#IM ACTUALLY CRYING KDLFKSLAF;DFASJ;

[fyodior]

Hi my favorite little cum socks. I’m sorry I went MIA but I have work and school and idk not a life though. LMAO. Anyways I’ve come beating fyodor head canons 😍🫶 because I like spoiling y’all like that.

Fyodor accidentally took Viagra instead of his vitamins and he literally had a panic attack because his dick was just randomly hard??? 0/10 don’t recommend

Fyodor’s card got declined at the dollar tree, he was so humiliated he just stole the fucking ramen.

Fyodor ate a caterpillar thinking it was one of those mini pickles. It indeed was not a mini pickle.

Nikola surprisingly convinced Fyodor that, he (fyodor) has a child in Antonio Texas named Ivan. Fyodor has accepted he’s a dead beat

Fyodor stole Ex U.S. president George Bushes nudes .

Fyodor wrote a manifesto but decided not to mail it to the TV station cuz he felt the whole “world domination” thing was too basic 😕

Fyodor can tap dance

Fyodor met Beyoncé once??? Idek how

Fyodor like to slowly pull of the head of gummy bears before he eats them 🫶

Fyodor has a bts Stan account on Twitter and he has quite a large following. Also has been “cancelled” for doxxing a 16 year old for calling bts “mid” Fyodor has also hacked namjoons phone.

Fyodor has been banned from every single Red Lobster restaurant.

Fyodor wanted cheap computer parts and he ended up in the trunk of a 2002 corala Toyota at 3:45am in Spain. He got the parts but he’s missing his left kidney.

Fyodor can’t do a cartwheel.

Fyodor figured out how to cure blindness but spilled tea on his papers and Is to lazy to re-write it

Fyodor watched a middle age lady try to tame three parrots to basically fly her. Like the were trying to lift her into the air. He thinks about it a lot.

Fyodor watched everything, everywhere, all at once and quite literally had a mental break down in the theater, like he was not okay, he was so emotionally distraught the person next to him asked if he wanted a hug.10/10 movie

Fyodor has a fake pair of boobs he uses for a pillow when he falls asleep working

Fyodor stole someones chihuahua and gaslighted them into thinking they never had a dog. It’s name is window. No I didn’t misspell that yes the fucking chihuahua is named Window.

Fyodor hates Ellen so much he ended up stealing half of her assets.

Fyodor pays for a woman’s college tuition he met at a strip club, not out of the kindness of his heart but because she just couldn’t dance LMAO and got 2nd hand embarrassment.

Fyodor ended up chaperoning some high schools home coming and spreader the rumor that Chris G. Is cheating with Sarah P. Jane Y. And Tyler W. And Sarah P. Is pregnant with twins.

Fyodor almost became a sugar baby because he was re-writing the manifesto and he kinda just went “omg this is so much workkkk.”

Fyodor woke up in North Korea because he decided to eat the mini pickle. It was a mini pickle! this time but it was poisoned and is now missing a rib bone on his right side. And ran a tofu business briefly.

-your one and only, Fyodor’s missing left kidney

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READING EACH ONE OF THESE WAS LIKE GETTING FUCKING WHIPLASH OVER AND OVER DFJLKASDFJKLAS HOW THE FUCK DO OYU COME UP WITH THESE IM IN TEARS

WHAT EDID HE DO TO GET BANNED FROM RED LOBSTER AND WHY DID HE STEAL WINDOW THE CHIUHUAUA