exhausting journey that that was, just a few floors separating the two of you. 

He’d come in with a knowing smile, a little bend over your desk. A small kiss that promised more. 

-once he was done telling you that the developers were finalizing their prep of the plot of land the two of you had picked. And were still being extra quiet about it. No one the wiser. No stories in the press by curious couples in the area. Just the usual. Somebody was moving in. Nobody important. Certainly not the Starks. 

You were halfway into telling him you were thinking about clearing your schedule. And a little more than halfway into a much deeper kiss as he settled his hands on the shoulders of your chair, leaning in from his spot on the corner of your desk. Then something came up. Like it always did. 

This time it was FRIDAY’s voice. Cutting between the both of you. “Boss. Ma’am. Sorry to interrupt.” 

Tony took a deep breath in but held back the sigh, still, the roll of his eyes told the whole story. “I bet.” 

Deciding not to be rude, you tilted your head a little skyward. “What is it, FRIDAY?” 

“There’s been a break-in at the Avengers Facility.”

The two of you sort of just stared at each other. Probably both waiting for the other one to make the first move. To make the call. To decide what either of you were going to do with that information. If you should do anything with it. Hesitation was wearing thin. He spoke- you spoke- one second within one another. Voices overlapping. 

When you stopped, he gestured his hand vaguely at you. As if to say, no no go ahead. So. Ahead you went. “FRIDAY who is at the compound right now?” 

“Aside the usual DC crew patrolling, all Avengers are off grounds, except for Falcon.” 

Falcon. One of the newest and greenest members. Sam Wilson. A man you admired and respected for sure. One of Steve’s new picks. No one objected. And Tony enjoyed retooling those Falcon wings into something really spectacular. But… perhaps Sam was not ready to be in charge of such a huge operation. No. That was Steve’s job. And apparently he was off somewhere else. Which was fine. He didn’t have to be at the Facility all hours of the day. But… funny. How he wasn’t there when something like this happened. 

Tony sat back on the desk, crossing his arms. Waiting. Waiting for you to make yet another call. To decide if this was worth getting involved further in. You two weren’t supposed to be dealing with things like this. Yet… if FRIDAY had an alert- if she knew to alert you- it was more likely that she’d just been trying to tell Tony. And Tony was here. With you. 

Which meant he had protocols set up for this. He was still watching them. He wasn’t really gone. And there was no room for blame here. You were still managing them, too. Your eyes dropped, maybe with a sense of guilt. Right before you asked, “Can you get Sam on the phone, please.” Dejected. 

She connected the call within moments. Sam’s voice was nervous. “Uh- hi- if this is about-”

“That is what it’s about.” The both of you knew why you’d be calling in the middle of the day. Smart man that he was to not play games about it. “Just assure me you have it handled. -and that nothing important got stolen.” 

“I've got it, yeah. And no, nothing important.” 

Tony tipped his head to one side. “You get a read on the guy?” 

Sam scoffed. “Not even close.” And then quickly, realizing his mistake, he amended, “-but I will. You want a report on your desk or something?” 

The two of you looked at each other again. Tony waited. Again. Waited for you. It was hard. It was incredibly difficult, actually, to decide what you did. But. Maybe this was the first real step. “No, Sam. I trust you. Just do what you gotta do.” 

“Thanks. Means a lot.” He was quick getting off the call. 

Tony reached over, settling a hand on your knee. “I’m proud of you.” This was teasing, but only slightly. The rest of it was genuine. 

You found yourself shrugging. “Don’t be.” As far as baby steps were considered, this was barely even half of one. 

                                                             --- 

There were no coincidences in your lives. None. You’d come to that realization a long time ago. Come to grips with what that meant. When a new piece of information that seemed even marginally related to something else blipped in front of you… then yes. It was related. Always. 

It was why, just after Tony had served up dinner, and you were mid-sip into a glass of red wine, the TV turning on didn’t startle you as much as it should have. Neither did FRIDAY, once again, alerting you to something that probably should have been on your radar. “Thought you should see this.” 

WHiH was live on the scene somewhere in California- 

Scratch that. Not just somewhere. They were at Pym Technology’s headquarters. Or what used to, anyway. Because the building had apparently exploded. It was on fire. Right now. Right that second. You were watching it burn to the ground. Live. 

What a world. 

You sat back on the couch, tipping your glass a little. “I guess Darren Cross won’t be sneaking into any more of our parties.” It was easy to joke, but there was something very troublesome about this. 

Tony’s sudden murky mood only made you more aware that this might have been more trouble than you wanted to deal with. “They’ll blame it on some science experiment gone awry.” 

“Not convinced?” 

“Not remotely.” 

That was a fair assessment. It sounded like something either of you would do, if something exploded. Though… your lives were a bit more loudly extravagant in the way of explosions these days. You could probably just call it Avenger related and no one would care to blink an eye. So long as it was only your property that got damaged, anyway. 

You took a long sip of your drink, thinking, watching the flames on screen. After a moment, “Didn’t you tell me once your dad and Hank Pym didn’t get along?” 

This surprised Tony- so much that it startled a short laugh out of him. “Did I?” He turned to look at you, almost with that starry sort of loving appreciation. He sure as hell didn’t remember saying that to you, but you remembered. And that was enough for him. 

“Probably after you’d had one too many one night. After one of our business meetings.” The ones that almost always got you in trouble. Where he tried to get you into bed. And you refused. Hurt his ego. Then the two of you wouldn’t talk for a while. 

God it was so good to not be in that position anymore. 

His smile warmed. “It’s been a long time since one of those. Now we just have casual meetings.” Chuckling just a little bit more as he raised his glass, so you obliged him, clinking yours against it. After he drank, “I remember the night he came home from the spat. I was on loan from campus. Third doctorate, and getting more bored by the second. But dad had a saying about having so much money and no direction… anyway. Spring break. Almost didn’t go back that year.” It sounded like Tony remembered the moment pretty vividly, so much so that you suspected it wasn’t a very good memory. “SHIELD leaks painted the bigger picture. Dad tried to steal from him. Maybe the vitriol was deserved.” 

Steal. The both of you had the spark of recognition after he stopped talking. Your brow arched. “Wasn’t the Facility one of Stark Industries’ old units?” 

“...now I said he tried to steal from Pym. He wasn’t successful. Got caught red-handed. Not as clever as he thought.” Some well deserved snark entered here and you let it slide. 

You found yourself shaking your head a little. “And if Pym wanted to steal something back?” 

“After all this time? Can’t imagine anything there was worth the trouble. We cleaned house pretty good during the shift.” His brows knit as he sat back a little more, staring at the TV. “We don’t have any evidence.” 

That it was Hank Pym, Tony meant. And, sure. He was right. You had nothing. Sam would do whatever Sam was going to do about the breakin. You had promised to leave him alone. You and Tony were not involved. So… even if this was Hank Pym, somehow, for whatever reason… “I’m about to declare case closed on this one.” 

“But before you do?” Tony turned your way, a small lilt of his head. 

“I need you to agree with me that this wasn’t a coincidence.” 

There was a twitch of a brief grin, but it vanished as he sat forward, coming just close enough to press a kiss to your cheek. You let out a sigh, and your eyes closed. His voice was close when he spoke. “We’re well beyond coincidences.”

You had to let this go. Mostly because there was nothing you could do about it. It didn’t involve you. Not unless you involved yourself. ...and you weren’t going to. So that was that. 

                                                            ---

It was the following Friday that the universe continued to try and give you signs that this life was not meant for you. The seventh, five days after the last non-coincidental incident. Two that you’d ignored. Could you ignore a third? 

You had a very important meeting in a couple of hours and had your head down, trying to get through some emails and paperwork so that you could be there on time. But it mattered little. Your meeting found you first. Literally. Walked right through your door. 

JARVIS just seeming to melt through the door startled you for only a moment. He was dressed casually. Something you were still getting used to. Nice slacks and a black sweater despite it being sweltering outside. Maybe that didn’t matter to him. He opened his mouth to speak as he stood halfway into your office, and the door finally opened as if on delay. 

Pepper stuck her head in. “I’m sorry. He just came in- I didn’t even get a chance-” 

You held a hand up. “It’s alright, Pep.” 

JARVIS gave her a small careful smile. “I apologize, Ms. Potts. It is nice to see you, as always.” 

She very obviously made her best attempts to not stare or be awkward. “You, too…” Then quickly she scurried away, closing the door behind her. 

You settled your arms on your desk, looking up at him. Sinking feeling penetrating your heart. “Our lunch isn’t for another few hours.” Much as you were trying to find time for just you, or just you and Tony, whatever life that looked like- much as you were trying to steer clear of the new team of Avengers to let them get their bearings and do their own thing… JARVIS was special to you. You were having a hard time letting him go. Thankfully he didn’t seem to mind. Always acquiescing to texts, phone calls, and the occasional lunch or dinner invite. But this… “Something bad happened.” 

His smile wore thin before vanishing into thin air. “Is in the midst of happening.” Making a small correction. 

There would be no other reason for him to be early, or to be exuding such a tightly controlled sadness. He didn’t want to be here. Bothering you. Asking you what he was about to- what you assumed had to do with a mission. You gestured to the chair in front of your desk. “Sit. Let’s talk about it. What’s going on?” 

Moving in that fluid way of his, he almost seemed to float across the rest of the room, taking a seat. He put one leg up over the other, knitting his fingers together. “We are receiving early reports of Hydra activity in the eastern European region.” 

Realization smacked you broadside and you couldn’t help the shake of your head. “I warned them- I warned Damage Control-” 

“They did their best, I’m sure. However… Hydra has scavenged some of the leftover Ultron sentry parts.” 

Your hands went a little tight, balling into fists. Trying to keep your composure in front of JARVIS was asking for a lot, but try you did. As the heat of anger welled up inside of you. You had asked DC to do their best. To not let a single bolt out of any android be lost. This was why. “Okay.” You said this on a breath out as you tried to soothe yourself down from that red high. “When do you need Tony and I to come in?” 

Shifting forward, JARVIS surprised you, as he reached across the desk, laying his hand atop yours. Smoothing your knuckles out, stopping your nails from biting into your palm. “I am here, Ms. INY, for precisely the opposite reason.” His eyes watched yours as he said this very gently. “I know it won’t be long before you or Tony find this information out. I wanted to tell you first. And let you know that we will handle it.” 

He was absolutely right. You and Tony would find this out, like you kept finding everything else out. Because try as you might (or maybe it was the lack of trying…), this life was sewn into you. A part of you. There was no escaping it. All too right, that once you found out, you’d go back to the team. To be part of that mission. 

But… JARVIS didn’t want that for you, or for Tony. So he’d come ahead of the information leaking. Ahead of a possible phone call from Steve or Natasha asking for help… he’d come hoping to quell your fears. And it was almost like he was giving you permission to look the other way. To do the thing you’d said you were trying to do. Which was plainly just not that. 

It felt wrong. Terribly wrong. Guilt was easy and quick. “What if you need us?” 

A small appeared on his lips, and a warmth emerged in his eyes. You asking that question. Always a treasure. He gave your hand a small squeeze. “Ms. INY…” Exactly why it was as funny as it was charming, you supposed. “The team might suffer, from your lack of guidance. I hope Captain Rogers won’t mind my saying so.” 

You found a little smile of your own and a small shrug. “He won’t hear it from me.” 

“You have my gratitude.” JARVIS sat back finally, readjusting his position in the chair just a little. “But be that as it may, we will never grow in the way that I know you hope for, if you don’t let go.” 

The new team would never be a team if you intervened. And you would never have a life if you kept going back. You had to trust them, for both those reasons. Something strange bubbled up inside you and you caught a wet sheen misting your eyes for one reason or another. The words left you in a lurch. “It’s hard.” Almost childish in the way you were complaining.

But JARVIS softened all the more, head tipping just a little to the side. His inherent understanding soothed you. “It will be one of the hardest things you have ever done, as you have spent so much of this phase of your life building upon this exact foundation. But please believe me when I say that no one judges you for wanting to have a life. And it is entirely okay to tune it out now. To have your time. You deserve it. And I want you to trust me when I say that we will go. We will survey. And we will stop them.” 

Hydra this time. Something else the next. And the next and the next and the next… 

Your smile was a little watery. He hit several nails all on the head. There was an insurmountable level of guilt here. You used to be a superhero, still were. Still took press and meetings and whatever else the Avengers needed, but you no longer wanted to be on the frontlines. That was selfish. But JARVIS was giving you the okay. As he had when you’d tried to leave only a few months ago. 

As he would keep doing, you imagined. So long as you needed him to. 

You didn’t know if you could really let go yet. Clearly you were having a problem. The universe kept telling you no. It made you uncertain. But there was one thing you did know. “I trust you.” 

His smile then filled you completely. “I’m glad.” 

                                                            ---

He couldn’t stay for lunch, which was awful. But he did leave you with a long hug. One that lasted as long as it needed to, but still somehow not long enough. Then he phased right out of your office window, deciding not to scare Pepper again. You waved goodbye to him. Watched him go. And then knew what you had to do next. 

Tony was in his private lab. Working. Working the same way you were. Doing little things. Touching up things you shouldn’t have been. Looking into things that you shouldn’t have been. 

When he caught you out of his peripheral, he looked up, colored lenses reflecting light in his eyes. “Here, look at this.” He took whatever he was working on off its holder- ...a watch, actually. It was a watch. “Hold out your wrist.” 

You did as he asked, and he hooked the band on. It moved to fit snug after he finished clasping it. The design was blocky. A large rectangular face. Not the most fashionable thing in the world- at least not by your standards. He had much better looking watches. “What’s it supposed to do?” Because if Tony was working on it, it did something other than being a watch. 

“Glad you asked.” The movement was familiar, as he double tapped it- much like your Heart Reactor. The watch went a little warm with a hum hitting the air. The rectangle face expanded even further on the sides, and Tony drew out the rest of the contraption with a quick zip of his fingers. It covered your hand completely. 

A mini gauntlet. All set up to blow a repulsor blast. Once the face on the watch had turned inside out, you saw the tiniest of tiny Arc Reactors. “I didn’t know you could make them that small.” Really impressed with that. 

“Neither did I. Until I did.” Grinning. Proud of himself as usual. 

Tony was in his labs. Still making weapons. When the two of you had promised you were mostly done with that. You didn’t make suits or anything like that, but you were still as guilty as he was. It was why you reached up with your non-gloved hand, laying it against his chest. “We’re going on vacation.” 

His brows lifted. “Oh. Where to?” 

“I don’t care. But we’re going. Okay?” 

The two of you needed to leave. It was clear this whole having a life thing wasn’t happening. Fault of the two of you. You just couldn’t stop. It was impossible. And the universe kept giving you reasons not to. It was a cocktail for disaster. So… you needed to go away. You needed to be away from all of this. Putting distance between you and the team, it wasn’t enough. 

Perhaps he knew better than to fight with you. Or he owed you for all the times he’d said that to you before- asked to whisk you away and you’d let him. Or maybe… maybe he understood. Understood that he’d been caught making an iron gauntlet. A weapon. For fights you weren’t supposed to be fighting. Maybe he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it. Or what it meant. 

His arm curled around your waist, bringing you closer and his head dropped in a slow nod. “Yeah. Okay.” 

The two of you needed to go. So you’d go. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 159

The world was so cold. And so much emptier than it had ever been before. How were you supposed to grieve a loss like this? What were you supposed to do? JARVIS was a part of your family. And he’d been a part of Tony’s life far longer than yours. Which made it hard… that Tony was struggling to keep himself together, typing restlessly at a computer, while you still sat on the floor. Motionless. Tears were still falling, but you’d calmed from your desperate, gut wrenching weeping a handful of moments ago. 

Twenty minutes of alone time had turned into an hour when Thor had had to chase one of the Legion suits farther than expected. No other communication had come in from him. That was probably bad. But it was incredibly hard to think. Steve and Nat had radioed to let you know that they were doing a perimeter sweep. That was fine, too. 

Ultron had murdered JARVIS. Now JARVIS was gone. Not only had he killed JARVIS in cold blood- he’d destroyed every part of him. There was no backup to pull from. No prior version. You’d asked Tony several times in increasingly pitched tones as the spiral had come on. Because- ...how. How were you supposed to deal with this? 

It was impossible. Unthinkable. And a blessing when your brain quieted and you just sat there on the floor. Staring out into a blank void. 

JARVIS was dead. Maybe it was even your fault, in some way. The last thing you’d ever told him to do was leave you alone. ...and the last thing he did was try to make sure you would be safe. 

...you deserved very little in life anymore. Of this you were certain. 

Even if something hadn’t gone terribly wrong, even if Ultron hadn’t turned out to be some crazed murder machine, you knew that you would feel the same. That he had to be put down. JARVIS had to be avenged. Wasn’t that your whole thing? Weren’t you an Avenger?

What had happened with Ultron, anyway? Tony hadn’t been lying to you about not being able to complete the program. You were very sure of this. With the way he’d been feeling- panicked and like a failure- there was just no way he thought he was even close to finishing the project. So what then had prompted Ultron’s sudden spark of life? The answer seemed obvious but… you really didn’t want to think about it. What it meant. 

At some point, Tony took the Heart Reactor from you. He probably told you why, too, but his voice was a mere incomprehensible rumble as your brain was still foggy. Bruce came in at some point, dragging with him the shell Ultron had been inhabiting. He tossed it up on one of the lab tables. They started talking at each other. More low murmurs you couldn’t make sense of. But it was when the heat of anger started looming closer that Tony put the Reactor back in your hand. 

The two of you looked at each other. He seemed a little more put together than you. But only on the surface. Behind his eyes you read it all. And a small whimper escaped you, eyes closing, as you reached up to lay a hand on his chest. Just sharing in his pain. How were the two of you supposed to deal with this? 

He backed off when heavy footsteps entered the lab. Maria sat herself down on a chair. Rhodey was pacing. Steve propped himself against the nearest wall, arms crossed tight. Natasha went to one of the computers. Clint perched himself on a stool. Helen stood warily by. All eyes were on the three of you. Tony standing with his back to the group, looking over Ultron’s former body. Bruce standing close by, also turned away. And you. Sitting almost helplessly on the floor. Eyes unfocused. Clutching the Heart Reactor to your chest. 

When the accusing looks and stiff silence became too much, Bruce started talking. And finally you understood words again. He was hunched in on himself a little. Guilty. “All our work is gone… Ultron cleared out… used the internet as an escape hatch…” 

Steve’s ire drew your attention as he spit the word in a whisper, “Ultron.” He looked at you. And for a short moment in time he seemed so… foreign. You’d never seen him look at you this way before. He was a complete stranger. 

Natasha’s harried keystrokes stopped and she sighed. “He's been in everything. Files... surveillance.” Turning she cast a look around the room. “He probably knows more about us than we know about each other.“ That statement struck a cold wave of fear through you and your eyes darted to Tony. Maybe even too knowingly, but you weren’t really in the right mind to try and control yourself. 

His calm and careful gaze steadied you out, though. Assured you without words that you were okay. If only in that one area, at the very least. 

Rhodey curved his pacing into the center of the room. “He's in your files, he's in the internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?” This was quickly turning into a- perhaps rightfully deserved- shitshow. 

Maria said what was on everyone’s mind. “Nuclear codes.” 

How were you going to explain this to Ellis? To the UN? That you, Bruce Banner, and Tony Stark were responsible for a crazed artificial intelligence- an alive being that now wanted to murder the planet? God. What had you done? Rhodey was gesturing at you very suddenly. “Look, we need to make some calls. Assuming we still can.” 

While you still had no strength to get up, you just found yourself nodding. “I’ll start in with Ellis. If we don’t tell him first he’ll just meltdown in the aftermath, and we can’t handle that right now. Talbot might be the next call-” You had to work and work fast. Clean up had to be imminent. You just had to figure out how the hell you were supposed to explain any of this. 

...were you and Tony going to jail for a long time? 

Natasha waved her hands. “Wait a minute- we’re assuming he’s after everyone else. But he said he wanted us dead.” 

Steve was still glaring at you as he spoke, “He didn’t say dead. He said extinct.” Which was probably worse than dead. That spoke of some untold destruction that he was planning. Now if only you could find him and put a stop to him. Super easy, right? 

Clint got to his feet, clutching his arm. “He also said he killed somebody.” 

Immediately you turned your head down, closing your eyes tight. Everyone was so mad with you- with Tony and with Bruce. And maybe they had a right. But they had no idea the extent of things. They had no idea the pain- 

Maria looked up and you only realized just now she was picking glass out of the soles of her feet, “There wasn’t anyone else in the building.” Good update on the perimeter scan, at the very least. At least no one else had gotten hurt. 

Tony turned sharply, shifting his phone in his hand. “Yes there was.” You didn’t want him to do this. They didn’t deserve to know. You still needed time to process this- 

Part of you wanted to turn away, as Tony pushed JARVIS’ demolished- destroyed consciousness into the air again. All that spilled orange. The stillness interrupted by twitching glitches. The deadness- the scene of a fresh murder. No longer humming. Pulled to pieces. You didn’t want to look. But you did. The tears started again. 

Tony put his phone down and came to stand next to you. With increasingly heavy weight, you sagged to the side. Resting your head against his leg as you still sat. He felt like he was curving closer towards you, too, one hand reaching out to cradle the back of your head. The two of you were very suddenly the only stable points in the room for one another. Holding each other up. 

Bruce stepped closer to the hologram, holding his hands up, touching through it briefly. “JARVIS…” The look he cast at the both of you was nothing short of sorrowful. “...this is insane…” His tone was one of mourning. 

Steve’s fury finally quieted down, and his head lowered. Hopefully out of respect. “JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would’ve shut Ultron down. It makes sense.” 

It was clear that Ultron had viciously attacked JARVIS. Killed him- so that meant- 

...the distress. The panic. That feeling that had crawled up your skin and hit you like lightning- ...that was JARVIS? You’d- ...you’d felt him in his final moments? Was that even possible? Could you- could you even handle knowing that? It felt like you were being sucked into a black hole. 

Bruce shook his head. “No- Ultron could’ve assimilated JARVIS. This isn’t strategy… this is rage.” 

A swift storm was suddenly barging into the room. With it came the heavy thuds of Thor’s boots as he made a quick line for Tony- no one had any time to react, least of all you- very suddenly he’d taken Tony by the throat, lifting him up into the air. 

This was not happening. This was not happening. Your body almost piloted itself as you sprang up, letting Thor’s fire consume you along with the mix of grief. You would not lose anyone else. No one was allowed to put their hands on Tony. Not while you were right there. The Heart Reactor was on your chest. And you were drawing out a gauntlet. Aiming a repulsor shot- 

And getting it off, no less. All without any thought involved. Pure instinct. Just the drive to protect what little you had left- 

It knocked Thor back, just enough for you to put your hands out to steady Tony’s fall. His arms were on yours, wobbling on his legs as you directed a glare Thor’s way. “You put your hands on him again and we’re gonna have real problems.” Warning. Warning everyone in that room. 

Tony was only human. Maybe everyone else forgot that. Thor could have snapped his neck had he had a mind to. Your grief had perhaps turned you feral. Everyone in the room felt like they were quickly backing off. Good. 

To think you all had just been joking and laughing only a little while ago. 

Steve cut everyone back to square one, “We don’t have time for this.” Looking at you before glancing back at Thor. “What’s the report on the Legionnaire?” 

Thor was glaring up a storm at both you and Tony. “Trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it's headed north. Now we have to retrieve the scepter. Again.” He raised a finger to point at you. Rather accusingly. “I thought better of you.” No matter how angry you were right at that moment- ...that stung. 

Tony put a hand up. “Don’t rope her into this. It was me. It’s my fault.” 

Steve’s head turned sharply. “Mind explaining then why it called her mother?” He was just as disappointed. “You all were in on this. Don’t try and hide it now. It’s a little late for that.” 

Both you and Tony made some sort of noise- about to argue against each other. He was trying to protect you. You wanted to stand with him. But Helen speaking cut the both of you off. “I don’t understand.” The heat in the room died again as everyone turned to her. “You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?” 

Just as everyone had looked at Helen, all the stares were now directed your way again- or maybe Tony’s. Because he’d suddenly turned to the table, putting his palms flat on the surface. You double tapped the Reactor to shut it down and then put a hand on his back. Beneath your steady fingers he was holding so tight he was trembling. You worried he might break- 

But then it happened anyway. A soft little laugh escaped him. And it made you intensely worried for him. He was fraying at his edges. “Tony…” You’d cried over this. He was laughing. 

What a mess.

Thor’s voice was annoyed behind the both of you. “You think this is funny?” 

��No?” He pushed himself to stand straight again, asking this of you first. Then he half turned to look around the room. “No?” Asking again. “It’s probably not…” His gaze was sweeping out across a room that at least had the integrity to suddenly be worried for him. Not more than you though. “Is this very terrible? Is it so-?” Caught by another errant chuckle. “Is it so…?” He then looked back at you- you who had no idea what to do. How to help him. And then he looked at Bruce who was vehemently shaking his head. This gave him enough of an idea and the laughter died, yet he was strangely still smiling. “It is. It’s so terrible.” 

Raising his hand, Thor spoke in a somewhat reprimanding tone. Like a parent might to their child. “This could have been avoided if you hadn’t played with something you don’t understand.” 

“No.” Tony flipped to his next emotion so fast it gave you whiplash. Thor was talking down to him. He didn’t like it at all. Neither did you, to be fair. As he stepped closer to Thor, not one to be intimidated, you trailed carefully close to him. “I’m sorry- it’s funny- it’s a hoot that you don’t get why we need this.” His anxiety was flaring. 

Thor stared him down. “You’ve meddled with something far beyond your understanding, Stark. And the penance you’ll pay will outweigh whatever petty ghosts drove you there-” 

“How dare you.” You suddenly found yourself shoulder to shoulder with Tony. You’d go down with him, if you had to. You’d fight a god, much as you wouldn’t like to. ...this all felt oddly familiar... In fact- “Were you not the one that warned us years ago? That we were being watched? That SHIELD had signaled to all the realms that earth was ready for a higher form of war? Excuse us for trying to-” 

Bruce’s nervousness stopped you. “You guys… maybe this might not be the time-” 

Tony’s head whipped to the side to give Bruce quite the look. “Really? That’s it? You just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?” This was a harsh assessment. Not one you were sure you agreed with. 

But Bruce made you lucky to not have to pick your next backer as he shook his head. “Only when I’ve created a murderbot.” 

“We didn’t.” Tony seemed vehement about this. Angry that apparently that’s what all the signs pointed to. He started waving his hands around. “We weren’t even close. Were we close to an interface?” This was what you had assumed. Something else had happened. Tony had been devastated over not finishing Ultron. 

And then he’d just shown up anyway. 

Steve stopped the in-fighting. “Well you did something right. And you did it right here.” As you turned to look at him, you realized he was staring right at you. “The Avengers were supposed to be different from SHIELD. You knew that better than anyone- at least I thought so.” Finally you caught it. Underneath everything else Steve was feeling- ...there was bitter betrayal. Like you’d done this to him. On purpose. 

Maybe it would have been better to take the silent judgment. But you couldn’t help but try to defend yourself against a thought like that. “This wasn’t some shadow security council decision- this wasn’t some buried nuclear weapons drive- we just wanted a safeguard-” 

“And when were you gonna tell any of us about it?” 

“When it started mattering!” Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to raise your voice. Or start devolving. But you just didn’t have a good hold on yourself. “They weren’t close- we weren’t.” Hell. If everyone was determined that you had your hands in this pie, you had to start owning up to it. Even if you weren’t behind a desk coding. You still knew. Steve was right about that, at least. “This was just a project- it was an idea. One born out of desperate and obvious measures.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re starting to sound a lot like someone we know.” 

It was almost like he’d reached out and slapped you right across the face. Worse yet… was he right? Oh no...

“Hey-” Tony drew everyone’s attention away from you. Thank god. “Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?” It was impressive, the facade he was putting up. Everything else inside of him was falling to pieces. 

Rhodey shook his head. “No. It’s never come up.” Maybe right now wasn’t the best time for sass. 

Tony started pacing. “Anyone remember when I saved New York? Recall that? Anyone?” His voice raised and then quieted into something serious as he directed his eyes around the room. Pointed on each person. “A hostile alien force came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it.” He looked at you as he stopped moving, close enough for your hand to brush his. “We're the Avengers.” Like some solemn promise he was still sticking by. No matter the cost. He then looked at everyone else. “We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but, that up there?” Pointing up to nowhere. “That's...that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?”

If this wouldn’t make them see why your group had been trying to figure this out… what would? An impassioned speech from a worried heart. It seemed like none of them took any of this as seriously as they should have. Tony was carrying the literal weight of the world on his shoulders. For them to turn a blind eye to it- and then get angry- 

Steve stepped forward. Getting a little too close after the vitriol he’d just spit at the both of you. “Together.” This sounded like a promise he was making. Or maybe trying to make you keep to. Hard to say. 

Tony’s fingers twined with yours, his hand clutching yours tight. But it was Steve he was looking at as he made the sure statement, “We’ll lose.” A quiet breath caught in your lungs. 

He sounded so very sure. And you knew exactly why. 

But Steve was unmoving. “Then we’ll do that together, too.” It was like that one statement had cut Tony’s strings. He went a little slack, and your hand moved to glide up his back, gently directing him to the nearest table again. Steve continued, but your focus was elsewhere. “Ultron’s calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller.” 

Tony was having trouble breathing. His hand was pressing up against the center of his chest. You needed to get him out. “Let’s go upstairs.” Tone gentle. Steve had no idea the death sentence he’d just handed Tony. Tony had seen something. Horrors. He knew. He knew for a face- yes- you all would lose together. And that meant the end of everything. Of everyone. And he couldn’t handle that. Burdened with that knowledge.

He nodded, and yet, “Seems like we got a mess to clean up.” The smile on the corner of his lips was tight. But in his eyes you saw the turmoil eating him up. And deeper still, you felt his terror creeping back up.

“We’ll clean it up. We always do.” Assuring him of this. “But ten minutes upstairs won’t hurt.” Wanting to give him the permission he so desperately needed. But when he seemed stuck just staring at you- “Please, Tony. For me.” 

That was just enough to get through to him. “Yeah- sure, honey.” 

You guided him with that hand at his back, trudging through the lab to the door. All eyes were on you. Not that it mattered. But before you could make enough headway, Steve’s hand wrapped around your arm. It startled you- and you perhaps didn’t mean the dark look you sent up his way. He backed off only a little. “I need to talk to you.” 

It was so easy to tell him off. “Not right now.” Because right now Tony was far more important. And it was clear what teams people had picked. 

If it ended up you and Tony against the world… you’d plant yourself beside him. No matter what. More disappointment roiled off Steve, but you had no room for it at the moment. He finally let you go. “Later, then.” Like he was going to hold you to that. 

You didn’t say anything to him as you pulled away and kept moving. Tony’s strength held him up as far as the elevator. And then when the doors closed, he put his arms around you. Tight. So you held him back just as hard. “We’re okay.” Trying to remind him. Trying to help him the best you could. 

These people understood very little- these people were also your family. People you loved. But how could they all stand there and pretend like nothing was coming? Like the Battle of New York hadn’t mattered? As if it had come and gone and there were no repercussions? Thor, especially… And Steve- your heart was hurting. 

Tony just clutched to you. And said nothing at all. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 169

The team was heading out. Only a small amount of time allotted to get everything together. Sokovia was to be the next and last stop. It was strange to think you were headed back to where it all started- mere days ago. It felt like years at this point. And if everything went wrong there, there was no coming back. Ultron would win and there was no telling what that would mean. ...save perhaps the destruction of humankind. Maybe you’d get a chance to properly ask him. 

Everyone had gone off in different directions to prepare. Tony had even left your side to head upstairs to the penthouse. To prepare, you knew. It left you standing idly by, a little drained. Not sure you were entirely ready for the fight ahead. JARVIS- ...though you’d been hearing the whispers of Vision on everyone’s tongue- had headed to perch outside. Thor seemed to have joined him. Steve had gone somewhere with Clint. And the twins- 

...the twins. 

They were just rummaging about in the private quarters. Places where they shouldn’t have been. They’d followed Steve, you realized a little too late in your stupor. And so you followed them. Steve was nowhere in sight, but Pietro and Wanda were close to Natasha’s room. Doing what you had no idea. 

At least until they came out and looked just as caught as they should. Wanda was wearing one of Nat’s leather jacket. A stylish red one. You put your hands on your hips. “So. You’re on our side now? Is that what you told Steve?” Something had happened in Seoul, that much was clear. 

You needed to know what it was. Now. Because apparently they were headed into battle as part of your team. And you didn’t yet trust them. That had to change, quickly. And they had very little time to convince you. Wanda kept half behind Pietro, perhaps a little frightened of you. Of your oncoming judgment. You weren’t sure if that was a good thing. 

There was no expression on his face, though his eyes told a story of remorse you bought into only because you felt a flicker of it. “We helped create a monster. Fixing it… there’s only one shot at that.” Now or never, basically. He was right. 

They were young. And stupid. And reckless. And still angry, too. “You were hellbent on destroying Tony’s life. Tell me why I should trust you when he’s got his back turned?” 

Wanda finally found a little bit of courage. “Because this is more important than Stark. Than you.” Well. She wasn’t wrong.

You kept your gaze steady on her. “What made you change your mind? What finally got through to you- that Ultron is only out for destruction? What changed?” They’d been so keen to turn away from it, as long as following behind him benefited their revenge schemes. What was the push? 

Her eyes dropped. Both unable to keep your stare and ashamed. “I looked- into him. The thing in the Cradle. I saw his dreams of annihilation.” She’d said something similar to JARVIS. “I want no part of this any longer. Not this.” 

She and her brother clearly had changed their tune. At least for the moment. They felt guilty. They’d done something terrible. They’d paved a path for Ultron to stomp the earth. But that didn’t exactly erase everything that had come before it. So much pain they’d caused in such a short amount of time. It was hard to decide if grilling them was worth it right now. If it would help more than it would hurt. Yet still, you squared up. “There were fourteen deaths in Johannesburg.” 

Wanda’s hands clenched at her sides, and Pietro’s protectiveness flared. His voice went tight. “And there will be many more if we continue to be snide with each other. There’s no time for this.” 

“I disagree.” Your tone curbed him to heel- he actually startled a little with your declaration. “Look. I get making the wrong moves and one day waking up. I do.” Tony, in fact, had perhaps a very similar dawning realization. Except his hands had been a little more off the wheel in willful ignorance, than actually purposefully spilling blood on soil. Yet still, his journey on the rebound had been the loudest. And if these two had no intention of repenting in similar fashion, you couldn’t trust them. “But human lives- ones you’re now concerned with- were just collateral damage. You didn’t just hurt Tony, you forced Bruce’s hand. You forced him to murder people. To hurt people. Just for a shot at revenge.” 

Turning her head in a little shake, her voice was a quiet tremble, “An eye for an eye, and the world goes blind. Is that it?” 

Pietro put his hand on her shoulder, but his eyes stayed with you. “Better one eyepatch than a-” Brow raising as he tried to think, “-a blindfold.” It wasn’t quite the word he was looking for, but you got the picture. “Stark can make amends. Why not us?” 

“Tony made immediate and drastic changes.” Your own defensiveness in his stead was getting the better of you. 

Wanda’s anger flared. “He is not the only one capable of that.” 

“Prove it.” You stopped her fire yet again. “You’re asking me to go into battle and trust the both of you blindly. Can you at least understand why that’s difficult? This won’t be like anything you’ve ever faced. And if I can’t count on every last ounce of your courage, I don’t need you there. And I don’t need to be concerned about whose team you’re actually on.” 

This was a mess. You were now bringing two young kids into a firestorm. One, yes, that they were acknowledging they mildly helped create. But. Then again. Hadn’t you- in some way? Your involvement had been accidental, but Ultron was still here because you’d been a chef in that kitchen. You had to make this right. You had that drive. And if they didn’t, they were free to disappear into the night. 

You put your hand up with a little wave towards the elevator. “This is your one and only chance to leave.” Putting it on the table for them. Almost waiting for them to grab it. For Pietro to pick her up and rush out. 

They stood firm. “We’re going to Sokovia. Those are our people.” 

“This is bigger than Sokovia.” It was difficult to let them skate by. And you were having trouble figuring out why it was that you weren’t giving them a pass. ...it probably had everything to do with their malice where Tony was involved. And your bias here probably wasn’t helping anyone. 

But, to your surprise, Pietro was suddenly wearing a lazy grin. “Well, we’ve got to start somewhere, no?” 

It seemed they had their own biases navigating their choices for them. You just hoped they’d meet somewhere in an amicable middle. 

They might not have understood it, but… 

There would be no refuge for them if they turned around and hurt the team. 

                                                                  --- 

Finally making your way upstairs, knowing it would be your last stop, you found Tony in the penthouse- in his private office. It wasn’t often he spent time there, rathering to bring work with him wherever he was. Usually curled up to you somewhere, in bed or on the couch- at least if he wasn’t in the labs. He had some sort of bootup computer on his desk, and a few… well, you weren’t sure what they were- slim drives, maybe? 

Something of his own creation, that was for sure. 

They were scattered across the table, and he had his palms on the glass, leaning in. There was a soft glow of resignation encasing him. Stepping up closer, you put an arm around him. “Everything alright?” 

The brief touch of his smile was heavy, and with it came some stale noise of amusement. “You know… I think I was holding out hope. That I’d be able to put JARVIS back together. It’s why I left the suit alone.” 

Casting your glance down at the table where his attention was glued, you saw now- the little black drives had names on them, labels sitting atop what looked like a picture of neural wiring. ...at least that was your best guess.

 JOCASTA. TADASHI. VIRGIL. PLATO. HOMER. HELEN. It was almost a little shocking. That he had so many. Because you understood, just from the way he was feeling, and what he was saying… You gave him a little squeeze. “There’s no replacing JARVIS.” 

“Certainly not. I’m sure he’ll be pleased as punch to hear it. ...if that’s still him in there. Somewhere.” His head turned then, looking at you. Searching. Wanting to ask now that the two of you were alone. But also not wanting to ask, if the answer was something he wouldn’t like. 

You tried to offer a calmer light. “That’s JARVIS. But. Kind of like an evolved JARVIS. He’s… he’s got a lot going on.” 

“Yeah. Well.” Tony sighed a big breath out. “Who doesn’t, these days.” His attention turned back to the table and he reached out, finally selecting one of the drives. One labeled FRIDAY. “I guess it’s time to move on.” There was a certain amount of grief. Finally giving himself that bare moment of acknowledging it. 

Sure. Some version of JARVIS was now currently sitting on your roof talking to Thor. But. It wasn’t his JARVIS. And never would be again. That JARVIS was gone. That voice wouldn’t be helping him pilot Iron Man, anymore. He wouldn’t greet you in the mornings, or tell you what the weather was like. He wouldn’t answer phone calls or put out locates when you asked. Just… doing whatever you needed. Whenever you needed.

That JARVIS was gone. The two of you were intensely lucky you’d managed to salvage him- or rather find him and then repurpose him. But… that part of your lives was over. Really now. For sure. And Tony had been holding out some small sliver of hope that he’d be able to undo it. At least up until about four hours ago. 

Without waiting any longer, he slid the chip into his harddrive. A readout and startup blinked to life on screen. “Friday. As in my gal?” Asking him with as much humor as you could muster. 

“Might as well be.” Finally, he put his arm back around you. “Though no one’s as my gal as you are, if we’re being honest.” 

“Does it stand for something?” As if you had to ask, with Tony. 

“Framework Replicating Intelligence Digital Assisting Youth.” Quite the mouthful. You wondered briefly what the other ones stood for. But finally the bootup had completed, and a lilting Irish accent caught you by surprise. “Good evening, boss. Ma’am.” 

It was too much to ask that you just get over everything. But. She was new. And none of this was her fault. And she’d now be guiding not only Tony, but probably a lot of your daily life. As did JARVIS before her. So, with that in mind, you smiled (in no direction particularly). “Nice to meet you FRIDAY. Welcome to the family.” “Thanks very much. I’ll do my best.” 

Tony typed a few things onto the screen, things beyond your comprehension. “Good evening, FRIDAY. Recalibrate Mark 45, start a hard boot integration and prepare for launch in five minutes.” 

“I’m on it, boss.” 

“Now that she’s busy…” He turned fully away from the desk, so you mirrored him, and glanced up. “You talk to the kids?” 

Though your eyes narrowed in suspicion for only about two seconds, you couldn’t help your light grin. “How’d you know?” 

“Seems pretty obvious. Like something you’d do.” To be fair, no one knew you quite as well as Tony did at this point. And he was right on the money. “What’d they have to say for themselves?” 

To this you gave a shrug. “They want to help. Seems like something woke them up pretty suddenly.” 

“You trust them?” 

“I don’t have time to babysit. And believe me, after their little revenge game was made abundantly clear, if I thought I couldn’t turn my back on them, they’d be in a holding cell.” Your own life be damned, but putting Tony in another line of danger while he would already be fighting for the fate of the world seemed like a stupid thing to do. 

He nodded. “Sure. I trust your judgment.” He really did, too. That was the thing. 

If you said go, he was right next to you. If you said stop, he was always on your team. And if you said the twins could be trusted… he had faith in your decision. As always, it was a heavy weight to bear. 

Leaning up, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him down just a little. Holding on to him. This would be the last time you’d be able to indulge for a long while. And just his warmth against you, the way he felt, the spice of his cologne so close to you… it was intensely comforting. And it served to ground you. Something you only just realized you needed. Even more so when his arms came back around you. 

There were no words needed. The both of you knew what you were about to do. About to face. What it meant, if even one thing fell out of line. 

You hated this life. You hated it. But you had no choice. 

Once the both of you found strength enough to part, you met with the group down on the deck level. Clint was firing up the jet. The sense of unease and hesitancy filled the room to the brim. Bruce was glancing around warily, but strangely it was Tony who offered the pessimism, “No way we all get through this.” 

So much of a shock, in fact, that you gave him a little push to his side. “What the hell is that? You wanna start a betting pool while we’re at it?” 

His little smirk was appreciative. Maybe your shove had shoved some sense into him. “If there’s even one tin soldier left standing, we’ve lost. I’m just being a realist. There’s gonna be blood on the floor.” 

Steve looked up, apparently sharing in this pre-battle self deprecating mirth. “I’ve got no plans tomorrow night.” He seemed so different now. Amicable and kind- with his teammates. Right before war. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Considering… if this all went well… 

He’d be the one you were looking at, to help you get out. To get over the Avengers, if such a thing was even allowed. 

Tony took a deep breath in. “I get first crack at the big guy. Iron Man’s the one he’s waiting for.” 

You hadn’t realized JARVIS (Vision- still terribly undecided on what you were going to call him officially…) was striding across the floor until he was almost just past you. What he offered up was even more surprising, “That’s true. He hates you the most.” 

There was a soft noise of shock from you- small and stilted. Like you couldn’t believe he’d say such a thing. Tony looked pretty offended, too. But then the two of you looked at each other and lifted your shoulders in a mirror-move. “Can’t argue with that.” 

A little too literally. You’d have loved to go to Ultron and try to convince him otherwise, but. Can’t argue with that. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 129 [Begin: Jessica Jones: Season 1]

You had to clamp down. Immediately. Had to really fight and claw your way out of that oncoming panic at the mere thought that that man was not only not dead but apparently wandering around and now enough of a threat that the woman who had verbally attacked you on a sidewalk ages ago thought to seek you out. Yeah. All of this was fucked. And you had to really grip yourself tight in order to not just explode into a cloud of anxiety. 

“We can’t talk about this here.” On a public sidewalk, where people were already taking notice that you were standing around. 

“I’m not going to your little fancy tower of super-idiots.” And, of course, she was going to make this as difficult as possible. 

You really just weren’t well equipped to be dealing with this right now. Going home was the best idea. For you. But she didn’t want to go there. “So what do you suggest? I can ask for a back table at a restaurant somewhere-” Somewhere private. And quiet. 

“No. I’ve got a better idea.” Hooking her hand back she pointed, “That your car?” 

“Yes.” 

“Get in. Let’s go. I’ll tell your driver where to take us.” Her disdain was already overtly obvious. And you were drowning in it. 

This was practically spelling out TROUBLE to you in big letters. Huge letters. There was no way any of this was good. She wanted to take you to a private location. ...but you could handle yourself. Even if she was stronger than average. Although the second you got into the backseat of your car- and she sidled in next to you- Happy put his arm across the back of the passenger seat so he could turn around. 

And stared at her. Then it clicked. “You’re- no- absolutely not- I’m calling Tony-”

“Don’t call Tony, Happy- everything is alright-” Already fighting to gain control of this situation.

“Are you being held against your will? Are you under duress? Blink twice if you’re in danger.” He pointed a finger her way. “Listen lady, I’ll call the Avengers down here so fast you won’t know what hit you-” 

Jessica just deadpanned a look your way. “This is your head of security? Really?”

This was already a shit show, so you figured why not go all out. Setting your hand on Happy’s shoulder, you willed a little calm over him. “Look, I’m okay, alright? She and I just need to go somewhere private to talk.” 

Happy mulled this over. But, thankfully, he stopped being so explosive. “Alright. Fine. But I’m watching you, you understand?” Pointing Jessica’s way a few more times for good measure. Then he turned around to set his hands on the wheel. “Where am I taking you?” 

Jessica leaned forward. “It’s this bar called Luke’s.” 

She was halfway through giving the address when you felt your face scrunch up. “A bar? It’s twelve thirty in the afternoon.” 

“You want somewhere dark and private right? Where no one will spot royalty? Nobody will see you there, your majesty.” 

Clenching your hands in your lap, you had to bite back everything inside of you. She’d made it more than clear she didn’t like you when she’d first assaulted you on the sidewalk more than a year ago- ...although technically you’d made the first strike. She may have even hated you. And maybe that was fair. So you had to eat this. You just had to take it. Because it wasn’t even a quarter of what you deserved. 

The air in the car was incredibly uncomfortable. No one spoke. Everyone was tense. So it was a godsend that the Happy made good time to this little bar off the beaten path. In Hell’s Kitchen, no less. You didn’t think you’d be back in this part of the neighborhood so soon. Once Jessica got out and made for the door, Happy turned back, “You want me to go with?” 

“No. Thank you- we’ll only be fifteen minutes. If I need you I’ll call, alright?” Figuring you probably wouldn’t. Jessica didn’t seem like she was taking you somewhere to try and off you. And if she tried, even despite what you knew about her (or even what you didn’t) you were mostly sure you could handle it. Although… that thought had you pausing just as you stepped out, leaning back in the car. “Don’t call Tony. Okay? At least not as an emergency.” Not wanting it to seem like you were hiding this from him, but also not wanting Happy to whip him up into a panic. 

He just nodded. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll be here. Anything even feels remotely off you let me know, okay?” 

A fresh wave of irritation caught your attention so you shut the car door and made your way over to the bar where Jessica was holding the door open for you. Inside was- as she had said- dark, almost overtly so, but with a gentle yellow-orange glow mostly emanating from a well backlit bar. Nobody was inside except for what seemed to be the bartender who was wiping down the counter. Shaved head with a full goatee. Very big and tall- muscular. He’d even put Steve to shame. And that was saying something. 

“Sorry- we’re not officially open yet-” His voice was low and kind of sweet. 

Jessica’s curt tone contrasted him heavily. “You’re open enough.” A slight bubble of happiness opened up above him as he lifted his head with a similar smile- that was until he saw you. And then it all died. She pushed you a little further in. “We’re gonna sit in the back. Don’t mind us.” 

He was frowning then. “Sure thing.” Watching you as she led you to a small table nestled in the back corner. Not really that far from the bar or the door considering the place wasn’t that big, but it was in the back enough. Just as the two of you sat down, though, he seemed to reconsider, clearing his throat. “Can I talk to you?” Waiting until she turned to look at him. “Up here? Now?” 

“Ugh. Don’t get up.” Warning you as she stood again and went to half lean over the bar. “What?” Making no effort to hide her voice. 

He did lower his tone. But only a little. “What are you doing?” 

“We’ll be gone in ten minutes.” 

“No Jess.” 

“I wasn’t really asking.”

“Take this somewhere else.”

“Look. I don’t want to be anywhere near her either. But-”

“No- no, Jess. Whatever this is- not here. Okay? I already got enough trouble. I don’t need this here.” 

Basically at your wit’s end, frustration leaked out of you and you really couldn’t help yourself. Hands coming down just a little hard on the table as you stood, “I can hear you, you know.” 

He frowned deeply then, slinging his bar towel over his shoulder, turning towards you. “Look, ma’am, I just don’t want any trouble. I don’t mean any disrespect.” 

Jess made a face at you. “I do. So sit your ass back down.” She then turned to him. “Ten minutes.” 

He stared her down. “Ten. Then both of you are out.” 

She tipped all the way over the bar to reach for something behind, shifting back on her feet when she’d pilfered a whiskey bottle. “Thanks. Knew you’d understand.” Shaking it at him and then coming back down to sit. Unscrewing it she took a hefty swig. 

The man at the front turned his back to both of you, “You’re paying for that.” 

“Put it on my tab.” Yelling back to him. She then set her eyes square on you. “So. I have some questions for you.” 

Your patience had worn thin by this point. “If you brought me here to needle me again-”

“No. I’m doing the talking now. I know you’re not used to not being in control but this is the part where you shut up and listen.” When everything inside of you flared and you opened your mouth again, she held a finger dangerously close to your face, silencing you while she took another long sip of liquor. She then reached into her jacket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper and tossed it your way. “You know her?” 

Entertaining this, for lack of a better option, after sitting again you opened it and took a long look at the girl. A young blonde woman stared back out from the paper. “I don’t.” Sure you’d never seen her before.

“Of course you don’t. That’s Hope Shlottman. She disappeared about a month ago. Kilgrave abducted her. Which makes this your fault.” As you looked up at Jessica, her eyes hardened. “Her kidnapping. Her rape. All of it. That falls on you.” 

A million things wanted to come out of your mouth. First was defense. Jessica had accosted you and told you Kilgrave had died. When asked of how sure she’d been, she’d doubled down. But… you weren’t looking for that man, were you? No. You’d given up the second you’d fled the scene. So what difference would it have made? No. You had no defense. 

Except… 

“You got free, too.” 

“Don’t start barking up that tree. You got free first. And you ran.” 

Heart slamming in your chest, you decided it was really now or never. “So did you.” 

Her mouth twisted into a snarl. “Yeah, well I don’t have the fucking Avengers and a billion dollar corporation wiping my ass for me, so I’d say you had a little more resources than I did to deal with him.” 

“But you’re like us-” 

“I’m nothing like you people.” Slamming a fist down on the table so hard it cracked. Immediately after she turned her head away, trying to regain a little bit of control. You sat there in shame and bitterness while she took a breath. She was calmer but no less angry when she spoke again. “I ran. You ran. The difference is I thought he was dead. You knew he was alive and you still didn’t do anything about it.” 

“Would you have?” Focusing hard on her. “Knowing what he can do- you think I want him on the streets? But knowing what he’s capable of- you think I want my team underneath his thumb?” 

“That’s not an excuse.” 

“I know it’s not.” Growled, holding your hands so tight underneath the table you were sure your nails were cutting into your palms. “You think I just walked free and went about my life? You think I don’t know I should have done more? I didn’t know how without risking them- and risking them risked every life in this city.” 

Jess considered this. Went quiet for a moment. Took another drink. “So. What? That makes Hope less important? That makes the other women before her that we don’t even fucking know about less important?” 

“Of course it doesn’t. It’s not an excuse. I could have tried to figure out how to do more- I didn’t. But I couldn’t risk-”

“The greater good, is that the bullshit you’re feeding me? That you’ve been feeding yourself so you could feel better this whole time?” 

“What do you think would happen if he got control of Captain America? Of Thor? You think he’s bad now? He craves power. I would have been handing it to him hand over fist.” 

She breathed out a noise, half smirking, eyes going down as she nodded. “Yeah. What about Iron Man?” 

“Leave Tony out of this.” Feeling a fire light up your spine as fierce protectiveness swelled. 

“I don’t think I will. I’m actually curious. I canvassed the street you got saved from that night. Lot of folks got paid to be quiet, turns out.” This stunned you a little. You hadn’t known about that… then again, your kidnapping had been spun as a mental health respite so… maybe it made sense someone had paid them to be quiet about anything they’d seen that night… “But the ones who felt like talking said they saw you and Iron Man taking off from the scene.” 

“So what?” Not sure what she was getting at. 

She narrowed her eyes. “You just ran? Tony Stark just ran?” 

You couldn’t help the roll of your eyes. “We’ve already established-” How much more time was she going to waste guilting you about this? 

“No. What I’m saying is- you took off. Both of you. When Kilgrave was screaming up a storm. How?” 

Something you’d had one bare brain cell to wonder about that night, but hadn’t thought much about it then. Tony had ignored Kilgrave. You weren’t sure how. It hadn’t mattered then. Because all that had mattered was that he hadn’t been snatched up by him and held under control- all that had mattered was that you had been saved. “How did you get away?” Curious then. 

“I’m not part of this. And I wouldn’t have been. If you’d just been the hero you masquerade around as.” 

Finally hitting your peak, it spilled out. “What do you want from me? You want me to say I fucked up? I did. You think I don’t know that? I tried to protect myself and my family, and by doing that I let other innocent people get hurt. Okay? You think I don’t know that? I do.” 

She just made a face at you. “I’m not here for your catharsis.” 

“What do you want from me?” Almost entirely spent at this point. Guilt was stabbing you like a knife. Slow, steady pulls. In and out. Right in your gut. But it was your heart that ached most. She was right. But at this pot what more could you do? 

She let you stew for a bit, drinking again. Then, finally, “Hope murdered her parents. Because she was ordered to  by Kilgrave. There’s a lawyer- Jeri Hogarth- taking the case as a favor to me, but I’m running out of good will fast. Mind control is a pretty fucking hard thing to prove in court. But if you come forward about what you know, you might actually be able to at least help one person who got fucked up because of you.” She reached into her jacket to get a card- Hogarth’s, you saw, as soon as she threw it your way.

Where painful heat had been lancing through you, a new shiver of ice covered up almost all of it. Fear. You were immediately… scared. Jessica was asking you to go public. Talk about what happened to you. Tell the world what happened- and not only that, that you’d ran from it. Because you were probably the only person in the entire fucking world now that a jury would believe. Otherwise it was some fantastical tale about a woman who murdered her parents because somebody told her to. 

But if you- if an Avenger- testified to the truth about mind control… told the world that you’d been mind controlled by the same person... if you told your story… 

“There isn’t a jail in the world that can hold Kilgrave. This isn’t about catching him. So you still have some work to do. But right now this girl needs you. You already failed her once.” Jess put her hand over the picture and then pushed herself up to stand, taking the bottle with her. Leaving you there. Staring at Hope. But just halfway away from the table she stopped. Her voice was a lot quieter. “You made a choice. Maybe there’s no telling if it was the right or wrong one. We’ll never know. But right now, for Hope, there is only one right choice. Don’t let her down.” 

The door to the bar opened and closed and you knew your window was closing. It was too much to ask that you be allowed to just sit there in silence to collect your thoughts. To get yourself together. Or even think about any of this. Taking Hope’s picture, you folded it back up and stuck it in your pocket. Going over to the bar, you took your wallet out and put four twenties down on the bar. 

The man behind it, no doubt waiting for you to leave, arched a brow. “Want something fancy for the road?” 

Your smile was a twist of agony, you were sure. “Is a bartender allowed to ask me if I want a drink for the road?” 

At this he let go of a small breathy laugh. “Usually I wouldn’t, no. But your driver has been walking up and down my block and staring in my windows since you walked in. So I think you’re safe.” 

Pressing your lips together, you nodded a few times over with a duck of your head. Everyone knew who you were. Everyone knew your circle. Only more fuel to the fire that was the idea of going public. “Yeah, well… it’s for whatever bottle she just stole.” 

He shrugged. “Didn’t cost that much.” 

“For the trouble, then.” Giving him one last smile before you stepped away from the bar. 

He stopped you at the door. “Hey- listen… I really didn’t mean any disrespect.” 

You shook your head. “None taken. It’s okay. I get it. I’m not everyone’s taste.” At this point in your life, was it wrong to say you brought trouble wherever you went? Probably not. His position was easily understandable. 

He regarded you carefully, silent for a moment. “For what it’s worth, I think your people have been doing a good job protecting this city. And a lot of the programs you set up have been helping a lot of people.” 

“Could be doing better.” Unable to help yourself from stewing in your own guilt, still.

“So could everyone. You’re trying. That’s what counts.” He had no incentive to say this. He had no incentive to be nice to you. There was no doubt that he’d heard you and Jessica talking. He could have easily taken her side, drawn conclusions. Yet he hadn’t. And was standing there. Talking to you like a normal person. Being kind. 

Your smile was a little easier then, but it didn’t quell the darkness stirring inside you. “It was good to meet you.” Holding your hand out. “Mr.?” 

“Just call me Luke. And likewise.” His hand was much larger than yours, but his handshake was gentle. “...but if it’s not too much trouble to ask…” Hesitant but in an amused sort of way. 

You really couldn’t help your grin then. “Don’t worry. I won’t be back.” 

“I wasn’t gonna ask you to not come back. Just… not like that next time. If you do.” You know. Rolling up in your expensive car with your driver and a loudmouth angry woman who was walking around with a justifiable vendetta.

Yeah. Made sense. Just as a little laugh left you, the door of the bar opened pointedly. Tony on the other side. The two of you locked eyes before you sent an apologetic but humorous look up Luke’s way. “Not like that either, I take it.” 

“Definitely not.” Turning away then. 

You decided to stop troubling Luke and leave his bar. Tony put an arm around you as soon as you came over to him, walking you out onto the sidewalk. You drew the logical conclusion. “Happy call you?” “Yeah.” 

“Was he panicking?” “When does he not?” 

“Were you panicking?” 

“Only a little. But I’ll deny it, if anyone else asks.” In front of the car he stopped, putting his hands on your shoulders, looking at you. Taking stock of you. “...what about you?” 

You okay? Unspoken. But so clearly heard. 

It took a great deal of strength to not crumble where he was clearly giving you permission to do so, now that he was here. You were always safe with him. But… “Let’s talk about it at home.” 

“Yeah. Got it.” 

Now as to how you’d explain all this…? 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 139

[Wow, tumblr is mega ugly right now. All my xkit extensions are broken. As a reminder this story is up on A03! I’d be happy to give the link to anyone that wants it. Every time I post with a link I get shadow’ed so... it is what it is. Enjoy!]

There was a chance this was a setup. That Kilgrave- with his tight schedule- had finally picked up Jessica and was now luring you in. He’d taken you to dinner, laid it out that you ending with him was an inevitability because you’d do the right thing in service of that greater good, hero that you were- and just give in to him. So it was possible you were going to go down to that office of Jessica’s, see the both of them there and be expected to throw your hands up and walk away with him. 

And that was why- “Let me go with you.” Tony no longer wanted you to be liable for your own fate. He no longer wanted you facing this menace alone. Because it seemed every time you did, whether on the phone or face to face, it left you worse for wear. And just a little closer to breaking in pieces so small they could no longer be put back together. 

If it were you, if he was being put in this position, this would be the same thing you’d ask of him. For him to allow you in. To let you help. It felt unfair that immediately your thought was to tell him no. “I don’t think he’ll be there.” You heard yourself saying this, but you weren’t actually sure how true you thought it was. It was just as likely that he would be, that he also would not be. You had no idea what you were walking into. 

Tony crossed his arms. “That has nothing to do with me wanting to go.” 

“It does a little.” Finally pulling yourself off the couch, entire body aching with the struggle of getting up after being down for so long. 

As you approached he softened. “Fine. A little. But we need to be done waiting.” Whether or not he meant it, this hit you a little hard. It was true. You were hurting the team by letting this go on so long. Whether or not that had been your choice, which it hadn’t. That was probably why he flinched upon realizing and quickly reached out to put his hand on your arm. “I just mean- we need an actual plan. And it’s not that I don’t think you can finish this- I just-” 

“Tony…” Soothing his sudden struggles with saying the right thing, how to say it, what the right thing even was… his brain was pulling in all directions. Because it was you, his entire being was demanding to be gentle here. But because it was you he wanted to storm the beach and just blast away until this was over. And you were standing in the middle. Impeding progress. He was having trouble handling it. You laid your hands on his chest, gazing up at him. “I know this is hard. And I appreciate that you’re trying-” 

“Don’t do that.” Both his hands slid up your arms then, stopping atop your shoulders. Pain sliced between the both of you. “Don’t ask me to sit here and watch you suffer anymore. Let’s be honest, it’s not working out for either of us.”

“It’s not.” You had to let him have that victory where it was so clear. Your falling apart was leading to his own struggles. It would have been the same the other way around. “If it’s just her- and I think it is- she won’t want you there. Which will slow everything down.” Just trying to put it all together out loud. Tony’s presence would upset Jessica because she wanted as little people involved as possible. 

His answer cemented how this was going to go. Fingers gentle as they lifted, sliding up the sides of your neck. Gaze soft on yours. It was completely unfair how easily that skin to skin contact made you just want to breathe in the comfort he provided. “I stayed for you.” 

To not only have your back, but to watch it. He couldn’t help you if you left him out- regardless of your feelings why that might be. Your need to protect him was as strong as his need to protect you. And soon- if not now, very soon- one of you was going to have to budge on it. And it felt like he’d keep asking your permission to do so until it was too late. And then where would that leave the both of you? “You did.” 

On the off chance Kilgrave was there… having Tony follow you was probably a smarter thing to do than to leave him at home. “I can be quiet.” A little wry arch of his brow with a weak grin to accompany it. 

“No you can’t.” Teasing back as much as you had the strength to. “But. If she doesn’t know you’re there…” 

“Mn.” A little nod of understanding. “I can do very quiet rooftop reconn. No problem, honey.” 

“Very quiet being key here.” Jessica couldn’t know he was there just as much as the entire city couldn’t know that Iron Man was perching on an apartment rooftop for seemingly no reason. It was really annoying. That your status was so well known. It made everything so much harder than it had any right to be. 

Before either of you could continue with the faux quipping, your phone buzzed. You took it from your pocket and read the text on the front screen. From Jessica. 

485 W 46th st. Now or never. I don’t have all night. 

Tony made no secret that he was spying. Once you let it down, the two of you shared one last look. And he promised, “Very, very quiet.” 

So that was that. 

                                                       ---

Tony let her go first after she got ready and left with just the barest of disguises on. A hat and sunglasses when it was already dark outside. If she wasn’t the one out for justice, the next person on the street might suspect she was dealing drugs. But it was what it was. She didn’t want photographers following her around to Hell’s Kitchen so that the media could ask what the hell she was doing there in the papers the next morning. 

There were already enough scandals to avoid, they didn’t need one more. And a personal one, at that. At least the address was only twenty or so minutes away. Very convenient. 

He took the suit off the private flight deck, the one specifically off angle from cameras or snoops (not like the public one from which most takeoffs happened for obvious reasons). He’d be easier to spot at night for sure with the flash of his thrusters, but he wasn’t too worried. “Find me a deadzone, JARVIS and let’s establish some boundaries.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

It wasn’t exactly his favorite thing to do, jamming signals and frying any phone that could be relatively pointed at him- but some things just needed to be done. He was sure he wouldn’t lose sleep over it. A target opened up on the rooftop across from Jones’ apartment building and he set down quickly, eased at least a little that there was a single heat signature waiting inside. With that he stepped out of the suit hoping that might be a little bit less obvious. A man on a roof was one thing. Iron Man on a roof was another. 

Jones had her curtains closed anyway. It wasn’t like he needed the suit to see anymore than he already had. Although it did make him a little anxious. He put a hand to his ear. “I’m in position. Only have a single hit in the apartment. No surprises waiting just yet.” 

“Beat me by a hair.” In fact, he saw her walking up the steps and leaning in to scrutinize the very rundown looking panel so she could get buzzed in. 

“And you left before me.” Teasing her, just a little. Just to claw at a sense of normalcy they’d long since lost. 

Her smile did him a world of good. “You jet boosted over here. Don’t get smart.” 

“Impossible to get when I’m already overflowing.” 

“You’re the worst.” 

This felt good. Like they were on a mission together. He had her back. Things would be okay. He didn’t respond when he saw her pull the front door open. She was already trying to blend in with the crowd here and not seem suspicious. While it was less-so to just seemingly talk to nobody these days, she was far more cautious than that. He needed to be, too. For her. 

Still, it didn’t help his quiet anxiety that their comm went dead quiet for a minute. But then he heard Jones ask her for a bug sweep- it cleared- and then just behind him the sound of someone stepping very heavily onto the rooftop. Not from a door opening- no- that was a jump. 

And when he turned around from his crouched position facing the street, he couldn’t help the face he made. “Ah, the devil on my shoulder. I wondered where you’ve been. Angel’s been getting lonely these days.” The last thing he needed tonight was further intervention from would-be superheroes. Yet the so-called Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was now staring him in the face- 

Shit. He really had to stop with the sight jokes. Inner monologue or not. Matt Murdock was blind, so the brief dig reports came back. But clearly he could see. Not understanding how yet… well…

“Is that the best you’ve got, Stark?” 

Tony’s lips thinned, head quirking to the side as he crossed his arms. “You’re right. Big Red was my first play. Should’ve gone with my gut.” 

“What are you doing here?” Tone gruff and entirely unwelcoming. 

Also entirely distracting. He was only focusing on about half of the conversation happening in the apartment. “Stargazing. Is that a crime? Can you go bother somebody else? I’m busy.” 

“Busy stargazing.” 

“Yep. So. If we’re done here…” 

“You’re in my neighborhood. I want to know why.” 

He couldn’t help the roll of his eyes and the wave of his arm. “Am I in a territory war suddenly? I have clearance over you, if that’s what we’re doing. Is that what we’re doing? You wanna see my badge?” Oops. 

Big Red stepped closer, but Tony just stayed still. It was when the man seemed to scrutinize him a little more with a forward lean- no. Not scrutinizing. Listening. He then turned to the apartment across the street, and Tony couldn’t help a spike of unease. “Ah.” And that didn’t make things better. Especially not when her name came out of his mouth next. “Who’s she in there with?” 

“You’re sure you didn’t wanna go with a bat costume? Or is that too played out?” Frustrated to his core. He needed to do an even deeper dive on Matt- ...if he was going to keep being somebody worth caring about, anyway. The preliminary stuff clearly hadn’t been enough. He could hear her on the comms- and knew she was in that apartment building. All without- “Look- you’re bothering me. Go perch on a different roof or- do whatever it is you do at night.” 

“This is what I do.” He stood again, facing Tony. 

The two had a stare down… or- err… “This is not a crime waiting to happen.” 

“Then what are you doing here? Does she know you’re following her around?” 

“You can ask her next time you follow her to a cafe.” Moving now past frustration into anger. 

There was a small blessed slice of silence as Big Red seemed to consider his position, and just as Tony caught a few more words passed inside of that apartment, he spoke again. “We’re not on opposing sides, you know.” 

Damn it all, he couldn’t help the flare of his temper. “Gosh, you know- we already have a righteous stickler in the group. So if this is your application, I’m gonna need you to look directly into the camera and tell Big Brother a different reason why you should be let into the house.” ...that was a triple oops by now. For sure. 

“If this is how you accept help I feel very sorry for her.” 

“You can’t give me something I didn’t ask for. Are you seriously gonna stand here and menace me all night? You don’t have anything better to do?” 

It was a battle of stubbornness at this point. Big Red had no idea who he was dealing with, in that case. They stood facing each other. Clearly figuring he was outmatched (so Tony believed anyway), Big Red finally turned away. “Have it your way, Stark.” 

“That’s definitely how I prefer things.” Dry as the desert, unable to help one last biting remark. He just had to get the last word in. Because this had been a huge waste of his time and he’d missed out on almost everything. He waited, watching the Devil jump over onto a different rooftop, and then another, and then take the side of the building down into an alleyway, disappearing. 

“Tony-” She was calling him. 

Quickly he turned back to look at the apartment building, only to see her standing on the sidewalk. “Yeah, honey, I’m here.” 

“Is everything okay?” She was peering up. Probably only just barely able to see him. 

“I got held up by takes himself too seriously man. I’m sorry. Is everything okay? What happened?” 

“Who?” Her head tipped far to the right in question. 

There was a warm flourish in his chest. They were in too much trouble for her to be that cute. “It’s not important. Can you debrief me on your walk back?” 

“Can we get dinner?” 

He was surprised to hear her ask this. But, obviously, “Yeah, sure. Let me get ground level and send the suit back.” 

While he was in the middle of doing so, she seemed unable to let the thought go. “Seriously- who were you talking about?” 

“Our favorite man in black- or I guess in red now. Someone should tell these kids there’s other boroughs. They’re a little clustered together.” 

She made a sound of realization and then, “I don’t think they know about each other.” 

“They probably will now.” ...quadruple oops?

                                                      ---

“You’re the worst.” Having Tony literally watching your back and right there in your ear really alleviated a lot of fears you had going into this meeting. Although you were genuinely running on empty in every which way, so that also helped. In a less good way. A lack of anything really settled the nerves when you were too tired to be afraid. Aside that, Tony had practically said it was just Jessica inside… 

The building was pretty rundown. Lots of the other apartments were making noise. Yelling. Moaning. TVs and stereos playing loudly. All things you tried to ignore as you took the shaky elevator up towards Jessica’s floor and then walked all the way to the back of the hallway. Alias Investigations spied on you the whole walk down and once there you knocked on the privacy glass to signal your presence. 

Tony had gone completely silent, but that was probably for the best. Just listening, for now. At this point you were mostly sure you wouldn’t need him for anything serious. Which was a good headspace to be in as Jessica opened the door half a crack, took one look at you and then undid the privacy chain. But before she allowed you in, she blocked you from entering, leaning in very close. “Can you check my place out?” Voice very quiet. 

So you whispered back. “For what?” 

“Anything listening.” 

“Oh.” Giving her a small nod. You then reached up to your earring cuff, pressing to activate your visor- something that seemed to marginally impress Jessica. For once. “LUNA run a level ten bug sweep.” Probably no need to be that serious about it but… well, you were already here. 

“Yes, ma’am.” You gestured for Jessica to move so you could get inside and look around. Her office was also her home. Something you could sort of relate to but… not quite the same. Your lifestyles were very different. No need to make a comment about it. All corners and access points and good hiding spots came up empty. Something LUNA agreed with, “All clear, ma’am.” 

Retracting the visor with one more press you looked back at her as she still stood in the doorway. “Your place is clean.” Now out of the focus of checking her place out, something became abundantly clear. Something you couldn’t help but remark on, as you pressed a hand against your mouth and nose- “It smells like bleach in here.” Thick and suffocating. All her windows were open but it wasn’t really helping. She walked ahead of you to sit behind her desk. 

“Yeah. Well. Kilgrave came and murdered my idiot neighbor in here.” Saying it as if she had already accepted it and moved on. Because what else could she do? “Apologies if things aren’t up to your standard of living.” 

Her cutting remark bounced off you while you were otherwise too busy being shocked. “He-” 

“Look, I don’t really wanna talk about it. I cleaned it up. It’s dealt with. That’s not what I called you here for.” She opened one of her desk drawers, pulling out a brand new bottle of liquor, cracking the top off and taking a large swig. 

Kilgrave was making big moves. That was what he must have meant by tight schedule. Had he planned to murder Jessica’s neighbor? What for? “Did he come to you?” Some of this had to start making sense. And this was the first time you’d been face to face with Jessica in a long while. It had to start making sense right now. Every second the both of you wasted, the further ahead Kilgrave got. “He got rid of a camera crew in public and then forced me to dinner the other night.” 

She scoffed. “Dinner. Must be nice.” 

The two of you really didn’t have time to be arguing with each other. And… all things considered, she had a right to feel that way, you supposed. He’d made you go to dinner. He’d killed a person in her place and probably left it for her to clean up. Yeah. There was a huge disparity here. ...but why? “He told me Hope is in the hospital.” 

But at this she glowered, looking away. “Did he, now?” 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” Unable to help getting a little upset. 

“What difference would it make? What business is it of yours? As I recall- any involvement of yours in that case is pointless. So why would I waste my time giving you an update about it?” 

It was unfair. It was completely unfair that you had to hold yourself still. That you had to be the bigger person here. Still, you couldn’t stow the shake of your head or the cross of your arms. “He tried to tell me that I don’t know anything about you.” 

“At least he got something right.” Another scoff, another long sip of alcohol. She set the bottle down and shared a long hard look with you. Maybe it occurred to her that this little hardened act of hers wasn’t going to get either of you anywhere, so she dropped her eyes and finally quietly relented. “Hope was pregnant.” This put a still shock in you. “She paid someone to beat her up. So that she could lose the kid.” Her head tipped up sharply, “There. Does that help you to know that? Do you feel better now?” 

What were you supposed to say to any of that? Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn’t important for you to know that. Maybe it was none of your business. And yet… “We can help her.” You were so sure of this. “We can-”

“It’d be swell for you to just swoop in and fix everything. To spend your billions to move her around until nobody knows or cares where she is anymore. I’m sure that’d make you feel good. But Hope deserves better. She deserves for the world to know she’s not a murderer. She deserves to have her life back.” 

“And where are we on that?” Staring her down. “Making lots of progress? Or are you too busy now fending off Kilgrave while she’s sitting in a hospital bed worrying about being pregnant-” 

She got up so suddenly her chair fell back. “I didn’t ask you to come here so you could pretend you care about any of this shit.” Making a slow advance towards you, hand up with a finger pointed accusingly your way. 

You stood still. Unmoving. Not backing down. “Why am I here, Jessica? I know what you want from me about as much as I know what Kilgrave wants. Are we working together? Or are we just yelling at each other while he leaps five steps ahead because we can’t get our shit together?” Glaring at her now as she came to a stop just a foot in front of you, unable to help your anger. “This is out of fucking control. So stop with the bullshit and actually fucking talk to me. Work with me. Or we’ll both lose. And you know it.” 

The two of you stood in the low light of her apartment, glaring at one another. For probably too long a time. It was ridiculous, really, but she had to be the first one to budge. You couldn’t make any more grand statements about how this was all garbage and a waste of time. She had to actually do something to let you in. 

Then. Finally. Your patience was rewarded. She backed down and stepped away. Still haughty, just a little, with a shake of her head. ���Fine. It’s all bullshit. I agree.” Mumbling this to herself more than anything. You had to wonder if she was more than a little drunk at this point. Going over to her desk she pulled a different drawer open and then almost slammed down a small notebook. -a diary. “Kilgrave go through your childhood shit, too?” 

You couldn’t help the tip of your head or the confused face you made. “No-” Though something about that clicked. “I think he was trying to find stuff on me. But he couldn’t.” 

She scoffed again. “Must be nice having everything covered up for you by government agencies.” 

“They had nothing to do with that, actually.” A gentle thrum of discomfort and nervousness gurgled first in your stomach and then clutched at your heart as she looked up at you. “-it’s also not important.” Not right now, anyway. And not to Jessica Jones. “What’s he going through your stuff for?” 

She sat on the corner of her desk. “He’s lounging around in the house I grew up in. I’m pretty sure he expects me to go there and hand myself over to him.” 

“He said something similar to me at dinner.” Kilgrave just wanted the both of you to walk up to him and say okay it’s over, you win. But why? Why do it that way? “-he didn’t tell me to do anything the entire time.” 

“But you still went-”

“I didn’t have a choice. Commanded or not. Let’s not take a step back.” You got it. She was angry. All the time. And maybe she had a right to be. But if you let her continue to fall into that hole over and over and over again, nobody would win. She really needed to go to therapy. ...not that you were one to talk. “He threatened me, saying me going to him would spare a lot of other people.” 

“Yeah.” Her head turned down as she crossed her arms. “That’s the feeling I get, too.” 

The silence was a little bit uncomfortable. “...so what are you going to do?” 

“I’m gonna go. What choice do I have?” She looked up at you again and for a moment… you almost thought you saw a bit of pleading in that glassy-eyed stare of hers. Almost. Like she wanted you to come up with a better solution. When you disappointed her with no response she rolled her eyes. “Exactly.” 

She was where you were. She was giving in where it seemed impossible to do anything else. Making the smartest move. Kilgrave would win. “So you go. And lure him into a false sense of security. He’s chasing after something. He wants you to… be with him, I guess.”

“Oh you have no idea.” Hard as she spat this out. 

“Maybe I don’t. But. Go be with him. And then when he thinks it really is over we’ll take him out. He thinks we’re not working together- he definitely doesn’t want us to be. He might not expect it.” He probably understood how dangerous a combo that could be, if the two of you could get over yourselves. But he’d been very plainly trying to pit you against her. This could work. Maybe.

“Go be with him. Like it’s that fucking easy.” Spitting this at you with all the venom she had left in her. “That’s the best idea you have?” Making a face at you. Plainly calling you stupid. 

“You wanted to take him somewhere. We can still do that. We just need to line the pieces up right.” Maybe it was a stupid idea. But it was really all the two of you had. 

She scrutinized you. “Yeah- and what if he gets cornered and orders some innocent to kill themselves for cover- or me- or-” 

“So I’ll stop it.” Firm, your eyes watching hers. “I won’t let him hurt anyone else that way.” 

“You’re sure you can do that? Because if you can’t-” 

“I’m sure.” You had to be. Kilgrave had made it painfully obvious he thought he could always have someone else in the way so that you would have your hands tied. So maybe he didn’t know what you could do. And that was the only thing you had working for you. 

There was a slap of resentment as she found herself resigned to this nothing of a plan. “If you fuck this one up… everyone pays the price. Do you understand that?” 

You squared up to her. “More than you could ever imagine.”