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lightskinrry · 6 years ago

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I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me.

The one where being handcuffed to Harry made Y/N realize way more things than she thought (aka part two of ‘I can't remember why i loved you, anyway.’)

Word Count: 4.4k

TW: angst!!! fluff and smut!!!! I really decided to kill y’all

A/N: here’s part two of ‘I can’t remember why I loved you, anyway.’ Thank you for showing so much love!!! I love y’all you filthy bunch!!!

thank you to my beautiful wife @belladonna-styles for reading it over!!!

Read Part One here!

You’ve spent the day avoiding Harry, acting like nothing happened, like you didn’t feel a million butterflies in your stomach when he told you he loved kissing you, like your heart wasn’t drowning in despair – exactly like after you left two years ago.

Danny didn’t mention the whole ‘handcuffs’ situation. She’s been bubbly and sweet as her usual self, but you could tell she was confused and upset. Her cheerfulness wasn’t genuine. And you felt so embarrassed and remorseful for humiliating her. Because that’s how you thought she felt when you accidentally let everyone know that you were not over your ex –despite coming in with your new girlfriend.

You tried being relaxed and aloof about the situation, promising yourself that you’ll talk about it later with her. You mulled over Harry’s words all day. You dwelled on every single detail about him; his shifty eyes, his slow tone, his soft fingertips, everything that could indicate you that somehow he missed you too.

Maybe it was just for the game, just to get out of the handcuffs but your heart wanted to believe that he meant every word he said. That the way his voice vibrated in your ears like a million angels singing wasn’t just a beautiful hallucination, he meant it and he felt it too.

When you came back to Jeff’s house later that night, everybody was already in their rooms. You stayed out late with Danny to try and discuss the whole Harry situation and the outcome wasn’t good.

At least from your perspective; you explained to her how you and Harry stayed three years together only to break up over the most stupid things; and the more you talked about it the more you felt like it was stupid and that it shouldn’t have happened. You excepted Danny to tell you off and be defensive but to your surprise and disarray, she was very comprehensive and supportive, talking about getting you through and him not being worthy of someone like you.

You’ve given her a warm smile and decided to go back home to get some sleep. She collapsed on the bed as soon as she got out of the shower and you were left alone with your thoughts. You took a long and cold shower just to overthink everything again and ponder better answers for Harry. I love your hands; the way you used to touch me made me feel so beautiful, intense, and safe. It made me feel like you were mine. I liked it when you were mine. I wish you were still mine. You chased the thoughts away, trying to focus on something else but all this struggling and confusion in your mind gave you a headache.

You took a glimpse at Danny peacefully sleeping on the king-size bed. You put a large t-shirt on, one you’ve found on the bedside. You looked at yourself in the mirror and realized it was Danny’s, and worst it was a ‘treat people with kindness’ t-shirt from Harry’s merch. You wanted to take it off but the pounding feeling in your head hastened you to go down, so you left it on.

You strolled around the kitchen looking for some aspirin. You opened a higher shelf and saw the treasure you were looking for, way in the back and out of reach. You struggled to try and catch it. The moment you resigned to use a chair, you felt someone behind you. Their chest pressed against your back and their arm over your shoulder, reaching the pill bottle you were desperately trying to reach. You realized soon enough who stood behind you.

Your eyes gazed over at his strong arms covered in ink. Those same arms that used to wrap around your waist and make you swing, the arms you’d cry in, the arms that held you after an orgasm, the arms that let you go, two years ago.

He placed himself next to you; his lower back resting against the counter. He handed you the bottle.

“Thank you.” Your voice was low; you didn’t even look in his eyes.

“You’re welcome.” He crossed his arms on his chest and traced your body with his stare, smiling at the sight of your shirt.

“What are you doing up this late?” You asked him, genuinely curious to know what kept him from sleeping. He was always tight with his sleeping schedule and would never miss a chance to get extra hours of sleep.

“Can’t sleep, that’s all.”

You hummed at his answer, popping the bottle open to grab a pill.

“What about you? What keeps you up?” His tone was cheeky. It was like he knew he was the reason why you couldn’t sleep.

“Not much.” You tried to abridge the conversation.

“I haven’t seen you in all day.” His poor attempt at keeping the conversation alive made you smile. Truth was; you needed the talk but you weren’t too keen on having it.

“You haven’t seen me in over two years, Harry. Are you really complaining about one day?”

He shrugged and a chuckle fell from his lips.

“Fair enough.”

You poured a glass of water and swallowed the aspirin loudly. Harry’s gaze never leaving you; his eyes tracing your body and your every move. He took a deep breath and started talking.

“I’m sorry, I acted like a jerk this weekend.”

You choked a little bit. Was he really apologizing?

You heard him laugh a little bit and you gave him a brazen look.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s just further proof we’re better off avoiding each other.”

He looked at you intently, trying to catch your eyes. But you knew if you made eye contact with him, he would know you were lying.

“Are we, Y/N?” His voice was deep and slow, he talked lower than before as if he didn’t want you to hear him.

“What do you mean?”

An awkward silence installed between the two of you before the words left his mouth.

“I meant what I said earlier this morning. It wasn’t because of the handcuffs.”

You felt your heart smile; he meant it, he felt what you felt.

You tiptoed around with your words, thinking about an answer that wouldn’t give away the relief you felt. After all, you haven’t forgiven him yet.

“I meant what I said too, you know. It’s just… Those are only words, Harry.”

He looked quite offended as if he expected a different reaction from you.

“And what? Words mean a lot!”

“Actions mean more.” You settled your tone making him understand that this was not enough to get anything from you, no matter what he was expecting to get from you.

He looked down for a second and then looked up at you.

“You mean like the night you left me and threw all these horrible things at my face?”

You gasped. You were definitely not anticipating this kind of answer. Was that how that night played for him? You leaving him after saying horrible things?

You had to give him your own version of the breakup.

“The night you let me go after I told you, you hurt me.”

He stared at you silently, biting his cheek.

“You told me I was a cheater, a liar, and that I was never good enough for you.”

His words resounded in the room. It was the words you used but in such a different context, you needed him to understand what he did to you. Your throat tightened as you started talking.

“Because I’ve spent nights crying alone when you were out –I don’t know where! Because I would call your phone for hours and never get a call back before I fell asleep! Because…”

You fought hard against your tears, not wanting him to see you break down.

“Because I gave my all in this relationship and I wanted to work things out but you just gave up on us the minute it got harder.”

He drank your words; you could see it in his eyes, his gloomy look, his lips pinched. He was trying to catch all the information you gave him. He furrowed his eyebrows as your last sentence reached his ears. He looked hurt.

“I… I was only working and you know it!”

You tried to speak but he kept going.

“I never wanted anybody else but you! I’ve never even thought about somebody else because you were the only one I could see.”

You could hear the pain in his voice and you could feel your heart bruise from the inside.

“You act like you were perfect in this relationship! You were not!”

He was right. You were never perfect in this relationship but you sure did more for it than he ever did.

“How many times have I put aside important things so I could be there for you? How can you say I gave up on us? I called a million times after you left? I went asked your friends, your family, just to get a piece of you and apologize.”

You were bewildered by his words. He did what now?

You sensed your heart drown and drown, falling deeper as his answer got to your brain.

“What?”

Your stunned look made him confused.

“I’ve spent months trying to reach you and then you were dating that douche again. It’s the moment I gave up. I gave up on getting you back. I never gave up on us.”

You remembered now how this whole thing played out. You hated him so much after that night; you changed everything, from your number to the locks on your door. You didn’t want to see him ever again and in an attempt to soothe your broken heart you went back to your ex. It has been a hard time. And you just couldn’t believe that this whole time Harry actually tried to reach out.

““I… I changed my number when I left and I asked my family not to let you through. So I’ve never received any call, nothing. And I thought you moved on.”

His face was facing the ground but when he spoke again, he stared right into your eyes –almost reaching your soul.

“I didn’t.”

He didn’t move on. He said it. He said he didn’t move on; at least back then. You couldn’t help but wonder –crave for an answer, how he felt now?

“What about now?” You asked softly. “Have you moved on now?”

A giggle fell from his lips. He looked at you with a fond gaze.

“I was crazy in love with you, Y/N. I saw my future with you. I thought I could never love anyone else more than I loved you.”

That warmed your heart but that wasn’t what you needed. You needed more. You needed to know if he still loved you.

“But now? Now you love somebody else? More than you used to love me?”

Your voice cracked just like your heart did at the thought that he could love someone else more than he loved you.

“I don’t know if I love her more than I used to love you. But I’m happy.”

Ouch. The sound of your heart breaking resounded inside your entire body. He was happy; happy with somebody else. You threw your hands in disbelief. And your voice went two octaves higher as it always does when you’re about to cry.

“Are you? Is that why your eyes were screaming when you talked about kissing me? Is that why we keep fighting every time we see each other? Because if you were really over it, would you act like that?”

The truth was; this speech was for you. Your eyes were screaming when he talked about kissing you. If you kept fighting with him and hating him it was only because it’s the closest you could get to him, it’s the closest you could get to love him. You wouldn’t act like this if you were over him; you were never over him.

“Y/N…”

He whispered softly and the mention of your name threw you off; the tears started running down your face.

“I was so in love with you. With every little thing you do, from the way you called my name to the way you kissed me goodnight. I never loved anyone more.”

His eyes were glistening but you couldn’t tell with what. He just left a word out.

“Never?”

You realized it was a rhetorical question. You never loved anyone else. And if he didn’t say he loved you too by now; it just meant it was over.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Harry.”

Your voice was a whisper; it was so hard for you admitting that he moved on when you clearly didn’t.

“Y/N…”

He tried to grab your wrist but you pulled away, feeling his touch would just hurt you more now. You didn’t have anything more to say. Yet, you didn’t want this conversation to end, not because you were a masochist and that you liked being hurt but because you wanted to give him a chance to reciprocate your feelings.

“I guess… I’m just jealous of the way you’re happy without me.”

You just thought of Labrinth’s song out of the blue, it was always one of your favorites and it oddly appeared to be more than relevant in your situation.

You saw Harry smile and giggle. He tilted his head to the side.

“Did you just quote a song?”

You laughed a little bit, trying to release the tension.

“I’m sorry, I ran out of poetic things to say.”

He looked at you. And his face changed. He looked more… like you? Like he felt the same way, like all the words you said to him tonight just reached his brain. He grasped your hand gently and stroked your skin with his thumb; the way he used to when you were together.

“I never stopped loving you.”

His words mended your heart instantly or at least put a few pieces back together.

You looked over at him trying to catch the truth behind his eyes. He pulled his face as close to yours as possible, and whispered,

“I want to kiss you, right now.” His lips were only inches away from yours.

“Kiss me, then.” You whispered back, your breath warming his skin.

He grabbed your jaw and pulled you in for a kiss; his lips softly pressing on yours. You gave in to the kiss, slowly opening your lips like the inside of a rose, soft and fresh; tasting him again and feeling content. You smiled against his lips and that smile turned quickly into a giggle. You pulled away from the kiss.

He looked at you with the endeared look in his eyes and he didn’t even say a word, he just grabbed your face harder and kissed you more intensely. His tongue gently playing with yours while your hands wandered in his hair. You missed kissing him; the way his breath was hot against your skin and the way it felt when he smiled against your lips.

When he detached his lips from yours, he looked stunned and you certainly did too.

“I missed kissing you.” Your voice was low and soft. He smiled at you and pulled you in for another kiss, shorter this time, just to unglue your lips again and whisper against your skin, “I missed it too.”

He lifted you up from the floor and wrapped your legs around his waist.

You were always impressed at his strength not only because he carried you like you weighed nothing but because the way his muscles would clench just reminded you that this man could lift 500 pounds and has been boxing with some of the best trainers in the world.

He carried you all the way to the spare room. It was another room that nobody used and that Jeff kept in case another friend came in late and wanted to settle in.

He pushed the door open with his back and closed it with yours, pushing you against the door and kissing harder. He walked you in his arms up to the bed and threw you on it. It was softer than it seems. You found yourself in the middle of the messed up blue sheets and Harry was on top of you trying to reach your mouth with his.

You took off his shirt, pulling it above his head and he unbuttoned his trousers, making them slide down his strong legs only to reveal that he was not wearing any underwear. You smiled down at him, remembering his tendency to go commando. He looked at you intensely, nibbling his lower lip.

“Kinda want to see you wear my merch while I fuck you.”

His eyes were sparkling with desire looking at your breasts peeking through the white fabric, reading ‘treat people with kindness’.

He gripped your chin and pulled you in for a kiss, making his tongue dance with yours to the sound of your muffled breaths. His lips then slipped to your jaw, trailing the line to your neck. He stayed there a while, nibbling the sensitive skin, biting and sucking it to mark you.

Your hands slithered on his sides, rubbing his skin, his strong back contracting to your touch. You drag your nails slightly against his skin, just to make him shiver against you.

“I fucking missed you.” His voice was muffled as his head was rested in the crook of your neck.

He finally kissed you again on the lips before trailing your body with his hands, grabbing your breasts through your shirt.

You felt his hand press against your panties, his palm rubbing your pussy. He took off your knickers with one hand and threw them on the floor, only to bring his hand back to your cunt and play with it; rubbing your clit with his thumb, pinching your lips together between his index and his thumb, slapping slightly your clit. He then slid two fingers inside your pussy and you clenched around them, moans falling off of your lips. He fingered you gently, bringing his body down to face your pussy.

He kissed it tenderly and started sucking on your clit, slightly biting it.

“Fucking missed your taste.” He moaned against your swollen skin.

He licked you for only a minute. It was not his way to rush the eating out part, it always been his favorite.

“I need to feel you.” He groaned and picked up his trousers from the ground, pulling a condom out of the pocket.

He put it on in a minute. You remembered how he used to struggle with that part until you showed him the technique.

He spat on his fingers and rubbed them against your entrance. He grabbed his cock in one hand and with the other placed your legs up his shoulders.

He slid inside of you.

“F-Fuck.” You saw his eyes rolled and his lips fall open. He was melting into you.

He started thrusting into you slowly, taking his time to fill you up, to make sure you felt every inches of his cock. You felt overwhelmed by the feeling, the rush and the tingling sensation inside your stomach, every time he was balls-deep inside of you. You felt so full. You missed that so much. Only he knew how to properly fill you, how to properly fuck you.

He started pounding harder, getting his face closer to yours.

“I missed you so fucking much.”

His groans made you wetter and you couldn’t help but clench every time you heard his raspy voice whisper filthy words.

“Missed fucking you. Missed your fucking little cunt.”

You scratched his back and wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him deeper inside of you. You muffled your moans inside his neck, and he kept groaning in your ear.

“Your perfect pussy.”

You knew he was about to come, you could feel him pulse inside of you, his pace fastened up.

“Fuck. I love you so much Y/N!”

You wanted to scream. You felt in heaven and you wanted to feel him completely.

“Come inside of me, please!”

Your whisper sent him. He gripped your hair harder and pounded into you again.

“Fuck…”

You felt his cum filling you up; warming your guts and making you feel content.

He collapsed on top of you; his head buried in your neck, kissing the soft spots. He stayed there for a few minutes before you rolled over him, getting on top of him. You straddled on him, rubbing yourself against his cock.

His hands were resting on your hips, helping you getting more pressure every time you rubbed your pussy against him. He was deciding your pace with his hands. They slipped from your hips to rest on your ass, perfectly cupping it. He grabbed it hard, guiding you as you rubbed your pussy harder on him.

You felt his cock hardened against you. A whimper fell from your lips and you grasped it to make it enter your warm and wet cunt again.

He moaned when you sat on his cock, your walls stretching around him. You started riding him gently, your hands resting on his chest, caressing him.

“Fuck. I love when you’re fucking me like that. It feels so fucking good.”

His voice was raspy and deep and it only made you wetter. You started riding faster, jumping and bouncing on him.

“You like that?”

You knew how much he loved when you asked him that, especially when you were on top. He spanked your ass hard, his rings clapping against your warm skin and the stinging sensation making you appreciate the pleasure even more.

“Fuck yes. Keep riding my cock like that.”

He spanked you harder; making you squeal, your pace getting less steady.

“Do you want me to cum for you?”

His grip on your ass intensified and you started bouncing harder, riding longer, until your hips hurt.

“Fuck. Come on my cock. I wanna feel you drip on me.”

You felt your stomach knot and released itself in a minute, you rolled your eyes, your toes curled, and you gripped the sheets so hard, you might have ripped them. You threw your head back and in a last move, you felt the burning turmoil inside of you discharge.

“Fuck Harry! Harry!”

You screamed so loud, Harry had to cover your mouth with his hand, in order to keep you from waking everybody up.

“Fuck you’re so fucking good.”

He moaned before grabbing your hips hard and lifting them up just a little bit so that he could thrust into you as hard as he could a last time before coming inside of you again. You felt your cum –his and yours, drip on your inner thighs. Your legs were shaking and you put all your weight on him, your body resting on top of his.

You slid next to him and laid, still trembling; your eyes shut and your mouth ajar. You took a deep breath and you felt his arms wrapping around you. It was not his kind to be the big spoon but he just tightened his embrace when he felt you shivered against his skin.

“I missed you.” He murmured in the crook of your neck, leaving a sloppy kiss in the sensitive spot he bit earlier. You kissed his fingertips and whispered against his skin, “I missed you too.”

He kissed your forehead and you drifted away to sleep in his arms.

When you woke up in the morning you were sleeping on the other side of the bed, you probably got out of his embrace during the night when you needed more space.

You pulled out your fist and yawned. When you looked around you and you saw him, you felt dazed for a moment, remembering your night together than the realization struck you; your girlfriend was sleeping in the room next door.

You felt horribly guilty. You always said you would never cheat no matter the situation and now you were about to break the heart of an amazing woman who only brought good in your life. You felt disgusted by yourself.

You decided to get out of the bed before Harry woke up so that you could take a shower and try to think things through.

You couldn’t believe what happened last night. It must’ve been a dream. You felt wrong –because you knew it would hurt Danny, but at the same time it felt right –because you knew it was what you wanted. You just needed time to process it.

You decided to talk to Harry about it first but when you came back to the room after your shower, he was nowhere to be seen. Did you stayed so long in the shower? He had to go to another room? Or did he just leave?

You looked over at the clock; you spent 45 minutes in the shower, a long time but still, you couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t wait.

You went down in the kitchen and saw everyone happily sitting at wooden table, chatting, laughing and eating. It hit you in the face; Harry was sitting next to Rosie chuckling and eating strawberries from the same bowl. You felt so stupid, so used. You looked over at him again and when his eyes met yours, tears started filling your eyes. You just left the kitchen.

You locked yourself in the bathroom and took a deep breath. You looked at yourself in the mirror. “You’re too cute to cry.” You wiped away your tears and got out.

You made your way back to the kitchen and sat down next to Danny.

“Is everything okay, honey?” She asked you with worry in her voice.

“Yes. Everything’s good.” You spout out.

“Where were you last night?” Danny was stroking your hand, the same way Harry did and it made you ache.

“I fell asleep on the couch.”

You looked over at Harry again and caught him staring at you. You couldn’t believe he was actually pretending like nothing happened, like the two of you didn’t make love all night and fell asleep in each other’s arms, like he didn’t say he missed you and moaned ‘I love you’ in your ear.

It just broke your heart furthermore. Was he really happy without you?

#harry talks #harry thoughts #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurbs #harry styles drabbles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #writings #IJOTWYHWM #ICRWILYA

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lightskinrry · 6 years ago

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I will forget you, somehow.

The one where Y/N sees Harry months later since their night together in the Hamptons and they reminisce a lot

Word Count: 3.7k

TW: angst! fluff!

A/N: Part Three of Still In Love!! I don’t know if there’s going to be more!!! All I have to say is prepare to die!!

Thank you again to my wonderful wife @belladonna-styles for reading it over!!

Read Part One here! Read Part Two here!

You were standing next to Jeff, a proud smile on his face and even a few tears in the corner of his eyes. You looked around and saw all of your friends with the same kind of look in their eyes; proud and happy. They were all dressed in their best attires; colorful suits and dresses. All of them grinning and cheering. You wondered why you couldn’t be as happy as them; after all it was a wedding.

Weddings are happy events but you just looked depressed, miserable and when you saw her walk down the aisle in her gorgeous white dress, a blissful expression on her face, the tears ran down your face; the bluest tears.

But the real moment you felt your heart break inside your chest was when he placed the ring on her finger. When he kissed her cheek and murmured in her ear. When he promised to love her forever in sickness and health, until death do them part. You thought about all the times he told you; you would be the one he’d give the ring to, the one he’d love forever.

You felt the heartache; the sadness and a surprising rage grow inside of your body. When the minister asked if anyone opposed this union, you felt a rush inside of you and your blood boiling. You stood up and walked toward them, and with pain in your voice, you said “I oppose.”

The only thing you could hear were the laughs of Harry and Rosie and everyone in the audience booing you until the minister asked you to go back to your seat.

You woke up in a cold sweat.

You’ve been dreaming about the same awful scene for days on end, since you received the call from Jeff. He told you Rosie was getting married (he didn’t mention to who… But you knew it was just courtesy not to tell you Harry was getting married.)

Apparently you were invited to the wedding. You mulled over the idea for weeks. You didn’t want to go but you couldn’t dismiss that no matter what happened between you and Harry, he still was one of your closest friends.

And perhaps, this whole wedding thing would make you forget what happened almost six months ago.

After you left the Hamptons, you could not get Harry out of your mind. All the feelings you had for him, everything; from the crave for his touch to the heartbreak of his departure, all those feelings came back. Strangely, despite being sure you moved on, it took him only one night to make you fall in love with him all over again. Maybe you weren’t in love; maybe you just needed closure. Something he never gave to you; he left early with Rosie on the fourth day without addressing a word to you.

You’ve been living your life as usual since then; going out with your friends, working and avoiding each other. Your life just went back to what it was before that night, except that you missed him so much you’d swoon every time a picture of him would randomly show up on your Instagram (not so randomly since you started following his update accounts again).

So basically the only changes you went through after your trip in the Hamptons was being in love with your ex, again; feeling heartbroken and loosing a good friend.

Indeed, you broke up with Danny. You told her about your night with Harry and how you had a hard time getting over him. She cried a lot when you told her. You apologized a thousand times and let her know that she deserved to be with someone who only thought about her, someone who loved her. And that wasn’t you, and maybe it was never you. Of course she dismissed you and asked you not to ever contact her again.

You didn’t, but oddly she did. She called you on a cold night to let you know that she forgave you and that she was glad you told her the truth. You two had a lovely chat over the phone, and your conscience was cleared.

You felt well because you never intended to hurt her and to know she forgave you made you feel good. You were happy that the two of you left on good terms.

The wedding was getting closer and you still hadn’t given an answer yet. What if you went and you messed it up like in your dreams? What if you started crying? What if everybody looked at you because you’re the ex?

After all, that meant you were going to see his family again, all of his friends, and him, in whatever amazing outfit he’d wear, you’d see him dancing tipsy on his wedding night with somebody else… It hurt just thinking about it.

But maybe that’s what you needed, maybe you needed the hurt of realizing he was over it. Maybe you needed that for you to move on.

You decided after much reflection that you’d go to the wedding reception only for the party. You wouldn’t go to the religious ceremony, just the celebration that started at 8PM. You planned on congratulating him, having a glass of champagne and leaving as soon as possible.

The wedding was in LA but you didn’t plan on staying. You tried thinking what outfit would be best for the occasion and your heart decided on a blue silk dress that was just the right amount of slutty and classy. Harry picked it and it was always one of his favorites but you convinced yourself that wasn’t the reason why you picked it.

You pondered over the idea of Harry getting married… Was that planned before the night in the Hamptons? Was that the result of the night in the Hamptons? Was he seeing Rosie back when you two were together?

That thought cut your breath off and made you nauseous. It couldn’t be.

You flew in the night of the wedding; you didn’t care about the jet lag, you knew you’d sleep on the flight back home.

When you arrived, late as usual, everybody was already dancing; probably because your flight was delayed and instead of making at 8, it was already past 11.

The room was huge; they picked a very fancy venue in Malibu, with a high ceiling and a lavish bar. You couldn’t recognize anybody in the lightning and the music. You were moving blindly, just searching for your friends.

You didn’t want to see Harry yet. And he was probably already tipsy and being all ‘lovey dovey’ with his new wife.

God, he had a wife, now. You felt a knot in your stomach and now you only wanted to go home. You turned around and walked to the door but you felt someone grabbing your arm.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you could make it!” Glenne offered you a warm smile and she pulled you in for a hug.

“I’m not staying long…”

“Ah Y/N! We haven’t seen you since that terrible restaurant in Manhattan! It feels like a decade!” Jeff laughed as he embraced you.

“That was last week, Jeff!” Glenne slightly slapped his arm and chuckled.

They were pretty drunk. And you had visual confirmation when you saw them kiss in the mouth. You laughed at them for a second and a waiter interrupted you by offering a glass of champagne; that you accepted straight away.

You took a sip while looking around you, searching for the newlyweds; you still wanted to congratulate them. “Damn, that’s some good champagne!” You told yourself as you made your way through the crowd. After a few glasses and talking with your friends that you found at the bar, of course, you still didn’t have a glance of the bride nor the groom. And none of your friends mentioned Harry while talking about the wedding. It all seemed so weird.

You went over to the bathroom and ran into Rosie. She was glowing; both metaphorically and literally. She was beautiful and covered in glitter; her dress was a sparkly white dress with a bustier covered in sequins and you didn’t know what to think, you just knew it wasn’t your taste but she looked wonderful.

“Congratulations! You look amazing!” You smiled at her and she grinned back.

“Thank you! I thought you wouldn’t come. After what happened I didn’t want you here, but then I thought it was impolite and I wanted to show off a little bit.”

She laughed at your face. You understood her reaction and you couldn’t help but wonder if inviting you was Harry’s idea. Where was he, by the way?

“Yeah, I understand. Sorry about that. Where is he?”

She looked confused. “Who?”

“Your husband?” You asked, letting a little nervous laugh escape from your lips.

“Oh!” She smiled widely. “He’s over there!” She pointed over the huge throne standing in the back of the room, that stayed empty for a while and where now, her husband, was sitting.

You couldn’t get yourself to look at him but your curiosity was stronger than you.

What the fuck was happening?

The man sitting in the throne was blonde, thin, in a plain black suit with a bow tie, and more importantly; he wasn’t Harry.

Your stunned expression made Rosie guffawed. “He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

“Yeah…” You said absentmindedly. Your brain needed time to process.

“But… I thought you and Harry were…” You needed answers now.

“I broke up with him when he told me about you two and now I’m married! That’s growth, honey!”

You looked at her flabbergasted. So Harry never married her.

“If you’re looking for him. He’s probably drunk somewhere. He came to congratulate me and then he disappeared.” She looked behind her, and then grabbed her dress to lift it up. “Anyway, I have to go.” She pointed to the bathroom door and giggled.

It wasn’t Harry’s wedding. You felt relieved. But somehow, you were still hurt. They broke up after he told her about you but he didn’t reach out. Or did he? Did you just plainly miss his calls? Did he not have your new number? Did he ask your friends?

Every possible scenario played out in your head. You rested in a corner, a glass of wine in your hand. Your eyes rummaged in the room looking for him. The music was playing and when the song finished; you lifted your head on the spot when you heard the first notes of the next one.

The Pina Colada song. Your song. You looked at the stage where the band was playing. Your jaw dropped at the sight of the man behind the microphone.

I was tired of my lady.

His voice reached your ears but your brain couldn’t comprehend the situation.

We’ve been together too long.

The people around you were either talking about the performance that clearly wasn’t planned or just ignoring and dancing. You could not fathom that he was on stage, singing this song. And he looked as tipsy as the night you met him.

Like a worn-out recording of a favorite song.

He looked at you intensely. And you saw his eyes gleam. His lips were ajar but no sound was coming out of them. He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the stage not singing, blatantly staring at you. The bassist of the band made him a sign to sing again but he just got off the stage in a hurry.

Everybody seemed confused but then the band started playing again and the original lead singer carried on with the song and people kept going with their feast.

Harry walked slowly towards you and you felt as nervous as could be. You knew this man by heart, yet it still felt like it was the first time you met him. Maybe because of the song, of the circumstances or just the stark fact that he was wearing a white suit at his ex’s wedding? Bold move you thought to yourself.

“Hey.” He smiled shyly to you.

“Hey.” You sat down on the empty seat that was behind you.

“That was a lame performance, what did you think?” He asked you, a giggle leaving his lips as he sat in the spot next to you.

“That was pretty lame, yeah.” You laughed at him. After all, he left the stage before the chorus. You could hear the song play faintly in the background of your conversation.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He wasn’t looking at you anymore, his eyes just wandered randomly around the crowd.

“Yes. Kinda similar situation.” You looked at him for a second. “I thought you were getting married.”

He snickered at your comment. “You thought that?”

“Yes. Why did you think I came all the way to LA for?”

“I don’t know. You and Rosie could’ve been friends.” Both of you laughed at loud at his answer.

“Sure. She’s my best friend.” He gazed over at you. You thought about mentioning your night in the Hamptons, telling him the way you felt, asking why he didn’t reach out, how he broke up with Rosie, asking him about whatever happened in his life during the last six months? But you chose to not say a word before he did.

“Do you remember after we met at that wedding, the first thing we did together?” His eyes shifted away from you.

“Yes. We went to a Rolling Stones show and got fucking baked.”

You chortled at the memory. You always thought it was the best first date ever.

“It was fucking sick.” He smiled distantly; he looked like he was reminiscing too.

“The first time we moved in together, when you broke your leg in the stairway because you wanted to prove that you could carry the biggest box alone. That was sick too.”

You remembered how he bragged about carrying the box on his own, and dismissed you when you insisted to help him and when you climbed the stairs and left him alone at the bottom of them, you heard a high pitched scream, only to find him on the floor the box next to him and a painful look on his face. You laughed so hard that day. Especially when he got up telling you he was fine and that he just needed a kiss to make the pain go away when it turned out he had a really bad sprain.

“You jinxed me.” He laughed loudly.

“I never jinxed you!” You slapped his arm in a playful way.

“What about that Christmas we spent at my parent’s house and you took the last cookie?”

You thought about that Christmas, the first you spent at his parent’s place. You were nervous about spending the entire holiday with them but it just went blissfully.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You raised your eyebrows at him in fake confusion and giggled.

“C’mon Y/N… It was just after I told you I loved you for the first time.”

Your breath was cut off. You remembered that night exactly. The way he kissed you so gently, the way he whispered he was in love with you, how he made you feel so safe and loved. The way he said that he wanted all of his Christmases to be exactly like this one, with you in his arms.

“Yeah, I remember… You gave me the cookie.”

“I didn’t!” He tittered softly. A silence installed between the both of you, until a waiter offered some more champagne. You looked at each other and after a sneaky smile; you both had the same idea. You took all the glasses on the waiter’s plate and thanked him. You sipped lightly on your glass.

“Do you remember that time, in the studio when Jeff walked in on us?”

He laughed. “Hell yes, I remember. One of our most glorious nights.”

You chortled at his answer. “Most glorious to say the least.”

You reminisced the night with great fondness and arousal… The steamy glasses, the recorded screams, the way Jeff gasped at the sight of you two butt naked literally fucking in the studio.

“Do you remember the church day?”

Of course you remembered. It was when you were staying at his place in London and his parents were invited to a baptism and asked you two to come. None of you were religious but you went anyway to please Anne.

You’ve spent the day joking about everything in the Church from the paintings to the literal baby that was getting bathed in holy water. Truth was you probably needed to be bathed in holy water way more than this baby, because while the priest recited the prayers, the two of you escaped and had sex in the confessional. And when you came out of the booth, to hear the choir sing; he held you in his arms, and whispered for the first time that he wanted to marry you.

“You said you wanted to marry me.” The words left your mouth and you realized what you said only when you looked at his face; his eyebrows raised and a smirk plastered on his lips.

“I said that?” His cheeky tone made you laugh.

“Yeah. You said you wanted to make me your wife.”

“I want to make you my wife.” He held the glass of champagne to his lips, his grin never leaving them.

It was probably the alcohol talking; the both of you were quite drunk by now.

“I still love you, you know.” Now you didn’t control the words that were coming out of your mouth, they were just slipping on their own.

Before Harry could answer, you shook your glass in front of his face. “But I’ll forget you, somehow.”

He looked you in the eyes. And took your glass away from your hands, he looked much more serious than he did a few seconds earlier.

“I don’t want you to forget me.” You could hear the desolation in his voice.

You didn’t want to forget him, either.

“Why did you leave in the morning, that night in the Hamptons?”

He seemed surprised by your question and looked at the ground.

“I felt terrible.”

You felt tears gathering inside your eyes. He gave you a wretched look.

“Not about our night. It was wonderful. I felt terrible because of Rosie, because of what I did to her.”

You both looked around the crowd and giggled. “She didn’t go that bad, though.”

“I felt like the worst scumbag in the world and I owed it to her to tell her the truth, you know?”

You nodded for an answer. You understood his stand; you were in the same position.

“I’m so sorry you felt left out. I just didn’t know what to do. And then you left with Danny and everyone told me you were fine and you were still with her, so I guessed you didn’t feel the way I did.”

You stopped him in his track. “What? Who told you I was still with her?”

“Herself. She called me like a week after the Hamptons to tell me that I should not try to contact you in any way because you two were together. And she sent a message a few months later to tell me you were still with her.”

You were bewildered by what you heard. You broke up with Danny a few days after the Hamptons. And now you discovered she told Harry you were still together.

“I broke up with her, like two days after coming back.”

“I tried to reach you but I didn’t want to interfere. I didn’t want to hold you back from moving on.”

“I can’t believe that.” You were dumbfounded by the revelations Harry made. You thought about calling her and settling scores but it wasn’t necessary, you preferred to just let it go. Karma would do her better than you ever would.

“I still love you, Y/N.” He cupped your face with his hands.

“I meant it when I said I never stopped loving you.”

His thumb stroked your cheek in a gentle way. He tilted his head to the side and smiled.

“I mean… I sang the Pina Colada song for you! Out of tune!”

You giggled and he brought his face closer to yours. You know he was about to kiss you, but you didn’t want just a kiss or just another night. You needed more. You took his hands off your face, and stared into his eyes.

“I need more than words, Harry. More than a half drunk kiss. More than one night in the Hamptons. This will not erased the last two years, or the hurt from our past.”

He nodded at you and held your hand inside of his. He held it tight and brought it to his heart. A dramatic gesture that made perfect sense in the light of his alcohol consumption.

“I promise you I will give more. More love, more time, more effort. I will do anything you need me to do if that means you’re willing to try again.”

Your heart was pounding so fast that you thought it might as well jump out of your chest. That was what you needed to hear. But now you needed to see and feel the actions.

“I am willing to try again.” He beamed widely. “But I need actions, Harry, not only words.”

He gazed in your eyes for a moment.

“Well, my first action is asking you if you want to start over?”

You looked at him confused.

“I’m Harry.” He reached his hand out for you to shake it. And you understood what he meant; the wedding, the song, the white suit and his drunk ass. Everything was like your first night meeting, and it was worth the try. You smiled at him and shook his hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

He giggled before the words fell from his lips, “I’m pleased to meet you.”

You snickered before grabbing his face and kissing him. You felt him smile against your lips. You were ready to start over.

But you couldn’t act like you forgot him. You would never forget him.

TAGLIST: @tandy-mikaelson; @caringharrystyles ; @babebenhardy ; @madformichael

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