#IM GOING GROCERY SHOPPING LATER TODAY iit is not going to stay like this but

[caracello]

fridge check

[hilariesjeffrey]

covid 19 tw

ok I just don’t talk about my personal life on here all that much and im not sure why. It’s my escape from my shitty life but I thought since everything is getting so hectic in the world now I would open up. and I feel like my life is flashing before my eyes, and I don’t have anyone to talk to. as you all know the coronavirus (covid 19) is pretty much everywhere in the world now. the first case of it happened to be in my town, basically in my neighborhood of new rochelle, new york. the first guy who had it happened to be a lawyer from new rochelle who works in manhattan and attends a temple down the street from my house. when I first heard about this, I immediately thought of my dads lawyer. he happens to go to that temple and he lives in new rochelle and works in manhattan. so everything fit the criteria. when I found out his name, everything changed. it was my dads lawyer and i was scared. I knew my dad saw him in november and I had to break the news to my dad since he wasn’t really following that much in depth. he was beside himself. we kept looking up information on him and we found out that he had a really bad cold, that turned into pneumonia and that turned into covid 19. he was in critical condition in a hospital in the city. we found out that his wife and kids and the neighbor who drove him to the hospital all tested positive, but they’re asymptotic. this all happened at the beginning of march. I was shocked to know that someone I knew had it. the first person in my town, my dads lawyer. what are the odds? okay flash forward to last saturday. I work in a restaurant which happens to my family’s restaurant. my moms family. my grandparents started it and now my uncle took it over. it’s been dead over there since everything happened so my uncle told me a week ago to stay home. then the news happened about restaurants closing their dining rooms altogether so I haven’t been to work in a week. monday, my grandpa came down with a bad fever so my aunt and uncle drove him to the hospital (my aunt and uncle live with my grandparents, and one of cousins). they didn’t know what was wrong, I still don’t even know really. but they tested him for the virus and he came back positive. so my aunt and uncle got tested and my uncle got his results back, he’s negative but my aunt and grandma didn’t yet. when they found out about my grandpa, they’ve been self quarantining. they won’t even let anyone in the hospital because he’s positive. iIt’s insane out there. so we kinda all freaked out. (my dad, mom, and sister). I haven’t left my house in a week and my mom hasn’t been out of the house in months because she quit her job. but my dad goes out and runs errands and does shit every day. he goes grocery shopping and gets food and litter for my cats, so he’s out a lot. flash to last night, my sister took her temperature and it was mild (100 I think). the problem is, my grandpa often comes to the restaurant and my sister also works there a couple nights a week so she saw my grandpa last week. I haven’t seen him in I believe to be two weeks. but my mom may have seen him over a week ago? she went to their house. I saw my grandma last friday. but if my grandpa has it, there’s a very good chance my grandma does. but if my sister tests positive, there’s a very good chance she got it from my grandfather. anyway, there’s a testing site in my town about 15 minutes from my house and my mom wants everyone in my family to go today. (me, my sister, my dad). my dad wants to take my sister, he’s saying if she sits in the backseat, he’ll be “fine”. but I told him that his lawyer, the person who drove him to the hospital, that’s how he got it. my dad is just the most stubborn man I’ve ever met and he doesn’t take no for an answer. I told my dad to have my sisters boyfriend drive her, because that’s who she’s been with every day for the past 2 weeks, but he’s saying he doesn’t want her to wait any longer and he wants to take her, possibly knowing that she could have it. and if he doesn’t have it and she does, he could get it easily by being in a car together. but he’s saying that it’s a bad idea for all of us to go in a car together, so my dad and my sister are going right now as I type this and my mom and I will go later. this is an issue in itself because neither I or my sister have our driver licenses so we can’t drive ourselves there. that’s another reason why I’m beating myself up. my dad shouldn’t have to do that. FYI: my best friend just got his results back and he tested positive. I haven’t seen him in person in years but that’s so surreal. he tested positive but his parents and his aunt are negative. these have been the worst couple days of my life. I’m crying all the time, I have severe anxiety and I don’t really know what to do. I’m scared. I want this to be over. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a week because his mom doesn’t want me to come over or him to come over to my house, because she knows it’s in my town. (he doesn’t live in my town, he lives in an adjacent town, about 15 minutes away). and I just don’t know where to turn. I’m really, genuinely terrified if my dad tests positive. he’s in his 60s, going to be 62 in a couple weeks and I’m scared for him. he hasn’t been to the hospital in god knows how long and if somethings wrong I’m just scared he won’t be able to overcome it. he had asthma growing up and his mother died of cancer and his dad died of a blood disease. I know this may be a triggering post for some, but I felt like I had to share what’s going on. I’m sure this is basically a run on sentence since I’m crying and i don’t know what I’m saying. If you read this far, thank you. I appreciate you all, and I'll keep you updated.