#IM OUTTA CONTROL
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Lmao somebody stop me from putting in my order for Avs merch 😂
#personal#im outta control#jk just another jersey and a car decal are in my cart#i should probably wait till i get paid but i want to press buy now so badly
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Me and this boop thing, unstoppable
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Father John Price has been acting strange lately.
It started as little things most wouldn't notice—an odd slur to his words, far rougher than what you were used to hearing. A sway to his gait when he walked as if he was unfamiliar with the layout to the monastery. Gaps in his memory when pried for pieces of information that he should have known better than anyone else within the walls of the old building. Little slips. Missteps.
Nothing to worry about.
Not at first, anyway.
Not until it bleeds out, grows. Turns into touches. A searing, angry gaze drilling into your head whenever you look away from him. Ire lashing over each word he growls out in the alcoves he corners you inside, the guise of polite conversation falling to pieces when he slips his foot between yours, prying your thighs apart to stand between them. Towering over you as he rasps out commands for you to tell him about how you spent the evening prior on your knees—
Praying, you whisper feverishly, feeling the deep indents of the rosary beads imbedded into your fingers.
But that never seems to matter much to him. Not when the prayer is always an afterthought, and he makes noises like a wounded animal when you breathe out how long you stayed like that, and how—unable to resist temptation after gripping the rosary for long—you had to slide your cold fingers under your robes, numb, shaking hands seeking the blistering heat between your thighs.
("not close enough to tempt the devil," you mutter, shamefaced, heart lurching when the noise he makes in the back of the throat sounds like a misfiring gun. "But—" he drops his head to the wall, heaving. Eyes burning into your temple as you stare at the crooked tilt of his collar, unable to meet his gaze. Scared of what you might find. "But close enough that I had to—to pray again—")
And as the distant, unflappable mask of a seemingly incorruptible man begins to crack, breaking apart to unveil a yawning chasm, you find yourself trapped in confessional box with him after dark, quickly realising that the man you devoted your life to has fallen into that crater.
And something else has taken his place.
#i have a vvitch inspired john price fic im working on but i couldn't get this outta my head so#john price x reader#after he fucks you in the box#id love for him to go back to normal#making you wonder if he was ever truly possessed to begin with or if what you saw was just Father John Price's control finally snapping
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thinking about scott and his asthma and being a kid and finding out your body is different and your life will always be different than your friends’ and then you get attacked in the woods and your asthma is gone because your body is different and your life will always be different than your friends’ and—
#cat.txt#scott haters i will never understand you!!!!#people are so quick to latch onto the bite as a cure and ignore that it’s its own disease and that is IN TEXT THE POINT!!!!!!#IT IS A THEME!!!!#‘actually erica was right about the bite’ babe the whole point in text is that she is not <3 and it’s not her fault!!!!#i just can’t imagine seeing scott sobbing in the shower as his body is out of his control and he can’t do anything about it#and being like CRY BABY!!! PUSSY!! OUTTA MY WAY GAY BOY IM BOUTTA GET IT!!!!#u guys r sick
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i'll just say this.
if an oasis reunion is genuinely happening, and we'll know soon enough, it will sincerely be the most i have ever believed in a universal grand design (a masterplan, you might say). because what are the fucking chances?
this band was broken up and entirely estranged for fifteen years. I could have taken an interest in them ANY time during that period, but as an american, they were entirely off my radar. and now, in the year of our lord 2024, it JUST SO HAPPENS that my friends and I become completely and entirely obsessed with this band, who we KNOW to be long finished, and for no timely reason at all. it was random, accidental and by chance that we ended up in this fixation. there was no impetus for it to happen right now.
and yet, the exact same year, at the absolute height of our obsession, having had time to absorb 30 years of context - THAT'S when they announce they're getting back together?
what! are! the! chances!!!
I never feel like the main character but right now... well. feeling pretty fucking blessed and highly favored lmao
not that it's happening. 👀👀👀
#oasis#the oasis catastrophe#believe me im the most cynical one in the group chat#i have thus far not given an inch to reunion rumors#but its starting to get... outta control. even i have to bend#but my point is - THE SAME YEAR??? OF ALL THE YEARS
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all thoughts, head full
(psst you should check out this de!aged Donnie au by @snailsnaps 👉👈)
#*scuttling through the dash* no one can stop me im outta control#it's hard being a teen genius with a child's physical limitations#sleep? more like the vibe check from god for your hubris#fucking around and finding out#he eepy#good luck little man- i mean big man 😃#it's a good thing he's a fictional construct or he'd kick my ass for these tags 😌✌️#im not sorry#alphastage rise#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#explodingstar art#my art#rottmnt fic rec#de aged donnie#turtle tots#kinda#rise donnie#rottmnt donatello#tmnt#donatello#rise of the tmnt#work doodles on my phone
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was tryna experiment with funni lighting but it failed miserably so i fucked around with capcut and at least got some kinda good footage so yaayyy
#god why are cameras so hard to control man wtf im gonna uh explode or soemthing get me outta here 333:#death note#cosplay#beyond birthday#l lawliet#nezz cosplayz#nezz editz
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So... i may have been attached to a certain character in genshin...
I love Itto so much fhjcjcjcfjc
and the ship with him and Gorou-
#genshin impact#genshin fanart#genshin impact fanart#genshin impact arataki itto#arataki itto#genshin impact gorou#gorou#ittorou#itto x gorou#stuffy doodles#im outta control bro-#fuckin fuck /pos
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slowly getting settled into a routine so ill be off and on here over the next little while but i miss u all i miss glumblr 🤕🤕
#personal#im going through my notifs finally#if u see me reblog/reply to something from over a week ago 💗💗 its okay#just <3 let me have that LOL#also#if anyone mesages me/send asks and i dont respond for weeks im not ignoring you i just dont have the capacity for many things rn#but its getting better and im starting to feel more like myself#trying to not let myself get stressed over things outta my control
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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lol. i think ive reached my limit.
#i just cannot take this torture anymore#ive been at the mercy of this horrible disease for over half my life now#imagine living knowing that roughly every 3.5 weeks youre going to experience the most excruciating pain of your life#along with crushing. usually suicidal depression. and such extreme fatigue and exhaustion that you easily sleep for 14+ hours a DAY#AND ITS ALL FOR FUCKING *NOTHING*#there is literally ZERO benefit or reason for me to be experiencing this#it is 100% extraneous#and even if you go to a dr and try to get treatment their only recommendation is 1) pain killers and/or 2) birth control#which both come with their own fucking share of unpleasant side effects#not to mention theyre not even 100% effective at stopping the problem in the first FUCKING place#and imagine even tho you have this DEBILITATING DISORDER society at large has decided it straight up DOESNT EXIST#to the point where REAL ACTUAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS will dismiss your symptoms#not to mention people in your life who dont understand or just straight up dont believe your disorder is real#good luck keeping a job or any other major commitments#considering you'll either be out of commission for like. 1 out of ever 4 weeks#or youll have to work/whatever WHILE experiencing said excruciating pain/crushing depression/debilitating exhaustion#not to mention the GI issues and the migraines and the brain fog and the fucking. full body aches#wanna go to a concert? or plan a vacation? or just. fucking. RELAX? you better hope its not during Hell Week or youre outta luck#and youve got roughly 30-40 YEARS of this to look forward to#maybe less IF YOURE LUCKY#im fucking over it#i cant take it anymore#im making an appt to see a dr and i WILL NOT LEAVE THEIR OFFICE until they have referred me to whoever i have to talk to to make this stop#my fucking fury at having to live like this has officially outweighed my fear of invasive procedures/recovery time/side effects#let along the torture that is navigating the medical care system as an AFAB#i just. i cant do this anymore.#i want to fucking LIVE#fuck
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karkat undoubtedly always tops dave
#NAH IM JK JK i dont mind top!dave guys#but considering karkat who's main hobby is to read shitty romance novels would have more... experience??#idk how to word it but he might've learned a thing or two from them#and out of the two daves the one who needs to be taken care of#daves most likey a power bottom tho XP#theyd probably fight for domming and karkat would win and somehow dave would still be in somewhat control#while hes obv riding the F outta karkats bulge#id like to explore more on this dynamic later lol
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i probably have a post about that dont i. maybe just mentioned it in passing. ITS NORMAL for tfs to give their friends lifts its not a problem its cool its normal. human passenger or tfs. wheres its the trucks ambulances or aircrafts. fine.
#some shit#its not called cisformers#IF U WOULD LIKE. to go ways about thats cool. i dont. fkgbhdfj. making a THING outta it tho. the. control. thing. mreh#cant believe of all things this is one of my lines of distaste.#ITS JUST. when im associating it with like. 00s mens machoism control blah blah. okay. thats all.#GOD FUCK OR THE. MOTORCYCLE WOMEN. nonononono. get me out of here fuck
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had quite the Experience reading a fic tonight. i felt like i stepped into an episode of the twilight zone
#delightful read. bizarre experience. amused emotions.#i was reading and then something happened and i was like 'hey lol ive scribbled something like that! funny'#i moved on with Same Hat feelings#but then it happened again. and again.#and it was like... What The Fuck Is Happening?? This Is So Specific???? Huh???#still amused! but also disoriented!!!#it made me think of that saying-#once is chance. twice is a coincidence. three times is a pattern#im sure it was just a Wild coinkydink but yk. got a kick outta it#actually i should add that fic series to the rec list#definitely worth reading#gave me Feelings#also was just all around well written#absolutely unprompted#might i just say that i love using tumblr like my personal journal#literally anything happens to me and i have to physically restrain myself from running over here#like OH EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR ABOUT THIS#if i had less self control my blog would be a wall of shit like:#'i caught a beetle and threw it outside!'#'saw a big raven outside my window!!'#'my cat did a cute thing!! my other cat did another cute thing!!'#'do you ever fantasize about decomposing!! i do! a lot!'#'once again missing that one enchilada from literal years ago!! it was so good!!'#i would be absolutely Unbearable#i have to pick and choose what im gonna be oversharing#i lay out my options like cards and Ponder them
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had my stroke appointment today, got to see the mri images of my brain and there was a white spot where my brain had died off - kinda neat ngl i want a copy of it to frame 💀
#theres nothing huge they can do for me just monitor me etc#theyve referred me to a neurologist to try and get ahold of my migraines bc theyre outta control#and im gonna have another mri checkup in a few weeks to see how my brain is doing#//shrug emoji//#havent had time to finish my halloween drawing bc of all my medical appointments oop#fingies crossed its done for tonight ;____;#personal
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I'm doing a character debate rn
And who do i pick in the cesspit of fictional characters i like -
Im totally normal ;)
#smg4#smg4 fanart#supermarioglitchy4#glitch productions#smg4 smg3#smg3#stuffy doodles#i swear the slide im working on is like over 10 slides#im outta control rn /j#so update i didn't make it to round 3#im not mad tho i just wanna rant about this dude-
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