#IF YOU THOUGHT THIS BLOG WAS GOING TO TELL A STORY WITHOUT HEFTY DOSES OF FANFICTION

[bangers2]

Jane Remover - Census Designated (Long review)

i wrote this after reaching 100 followers on aoty. The AOTY version can be found here if u wanna read it on there.

Hey! Thank you all for your support on my reviews thus far. Bangers2 started out as an impulsive Tumblr blog where I'd post a song a day, but that got stale pretty quickly so I ended up on AOTY. And it was scary at first (I once got flamed by like 3 people for making an "I hardly know her" joke...that was nice) but I think in the past couple months I've sort of found a community over here. The album that REALLY got me into music spaces and encouraged me to start sharing my opinions / analyses was this one!

Census Designated (or Census/CD, as I'll probably refer to it throughout this review) has been pivotal to my life since before it came out. I first discovered Jane through her feature on underscores' Wallsocket (an album which I'll probably review in more detail soon), where I instantly fell in love with her vocals. I checked out the title track about a week after it dropped and thought it was so fresh. There was a unique sort of pain to the song which really resonated with me at the time, and I kept it on loop for weeks. I was so damn lonely and depressed from October to like...February, and found a lot of solace in Census, especially "Holding a Leech," my personal SOTY of 2023. For the first time in my life I tried to get mental health support, and this album made communicating my feelings and circumstances a lot easier. It gave a voice to what I'd kept buried all my life.

On the other side of all the shit I went through, I still listen to this album a lot. Sure, it takes me back to some of the worst times in my life, but the genius of the production and songwriting is undeniable. I can’t stop coming back to it, even though it breaks my heart. I truly and genuinely believe that Census Designated is a masterpiece.

Census Designated is the sophomore album by Jane Remover, an artist who got her start making electronic music (Frailty, Dariacore, etc.). However, Census is a straight-up rock album, with loud guitars and harsh walls of noise. The lyrics are just as harsh as the production, with fictional stories of abusive relationships, violence, and a lot of body horror. With that being said, despite how much I love Census, I wouldn’t recommend this album to anybody…unless they’re in the right headspace for it. If you go in expecting “Frailty 2,” you will come out with ear fatigue and a hefty dose of nightmare fuel.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. The harshness of the album - all of its jarring static and blood-curdling screaming - is balanced by incredibly catchy melodies and a lot of introspection. Jane’s vocals are really great - a huge improvement since Frailty and even the venturing tracks. She has an incredibly smooth voice, and I can tell she’s influenced by a lot of pop vocalists like Ariana. I'm a vocal technique nerd. I bet SHE's so lucky to have a voice like that.

Vocals aside, I love the instrumentations on here too! She uses the harsh noise and heavy guitars to further the turmoil in each track. They’re all explosive songs, starting out quite calm and eventually building up to a huge release towards the end. It works out really well; on songs like “Holding a Leech,” you can feel the slight numbness in her voice on the first chorus turn into loud, unimaginable desperation by the end of the song, as she chokes out “how much longer ‘till I’m truly alone?”

ALSO!! The lyrics are SO good. She's said in interviews that none of what she talks about really happened to her, they're just abstractions of feelings she had been having. I think her way of articulating these feelings is so evocative. You can't take anything here at face value, so you really have to Analyze for the lyrics to make sense. Even without reading them over and over, I feel like, for me personally, there was a clear feeling that each line evoked, and it's so cool how open ended so much of it is. My favourite lyrics are on the title track, which is fuelled with so much anger and pain that it's sort of overwhelming. Jane said the song is about the music industry and how it takes advantage of young artists. Despite not relating to that at all, I ~felt~ a lot of what she was saying, and saw myself in a lot of it.

Census Designated feels like a cautionary tale; a story of the absolute worst case scenario. Nightmare after nightmare. Boiling water being poured on hands. Jaws being broken. Cars being crashed. Desperation. Begging for forgiveness. Throwing up. Waking up feeling fine, despite it all. In the absence of the physical pain, there lies a pit in my stomach as I listen to these songs. A sense of uneasiness. A deep, unexplainable sorrow.

This album will not save your life. Not like Nurture or Sweetener or any of those albums where you come out of it feeling like everything will be okay. No, this is an album that is harrowing. So intensely horrifying, that you might start to recognize that something is wrong if you resonate with it. And there's something so important about that. I can't say that Census Designated /saved/ my life; but it did change it. And for that, it's become one of my favourite albums of all time.

...And a 10/10.

Thanks for reading. If you've ever felt like I did, I just want to say that everything will be okay, and this, too, shall pass. You will survive. You will find a way out of it. I believe in you. Keep going.

[hypnothesis-au]

A Double Act [Part 1]

It had been a long day. The finitely recorded seconds down to the decimal seemed stretched to impossible lengths, from the moment the Inkcarnival had opened that morning to now, with the sun close to setting and the evening's crowd beginning to disperse. Tartar had spent most of the morning begrudgingly humoring their bandmate to his thrill seeking and ""fun"". While the afternoon was spent wandering the amusements' layout up and down the streets of Inkopolis (to avoid him, mostly). The socially exhausted machine was more than ready to draw what they considered a waste of a day to a close. They'd rather have been working in the comforting solitude of their office. 

They had considered sneaking off to do just that in Octavio's absence, but their one pause, or more accurately many haltings, had come from who all they had encountered around the carnival. A good handful of alternates-- once again, more multi-dimensional interaction they hadn't calculated for, and once again, it had left them with a lot to process. So they stayed, wandered around some more, tried not to think of what they usually cared little for and hated themself for doing it anyways.

From what the android had heard, however, the circus was due to close for the night within the hour, and they considered it more than fair enough to begin the war of an argument with their partner that it was time to leave. Tartar could only hope he wasn't in a mood for after-hours mischief, which to their misfortune, wasn't unusual. They probably could have just left him there if he desired to cause trouble strongly enough, but then again; potentially having to bail him out of said trouble for getting caught did not sound like an ideal late-night-to-early-morning endeavor… if he got to drag them there in the first place, they could drag him home just as well.

They relocated the DJ easily enough, somewhat near where they had originally slithered away for some time to themself, and approached stoically. They'd run out of motivation to lace the usual oversaturated disdain into their tone, and inquired simply, "Have you finally wore yourself out? The carnival is closing soon, and I've been ready to go since we got here."

Octavio took in a deep breath, the evening breeze scented with fried foods wafting cool through his mask. He was returning from playing carnival games with an inkling he met earlier that day. After stashing his prize in a locker, Octavio had left to search for his partner. “Sure thing, T. I’m ready ta go.” He paused, feeling the AI relax slightly. “But-” He added quickly,  “After we do one more thing.” He pointed towards a glimmering ring in the distance, looming above most of the other attractions. “We gotta ride the ferris wheel.”

The gathering dusk allowed the carnival its full splendor, rides twinkled festively, lights flickering in patterns and arcs along steel supports. His request certainly wasn't as severe as they had worried it might be, though they still weren't thrilled to participate. Octavio would take no kind of denial as an answer-- even a solid, “I'll wait for you at the bottom.” On their part was met with an even more insistent, “You have to come with me.” 

Perhaps, when they asked why, it didn't sound genuine enough to warrant his explanation; for he simply dragged them off for the umpteenth time that day without giving one. Worn down from the morning's bout of stubbornness, and distracted by the afternoon's reflection, they put up very little fight.

Once boarded upon the ferris wheel, the attraction in question began its slow rotation, sending the two drifting into the air-- and Tartar finally received their excuse; "You never haveta do it again." Octavio assured his partner, "But ya gotta ride a ferris wheel at least once 'n ya lifetime."

They exhaled at this, having already spun around the same conversation with him countless times earlier that day and unsure how they could word it yet again: machines are not people, they don't need fun, I am not entertained by this. 

But the point seemed to be lost on the Octarian, he appeared convinced they'd find some attraction or another in the carnival that would pique their interest. They'd only managed to become more confused as the day progressed, clearly being amused by none. But he hadn't relented even after this fact became apparent. Why was that?

"I scarcely find myself applicable to the concept." Was their response after a long enough pause, moving to prop their arm under their chin and lean slightly over the side of the ferris wheel's booth. The android stared out to the sky, towards the receding blacktop beneath them, anywhere but at their bandmate. Maybe he'd stay quiet and they could pretend he wasn't there.

They still felt the urge to ask the questions that had been on their mind all afternoon, their inability to create a solid analysis of the point of it all was building an insufferable pressure on their processors. It certainly wasn't a conversation they wanted to get into here of all places, let alone discuss it at all-- sitting next to their confrontational companion without an exit was the least enticing situation to question why they were spending time on this in the first place.

They stressfully ran a thumb over their artificial eyebrow, resting it above the outer edge to hold down the twitch that had developed from a fluctuating magnetic field. They knew they needed to calm down, but, feeling helpless to their current position did very little to ease them-- they inhaled deeply, internal fans purring audibly with the strain of keeping their core at a safe temperature. 

After getting far enough up in the air, people milling about on the ground below looked small. Distant. The amount of space it illusioned was moderately calming to the reclusive AI, the brief comfort of solitude perhaps just enough to get them through the simplistic but ever-dragging action of a ferris wheel ride. Allowing themself to relax somewhat, closing their eyes and burying their forehead into their palm, the most pressing question on their mainframe passed their vocal hardware before they could silence it, "Why did you bring me here…?"

Only after their own voice passed their ears did they remember, Octavio was still in fact sitting right next to them, and they were not speaking to the air. . . . A flit of static choked their quiet expression after the first letter, a habit that had become an apparent censorship of one swear or another. They hoped he would ignore their question, "Nevermind."

Unblinking, he answered sardonically, “Because. You need to get outta the apartment once in a while, or ya joints will rust together.” He clicked his tongue. ‘For all ya artificial divinity, you sure can be thick.’ “I want you to be happy--” The words escaped prematurely and he lurched forward a fraction of an inch as if to catch them back.

Despite having over 100 years of experience in politics, he still hated lying.

He was tired of faking the part of the indifferent band member, pretending that Tartar’s insults never found their mark. Together they ran but not in unison, parallel lines that would never touch. Anger swept through his body, but he kept his eyes level, lazy. He cooly undid his facemask from around his ears, crushed the fabric into a ball in his fist and with all the strength in his arm, threw it as far away from the carriage as he could manage.

Tartar uttered a rueful laugh at his reply, of course he replied, and watched just out of range of their optic as he angrily, but calmly, threw away his mask. They found it foolish, but said nothing; he would inevitably need it again by the end of the night. They refused to follow his gesture. Octavio settled back into his seat, turned away from them and resuming his observance of the shrinking landscape. His eyes flecked with color from the strobing bulbs that rose up on either side of the ferris wheel.

Perhaps, if they had a little more self control, they'd have left the exchange at that. Yet, they still wanted to know why, why Octavio cared so much about the way they reacted to these attractions, why he kept bothering to try. They weren't sure how to ask anymore, each answer was more confusing than the last.  "I have no reason to currently emulate 'happiness', you know. Not while this world continues to sleep, breathe, live in it's own filth every day." They processed as they spoke, yet again making some appeal that he might finally understand the reasoning of a machine, "Petty amusements like these are just distractions from my purpose for existing. They hold no value to me-- they're not supposed to."

The AI looked back to the ground, still wholly unmotivated to look their partner in the eye as they continued without restraint, "My motivation belongs only to cleansing this poor excuse of a sentient species as soon as possible. And you. You're upset that my resolve doesn't meet your expectations of how I should behave, then? Is that it?"

Expressions melted into each other, first Octavio pursed his mouth in a grimace, then pulled his lips tight over uneven fangs, his head still turned away. He finally settled back into a placid scowl. 

"No--!" He cried sullenly, "I don't want ya ta be someone you’re not." He gnawed at the knuckle of his forefinger, one of his nervous habits.

Another bout of silence as the wheel climbed, stopping at intervals to let people on or off the carriages. "I'm sorry." He murmured finally, turning towards them, "I didn't mean to try and... Well, T, if I may, that's a bunch of bull. Squit. I know ya can be happy. Talkin about humans makes ya happy, listenin to retro. Shell, cleaning makes ya happy. I guess, I just can't tell what's you and what's…" he pointed to the black speck of his mask on the pavement below, "A front, a mask, 'ye old silicone imitation.'" Octavio leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands over his face. His eyes were glassy with surfacing emotion. "Cod knows I want the inks gone as much as you. But it's not a waste to enjoy tha time you got, ‘specially after a hard day's work." He wondered if the beauty of the dusk had seized him, or if it was the security of knowing they had no other choice but to listen to him that made him so bold.

"What I want, is for you to realize there's more to life than obsessin' over a goal or a dream. You think you'll only find happiness when you get this or that, but it's a lie, T. Your life is now, however artificial you insist it is. You have a s--" he stopped himself, not willing to argue on the philosophical. He bowed his head and laced his fingers together over his knees "I know this cause I've lived it."

"You know?" They repeated him, their tone floating with a sarcastic awe, "You don't k n o w anything about me, be honest-- We are two entirely different kinds of creatures. I am aware organics like you need rest and distractions to relieve yourselves, but I do not operate on the same necessity."

Tartar's eyes searched the ground fervently as they suppressed the urge to squirm in their seat. Though everything Octavio had claimed about their nature could only be assumptions, it was more accurate than they cared to acknowledge. Did he really think they were so transparent? He couldn't possibly have a clue, they kept their personality under calculated restriction at all times-- at least, they felt sure they did.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" They finally blurted, turning fully to face him with a stern expression, "I do everything in my ability to hold up my end of our agreement, which should be your only concern towards me. Why are you bothered with anything else? With how I f e e l ?"

Afraid that continuing on the defensive side of the debate would inevitability expose information they strained to keep hidden away, they instead posed him a more burning question about his continued insistence that they must be able to enjoy the situation they were currently in, somehow. Why would he care? At the current moment, they felt quite the opposite of enjoyment of the ferris wheel, and especially the conversation at hand. Their only solace was in the recognition that their cart of the ferris wheel had finally crawled its way to the peak of the mechanical circle. Soon enough, they'd be descending, and Tartar could finally get away from both the physical and metaphorical ride they had been forced onto-- regardless of whatever conclusion Octavio was attempting to reach with them.

Wild fervor rose, red-hot in his throat, but the Octarian kept the fire subdued until they had finished. He gave himself a few moments to calm the desire to throttle some sense into them.

“Why shouldn’t it matter to me.” The question was a whisper, his eyes locked with their optics. “Would it surprise you—” a pause, “Would it shock ya to know sometimes I forget you’re a robot.” His voice rose slightly, indignation and passion beginning to color his face. “Why d’ya get so offended when I try ta treat ya with respect, when I extend ya common decency. Answer this T, why can’tcha wrap your head around the idea that I want to get to know you. Frill the Cod clam contract.”

The AI exhaled with a glitch-like halt, holding Octavio's stare with increasing difficulty as his expression began to speak more for him than words ever could. An error code appeared for a malfunctioning swirl of ink within their core-- a feeling they couldn't place, refused to, shoved back into its rhythmic flow through their systems.

Octavio curled his bottom lip under his teeth, “S’ much as I would like ta be a heartless bastard, I can’t help but be bothered with how ya feel.” With a shaky exhale he leaned his head over the back of the chair, staring blankly up at the darkening sky. They had finally reached the apex of the ride when it halted again, doubtless to allow more passengers off. Through his raging thoughts, Octavio noted that the ferris wheel’s turbo bulbs flickered out of sync.

>Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[phantomofthepairofdice]

Double Features 2: Splatter, Splicer, Slander, Slasher

Considering the fact that we’re locked down and most folks aren’t going out much, why not settle in on a weekend with double feature. As part of a series of articles, I’ve decided to suggest some titles that would make for an interesting pair. It’s a time commitment like binging a few episodes of a TV show, and hopefully these double features are linked in interesting enough ways that it has a similar sense of cohesion. They also can be watched on separate occasions, but the lesser the distance between them, the more the similarities show. Do it however you want, really. I’m merely a guy on the internet, and that qualifies me for absolutely nothing! Enjoy at your own risk.

This template is back! I wanted to suggest a few more double features, but this time keep them in a specific genre: horror. I love horror movies, and I realized that I hadn’t really given them their due on this here blog, so I wanted to remedy that by showing a lot of love across a lot of different movies. I’ve put together some international movies, some classics, some that are silly, some that are serious, and even a bonus suggestion hidden in one of these blurbs. So without any more ramble in the preamble, here are four new suggested double features.

Note: The pairs are listed in the order I think best serves them being seen.

Hausu & Evil Dead II:

Hausu aka House (not to be confused with 1985 American horror film of the same name) has sort of transcended cult movie status to become a staple of off-center horror-comedy. Directed by recently deceased Nobuhiko Obayashi, the film shows his roots in advertisements with every shot designed for maximum effect, a (still) cutting edge approach in the edit, and a joyous, playful approach to special effects. It’s a gauzy and dreamy romp about a group of schoolgirls who head to the countryside on vacation. While staying at one of their aunts’ house, the supernatural hauntings begin, and heads start to roll (as well as bite people on the butt). It’s the type of movie where the main cast of characters are named Gorgeous, Kung Fu, Melody, Prof, Mac, Sweet, and Fantasy and they each have corresponding character traits. I was lucky enough to catch this at a rep screening at the Museum of Fine Arts a few years ago (further proof that this has gone beyond the cult curio status), and this is absolutely a movie that benefits from having a crowd cheer and laugh along - but it’s fairly easy to find and still has lots of pleasures to be enjoyed on solo watch. I’m pretty much willing to guarantee that if you enjoy it on first watch, you’ll want to share it with others. Now, where does one start when talking about Evil Dead II? Sam Raimi is rightfully as well known for his start in the hair-brained splatter genre fare as he is for his genre-defining Spider-man films. The influence of the Evil Dead movies is nearly unquantifiable, apparent in the work of directors like Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino, and the Korean New Wave filmmakers like Bong Joon-ho and Park Chan-wook. There’s a reason that the second film of his Evil Dead odyssey is the one that people hold in highest esteem, though. There is an overwhelming gleeful creativity, anything goes, Looney Tunes approach to it that makes the blood geysers, laughing moose heads, and chainsaw hands extend beyond gore and shock into pleasure. It’s been noted over and over by critics and Raimi himself that the Three Stooges are probably the biggest influence on the film, and by golly, it shows. Evil Dead II and Hausu are pure in a way that few other movies can be. Both of these movies are an absolute delight of knowing camp, innovative special effects, and a general attitude of excitement from the filmmakers permeating through every frame. They’re a total blast and, in my mind, stand as the standard-bearers for horror-comedy and haunted house movies.

Total Runtime: 88 minutes + 84 minutes = 172 minutes aka 2 hours and 52 minutes

The Thing (1982) & The Fly (1986):

Feel free to roll your eyes as I explain the plots of two very famous movies. The Thing is John Carpenter’s body horror reimagining of Howard Hawks’ The Thing from Another World and the story that was adapted from, “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell Jr. The film is centered around a group of men in an arctic outpost who welcome in a cosmic force of shape-shifting annihilation. What ensues is a terrifically scary, nihilistic, paranoid attempt to find who isn’t who they say they are before everyone is replaced with the alien’s version of them. The film is a masterpiece of tone in no small part due to Dean Cundey’s photography and Ennio Morricone’s uncharacteristically restrained score. The real showstopper here, though, is the creature effects designed by Rob Bottin with an assist from Stan Winston – two titans of their industry. There may not be a more mind-blowing practical effects sequence in all of movies than Norris’ defibrillation – which I won’t dare spoil for anyone who hasn’t seen it. The story is so much about human nature and behaviors, that it’s good news that the cast is all top-notch – anchored by Kurt Russell, Keith David, and Wilford Brimley. While The Thing is shocking and certainly not for anyone opposed to viscera, David Cronenberg’s The Fly is the best example of a movie not to watch while eating. Quite frankly, it’s got some of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen on film. Chris Walas and Stephen Dupuis’ makeup effects are shocking, but the terror is amplified because this builds such a strong foundation of romance in its opening stretch between Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis in what might be their career-best work. The story is simple: a scientist creates a teleportation device that he tries out himself, but unknowingly does so with a fly in the chamber with him. When he reatomizes on the other end, his DNA has been integrated with the fly. Slowly his body begins to deteriorate, and he transforms into a human-fly hybrid. While this is first and foremost a science-fiction horror film, it’s truly one of the most potent love stories at its center. The tragedy is that the love, like the flesh, is mutated and disintegrated by the hubris of Goldblum’s Seth Brundle. Here are two remakes that – clutch your pearls – outdo the original. They both serve as great examples of what a great artist can bring by reinterpreting the source material to tell their version of that story. The critical respect for Carpenter and Cronenberg is undeniable now, but both of these movies make the case that there are real artists working with allegory and stunning craft in less respected genre fare. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to transpose the thematic weight of the then-new AIDS crisis onto both films, but they both have a hefty anti-authority streak running through them in a time where American Exceptionalism was at an all-time high. If you want to get a real roll going, fire up the ’78 Invasion of the Body Snatchers first to get a triple dose of auteur remakes that reflect the social anxieties of the time and chart from generalized anxiety to individualistic dread to romantic fatalism.

Total Runtime: 109 minutes + 96 minutes = 205 minutes aka 3 hours and 25 minutes

Theatre of Blood & The Abominable Dr. Phibes

That old Klingon proverb that Khan tells Kirk about revenge being a dish best served cold is challenged by these two Vincent Price tales of the macabre. They posit that revenge is best served in extremely convoluted and thematically appropriate predecessors to the Saw franchise. Where Saw trades in shock and extremity, though, these classic horror tales offer an air of panache and self-satisfied literacy. In Theatre of Blood, Price plays a disgraced and thought-dead stage actor who gets revenge on the critics who gave him negative reviews with Shakespeare-themed murder. There’s good fun in seeing how inventive the vengeful killings are (and in some cases how far the writers bend over backwards to explain and make sense of them). It’s a little rumpled and ragged in moments, but Price is, of course, a tremendous pleasure to see in action as he chews through the Shakespeare monologues. Imagine the Queen’s corgis with a chainsaw and you’re on track. Phibes came first and, frankly, is the better of the two. The story is about a musician who seeks to kill the doctors who he believes were responsible for his wife’s death during a botched surgery. The elaborate angle he takes here is to inflict the ten plagues from the Old Testament. I hesitate to use a word that will probably make me come across as an over-eager schmuck, but it really feels best described as phantasmagorical. It’s got this bright, art deco, pop art sensibility to it that’s intoxicating. It also has a terrifically dark sense of drollery - it knows that you can see the strings on the bat as it flies toward the camera. Aesthetically, it feels adjacent to the ’66 Batman show. The music is great and the indelible image of his tinker toy robot band, The Clockwork Wizards, is a personal obsession of mine. Both Theatre of Blood and The Abominable Dr. Phibes feature great supporting turns from Diana Rigg and Joseph Cotton, respectively. Settle in for a devilishly good time and enjoy one of cinema’s greatest vicarious pleasures: getting back at those of criticized or hurt you.

Total Runtime: 104 minutes + 94 minutes = 198 minutes aka 3 hours and 18 minutes

Blood and Black Lace  & The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

The final pairing comes from beyond American borders and, to some, beyond the borders of good taste. Mario Bava and Dario Argento are likely the two biggest names in Italian horror, and that’s for very good reason. Bava, who started as a cinematographer, has made loads of movies (even the film which gave Ozzy Osbourne and crew the name their band name) that have tremendous visuals and terrific sense of mood. Argento, probably most famous now for Suspiria, emerged onto the Italian film scene a handful of years later and picked up that baton from Bava to crystallize the dreamy logic puzzles cloaked in hyper-saturated colors. These two films are regarded as quintessential in the giallo genre – named for the yellow covers of the pulp crime fictions that inspired them. As someone who loves the flair that can be applied to make a slasher film stand out amongst their formulaic brethren, I found that the giallo made for a smooth transition into international horror. Blood and Black Lace is a murder mystery that’s as tawdry and titillating as its title suggests. Set in an insular world of a fashion house in Rome, models are being murdered. The plot feels like a necessity in order to create a delivery system for the stunning set pieces that revolve around a secret diary. Bava puts sex right next to violence and cranks up the saturation to create something thrillingly lurid. Six years later, Argento made his first film which has often been credited for popularizing the giallo genre and already is playing around with some of his pet themes like voyeurism and reinterpretation. Built around an early set piece (that stacks up as one of the best in thrillers) in which a man is trapped but witnesses a murder, the film sees said man trying to find the piece of evidence that will make the traumatic killing make sense. Like Bava, it blends sex and violence with tons of flair, including a score by the aforementioned Ennio Morricone. The film is absolutely on a continuum between Hitchcock and De Palma. If you’re looking for a pair of exciting horror/thrillers, or even an entry point to foreign genre cinema, this is an accessible and enjoyable place to start.

88 minutes + 96 minutes = 184 minutes aka 3 hours and 4 minutes

Well, there you have it. Eight movies, and hours of entertainment curated by some guy with no real qualifications. If you’re interested in some more suggestions (in horror and other genres), stay tuned for the next entry in this Double Features series. And if you’re looking for a way to watch these movies, I highly recommend the app/website JustWatch where you can search a title and see where it’s available for streaming or rental. Happy viewing.

Thanks for reading.

[fran-is-a-writer]

Hello folks and welcome to another blog post by A Healthy Dose of Fran, today I post my Top 10 Movie Musicals (Disney excluded as that’ll have its own segment). Now you may not agree with my list, and that’s OK, we can debate in the comments later. So, let’s get down to business then, shall we?

10. Girl Trash: All Night Long

If you haven’t heard of this, then you probably aren’t a lesbian or bisexual woman. And if you are a lesbian or bisexual woman who hasn’t, you are missing out! The first outright lesbian musical, with lesbians as the focus, the songs about lesbianism, and, even better, starring the queens of South of Nowhere, Mandy Musgrave (Ashley) and Gabrielle Christian (Spencer), and a few other notable lesbian character stars. This movie is kick ass and the music is hilarious, if a little cringy, but you can’t help but sing along as they say, “don’t shit on my dreams it’s just my fantasy, of what could possibly be”. This is a movie that should be seen.

After finishing this post of course.

9. Chicago

Have you committed a crime? Well you should have this performance tucked up your sleeve to get away with it, because surely, HE HAD IT COMING, HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME. Now If that doesn’t give you confidence, then any number of the tunes in this hit will, want some Jazz, well how about All That Jazz? Following the murderess tales of multiple women, but focusing on the dastardliness two, this film takes many twists and turns that ends with murderers on- ah, spoilers.

8. All Dogs Go to Heaven

Charlie B. Barkin – that name alone deserves a place on this list. Add in a surprisingly dark family film musical with gang war, murder plots, and the ideas of heaven and hell, a heart-warming tale about a young girl who wants a family and a dog who wants revenge but ends up changing for her – this film never fails to make me cry. With some awesome bops like ‘You Can’t Keep a Good Dog Down’ this is definitely a musical to see.

7. Bride and Prejudice

No life without wife? Damn woman you know how to break my heart. Well, this may be a surprising edition to this list as, more often or not, this film is forgotten, even though it is, in my opinion, the best Jane Austen adaption ever. And the tunes? Incredible. My first experience of a Bollywood film (which, considering it was made in conjunction with a UK studio, probably doesn’t count), and it was the first of many (thanks also to discussions about it with my best friend). Check out the soundtrack first if the film doesn’t sound interesting, but trust me, unlike most period-adaptions, this one is one to remember!

6. Hairspray

60s beats, 60s attitude, 60s hair and look, but a modern opinion. That’s Hairspray in a nutshell. A film (that was originally a stage production) that tells the tale of Tracey, a slightly hefty girl who loves to dance and tries out for the happening TV show for kids and gets on! But hey modernist views of happily conversing and dancing with blacks (shock horror!) and her non-conventional body shape, get her in trouble, not that she gives a damn, she’s proud and damn right she should be! Not to mention she can belt a bloody tune too, and this film is full of them! Cause WITHOUT LOVE, this movie wouldn’t have caught my attention – (but that may also be due to Zac Efron).

5. Burlesque

Christina Aguilera? Cher? STANLEY TUCCI! Sign me the F up! Oh God and Kristen Bell? Burlesquing? And Singing? Y’all trying to kill me??!!! Well you succeeded! I’m dead. This fantastic story not only grasped my attention, but the music added to the drama and was threaded in so nicely that I couldn’t not watch again and again. Downloading the soundtrack after the first watch, I go back to this musical at least once a year. With one song in at least every one of my playlists, it’s going to show me how to Burlesque.

4. Dreamgirls

If I thought Burlesque was star studded and a gem of a film that was nothing until I saw Dreamgirls starring Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphey and so many more. Set in the 60s and the eras to follow, we follow the lives of black musicians and their dreams, particularly the Dreamettes who take the music world by storm. Dark tales are alongside this tale including blackmail, drug abuse, and so forth. But not only that, we received the most beautiful tunes known including Listen sung by Queen B and I Am Telling You sung by Jennifer Hudson. This musical is a gem to be remembered, with the mesmerising story to go alongside it.

3. Anastasia

Yooo, surprised to see this? Well it’s not a Disney film if that helps the confusion, but with its Princess Anastasia, its animation style, and plot line of lost princess finding her family, you can see where people get confused. But this tale is one of my ultimate favourites – with the original badass Princess who doesn’t take nothing from know one and will happily punch you in the face, you know the story is going to be interesting. Add is some brilliant tunes like ‘Journey to the Past’ and ‘Learn to Do It’ and you have a hit, and now a Broadway musical – that’s why this is on my list.

2. Quest for Camelot

Anything with Celine Dion is recipe for success. But add in King Arthur, bad ass female characters, and a twist on the English Legend. Add in beautiful music and probably the best love story ever written, oh and a two headed dragon with conflicting personalities, and you have a recipe for AWESOMENESS. This musical was my childhood and continues to fill my days with joy as I watch the film on a regular basis (and yes Sister, I only bought it for you for Christmas for me, you have been duped). Adventure, love, mystery, and music – what’s not to love?

1. Prince of Egypt

Now, are y’all surprised? If you are, YOU ARE AN UNCULTURED SWINE (I say with love)! This is, the best musical of all time. Compelling story, the greatest soundtrack ever created, with breathtaking animation to boot – oh, and a brilliant meme maker too. Telling the story of Moses from the bible, we start with the most emotive opening song ‘Deliver Us’ and, you know things are going to be great when a movie goes as far as to use the original Hebrew language within a song as they tell the story of persecution with the visuals of it alongside. The story is dramatic, emotional, and a true learning experience – if you haven’t seen this film before, you need to.

Thank you guys so much for reading this post. What are your top non-disney musicals? What would you have added? Leave a comment!

If you aren’t already, be sure to follow my website for updates on new blogs and videos. Also, if you want to see more content from me, follow this link to my YouTube Chanel A Healthy Dose of Fran and hit subscribe! Be sire to also follow my instagram.

Till next time folks!

Top 10 Movie Musicals Hello folks and welcome to another blog post by A Healthy Dose of Fran, today I post my Top 10 Movie Musicals (Disney excluded as that'll have its own segment).

[attract-mode-collective]

Review: Fabricated City

I’ve been living in New York City for over two decades now, and each passing year (more like each passing month, or week, or hour, or minute) I ask myself why in hell do I bother sticking around? But then comes summer time, aka the best time, cuz it’s Asian movie time. Otherwise known as the New York Asian Film Festival!

Seriously, if there’s one thing that the Big Apple can continue to lay claim towards, and proudly, it’s how there’s absolutely no better place on earth to be if you’re a cinephile, with the NYAFF as the undisputed number 1 reason for 16 years now. Though why am I mentioning all this, on a video game blog? Well, that’s because…

This year features a film that’s video game related! Obviously. It’s been a while, ever since the 2012 edition brought us the live-action adaptation of Ace Attorney, and before that, there were the live-action adaptations of both The Onechanbara and Yakuza in 2008. Though this year’s Fabricated City has much more in common with something I saw all way back in 2003, Resurrection of the Little Match Girl.

Because Fabricated City is not based on a game but an original story (if you can call it that) and also hails from South Korea. It’s by director Park Kwang-hyun, his first film since 2005’s Welcome to Dongmakgol, which long-time goers of the NYAFF still fondly remember (like myself). Going in, expectations were high, especially after reading one reviewer describe it as: “an updated version of Park Chan-wook's Oldboy set in the world of online video games.”

Well, ummm…

Fabricated City stars Kwon Yu (portrayed by Ji Chang-wook), who is the captain of a squad of online gamers (hence his nickname, Captain). They all play a first person shooter that strongly resembles Call of Duty, so much so that the film opens up with the team in the middle of a fracas that basically mirrors that Super Bowl ad for Modern Warfare 3 from years back. The rest of the team is quite capable, with each member specializing in a skill of some kind, be it sharpshooting or demolitions. Except for Mr. Hairy, who is considerably less than equipped and in fact is perpetually frightened of all the gunfire.

So two minutes in and I’m already confused. I’m assuming anyone else would be too, unless he or she was completely unaware of the visual cues that what we’re watching is a realistic depiction of a scene in a video game (or is completely unaware of the film’s plot beforehand). Cuz why would someone be acting all scared like this? It’s not like whomever is playing a scary video game. True, often you have to forget about what you know about a movie beforehand while watching, to go with flow, but in this instance... it’s just confusing.

After a scoring a victory, despite the fact that the Captain was killed in the line of fire, due to saving Mr. Hairy’s hairy ass, we cut to reality… Inside an internet cafe is where the real Kwon Yu spends all his time, playing video games and not looking for a job. Which drives his single mother up the wall. We also find out that the Captain is a mystery to his teammates and he subsequently has never met them in IRL.

A phone rings next to his booth and Kwon Yu answers; it’s the owner, who left it behind, and she asks him to return it back to her. At first he doesn’t want to bother, but the hefty reward is too much to pass on. So he drops it off at the woman’s apartment, with zero fuss or muss. But when she ends up raped and murdered, guess who’s the suspect? The Captain becomes public enemy number oneand is sentenced to life in jail without parole (thanks in part to the seemingly gutless public defender’s halfhearted defense).

Not surprisingly, the Captain immediately becomes the target of the big dog of the yard and his posse, who savagely beats our hero into submission, or so that’s his plan. But Kwon Yu fights back, despite being outnumbered, largely due to the fact that he knows how to handle himself (as a former taekwondo star before being kicked off the team for aggressive tendencies). Though the primary source of his resolve is mom, who tells her son that she’s trying her best to get him outta there. But when she unexpected commits suicide, all hope seems lost. Until Kwon Yu is befriended by the single person that no one messes with in jail; a cannibal serial killer who takes a liking to the young man that has guts enough to stand up the big bully.

Alas, their friendship only lasts long enough for Kwon Yu to make his escape. As a fugitive, the Captain discovers that he truly is enemy number one, though there’s one lone voice out there, trying to prove to the world that the evidence simply doesn’t add up: it’s Mr. Hairy! Captain eventually meets up with his teammate, who turns out to be a super cute girl. Gee, what a surprise. As well as a super shy girl; Hairy can only communicate with Captain on the phone… even if they’re in the same room.

It’s worth mentioning how, at this point, I was more than a little disappointed in Fabricated City; there was hardly any video game to this video game movie, which itself was pretty bland and predictable. I honestly would have shut it off, if not for the acting chops the star, Ji Chang-wook, who does his best to add in as much heart and soul into such a one dimensional character that the film will allow. Though things started to pick up (or so I thought) when the rest of the team shows up. Again, as expected, their real world selves betray their video avatars: one’s a sorta young dude, another is kind of middle aged, and the third is practically a grandpa. No one seems like the typical gamer-type, which is neat I guess.

There’s actually seven squad members, but the other two are porn stars who are simply too busy to show up. Anyhow, the remaining five go on a mission to clear the Captain’s name, and along the way they discover the existence of an organization that covers up heinous behavior of the rich and powerful, by framing innocent individuals (like, you know, Kwon Yu). Naturally the inept public defender is the evil architect of it all, whose super fancy desk is basically the 21st century version of the one Dillinger uses to communicate with the MCP in Tron. And is there an attempt to haxxor said desk? You bet there is!

Easily my biggest issue with the film is its overuse of movie magic. Two minutes into the proceedings, one gets the feeling that the director is perhaps unfamiliar with video games, which is already an issue. Yet the logic flaw that I described above, at the very least, helped to establish character, and the dichotomy between the Mr Hairy we see at the very beginning and the real person that is revealed is at least somewhat entertaining. Whereas when the good guys create drones to spy on the bad guys, which are conveniently able to listen to conversations through walls, cuz they can all do that you see… it would appear that Park Kwang-hyun also has a less than firm grasp of technology. The example given is just one of several transparent attempts at covering up plot holes, which gets super dumb, super fast.

Towards the end, the Captain exhibits all sorts of extraordinary abilities. Being able handle himself in a fight makes sense, it’s established that he knows how to punch and kick. But his death defying driving skills? While it would have been super cliched to connect it to time spent with driving video games, at least that would have been some other connection to video games that I was craving for. So, as a video game movie, Fabricated City is a disappointment and certainly not the new Resurrection of the Little Match Girl I’ve been craving. While hardly perfect, it at least had plenty of attempts at connecting video games with the real world, as goofy as they were. Like how God was a French guy who runs an arcade in heaven. Fabricated City is just not nearly as interesting.

Though simply taken for what it aims to be, an action crime drama, it fails in that too. Largely due to the aforementioned overuse of technology to get the Captain and his team out of hot water, time and time and again. It’s perhaps unfair or flat out foolish to state the following, since there’s only one previous film to his credit, but Fabricated City feels like a movie by a director trying to do something totally different. And the result is either a refreshing take on a genre or a total mess, cuz the director doesn’t realize that he’s actually doing what has been done before, yet not as well. Still, Ji Chang-wook’s performance is fairly engaging, so if you want to tell people that you saw one of his earlier work when he inevitably becomes the talk of Hollywood, you’ll have that chance on July 15, at 3:00PM.

In the end, Fabricated City is legit the rare dud in an otherwise phenomenal line-up for this year’s NYAFF. May I suggest instead a Filipino take on American teen romance flicks, with a heavy dose of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? To learn more about that one, simply head on over to my personal blog, which used to be mostly about video games but is now mostly about Asian movies as a whole. Though I’m not done talking about video game movies. In fact, I’ve got another review in the wings, either next week or the next…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.