#IM GLAD U LIKED THE ONE ABT THE TERRIBLE DADS IM LAUGHING

[ufonaut]

I asked you to rank the shittest dads of the JSA a while ago (which I loved so much thank you!!) so could you also do a ranking for who are the worst husbands or boyfriends in the JSA? I don’t know how to word it since some of the JSA are just not the marrying types (like Ted) so maybe who has just the worst relationship skills/disasters idk. Don’t make fun of me for my wording I can’t think of a word to put for this, but I just love everything to do with the JSA and the problems or disasters of their lives including the others making fun of said disasters lol. Thanks!

NO I GET WHAT YOURE SAYING. I LOVE IT. LETS DO THIS.

A Comprehensive Ranking of JSA (And JSA-Related) Members As Romantic Partners, From Best To Worst:

jay garrick - the model husband. it’s literally physically impossible to do better than jay. he’s completely devoted to joan and adores her, he pulls his weight around the house in terms of chores, he’s never forgotten a single important date or anniversary. women want him, men want to kill him for making them look bad

al pratt - complete sweetheart. he & mary james spend their entire time in college absolutely head over heels for each other but only manage to get it together after they graduate. ideal married life until mary’s death while al is trapped in limbo with the rest of the gang

pat dugan - only married his first wife because she was pregnant with mike and it did NOT work out but look at him with barbara! he’s fast approaching jay levels!

ted grant - ted is not the marrying kind and he’s severely slept with approx every woman he’s ever met BUT he’s a real gentleman about it and genuinely good company. 10/10 as long as nothing above vaguely amicable feelings is involved

johnny thunder - in the all star comics 1940 run, johnny tells the jsa he can’t join up until he asks his girlfriend’s permission. malewife

carter hall - for all the ways he should be banned around children and specifically around kendra, it’s undeniable carter did/does love shiera with his whole entire heart and her death is the leading cause for his occasional insanity. good husband, terrible person

johnny quick chambers - the jsa’s most famous divorcee. johnny isn’t a bad husband per se & he and libby were ridiculously in love once upon a time but the spark went out and they divorced because libby was embarrassed of his get rich quick schemes/infomercials. libby’s loss is the world’s gain

charles mcnider - in love with his nurse/assistant, myra mason, so there’s definitely something to be said about power dynamics (especially in the 1940s) and he does eventually get myra killed during a midnite adventure but. for a moment in time. They Were Very In Love. and i’m counting it as something considering who’s to follow

wes dodds - he & dian have that classic noir detective/girl friday dynamic and it’s fun to see someone as endlessly devoted to each other as they are & extra interesting that they’re one of the few couples from Back Then to never marry but rather opt to be life partners (not to mention the starman arc ‘sand and stars’ regrettably informs us their sex life is better than ever). there is, however, the matter of wes locking dian’s nephew in his basement and the insane insane age difference between them (spectre 92 tells us wes was attending socialite parties when dian was just a little girl)

rex tyler - well-meaning and deeply loving but there’s a chance wendi tyler did not, in fact, see her husband even once for the duration of their marriage. chronically absent. award-winning ability to miss birthdays and anniversaries

ted knight - great husband as far as doris knight & the rest of the world were concerned! now, yknow, if it weren’t for those pesky nights spent in sleazy motels with dinah drake after just about every mission for a year or so

alan scott - this is admittedly a little bit of a dilemma considering alan is gay & closeted and traumatised & angry about it but there’s no way of knowing What Might Have Been and how alan would act with a male partner (as i don’t think he’s ever had any experiences in the matter that’ve lasted longer than a night) so the fact of the matter is that his marriage to molly is a disaster and she’s unhappy enough about it to sell her soul to the literal devil TWICE. between his World Famous Anger Issues and the fact that alan smashes glasses in casual conversation with his best friend if his temper gets the best of him, this is a well deserved spot

[tired-toby]

it's been nearly a year since my first suicide attempt, since the worst summer of my fucking life that i STILL CANT REMEMBER.

and i feel like i've gone nowhere

i'm still the same piece of shit who couldn't even acknowledge the people she hurt, who still tries to victimize herself when she's anything but the victim, who is wasting the time of everyone around her

i know all this. i know these flaws. i'm self-aware and that makes it worse because despite everything i do i feel like i haven't gotten any better, like i haven't improved at all and if anything i've just sunk deeper into this pit

and it's not like i haven't had people reach out!

my math teacher has kept up with me the WHOLE YEAR yet time and time again i let myself fall short.

i want to be better. i need to be better, for the people that are here now and for those that i've hurt in the past.

for my guinea pigs. for my rats. for my dogs. for everyone.

yet here i am just fucking wallowing, crying on an empty blog that no one will read or give a shit about because it's just me.

i graduate soon. well. i /might/ graduate soon

god

i've fallen so far.

my friends are going to harvard, to mit. i feel like i'm just going to a shallow grave.

i wish things were easy, that i could take a few pills and just be /better./ i want to stop feeling this way, i just want to feel better. i've changed my ways! i only drink water, i eat healthier, i walk my dogs for two hours every day, i've taken up new and old hobbies. but i still fall into slumps, i feel like i am a slump.

i've barely told anyone but i haven't felt like myself in weeks and i'm so fucking scared. i feel like i don't know who i am anymore and the coping mechanisms that i've used to try and feel like myself aren't working like they used to. i feel like im fragmented and being pulled apart at the seams. maybe i'm giving myself too much credit

a overfilled trash bag thats splitting and spilling nothing but garbage

that's better.

i'm just overdramatic

i'm just tired

i even have a healthy sleep schedule, did i mention that? in bed by 10, up by 7. i walk my sister to the bus stop almost everyday.

i thought i did everything right. why doesn't it work why aren't i better why am i still the same asshole why am i no one why am i nothing why can't i just be better why am i not fucking dead

55 days until i'm 18

54 until the night i became the world's greatest failure

what kind of idiot fails to kill themself? twice, at that?

i feel like i'm faking this. i read these words i type and i cry and if eel like im faking it. that i'm doing it for attention. i'm manipulative, i lie to emotionally abuse people

i know this and i'm probably doing it now

seems like something i'd do

my mom says my laptop will be back soon, finally repaired. i don't think i mentioned it here but the harddrive broke and i lost everything

stories. hundreds of thousands of words and i WISH that was an exaggeration

my fucking POKEMON. ALL MY GODDAMN POKEMON!!! I BEAT SOUL SILVER WITH JUST AN AMPHAROS AND ITS FUCKING GONE. MARILYN IM SORRY. NOT TO MENTION ALL MY OTHER SAVES

all my art. all those sketches. i've barely drawn since, nothing feels right anymore. not like i know where my art tablet is anyway :/ that's just

gone

everything's gone

once i have a laptop again, i think i'll be happier. i hope i'm happier. my life is there, my happiness is there. it's not healthy to stare at a screen for who knows how many hours of a day but it makes me happy

i want to have fun with graey again. the weeks we'd spend just playing minecraft and stardew and we haven't been able to do anything because i'm just on my phone and a shitty school laptop that can't even run google and word at the same time

i don't know what i'm going to do. this whole thing is a mess, just so much bullshit. and it's barely the tip of the iceberg

i didn't even mention how my dad found another rope in my brother's room. part of me hopes it's not what i think it is and some part of how i once opened his girlfriend's snapchat and found him listed as daddy

fucking discord moderator lookin' ass. it's the trauma innit

i'm doing dnd again. it's not full campaigns, just one-shots with the sewer rats every other weekend or so where i dm and they can have fun.

i like making them happy

i love all of them. they're my family. caesar, crypt, xeno, cat, moe, roo, blink, cig, fox, graey, even fed and ag. if it weren't for you guys, i'd be nothing. i'd be gone.

caesar, you've been with me through everything. i wouldn't be here if you weren't there for me. i'm glad we're getting close again, i've missed your company

i'm glad i'm the one you tag when you see if anyone wants to watch u stream :)

crypt, for all the shit i give you i love you. when are we going to finish mamma mia together u rat ass bitch

xeno u are one of the funniest motherfuckers i've met, even if u are a literal fetus. whenever i see u join vc im always so fucking hyped

cat why r u so fucking racist. when r we gonna play phasmo

moe stop touching kids.

roo i am not gonna lie sometimes u feel like my mom i s2g granted u are geriatric so maybe that makes u my grandma. point still stands, also when r we gonna plot wren and dhova i want my twink-turned-twunk

blink i still need to dm u back give me a sec.

cig u are also a fetus but u are one of my FAVORITE people to brainstorm and plot with. UR BRAIN IS SO WRINKLY AND UR ALWAYS SO RESPONSIVE IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!

fox. ANOTHER FETUS. but also an amazing dm and just?? ur so creative. U ARE SO CREATIVE. UR CHARACTER DESIGN. UR ART SKILLS. ur so underappreciated?

graey when r we having the dildo battle. i will come to alaska and live in a shack in the woods with ur nasty unshowering ass if it means i get to punch u in the face irl and laugh abt the usual bullshit with you.

fed stop being british it's literally so gross idk how u do it. if u stop being british i'll stop bullying u abt ur terrible typing skills

ag u are just. cool. like if i had to pin someone as like the 'cool/chill' person of the sewers it would 100% be u i am ngl. play roblox cats with me u fucking coward

enough of being sappy. they need to stop accusing me of being a lesbian I AM NOT A LESBIAN

ok

im happy again

thinking about them makes me happy

in other news celestial bodies by ghost data is a nice song

[ywjaeha]

helo budz i’m ayn and this is my cityslicker jaeha! he’s 26, city boi, and brand spankin new to yangwon. currently filling in as a veterinarian until he finds a long-term replacement! :’) he’s a pretty chill dude, just rly shy so like. u know. is he against making friends? not really. would he rather befriend the stray dog that keeps trying to steal his zucchini? yea. ANYWAY ! ! ! more info and wanted connections below the cut and also here!! if you’re interested in plotting ! please like this post and i’ll im u! i also have a discord (heunjeok#6758) if that’d be more convenient zz

TL;DR (but not rly bc i ramble lol)

born and raised in the big city! only kid, grew up pretty well-off. his grandparents moved to yangwon when he was a lil baby and lived the rest of their lives out there until passing. he’s visited yangwon a few times (every week every summer through middle school! and then every now and then for a day—sometimes less haha—high school onward) so he’s not Brand New but it sure feels like it :’)

he’s a...... veterinarian. just like his grandpa! finished his post-vet school internship a few months back and he was abt to sign a contract to work in seoul when his grandparents passed. 

originally he just came to yangwon to help tidy up his grandparents’ affairs but ended up committing to filling in as the veterinarian for a year max until a “more suitable replacement” could be found for his grandpa. 

so now he’s living here. in his grandparents’ old house on mugunghwa (neighbors where u at). hasn’t unpacked completely and probably never will bc at this point (he's only been in yangwon since september!) he’s still pretty set on going back to seoul asap. 

still he kind of ! likes it in yangwon ! even tho he won’t admit it! 

generally he’s a pretty polite, even-tempered dude. comes across as a little cold and stilted @ first bc he’s reallllylyyly really shy and it kind of manifests as stiffness instead lmao. that being said, he’s not too great at pretenses and when he smiles/laughs, he rly means it!!! so !!!!! pls dont give up on him he needs friends lmao 

seems kinda like a pushover but he’s pretty str8forward about things he does/doesn’t want to do. like for example when ppl try 2 flirt with him he’s like Im not interested [and then after a pause] but thank u!

internalizes everything bc he’s a grownass man who never learned how to cope w/ his emotions

probably cried watching old yeller but did u not? u heartless b*tch?

some random facts and tidbits: spends way too much time watching reality television (think trashy shows like love island) but is way 2 ashamed so it’s like a dirty secret and he’ll die if anyone finds out. has terrible vision but he’s wearing contacts these days and they’re so gd THICK sometimes his eyes start watering and it looks like he’s just having a bad day and crying it out. he’s super duper fond of kids and animals. likes 2 garden (he’s maintaining his grandma’s garden atm). uhhhhhHhhH he was engaged to a long-time gf but she broke it off maybe one? almost two years ago and he’s #okcool abt it (but not rly, genuinely he’s very exasperated w/ the idea of romance rn). has the tastes of an old lady (his fave snack is yanggeng). and. 

idk what else man. 

he’s (vague hand gesture) really just trying his best. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

people he met when he was way younger and visited yangwon! chances are he won’t recognize u and u won’t recognize him but maybe once u get to talking some gears will shift and something will click! even if it’s been a longass time since he was last in yangwon, he’s pretty desperate for any semblance of familiarity he can anchor himself to ha ha ha

have a pet? or just a ton of animals? as long as they’re not seriously injured/in need of surgery or specialized attention (in which case he’ll reroute the case to haesan, but dw! he’ll make sure the transition goes smoothly!), he’s ur dude :’) 

he’s watching this show called heart signal (it’s a reality show abt finding love) RELIGIOUSLY and u catch him and he’s humiliated but maybe ur a big fan and now u guys have viewing sessions and it’s honestly embarrassing at first but now he’s just glad he has someone to talk to about it

ur mom/dad is seriously concerned that a single dude like jaeha is living on his lonesome in a house built 4 a FAMILY and keeps sending u to check up on him with banchan in tow. it’s really fucking awkward at first! but maybe a rapport develops somewhere along the way ...! 

u think he wants to be friends with u but in reality he just thinks ur kid/dog/cat/literally anything that isn’t an adult human is cute

catch him tearing up in the middle of a conversation bc of his contacts and ur like holy fuck i just made this newcomer CRY and jump to conclusions before jaeha can explain (haha no it’s just my eyes- wait- why are u apologizi- uh-) and now ur dragging him around and going out of ur way to be nice to him in penance and he’s just standing there awkwardly like I’m Never Wearing Contacts Again 

U step on his only pair of glasses and break it to SMITHEREENS! it’s fine but it’ll take a couple of days to get a replacement so it’s chill.... he’ll just walk around........... Hopelessly lost............. vision obscured......... nbd.... 

doesn’t usually drink bc he’s hella #cleanliving but also hella #lightweight so idk... drunk shenanigans... he’s so embarrassed he trips into a bush the next day trying to avoid eye contact w/ u 

only child!!!!!!!!!! but he’s always wanted siblings so idk? maybe a younger sibling figure :’)

ok im [steam comin out of my ears] running out of ideas but we’re just generally looking for some friends! acquaintances! people who were familiar w/ his grandparents! ppl he might have met before! anyone! Anything! let’s go find a wendigo together!