#I've ranted to my wife about this for the whole day bc I had feelings about it

[varpusvaras]

Winnick will come this close to writing a good, rightfullly angry character with BPD/CPTSD and ruin it by making him his conception of "a dangerous psychopath" because dc's understanding of mental illness begins and ends with the joker.

I like that Jason was angry i'm not gonna lie I enjoy the "bad victim who doesn't accept that they were a necessary sacrifice, who doesn't think what happened to them is something they should be expected to tolerate, like fuck your greater good, you weren't there, it isn't worth this." I think even looking at Jason's past before getting adopted he has reason to be angry, like he is poor af and starving and he had to take care of his mom and his dad is in jail because he couldn't see another way to provide and he gets trafficked -he has so many reasons to be angry. And he's not, and I love jaybin, but I think there are so many ways and things he can be angry about without it feeling classist. And I love that he can't emotionally regulate, that he has so clearly BPD/CPTSD because why the fuck would he not, have you seen his life (and that's not even counting the csa hc, which i am because willfully and consistently implying csa and then not addressing it/denying it feels like feeding into a culture of taboo that ruins lives and getting away with covert victim-blaming at the same time). The issue is that they lack finesse or any kind of understanding of anger. The think anger is a personality trait. They think angry = evil. They think being angry means you're violent at and about everything, that you shoot indiscriminately even though you've known better since you were a kid, that you're suddenly treating women like shit (which, wtf seriously) which okay maybe THEY treat women shitty for no reason when they're angry, but that'd be more of a them problem I'd say. Their portrayal of anger is classist because their conception of emotions hasn't evolved since fucking Descartes. Think anger = bad = poor and not only doesn't it occur to them that this is classist, they so instinctively assign moral value to the concepts of poor and angry that they don't realise it and just conceptualise poor=angry and end up with incredibly classist portrayals of anger. You can write characters that are mentally ill and violent without being ableist, you can write characters that are poor and angry without being classist, but that requires a level of respect for people, introspection, humility willingness to learn about the sensitive topics you are exploring that is simply not accessible to Winnick and so many other dc writers.

And here comes my very hot take that I'm too cowardly to say off anon: the pit shouldn't have healed Jason's malnutrition. Like, outside of canon I love big jay, I love big men who are emotionally vulnerable and need comfort etc. but in canon? It just comes off as another way to adultify Jason, and make the horrible things that happen to him acceptable. Jason "sleeping with Talia because he is fucked up about Bruce" because they both look like adults until you realise this is actually just rape and you can't put any responsibility of Talia taking advantage of the kid under her care (very ooc of course) on the child himself. Jason fighting Mia looking like a 40 years old beating up a teenage girl when they're the same damn age. Fucking Ethiopia 2.0. And Jason's murders as well, for the matter. Like don't get me wrong the duffle bag of doom is an iconic villain move, but it's just that: a massive shock effect and a "psychopathic" move. We shouldn't need Jason beheading anyone to be horrified, because just one murder, if written correctly, should be enough. A child killing someone is a terrible thing. A child being put in a position where they think killing someone is the only solution to ending suffering (thinking about the Garzonas case) is a terrible thing. A kid trying to kill his murderer (because fuck his death has to matter it has to) and only begging to be allowed it should be horrifying. Jason, with his unhealed malnutrition making him look a couple of years smaller and younger than his physical age, should look his mental age. It should be impossible to look away from the reality of what he is: a traumatized teenager who wasn't allowed to grow up. And he has a gun. This is already a horror story.

Make utrh!Jason a villain if you must, but have the guts to sit with it. Don't shove the fact that he was a hero and a victim under the rug because it's uncomfortable. Sit with the unease that sometimes someone is doing something bad and is suffering a lot, and maybe they're doing the bad thing because they don't know how to survive the suffering, and suddenly it's not easy separating hero from villain from victim. Your imaginary lines in the sand will not protect you from the crude reality of the complicated and shitty situations you have chosen to depict; you open the can of worms now you can't look away and let the worms roam free just because you're squeamish.

How does it feel to be psychic and be in my head and write part of my essay on Jason for me? Fuck, I have so much to say about this but I need a good night of sleep to formulate it correctly. Look for a longer answer tomorrow, but in the meantime, everyone sit down and look at this and look at it hard. Thank you.

[nicistrying]

Thurs 1st August

2.39am and I am wide awake bc my mother in law is being a total nightmare. She's been mostly great all through wedding planning, they are doing us a huge favour by looking after Maggie so we didn't have to put her in kennels. But now they've suddenly decided they really wanted to stay at the hotel, which we said 8 months ago when we asked them to have Maggie that we didn't want her staying there, bc she would be stuck in the room all day, and if a cleaner went in she would be territorial of the room so she'd probably have to be muzzled, and we would be so stressed about making sure people were going to check on her etc. They said this was all fine, they were planning to go home on the night anyway, no problem. But now because there are empty rooms they are having a fit that they can't stay. I get that that's frustrating but we would be so uncomfortable with Maggie being in a hotel full of 60+ people, she'd be so so stressed and it would not be fair to her.

So his mam has then been telling us we shouldn't be paying for empty rooms, but it was in the contract we signed 18 months ago that any empty rooms still need paid for because they're all booked out for our guests, which is fair and from what I can tell is standard for any wedding venue so we would be in the same situation literally wherever we had the wedding. We've explained that to her several times over the past few months and she would not take no for an answer bc she's used to kicking up such a fuss that people just give in to her.

So she had been having this discussion AGAIN with Matt yesterday, and she said she was 'going for a walk near there anyway so she would pop in to talk about it' and he told her not to, because there is nothing to discuss, everything is under control and nothing needs changed. The venue then emailed us saying she had been in wanting to discuss the rooms and thank god the wedding coordinators weren't there to discuss with her. So they emailed us saying rooms can be made up at the last minute if anyone else decides to stay etc as I think they assumed that was maybe what she wanted. Matt sent her their email and said Idk what you wanted to discuss but there's the reply, and she replied 'they said the wedding coordinator would call me and I told them not to tell you!'

Obviously Matt's reply was of course they told us, it is actually our wedding. Then she starts saying how upset she is that she's being left out of the wedding and feels like she doesn't know what's going on. But we've TOLD HER every single update, we talk wedding planning every time we see her, I've offered to take her dress shopping multiple times and she didn't want to go with me, I asked her to send photos of her mam for a memory table and she just never did, we asked her to make our cake, she is a witness to our marriage and will be on the fucking certificate. What else did she want?! She's been just as involved as, if not more than, anyone else. We said from the very start we wanted to do it all ourselves and that's what we've done but we've kept them in the loop the whole time. I genuinely don't know what else we ahould have done. I'm at my fucking wit's end with her I am so stressed and it's literally all because of his family being dicks. My face is breaking out, stress eczema is coming out, I can't eat or sleep. I had a bag of crisps and 4 squares of chocolate for dinner then went to bed and lay awake. His one brother and his wife who we get on really well with have been so supportive bc they've already been through this. Like we were so worried about my family behaving themselves but they're all actually being really chill about everything. We really didn't think his would be such a nightmare

But on the bright side, my sister in law (the one married to the nice brother) helped me make these lovely glasses for everyone having hair and makeup done and it took us 4 hours and we just ranted about this stupid fucking family the whole time and it was v v cathartic

[starleska]

RAAAAH I got a job interview for my dream career field, my autism evaluator is deciding how Afflicted and Afflicted with what I am, I'm well rested, and I've had a great time talking to people today! I believe I am finally blinded by the hubris of my victories enough to tell you (and whoever may be following the saga of my ramblings in your askbox) what my Latest Fixation is! You can just dm if I say anything inane in my post-pleasant day delirium, or you can put me on blast, idc idc I'm losing my mind rn, I'm rotating this show in my head so fast.

👉👈 so...The show is called Longmire. It's an American, contemporary western, crime drama from 2012 based on the book series of the same name. It follows the titular Sheriff Walt Longmire as he tries to get his life together after the loss of his wife and solve crimes in his county and whatever he can around the neighboring Native American Reservation.

I say "whatever he can" bc The Reservation isn't actually within his jurisdiction and he's barely allowed to be there, bc they have their own police force, and THAT'S where THE GUY I keep trying to tell you about without telling you about comes in!

👉👈so...he's Tribal Police Chief Mathias Clark. Yeah I gotta say the whole thing.

We're first introduced to him when he tries to beat the ever-loving cowboy out of our protagonist for daring to show his face on The Reservation after arresting his boss, the previous Tribal Police Chief (albeit for crimes he did commit, but Walt didn't even wait for the federal police like he was supposed to, but...it was complicated, ok?)

I think he walks this nice line between upholding the law above all else; doing things often more by-the-book than any other character; being calculated and calm and sane (...despite that introduction); and, at the same time, being fiercely protective of his people and culture; considering Sheriff Walt and co. to be opportunistic, reckless, disrespectful threats and scarcely cutting them any slack and still giving them trouble when he finally does in any investigations that may lead them onto his jurisdiction; being willing to kick and bite (and occasionally blackmail, uh oh) to achieve everything he can for the good and well-being of his people on The Reservation, even if the people refuse to trust another Police Chief, or if it may cost someone else.

Ultimately, he holds the law in a very high regard but holds his people and culture higher. He's very limited in what he can do, as a tribal police chief, and he's set on being fair, but he'll do anything he possibly can to make The Reservation safe and ensure the people on it a good future. <3

Also he's got a lot of attitude and sass and is constantly mad at Walt and loves his people sm and its very endearing and funny and also don't fact check anything I've said today with a real long-time fan of the series unless I made him sound unlikable, I hope you're doing well plz take care okay bye AGAGGHAAAAA THE POST RANT CLARITY-

LORELEI YOU LITTLE LEGEND OMGGGG!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 honey i am so, so proud of you, that is absolutely amazing!!!! wow - makes me feel a lot better about a rough month that it's balanced out into a good time for a pal, eh? 🥰 ohoho FIXATION TIME!!! okay okay i am sitting cross-legged and listening eagerly :3c wow!!!!! oh my goodness first of all this show sounds so cool, i'm adding it to the watchlist immediately 👀 and second, hello Tribal Police Chief Mathias Clark!!! he sure is a handsome guy 😳😳 and from everything you've said about him, quite the catch (and exactly the kind of man you tend to fall for 😉) :3c he sounds like a wonderfully principled man who isn't afraid to protect those he cares about most...and you know what? i reckon you falling for him is a sign that you feel you deserve to be taken care of. which you do. that is so, so wonderful 💖🙈

i can imagine this is a series which touches on a lot of prevalent issues to do with the erasure of Native American culture and safety at the hands of American racism and police brutality...would you say this show does a good job of portraying that? it's not a subject i'm overly versed in being from the UK, and i'd love to get a better grounding on that even if in a fictionalised context. i'm not sure if you'd recommend the tv show or the books first, but you've certainly got me curious 👀 interesting that the first thing which comes up when you google his name is fanfiction - clearly you've got some competition in the fanbase, eh? 😉 you'd better be inviting me to the wedding!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[cetra]

[Image ID: A screenshot of Lae'zel from Baldur's Gate 3. She can be seen in the Astral Plane, looking at something unseen in the distance with an uncertain expression on her face. /End ID.]

Okay this is probably stupid and pointless but WHATEVER i'm embaracing the cringe. This is a rant about Lae'zel's evil qualities BECAUSE SHE'S MY WIFE AND IM STARTING TO GET ANNOYED at people either ignoring that side of her or hating her because of it!! I'm shoving it all under a cut because it ended up getting WAY LONGER than i expect it to be 🧡

I've seen some people make the claim that folks only think Lae'zel is cruel and selfish because they never bothered to keep her in their party for long enough to see the variety of facets of her character, and i'm just gonna say this: Lae'zel hasn't left my party i think even once since she joined, and I can confirm that she definitely is cruel and selfish. You have to remember that Lae'zel has essentially spent her whole life drilling "kindness is weakness, violence is of virtue, intimidation is your weapon, your only purpose is to Ascend no matter how bloody a path you must carve along the way" into her head bc that's the only way she knows how to survive

And this is entirely reflected in her actions, how she treats the player and the other companions, and what she approves/disapproves of— especially in the early hours of the game before she's had much room to develop at all. She likes when the player is violent for the sake of furthering themselves, and sometimes even when it's just for fun (i.e. torturing Liam for no reason other than entertaining some goblins). she likes when the player is intimidating to the point of comical. She likes when the player treats the people around them like scum that are beneath them. She likes when the player puts their own needs before others. I know this because i'm playing a character that is typically aligned with this kind of behavior, and Lae'zel absolutely loves it to the point of admiration and obsession (her words). from my understanding it's pretty easy to foster a neutral to positive relationship with Lae'zel even on a good aligned character because that's the way the game works. It's actually REALLY hard to get your character on a companion's bad side. But getting Lae'zel to admire you is going to be hard too if you aren't willing to be at least a little wicked and cruel, forsaking compassion from time to time!!!!!

and I dont know..... i guess when I see posts where people try to convince us that she cares from the start and she isn't ALL THAT BAD in the beginning I feel like does a lot of disservice to her character and JUST how much she grows over the course of the game. Like no, she doesnt actually care about the players and the companions at the very beginning, because not only are they strangers that she's known for a couple days after spending a lifetime of associating caring with frailty, but also because she has no actual reason to. Lae'zel is lawful and logical, and to care for somebody at this point in her story is illogical. the only reason why she should want the player and companions alive is A) because of their knowledge of Faerun and B) so she has as much manpower as possible to cut down her foes quickly, minimizing the chance of ceremorphosis creeping up on them. They are her only chance at being able to actually navigate this world completely foreign to her without losing her mind and to get to the Creche so she can continue seeking her true purpose: ASCENSION. and once they get to the Creche she gets MAD if the player tries to cure themselves before her. She threatens to leave. she definitely is THAT BAD and it RULES SORRY!!

it isn't until much later in the story that she is able to show even a glimmer of empathy towards the struggles of the companions i.e. Gale and Shadowheart. That in my opinion, although also depending on the player's actions, is the entire purpose of her arc having MAJOR developments a bit earlier than most of the companions— so that she can start to challenge herself and her own faith much earlier and subconsciously in the process understand some of the other companions crises of faith too

Like. man. i just don't understand why some people are so unwilling to admit to themselves that Lae'zel is not a good person, at least definitely not at the start of the game. i guess it's because they view that as a bad thing? but to me personally it's what makes her SO INTERESTING and why I immediately latched onto her. Lae'zel easily has the most ties to the main narrative out of all the characters in the game, she's arguably the most important companion in the game, and she's pretty consistently been a centerpiece in Larian's marketing for it. but she essentially has NONE of the makings of a traditional hero in a personality and moral sense. She's nasty, she's brutal, she's sadistic, she's ignorant, she's full of herself, she's brash. I love that side of her so much and i love that subversion of what we would typically expect from a character who's constantly at the forefront of an adventure story like BG3's. just completely a product of her own environment, and justifiably so, when you realize the historical agony of her people and the horrors they had to overcome

I've torn flesh from monsters and men. I've laughed as they suffered.

Once you really start to understand these fundamental parts of her character and like. ACTUALLY ACCEPT THEM as a core part of her identity..... you really start to see that she's also brave, and clever, and intelligent, and has an intense love for her people and culture, and is actually HILARIOUS (both intentionally and unintentionally). When she really lets the player in too, specifically in her romance, and you get the privilege of watching her let her guard down, it feels like something you're not meant to see and like you're infringing on a private moment. because she's genuinely so sweet and warm in these moments and she's only really let the player character access that part of her because she trusts them, not YOU. And to Lae'zel, this is probably the first time in her life she's ever trusted someone..... and she's probably damning herself for it. Trying to blame it on an obsessive and carnal lust with no real emotions or love involved. Because she's not a good person, and she's not a person who trusts and loves. and it's so good and relatable and well-written it makes me want to SCREAM 😭😭

But you... I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you.

Just. I DONT KNOW. IM RAMBLING AT THIS POINT BUT....... LAE'ZEL MY LOVE!!!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!! and i hope there are other people who love her at every point in her story not just for who she ends up becoming. Every part of this character means so much to me and i'm gonna think of her forever.....

and I'm not even finished with the game

[derangedthots]

Life/Blog(??) Update:

hello again my darlings💕💕

i know it's been a couple weeks since you guys heard from me(i keep doing a disappearing act on you fjsks sorry about that) and i know i've worried a few people. i finally felt like i had enough mental/emotional space to address everyone again - however long or short this period of activity ends up being - so i'm here to say i've been dealing with some stuff in my personal life that's kept me from being present on this blog. my hopes are that i'm coming to the tail end of The Current Life Mess™ but if that doesn't end up happening, i wanted to at least leave some sort of 'official' explanation here.

regarding CTF, i'm still very much working on it so there are no worries on that front. obviously the next chapter/s update is gonna come later than what i'd originally planned (april-may? who was i kidding omggg) but hey, that's life🙃🤷🏻‍♀️ trust me i'm not happy about it either (very cringe behavior from me being this late ugh) but i wanted to be transparent abt the delays bc this community has been nothing but kind and generous and patient and i didn't want to leave you guys hanging dry just completely clueless about everything🥹

in the couple weeks i've been inactive my askbox has filled up again and i'll try to get to answering those very soon. thank you again to everyone for being so patient with me, i appreciate every single question/comment/rant very Very Much😭💕

on a final note, and perhaps the most important thing out of this whole post - there's a good possibility that i'll be privating Fire Made Flesh and Courting the Flame in the next few days. all this stuff around AI/ChatGPT has been making me anxious for a while. the amount of entitlement that's been increasingly pervading creative and/or fandom spaces is very concerning to me and it should be concerning to everyone else if it isn't already. i haven't encountered any problems (that i know of) with my own works or from any one of you lovelies(💕💕) but all the same, i've come to a point where i don't feel comfortable risking it. i know making my fics available to only registered ao3 users doesn't completely prevent this from happening, but i'll take any stopgap i can right now until the OTW does smth about what's happening. i might change my mind in the future and make FMF/CTF publicly available again for a short time (ultimately that is how they can get the most visibility) especially when i update CTF but, for now, that won't be the case. i'm mentioning this for transparency but also bc i know not everyone has an account and i wanted to give you guys the time to take whatever measures you need to have access to the fics, whether that's making an account or just downloading them. i also wanted to mention it bc i know not all of my readers has a tumblr/knows i'm on here so i thought you guys could help spread the word. (i'll be adding a short mention of this to the ending author's note of CTF ch 2 as well don't worry)

wanted to say thank you to everyone again, i love all of you and i hope you're healthy and happy♥️💖 stay amazing my darlings💕

sincerely, your wife😚❤️‍🔥

[tahdashi]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

Hope you’re having a splendid day sayu!

ooh i saw a couple of my moots do this !! i'll do the ones i talk to the most bc it's easier for me mwah (i genuinely think i bother them on a daily basis, and if not daily, more than i should)

this is in no particular order !!! self-ship moment 🤕

@rindouphiliac [#yuris] ris (my bf yeah) is so precious to me <3 they're the main reason i started writing and i look up to them sm !!! and and and i love talking to them about anything and they don't mind when i rant so mwah extra points <333 i think we're really cute together and would do anything to be w them rn (don't tell rindou)

@skniven [#shoyu] shona's my gf :0 pls she's so precious and pretty and angelic and i love her with my whole heart <3 we already picked out our wedding song and everything. and i like when she calls me pet names bc i get flustered v easily

@sourstars [#sandora] pandora is literally my other half. my scary dog privilege. she's so creative and funny and can tolerate my ranting (which is a lil too often sorry bby) and i love hearing her stories, too. i think we'd get along really well if we knew each other irl bc we seem like such opposites !! AND she's such a good writer i'm always in awe when she shows me what she's working on :0

@atsumiye [#riyu] riya (aka owner of dad!hq) is who i wanna be when i'm her age. she's smart and funny and so so talented !! i love everything she writes and we're getting merch made for each other bc we're each others' biggest fans. ALSO i'm blaming riya for my baby fever.

@sugamintchocochip [#saia] maia my beloved <3 he's literally so precious bc he sends me sunset pics all the time :,) i love it sm and !!! maia always checks up on me and is so so sweet :( truly one of the kindest people i've met on here mwah

@bokutoism [#saryu] ryu my pretty baby !! ryu's the sweetest angel ever lemme tell you guys. every time they message me or pop up in my inbox i smile. wow their power !! and i have the urge to hold ryu's hand 24/7. kidding not really. also their works. oh my god. literally drooling at my screen every time i go through their masterlist.

@mysterystarz [#novyu] nova and i are a lot alike i think!! we both <3 keiji and suffer through school :,) (although i'm sure she's doing far better than i am) she's so sweet and intelligent and HARDWORKING !!! talking to her is like a breath of fresh air :,) and she reminds me so much of my high school self <33 i love her

@tetsuphobia [#hanyu] hannah's my wife. we had a halloween wedding we're getting married again in the winter bc i wanna kiss under the mistletoe !!! ok but fr hannah's so precious to me bc i remember freaking out when we became moots bc she's so TALENTED. and funny. and pretty. and sweet. and i love her. and and and omg she's so comforting i literally have a mental breakdown every day and i think of her sweet words all the time. also, she makes me soup <33 best roommate ever

@yutari [#savyu] sav's gonna be my first kiss i'm in love w her and she's also the best roommate ever <3 i also think i freaked out when we became moots bc hello. TALENT. and she's really pretty and caring and loving <33 i like when she tells me about iwa and ball they're so cute. and omg whenever i talk to sav she's so sweet i wanna cry i feel so loved </3 can't wait to give her a lil smooch !!!

@melsun [#melayu] mel's my angel omg he's so fun to talk to and i love hearing about his cute moments w mystery girl hehe pls i can't help but think of atsumu n sakusa when i think of mel. ALSO i love when mel checks up on me and pops up in my inbox he does a good job of making sure i feel loved <333 conversations with mel are always fun and he's so so so talented !! melsun supremacy tbh.

@titsuya [#yusar] sar is so sweet i love talking to her so much. our friendship is an example of how fan behavior works sometimes /j 😌 i was her #1 fan before i started writing and look at me now <3333 still her #1 fan. actually i was so scared to talk to her when we became moots bc i was like :000 intimidated but she's the sweetest ever and so relatable. (we're both hot, vegetarians, college students, and poc. the sexiest combo).

@fsrintaro [#honyu] HONEY my beloved <33 she's so cute and hot and i love her. she gives off the best vibes ever and we bond over tig biddies <333 as we should tbh. omg once she woke me up with the cutest message and i fell in love all over again. i'd do anything for my honey and i really hope i can study abroad so i can meet her and take her out on a nice date >:) she deserves it !!! smooches

@kiyelle [#isayu] ISABELLE my wifey !!! one of the first moots i started talking to. she's so SWEET and pretty i'm completely head over heels for her. not only is she incredibly talented, she's also so hardworking, smart, and angelic. (i think i always use the word angelic to describe her bc there's no other word !!! she's truly an angel !!) every interaction i have with her makes me feel so warm n happy and i'm so glad i started talking to her. i'd do anything for her i'm gonna fly to france rn just to give her a lil smooch.

@faetarou [#faeyu] fae my pretty bby. i love talking to fae and interacting w her. and she has such good hcs. pls. i think about them all the time. AND she's the most thoughtful person ever how can someone be that sweet and caring and loving??? she once passed on a note from keiji and i wanted to sob it was so cute i'll never get over it.

[hshouse]

heyyy, how are you? im sorry for the rant and hope u don't mind, i really need to talk about this, just get it out of my chest, yk? so, i started to follow you yesterday, i think so? so, i've been here in the fandom for a couple years, since 2013 to be specific but just went really into larry in 2015 (what a blessed year to became a larrie, innit?)

then, i stayed here until early 2017 when i took a break, lost hs1 era and all that came with it, even lost harry coming to my country, that's how much i was far from the fandom lol.

i came back in september/october 2019, and then, as you can see, i lost a lot of drama on the fandom and got so so confused to get into everything again but okay, i searched and saw everything happened during these years. im kinda ashamed to assume but lol i even had a weak crisis because of hamille, thought they broke up and stuff. (like cmon girl, i went through babygate and was weak for that? 😭) in my defense, i wasn't on tumblr so much so my source was twitter when i came back and there is a hell as everybody knows, but yeah. nowadays i'm okay about everything but i'm feeling a litte bad today. (if u can like, idk, hide this part if u post the ask, i don't want some people to know who i am lol). my friend received some asks about harry×rob stringer and okay, i went to reply it for her because she was busy and stuff. i full well know they have a professional relationship and harry's one of the biggest artists sony has nowadays, so i said this, explained that he isn't the evil that rads try to make him look like and i really believe that. that probably will seems contradictory since i defended him and now i'm like 🤯 about some things. anyways, idk, it just makes me uncomfortable, yk? i know he works under sony and they are independent artists, that harry is making a lot of money for sony/rob know and that's why rob will move the world to promote harry if needed but like, idk, i completley agree that louis would never ask harry to give up his dreams and work, and that he knows how to separate things but it's just weird to me that harry doesn't seems uh? idk the right word to say but like, he's not bothered at all about this while rob is putting so much for him and louis was being sabotaged by the same person, yk? i get now we don't even know if he still under sony since syco is dead but yeah, it's just weird to me... i think part of this feeling i have rn is just because of some gross comments i saw from antis today on twitter and that makes me feel bad, normally i really don't care and imlike bulletproof about them but today it's hitting me (as if it isn't enough, im also brazilian and i think you saw about this guy named fiuk, don't care about this at all lol, but the antis comments started bc of what he said 😂 honestly...)

i choose to send it for you bc i saw you are more on harry's lane although you are also a larrie, and im kinda identify with you because of that so i would like to know how you think about this whole situation and if that maybe can help me to organize my thoughts... im really sorry about this lonnnng text, hope u have a nice day.

hi bby,

I’m good and yes 2015 was iconique. (gonna try to address everything you said)

I personally found Hamille harder to deal than other stunts, I feel you.

Let’s get our ducks in a row first. 

Rob Stringer is not involved in Harry, or anyone’s, promo. That is not his job at all. He is the CEO of a huge company, he is most likely in meetings making sure Sony has money and the shareholders are happy. What I said, and I absolutely fucking maintain, is that Stringer knows Harry is one of the biggest artists on his catalogue and is going to make sure he is treated well and receives what he wants (within reason). 

Harry and Louis are completely different artists and there is a very limited way they can interact business-wise in the way people want it. A label will not, and an ethical artist would never ask, please one artist by giving help to an artist they personally are not working with. They are not even on the same label so it would be like “hey can you give my boyfriend a multi-million dollar deal? can you fit that in the budget?”. He is not asking for a signed vinyl from Miley for his cousin, this is a big deal. I don’t really understand what soap opera moment people expect to happen in the background? Any couple that has millions on the line in their job works to make sure their finances and opportunities and everything is separate. This is not weird? A husband lawyer will not quit because his wife was fired from the firm? That’s not like spicy. 

I’m fairly confident Louis is still under Sony, since changing majors is a huge thing and I doubt Sony would be willing to just give him away and not negotiate further. He probably got a better deal in another Sony label. 

I will say this. Out of all the reasons to not believe in Larry this is a dumb fucking one. It’s business AND we have no idea about what is actually happening. At all. So like to again make all these jumps just to say Larry isn’t real? There way less messy ways if that is your end goal yk. 

Also I want to say that I understand, feel and agree with the frustration over Louis’ career. I don’t think anyone doesn’t? Just because I don’t subscribe to this one narrative it does NOT mean I am suddenly thinking he has the best team and promo and everything is rosy and perfect. I just don’t think this is the story and I think it is way more complicated than we even think.

[inafieldofdaisies]

C-drama review/rant | Stealth Walker

(I've been watching this one recently and couldn't help but post some of my thoughts so I can vent some of my frustration :D)

I'm a huge fan of crime & mystery shows, so naturally when I saw the blurb for SW, I was super excited to watch it.

The drama is quite catchy and keeps you invested, but the amount of anxiety it gave me with a certain thing is unreal...

Aside from the awkward & rushed "romance" between Lin Qiang & Zhang Xian He (Bcs of how forced it feels I honestly wish this this drama had no romance, that instead it would just stay focused on the crime & action), what would give me a pause time & time again was Zhang Xian He's "parenting" and how the show pretty much brushed over his actions to the point I'm on (Ep16).

For context: Zhang Xian He supposedly adopted the baby of dr*g addicts and has been raising Zhang Ke Ke for years.

Problem is his parenting consists of leaving Ke Ke all alone the whole day, sometimes even at night (at one point to meet the heroine in a hotel room; keep in mind Ke Ke's probably 8 at most and he's working with shady people that wouldn't be above taking her to keep him in check), he had a sh!tty way of handling her tantrums & emotions, he'd shout at her when she gets bad grades, but wouldn't do anything to help her with homework to a point she had to approach the neighbor (Lin Qiang) for help. At one point he made a comment how she stayed at another family's house for few days and thanks to the wife that she got better grades (Gee, I wonder why).

The child literally said she'd rather live with Lin Qiang and eat take-out every day instead of being his daughter. From Xian He's constant moving around she had no friends until Lin Qiang.

It's insane how supposedly Xian He has so much money, yet he can't get his daughter a tutor or a nanny to watch her. At one point he sent her away for a short while to "protect her" but for some reason thought it's safe for her to return the moment he started business with the most unstable man ever, someone that he most certainly can't trust to not hurt Ke Ke.

In Ep 16 I just had a BRUH moment, bcs yet again he left Ke Ke all alone:

Lin Qiang: Ke Ke stayed alone at home last night. Is she okay?

Zhang Xian He: I texted her. I asked her to buy something to eat. She can stay alone for now. (talks about how it's better if she doesn't stay with him) I'm not a good dad.

Lin Qiang: You're not a good dad, but you chose to raise a daughter when you were so young.

(The show loves to point that out. Like so what? All is excused bcs he adopted a child? He's certainly not doing a good job at raising Ke Ke, he's neglecting her on the regular, putting her in danger)

Zhang Xian He: If I hadn't adopted her, she would have spent her childhood in an orphanage. It doesn't feel good to be an orphan.

(And leaving her alone at home when you're doing shady stuff with dr*g dealers is better?)

Like I know he doesn't have the best family background, that he doesn't have such good examples of parenting thanks to his adoptive father, but it would have been nice to see him try to be a good dad. Just cooking for Ke Ke isn't enough, esp when he had so many chances to be there for her, to put her first.

I so wish this show didn't have such questionable take on parenting and wasn't avoiding addressing Zhang Xian He's actions, let alone praise him for the bare minimum & expect us to just be okay with it all since he "admitted" he's not a good father.

All that aside, I'm still invested in finishing the drama.