#IF YOU'RE A CIS MAN DON'T LOOK AT HER!! SHE'S FOR THE GIRLIES!!

[neonovastuff]

SHUT UP!!?! I AM ONLY NOW REALIZING SHE HAS A SILVER CHAIN AND HER CHEST SHOWS A LITTLE IN THESE PICS?!?! I need to talk about this bc I was always too mesmerized by her face to notice any other details 😭😭

[velvetvexations]

on the topic of trans women being affected by transandrophobia, there has been a lot of recent discourse on twitter from TRFs over artworks that are assumed to be of trans women (but are usually of non-binary people, or a loving portrait of pre-transition trans woman drawn by her friend) appearing too “masculine.” In these discourses several butch and gender non conforming trans women have spoken up about feeling hurt to see their peers call art that looks like them (or is even explicitly *of* them) be called caricature or a troonjack. Following one of these events I saw a tweet bemoaning how butch transfems are *always* taking the “TMEs” side and betraying their sisters and that this made them “honorary transmascs who should be treated as such.”

It reminded me so distinctly of the bullying I received before I even realized I was trans for failing womanhood, and then the subsequent “gender traitor” treatment I received. I understand that trans women might not necessarily want to understand that treatment as being an extension of transandrophobia, and frankly I think the way those trans women and fems were being treated could as easily be called transmisogyny, it just made me think a lot about how transphobia can be deeply… circular I suppose in how we are punished. Now that I am broadly read as an effeminate man I deal with a lot of bullying from other men (cis and trans) that a lot of trans women could probably relate to from before they transitioned. We have a lot in common.

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that transradfems really fucking hate GNC trans women because they aren't pretty anime forcefem kink girly girls.

It would explain why they've painting other queers as obsessed with transmisogynistic caricatures their new thing, so they can make sure other trans women stay attractive to them. Hey, did you get any comfort from that post about love for butch t-girls? Yeah, sorry to break it to you, they're basically calling you Buffalo Bill. They think you're Tim Curry in RHPS. If a TME is ever nice to you it's because you're ugly and don't pass and they see you as a drag queen who they love so much more than real t-girls who of course all look like this fictional femboy I throw a raging fit about not canonically being transfem despite not even being in the fandom.

Having said that, lmfao I want to be an honorary transmasc, plllllease. I feel the most community with the transandrophobia-acknowledging part of the internet and with my experiences in life having already been extremely weighted towards interacting with AFAB trans people and cis men because I met people mostly through kin* and kink,** I have this sense of being an outsider that can't connect with people on that level.***

*actual proper "this is literally me in a past life" fictionkin are overwhelmingly AFAB to the point I don't think another AMAB person has ever even submitted an application to the server I'm in

**my kinks are weighted towards AFAB people and cis men; even with my misgendering kink I still have to wade through a billion posts for AFAB people to find one crumb of AMAB content

***still mad about that TRF who took me being sad about alienation and was like "of course no other transfem wants to talk to her she's so transmisogynistic" as though my problem with TRFs making me feel alienated from transfems is them having a problem with me and not me being proudly opposed to them

[chevaliermalfets]

Hello, I am already in love with with Morgan. I'd love to hear more about her, or know where I could read her story?

Also. In a world where men get their heads cut off and are fine, or grow to be as tall as trees, or hold their breath for nine days, I think we deserve some Mary Sue girlies. As a treat. :)

hiiii I haven't written anything for her (or arthuriana in general) but I have many thoughts that I'll put under a readmore

also you're SO right we do deserve some mary sue girlies. as a treat!!

some jumbled thoughts about morgan:

first off im the world's #1 supporter of arthur/guinevere/lancelot polyamory and also of playing with lancelot's gender, so in my version, lancelot is afab (possibly transmasc or nonbinary, I haven't fully decided) but presents as male so only a few people (arthur, guinevere, the lady of the lake (who raised him, let him dress masc and get trained as a knight, etc), maybe one or two others) know that he's not a cis man. also while arthur/guinevere/lancelot is very much a thing, they have to keep it secret, and there's still rumors that lancelot is sleeping with the queen (he is. he's also sleeping with the king. usually at the same time).

so at one point lancelot gets pregnant with arthur's child and they have problems because:

they can't exactly announce that their best knight is going on maternity leave

they want to acknowledge the baby as one of arthur's children

so the solution is to send lancelot "on a quest" where he just goes back to....the lady of the lake?? probably?? and chills with her for a while until he has baby morgan and he then secretly sends her to camelot

at the same time, guinevere fakes a pregnancy, and there's a bunch of rumors that lancelot is the father because of his conveniently timed "quest"

so when baby morgan arrives, arthur announces the baby to the court and the nobles/castle staff/etc are all clambering to see the baby to figure out if lancelot is the father. they all take one look and are like "oh. that's definitely arthur's child" (either through facial features, or im also thinking arthur and morgan have darker skin while both guinevere and lancelot have lighter skin) and some of them are a bit disappointed because they wanted to keep spreading rumors

morgan grows up in the castle and is friends with other nobles' kids, and she's jealous when the boys her age start to get knight training, so she watches the training from her window and tries to teach herself. when she's like 10, one of her friends' (still working on a name, calling her V for now) father (a knight?) dies (V's mother also died several years prior) and she's left destitute, but morgan sneaks her into the castle and hides her in her room and sneaks her food. (morgan's nanny catches on pretty quickly but doesn't say anything, she just makes sure there's always extra food left out in the room and plenty of clothes and toys)

by the time she's like 12, mordred can very clearly tell that his little sister is arthur's favorite and could pose a threat to his guaranteed succession to the throne, so he tries to kill her (poison?? maybe with the help of morgana or morgause?? or an "accident" when she's horseback riding??) and she's very sick for a few weeks. arthur strongly suspects it was mordred, but he doesn't have any evidence so he can't do anything about it.

to keep her safe, arthur decides to send her to a convent. she's upset about this and throws a fit because she doesn't realize she was poisoned, she just thinks she's being punished. she also realizes that she can't keep taking care of V if she's not living in the castle, so they hatch a Scheme™

when the knights come to escort morgan to the convent, she comes out of her room all ready to go with her hood pulled over her face and she's acting very pouty. the knights are all like "ugh why did we have to get stuck escorting the bratty princess" so they don't interact with her much, they just try to get this over with as soon as possible. they take her to the convent and introduce her to the nuns and get out of there. the nuns have never seen the princess so they don't realize that they're raising V instead of morgan

meanwhile morgan runs away, disguised as a boy, and starts training to be a knight for several years (possibly with the help of the lady of the lake)

after four years or so, arthur and guinevere send for morgan to come back to camelot to have a role in the court. when V shows up pretending to be morgan, no one knows the difference because they haven't seen her in four years and she looks close enough. V continues to live at court for several years doing princess things

eventually, lancelot and guinevere get caught, lancelot escapes, and guinevere is sentenced to be burnt at the stake. mordred knows lancelot is going to mount a rescue, so he plants a trap on the outskirts of camelot and captures him. being the dramatic Bitch™ that he is, he waits until the last minute (when they're leading guinevere to the stake) to tell arthur.

(I have this scene so clearly in my head. arthur is staring out the window at guinevere, he doesn't even turn when the big doors slam open, only looks when mordred begins speaking to him and tells him he has good news. his goons lead in a chained up knight with a bag over his head and force him onto his knees, then mordred says something like "I have captured the traitor knight" and pulls the bag off lancelot's head. lancelot and arthur lock eyes and lancelot is very clearly apologizing for failing while arthur just looks heartbroken, because not only does he have to watch guinevere burn now with no hope of her being rescued, but he'll also have to sentence the man he loves to death as well. arthur's forced to let the execution proceed and at the very last moment an army storms the square and a mysterious knight rescues guinevere and rides off with her. arthur and lancelot and relieved but also extremely confused because the knight's insignia is unfamiliar, and they have no idea what he intends to do with guinevere.)

surprise, the mysterious knight is morgan! she sends her army off to keep guinevere safe and goes to camelot under a flag of truce. she gets taken to arthur, but still wearing full armor with her visor down so no one knows who she is. she goes up to mordred and throws her glove down to challenge him to a duel to the death, claiming that he tried to kill her years ago. he doesn't deny it, saying he's tried to kill lots of people. they fight, she wins, while she has her sword to his throat she demands he withdraw the accusations against the queen and lancelot. he does, so she lets him live, but now lancelot and guinevere are free and can return to camelot.

morgan turns to arthur and pledges her loyalty and asks to be a knight of the round table, and he's so grateful that lancelot and guinevere are safe that he accepts. he asks her to stand and asks her name and to remove her helmet. she reveals that she's princess morgan, which V confirms (maybe morgan also shows a distinctive birthmark or something to further prove her identity)

yay! everyone's happy! morgan gets to be a knight and also be princess and also gets gay married to V.

I'm thinking also maybe redemption arc for mordred where he comes around to caring for morgan, maybe throws himself in front of a sword for her and tells her she'll be a good queen or smth as his last words

[alarajrogers]

As an autistic cis woman -- being raised as a woman is incredibly traumatic for certain types of neurodivergence. Why am I, an 8 year old, expected to cover my chest so no one will see my nipples, when my 8 year old male classmates can be bare-chested? Why does it matter that my clothes be fashionable? Who cares? Why do I have to put gunk on my face? Why is it even important to be pretty?

Plus the backstabbing and lying and bullshit from other girls. I won't say boys were straightforward; they were just as happy as girls were to try to trick me into answering questions full of sexual innuendo ("do you like to pet your pussy? do you still have your cherry?" I was in second grade.) But at least boys never pretended to be my friend and then betrayed me.

At least, I was raised by a feminist, who'd herself been raised by a strong, domineering woman who, while not identifying as a feminist, was The One In Charge Of Money And Important Shit because she was good at it and she took control and her husband deferred to her, so all my role models of adult women were people who men deferred to. I never caught any shit from any adult about being a gifted kid and not being shy about who knew it. And I liked girly shit, like dolls -- love dolls, I do not understand people who are afraid of dolls, dolls are friends -- and purses, and barrettes in my hair. I was perfectly comfortable being cis until I became a teen and "you have to carefully control your own level of sexiness" became a thing, at which point I would have declared myself enby if we'd had the concept then, and I stayed actively rejecting femininity until I had kids and could adopt the role of "mom", at which point I learned it was never femininity I had a problem with -- it was the expected role of young women as objects for the male gaze.

But this concept people have that girls are automatically sweet and nice and loving? All I can think is that anyone who thinks that was one of the bullies themselves, and is in denial. Because most girls experience being bullied by other girls to at least some extent, or see it happening. If you never saw it and you never experienced it... you were either not looking, or trying very very hard not to interpret what you were seeing (or maybe doing) as bullying. (I suppose it's possible, if you're a trans woman, that you never saw it because where you lived, girls hid that kind of interaction from people they thought were boys, but if so, my guess is you have been bullied by women and just didn't recognize it for what it was.) I mean, we live in a society where the concepts of "the busybody who tries to get the neighbors in trouble", "the overly entitled customer" and "the white person who will call the cops on black people who are just minding their own business" are all conceptualized as women. (There are definitely men who do these things too, but our cultural concept of who does these things is women.) So where do you get the idea that women are nice and sweet and never hurt anyone?

I love that there are women out there who love femininity so much, they will challenge an entire society, give up all their birth privilege, and willingly risk severe social opprobrium just to embrace being female. Trans women are great. You're lovely. But any of you trying to claim that, in general, the way you are treated is light-years worse than the way trans men are treated, to the point where it justifies you behaving as if trans men don't suffer any specific issues for being forced into feminine behavior as kids or teens, being sexualized in a way that's actively dysphoric, being a man with a woman's reproductive system in a world where men are supposed to be performatively disgusted with women's reproductive systems, etc... you're just wrong and you should probably shut up about issues facing trans men.

Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.

[lesbiankrem]

Weekes accidently getting Krem's story accurate to the lesbian and/or cross dressing man experience is because he based Krem's story on Pratchett's Monsterous Regiment. A story where every single character save one is revealed to be a cross dressing girl or woman. Gendies have latched onto that book despite its themes being the opposite of what they believe. Even his daughter doesn't get it.

Oh wow that makes a lot of sense.

And once again they look at women trying to be more than the gendered roles and cultural swamps of sexism we're drowning in and say: "wow! Look at those ones! They aren't real women. Can't be, they don't dress or act like Women(tm) do. Cool. Must be something else... men? Nonbinary?"

You really do have to aggressively lean into saying "I'm woman" every other sentence or do femininity calculus and be sure to keep up enough to outweigh each gnc choice to keep yourself from getting posthumously trans'd or enby'd with these people. Whether you're a living woman or a female character.

That may be why, as cute as it genuinely is, it always pissed me off how they just had to stick little hearts on Cassandra's armor, make her really into romance novels, have her do little high pitched giggles sometimes (end credits). It's cute! It reads true! I like her character! But I have a sneaking suspicion they subconsciously felt so much like doing it from that "femininity vs gnc" calculus mindset to keep her "girly" enough to be a "cis" she/her woman to them.

Every last one of their "cis" female characters I have seen so far don't get near as stylistically and behaviorally gender nonconforming as Krem is allowed to be with a trans identity. This is telling.

[queerkuro]

I personally love transfem (and bigender) very very much :') especially with transmasc Noya <3 yin and yang like always

i'm assuming this is about asahi

yes yes yes you are so correct

send me and bex characters

literally how can anyone see noya and not think he's transmasc? that is a trans man right there.

i think overall noya is really confident in himself, and generally doesn't have much dysphoria. even though he's small, his body isn't """girly""" so he doesn't really mind how he looks. i think he's known for a long time that he was trans, and it didn't take much thought for him to come to that if you get what i mean. like he didn't spend ages researching or anything else, he was just like yeah i'm a guy and that was that

have yall seen that art of trans karasuno, and all of them have signs talking about their transness? ever since is saw that i've considered noya's canon. his said something about he leaves his packer out in the club room to scare people and i think that fucking hilarious

EDIT - the person that asked this literally drew the art i was talking about! here's the post :) go reblog it

i actually don't really hc noya as anything but transmasc, but i think i could get with nonbinary he/they noya

(sidenote, tanaka is also transmasc and he and noya have done the whole "i'll show you mine if you show me yours")

for asahi - yesssssss i love transfem asahi! and i love bigender asahi! i think it took a lot for her to get to that point, you know? like it took a long time for her to get confident enough in herself to recognize that she isn't cis. i think it took a lot of strength just for her to originally acknowledge that she wasn't straight (when she still identified as a cis man), only for her to also start questioning her gender

i like to think that asahi going into fashion was also a big part of her being comfortable with femininity! it let her explore a lot of new expressions in a safe environment, and she was able to discover what was most comfortable for her.

getting into asanoya, i think noya was a huge help to asahi discovering her transness. it definitely wasn't all noya, it was asahi's journey or whatever, but noya was so supportive and helpful. but not in a coddling way, in more of a "asahi. cis people don't question these things" way and a "okay so you're trans. that's cool" way.

i think asahi (trans or not!) thinks that noya is so fucking cool and is amazed by his confidence and strives to be like that, so to have noya be that boost of confidence really means a lot

also? noya loves his tall girlfriend lmao. he will climb her he's unashamed. he thinks she's so hot. he also likes to make jokes when asahi wears skirts or dresses about being able to see/go under them because of their height difference

@emosuna

@winto-green (and here's asanoya!)

[ladychlo]

hi chay, dont mind me just a curious lad with a silly question. if someone is generally very masculine about the way they dress and act like and talk abt themselves, does that mean they can't be genderfluid? like, i as an afab who's very confused abt my gender, i love to dress up in a feminine way, i love dresses i love make up i love long hair and i do "act" like a girly referring to myself as she/her and all of that /sometimes/ more in public tho. i love all of my feminine features. but sometimes i do wanna dress up in a more "masculine" way yk? i wear my dad's or brother's clothes sometimes and act like a lad. and i do sometimes find myself more comfortable in that kind of attire. im not trying to be stereotypical abt this but idk how else to express this im sorry. so i just can't help but wonder that if a man, a queer man to be more specific, who is so "masculine" all the time, wears laddy clothes calls himself a lad and all of that stuff and just is very kinda cis in expressing himself most of the time, and it might not be pretense ok but then why does the idea of him wearing dresses at home so bothersome? there are people who say its disrespectful to assume that every queer guy is flamboyant or genderfluid in some way or the other, that it's stereotypical. but if lgbtq and just gender in general is a spectrum of infinite colors, isnt it just as stereotypical to assume that just bc someone dresses and acts a certain way they can't do other stuff? just bc a laddy lad acts like a typical cis lad with everyone, he can't wear dresses at home just for the mere fact that he finds comfort in it? and if assuming that about someone is rude then assuming the opposite should be to! or should it not?

im just very confused abt the whole thing and im like very very new to this, all of this, like a baby queer if you can call me that so I'm really sorry if anything i said up there came out sounding offensive or one-dimensional or like idk not ok, i genuinely apologize that was not the intention. im just very confused about a lot of things rn and this is just me trying to make sense of stuff. feel free to ignore this or tell me off if i said anything wrong. also sorry for the rant

Hi love!!

you don't have to apologize you're totally fine!

look between how you identify with gender and how you express it can be lots of intimate and interchangeable links but also these two are at the same time separate realms. you can identify as gender fluid, agender, nonbinary, trans, cis, etc but how you express this identity (meaning your pronouns, your name, your clothes, etc etc) is your art, is whatever you want it to be, whatever makes you feel good, validated, and whatever makes you feel at home with your skin. so if you feel like expressing your gender today in a more feminine way (how you see femininity and how you define it) then perfect, if tomorrow you feel like you wanna express it in a more masculine way (again how you see masculinity and how you define it) then its all so perfect! you can always explore your gender and redefine it the way you want.

for the second part about the ''lad'' thing, everyone has a gender expression whether you're cis or trans/ gender non-conforming, of course, there is systematic discrimination and power balance that comes with reversing gender expectations and also some personal stuff you have to deal with, there is more layers when it comes to that.

however, for example, lad culture is a way for lads to express their gender, very injected by a cultural setting, by a class, by certain things that define what is a lad and they conform to it, however, it does not erase the possibility of exploring your gender while being a lad, you know, a lad can deff wear dresses, can wear makeup, can redefine the ''laddiness'' and reshape their gender expression, regardless of how they identify their gender

and about the stereotypes, look I personally don't like the idea of pushing the argument of ''you cant assume this, this is just a stereotype'' you can say this to cishets who their judgment can be rooted in the system that benefits them but as queer people, our history is linked by the things others say its ''stereotype'', recognizing that a gay man can be effeminate and present as masculine or sometimes be okay with being feminine or whatever they want is not stereotyping is just another complex reality of a queer person.

idk if I answered your questions love, but please do come back if you have more or something wasn't clear <3

[nightswithkookmin]

I hate it here

Why does he get to appropriate people's race and still have so much access??

I thought impersonation was a crime.

I thought stealing someone's identity was a crime. How is he walking around Freely and taking pictures with hot chicks?😒

THAT SHOULD BE ME😭😭😭

If he is profiting off of his looks he needs to be sued by Hybe IMMEDIATELY.

HYBE SHOULD HIRE ME - If they can over look my gossipy nature and the fact they really can't trust me with any company secrets plus I'll spend all my time staring at Jikook and simping for YoonminhopeJoon🙂

Bapsae aaahhhhh 😏😏😏

To answer your question Barbara, you are not the only confused one when it comes to these labels. We all are.

A lot of people use Bi these days instead of Pan because people find the term Pansexuality confusing and offensive so....

Strange times.

Offensive because some people in the Bi community feel it's a redundant term as to them it means the same as Bisexuality. As such they feel the use of Pansexuality is erasure and invalidating of their own identity.

From what I understand of this ongoing label wars in the community, those who get offended by Pansexuality do so mostly because they do not view trans identity as a seperate unique gender in of it's own but merely as an adjective.

To such, there is no thing as cis boy or trans boy and that a boy is a boy. So being Bi to them means they are attracted to boys( cis or trans) and girls (regardless of whether they are cis or trans)- which is what Pansexuality actually is💀

Here in lies the conflict. Cis women and some people, myself included, see trans identity as a seperate gender identity from cis identity and differentiates between a biological Male or female and a trans Male or female.

As such a boy is not a boy, a boy is either cis boy or trans boy and both are valid.

This distinction is what mostly sets bisexuality from pan sexuality from my point of view.

It's disheartening. Not to mention anxiety inducing and confusing as hell when we can't even agree on basic terms to describe ourselves.

I don't know how conscious BTS are of these conversations and so I've always viewed their use of labels such as boy/girl in their lyrics with utmost fascination given as there are trans genders within their community.

I often find myself wondering what Joonie means when he talks of girls- does he mean cis girls or trans girls? Would he date either or both?

Personally, I view Trans identity as a valid, separate unique form of identity, unique from Cis identity and not just as an epithet.

I date and definitely find trans girls romantically and sexually attractive especially if there's minimum trace of their cis masculinity in them.

But I have friends who identify as lesbians but wouldn't date trans girls regardless of how they present. Yet they wouldn't mind dating a stud or Masculine presenting females as long as they are Cis girls. Talk of transphobia💀

Some girls call me Bi because I like cis and other fems and I'm perfectly fine with it. However embracing that label in Male spaces gives me a lot of headaches because they just assume I'd date any man too.

I have dated fem tops (girly girls who like to be the dominant one in relationships and also prefer to penetrate other girls during sex) who identify as lesbians but have threesomes with gay men💀

I mean as long as they get to fuck those men or penetrate/ top them or so they say and yes I've seen it happen with my two eyes- I have gay threesomes don't judge or tell my pastor😥

I'm going to hell as it is no need to compound it🤧

My ex was like that. She dated a gay guy she was topping and was gonna marry him because her family was pressuring her to get married. The dude was closeted and their relationship was convenient until he came out and lowkey outed her in the process.

When I asked her if she was bisexual she said she didn't have a label because none suited her at the time and that she likes girls regardless of how those girls identify as. So a femboi, andro, trans girls, cis girls, straight girls, gay girls, as long as you feminine she likes.

I'm a bit like that too... minus the topping fembois and gays part💀

If I had a dick it would be useless 🤣

I say all this to say, labels are a bit tricky and a lot of people struggle to find the right fit.

Gay or queer is our go to label.

For the sake of the conversation we having, I'd define being Bi as liking your own gender plus the opposite of your gender but in an exclusive way. Being Bi also means the gender of a person matters to you in your determination of what you find attractive.

However being Pan means you place less emphasis on the gender of the person you are attracted to and more emphasis on the qualities those people possess- really doesn't matter what the other person is if you like em you like em. Which means a person don't gotta be cis or trans boy or girl or other for you to like them. They just have to have a certain quality you find attractive.

Just like you said, you being a girl find gurls attractive too but I don't think you'd be willing to date a girl- cis or trans- a person has to be Male for you to date them. Right?

That exclusivity is what makes you straight. You like one gender to the exclusion of others.

Gays and lesbians like one gender, the same gender, to the exclusion of others.

Bisexuals may like multiple genders, different genders, to the exclusion of others.

Pansexuals like multiple genders but not to the exclusion of others.

If Gender is important to you in determining who a suitable romantic partner is you are either Straight or Bi. If gender is not important to your determination of who a suitable partner is then you're pansexual.

Pansexuals are gender blind🤣

If Pansexuals are bisexuals, there should be a label for the category currently viewed as bisexuals.

When Suga says " I look at personality and it's not limited to girls" I believe he's talking about the qualities he finds attractive in PEOPLE.

When he sings boy or girl my tongue technology will send you to hongkong it carries a similar sentiment. He's saying basically it doesn't matter what you identify as he can make you orgasm under his- rap?

That's pan energy to me. You go pan Suga! BAPSAE AAAHHH🤭

IF he were queer then I'd assume he's more likely to be pan not bi- hypocritically speaking.

But he is NOT QUEER.

SOPE YOONMIN AND ANYSHIP INVOLVING SUGA IS NOT REAL or even likely to be.

Since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man. This implies he believes his heart only has to throb for the opposite sex. Yea no he is definitely not bi.

Straight as an arrow this one.

He doesn't find men sexually or romantically attractive. He is not gay or bi and I don't think he wants to be.

I assume he's straight. I do.

And as a straight dude, he's certainly intriguing and I can see how certain actions of his make people queer read him especially in his dominant ships Sope and Yoonmin and Taegi.

But I don't think he goes out of his way to queer code himself.

And I see what you mean by the exaggerated speech. Rappers do trash talk, boast and talk shit in their music but they are also notoriously homophobic with the exception of a few. References of queerness in their lyrics are usually often used pejoratively to slur other rappers etc.

May be I'm too black, gay, and a woman to overlook the misogyny and homophobia that's traveled through Black American hip pop to elsewhere even if it takes on new family friendly labels such as Kpop or BTS.

I don't tend to read hiphop lyrics through non cis non straight non male lens. Unless of course it's from a queer artist but even that there's almost always something internalized.

It's fascinating how people look at a hip hop artist and glean their sexuality from their lyrics....

I'm dozing off. Will read over this tomorrow and add anything I might have missed.

GOLDY

[a-person-who-likes-musicals]

Fuck you everyone who tells me everyday I'm not a real man, I didn't chose this for attention. It's not like I chose to be who I am just to alienate my family from me. But alas here we are, at least I don't depend upon projecting my issues relating to toxic gender roles onto a adolescent who was just passing by.

1, I am not rejecting my "Femininity" by being trans. If you say that when I was little that I fed into said Femininity by liking "Girly" things, you would be wrong. First, why are we gendering things like toys and clothes? Second, my guardians bought those for me, so I had no option for self expression.

2, "you're doing this for attention." HA, no. Trust me, I would be cis if I had the choice. I love being trans and being me, but there's a special type of hurt to know how the people you know and trust's love is conditional until the truth is revealed. Also I didn't come out like how people would think, my mom looked through my phone. I did not get to say this on my terms in a way that made me feel comfortable. I remember vividly the lecture from my mother. I remember her outing me to my Dad who called me later and said that he loved me no matter what and that i can always stay with him if mom becomes too much. I remember me crying in my room, packing a bag just in case she ended up kicking me out. She didn't, but i had the genuine feeling she would. I remember going on the Trevor Projects website because I knew they were there and I needed to talk to someone because that shit stings.

3, I have a genuine inquiry.

What did I do?

What did I do to deserve the slurs, the hatred, to be ostracized? What did I deserve for my mother effectively disown me every way but legally? What did I do for the mom who used to call me her Chikadee and watched movies with me to call me a "Overdramatic, attention seeking, emotional, nerd, who is just a poser and is pretending to be a man." Why do I have to be the bigger person here. And the minute I so much as say "I am a boy", I'm called an emotional angry teen girl. But I need to be mature and graceful because my presence is tolerated only if I'm perfect in every other way to them.

4, why do you care. Let me exist, please. All I want to do is be who I am.

Sincerely

A pissed off boy,

Apollo