#ID LIKE TO THANK MY PARENTS AND MY ARTHRITIS THERAPIST

[dreamystarcroc]

I AM THE SWEATIEST TRY HARD TO SPLATOON

TEAM PAST WINS BY A LANDSLIDE

SORRY LESBIANS, DADDY WAS SWINGING HIS BRUSH TOO HARD

SPLATOON 4 WITH SCENE OUTFITS OR SPLATOON 4 WITH YAOI PLEASE

[weekendfriend-blog]

Life Story

So I really haven't gotten this whole story straight because I was really high when I realized why I'm the way I am. Now I know a lot of people rn are depressed and shit and are going to read this and just say, "Oh boo hoo, that's tragic," but just because people aren't depressed doesn't mean they're not fucked up. Now to start, I'm a male aged 17 with 3 older brothers. This summer was a real eye-opener. I often hear people say "When you're high,  you start putting two and two together," or something like that. Now I never really meant the meaning of this, like, when I smoke I just sit on the couch slowly drifting off while on Instagram or Ifunny or some shit. But the last time I smoked, I was already thinking of my life and why I'm like this. At age 5, my parents got divorced. Now I remember I cried like a bitch but I didn't know what them getting divorced meant. The next year, I realized i got two birthdays and two Christmas's. "WOW, is this gonna happen every year," I remember thinking, and so honestly I was fine with them splitting up because, well, we were a wealthy family (mostly my father bc my mom was a self-employed massage therapist) and I got as many shit as I wanted. This happened for about 10 years, and I finally found out why my parents hated each other and how my dad got rich and the family affairs going on in my family (ill get to that). Fast forward a couple years, my brothers got a bit hostile because of this. My two brothers closest to my age, 2 and 4 years older than me, started picking on me and shit and I was defenseless. Because of this, I got anger issues and didn't want to go outside and play football with them and so they bullied me more and so on. So I sat inside and played Xbox and at the time I lost all my allergies (i was gluten-free, lactose intolerant, couldn't have eggs and coconut. I am still deathly allergic to literally every nut ). SO all at once, I started eating these amazing foods while playing on the Xbox and started gaining weight. I was 10 so it really wouldn't matter bc I was cute. But in middle school I still was gaining weight, I think I maxed out at 250 when I was about 14 and I was about 5 foot 7. Obviously, I got insecure and shit but I was always that funny friend so no one really pointed it out bc I self depreciated. But what really made me fucked was that my brothers would compare themselves to me and call me fat to be funny to their friends. My stepdad also said I was fat, which, if you have a father figure not supporting or helping you, really messes you up so I would never talk to him. Although they made fun of me, I still wanted to hang out with them bc they looked up to them. So in short, all the people I looked up to bullied me. High school rolls around and I had a crush and asked her out. At this point, I was 240 and about 6 foot and I really knew how to hid it. I got rejected. That shit hurt. My freshman year, I was surrounded by popular "friends" that also made fun of me and put fuckin peanuts in my water so id have to go to the nurse every week (if i didn't get medicine within like 10 hours id go into cardiac arrest or something) so I got a new set of friends.  Sophomore year I had my eyes on two other candidates and got rejected again. Still fuckin hurts. 2 years ago my brothers have moved out and they grew up and realized that what they did was terrible, so what did they do? They let me smoke with them. Fast forward to my junior year. I was in pretty hard classes and got a little anxious because of homework and shit but did fine in classes so I didn't really have anxiety. Now I'm still hooked on this one girl I got rejected by but I'm the funny friend so I kept my sadness without showing it for 2 years and tell jokes, which took a toll on me. Exams hit and my usually childish middle-aged pre calc honors teacher (she taught us like 1st graders, she made us sing and dance to remember formulas) got really pissed at me bc I couldn't remember how to do basic algebra two days before the exam. Now I don't really know how I got Adderal but I did. It was super useful for my exams and ended up getting a 96 (highest grade in the school for that class) on the hardest exam. I then realized that I took 30mg for 3 days straight and only ate once a day for that week and had a bunch of energy. I quickly realized this is the key for my lazy ass to lose weight without working out. Starving myself. I then took 30mg over the summer every time I had the urge to stuff my face (took about 5 days for me to eat like my normal self) but I knew the only way to be healthy at the same time is to eat healthily, so I drank a smoothie for lunch (made myself wake up at around 11 so I wouldn't eat breakfast) and ate at work around 8. I work at a pizza place but I found a pretty good pizza to make so that I wouldn't feel like shit. At the same time, at the beginning of the summer, I got a dab pen. Then one of my friends who gave me addys gave me an oxycodone pill. It was fuckin great for my insecurities. I looked through the medicine cabinets and underneath my moms sink to find some. Amazingly I did because my mom got arthritis in her shoulder a couple of years ago, so I took one of those every day and smoked until I ran out like 2 weeks in, which thank god because after that I had hard withdrawals even when I didn't have that many for that long. Although, I still smoked every day. If I took them for maybe 2 more weeks, I would've been fucked. Shortly after that, I couldn't get my hands on Adderall but since I took them for about 2 months my stomach decreased in size A LOT. But I still wanted to lose more weight, I wanted to get under 200, so I would put myself in situations where I couldn't eat or didn't have time. Two weeks ago I realized that I would lose weight but wouldn't workout throughout the summer. I came to the realization that I was not only losing fat but muscle as well. When I was a kid, I had broad shoulders and pretty muscular from fighting. So I started working out and drinking smoothies with good workout shit in it, but the problem with that is that I still want to be under 200. I'm currently 208, working out mostly once a day, sometimes twice. I've weighed my self about 2 times a week and been 208 ever since I started working out. I've lost about 30 pounds and honestly don't regret the way I did it even it's probably terrible for me to do that. I lost some fat in my face so my cheeks and chin look more defined making me look better as well as losing a lot of fat in my stomach and chest that none of my shirts fit me and my chest doesn't poke out in XL shirts (they did when I was in 2XL shirts). Overall I've lost all my insecurities about being fat and am currently talking to a cute girl that's 2 years older than me. Since I've lost 30 pounds I've seen some of my friends from school who didn't know I lost that weight and are so proud of me. My brothers have also congratulated me and supported me which really meant a lot. My ass hole stepdad also did and I'm now actually forgiving him for all the mental abuse that he has caused. I realized that I haven't given the necessary family details including my dad, stepdad and my oldest brother and I will write them at a later date because I spent 4 fucking hours doing this one.