#IN MY HEART NOW AND FORGEVER

[wh-da-backup]

lyrics dump- grade 10 so far

Published: Apr 9, 2011

note: these are bits of lines and lyrics i jotted down from whenever my last lyric dump was until about late january (when i started a new songbook) they are in no particular order, chronological or otherwise.

------

the only thing surrounding me drink the water, it's a part of me immersed with my insanity my insulation from reality -----

we can still be salvaged from this life ----

you drink about music, you brew about leaves you jolt-jump-spark at your own ideas we're easy to talk to, and easy to please come live in my novel, i'm easy to read ----

you bound my arms in puppet strings and dressed me up and made me king and now i bleed imagining i could cut through the puppet strings ----

you'd be even more beautiful without that gun in your hand

you're my favorite waste of time ----

call me names and call me spit bury me in my dug pit oh pity me... pity me...

give me ears to lick and make me beautiful with dumb pinpricks oh pretty me... pretty me...

(and making me tear up my lips oh) ----

I write what I can't say and call it fiction I remember when I used to read sick to my empty/bleeding stomach cesspool genes caffiene dreams ----

the hourglass is filled with quicksand -----

it's cute that you think you'd be so easily replaced; quit calling me pretty, I'm more than a face ----

precious eyes in a beautiful face

stringent dark eyes in a fingernail face ----

I am not down to earth and/or water off in my head somewhere never get things done lazy own daughter

nuclear reactor guild sun fusion sun I'm (a) jaded Ray I'm (a) faded Ray ----

who is standing in the door... way... my heart is a table (my heart is a table) leg and you write on the table (write on the table) write me a new escape ----

eat your solids drink your liquids breathe your gases nothing matters ----

i got your postcard yesteryear the photo said wish you were here but sadly i am out of reach we'll meet again on pensive beach ----

so bombastic oh degrade me

why so shy in silent shell?

leave avec un violon ----

teacups are fragile this one's been pushed over the table's edge

you can hold the pieces together but they'll just fall apart when you remove your hands

and you did but you did the best you can -----

I'll shine in your smile like a firefly's ass

we'll breed the cutest maggots your mother ever saw ---

you feed my ego when i'm broken you're glue ---

I've been known for shooting mirrors no one wants to hold my fingers life is a price

you listen in and think i'm clever stitch the glass and see forever life is nice ----

I can't sleep in this ----

friend, i love you no more scars ----

leave me be I'm no forgever I will have these scars forever ---

this is not a riot, this is the norm. -----

he can read his own mind as you can't do we understand each others' too he wakes at night in violent screams at least he knows what it means to dream ----

all is fair now we're just friends

now we can't move cause we're still friends ----

brainblanks

been thinking about bullets hoping one will lodge

now my mind is blanking no wonder i haven't been shot ----

souls with whom i've shared a room in a house in some past life

it's always better late than never we all love each other now i'm figured out ----

afraid your arms aren't strong enough to crush the world before it crushes her she likes to dream in your ear unconditional listener she likes to hide from everything she wants to tell you all the sad things, things she almost

(things she always) ----

memory barricades everyone sees them your life is tacked up and you dream with your past around ----

to stroke the dreams of anyone dying and be happy for any two people in love ----

butterflies don't cause hurricanes it's the vibrations from knocking on unanswered doors

puzzles click and people feel don't thnk i've ever met such real- life eyes

the hourglass is filled with quicksand and my mouth with sandy lies -----

I like the time you said to me well don't you want it all? and what if overall it's not your fault ------

mentalliterate

out of my mind and out of your mind too we talk all night and lips are last to rest we're like the rats i guess little feet and little hearts the music starts there's nothing talk can do -----

so hot and scary let's compare ea- -ch other's lies

be my fracture let's commit a crime -----

we were down not so long ago broken minds and starving egos

people in a world of creatures, humans, talk, and TV zombies

faster than a speeding taxi best and worst and most indifferent

I know you make all the difference

you and I can say anything true and breathing's all we have to do we can stay and dream for hours nothing has to move -----

you put her in the world, tell her it's wrong to see her breath, she'll stop breathing

you build a perfect world take her and put her in that dress mirror bleeding

(tell her she's no good if she can't fit into that dress mirror-reading)

thin as the paper they're printed on ashamed of their own flesh beauty is fleeting

flesh it what it is, plastic flaws and now you must confess-

she's not breathing -----

he's so shallow she's so callow yet their love is hallowed fools will follow -----

this boy will someday be a man this man was once a child ----

we put us down and say we're ugly we are in denial we are beautiful

and all the empty pages we'll write and turn the stages and they will fill with roses human, we are beautiful -----

I see the shadow we cast on a smile in the sky

I hear you drum again and there are major repercussions

you call yourself my ventillation (rusty ankles pay attention) i don't want to need you to breathe

I'll sing you an alibi

fall asleep and you'll forget me never did remember all your dreams

is there something you're not telling me?

those 13 days are my favorite lucid dream -----

you have CDs now I kept the cassettes mix tapes we made recording the radio remember when we recorded the radio? we always laughed at high school sweethearts secretly wishing we knew each other that young

new year denied me millenium kiss -----

light from all around my friends are ghosts who saved my soul and carry on to heaven whole -----

you'll improvise me a serenade ------

and in the days of gold they smiled and weaved their voices to caress the child

sing until the baby breaks

simple as syrup she's as good as drowned

it leaves a candy wake

drink water

gravity corrects ----

I think we're floating out to see we'll build a flag to save our sanity our love is paranoid and in a drowned world there are some things that only swimmers know the sea recedes and she will not grow old -----

should it be something i admire should it be something i resent it seems i'm only smiling when i'm smiling on your latest compliment

when i dress like a bruise ----

on a bridge where rivers meet so cold but not quite freezing the swimmers you and i won't join it seems to me this is a dream

and in the end it's all beneath i'd kiss your teeth and drag my feet and in the end is this the end everything's fair now we're just friends ----

no one's gonna take your records you can paint the walls any colour you like

know i'm never gonna leave you you can stay with me -----

voulez-vous, voulez-vous, you ask the questions but don't follow through

too few freckles under the wrong eye ----

your nickname reminds me of razors i'm sorry i've got a dark mind ----

she is the prettiest poison in apology glass bottles they'll break on your face as soon as you kiss one ----

and wait for the Aurora, borre Alice and as Aurora bore Alice she has been erased -----

we brought her home today she's got a deep voice and when she cries the floor shakes ----

you're so commercial there's industry in misery

you're clueless like me -----

my heart's feet under my mind is caught in my throat tread all the water I got I wish I could float

my heart's feet under my mind is caught in my throat tread all the water I got til the water... chokes

I don't expect a stranger to row up in a life boat don't expect a savior to show up with a raincoat do you expect the answer to show up at your door I don't ----

I've got you in a jar you should not have told me that I seem to like to tap on glass how long before you get tired of this? you'll only get all cut up again breaking out twist around the other way you'll tangle up your puppet strings cutting through the puppet strings -----

the transient

it was all a stupid dream I woke up with your jewelry on my throat -----

tugging on my strands of hair and thanks to you I'm stranded here ----

to see you as i do i wish that you could you're a little to rough on yourself, I believe if it isn't enough if your writing is "good" you can grow as an artist but fire won't breathe

it's life or death for your ideas a title that transcends the years you'll always mean a lot to me regardless of whether you're man of the century -----

he's got music in his head

I want you to be happy even if it means i'm left behind -----

the whole time I was thinking how she's so much more perfect than me with each other you can be yourselves I'm a skeptic- I warp reality

I hate my smile the two of yours spell perfect chemistry you figured out soon enough I'm not the replacement your heart thought I would be

no date no hurt I hope I'm not jealous, if I am it's only of your happiness no lies no secrets everyday in silence, my thoughts growing heavy in my pockets ------

don't mind me I'm only special ---

you cry yourself an ocean hoping it'll drown you I'm sick of playing coast guard to your soul -----

screw the rules, say whatever you want within the walls of the school ----

I saw the light I saw the light I saw the light it passed right through you are you wearing thin my friend?

I saw the guns they were shining in the sun you were born with an army in your hand have you sent them marching in my friend? off to distant lands... ----

my beauty only lies within the clouded eyes on my beholder beholder is no longer blinded I'm a dream you won't remember -----

not gonna kill myself over a bad day, used to be yours but it's your loss anyway -----

stitch-hearted smiles ------

ask me what I'm writing it's ruined and YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT THERE I get a new enemy every year and I make him promise not to care (well it never works) ----

planets in the sewers full of shaved-off hair that's gotta go somewhere -----

love seems to scare you- let's talk about death

like a river, will you take me? ----

I feel better for having spoken ----

you can suck my APATHY

do they speak in signals do the signals carry speech?

we're not broken up just changed

all I do is drink your voice

If I loved somebody I'd be important

my lungs aren't lungs they're a summed-up mess ------

(these are old cause i saved them for some reason)

what are these crystal spheres they fall like rain yeah fall like rain what is this sticky river raindrops fall and sting the spring

red the fissures cut like scizzors red the oil, yeah red black gold my soul the fissures cut like scizzors red the oil, uh red black gold my soul

tangle me in metal strings and string me up like in my dreams

I feel left out of my own conversations silence is an innovation rowing nowhere on a rubber stream

shot my twin brother, thought he was me

saw pavlov's dog chasing schrodinger's cat

I write all these songs 'bout a soul in denial neglected to mention that person was me

there will be other mud-spattered clothing

tournez la page en vie and rivers run avant de vous fermez un oeil

the road will be long the path will be varied some climb to the top and then others are carried

I'd tell my friends but then they would care cause of drama, sew-sight scare

we all need change to complain about

you'll take away my children to own and abuse them and make them your bitch you could turn me into a whore for my fame it aint gonna happen i already know your name

tenderly kiss the gangrene don't be ashamed of your sores rotting is only human

I can't stand this body knowing these are the arms you died in

it's a supernova

I relate to people fine if they're like me

fame is vivisection

the dogs start whining, I already fed you today (lay down) ------

you wear yourself well ----

I'm such a waste I take up space but if the space is in your heart then it's ok ----

he can't sing like an angel or scream like a rock star -----

the earth is pressed against my body she said, "I am electrifying, better out me in charge." ----

I'm ok with anything you want because I know you wouldn't want too much through voices taunting and picture eyes that haunt this is trust ----

your face is flushed, I'm turning read where love is dead the notes have bred you're right about the things you said you're hollow wings, a clouded head -----

she's sitting there painting her suicide portrait notes are for writers she thought to herself

she's been walking on flashlights ever since the coals ran out and she thought all the guitars were teeth to whom will she them all bequeath? ----

my heart is a brick ----

it's got an average mean meaning nothing means nothing means nobody means ----

forget the pages, take my dreams ---

I think that these novels have gone to your head let us be what we are, and not what you've read ------

used to think I was the best, I wasn't good enough I guess ----

loved ones strewn about the floor whoever are you waiting for? ----

speak in reply to conform to convention, speak out of turn and you'll catch my attention ----

I've been an enigma lately because you can't read your own handwriting ------

(this one is also from 9th grade)

you broke into my home passed out on the bed left dream marks on the pillow next to your intoxicated head oh no... won't you see this through?

you opened up your eyes scremaing locked and red slurred the words and asked me not to hear the stupid things you said oh no... won't you see this through? don't go... the sky of blackened blue ------

for a second there i believed in myself turns out you thought i was someone else -----

never gonna grow up always gonna lie never gonna be too pretty might as well die ------

you were only a dream but you were my favorite dream

fire's out

you realized I'm no replacement ------

like this guitar my walls have scars we've all got scars because of me -----

say things to me you needed someone to say to I just want someone I can say

one for change and one to keep it

been thinking about you got nothing better to do

you don't deserve these pictures I wish I could pray your nightmares gone

--------

Unfinished Songs in my Songbook

jeans getting too tight on my legs feet getting too big for my shoes anger's getting too much for my skin to hold one of these days, gonna break lose

body's getting too frail for the grip (my addictions) ego's swelling to great for my skull (go on feed it) hair in my face too long to see anything one of these days, losing control --------

I'm sad, it's hereditary guess I got blue genes oh ha ha very funny it's got an average mean meaning nothing means nothings means

you're bad, this is necessary pass on your cesspool genes we'll smile on our offspring teach them the average mean meaning nobody means nobody means nothing means nothing means

I'm done with thinkin about old wars we'll breed the cutest maggots your mother ever saw

[asbestieos]

BAD DOODLE BUTIHHUZNDJU U HU JCOCIUHJ JJ JJJ. z.!,’c c c n nnkfjcn n n hn AAUUU MOTIHHH UH H HUIOI LL O N MK O ICUDOK J K KJJNN J NM H H HUUU UOUHH AHAUU UUUU THANJN YOU MOOTJHnnbnsnn!!!!!:!

[andieperrie18]

The One That Got Away ( Peter Parker X Reader )

First, before you guys read this piece. Please do not kill me. I was so in the mood to write when I listened to Katy Perry. Forgeve meh my fellow Hollanders. I'll make it up to you guys. For now this all I can offer.

Peter. My best friend and my first love.

We knew each other since grade school. We always had each others back. He was a such a sweet boy. He didn't made it hard for me to fall inlove.

" Your staring at her again. " Ned said as I looked at Peter's direction. He was staring at her again. Ever since he saw her, she was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

" How can I not? She's so perfect. She's beautiful and smart. " Peter mumble as his eyes twinkled. The twinge of pain hit my chest like a bullet. I hate it when this happens. I hate how he could be so blind. But I can't seem to hate him.

" Why can't you just ignore him Y/n? " Michelle said as we sat inside the library. She's been my bestfriend eversince I entered Midtown School of Science and Technology. I started telling her my feelings for Peter for awhile now. She is constantly telling me to just ditch Peter so my feelings can disappear. It wasn't gonna be that easy.

I had been with Peter for a long time, I knew everything about Peter. I know what he eats, what he likes and what he tends to do as a habit.

I even know that his Spiderman.

" Mich, I can't just do that. " I said as I skim through my chemistry book and began highlighting some notes. I heard her sigh in frustration in front of me. " Why are you so nice?!" she grumbled as I just laughed and held her hand as the anger in her face disappeared and tightened her hold on my hand.

" Ok I'll let this slide one more time. But please, can you be selfish for once. Think about yourself. I just don't want to see you hurt. If you really like him just blurt it out already. " she said as she gave me a concerned look. She is right. Maybe I can change Peter's feeling. What he is feeling for Liz is just a crush. I can still change it.

" Ok, I'll tell him. " you said as you pulled away from Michelle's grasp and took your phone out.

To: PeterParkingLot 😂😁

Hey, are you free? Let's go eat out tonight. I got something to tell you. I'll wait for you at the park. See you at 5.

You pressed send as you looked at Michelle with determination.

Class ended and you immidiately dressed up as pretty as possible. Just a typical sleeveless shirt and buttoned down jeans. You look at your self in the mirror as you took a breath.

" You look beautiful sweet heart. " you heard someone said. You turned to see your grandmother. She was the only parent that you have in Queens. Your parents work abroad to provide money for you.

You smiled at her as she walked towards you and handed you a familiar cream colored envelope. Then it came to you. It was the love letter you made for Peter last school year that you failed to give. Your grandmother looked at you and held your hands and said.

" You can do it. This is it. "

You nodded and smiled at her. She was right. He needs to know. It was now or never.

You made your way to the park. You got there earlier than expected which was strange. When you and Peter would eat out, even if you were the one that asked out he would always be the first to arrive at the meeting spot.

" maybe he just want to finish the death star lego construction with Ned it was almost done anyway. " you said positively. You looked at your watch.

4:55 pm.

Five minutes more. He was just late.

An hour had past. It seemed like an eternity. The sky has started to darken. You looked at your watch.

6:56 pm.

His not coming.

" He'll come. His just patrolling Queens right now. " you said. With that you continued to wait.

At 7:30 you decided to make your way to his apartment. Maybe he was just busy doing homework and missed your text.

You looked up at the dark sky. And then you saw a figure swing buy. Two figures.

You followed it. As you got near it revealed more clearly who the two was.

It was Spider man and in his arms was . . . . . Liz.

You saw then drop by an Alley. You made it to the Alley and peaked.

Peter hung upside down as Liz stood infront of him. They were talking and laughing. Needles pierced its way to your heart. Thousand of needles stab its way to your chest. What happened next killed you.

Liz began to lower his mask on the half of Peter's pace. Then she placed a warm kiss on his lips.

Like a sword, it stabbed you from behind and had you in a insane pain. Your eyes watered as your hands covered your mouth. A kiss was enough.

A kiss was enough to tell the Person the word " I Love You. "

A kiss was enough, to say that he loved her.

A kiss was enough, to tell you that you were to late.

You ran away as far as you could. Away from the scene. Away from the pain. Away from him. Away from Peter.

The starry night sky disappeared as it darkened and thundered.

" Pitter, Patter. "

The rain sounded as it fell.

You stood in the middle of a dark side walk. Under the rain. Numb and broken.

Your phone vibrated from your pocket you pulled it out as water hit its screen and on it showed a picture of Peter. You swiped the red icon indicating that you declined the call. Your phone's lockscreen revealed your phone history.

150 messages and 50 calls from Ned, Michelle, and Peter.

You stared at the screen as you pressed the off button, shutting the phone down. You looked at your watch.

12:01 am.

It was past midnight. Yet you didn't care.

The road was barely empty. You did something crazy without even nothing.

You walked towards the middle of the road.

You looked at the sky.

You smiled.

The sky cried with you.

You cried with your head up to the sky making your tears fall like waterfalls. You gripped the letter at your right hand.

You were too numb.

Too broken.

Too sad.

Too pained

To notice what was happening around you.

To notice the pair of headlights on your way.

The lights glowed brighter as it drew near. The rain' made it impossible for the driver to see you. Then. . . . .

Peter held his phone as he stood in front of a corpse covered in a white blanket. His gaze landed on Michelle and your grandmother crying.

Michelle cried as she placed an arm on your grandmothers back and one on the clothed corpse. Your grandmother shouting pleads and begs for the clothed to wake up. Peter's eyes landed on Ned on the other side. Crying. And before him was your father and mother hugging the corpse.

Your mother slowly removed the cloth from the corpse face.

It revealed a cold, lifeless Y/n.

Peter's eyes watered as he gripped his phone and on the screen was your text message.

From: Y/nDaBestie😂😆

Hey, are you free? Let's go eat out tonight. I got something to tell you. I'll wait for you at the park. See you at 5.

Sent by Y/nDaBestie Yesterday.

He was so busy with Liz that he forgot you. He cried as he dropped on the floor as he stared at your dead body.

The days of past as your funeral began. Peter stood infront your coffin for the whole day. His Aunt May would beg him to rest and will comeback tomorrow. He did get rest but at the following day he will do the same routine. Stand infront.

He ignored Liz. He didn't feel anything when she said her condolences. The last day of the funeral came and your burial came. Your grandmother watched Peter stand infront of your tombstone. Unmoving.

She stared at the familiar envelope in hand. She sighed and walked beside Peter who noticed her but didn't turn.

" Here lies Y/n L/n

a Loving daughter and a supportive friend. ( (birth year) - 2017 ) "

Peter stared at the words on the rock.

" Here dear. " he saw your grandma hand him a crippled unopened envelope. She gave him a sad smiled. " She wanted you to have it. " she said as she patted his back and walked away.

Peter watched her leave and spun his attention back at the letter. It was adressed to him from You.

He tore it open and pulled out a crumpled letter. He then began to read its content.

Hey Peter!

I don't know to say this in personal and I would probably faint if I did so I put it in a letter. So it goes like this, You and I have been friends for a very long time. We've had each other's back for a quite a long time now.

You are the best thing that happened to me Peter. You didn't make it hard for me to fall in love with you. Heres the dealio.

I Love You Peter.

I Love you so much. Not because your smart, not because spider man.

But because its you. I love everything about you. Every part and every flaw that you have. I've always loved you. I've always had.

Love

Y/n.

With that, he pressed the letter on his chest hugging it close as he knelt before your stone and his tears dripping down his eyes.

[cherryblossomsfall420]

I can’t do this anymore, my love. You pull me through the dance of life by my heartstrings yet do not turn and face me.

How much more do I have to shower you with praise?

How much more do I have to beg for you to cast me one longing look?

How much more do I have to love you for you to love me back?

I can’t anymore, I can’t.

I thought you were my forgever and always, I thought you would be by my side till the very end.

I see it now though, I see it clear as day. You never loved me or my heart and I doubt you ever will.

This is goodbye my love, I hope you will look back on this time with graceful nostalgia and not feel the burning hurt I shall most likely feel.

Goodbye.