#I've pretty much always been in good company and that's...really comforting actually. I love my friends so much.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I just had a very random recollection of a time when one of my best friends and I used to regularly make food fetish jokes at each other as a way to say goodbye/see you later. In public. On school grounds.

...In other thoughts, if there is ANYTHING more Taurus than that, I HAVE NOT HEARD IT. (We're both Tauruses - in fact, her birthday is two days after mine, and even though we haven't really kept up with each other that well over the years, we still manage to wish each other happy birthday every year.)

[brisquad-unit-4402]

Hello it’s me again! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing okay. I recently have been reading through a lot of angst to comfort and I have an idea for a request!

May I request an Ike fic where reader is a liver in NIJISANJI and has a crush on Ike but knows they have no chance with him. Then one day reader accidentally spills their feelings to Ike and Ike comforts them after hearing about readers feelings?

I hope you’re not tired of me requesting Ike fics (ily him to much) and I hope you have a good day/night! <3

-🖋️

stars above your skin

oh 🖋 we're really in it now

how long have i had this request in my inbox? early march? and now exactly one day after blue light dropped, i give you a ~19.5k word ike fic. much love and effort has gone into this one, only seconded by the massive amounts of brainrot.

so yeah, i'm not tired of ike requests. i'm literally a quilldren that writes fanfic. this is the opposite of a problem

in fact this might be one of my favorite things i've written... the second half is such a good bedtime story for me...!

this is going to get NASTY to read on tumblr—as in my site is lagging so hard just typing these a/n notes. so i'm going to remind you all that not only is liking/reblogging recommended to keep track of this fic, but also that i have an ao3 account (same name as url but without dashsince it's much more accessible than tumblr for long fic. i recommend reading on tumblr if you can because of some formatting but to each their own!

here’s a funny story about this fic. i was working on it while a bunch of people sat behind me, you see, and one of my greatest irrational fears is that people sitting behind me will be able to see my laptop screen and laugh at what i’m writing…! and with these requests i usually title them the fandom name and my name, and a short phrase about the request, and this one was “workplace romance”, and i just got so afraid right then and there i changed it to the first thing i could think of, based off a clip i saw of pomu, selen, aia and doppio…!! and that’s why the wip doc is titled “nijisanji 4402 - pliskin”, and why i will always refer to this fic as "pliskin" much more than the actual title

by the way here’s a cover of iris that was pretty fitting for this fic. you’ll know when to play it. enjoy

tags: hurt/comfort, reader is a niji vtuber, gender neutral reader, off-collab, mutual pining, misunderstandings, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, cuddling, everyone in niji is your wingman, implied uki/ren if you squint but it’s mostly because uki will flirt with 80% of the men in this company

cameos: aia amare, alban knox, mika melatika, nina kosaka, ren zotto, uki violeta, vox akuma, fulgur ovid (mentioned)

⚠️ drinking/alcohol (unspecified if reader drinks alcohol)

⚠️ horror/gore mentions (non-detailed), out of context outlast spoilers i guess?

author's commentary here (spoilers) ↣

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There are dozens of these videos on YouTube, and never have you come across the same one twice. You would know. You have a bad habit of clicking on them. 

After all, they’re labeled with your name on them, and right next to it, Ike Eveland. You are smart enough to recognize it’s not worth your time and just another compilation of the same moments and fans trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but your heart says otherwise. To be fair, the compilations were a much more recent development than the one you hid under lock and key. 

When you first joined Nijisanji, some of your senpais sent you messages full of greetings and offers to help you get on your feet as a streamer. Ike was one of those senpais, and whenever you popped into voice calls just to hang out, he was easy to talk to, like an old friend. Naturally, a fast friendship formed, and when you debuted, he was one of the first people you collabed with- and the one with the best reception. Your new fans (‘Bookworms,’ they called themselves, after your name Reader) loved how well your humor bounced off each other, and when weeks passed and you announced another collab on your schedule with Ike, your Bookworms rejoiced. 

Even when you weren’t working, you would still talk to him. He told you about his homeland in the past and his novels, both released and unpublished. He was a storyteller even when he was talking about something as minute as making a sandwich, and whenever you brought up your past and interests, he was an excellent listener. You had your differences, but he always knew what questions to ask so he could understand you better, and you loved the opportunity to ramble. 

It had been nearly three months since you debuted, and four if you count the day you were officially hired and began to build yourself as a streamer. Whenever you look at the endlessly long text history between you and Ike, you have to wonder: is it normal to feel so connected to someone you’ve only known for three-maybe-four months? 

You’re not an idiot. You aren’t about to say Ike is the most important thing in the world to you, but he gets pretty damn close. That terrifies you. You shouldn’t be so attached to someone you barely know. 

But then again, you trust Ike. He’s opened up to you about things he would never say to others, and he keeps your secrets buried in the grave. You’ve lost count of how much advice he’s given you, but you’ve never forgotten a single one, and whenever you feel lost about something you know you can count on him to help you out. 

You grimace, sip out of your drinking glass, and press ‘play’ on the next compilation. 

A cute intro plays with the clipper’s name. Above it are the words Pen and Paper, surrounded by puffy pink hearts. 

That was the duo name between you and Ike, but "ship name" was more accurate among fanwork.

You weren’t exactly unaware about it. Weeks ago, you were surfing Twitter and the site’s algorithm granted you your introduction into Pen and Paper. This was shortly after your first collab with Ike, and after you established your shipping rules with your audience (“I’m fine with anything, as long as the other liver is okay with it!”, you proclaimed, totally oblivious to how soon that would blow up in your face). The fanartist posted a messy black-and-white sketch, but you could make out the pattern of Ike’s scarf wrapped around you and him at the same time, forcing your bodies into close proximity with averted eyes and dusty blushes. 

You appreciated the fanartist’s passion and skill, but the thought of you and Ike as an item sunk in your chest like you swallowed a rock. You swiped past. You went back to your scrolling, found some good thumbnails, and retweeted some cute solo fanart, but before the week ended, you made a private account with a fake name and staked out the tags for Pen and Paper to follow that fanartist.

Damn fanartist. You tried to deny it, and told yourself that you followed their art because you liked the style. But their account was full of ship art, and when Twitter gave you similar users that all worked under the hashtag, you had to face facts. If you wanted to look at it optimistically, at least you figured it out early on before anything had the chance to sour while you were still blissfully ignorant of yourself; even then, that doesn’t make it any harder than it already is.

Besides all the texts, the meetings, the schedules and events, and then including the streams and collabs and the art and the fandom… 

“Why?” You ask out loud in the silence of your room. “Why did I have to fall for my coworker?”

And with audiences of over hundreds of people watching you fall for him, nonetheless!

It’s irritating. You have a job that keeps you motivated to work hard. It’s given you a dedicated fanbase, rare opportunities, and coworkers you all recognize as your friends. Really, finding someone to care for because of it should be a blessing, but it’s such a headache. What if your fanbases get jealous, or even worse, outright hate it? Would you be able to keep up a relationship when you and Ike are dedicated to your careers and streams? Why are you even thinking like this? You scold yourself. There’s no way this would ever work out. It’s all fantasy and smoke and mirrors, because fandoms love love. Shipping is never a reflection of the streamers, just the characters you play. You’re delusional if you think your stupid crush could actually go anywhere.

But fandoms love love. The only comfort you have is being able to pretend something could happen. The ship art is a lie, and so are the fanfics, and the clippers that tag their videos as Pen and Paper are just here for a possibility that never could happen.

The compilation is full of little hints and teases, and if you were being honest with yourself, most of it was more like two friends getting along than actual flirting. But you didn’t trust yourself to see your clumsiness for what it is when Ike’s little laughs are like music to your ears. 

Damage control, you tell yourself. It’s like studying how you play your favorite games. You can pinpoint where you stumble and leave yourself open for attack in Apex, Smash, even Crab Game, and then amend those mistakes the next time you pick up the game. Real life should be no different. Just stop acting so dorky all the time by finding moments of dork in your VODs and avoid them next time you talk to Ike.

This clip was from your second collab with Ike. Captions floated along the bottom of the screen. Ike's captions were in his signature blue.

IKE: You know, there’s a lot of content about us two as a duo.

READER: They call us Pen and Paper, right?

IKE: Yeah, my art tag is flooded with art of the both of us. 

READER: Oh my God, look at the chat. Mine’s full of people saying they love us together. 

IKE: Aww, thanks, Quilldren! I’m happy I can play with Reader too. 

READER: Thank you, Bookworms; thank you, Quilldren. Hey, there’s a lot more overlap than I expected.

IKE: They’re like Bookdren.

READER: Or Quillworms.

IKE: Quillworms, that sounds way better. They’re like our children.

READER: www

IKE: www

Never fucking mind about acting so dorky all the time. You kick yourself for bringing up Pen and Paper, and your giggly laugh. You hate it. A neon sign above your head that says “SIMP” would be less obvious than that stupid schoolkid laugh.

But Ike’s laughter is music, back in the moment and now as you revisit it, and his model’s eyes squint with a wide smile.

He really is an amazing man. If you didn’t know him as well as you do, you’d think he’s perfect. But you’ve seen him in moments of vulnerability, the parts of himself that never shows through on stream and even rarer among his friends. Through it all he manages to keep going, and you admire him so much for sticking to his guns even when he’s expressed all his doubts about himself. The fact that he trusts you enough to let his guard down only adds to how honored you are to know him, and at the same time, the fact that there’s so much trust between you two just makes you feel worse for having a crush on him. You hate keeping secrets like this when you let Ike read you like an open book for everything else, and even just wishing you were something more to him feels like a betrayal of all that trust. You wish you could just be satisfied to know him.

The compilation continues. The next clip is a totsu Fall Guys collab hosted by Fulgur Ovid that you and Ike joined in on. Fuuchan got eliminated early in the match, and spectated on you while the other livers ran around Roll On with players tugging them this way and that. 

You moved around the rotating levels at the perfect sweet spot between two rings, and balanced at the top of the roll as the slime level slowly rose.

A longer wall approached, so you shuffled from one level to another, but another player grabbed your bean avatar and dragged you along to the wall even as you yelled out in panic on Discord. You smashed your keys to struggle, but they had an advantage, and it was clear the wall would push you down to the slime for an impending elimination.

That is, until a familiar Miku bean grabbed the other side of your avatar, and pulled the other way towards the ring that would save your life. Resigned, your attacker backed off and barely dodged out of the way while Ike’s Miku bean brought you back to safety.

The other two livers in the game were too noisy to notice you. Fuuchan was commentating every move you made, and when Ike saved you, he said, “Ike coming in clutch, let’s fucking go.”

Your recorded self didn’t hear him at all, though. You swooned, “Ike, my hero!”

Meanwhile in the present, you wanted to puke. You meant for that to sound like an over-the-top joke, but you crush is getting so serious that it sounds less like a bit and more like how you gush about him in private. 

At least Fuuchan’s audio was louder than everyone else, since he was the host, and the other two livers were preoccupied with their own game to notice your lovey-dovey tone and how Ike laughed music at you. It was bad enough clippers transcribed your words in captions, but you weren’t sure how you would handle it if those three picked up on you and your dumb crush. The less that know about your workplace romance, the better.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Reader,” Aia coos. Even with audio only, you could tell her eyes were sparkling. “You didn’t tell me you had a workplace romance!”

Well, so much for that plan. You froze over. “Who told you that?”

Mika answers way too quickly. “It’s Alban’s fault.”

“Fuck off, Mika, you brought it up first!”

“You said it though!”

Man, you were already starting to regret joining VC today. You finished your offline work a lot faster than expected, so when you realized that three of your close friends in the company were all online in VC together while Alban privately streamed a rhythm game, you figured you would join the call while you prepared dinner. 

But if that was your greeting, you needed to mentally prepare for the wild interrogation you were about to experience. At least Aia, despite her love for drama, knew how to navigate these sorts of things delicately. And you don’t mean to call Mika and Alban bad friends—they were the exact opposite, in fact—but they were much nosier than Aia ever came across.

“Okay, but Reader just asked who leaked it, and didn’t deny it,” Aia says. “So that means it must be true!”

Scratch that. Aia is the worst out of all of them.

“I hate you guys. No hello or anything, just gossip about my love life,” you lament.

She gasps, and if her eyes were sparkling before, then roses bloomed around her as she spoke. “It’s love?”

Mika shrieks like a banshee. “Oh hell no, you’re in love and you didn’t tell us?!”

“It’s not love. It’s nothing!”

“Nah-uh, Reader, no running away from it, we know,” Alban says. “Better to just get it all out in the open than pretend like nothing’s up.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to snoop.”

“I’m being serious. Keeping stuff bottled up deteriorates you, especially when love’s involved.” He missed a note. “Shit. And yeah, okay, I want some gossip, but I have a point and you know it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, I blew a full combo just to say that!”

“Can I add? In case you forgot, Reader, we’re all in the same company,” Mika says. “Sure, I might be in a different branch, but who knows? Maybe we can help.”

“And fuck you too.” You sigh in defeat. As vitriolic as your shared humor was, these three were still some of your best friends, and you know they don’t mean any harm. “Ugh, I hate this. This is confidential information. Like, CIA levels of confidential. If I tell you guys, you can’t tell a single soul about it. Understand?”

The three all chime in agreement. And unfortunately, you trust them. You take advantage of your coworkers swearing themselves to secrecy to hype yourself up and just rip off the band-aid. “It’s Ike.”

“We know.”

“What the hell do you mean, you know?!”

“It’s obvious,” Aia says. Your heart hammers in your chest. Then she sputters for a moment, like she realized she might’ve hit a soft spot. “Well, you have to focus on it to see it, but once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. You two go well together.”

Alban pitches in. “Agreed. I’m not even gonna be subtle about it, you and Ike have great chemistry. I’m happy for you two.”

“Okay, I guess.” Your eyes drift away from your prepared ingredients to the corner of your kitchen. “But I don’t know. Are you sure? Because I feel like I always act like an idiot whenever I’m around him. And I doubt he’d ever feel the same way.”

“Wait.” Aia pauses. “You’re… not dating?”

“No. Just a crush. Not love, not dating, nothing. And it’s never going to be anything more than that because it’s just a big stupid crush on my coworker, who doesn’t even live close enough to visit, and this is all a recipe for disaster.”

She doesn’t say anything about that. Actually, none of them do. Even Alban pressed pause on his game, and the Discord stream went motionless as your words sunk in. 

Mika is the one to break the silence. “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s the truth. Happy?”

“No, like, you’re shitting me, there’s no way.”

“Mikaaa.” Alban drags out her name as he scolds her. 

“Hey, I’m just saying, that’s crazy, especially since—“

“Don’t tell Reader that!”

“Tell me what?” 

“We thought you were already a thing. You know, dating, in a relationship, whatever,” Mika clarifies. It hits you like a punch to the gut. “Or at least that you had something going on, and kept it secret so it wouldn’t be awkward for everyone else to work with you two. Which, by the way, we’re all chill with, so if, hypothetically, you decided to hypothetically go for it, we would hypothetically cheer you on and set off hypothetical fireworks. I’d rent a food truck.”

Alban resumes his game. “Yeah, what she said. Go get that hypothetical novelist bussy.”

“Don’t hypothetically talk about my brother like that.”

“You’re sure this is okay?” You ask. “Mika, I know you and Ike are close. This isn’t going to make anything weird, is it?”

“You’re fine, Reader. If I had problems, I would’ve cornered you and threatened you over text ages ago when I figured it out.”

“That’s another thing. How did you guys know?”

Aia pipes up first. “I know I said it was obvious, but I think that’s just because we know each other since we’re good friends. You two just go together, you know? It’s hard to explain, but whenever Reader and Ike-senpai are in the same room you think, ‘those two would be cute,’ and then you realize they are cute, right there in the moment. And you talk a lot faster on stream whenever you’re both on the same page. Almost as fast as me.”

 ���Plus, it’s really common to see both of you on VC at the same time, and you’re always happy whenever he shows up,” Mika affirms. “Alban says whenever one of you enters the call the other is soon to follow.” 

“It’s true. You talk fast whenever you talk to him on VC too, not just stream. And your laugh kind of changes?”

“Dammit, I knew my laugh was my tell. This sucks. This seriously sucks.”

“It might not be all that bad,” Mika says. “Who knows, maybe things might end up better than you expect. You should tell him.”

“No way,” you fire back. “There no way he’d actually reciprocate. And I know you guys are fine with me asking, but Ike himself is just going to reject me, and it’s going to be awkward, and literally everyone in the company who has ever talked to us will be able to tell something’s up.”

“They won’t be weird,” Aia insists. “We won’t, either, and Ike-senpai is a good guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, he wouldn’t leave you out to dry like that.”

“You don’t know. None of you have ever been in this situation.”

“That’s true, but there’s always a chance.”

“If you ask me, it sounds more like you’re afraid of what you think would happen instead of what rationally would,” Alban says. He’s still laser-focused on his game. “I dunno. If you’re really set on getting over it, then go ahead and ignore it, but that’s just going to eat at you for who knows how long before your crush starts to fade.”

“Well, I didn’t ask.”

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

You regret the acidic tone in your voice the second you said it, but Alban was off in his own world of music. He’d tell you if he had a problem with how you spoke to him, but you still feel gross about your knee-jerk reaction. 

You’re just… defensive. Yep, that’s the word. Whenever you’re this interested in someone, you put your walls up and protect yourself from letting anyone worm through and hit a weak point. 

Aia hums like an analyst. “Just keep it in mind, Reader. Not everything is out to get you.”

You know your friends just wanted the best for you, but things just aren’t as simple as they’d like to imagine it. It’s none of their business, anyways. It was pure coincidence that they figured out your thoughts on Ike, and that means none of them have any real authority to advise you on your love life.

“I think we’re done talking about this,” you assert.

“Well, you heard ‘em. Pack it up, show’s over.” Mika changed the subject. “Hey, did you guys know if you try to break open a freshly boiled egg, it explodes?”

Alban slams his hands on his keyboard so loudly that you hear the switches over his noise suppression. The stream goes from a string of Awesome! notes to nothing but misses as he abandons the game. “YES. Yes, actually, I DO know.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“MEAT! WANTS MEAT! WANTS MEAT! MEAT!”

“AAAAAAAAHHHH!”

The stream is to the birds. Fuck that noise. Godspeed to the Bookworms, they’ll need it, but not nearly as much as you. 

When you were settling on a schedule, the last undecided spot for the week was Friday’s stream. That simply wouldn’t do. Friday nights kick off the weekend, and the break from school and work is prime time for a wide audience, so pretty much everyone in Nijisanji reserves their juiciest streams for the weekend. You’re no exception.

…Except for the fact that you didn’t have a clue about what to do for Friday’s stream. One Twitter poll and conveniently timed Steam sale later, you published your schedule with a game your fans voted on: Outlast.

You walked in knowing it would be a horror game, and you figured it would be fine. After all, you’ve played games from Chilla’s Art before, and a few quirky indie psychological releases here and there. You wouldn’t call yourself a stone-faced horror lover that can keep a straight face at anything, but aside from a few creepy moments in those game, you’ve kept your cool relatively well. 

Outlast threw all that out the window. You realized almost immediately that you had no idea how to handle the primal fear of the chase. 

Footsteps pound against a metal floor. You plead for help in the emptiness of your home as you smash the controls, as if that would make your character move the cabinet over the door any faster. Screams resonate in tune between you and the chained man in the room with you, and all the while, the howling of your pursuer grows louder and louder as he gets closer.

You finally uncover the door and dash through. Tremors run though all your thoughts while your heart beats overtime. 

You still haven’t gotten used to all the jumpscares, even though you’re at the edge of your seat and ready to start running yourself. A fork in the road approaches, and when you start off one direction, you’re greeted by a bloodied man in the distance. “AAAHH!”

Faster than light, you slam the key to the other hall and book it. You spot a new storage container to shove in front of the door just in time for text to appear on the screen: Look for pushable objects to block doors.

“No shit, why wouldn’t you tell me that before, oh my God, aaaaah!” The screams—from both the voice actors and your own cries—grate against your eardrums while chase music thunders in-between the gasps for air. 

As you grab the container and start to push, you mash the pause button. When the menu appears, you lean back in your chair and run your hands over your face. Your model pouts cutely while the real you whimpers. The mic barely picks it up.

You take a breath before groaning in fear and pain. “Guys. I don’t think I can do this…” Another groan as you trail off. “This game is so much. Give me a second.”

As you raise yourself back from your chair, it’s with a slump forward. Your chat is full of headpat emotes and hearts in your color, along with some quick words of courage. A few are recommending you take a break. “Thanks, Bookworms. I’m so afraid, but I’m committed and I don’t want to just leave it here.”

Your eyes flutter closed as you take a sip of water to clear your head. The cold drink startles you out of the dingy asylum atmosphere, but the screaming still lingers between your ears. “You know what? Who else is online right now? Maybe I need someone in VC to hold me to this.”

The emojis in chat slowly patter out as your viewers go back to text. Looks like most of your Bookworms like the idea of calling someone else while you stream the game. Some of their messages catch your eye. 

gatamiizuus: you can call ike :ReaderHeadpat: 

messXed-up!: ike!!

lunasmortas: what about ike?

A few more chats mention Ike, and while usually you’d be irritated they mentioned another liver out of the blue, your shoulders still relax at the sight of his name. “Wait, Ike? Is Ike here?”

You scroll back in the chat history, and search for any mod messages. Sure enough, barely a minute ago while you were still being chased:

Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : GANBARE!

You cling onto that message like a lifeline. Ike is familiar. Ike is comforting. And most importantly, Ike would never call you a pussy.

Chat floods over with his name while you check the official Nijisanji Discord server. Almost everyone in Nijisanji sets their status to offline by default, and Ike is one of them, but you still scan through the member list anyways, praying a little green indicator will light up by his icon.

His status doesn’t change, but before you can even click on his profile, your Direct Messages tab gains a notification. He just messaged you.

Ike Eveland: Watching your stream right now

Ike Eveland: Are you okay?

You exhale. Ike is the most dependable guy you know, even when it’s pure coincidence he was watching your stream while you freaked out. 

With your heart still in your throat, you respond.

Me: uuuuuuugh i guess

Me: the game is really scary

Me: i don’t want to cancel the stream but i don’t think i can play it by myself 😭

Ike Eveland: 🫂    | 🫂 1 |

Ike Eveland: Would you feel better if I called you?

Me: i was just about to ask    | 👌 1 |

Me: you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!! i don’t want to be a nuisance lol

Ike Eveland: Don’t worry I offered to!

Ike Eveland started a voice call.

“Ikeee!” The second the call starts, all your restraint goes forgotten. “Ike, I was so scared!”

You babble on about everything you’ve endured up to this point: the gore, the grime, and the patients in the asylum that hunt you like animals. 

 “I’m here, it’s alright now,” he assures you. “I’m here, okay? Take your time, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m relieved. But it was so scary.” You sink and bury yourself in the collar of your shirt. “You’ve streamed this before, and kept a cool head the entire time, right? How do you do it?”

“Well, it wasn’t my first time playing, for starters. Everyone gets freaked out at first. It’s a horror game, Reader, it’s okay to react to it. I remember the first time I played it, it scared me so bad I had to quit after half an hour.” He giggles a bit at himself. The sound is comforting. “That was a few years ago. I think I had nightmares about it, until I realized I needed to know the rest of the story. ”

Your voice is small. “That was really brave of you.”

“I avoided it for days. I doubt that’s brave.”

“It’s braver than calling someone just to get the guts to play the game.”

“Hey, don’t put my friend Reader down just to bring me up.” He keeps his tone light to let you know you’re allowed to smile. “Being able to face your fears is plenty on its own, and you shouldn’t be devaluing that. How long have you been at it?”

“A little over two hours?” You glance at the stream monitor, and ignore the chat as much as you can. You still register the hearts in your color and his signature blue. “I don’t know. I did a lot of pausing, too, so it’s probably less than that…”

“But you were still able to stream for that long. Remember, I could only play for thirty minutes during my first time! You’re stronger than you think you are.”

You avert your eyes from your stream setup. You feel painfully seen, but the chat is nothing to you. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“Then I’ll be here to remind you. Is that okay?”

“I’d like that.” You return to the screen, and in the darkness of the blurred labyrinth, you see your reflection stare back. Your hair is disheveled from how you kept thrashing around in reaction to the game and your shoulders are high with tension, but only now did you realize how the corners of your lips rose after the call started. Ike really got to you. “Thank you, Ike, you’re so considerate. I appreciate you a lot. You’re a really good guy.”

He chuckles slowly, soft like a blanket. Your shoulders ease. Ike’s words are just as soft, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s nervous too. “Haha, um. Yeah. Thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, but they’re true, and you hope he knows it as well as you do. He clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, how are you feeling?”

“Not great, but better. I want to try again.”

“You’ve got this, Reader, you can do it.” Ike is still quiet, but enthusiastic. “You can do it!”

You go shaky. “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.”

But you still press Return To Game.

And when you scream barely five seconds later, Ike is still calm, and you hone in on his voice as you persevere.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Just as you go to bed, you realize that you basically just made a fool of yourself in front of your crush by getting scared at a game he’s already conquered. 

You slam a pillow over your face and groan.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Ike lands an all-out attack just in time to check the chat and the swarm of viewers that just joined. “Oh, Reader! Thank you for the raid, it’s good to see you! Welcome, everybody.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : take care of my bookworms for me? i’m getting milk

“Of course. They’re our Quillworms, after all.” You go fuzzy. He remembered the fan name! “Have a good break, Reader! Rest well.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 👍

It was the end of the week, and the stream you just finished was the last on your schedule. You announced a few days ago that you would take a break for a little more than two weeks so you could catch up on offline work as well as rest, and the Bookworms sent you off with a lot of love. It’ll be hard for some of your diehard fans, but you’re sure they’ll manage. You have a feeling it’ll be easier than they expect. 

“Speaking of breaks, I haven’t finished my schedule yet. I think I’ll wait a day or two to post it.” The stream cracks in red and black as Ike’s party in Persona 5 Royal clobbers the enemy Shadows. Monsters bleed out behind the protagonist’s cocky smirk. “I’ll be offline for the next two days, so I’ll have some time to think about it.”

Ike mashes through the battle results, and sets back off into exploring the palace. His stream fades into background noise as you get back to the task at hand. 

You sent a few messages to some of your other coworkers regarding your break. Next was finishing some paperwork for management, and reaching out to others that needed access to the files. Sure, your time off was for offline work, but the work you had to get done would only take an afternoon at most. You wanted to meet even the far-off deadlines as soon as possible so you could be properly free for the rest of your vacation.

By the time you finished your paperwork, your coworkers were able to respond to you. A group chat full of other livers had a new response every minute about the next two weeks, and Aia sent you a QR code that would let you save some time and money on your flight. 

Ike ended yet another super-long P5R stream just a few minutes after you grabbed all your luggage, got to the airport, and made it to your terminal. You had some time to kill, but you were sick of the headphones over your ears.

Not to mention, you were waiting for the fans to catch up on the real reason why you were on break.

Curiously, you log into your private Twitter—you don’t plan to interact with anything but you’re always paranoid about your online presence—and start searching for the code words fans think Vtubers have no idea about. Symbols replace letters and names morph into sounds while emojis speak volumes.  

The Stargazers don’t mention it at all. That’s to be expected, after all. Their oshi goes on break often, so nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Besides, you wouldn’t put it past them to have even more intricate subtweets than what you’re looking for.

Only a few of Nina’s Honeybunnies put the pieces together at first, but then you check Quilldren subtweets. As it turns out, when Ike mentioned he’d be taking a few days off, a few of his fans noticed how Nina was going to be offline at the same time, and a smaller fraction of those compared how Mika had yet to release a schedule. 

Underneath your face mask, you smile. With the career being dependent on both anonymity and your voice, you wore a nondescript black mask through the entire airport in case someone recognized you, just as well as to hide the tiny giggle that always bubbles up whenever you watch your fans scramble around theorizing. They don’t have all the pieces, after all. None of the Aiadmirers nor the Renvaders even considered it.

They’ll figure it out in time nonetheless. Uki and Nina are close to landing, and Aia was the first to disembark her plane. The rest of your friends are set to arrive after you, and besides, Vox should be ending his last stream of the week right now. You’re sure the Kindred will start plotting in the next hour, provided their oshi didn’t give them too big of a hint about his plans for the next week as he’s known to do.

You board your plane and settle into your seat, ready to nap the flight away. You’ll need the rest, after all. It’s about time you join an off-collab.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Nina doesn’t even get the chance to look away from her phone before she gets a rush of replies on her first voice tweet.

She doesn’t bother to read them anyways. She’s too busy howling out the lyrics to “Wannabe.”

It’ll be hard to discern all the voices. Ike’s high range is always easy to pick out, but Vox blends in as a bass, and you can always hear Mika’s grin through her singing. Ren and Aia are the furthest from the phone, and as loud as they sing, they’re still drowned out along with you, Uki, and Nina herself.

Mika chooses the wrong time to look around the karaoke booth. While Aia sings passionately about what she wants (what she really, really wants), her body language crumples and rises like an electrocuted high school theater kid. The ghost has a hiccuping, sweeping laugh that overpowers half of the singers, and then Aia snorts at herself when Mika covers her mouth, which gets Vox to snort even louder, and before you know it, it’s just Uki and Nina doing their damndest not to break. Even then, Nina’s voice wavers along to the Spice Girls as she resists a laugh, and Uki’s eyes are squeezed shut smiling.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The bar stool slides out from the counter so quietly that you wonder if the Airbnb owner knew just how handy it would be for a house full of streamers on vacation. You lean forward while Mika tells a story about how she, Aia, Ren and you went out for a coffee run, and crossed paths with some teenagers with matching Iluna keychains on their backpacks. 

Speaking of Iluna, their represents sat together on the couch. Aia set her plate and fork on the coffee table, not a single pool of sauce left over from the pasta dinner Vox and Uki prepared together. Somehow Ren made enough room in his luggage to bring along a teal ukulele, and idly strums along. Uki sits between Ren and the armrest, swirling the last of his pasta between his fork.

Across from them, Vox and Nina took ownership of two plush chairs that could only fit one person each. Each chair was next to a corner table, and they stacked their plates on top of one another to make room for a jug of orange juice and two cocktail glasses. Ike took a bottle of rum and poured it into his soda, then slid it back to the corner table before pulling up the bar stool next to you. 

“It was like, one of them had a clear phone case and held it out to show the others a video,” Mika says. She perched on top of the counter itself, next to her travel microphone and the second-nastiest kitchen stream setup you’ve ever seen. She was no Scarle, but so many wires stretched across the island and along the way that it was just easier for her to climb onto the polished granite to keep an eye on the chat. “Smack-dab in the center was a PNG of Vox. And then a bunch of tinier Voxes around it. And here’s how you know it’s bad, you could see the color of the phone itself through the case because it’s clear, right? It was red. Red! That’s commitment!”

“I’m telling you, Mika, there’s no way they got a red phone just because of Vox,” Aia says. “That’s got to be a coincidence.”

Vox hums into his glass. “No, they absolutely did. You mean to tell me your fans don’t spoil you rotten and buy new phones just because they’re your color?”

“My color is white, Vox, like every phone ever is my color!”

“Still, I’ve never seen Aia go so quiet so fast.” Ren’s ukulele twangs as he grins. His fangs were just as prominent in real life. “It was awesome.”

“It was scary, but funny,” you say. “We saw the Vox case and the Iluna keychains, and all of us just went silent. And we all had masks, too, so it was like, one moment you could hear Ren’s fuckboy laugh, and the second we saw the case, we all put up our masks and went quieter than the grave.”

Ren palms the neck of the ukulele and mutes the chord in mock offense. “Hey! I’m not a fuckboy!”

“Didn’t say you were, but if you want to out yourself like that, be my guest. They’d chop off your horns and sell them like Kyo.”

“One of them had an Aster keychain.” Ren bitterly resumes playing. Uki sets his plate on the table and drapes himself over the alien’s shoulder as he opened up his phone to check the off-collab’s live tag. The stream was supposed to be a live Q&A, but was so easy to talk to everyone that the questions often turned into conversation before someone remembered the stream. “If Aia or I said anything, we’d be fucked.”

“Imagine how fucked we would’ve been if Vox woke up in time to go with us,” you say.

Ike snickers. “Is it bad that I would’ve paid money to see that?”

The two Luxiem members get into a playful argument over who would win in a fight: all the effort Nijisanji and its employees put into protecting their privacy, or one silly phone case. Ren’s riffing turns into a simple rendition of “Iris” and Nina hums along from across the living room. The ukulele is slow and unique enough to not be mistaken for the original, but you wonder if those two would be able to avoid copyright entirely.

Nonetheless, the vibe is comfortable. You’re miles away from home, but in a room with some of your closest friends in the world, it’s like you never left. Truthfully, it’s more like you’ve finally found your place. The music just feels right, like it was written for this moment, and Aia leans back into the couch while Nina sways in her seat to the jaunty little ukulele. Ren looks as cheery as his instrument sounds, especially with a peaceful Uki nuzzled up to him. 

While Ike and Vox go at it, Mika props her chin up with both hands and watches them like a reality TV show. There’s a glint in Vox’s eyes as Ike drums up a snide response, the only sane man to the demon’s goofiness. He brings his rum and coke to his lips like punctuation, a silent so, what? hidden in the boozy soda. 

Vox knows how to run his mouth, and he launches into one of his patented anecdotes. While all eyes are on the demon and the chat hones in on his voice, you focus on how Ike tilts his head up to drink. His neck stretches out from the collar of his black band tee, and with each sip, his Adam’s apple bobs. 

You’ve always thought he was good-looking on stream, but he’s gorgeous in person, all long lines and graceful features, and cameras can’t capture the tiny little freckles drizzled down the back of his neck. You didn’t even know he had freckles. It was only after you saw him for the first time that you noticed pale, reddish dots all over his nose and cheeks, fading out by his temples and the arch of his lips. Spending the day walking around in the sun from place to place revealed more whenever the wind flicked his jacket collar out right. They scatter at his nape, right below the blue tips of his hair, and meet one another further down his back, or so you’d presume. Without the jacket, you can catch marks spread out along his arms with distance between one another, and his shirt sleeve starts right where the freckles cluster together. You can only imagine how far down they go.

You avert your eyes. You can’t think about what’s under the shirt when you’re sitting right next to him, and certainly not while on stream, even if chat can’t see you check him out!

Unfortunately, the side opposite of Ike is the one with Ren and Uki. Those two are idyllic. Without a care in the world, it seems. You envy how easily Uki can act on what he wants, even if you know he doesn’t see Ren like how you see Ike. Ren doesn’t mind it at all, either. He literally lives by the rhythm of his own ukulele. 

Ike lowers his drink with his eyes closed, as if it would make the refreshing feeling last longer. His eyelashes are the same ashen color as his hair. Gold gleams between his ears and on the chain of his glasses.

Possessed by the music, and distracted by the rambling, you become one with the background and lean along Ike’s arm.

It’s an indulgent dip into the waters, but shallow compared to all you feel for him. Ever since you met Ike in person it’s been easier to control yourself around him, and if anything, you’re reminded that this is the man you’ve gotten the closest to in both career and friendship. The only barrier between your cheek and his body is his shirt sleeve, but your arm rests against his forearm, right where the freckles taper off. There’s no resistance at all as you make yourself comfortable in the crook of his arm. 

But you hold yourself back. Even though the off-collab made you feel gutsier than before, you think that you’d pass out if you tried anything else. Besides, you feel so at peace against his arm, but too afraid to look up and see his reaction. 

The blend of peace and fear churns in your heart as it dawns on you: you were wrong to call this a crush. It runs far deeper than you could’ve imagined.

Vox says something with finality. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, but the words go unregistered. As he spoke, his eyes drifted around with his body language, but he snaps to look at Ike expectantly. You swear his smirk gets a little more mischievous as he does. 

The air stills, even though you know eyes aren’t on you, just the man you lean on. It stays frozen as Ike waits to respond. You still don’t have the heart to look up at him and break your selfish, unrequited fantasy.

You just want to stay here, unresisted.

Ike deadpans. “Anyways.”

Just like that, the moment is over, and Mika laughing at Vox striking out clears the air around you. But Vox’s eyes fall to you for just a split second as he moves in his seat. Frost settles down your back at the thought that he knows, but there’s a solid chance he hasn’t connected the dots. You pray he hasn’t.

Then you see Fox Mom herself right behind him, and she shoots you a shit-eating grin with a hand over her heart and a glass in the other. 

No doubt about it. You’re screwed. 

The frost turns to glaciers and burns into hot shame all at once. You love Nina, you really do, and you’d always consider her a good friend before coworker. However, she’s known for fishing around for any crumb of fanservice, and she gets straight to the point whenever she eggs it on, not to mention how she loves to tease her kids on just about anything. You are never going to hear the end of this if she can help it.

You really don’t know what you expected. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, even the chat. You can’t help but feel bitter. How come Uki can flirt with as many guys as he wants, you wonder, but I can’t even touch Ike without getting eyed up? 

You know the answer, but it doesn’t do anything to help the bitterness and the embarrassment, and how much you want to hide. On instinct, you take advantage of the warmth and nestle yourself deeper into Ike to hide your face, just in time as he curls his head above yours.

Nina makes a sound kind of like a fork stuck in the garbage disposal for the briefest of moments before smashing her lips together and bringing her glass to her mouth like a mute button. As if you didn’t feel seen enough. 

“Find any other questions, Uki-senpai?” Aia’s nose is buried in her phone, and God, you could kiss her for changing the subject. As much as she poked fun about you about Ike, she was still a total angel and a ride-or-die all at once. 

“Oh, I have questions,” Uki says. Luckily, he’s graceful enough to leave it at that. “Twitter wants to know first impressions for everyone that hasn’t off-collabed before.”

Ren speaks. “I think the only person I’ve done an off-collab with before is Nina, so is it cool if I go first?”

Aia gestures for him to go on. She’s still stuck on her phone as he continues.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it. Then again and again and again, and when you finally check it, you understand why. When Aia, Mika and Alban first heard you spill your feelings for Ike, they made a group chat dedicated to wingmanning—or at least, that’s what they pitched it as. They tease you more than anything else, and as irritating as it gets… you have to admit, it’s nice to confide in them, and nice to know they wouldn’t hold it against you.

Anyways, Alban’s going apeshit. 

Group Chat: 💙 PENANDPAPER REAL 2K4EVER 💕 (4 Members)

Aia Amare: image.png    | 📌 2 |

Alban Knox: AKDHSLSJDKSHSA

Alban Knox: AASDFSDF

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: HAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: 💕💕💕💙💕💙💕💙💙💙💕💙💕💕💙

Alban Knox: 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Alban Knox: HOW ARE YOU GUYSS NOT LOSING YUOR MINDSA BOUT THIS

Aia Amare: I AM

Me: omfg did you seriously get a picture of us 

Alban Knox: WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGG DONT CHDCK THIS GC    | 👆 1 |

Me: wtf did you expect you’re spamming 

Alban Knox: YOU AR ELITERALLY CUDDLNG GO FOCUS ON THAY JOT US

Me: we are not cuddling

Alban Knox: YOU ARE

Aia Amare: YOU ARE

Mika Melatika pinned a message.     | 🖕 1 |

Me: mika wth you too? 😭 

Mika Melatika: image.png

Me: did you srsly take a selfie with us in the background

Mika Melatika: YES this needs to be immortalized

Me: you people suck    | 🥰 3 |

Alban Knox: GET THAT NOVELIST BUSSY!!!!

Aia Amare: As if you aren’t about to save that picture yourself~

Alban Knox: NOVELUSSY!!!!!!!!!

Fuck, she got you there. You cast a pointed look at the angelic maiden herself, or at least as pointed as you can be with a man you’re scared to love wrapped around you. She looks as satisfied as a cat pushing a glass off a counter. 

You set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and placed it behind you on the counter with a huff.

“Reader, honey, how about you?” Nina leans forward, half-lidded and as sultry as ever. She swirled her drink around in its glass. “It’s your first off-collab ever, right? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

“Oh, well, um.” Your brain struggles to catch up. “First impressions, right…”

Aia slips you a thumbs up. You’re going to rip her a new one after this. Her, and Mika, and definitely Nina; this is the most subtle Nina’s ever been but you can tell she’s fishing for an answer here. You can take your friends figuring it out, embarrassing as it is, but you are not about to expose yourself to thousands of live viewers. 

“It’s kind of crazy actually meeting up with everyone,” you start. “I’ve known them for so long, but all online, and being able to match the voice to the face in real life, I don’t think I can actually describe it. It’s kind of surreal, but it feels so nice to just talk to them in person. Aia, Nina and Uki were the first people I met up with, and man, those three are a sight. I know everyone says it, but Uki is absolutely the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Nina and Aia are really pretty, too. Hey, Aiadmirers, did you know when your oshi laughs, she looks just as cute as she sounds?”

Aia yells. “Reader, shut up!”

“Then stop being so cute all the time, you dork!” 

“I’m not a dork! I’m cool!”

You resume, satisfied with your revenge. “Mika and Vox are both really chill. They’re kind of quiet, so if you’re just walking by, you’d think they’re two normal people just going about their days. But whenever we talk it’s always something insane. Vox sounds like a dignified gentleman and Mika is kind of like that cool girl that you want to be friends with, but if you actually pay attention, Mika’s showing Vox a picture of her insides during surgery while he’s reciting something about the Bite of ‘87. And Ren is probably one of the most straightforward people you’ll ever see. He’s so optimistic, and really expressive, too, even though most of the expressions are all different types of smiles.”

“What’s your impression of Ike?” Nina asks.

What does she expect you to say to that one, that screens can’t capture how the sun glitters through his glassy green eyes? Hearing him say your name in-person sends shockwaves through your body? How you want to kiss every little freckle he’s never mentioned before and keeps hidden under long sleeves, even though it’s the beautiful skin he lives in daily?

“Same old Ike. He’s exactly like how I expected,” you say. A total fib. 

She cocks her head. “Really? Even after all the time you’ve spent together?”

“I’m trying to hang out with everyone.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Cornered. Nina takes a long, slow drink from her glass as you scramble for a quick answer that won’t immediately out you. “Whenever I talk to Ike, he’s really emotive. You can tell what he’s thinking before he says anything. He also has a good sense of style, so he’s fun to go shopping with, and honestly, fun to do anything with. He’s someone you can always have a good time with, and always makes you feel so comfortable around him. Ike’s magnetic.”

Mika muffles a coo behind you. You’re going to kill her if you survive this stream.

“That’s very sweet, Reader,” Nina replies. “Hear that, Ike?”

“Yes, I did.” He sounds strained.

“Got any feelings about it?”

“Yes? I mean—er, thanks?” You feel Ike’s head rustle. “I, umm. What am I supposed to say about that?”

“I don’t know. I just think that about you, that’s all…”

“Aww, cute. I love that you love each other,” Nina muses. 

Ike spits out, “It’s not like that!” Just as you admit, “Yeah, I guess so.”

You process his words too late, though, and even as you sputter the ukulele music cuts out just in time with Nina and Mika’s unfiltered fangirl squeals. Ren’s palms mute the chord as his eyes go wide. Aia is already on her phone with her jaw to the floor and Uki throws a look at Nina while he mouths, did that just happen? 

“I-I mean!” Your throat goes dry and Ike lurches away from you when Vox gleefully shakes Nina like a rag doll. “I—wh—Ike, I mean, of course I love you—“ Mika screams again— “As a friend!”

When you turn to face Ike, he’s curled up into a ball on the barstool with his shirt collar over his face. Even as you feel the blood rush to your face, you keep shouting. That’s all you have left. You’re live. “Like, we’re best friends on and off stream and I love you!”

He mutters something, but you can’t tell what. Only his neck and the tips of his ears poke out from his shirt. Were they always that red?

You repeat yourself. “I said, we’re best friends and I love you, so much!”

“And I said, I know, thank you, I love you too, Reader!” Ike jerks out to face you as he cries. He looks like a tomato. 

Then he buries his face into his hands and squeaks like how he always does when something’s too cute to handle, or he’s got too many emotions he needs to let out. “You can’t see me, I’m too embarrassed. I’m hiding forever and I’m never coming out.”

You hope the ground swallows you up and you never have to confront this moment again. 

Uki hisses under his breath and muffles Ren's ukulele. You don't know what he said, but you realize all too late that the alien prince himself was laying down the first few notes of “Fly Me To The Moon.”

While you slump and fold your arms over your face on the counter in pure embarrassment, Aia stands up and commandeers the mic. She slaps a hand over Mika’s mouth to muffle the scream. “Man, bummer that Ike-senpai is gone from us forever, but you know what else might be gone forever if you don’t get it now? The sponsor for this stream, our current limited-edition Nijisanji voice packs!”

And as much as you could kiss her yet again for changing the subject, you can’t get over how everything blew up in the last five minutes, and groan into your arms instead. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The stream passed, luckily, without a hitch after that. No one asked any questions, but it was pretty damn clear everyone in the room had an idea of what just happened, and the impending shitstorm. In fact, it was so clear that when you stalked off to your room to sulk, no one made a fuss, and when you realized ten minutes into your sulking session that you left your phone on the counter, you figured it wasn’t worth it to show your face again until after you finished your pity party. 

The entire time, you laid in your bed with a pillow over your face so you could pretend like you were being absorbed into the sweet embrace of death. Overdramatic, sure, but you figured you were justified. 

Without your phone, you had no way to check exactly how bad the fallout was on Twitter. The poor Pen and Paper tags were sure to be flooded with fans imagining a happy ending to that stint you’d never be able to experience yourself, like salt in the wound. Not to mention, it was a huge seven-person off-collab! It didn’t just end with the Pen and Paper fans. No, it would extend past the Bookworms and the Quilldren, and certainly to the rest of the fandoms with an oshi in this Airbnb. Maybe even the offshoot viewers who don’t regularly watch your content, but made an exception for the off-collab, or, you know, the ones who have no idea who you or Ike are but can’t get enough of the whole accidental-confession-live-on-stream thing. Forget Nina; the entire Vtuber community is never, ever, ever going to live this down. 

Ike sounded so distraught, too. You wanted to kick yourself for it. Not only did you make a fool of yourself, but he got caught in the crossfire just because you didn’t catch yourself slipping. Not like he’d reciprocate anyways. He’s always been bad at taking compliments, but you keep thinking about how embarrassed he was about you loving him. 

All your frustration and humiliation coursed through the darkness under your pillow, and you stew so bitterly that you don’t even dream when you fall asleep. 

You just wake up groggy and exhausted, but too restless to go back to sleep. You look out the window, and the stars have barely come out to play in the early night sky. 

As much as you’d hate to admit it, that impromptu nap made you tired of brooding. Besides, you can’t hide from your friends forever. Hopelessly in love or not, they’re still your friends, and even if you decided to stream during the trip, this off-collab was always about spending time with them instead of worrying over your online presence. 

It takes you half an hour to hype yourself up, but eventually, you open your door and step out into the hall. 

You can already hear voices further away in the Airbnb. You place one of them as Nina, and after her, a baritone that could only belong to Vox. 

“…Fuck Twitter, they’re going to forget about it in two weeks or less anyways.” You overhear as you walk down the hall of rooms and closer to the living room. You’ve heard Vox passionate before, but never this serious as well. “Besides, what exactly did they say?”

A mumble. You can’t place the words, but you bristle when you recognize the voice. That’s unmistakably Ike. 

“See? Again, I’m so sorry. I was out of line, and I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have interrogated them like that,” Nina says. “But you’re overthinking what they said.”

Another mumble. By now, you’re in the kitchen. You lift your phone from where you left it, and hold your fingers over the half of the screen where your notifications appear as you check the time. It’s barely 11 PM. 

The kitchen and living room are connected, with plenty of seating space all around. That was why Mika’s travel laptop was still on the counter and plugged into the wall from the stream earlier, but on the other side of the wall from the kitchen, you noticed an open window and silhouettes from it. Four people sat on the shallow roof overlooking the uneven ground plenty of feet under the building. A pair of fox ears twitch at the night wind as they watched the stars grow brighter in the sky. 

You look through the fridge. You’re peckish, but if you were to be honest with yourself, you’re trying to stay quiet for a reason. 

There’s a huff. “Oh my god, dude. Just tell Reader already.”

You stand up a little straighter. Mika was with them? Were they talking about you?

“There’s nothing to be said, Mika!” Ike huffs back. “I’m screwed anyways. Just drop it, okay? I don’t need this getting in the way of what was supposed to be just a normal trip.”

“You can’t keep running away forever. Just act like an adult and tell them. It’s going to be fine, I swear.”

“And how exactly do you know that?”

“Well…” Mika trails off. “I can’t say. I just know, okay?”

“Uh-huh. And I know I’m screwed.” The wind rustles outside. You stay motionless. “Just two weeks. Can I please just have two weeks where I don’t have to worry about this until the trip is over.”

It’s a question, but he says it with such exasperation that no one can consider any other answers. 

“Fine.” Nina relinquishes. “Have it your way. I’m just worried for you two.”

“It’s going to work out, Ike. But I’m tired.” Vox stifles a yawn. “Tomorrow is going to be better. Let it go for the night and come back to it once you’re in better shape, and just remember. It’s going to work out.”

“Thanks, Vox.”

“Now get in here.”

You hear shuffling fabric before the two men start yelling. Vox cackles while Ike cries through gritted teeth. “Dang it, Vox, I’m going to shove you off this roof!”

“Get ruffled, idiot! That’s your fault for trusting me!”

“I just wanted a hug!”

You snicker under your breath. Vox loves to ruffle Ike’s hair despite the latter’s protests, though he tends to accept it instead of shove him off like anyone else that would dare. Besides, as dreary as Ike sounded during that conversation, he nearly sounded like his old self as Vox and the others laughed.

“I think I’ll go too. Mommy needs her beauty sleep.”

“Mm, I’m still pretty awake. Wanna keep looking at the sky with me, Ike?”

“Sure. Here, Nina, let me move out of the way…”

Shuffling turns to footsteps, and brings you back to reality. You busy yourself looking through the paltry groceries.

The sound of footsteps gets louder and louder, until they become a hollow click on the hardwood floor. Nina crawls through the window, but stops in her tracks with a startled noise.

You turn around and nod as casually as possible. “Oh, hey, Nina.”

Vox is also halfway through the window, and his eyes go comically wide as he forgets how to move. “Oh. Hey. Reader. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah! Um!” Nina coughs long enough to make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?”

“Took a nap. Got hungry.” It’s not a lie. You grope around in the fridge and breathe a sigh of relief when you see a stick of string cheese in your hands. “You guys just hanging out?”

Nina nods. “Yeah, we were on the roof. It’s getting late, though. You should get some rest for tomorrow—“

Vox elbows her. “But not after looking at the sky for a little bit. It’s beautiful. Very clear. Romantic, even. The architects did a wonderful job placing this house right at the perfect angle to watch the stars rise. Did I mention it was romantic?”

You act natural and take a big bite out of the string cheese. “Once or twice. Is it the seniors’ bedtime?”

“You got me,” Vox says. 

“I love going to sleep early and giving my kids private time before bed to reflect and hold deep conversations with one another about their feelings,” Nina says. “And also nighttime face masks.”

“Woo, skincare, what she said.” 

“Hey, by the way, Reader, honey, did you hear anything we talked about?”

“No,” you lie.

“Cool,” Vox says. You eat the rest of the string cheese in one bite. “Good for you. And goodnight, Reader.” He dusts himself off before casting his golden gaze down at you. “Be nice, will you?”

Shivers go down your back. You have a feeling he’s referring to something unspoken. “I will.”

“That’s my sweet thing,” he purrs. “Anyways, I’m going the fuck to beddy bye. Honk shoo, Reader, don’t stay up too late.”

Vox struts off with dark hair flowing behind him and the scent of his aftershave in the air. He leaves you to stand awkwardly next to Nina. 

Suddenly, she takes you by your shoulders and forces you in front of her. You blurt out an unflattering startled noise before she gets right up in your face and stares dead into your eyes.  

“Please be good,” she says darkly. Was that a threat? “Please be so, so good to my baby.”

“I will,” you say, more out of fear than anything else.

She blinks once, then she’s back to the doting mother you know and love. She squeezes your shoulders. “Thank you, honey! Sweet dreams!”

And just like the Voice Demon before her, Nina bounds off to her room. 

Huh. That was weird. Nonetheless, you’re alone in the living room, and you can see the outline of Ike and Mika sitting on the roof in silence. 

You lightly knock on the side of the window. They both perk up at the sound. “Cool if I join you?”

Mika responds quickly. “Sure! Watch your step, Reader. The roof isn’t that steep but it would be awkward if you ate shit.”

“Agreed.” You step onto the tiling, and shift your body to match the angle. You feel like a newborn deer learning to walk. Luckily, Nina and Vox leaving meant that there was more than enough space for you right next to the window. 

Ike sits between you and Mika. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah…” 

‘Pretty’ is putting it mildly. The stars are so clear tonight, and scatter across the sky like sequins. The Airbnb was located further away from the heart of the city, so the darkness only amplified how bright the stars shone against the stark night. A breeze drags through the air and fallen leaves rustle between the grass. 

“This is so nice.” Comfort settles into you like the breeze in your hair. “I love it.”

Ike sighs. “Right? It’s so peaceful.”

“And there’s so many more stars out here than there are in the city.”

“It makes you want to just zone out and cool down.”

“Yeah, totally.” Mika coughs. “Huh! Cool! Well, I’m tired now. Just keep staying out here and enjoy the sky, I’m going to bed. Enjoy yourselves.”

Mika inelegantly shuffles around your bodies and slips back inside before either of you can properly tell her goodnight. 

Ike cocks his head as he watches her stumble through the window. “She just said she would stay out…”

“Hm?”

“Ah, nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

With the extra space, Ike leans back and lays along the roof. The stars cast a dreamy glow over his soft smile as he continues. “It really is something that just makes you want to have a deep conversation, or just think, you know?”

You hum in agreement. You get what he means, but there’s only one topic you can imagine having a deep conversation about right now, and it’s the very one you brooded over earlier that day. 

But Ike is Ike. He’s rational and calm and kind, and laughs at your stupid jokes, and texts you first before any of your other mutual friends. The night turns the tips of his hair bluer than usual, and the stars remind you of the freckles hidden along his creamy skin. His glasses reflect the galaxy above.

Even though today’s stream was embarrassing, you know Ike trusts you enough to tell you if you’ve ever crossed a boundary. After all, it’s commonplace to discuss limits on and off stream as soon as possible, and your friendship was so strong that you’ve both opened up to one another. He’d let you know if the whole cuddling thing was too much. Besides, he didn’t resist. He even rested his head on yours. That has to account for something, right?

You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a gentle tug on the sleeve of your hoodie. It’s Ike. He asks, “Lay down with me?”

A wave of fondness washes over you like the tide. He’s cute when he’s earnest like this. You get as comfortable as you can on the tiling, and when you still, you hear something shift before your hand grows warm. Ike scooted closer to you, and placed his pinky finger over yours. 

This is bliss. A beautiful sight with a beautiful boy next to you. Your best friend. 

“I do love you,” you say. 

It just feels right to say. 

Ike is silent. He doesn’t make a single sound as you stare up at the stars and the blackened sky. The breeze rocks a tree, and as the leaves part, you see the moon for the first time: one thin, waning crescent that blends into the darkness. 

Ike’s head is turned away from you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking at all. 

“…I don’t know what you mean,” he admits. “You do? As a friend?”

“We’ve always been friends.”

“Just that?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Ike.”

“N-never mind. I’m sorry, am I making it weird?”

“No, you could never make it weird.” The colors of the view gloss together. You feel like a balloon slowly deflating. “Feels like that’s all I’m doing lately, though.”

Neither of you say anything. 

This was a bad idea. 

You swear the rustling leaves mock you. 

“Wait.” Ike practically snatches your hand up. “Wait, Reader, are you saying you like me?”

“Yeah. I’m saying that I love you.”

Ike stares at you, and if you had to choose just one word to describe his expression, it’s stricken. His mouth is slightly parted, and his shocked eyes drive holes through your skin, leaving you exposed. The brief stutter that escapes him sounds like it was dredged out from frozen, murky waters. “I—”

He drops your hand and turns away. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, barely audible. “This is… this is a lot.”

“I’m sorry too, this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?” You get on your feet, but the slope makes what could’ve been a fluid motion into a stumbling, slow rise, as if your legs weren’t jelly enough already. You inch to the window mortified. “I think I should go. Sorry to bother you.”

You don’t dare to glance at him before you step back inside, not even when he calls your name halfway through the window.

Once you’re back in the living room, you cover your face, then drag your hands through your hair. You can’t even begin to describe how exhausted you feel. This is heartbreak, isn’t it?

You blink furiously, and the outline of a figure by the fridge comes into view. 

“Reader?” Mika asks. She has a stick of string cheese in her hand, but walks to you. “Reader, what happened—”

You take her empty hand and pace to your room. You open the door. “Are you okay?”

The second it shuts, your breath hitches. Mika doesn’t hesitate to take you in her arms. She holds you as the first tear falls, and you begin to cry.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You wake up the next day sprawled in your bed, even though the blankets are tucked comfortably around you. On the floor is a pillow and another pile of blankets, and when you recognize the dark hair tied into a loose ponytail, the memories of last night come rushing back.

What an awful night. Awful decisions all day, really, and all of them ones you made. You really don’t know what you were thinking. You groan at the memory.

“Reader?” Mika perks up. Her phone is in her hands, but she sits up level to your face on the floor. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

Another groan.

“Yeah, I figured,” she says. “Nina, Vox and Ike went out to do their own thing, and I think Ren and Uki are cafe-hopping. It’s just you, me and Aia in the house right now.”

You rub the sleepy out of your eyes. “That’s cool, I guess.” You cast a downward glance to Mika’s makeshift bed on the floor. “Sorry for being a nuisance.”

“You’re not a nuisance, Reader, don’t say that.” She nudges you. “We’re friends. It’s what friends do. Speaking of, do you want Aia to come by? And Alban’s online, so I can call him, too. If you want.”

“It’d be nice…”

Less than ten minutes pass before Aia shows up at your door with breakfast sandwiches and orange juice. All three of you sit on the blanketed floor while Mika voice calls Alban on her phone. A pot of coffee brews over speakerphone as you recount last night. 

“...And to make things worse, we just streamed yesterday,” you explain. “God, I should check Twitter. There’s got to be a million people with eyes on our ship tag, and ugh, I hate thinking about how many weirdos are going to push a ship that can’t work out IRL.”

“I can check it for you,” Aia offers. You hand her your phone. “You remember your Twitter password?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Sorry in advance.” She deletes the app off your home screen.

You begin to protest, but she turns off the phone and sets it aside, out of your reach. “You’re off the clock, Reader! Work troubles can wait until you’re back online, and that includes doomscrolling. You can redownload it when you’re in a better headspace.”

“I really hate admitting you’re right.”

“Shit, Reader,” Alban finally says. “He seriously dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I really thought he would get it, but it took him so long to piece it together, like he never thought about us like that before. I should’ve known it was just me. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, you’re hurt,” Mika says. “It’s understandable, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve it? I mean, I knew day one that this wouldn’t work out. We work together online, and we have fans that ship us with each other and the rest of this company, for fuck’s sake. Getting heartbroken was inevitable and I still went for it. Either I’m a glutton for pain or I’m just plain clueless.”

Alban’s voice is distant from the phone as he messes with his coffee maker. You can’t properly hear him under his breath and over the pot, but if you could, you could’ve heard him mumble, Trust me, you’re not the only clueless one here.

But he returns back at the phone, and you’re totally oblivious. “You can’t choose who you fall for,” he says. “It was really that bad?”

“It took him like a minute to realize I was confessing. And then when he realized it, he apologized to me.”

Aia straightens. “Did he say no?”

“Not really, but why would he apologize if he reciprocated?”

Aia exchanges a look with Mika. Alban grumbles. “No fucking way.”

“Tell me exactly how he reacted,” Aia instructs. She plowed through her sandwich during the conversation, but she left the remaining half on her plate forgotten as she laced her fingers together and leaned forward like a calculated boss. 

“It was like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying at first. He asked if I meant it as friends, until he asked me if I liked him. And when I told him I loved him in response, he was so shocked that he let go of my hand, so I left.”

“No fucking way,” Alban repeats, and groans as he drawls out his words. You can practically hear him drag his hands over his face. “No fucking way. Ikeeeee. He seriously dropped the ball.”

“I know. I can’t believe it.”

Aia takes both of your hands in her own. “Reader, I’m not even saying this to hurt you, but this is the clumsiest confession I’ve ever heard of.”

You squint. “Right, that makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m really not! You know what this sounds like? Miscommunication,” she declares. “You didn’t get a solid yes or no. So now it’s going to be awkward between you two until you get an actual answer to the confession, or at least some kind of resolution. You wanna know what I think? It sounds like he didn’t even believe what he was hearing before you left. Which, by the way, is a common response to not just confessions but other major news, so chances are you didn’t blow up your friendship as hard as you thought.”

“She has a point,” Alban says. “I believe you, Reader, but Ike isn’t the type of person to just crush other people’s feelings like that. You just woke up, right?”

“I haven’t even left my room yet. Mika says everyone else is out of the house. He’s with Vox and Nina, I think.”

“So then he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you since the confession,” he continues. “And those three are really close. I’m willing to bet they’re helping him manage it, ‘cause it sounds like he’s going through it just as confused as you are.”

You stare at the floor. Hope feels foreign, yet you can’t help but wonder. You struggle to remember the exact way Ike reacted last night, but you really can’t tell what facts were clouded over by the rejection. A rejection that possibly didn’t even happen, mind you. The confusion and regret blurs over everything like water on wet ink.

“You really think so?” You quietly ask.

Aia nods, and Alban agrees over the phone.

Mika pipes up, a glass of juice in her hands. “Here’s my take. We can theorize as much as we want, but none of us really know what Ike’s thinking about, least of all you. Especially since you didn’t actually resolve anything, and that tension is going to eat at you until you get an answer or it actually damages your friendship. You ask me, the next best thing you can do is bring it up.”

She takes a sip of her juice and leaves you to absorb her advice. 

You mull it over along with the memory of last night. “He called my name as I left.”

Alban chokes on his coffee. “He called your name?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t respond.”

“Oh my God. READER!” He shouts so loud that Mika turns the volume down. “I’m going to lose it. I’m actually freaking it right now. Reader!”

“What?”

“Fuck what Mika said earlier, you are stupid!”

“Hey!”

“I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, you are so stupid. He was trying to talk to you!”

Your face goes through a handful of emotions as you sputter. “Are you serious, Alban?”

“Yes! Mika, Aia, back me up.”

Aia crinkles her nose. “I did just say it sounded like a total miscommunication.”

Meanwhile, Mika twirls a lock of red-and-black hair between her finger, distracting herself. She hesitates, trying to figure out exactly how she wants to say her piece, before she simply shakes her head and stills. “Just talk to him.”

“Which is easier said than done.” Your shoulders roll back as you stare up at the ceiling, your hands supporting you as you lean. Even with your friends’ encouragement, the memory of how hard you blew it last night still haunts you. It’s even worse than starting at ground zero; you’ve already tasted failure once, and you’re hesitant to embarrass yourself again. 

That stricken look Ike gave you flashes across your sight every time you blink. What was he thinking when he stared at you like that? You can’t tell if the disgust is true or if your anxieties are getting the best of you.

The best solution to anxieties, however, is looking at the facts—or at least, what isn’t tainted by your bias. Your friends mentioned there was nothing wrong with a workplace romance, and as much as the stream made you want to cringe, no one seemed put off by it. Alban and Aia are set on getting you and Ike to talk, and so is Mika. In fact, Mika spoke with Ike as well as Vox and Nina last night before you entered, and even if you had no idea what those four were talking about, you still picked up your name and that apparently Ike had something to tell you.

Pieces start to fall into place when you consider the three around you, staging an intervention over a late breakfast. Aia always gets you in situations where you can be close to Ike and bails you out when it gets awkward, and as much as he won’t get off your back about it, Alban gave you great advice between all his teasing. Mika was nosy at first when she learned about your feelings, but now that you think about it, she’s been incredibly tactful ever since the off-collab began. 

You can’t help but snicker as you connect the dots. “Is this the first time you guys actually started wingmanning for me?”

Aia purses her lips. “Hey, not the first. Remember when we made that group chat? We’ve always been your wingmen.”

“I know. But you guys are seriously helping,” you say. “Thanks. Though I do wonder, Mika…”

She perks up as you say her name. “Be real with me. Do you know more than you’re letting on?”

She flinches. Alban’s fingers snap over the phone. “Busted.”

Mika holds her hands up like a criminal caught in the act, but there’s a loose, sly smile hanging on her face. “I don’t think it’s my place to say.”

“What do you mean, it’s not your place to say?”

“I’m sorry, Reader, but I made a promise not to spill, and I’ve been doing way too much behind the scenes to break the promise like that. Just do me a favor and talk to the guy, will you? That’s the best I can tell you.” Mika rests her head in a hand, and the smirk looks even more knowing. “And if you can’t figure it out after that, then you’re definitely stupid.”

You bluster. “I’m not stupid!” 

“Still remains to be seen.” Aia gently flicks your forehead. “But you do look a lot better. How are you feeling now?”

Aside from the fading pain on your forehead? You’re surprised at how much lighter you feel now that you unloaded all your worries with your friends. The rejection still stings, and you’re not exactly confident, but, well, you’re smiling. The clean, tangy taste of orange juice lingers between your tongue. Aia and Mika sitting on the pile of blankets reminds you that regardless of your love life, they’d stay by your side until the bitter end, and Alban’s voice keeps you connected with your friends no matter where in the world you are.

You snatch Aia’s half-eaten sandwich off her plate and sink your teeth into the bread. She cries out in protest. “Hey!”

“Better now.” You set the sandwich back where you found it. Even though your future with Ike looks cloudy, the smile doesn’t leave. “Don’t flick me.”

“Speaking of.” Mika picks up the phone and scrolls through her messages. “Nina just texted that she, Vox and Ike will come back in an hour or less. Reader, are you up for this?”

“What do you mean, ‘up for this?’”

“Just seeing Ike again. It was a weird night,” she says. “I stand by what I said, but if it’s going to be too much too soon, then Aia and I can cover for you until you feel better.”

“I don’t know.” That’s what gets your expression to sink from light to thoughtful. “I think I want to take your advice. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk it out yet.”

“Still wanna hang out with us or take a moment to yourself?”

“I think I’d just go back to moping if I was alone,” you joke.

“Cool. Let me go grab some nail polish Nina gave me yesterday.” Mika rises and strides to the door. “You have a steadier hand than me. And Nina said the color suits me more than her.”

Aia’s face lights up. She happily cries ”Girls’ night!” even though it’s barely noon and Alban is decidedly not a girl, but then he croons something in a valley girl accent so strong you can’t even tell what he’s saying. Scratch that; he’s a girl by association.

When he drawls out one long “Yaaaaaas, bestie!” you can’t help but laugh. Your love life is in shambles, but at least your friendships are solid as hell. You’d give the world for these three.

Mika returns a moment later, travel-sized nail supplies in her arms and a totally unrelated topic on the mind. The sharp scent of the lacquer startles you out of your thoughts as you uncap the bottle and Mika splays her hands out, and Alban and Aia air their opinions on something entertainingly dumb. 

Nina was right: this color is stunning on Mika. You paint Aia’s nails too, and halfway through her second hand, you hear the front door open, the end of an intelligible conversation, and telltale footsteps, each diverting across the house. The girls’ eyes flicker to you. You know they’re trying to read your expression, but you concentrate on how the brushstrokes pool together into one smooth coat. Your thoughts are a storm and you can’t even pick out the emotion commanding it. 

So you keep joking along instead and focus on the nail polish, refusing to give the storm an opportunity to strike. Alban quips off of you, and the moment passes as Mika and Aia return to the conversation. 

That is, until half an hour later when you hear a knock on the door. Mika cocks her head, a silent question, and when you nod she stands. Her nails dried when you finished Aia’s, and dot the doorknob as she cracks it open. A tiny margin of light from the hallway shines into your room, and you realize she positioned herself square in front of the threshold, shielding you from the person on the other side. 

She talks evenly. “Hey, welcome back.”

“Thanks. Is Reader here?”

Your mind thunders as you register the voice. You can only see the leg of his jeans behind Mika, but you recognize Ike’s voice on the other side. 

Aia shuffles by as a second shield. “Need them for something?”

“Kind of,” Ike says. “Do you mind if I talk to them?”

“I don’t know, what’s it about—“

“Aia, you can lay off him.” You call from your corner of the room. “You too, Mika.”

“Whatever you say. Just let me just grab my stuff…”

Mika grabs the nail supplies and deafens on Discord, but doesn’t even think to pick up the blankets along the ground. Instead, she glides to you and whispers under her breath. “We’re rooting for you. Send us a text if you need anything, okay?”

You nod. Aia slips past the threshold, but not without shooting you a thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck.’ Not even a second later, your phone buzzes, and you catch Alban’s contact sending you an encouraging message in all-caps. 

“See you later!” Aia chirps. “Play nice, you two.”

The scent of the lacquer follows them as they leave, and the sound of their footsteps fade in time. 

Still in the doorway, Ike raises a hand to fidget with the chain along his glasses. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Oh! Come in. Sit anywhere, I don’t mind.”

You stay planted on the floor like how you were with your friends, and Ike sits next to you. You face the wall in front while he gets comfortable.

No words are exchanged as Ike maneuvers around the blankets, and eventually settles down with his back on the floor and head resting on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The light is off, but the blinds filter in thin beams of sunlight that cross over the room and the edge of his collar like a grid. 

“Lay with me?” He asks. Then it strikes you like ringing metal; you sit next to each other in the same positions as that night on the roof. 

Suddenly Ike raises his hands like static. “Not that you have to! I just figured it would be good to get comfortable and all, you know?” Ike hastily explains, then clears his throat. “I wanted to talk. About last night, I mean.”

Your chest flutters at the mention of it, but you remember all your friends’ encouragement. Here he is, the novelist of your (heartbroken) dreams, already bringing up the topic you dread to mention. You need to take this chance to face it head-on, now or never. 

You glide down like the ceiling is full of stars. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“A lot, honestly. I don’t know how to go about it, but first of all, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You cross your arms. “You said that enough last night.”

“Not like that! I mean I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I think I made every wrong choice once you said that you… that.” He shovels a hand through his hair. “I’m making it weird again. I should apologize for that, too, it’s just kind of embarrassing saying out loud that you, um, you loved me. Not that you should be embarrassed. I mean, I get it if you are, but that took a lot of guts. You should be proud of that. I admire you for that.”

“Slow down. What are you even saying?”

“What I wish I said last night. More than anything else, I’m sorry I got caught off-guard. I must’ve been so standoffish, because my idiot brain just didn’t believe what I was hearing until it was too late and the damage was already done.” Hair the color of ash and ocean falls over his face. “Honestly, I can’t believe it now.”

“I get it. Bad idea from me. Can we move on from that yet?”

“I don’t think it was a bad idea at all. I just had no idea that you liked me.”

“Give me some time and I’ll get over it, eventually. I’m not going to let it get in the way of working with you, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”

“No, that’s not it either! I—“

Ike’s eyes squeeze shut. His voice is so quiet, you can’t discern what he’s saying. “…Actually, I’m…”

“Repeat that?”

“I’m happy. Really happy,” Ike says. His pitch rises like a balloon floating up into space, struggling to stay composed. “I’m not good at saying it, but I meant it when I said… when I said it during the stream.”

You wave a hand in the air. “It was weird timing, and I know you mean it like a friend,” you reply. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it, and just being friends is fine. Even though I’m a loser that messed up just about everything.”

The hand catches in midair. Doll-like fingers weave through your grasp, and turn your touch warm as Ike turns to look at you. “Not with me. Don’t say that about yourself, okay?” 

You stare at how easily he held your hand, and how his fingers cradle your heart between the palms. The corners of Ike’s eyes are narrowed, two beads of peridot stone that can see through every little line of text between your pages, but there’s gentleness under his glasses. Something uncertain and fluffy. Softened like a lamb even though he leaves you defenseless. 

You don’t know what to say. Ike is beautiful and kind and handsome and thoughtful when he’s earnest like this. He’s got you stupid in the head and wrapped around his pinky finger, and doesn’t have a single clue.

Peridot sparkles. “You’re so much more than that. You don’t mess things up, Reader. I’m in love with you.”

Your mouth goes dry and your tongue is still tied. Forget speechlessness; the man took your own damn thoughts away. Your hand remains frozen in air with Ike’s. If it weren’t for the light drag of one of his fingernails along your skin, then you would have figured he took your senses as well.

But the drag ends, and the fingers unlace themselves, and chilled air fills in the gaps Ike once held close. The tips of his fingers rest at the curve of your palm for just one second more before they drift away.

The glint in his eyes dulls. His hand falls to his chest, over his heart, just as slow as he parted. The uncertainty took over, and now it’s like staring at a cloud that doesn’t know if it should rain. Ike’s gaze lowers to his heart. There’s a stretch of silence and motionlessness as he stares at where your touch once was, and you’re paralyzed where you lay.

Ike's hand curls in on itself, too loose to make a fist, and his lashes sink over his eyes. His mouth is set into a flat line, but the cheeks are dusted in pinks and reds and peppered freckles in-between, demure and shy all the while.

He turns his face away soon after that. Another break of silence, and he shuffles again, with your vision on his back as if it were a hiding place.

It startles you out of your stupor. The gridded sunlight lets you analyze what you missed. After months of thinking your feelings would never be reciprocated, Ike thought of you just the same. He’s always been in your corner, and you would go to the ends of the earth for him, and everything is in its perfect position. But his back is still turned, and the memory of last night—your confession, and his inaction—it rushes to your head.

So you reach out instead.

Maybe it’s a little selfish. You’re tired of bumbling around and concealing your true feelings, and now that everything's out in the open, you aren’t about to let go without resolution.

But Ike is your best friend, and the man you fell in love with. There was no way you’d ever let go in the first place.

You wrap your arms around his back and hug Ike.

“I think I get why you were so taken aback last night,” you whisper. Even though you’re alone with Ike, you still say it like a secret. “I can barely believe it myself.”

Your warmth is inviting, and every second that passes is another defense downed. Your head perches right above his neck and along his shoulder. It’s not your first hug with Ike at all, but there’s only been so many since you first met him in person that it still feels special, and with your bodies flush to the floor, it’s intimate. His eyes are averted and one cheek lays down on the blankets, but the tips of his ears glow scarlet under his jewelry. 

“I’m glad you were patient with me. I really didn’t think I had a chance with you. You know, the long distance and the company, and you know, the standard pining fare. I’m really lucky.” A smile slips through your words. “I’ll stay with you, okay? So take all the time you need.”

Ike chuckles. Even his laughter is blushy-bashful. “I’m just so happy you feel the same, too. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

His body curls as he lays, and your legs brush along his as you cuddle. Holding him makes it feel like he was made to fit in your arms. You sigh. “I love when you can’t contain it. It’s so cute.” 

Ike squeaks at that, and unwittingly proves your point. “It feels so good to say that out loud. I mean, you’re okay with it, right?” A nod. “And you’re okay with… I don’t know. Are we still friends?”

“Of course we are, no matter what. You said you loved me first, so let me say this one?” 

You have a feeling you know what’s coming next. You hug him even tighter.

“Reader, let’s go out. I don’t want this feeling to end,” he confesses, and your world turns into rose and blush. “Can we?”

Though you expected it, he still takes your breath away—until he taps you on the hand. “Come on, say something before my heart explodes!”

“Mine already did! I can’t even think straight, and—I’d love that. I really want this.”

Another squeal breaks out as Ike buries his head into a blanket, and your heart soars as he melts. He resembles a swaddled-up kitten, and the rays of sunlight line his silhouette. The fluffy blanket reminds you of an angel’s downy wings along his kitten features. You can’t even see his face between the blanket and his hair, but his squeal continues, muted through the blanket as he swoons. 

Somehow that only makes you feel even more flustered. “No, don’t hide! I want to see you!”

Maybe it would’ve been better for your heart if he stayed put, because when Ike rises—with disheveled hair and glitter in his eyes the color of seaglass, and jewelry that frames his red face, and that galaxy of freckles you hold so dear and shine like stars between his blush—you feel your heart stop. Again.

“When did you start having this effect on me?” You ask, mesmerized, and before you know it you thumb over one of his rosy cheeks. “Your freckles are so beautiful.”

He sheepishly grins. “They don’t really show up online. They’re pale.”

“Never noticed them until I met you in person. I love them. I love you.”

The grin gets a little wider. One of his fingers grazes along the corner of your ear. Has his hand always been along your jawline?

Ike’s eyes are shining under the grid of sunlight. The lashes flit just a bit lower from your gaze. “Reader, can we…?”

You close your eyes.

And when Ike’s lips graze your own, you smile on instinct before you remember to kiss back. 

Ike brings you near, searching for the taste of you as he continues. His touch lodges past your jawline and into your hair, and when one of the fingers grazes along your ear you’re reminded just how much you love Ike. All the yearning you hid for so long bleeds through as you sink down to his level with his head in your hand, gentle yet impassioned.

Then your face bumps against Ike’s glasses. The kiss breaks as you back away.

There’s a brief pause in the aftermath. Ike wordlessly adjusts his glasses, now knocked off-center. Despite finally getting on the same page on your relationship with Ike, you’re still as clumsy about your feelings as ever.

But the corners of your lips curve up as he inspects the lens you squished, then a barely-stifled giggle, and next thing you know, Ike’s laughing along with you, still underneath your body and with one hand in your hair while the other holds his glasses in place. He sounds as charming as he looks, and the fact that he joined you even when you chuckled out of the blue means that his mind is just as charming as well.

Not that it was breaking news. You know your best friend well, and now that you don’t need to deny your feelings any longer, you know you’ve got good taste if Ike’s under you with crinkled eyes and hearty laughter.

When you speak next, the giggles patter out between your words but the quiet delight hangs in your teeth. “Can we try that again?”

Then his lips are on yours again, and the laughter twists between the second kiss, and the third, and the fourth, all the way until you collapse on the blankets with arms around each other, staring up at the stars on the bland popcorn ceiling as adoration fills the space between you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

bonus.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Starting soon…

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The chat flickers alive as a four-pointed flower, a diamond, and a thorned heart give way to the stream and the novelist behind the stinger. 

Kaidororero: welcome back ike!

Min (Ikey’s Book): 💙 IKEY IS BACK 💙

A normal broom: HI IKE

lunasmortas: 💙💙💙

viperip: ike! :_heart: :_heart: :_heart:

Sun shines through a clear day in Ike’s room onscreen, but in reality, blackout curtains block out the day outside. A sweet smile graces both Ike’s face and his model as the Quilldren welcome him home. 

He greets them, and cracks open a can of soda as he quickly scans through the chat. Obviously, the off-collab is on everyone’s minds. 

juuuuuuuuuus: did you have fun?

Kaidororero: offcollab POOOG

lunasmortas: SO CUTE :_heart: :heart:

Johnclone: Hope you had a good time!

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER REAL

Hm. A mod will eventually bonk that message. But then again, it’s inevitable that the ship would come up in chat. 

Ike takes it in stride and ignores it like any other shipper, but his heart still skips a beat. Nonetheless, he doesn’t call any attention to it. “How about that off-collab, right? I met up with my friends! Where do I even begin?”

Ike recounts his trip from the beginning, and the Quilldren react to his stories with interest. He was one of the last to arrive, so Nina, Uki and Reader picked him up from the airport, and met up with Aia, Ren, and Mika at the Airbnb. Vox was the only one to arrive after him, hot off the heels of a flight delay, but the demon was a welcome party all his own despite his exhaustion. 

“We went to karaoke once Vox got situated,” Ike explains. “Nina put that song in first so we could all let loose, and so she would have a fun voice tweet for everyone. Might as well confirm everyone that showed up, right?

“But after that, we didn’t want to stress ourselves out to perform for voice tweets instead of just having fun, so that was the only song we recorded. I wish you could’ve heard Uki and Vox’s duet, though. And while we were singing, turns out Ren packed a ukulele with him! Sometimes he would learn how to play along by ear, like a jam session. Mika knows how to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ too, so everyone joined in singing that while she played it. It was so much fun.”

Johnclone: Everyone sounded great!

sunblast99: uki’s voice >>>>>> everything else 💜💙

haabinae: :_tskr:

Festersk: WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT 🗣🗣

A normal broom: what did you sing?

Ike leans back in his chair. He blows a lock of hair out of his sight as he tries to think. “I remember Vox sang something by George Strait, so then we all egged him on to sing ‘Country Roads.’ He only did it once I promised to queue up ‘Toxicity’ by System of a Down afterwards.”

lunasmortas: OMG 💙💙💙

gatamiizuus: ayo?

Y A M: YESSSSSSS :_tskr: :_tskr:

haabinae: I LOVE SOAD :_fanboy:

Thornmy: SO COOL 💙

“Thank you.” He says it out of obligation. If he thinks too hard about the compliments, he’ll get embarrassed. “What else was there? I think there was some Motionless in White, and Spiritbox. Oh, and My First Story. Can’t forget My First Story.”

K. K. Soda: ooooo

Alban Knox 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : what about mcr

asper ch.: METAL SCREAM?

deeboorgur: HI ALBAN

Y A M: MCR YEAAAAA  :_glowstick_1: :_glowstick_2:

“I’m getting there, Alban!” 

Ike takes a sip while the Quilldren greet Alban. He’s not too surprised Alban seems to know more than the other viewers. He’s close with almost everyone that went on the trip, and was super active on Discord during the off-collab. The novelist lowers his soda as the chat floods in orange hearts. He wonders how Alban learned so much as an observer. He should ask. 

But that’s a question for after stream. Ike continues. “Thank Nina for that. She queued up ‘I’m Not Okay’ by My Chemical Romance, and then shoved two mics in my hands and Reader’s.”

And the chat explodes. 

Kaidororero: OMGGGGGG 💙💕

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER SO CUTE :_tskr:

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER DUET

asper ch.: AYOOOO MCR

gatamiizuus: I LOVE READER

ystariya: PEN AND PAPER MY BELOVED

“It’s a really fun song! It’s almost all clean vocals, but there’s this scream in the middle. Up until then, we sang together, but then I screamed, and Reader picked up the slack and sang the parts of the verse I couldn’t. They’re amazing.”

gatamiizuus: READER SIMPS COME GET Y’ALL’S JUICE

Thornmy: THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD

lunasmortas: 💙💕💙💕

ystariya: READER KARAOKE STREAM WHEN

Kaidororero: AWWWWWWW

The model on the screen doesn’t have the same glint in Ike’s eye when he talks about you. That first day of the trip was all about getting comfortable after long travel hours, and the stories went on as the days went by. Sightseeing with Aia and shopping with Uki by day, and spending the night shooting the shit with Ren until it turns into the littlest hours of the morning.

“Vox wanted to try a bunch of different restaurants with me, but you know me, ya boi is not good with most foods. So Nina usually came along in case I couldn’t finish something. She and Vox would share my leftovers.”

Something fond crosses over Ike’s face. His eyes cloud over in fog descending over a clear-sky day. “We would always talk over food about anything. I appreciate it a lot. They really get me.” The fog stills. “And over breakfast one morning, they gave me some excellent advice over something I’ve been meaning to do.”

ver*batim: ❤️💙❤️

K. K. Soda: MILORDDDDD

nroneo: :_heart:

A normal broom: upcoming project? 👀 

Johnclone: I love Nina Kosaka!

“Not a project, no. It was something I was really worried about, even when I was supposed to be taking a break with my friends,” he says. “But those two seriously helped me clear my head about it. Mika, too. Vox and Nina had a lot of nuanced advice, but Mika told it to me straight, and helped handle what I couldn’t. I’m really thankful to have them.”

His set jaw loosens. “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day.”

The model cocks to the side. Motion blurs the foggy sobriety away. With a lightness to his voice and a knowing gaze, Ike looks straight into the camera and smiles, sentimentality forgotten. The air clears. “But for now, it’s a secret~!

“Ah, now where was I? Spending time with my friends, right? Reader and I hung out often. Sometimes with others, but it ended up being the two of us more than not.”

Birds chirp outside Ike’s window in time with the hum of his PC. The backlit keyboard in front of the monitors glows the same color as the computer, a healthy blue light that tints the tips of his fingers. He usually sets it to a rainbow spectrum in his own time, but static blue is reserved for going live. It gets him in the right mindset for streaming, and makes his little apartment feel fantastical like the noble background that accompanies his model, even if it only reaches his fingertips. 

He’s sure the Ike on the screen has fingertips tinged with blue just like him, an extension of the man outside the screen but without the grittier details. Smooth, pristine hands under gloves where his are callused from guitar playing. Nothing under the model’s eyes but lashes and a line of red that brings out the pink in his eyes, very much unlike the heavy bags and sunken face from an awful delay on his flight back home. No freckles, either, but even cameras rarely pick them up on video call. Nina cooed over them the first time they met, as motherly as ever, but behind closed doors Reader was utterly fascinated with them. They mentioned something about watching blush travel around his face with the smattering of freckles in-between once or twice… maybe more? Doesn’t matter when he’s never heard that before and it repeats in his head when he catches himself daydreaming. It’s one of the best things he’s ever heard.

Vtuber Model Ike’s face doesn’t heat up like how Real Ike’s certainly is now. He clears his throat. “The weather was really nice during the entire trip, so we would always get into good conversations while walking back to where we were staying. And sometimes we didn’t want to end the conversation, so we’d just keep walking past our Airbnb until our feet hurt or it got dark, whichever came first. 

“Oh, here’s something funny. Uki really loves cafes, right? Usually he woke up early with Ren to go check out some cafes in the morning, way before the rest of us would even think of waking up. By the time everyone else woke up, they already finished their breakfast, and Uki would tell Reader about the ones to visit or skip. Whenever Uki recommended one, Reader always wanted to go themselves, so I went along to keep them company.” 

Even as his skin returns to its original shade, the sweetness sticks to his throat like the soda he’s barely touched at all. He’s wistful. He didn’t expect to miss Reader this much; after all, his relationship with them has bloomed so much ever since you first started working together, but two weeks together (including mutual close friends) changes things. It’s only been two days since he returned home, but he feels out of rhythm with them. 

He’s gotten too accustomed to them. Over the last few months, he thought he did a good job putting aside his feelings for Reader, even when Nina would tease him after every Pen and Paper collab and Vox and Mika would be right behind her, hyping him up to make a move. The fear of rejection was what motivated him to keep his close friendship with Reader without ever confessing to them.

“Reader…”

The world around him is nothing. Paused to buffer as he thinks. He can’t remember the last time he felt so happy. Just being in the same room as them makes him feel stupid, and surely he’s been acting like it. Everything he says sounds clumsy when he’s with them. After all, on that day when he owned up to the feelings he repressed for so long that he couldn’t properly react to Reader’s confession, he couldn’t say much more than how happy he was. Words fail to describe what Reader means to him, yet he’s a novelist, for crying out loud! How ironic!

“...Reader is so patient with me,” Ike says. “And they’re so considerate and dedicated. I wish I told them that earlier. It’s hard to say things out loud like this, but you only meet people like Reader once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and even then, there’s no one quite like Reader.”

ystariya: i love reader

Kaidororero: pen and paper awwww

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER

acklmystafoot: ike is so sweet!!!

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 💙

“Aaah!”

Ike recoils like his keyboard is flaming lava. The model on the screen leans back and freezes in place while he nearly throws himself out of his chair. “R-Reader! What are you doing here?!”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : FKJLJJSLKFJDKS LMAOOOOOOOO

Johnclone: Hello Reader!

Y A M: OMG

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : just wanted to say hi

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : hi!

Festersk: LMAO

Ike sputters out nothing but empty air and nervous laughter. “Haha. Um. Hi! Welcome!”

Stupid! He wants to kick himself. He’s made improvement on verbalizing affection, and he’s comfortable with Reader, especially now that there aren’t any secrets left, but he’s still so unfamiliar with affection being returned that his heart is still doing kickflips in his chest. 

haabinae: :_blush: :_blush: :_blush:

juuuuuuuuuus: most normal pen and paper moment

Thornmy: AWWW

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : check discord

A normal broom: Oh?

“Ah, okay! Give me a second.” Ike keeps his Discord on mute, and usually disables desktop notifications when he’s live, so he’s not surprised to open the window to unread messages and some non-urgent pings. Sure enough, Reader sent him something.

Reader: because you were talking about cafes

Reader: image.png (3)    | 💙 1 |

Me: Oh I recognize these from our first date!

It’s been over a week now, but just saying he went on a date with Reader has him squeezing his legs together so his feet wouldn’t start kicking in the air. 

Reader: ahh you remembered! 

Me: I should’ve figured you took more pictures than the ones you showed me

Reader: dw i have more i wanted to show you

Reader: image.png (8)    | 💙 1 |

Me: Seriously how are you so good at photography I don’t get it-

Me: You’re really pretty in this one!

Me: UGHHHH WHY DO I LOOK SO WEIRD    | ❌ 1 | 💕 1 |

Me: I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU TAKE THIS ONE

Reader: WTH YOU’RE NOT WEIRD

Reader: YOU’RE LITERALLY SO HANDSOME WHY DO YOU  T H I N K  I TOOK THAT PIC

Well, great, now he’s actually kicking in his seat. Ike is inclined to disagree, but when Reader says it, it’s a super-effective attack on his poor little novelist heart. 

Me: Akaslwdnja

Me: Thank you 😭

Reader: anyways i gotta go i stream in 20 min and i’ve barely eaten my food

Me: Go eat! Do you have enough water?

Reader: just refilled my bottle

Me: Good then don’t let me keep you! Have a good stream!

And before he can overthink it, in the moment—

Me: I love you!

His sights are set on his second monitor.

Reader is typing…

Reader doesn’t have to respond. Sometimes just saying it is enough. 

Reader: fdsjdfkl.

Ike’s been trying to relearn that lesson ever since he realized everything he repressed was reciprocated.

Reader: i love you too, ike

Words heard across the world, one of the people he holds most dear.

His heart beats loud in his ears, but he can feel it slow, somehow. Reader is exhilarating, but there’s security in them, too. The nerves kick in until he remembers they’re just as exposed as the other, and the vulnerability generate a sense of comfort. Reader makes him feel understood like no one else in the world does, and he trusts them more than anything.

He does. He does, he does, he does, even if he only has the strength to say it one at a time. Ike is in love.

Reader: i’ll let you know when i’m done streaming, we can watch a movie together after

Me: It’s a date!    | 💕 1 |

It takes him a moment to tear his gaze away from your messages. 

His streaming monitor reflects his movements. The chat moves along. Blue light spreads through his fingertips, just like how he imagines Vtuber Model Ike’s hands resting on his own keyboard, an extension of the man outside the screen, proof of the fantastical.

“They sent me something.” Ike’s laughter is gentle. “I really do love them.”

The chat zooms past, as expected. Surely that would get clipped alongside the off-collab Q&A, but he can’t seem to care. He doubts the fandom would really understand how deep the connection goes, and if they do? Some things are just meant to be private.

Besides, on the day Ike and Reader get comfortable enough in their relationship to go public, he knows the Quilldren have his back, just like Reader and their Bookworms. 

“Reader, if you’re still there, we need to meet up again,” Ike says. “I don’t know when, but one day.”

A flurry of messages, but only one truly matters.

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : i wouldn’t miss it for the world

The model onscreen grins. It pales in comparison to Ike himself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊commentary ↣

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[mikefrawley]

We Are Worthy

Greetings my friends, and yes that is the old poet in living color. I hope everyone is well today. I was thinking about my be good to yourself posts from two or three months ago, and decided I needed to remind myself how good life actually is and how blessed we all truly are. After making some growth producing changes, you could accurately state that I was indeed comfortably perched atop my own personal pink cloud, which is a 12 step phrase generally describing the emotional state of someone who just turned their lives around one way or another. Well I must admit that was quite a wonderful feeling, and I truly enjoyed sharing positive thoughts and words with my friends here and at work, but then life seemed to throw in a monkey wrench as life is ofttimes wont to do. May came along and after almost 42 years as a computer programmer it was obviously time to retire, even though I probably wouldn't have made the decision on my own, my company graciously assisted me by kicking my butt out the door. For the first couple of weeks I was pretty shook up. I mean, I've never been retired before. What was I supposed to do? Miracously it turned out to be a blessing in disguise by forcing me to keep both my mind and body busy. I've taken care of some admittedly confusing yet necessary financial updates, and with all the time on my hands, I've been taking several walks a day, meditating, and watching Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village Videos on my computer. That was a good start, but I still had too much time on my hands and needed to take action. I first started by checking my Medicare Provider and found out that they would pay for a gym membership. I went over the next mornning and got a full membership, and I have really enjoyed it for about three weeks now. I had been trying to find a place for Buddhist Meditation or a Temple with very little luck, and by coincidence (if you happen to believe in such things, which I do not), I found a martial arts school which teaches Tai Chi. After a little more digging I discovered the teacher was from the same Chinese Boxing Lineage that I had studied with over 30 years ago. It's a small world indeed, but wait, it gets even better. I found out that my insurance would pay for the Tai Chi Class as well, and yes I signed up immediately. I apologize if this post is selfish, but it felt good to write, and maybe there is a small moral to the story. Yes everything is going surprisingly well for me, and while I'm very grateful to God, Love, Grace or whatever you wish to call it, I'm partially in this very enjoyable position because I've done what I needed to do. Admittedly I haven't always done very well with that part of it, but maybe I am deserving of my best, aren't you deserving of your best? That's about all for now, but please remember, you are indeed worthy of good things. Love to all, Mike 🩷

[diagonal-queen]

HI HIIII

just poppin in with a little request?

Could i please request chuuya with a reader who’s in the ada?

Like maybe they were in the mafia with chuuya(having been there abt as long as dazai) and then they get closer to him than dazai? But they also leave the pm when dazai does (for the same reasom dazai does?)

Maybe they try to keep contact with him after they leave? And they finallY meet again after a while?

And maybe reader has the same personality as the reader from your first kiss fic?

Idk if this is too specific but please ignore any of my details and write what feels right to you if you accept this request?

I hope this isnt too much to ask? And thank youuuuu

(Also sorry I fell asleep{exams hv me ass beatt} loved your analyses on dm!)

-jaya

jayaaaaaaaa this is a great req! i've already sort of come up with such a scenario in my head i just haven't had a reason to write it UNTIL NOWWWWWWWWWW also my gosh, i can imagine how tired you are. make sure to get plenty of rest and take care of yourself hon! 🌺 (i appreciate you sending karl to gimmie some toilet papers (all raccoons are karl now))

Calmer Waters

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: You secretly meet up with your ex-colleague Chuuya after a long period of not having seen him after leaving the Port Mafia. You two have a lot (of feelings) to talk about!

♡ wc: 2.3k

♡ cw: Swearing, mentions of death and spooooky mafia stuff, for this fic we're assuming that reader was also kinda friends with Odasaku, mentions of Mori Ougai, lmk if I missed anything

note: Don't worry about being too specific, I actually prefer when reqs are more specific so I have an easier time catering to the reader's preferences and writing a better piece lol 💓 Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy!

Standing still was pure torture. You had to release your nerves somehow, but you didn't want to appear weak by twiddling your thumbs, or tapping your feet on the wooden planks of the pier. You were frightened, ashamedly so, but still very much frightened.

You couldn't imagine how he must truly feel about you now. You couldn't blame him at all- if he'd disappeared just as suddenly as you and Dazai had all those years ago, you'd be pretty pissed. You and him had been in very unstable contact for the past four years, but you didn't think you could trust that as an actual indicator of his feelings towards you. Such was the reason you had invited him to the place you both used to frequent together.

Chuuya was once your best friend. At the time you'd had good faith that even though you were leaving him, he wasn't really alone. There were others who cared for him there. You didn't have a choice but to leave. Whenever you felt otherwise, you remembered the look in Dazai's eyes when he told you that it was time to go. Unlike any other.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn't notice him approaching.

"Hey," he said from behind you, and you jumped.

"Oh, my god." You breathed, your hand racing to your chest as you turned. It was unmistakably him- the fiery hair, old fedora, black coat draped over his shoulders making him appear fierce and grandiose. Chuuya Nakahara. "You scared me."

"I'm not that frightening," Chuuya gave you an ironic smile. You missed that face of his. That comforting aura. "At least, I didn't think I was to you."

"No- it's..." you suddenly felt like you might cry. You hadn't actually seen Chuuya in person for four long years, only scarcely communicating with him through far too complicated means, ranging from anonymous phone calls to actual paper letters. It was too difficult to directly talk to him when not only were you now in a company that directly opposed his organisation, but you were also almost always by Dazai's side.

You both stood under the moonlight, Chuuya several metres back on the pier and enveloped in shadows. The only sound was the ocean, and even that felt more muted than normal. You huffed, before racing towards him and throwing yourself into his arms.

"I missed you," you said to him, squeezing him as hard as you could. "I missed you, Chuuya."

You hadn't been expecting him to squeeze you back with such firmness that he almost lifted you off the ground.

"Damnit, Y/N. I missed you, too."

You two didn't let go of each other, allowing your fingernails to sink into one another's backs and bury your faces in each other's necks. Chuuya's aroma, musk and cologne and smoke, acted as respite from the salty scent of the sea.

"I don't..." you began, in a whisper. "Don't wanna let go."

"I know, but..." he answered just as softly, before slowly pulling from the embrace. He still kept your hands in his though, clearly feeling the same way you did. You were worried that he'd vanish if you were to let go of him again. "There we are."

"You look great, Chuuya," you told him, giving him a once over. "Still got that hat, I see."

"You don't look too similar at all, yourself. But...you feel the same."

"Does that balance it out?" You grinned, and he nodded. "Good...yeah. I'm glad to see you."

"Yeah, me too." Chuuya told you. "I was pretty fuckin' surprised when I saw your offer, y'know. I wondered why whatever you wanted to say was important enough to warrant an in-person meeting."

"I was equally as surprised just now when you showed up!" You replied, leading him to the edge of the pier and taking a seat, allowing your legs to dangle over the almost-statuesque ocean. "I thought that you either wouldn't come or you'd send someone else in your place. Y'know, to kill me, or something."

"...yeah." Chuuya paused for a minute, almost surprised by such a statement. You glanced at him, concerned, but quickly resumed your conversation.

"I know...there's things you wanna ask me that I wasn't able to tell you sooner. And I made sure Dazai doesn't know I'm here, either. So I'm all yours to talk to, so long as you keep it between us, and-"

"Why did you two go?" He asked, for what must have been the hundredth time. Though, it sounded rather different now that it was coming directly from his lips. "That's all I've been wanting to know. Why did you leave? ...I won't tell anyone else." You were fully prepared to answer, but now that the time had come, finding the words was much harder.

"...I knew you'd ask this," you chuckled, averting his gaze. "Ah, okay. So, do you know Oda Sakunosuke? Or...did you know him?"

"Heard about him from Dazai. Why?"

"When he died...his last wish was for us to...uh, help people..." you explained, a little nervously. "Save some orphans, he said. According to Dazai, anyway. That's how we got A- the weretiger."

Chuuya said nothing for a minute. You swallowed nervously, your mouth feeling dry.

"I thought at the time that there wasn't much worse than disrespecting the last wish of your friend who died. I knew how much he meant to Dazai especially-" you cut yourself off with a solemn sigh. "I thought if Dazai was going I didn't have a choice but to go with him. When I joined the Port Mafia, he was the only person my age, or...who was really willing to take me under their wing. Besides Mori, obviously, but I don't have Dazai's intellect, or...great personality."

To your fortune, you managed to make Chuuya smile with the sarcastic comment. You felt a little better knowing that he hadn't changed that much.

"I'm glad it's not because you really just hated me," he said, his voice softer. You faced him with a confused frown.

"What? No! I've never hated you. Do you hate me?"

"I hate Dazai, not you."

"So some things don't change..." you murmured, jokingly. "If you were curious, he also still hates you."

"Boohoo," he rolled his eyes. "...but that's what I was really worried about. I thought you left because of me. I thought that bastard must've told you some twisted things about me and convinced you to leave."

"Nah, nothing like that," you waved a dismissive hand. "If that were the case I wouldn't have wanted to see you, would I?"

Chuuya pursed his lips. "Fair point. Speaking of, though...why did you call me here? I mean, I know you wanted to tell me why you left, but that can't have been it. I can tell."

How annoying it was of Chuuya to have been so attentive towards you back then- he maybe knew you better than you knew yourself. Maybe if you'd kept your distance from him, leaving the Port Mafia would have been easier.

"...this is gonna sound stupid to you," you began, cautiously, "but I really wanted to see you. That's all."

"Is that right?" replied the redhead. "Why'd you wait so long, then?"

"Lots of reasons, actually. First, I just assumed that you absolutely wouldn't wanna see me. I mean, I did sorta just...disappear without a word. I felt terrible about it and I knew it would have upset you."

"It did," he affirmed, quietly. You felt a pang of familiar guilt. Chuuya was, to you, a kind man, but he was also honest. You really did appreciate that trait, but it had its cons, too.

"...second of all, I didn't wanna put the two of us in danger, y'know? We both know how formidable the Port Mafia is. There's only two ways of knowing, and that's either to be a member or to be an enemy. And I've been both."

"You know, though, that I'd have been able to keep you safe, right?" He asked. "That moron Dazai would have been willing to keep you safe too, I reckon. I know that he also cares about you."

"I guess, but I was just scared. It was hard, back then. I was confused about everything. I had to sort through my feelings, and I knew that I couldn't do it if I saw you."

"If you felt that bad, you shouldn't have left. I get that Dazai wanted you to, and your dead friend wanted it too, but it's not up to them what you do, Y/N," he said. You almost flinched, but resisted the urge.

"...I know, yeah. At the time it felt like the right thing to do. But those aren't the feelings I was referring to. That's an entire other can of worms I don't feel like opening again right now." You rubbed your face, already rather emotionally exhausted. That being said, this exchange had gone much better than you'd anticipated.

"What feelings, then? Grief, or somethin'?"

"No- well, yeah, but not necessarily. I was just really sad because I liked you a lot, and I was hesitant about leaving 'cause I wanted to stay with you." You thought you'd be nervous telling him that, but it was really a relief to get such a heavy weight off your shoulders. You glanced at him, but his expression hadn't really changed.

"You didn't want to leave...because you liked me?"

"I've always liked you, dumbass. Like, pretty soon after we met. You and Dazai were too busy fucking with each other for you to notice, though," you chuckled. "Once I knew I was leaving I figured that telling you wouldn't do any good."

"No, I knew. I was mostly just pissed because you vanished before I could tell you that I wanted to date you," he told you, casually. Your eyes widened. "Plus, I kinda just thought that you liked Dazai if the two of you disappeared together."

"You're kidding me," you looked at him, dumbstruck. Chuuya shrugged with a despondent smile.

"I wish," he scoffed. "I was pissed. Thought it wasn't fair of him to basically take you away like that, because I knew he knew I liked you. Like I said, I thought he lied about me."

"He did say to avoid you where I could, but I think that was just because you're a mafioso. And a pretty strong one, at that," you noted, matter-of-factly. "And I don't have a strong ability like yours or his. So I got that, obviously. But other than that...nothing, really."

"Huh. That's...pleasantly surprising," he nodded slowly, in acknowledgement of this revelation. "So your leaving had...nothing to do with me at all?"

"Nope."

"...huh," he said again, this time with a smile. "...that's really..."

"I'm sorry for making you think that for so long," you apologised, clasping your hands together in your lap. "I didn't want to hurt you. I would...I would cry right now, but I can't cry anymore about this, I don't think."

"...I understand." Chuuya shifted closer to you, taking one of your hands. "And I forgive you. You forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what?"

"For not..." Chuuya stopped, then turned towards the moonlit sea. "...not trusting you."

You could practically sense Chuuya's slight slouch next to you. It felt so strange. He used to slouch a lot of the time when you two were kids, so much so that it barely even felt like he was sitting. You hadn't really noticed how much better his posture had gotten until that moment. Feeling a little awkward for noticing such a trivial detail, you sadly brushed off the thought.

"...Chuuya," you muttered, reaching over and tucking some of his red hair behind his ear. Such a gesture provoked a lot of nostalgia right then, momentarily surprising you. His hair was still so soft. You took a shaky breath. "That wasn't wrong of you to do. I wouldn't have trusted me either, even if I did like me. I'd have hated me, honestly."

Chuuya faced you with a firm expression. "I wouldn't hate you, ever. I like you, remember? Actually, forget that crap. I love you, stupid. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have come here and talked to you. Y'know, for a former mafia member, you're so dense."

"You're the dense one for thinking that I'd actually leave the mafia because of you," you retorted, though your heart was beating a mile a minute. Though you and Chuuya had a well-established close bond back then, he had never outright told you that he loved you. You sighed. "...I love you too, you idiot."

Chuuya didn't reply to that immediately, he just beamed at you. Looking at him in that moment felt like a reset in your brain- as well as your confession moments prior. You'd tried so hard to forget about him for four years, you really had. But Chuuya Nakahara was beyond compare, and even though all of that effort had been for naught you couldn't care less.

He leaned over and planted a kiss on your cheek; chaste and shy, unlike himself. You turned to him, feeling your face heating up. He stared at you in anticipation, before faltering under your astonished eyes.

"Sorry, it-...it just felt like the right time. To do that, I mean," he explained in a crestfallen mumble, averting his gaze.

"Well, I mean, if it's the right time.." you began, piquing his interest again. "...we should do it properly." After hearing that invitation, Chuuya wasted no time cupping your cheek in his hand and finally pressing his lips to yours.

i gotta love how chuuya is certainly the most requested character i write about lol but i get it- he really is just...the man ever. and he's actually really easy to write tbh because all i need to do is make him The Best™ and i'm set. thank you @gettinshiggywithit for this request- i enjoyed writing it alot!!

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

BoSS Dami is like the same character but rather than serious and grumpy they play up his arrogance into him being boastful and cocky and I love it. He's having so much fun in the film, he loves fighting. He's bloodthirsty in a way that makes the audience happy for him which is pretty funny. I love the way they animate his facial expressions it's so good, and I love his voice. It's a little bit serious and broody while still being arrogant and youthful it's great. Jon sounds a little too old to be ten but I like his voice other than that. I love how Jon thinks he's cool and how quickly they bond despite clashing early on. And they're so cute. So. Cute.

The colorism thing is a big problem and it's par the course for Damian, when given the full range of color options for a character of his heritage they will always choose the lightest unless they're actively fighting their subconscious racism and colorism.

I went off on a rant on DC colorists colorism under the cut this post really got away from me, but READ THIS IF YOU DRAW DAMIAN!!↓

I get that you draw what you see and if you see a lot of white and lightskinned people you end up getting good at only drawing white people, and light skin has been purposely highlighted in visual media for centuries in this country, but USE GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH GOD DAMNIT, FOLLOW POC ON SOCIAL MEDIA, HIRE POC. Go out of your damn way to learn this shit. If you can't do it good now, learn!

I went through this with homestuck, all the human characters have #00000 skin so you're free to have whatever race headcanons you want of them, but that's not actually representation. I was influenced by this style because coloring skin is hard so I just shaded it with my pencil and left it uncolored but then I realized by refusing to color the melanin in someone's skin, that's colorism. Fuck that. So I decided to learn, and mess up a lot of otherwise pretty works, because it would be worth it in the end. I'm still learning but I've learned so much already.

For example a lot of colorist societies draw pale skin far too desaturated. If you compare actual skin to the skin in anime, nearly all Asians that aren't photoshopped or wearing make up/bleaching look so much darker. Bleached paper being what we draw on and light skin being the presumed default in our culture has made white people (and others) way too comfortable doing the bare minimum in coloring skin. You don't still use the yellow crayon for blonde hair so why do you still use the very light peach/tan as the default skin tone? You're not even coloring light skin right let alone approaching properly drawing dark skin right.

I'm so fucking tired of every company doing this when I learned how to do better in middle school. Get out of your fucking comfort zone and draw diversely, or you're a coward and you're not doing anything to combat your culturally inherited racism.

Most DC artists are good at drawing 1 or 2 skin tones, maybe 3. There are so many more undertones and shades than that. I'm not counting rainbow colors. If you want Damian to be paler than his mother to reflect his mixed heritage that's totally fine! But it should be darker than Bruce's and Jon's. I've compared them and paid attention to the shadows being cast and he's really not darker than Jon and only rarely darker than Bruce because they drew Bruce especially pale.

I want you to understand that removing melanin from a character is erasure of their identity and actively harmful. There's a broad range of skin tones that the son of Talia and Bruce might have but choosing the lightest possible option is favoring white skin over dark skin, not realism. Just because you've seen more light skinned mixed kids doesn't mean there aren't darker skinned ones. The light skinned ones get more attention on social media and commercially because of social bias + algorithms + intentional racism. Most people who are colorist think that they're not racist because they're representing nonwhite people not bothering to notice that the people they represent have the most european features and light skin in their group. Yes those people are oppressed too but you're not fixing anything by only showing racially ambiguous people.

Mariner on star trek is a relevant example from animation. Both her parents have dark skin but she has much lighter skin because she's a main character. Stop it. Stop it. Don't think just because you see something highlighted a lot that it's the most common thing that's so dumb. How many mixed people do you think you see that you assume aren't mixed? There's confirmation bias at play.

I just wish I could beam this message into everyone's thick fucking skulls. Dark skin is beautiful. My number one coloring tip for any artist is this: don't be afraid to go too dark. You'll ruin the contrast and legibility and dynamic if you keep everything light and mid tones.

If you go too dark, you can filter it later.

I hate the argument "there are plenty of mixed people who dadadadada" stop. there are such a variety of people in numbers you literally cannot fathom with your human brain. You cannot picture all of the people that look exactly like whatever it is you're saying is more uncommon. Race is made the fuck up but its impact and cultural significance is real as hell. Genetics are so fucking diverse. I know a biologically related pair of siblings, one super tall dark skinned black dude and one super short freckled white girl, they have the same parents you cannot tell that they are related if you're thinking that mixed race children are like taking the skin tones and mixing them like paint.

Colorism is physically dangerous. People will assume that a mixed race child is being kidnapped by their parent because they so look different to them.

Damian could look the spitting image of Talia, I can tell you that with 100% certainty. He also could look the spitting image of Bruce, or Thomas Wayne, or Martha, or Ra's. All we know is that he's Arab, Chinese and white, he has black hair and green eyes, and he's short and good looking. Taking that and making the most european looking version of that guy as possible is fucking racist. I'm so serious.

If you want to do your part to combat racism and make a society where everyone can get attention and be seen as beautiful regardless of skin tone, then draw Damian with dark skin.

If you don't want to do that.... I don't understand you. Learn empathy, it will be useful to you.

[rainbowdaisy13]

Hey Rainbow, I'm kind of a new Kaylor. I knew of their existence back in 2016, but I wasn't part of this corner of Tumblr. It's only in the last few months that I've really become interested in Taylor's lyrics and the Kaylor storyline. The idea that she's closeted and struggling, and the beautiful and romantic tapestry of her lyrics that speak of a truly beautiful love story that the public doesn't really know about, these are the things that drew me to Taylor and by extension Kaylor. I know that the stuff with TK is PR. Dare I say it's the loudest and most obvious PR she's ever done. I know this, but it's actually getting painful to see it. I guess it's painful to see such a smart, articulate, and worldly woman be so happy in the company of the frattiest of frat bros. Or maybe it's hard to see her associate with them. Idk. I'm not here to attack her or anyone, but I guess I'm coming to you for a pep talk? I know this doesn't make me a good fan, but I'm not sure I'd like TS as much if I didn't think she was a closeted queer woman. I imagine I should take a break, but I fear that if everyone does that, will the Kaylor corner disappear? Will the comfort we find in Gaylor evaporate? I swear I'm a grown adult with a robust and fulfilling real life, but damn...this is getting to me.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. I hope it's not too annoying. You're so steadfast of a fan, and it seemed like you'd be the best to reach out to for support, ha.

First, never apologize!! Second welcome to Kaylor tumblr! Tis not for the faint of heart!

This is all I can give you in the way of a pep talk—I fully believe Taylor is a queer woman and that she’s been telling us that through art her since the very beginning. I also believe her and Karlie are in a long term secret relationship that they are choosing to keep hidden through Bearding and Lavender marriage for whatever reasons they have—and I’m sure there’s a ton of reasons that they have deemed good enough

As far as being a bad fan, absolutely not! I did not give a crap about Taylor until Rep. I knew of her songs but something about her always felt off to me, and disingenuous. Someone mentioned the word Kaylor and I went down the tumblr rabbithole of TTB and BOOM I was hooked. Taylor as a closeted queer artist made sooooo much sense to me as I always felt something was missing about her as a person, and suddenly here was this insane amount of evidence that only kept growing! It’s not like I joined during Rep and had to only look in the past, she continues to keep queer signaling in every aspect of her life. Thats a long way to say, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with loving Taylor for who she actually is—that doesn’t make you a bad fan for seeing her truth and loving her for it

As far as Kaylor tumblr disappearing, in the last 7 years I’ve been here, my follower count only grows. SO many people lurk in this space. There will always be some of us here documenting and discussing while others of us take breaks. We are pretty good about holding down the fort for each other in times of stress

Come and go as you need to, but us battle hardened OGs shall remain until she stops signaling through her art that she wants us to know the truth

[bluebeary-jay]

Sooooooooo.... big news you guys 😌

WE HIT 1000 FOLLOWERS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M MAKING THIS POST AAAAH!!!!!!

Huge THANK YOU to all of you lovely people who enjoy the stories I write and who helped me reach this point!! I'm extremely lucky to have your support and I'm so overwhelmed with emotions and gratitude I want to give every and each one of you a lil forehead kiss muah 💋

So this calls for a celebration right?? And a celebration we shall have 😎

SO until October 15th I'll be taking requests for short one-shots 💕 below you can check out the rules of the party

Okay okay okay, let's start! First things first, our Pedro boys! I'll be writing for:

Joel Miller

Javier Peña

Agent Whiskey

Oberyn Martell

While requesting, please specify if you want it to contain (can be multiple):

Din Djarin (? I've never wrote for him but I'm willing to try)

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

or/and suggestive themes (but not actual smut, pretty please)

And lastly, the amazing list of prompts that I borrowed from @nightprompts (here's the link to the original post <3)

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜

❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜ 

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ 

❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜

❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ well? how do i look? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜

❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜

❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜

❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜

❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜

❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜

❛ kiss me again. ❜

❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜

❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜

❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜ 

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ i was wrong about you. ❜ 

❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜

❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

You can keep it vague or add a brief description of a situation you'd like to see 💕

Please send in your requests!! It'll be a challenge for me to keep it relatively short, but I'm so excited for this!!! 💕

[atwooozi]

Almost Perfect (Sebastian x Fem!Farmer) Chapter 19: The Dance of the Moonlight Jellies

Warnings: Slow burn, personal struggles, anxiety, depression, eventual smut

Summary: Angeline finds time dragging by as she awaits her date with Sebastian, plagued by a sense of unease despite their budding relationship

A/N: So I'm not sure how many of you read my author's notes, but I've been dealing with some health issues on top of the regular daily life struggles, so I will be taking a break for a period of time (I'd say a month) to try and get back on track. Which means posts are going to be more irregular from now until May 25th.

I have lots of ideas and love for this story, so I don't plan on letting it end just like this. I know in previous posts I've been talking about other story ideas too and I still think about those and want to write those, but this is my priority.

READ ON AO3

Chapter 19: The Dance of the Moonlight Jellies

Summer 28

For whatever reason time always seemed to move slower on days whenever Angeline was looking forward to something. This day was no exception, unfortunately. It was as if time had stopped completely. For some reason, whenever she was trying to reel a fish in time didn’t move forward. She couldn’t fathom how that could be possible, but she would insist that’s what was happening if someone asked her. 

Angeline groaned and plopped down on the grass. As excited as she was for later tonight she was feeling wave after wave of nerves pooling in the pit of her stomach. And why? She wasn’t actually sure. She enjoyed spending time with Sebastian and she was pretty sure that Sebastian enjoyed her company too. But still there was this lingering feeling of doubt within her that she couldn’t shake. 

“What is that?” Angeline said as she placed her hand over her heart. 

“What’s what?” Angeline gasped and looked up to see her neighbor Leah. 

Leah was someone that Angeline didn’t know quite well, but someone she could find herself easily growing fond of. From what she knew, Leah was an artist who enjoyed things like nature and decorating for every holiday which was something that she found really endearing. Especially since Angeline couldn’t be bothered to decorate for anything, much less fill her house with furniture. 

“...I-I have this bad feeling.” Angeline paused as she tried to search for words. She frowned when nothing came to mind and looked ahead at the river before them. 

Leah sat down next to Angeline and rested her chin on her palm as she thought. “Bad feeling about what?” 

Angeline shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t even know…” Angeline could feel tears well up in her eyes. “It’s just things have been going so well that something bad must be coming.” 

Leah frowned. “That’s not true.” She sighed and picked at the hem of her pants. “I think just because good things are happening to you doesn’t mean that bad things will then happen.” 

Angeline brought her knees to her chest and sighed. She knew Leah was right. She knew that her thinking made no sense, but she couldn’t help but feed into that bad feeling. 

There was a silence that lasted between the two for what felt like an eternity, but Leah’s company was comforting in its own way. She didn’t try to force Angeline to see differently or keep talking to fill the dead air. 

“Are you going to be okay, farmer?” 

Angeline glanced over at Leah who was wearing a relaxed smile. Angeline straightened her posture and nodded. 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

“Good.” Leah said as she patted Angeline’s shoulder. Leah got up and dusted off her knees. “I know we don’t talk much, but I’m always up for chatting over a glass of wine sometime.” 

Angeline smiled at the invitation and nodded. She wasn’t much of a drinker. To be honest, she would get a buzz from half a hard seltzer, but she wouldn’t mind getting drunk with Leah. Even if that meant making a complete fool out of herself after one glass of wine. “That sounds like fun.” 

Leah smiled and placed her hands on her hips. “Yeah, I think so too.” She looked over towards her cabin. “I’m gonna head back. I’ll see you later though.” 

Angeline nodded. “Yeah, see you.” 

~*~

Sebastian looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He didn’t look bad. He didn’t think that he looked good either. He just looked the same. He found himself struggling with the idea of putting on something a little different. Would Angeline think he was lame or that he was trying too hard if he strayed away from his usual hoodie and jeans or would she be excited? Would she take it as him putting effort into their date? And was that a good thing? 

He groaned and cupped his face in his hands in frustration. He didn’t want to ask for advice, but he really needed it. Desperately. 

He fished his phone out of his pocket and punched in the number, hoping that he would pick it up. 

“Sup.” This was a bad idea. 

Sebastian sighed. “Alex… I need your help.” 

“Is it about a training regimen?” Alex was starting to babble like Sam when he would get too excited about something. “...I think if you included more protein in your diet and lifted that you could easily gain like twenty pounds of muscle.” 

“What–No!” Sebastian pinched his nose bridge in frustration. Was he really this desperate?...Yes. “I don’t want to bulk up.” 

Alex tsked in response. “Listen, the skinny emo thing might be in now, but muscles are forever.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sebastian said as he sat himself down in his desk chair. This seemed like it was going to take awhile. “I…I–You’ve gone on dates before, right?”

“...Yeah?” 

“So when you went on dates…” Sebastian was trying to think of how to properly phrase his question. “What did you do beforehand?” Was that a normal question? 

There was a pause and each second of silence was eating Sebastian alive. 

“Push ups.” Alex said simply. As if it was the most obvious response. 

“What?” Sebastian was regretting this call with every second. He felt that he would have been better off asking Demetrius what to do. 

“Push ups.” Alex repeated. “You feel good from the endorphins and your abs look tighter, too.” 

Sebastian decided to make a note of that for some other time, but he needed to get back to the problem at hand. “Alex, did you ever change how you usually looked for a date?” 

There was another pause and Sebastian was ready to hit his head against the wall. Why was this so hard? Why did no one else in this town date? 

“Nah, I look good enough already.” 

Sebastian frowned at the answer he was given. He couldn’t fault Alex; he was just being Alex. Sebastian could only blame himself for this. It was his fault for expecting more. 

“But, I remember this one time.” Sebastian jumped at hearing Alex speak. Was he actually going to get something useful? “I was running late to go to the mall with Haley after practice, so I couldn’t fix my hair like I usually do after I shower.” 

“Uh huh…” Sebastian closed his eyes and decided to accept his fate. Nothing useful was going to come from this call. 

“And like, she really liked it.” Alex recalled. “Something about it being different was a nice change or something.” 

Sebastian sat up in his chair and blinked as he took in the information. That was actually…kind of helpful? “Thanks, Mullner.” 

“No problem, man.” Alex said. “I gotta go, but like, if you ever wanna get serious about bulking up, call me.” 

Sebastian hung up and sighed. As frustrating as that call was he was grateful to Alex. As kids the two were pretty good friends, but ended up growing apart when their interests started to change. Alex got more into gridball and girls and Sebastian got more into sci-fi and computers. They hardly talked anymore, but every once in a while they would chat at a town event or if they saw each other in passing. Maybe it would be worth opening himself up to being friends with Alex again? They never stopped being friends, really. Especially since Haley and Angeline seemed to spend so much time together…

Sebastian stopped himself. He was getting way too ahead of himself. It’s not like he and Angeline were a thing. He couldn’t just let his mind run wild like this. They hadn’t even gone on their first date yet, but he was already planning on how to make nice with her friend as if he were her boyfriend. He really needed to get a grip. 

Sebastian looked at himself in the mirror and thought about what he could do. He wanted to look a little bit different, but not too different. He quickly rummaged through his desk drawer and smiled to himself when he found them. He carefully put in some earrings that Abigail insisted he get on one of their more recent trips to the city. He was reluctant when he got them, but in the moment he was thankful. They were a pair of small silver hoops with a dagger hanging from each of them. He wasn’t sure if Angeline would notice, but it gave him a slight boost in his confidence that he was actually putting in some effort, rather than none at all. He wouldn’t be disappointed if she didn’t notice, but the thought of her noticing something so small brought a gentle warmth to his heart. A feeling that he was still getting used to if he were being honest with himself. 

Sebastian checked his phone and it was 9:00. He debated if he should make his way over to Angeline’s farm now or if he should wait a bit longer. He didn’t want to get there too early if she wasn’t ready, but he didn’t want to be late either. He debated on whether he should call Alex again, but decided against it. He was going to head over. If he was a little early he just hoped Angeline wouldn’t mind. 

Sebastian took one last look in the mirror, adjusting his hoodie a bit. With a deep breath to steady his surprisingly very few nerves, he pocketed his phone and keys, then made his way out of his room and up the stairs. The house was quiet, he supposed that his mom and Demetrius had already left. As for Maru, he had no clue, but she was grown so she could figure out herself… Maybe he’d call her later just to be sure she was safe. 

The walk to Angeline’s farm was short, but each step somehow felt like an eternity. The nerves that were nowhere to be found had finally made their way back to him. It wasn’t the nerves that he was typically used to which were always a nausea inducing mess. This time he was anticipating what might happen between the two of them . 

Finally, he reached the farm. There was a soft glow of the porch light which helped illuminate the path. He stepped on to the porch which had now been done several times before and hesitated. He wanted to knock but his nerves kept him still. 

Before Sebastian’s panic could settle in he heard a mew from below. He looked down and saw Angeline’s new cat circling around his legs. “Oh hey…” 

Sebastian reached down and gave the orange tom a few scritches, which caused the cat to purr. Sebastian smiled gently and sighed. He needed to stop stalling. He stood up and took a deep breath before knocking. 

“Coming!” Angeline called from behind the door. He then could hear some running back and forth before the door finally opened. 

There stood Angeline, she was wearing a long skirt and coordinating top, both various colors of purple. Sebastian didn’t know much about makeup, but he liked how Angeline’s looked, she had emphasized her round eyes and her full lips, it was simple but nice. She always looked so pretty to him. Honestly, she could be wearing a potato sack and he would still think she was beautiful. 

“Hey!” Angeline said with a smile lighting up her face that stole Sebastian’s breath away. “I didn’t take too long, right?” 

Sebastian shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “No, I think I was a bit early.” 

“Well…should we go?” 

Sebastian nodded, his heart thumping louder than he expected. He wouldn’t be surprised if Angeline could hear it. “Yeah, let’s go.” He followed Angeline down the porch steps, the orange tomcat darting ahead of them, its tail held high in the air. 

As they walked towards town, Sebastian felt a mix of nervousness and excitement swirling within him. The air was cool, carrying a faint scent of salt from the Gem Sea. He stole glances at Angeline, admiring the way the moonlight caught the subtle highlights in her hair. She looked so perfect.

“I’m really excited to see the jellies.” Angeline said, breaking the comfortable silence between them. 

Sebastian cleared his throat, and rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about it. “It’s like magic, honestly.” He looked ahead as they made it to the beach. Everyone from town was there, Maru being one of them, thankfully. “Let’s go to the bridge.” 

Angeline nodded and walked up the dock with Sebastian. As they reached the wooden bridge that extended out over the water. There was a soft glow of the moon that casted a serene light over everything, turning the scene into something out of a dream. Sebastian glanced down at the water, where the jellies floated like tiny, otherworldly lights. 

Angeline let out a small gasp, her eyes sparkling with wonder. “It’s beautiful.” She said softly.  

Sebastian smiled and nodded. “...Yeah, it really is.” He turned his gaze back to her, her features looked so beautiful in this light. He wanted so badly to reach out and just touch her. Just to make sure that this night was truly real. 

They stood there together in a comfortable silence, watching the jellies glide gracefully through the water. The sound of gentle waves lapping against the shore filled the air, creating a peaceful atmosphere. 

After some time, Angeline turned to Sebastian with a soft smile. “Thank you for inviting me. This is amazing.” 

Sebastian felt a rush of happiness at her words. “I’m glad you like it…i-it’s nice.” he said softly. 

“It’s more than nice.” Angeline said, her eyes meeting his. There was a moment of quiet understanding between them. Sebastian wasn’t sure, but it felt like something between them was growing with each passing second. 

Sebastian felt a flutter of nervousness wash over him, his heart pounding a little faster. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. Before he could bring himself to finally speak Angeline beat him to it. 

“Sebastian…there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.” He almost felt dizzy when he heard her speak his name. 

“Wh-what is it.” Sebastian did his best to keep his voice steady. 

Angeline looked away and took a deep breath, her cheeks were flushed. “I..I really enjoy spending time with you.” But? “I’ve had such a great time tonight, and…” But? “I was wondering if…maybe we could…you know…” 

There was no but. Sebastian felt a rush of hope and excitement flood through him. “I feel the same way.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“You do?” Angeline seemed dumbfounded. The look on her face was one of genuine disbelief and Sebastian couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“I do.” Finally, Sebastian took a step closer to Angeline, his heart pounding in his chest. He reached out, gently cupping her cheek in his hand. 

“Can I?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Angeline’s eyes widened, and her face flushed. Sebastian could feel the warmth from her blushing cheeks against his palm. “Please.” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but smirk at the response. Without hesitation, he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a tender, sweet kiss. Time seemed to stand still as they kissed, the world around them fading away until there was only the two of them, lost in the moment. When they finally pulled back, they were both breathless, their faces flushed with happiness. 

They stood there together on the bridge, wrapped in each other’s arms. Selfishly, even if Angeline wanted to step away he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to let her go. He loved the feeling of her in his arms. He loved her warmth and how soft she felt. If they weren’t surrounded by everyone in town he would have his lips pressed firmly against her neck. If she let him, that is. 

Sebastian chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair away from Angeline’s face. She looked so cute. Her face was flushed and her expression was one of embarrassment, probably since they kissed in front of the whole town. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” 

If it were possible Angeline’s blush deepened. “Me too.” She admitted. “I…wasn’t sure if you felt the same.”

Sebastian shook his head, his heart swelling with emotion. He placed a kiss on her forehead. “I do.” He said softly as he rested his head on top of hers. “I really do, Angeline.” 

They stood there for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s presence once more. Sebastian couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Angeline in his life, to have this moment with her. 

“Sebastian?” Angeline spoke up, her voice hesitant. 

“Yeah?” Sebastian pulled away and looked down at her. He already wanted to kiss her again. 

“I…I really like you.” Angeline said softly. “I know this only our first date, but I want to see where this goes.” 

Sebastian smiled and took Angeline’s hand into his. “I want that too.” 

Angeline beamed up at him, her eyes practically sparking with happiness. “Good,” she said. “Because I really, really like you.” 

Sebastian couldn’t resist the urge any longer. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers once more, savoring the taste of her on his lips. Angeline responded eagerly, her arms wrapping around his neck as she deepened the kiss.

“Hey there are kids here!” Sam shouted from the beach.

“Yeah, be careful you guys don’t run out of air!” Abigail joined in the teasing. 

Finally, reluctantly, they pulled away, their foreheads resting against each other’s as they caught their breath. Sebastian could care less about how annoying his friends were. All that mattered was what was happening right in front of him. 

“I think we should probably head back.” Sebastian said, his voice a little breathless. 

Angeline nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, probably.” 

They walked back into town, Sebastian having kept his arm firmly around her. He felt that now that he had her he didn’t want to let her go. As they reached the outskirts of town and back to Angeline’s farm Sebastain found himself walking slower. He didn’t want the night to end yet. 

Once they reached Angeline’s porch Sebastian reluctantly let go of her waist. She turned to face him as she walked up the stairs. “I had a good time.” She said softly as she fidgeted with her fingers. 

“Me too…” Sebastian said softly. He just wanted to touch her again. Just a little bit more. 

Angeline smiled and leaned down pressing a kiss to Sebastian’s cheek. 

Sebastian’s heart skipped a beat at the touch of her lips on his cheek. It was a sweet, gentle gesture that sent a warm shiver down his spine. He couldn’t help but smile. 

“Thank you for tonight.” Angeline said, her voice soft and sincere. “I…I really enjoyed it.” 

Sebastian reached up, his hand finding hers where it lingered against his cheek. He held it gently, savoring the warmth of her touch. “I had an amazing time too.” He pressed his lips to her palm, causing her to flinch. 

“I guess I should go inside.” Angeline said reluctantly, though she made no move to leave.

Sebastian nodded, reluctantly releasing her hand. “Yeah, I should probably head back too.” 

They stood there for a moment, neither of them wanting to say goodbye. The air was filled with unspoken words. The weight of their night and newfound feelings hanging between them. 

“Sebastian…” Angeline started, her voice trailing off as she searched for the words. 

Sebastian looked at her, his heart pounding his chest. She had him hanging with every word. 

“Can we…do this again?” Angeline finally asked, her eyes searching his face for anything. 

“Yes,” he said without hesitation, his voice filled with certainty. “I would love to.” 

A bright smile lit up Angeline’s face, causing her dimples to show. “I can hardly wait.” 

Sebastian couldn’t help himself, he reached out, unable to resist the urge to pull her into a warm hug. Angeline melted into his embrace, her arms wrapping around him tightly. 

Finally, they pulled back, their eyes meeting once more. Sebastian brushed a strand of hair away from Angeline’s face. 

“I’ll see you.” Angeline said softly. 

Sebastian nodded, a smile playing on his lips. “Definitely,” he replied. “I’ll text you.” 

With one last lingering look, Sebastian turned and made his way down the porch steps. He paused at the bottom, turning back to look at Angeline standing on the porch, bathed in the soft glow of the light.  

“Goodnight, Angeline.” Sebastian said, his voice filled with warmth. 

“Goodnight, Sebastian.” Angeline smiled. 

With a final wave, Sebastian turned and made his way down the path, he had never felt so happy in his life. As he walked home, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling, the memory of Angeline’s kiss still lingering on his lips. 

He couldn’t wait to see her again.

[cadaverre]

wilby: hi salmon

salmon: Hey there, Wilby. How's it going?

salmon: It's always nice to see you by the stream, you know? You've got some pretty cool hair, for a human.

wilby: thanks, i try. i like your fins too, they're really shiny. so, uh, listen, i wanted to ask you something…

Narrator: A blush begins to creep up on Wilby's cheeks as they stammer out their question. Their eyes dart back and forth between the salmon and their hands, nervously playing with the strings of their guitar.

wilby: I… I was wondering if you'd want to… you know… go out with me sometime? Like, maybe just hang out or something?

salmon: Oh, well, that's… that's sweet of you to ask, Wilby. But I'm afraid I'm not really the dating type. You see, I'm a salmon. And as a salmon, my life is dedicated to swimming upstream, finding a mate, and then dying. It's sort of built into my DNA.

Narrator: The salmon offers a sympathetic smile, hoping to make Wilby feel better. But the human streamer looks crestfallen at the rejection. The salmon continues, trying to find the right words.

salmon: However, if you'd just like to hang out, maybe play some songs together or something, I'd be happy to do that. You're a pretty cool human, and it'd be nice to get to know you better. Is that something you'd be interested in?

wilby: Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, salmon.

Narrator: Wilby perks up at the salmon's offer, a genuine smile returning to their face. They nod enthusiastically, glad to have found some common ground with the fish.

wilby: Cool! Well, I'm free most evenings, so whenever you're in the mood to hang out, just let me know. And don't worry about me being too disappointed about the whole dating thing. I understand how nature works, you know

salmon: Well, thank you, Wilby. I appreciate that. And it's nice to know that I have a friend in you, even if it's not in the way I might have hoped for. We'll just have to see where this friendship takes us, hmm?

wilby: Sounds good to me. Hey, listen, I'm about to stream some Minecraft and some guitar playing. You want to stop by and say hi? Maybe we can do some singing together or something. Just a thought.

salmon: That actually sounds like fun! I've always been curious about your streaming and music. Sure, I'd love to drop by and hang out while you play. It's the least I can do as your fishy friend.

Narrator: The salmon swims closer to Wilby, its fins gracefully parting the water. It hovers near the streamer, watching with interest as they tune their guitar and prepare to begin their stream. After a few moments, the salmon gathers its courage and speaks up.

salmon: You know, Wilby, you're really good at that guitar. I mean, I've never really been into music, but even I can tell that you have some real talent there. And your singing… Well, let's just say it's growing on me.

wilby: Aw, shucks, you're making me blush. Thanks, I appreciate that. I've always loved playing and singing. And you know, if you ever want to learn how to play anything, I'd be happy to teach you. I mean, maybe we could even play together sometime.

salmon: That's very kind of you, Wilby. You know, I've always been curious about music and learning to play an instrument. Maybe someday I'll take you up on that offer. In the meantime, why don't we just enjoy our time together, hanging out and doing what we both love?

Narrator: Wilby grins, nodding in agreement. They begin to stream, with the salmon swimming gracefully beside them, occasionally nudging them to continue with encouragement. As the hours pass, they lose track of time, becoming completely engrossed in their music and each other's company. The atmosphere between them feels comfortable and warm, like old friends who have known each other for years.

wilby: So, salmon, you know that offer I made about teaching you how to play an instrument? Well, I meant it. And since we've been having so much fun together, I thought maybe we could start with that. Whenever you're ready, just let me know.

salmon: That's very thoughtful of you, Wilby. You know, I've always wanted to learn how to play something, but I never had anyone to teach me. You're a really great teacher, and I think it'd be a lot of fun to spend more time with you like this. And who knows? Maybe one day we could even go on that date you mentioned.

Narrator: Wilby's heart swells at the salmon's words. They're glad that they've been able to create such a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere for the fish, and it feels good to know that they've made a genuine connection. The thought of teaching the salmon to play an instrument and spending even more time with them is thrilling. And who knows? Maybe one day they'll actually get to go on that date they've been talking about.

wilby: Aw, shucks, you're making me blush again. I'd love to teach you, and I think it'd be a blast to spend more time together. And as for that date… Well, let's just say I'd be honored to take you on one, whenever you're ready. Just let me know what you have in mind, and we can make it happen.

salmon: Well, I've always wanted to try sushi. I know it's a bit unusual for a fish, but I've heard it's really good. And since we're both musicians, we could maybe find a cool sushi restaurant with live music. That would be perfect!

Narrator: Wilby grins at the idea of trying sushi with the salmon. They've never been to a sushi restaurant that features live music, and it sounds like a fantastic idea. They're glad the salmon likes the idea of going on a date too. This is all just so surreal and wonderful.

wilby: Sushi and live music? That does sound amazing! I'm definitely up for that. I'll start looking for a good sushi restaurant around here that has live music. And don't worry, I'm sure you'll love it. Maybe you could even try some of my favorite rolls.

Narrator: The salmon blushes slightly at the thought of trying sushi for the first time with Wilby. It's not every day that they get to do something so adventurous and delicious. The idea of trying some of Wilby's favorite rolls is especially appealing. They can't wait for the date to come around.

salmon: That sounds wonderful, Wilby. I'm really looking forward to it. And you know, if you ever want to come with me to just enjoy the water and the other fish, I'd love for you to join me. It's really peaceful and beautiful underwater.

wilby: That's so sweet of you, salmon. I'd love to come with you sometime and see what it's like underwater. It's always been a dream of mine to be able to breathe water and swim freely like you do. And who knows? Maybe one day I could learn how to breathe underwater too.

salmon: That would be amazing, Wilby! You'd fit right in with us. And as for the date, let's plan on going to that sushi restaurant with live music next weekend. I've found the perfect place. Just give me your address and I'll send you a map so we can meet there.

Narrator: Wilby is thrilled to have a date planned with the salmon. They've never been to a sushi restaurant with live music before, and it sounds like the perfect setting for their first date. They eagerly give the salmon their address and wait anxiously for the map. In the meantime, they continue to practice their guitar and singing, hoping to impress the salmon even more on their big night out.

Narrator: The next day, Wilby anxiously awaits the arrival of the map from the salmon. They've been practicing their guitar and singing all day, hoping to impress the salmon even more when they finally meet. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Wilby opens it to find a handsome officer of the Cod Police.

cod police officer: Sorry to interrupt your day, but we've received a complaint about some sort of…disruption in the area. A witness claimed to have heard a terrible noise coming from your home.

wilby: Oh, dear. That must've been my singing practice. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

cod police officer: Well, it's not illegal to practice singing…but we've received multiple complaints. I'm afraid I'll have to take you in for questioning.

wilby: Oh, no! I was supposed to go on a date with the salmon tonight! This is all a terrible misunderstanding!

Narrator: The salmon hears about the misunderstanding and rushes to the scene, pushing their way through the crowd of angry fish. They immediately recognize Wilby, still in handcuffs, and are heartbroken. The thought of Wilby going to jail is unbearable.

wilby: Salmon! I'm so sorry! I was just practicing for our date! Please believe me!

salmon: Of course I believe you, Wilby. I've been practicing singing too, you know. It's hard sometimes, and we all make mistakes. But I thought you were amazing.

cod police officer: Well, I'm sorry, but you're still being taken in for questioning. The witness was very specific about the sound.

cod police officer: However, if you'd like to make a statement, you can do so through your attorney. I'll be right outside.

Narrator: Wilby looks at the salmon, tears welling up in their eyes. "I'm sorry I let you down. I just wanted to impress you so much. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

salmon: No, Wilby, it's not your fault. You didn't let me down. You were just trying your best. And I love that about you. I really do.

Narrator: The handsome officer of the Cod Police returns, leading Wilby away. The salmon tries to follow, but is held back by the other fish. "Wait!" they call, struggling against the current. "I don't want to lose you! Please, just promise me you'll call me when you get out!"

wilby: I promise, salmon. I'll call you as soon as I can. And I'll make it up to you, I swear. I love you.

salmon: I love you too, Wilby. Just remember that. I'll be here, waiting for your call. And remember, no matter what happens, I'll always be by your side.

salmon: And Wilby…?

salmon: Even if you're in here, I still want to be your partner. In life, in love…and in fishing. I want you to know that. So, will you marry me? Be my fishy husband?

wilby: Oh, salmon…I-I love you too. More than anything. And I'd be honored to be your partner, your husband. But first, I need to get out of here. I promise I'll make it up to you, I'll show you how much I love you. And then, we can be together, forever.

cod police officer: Alright, Wilby. You can go now. You've been cleared of all charges. It was just a misunderstanding.

salmon: (tears streaming down their face) Really? You're free? Oh, Wilby, I'm so happy! I love you so much! I knew you couldn't have done anything wrong.

wilby: (embarrassed) Thanks, Salmon. I owe you everything. I'll make sure to never let you down again. And…and yes, I'd love to marry you. You're the one I've been looking for all my life.

Narrator: The two swim side by side, their hearts beating in perfect harmony. They share a tender kiss as they float through the ocean, surrounded by their friends and family of fish. The sun shines down on them, casting a warm glow over their happy faces.

Narrator: As they swim, Wilby reaches for the small velvet box hidden in his fins. He fumbles a bit, trying to open it with his fins, but finally manages to pop the lid. The sparkling diamond ring inside catches the light, reflecting off their scales.

salmon: Oh, Wilby! (salmon's voice cracks as well, tears streaming down their face) It's beautiful! Oh, I love you so much! I've always known we were meant to be together.

wilby: (eyes brimming with tears) It's all for you, Salmon. You're my everything. I'll love you forever. And I promise, from now on, I'll never do anything to hurt you. I'll be the best husband I can be.

Narrator: With tears streaming down their faces, they share a tender embrace, their fins intertwined. Wilby slips the ring onto the salmon's fin, sealing their promise to each other. The other fish gather around them, cheering and clapping their fins in celebration.

Narrator: After a beautiful ceremony, officiated by the wise and kind Cod Police Officer, salmon and Wilby decide they want to start a family. They don't know if their child will end up as a salmon, a human, or a mermaid, but they're excited to find out. They decide to have 78 kids, one for each day of the year.

Narrator: Over the years, salmon and Wilby become the most beloved parents in the ocean. Their 78 children grow up strong and happy, learning the importance of love, family, and adventure. The couple often takes their brood on fishing trips, teaching them the art of fishing and the beauty of the ocean.

Narrator: As the years pass, their family grows, and their love only deepens. They continue to explore the ocean together, discovering new places and making memories that will last a lifetime. They remain the epitome of true love and partnership, proving that even in the vast ocean, a fish and a human can find each other and build a life filled with happiness and joy.

okay all i want to know is who sent me this and will you reveal yourself so we can be salmon and wilby

[crimson-moonflowers]

I agree with your tags about that one post you reblogged with hcs and people just basically going too far with their takes! With that being said, I would love to hear YOUR headcanons on Kakyoin that you feel really ride closest with canon, please feed us kak stans who have been suffering for too long ;W;

Anon, you have no idea how much I lost my mind reading this. Like- I've been trying to think of a way to answer this while still being coherent ALDKSKSKS

Now, this is MY PERSONAL interpretation of Kakyoin. A really dear friend helped me shape his backstory in a way that felt more... Natural (?) For the time he lived while also keeping the little information about him that Araki gave us.

So...

Obviously, his lonely background stays the same. He didn't have anyone as he grew up, which caused him to be pretty bad at "normal" social interactions. Now, to my headcanons/backstory:

The Kakyoin I have for my personal lore (and shared with friends) is actually the heir and next chairman to JVC, a japanese electronics empire funded on 1927.

Unlike a lot of people, I don't think he had a good relationship with his parents. I mean- we're talking about Japan in the 80's, it is most likely that they were strict as hell. This, mixed with what I said above, left him living a pretty hard life, with parents that controled pretty much everything about his life (acquaintances, the way he dressed, even what he ate), they just seaked for perfection, not caring about his opinion on things.

Because of his stand, and the pressure over him, he felt like an outsider, which gave his parents more reasons to believe he wasn't able to think by himself.

His parents even went as far as trying get her to marry the heiress of another company in order to inherit it.

Obviously, being himself and not liking to be under someone's foot, he rebelled against them as much as he could.

All this explains why he always acts so proper yet awkward, and why he is so sassy and "mean" when he is comfortable. And also why he didn't care about at least letting his parents know he was fine, or why they didn't look for him at all.

So, during a trip to Egypt, his parents got tired of him acting up, leaving him in the city with almost no cash and only the number of the Japanese embassy, as a way to teach him a lesson and show him how helpless he was without them.

Kakyoin, wanting to show not only his parents, but also himself that he was capable of everything, used his stand to steal things in oder to survive, and this caught DIO's attention.

And DIO, being the smooth talker he is, offered him "a job" at his manor. Kakyoing felt there was something weird about him, but it still was better than nothing.

His original plan was to work for him and save enough as to start living by himself, yet wanted to leave when the SDC events were about to start, hence the reason he ended with a fleshbud.

[dragon-ladybug]

MINE

ARMIN ARLERT X FEMALE READER (both needy af)

Currently thinking about possessive and needy Armin 😩 I've been thinking about this specific scenario for the past couple of days and it won't leave my head so I thought I should try to write it down this time.

It's my first time writing anything fanfic or smut related or anything like that. So I dunno how good it is. I accept any kind of criticism. Let me know what you think.

Minors, do not interact!

Contains: smut, fluff, established relationship, pet names, praising, cursing, oral sex (reader receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, semi-public sex.

If I missed anything let me know.

Armin is nothing but a sweetheart. Always so polite and put together, always so attentive and delicate with you in public. He started to act like he's your husband after 2 months of dating and you could only think to yourself that you're the luckiest person in the world for getting Mr. Arlert himself.

But that's the thing with Armin. He loves you and does everything for you without complaining. He treats you so delicately because he knows that way you can only come to him for more. He's your comfort, your home, your safe place. And he likes it that way. In a weird way, that gives him a sense of control over you that he feels like he needs to have. He couldn't take it if you wouldn't absolutely adore him. He needs it like the air he breathes. Though he won't say it out loud, he needs to be in control. Always.

Because that's just how Armin knows how to love. Deeply. Devoutly. What he loves needs to be for him and only him. Otherwise, all that effort means nothing. The sense of ownership that he feels over someone he loves is everything. And he won't accept a love that's different.

You never thought about it that way. Because he's just the best partner. He's perfect. Flawless. You never see his pride or his need for control. You only see his soft character. You think everything he does he does it for your own good. And that's actually true. But don't forget to praise him and always remind him that you're his little thing. Otherwise, you might push a button that will unleash that part of Armin that you've never seen before.

It's been a while since you and Armin have spent good time together. You always having work to do and him being stuck in his office until the sun sets made it so you only see each other in the morning, when you're both in a hurry, trying to get to work in time; or at night, when you're both so tired all you can manage to do is cuddle up in his arms with your head on his chest, exchanging sweet words until you both fall asleep.

But today you've had a pretty decent day at work and finished early, so you decided to visit Armin at his office. Maybe you could convince him to actually leave when his shift ends and not spend time locked there until he finishes all the paperwork. You knew he doesn't like to leave things unfinished, but he really needs to relax for once. If not, you're willing to stay there with him until he's done. That idea makes your heart aches for a moment because you realise just how much you miss your boyfriend's company. It's been a while since you and Armin have done anything but go to work and kiss and cuddle in the morning and before sleep. And that's not enough. You crave his touch like a stray animal craves a home. Without Armin's touch, you're homeless.

You knock on the door of his office and hear a tired "Come in!" You open the door slowly and enter the room. Armin is staying at his office and you can see his body all tensed up. Your man is just so tired. He has his head buried in papers and he didn't even move to see who entered the room. "Hey, baby!" you say and that's when Armin turns around with his chair and sees you. His gaze softens all of a sudden and you can see a smile appearing on his tired face. "Y/N, hey" he says with the sweetest tone and you already feel like melting. All you want to do is take your exhausted boyfriend out of there and kiss every inch of his body, showering him with love and adoration. You've been staring at his beautiful face for a while when you see him patting his lap, making you a sign to go and sit there. You comply and see your boyfriend's body relax under your weight. He turns the chair back around, now facing the desk. Looking at all the papers, his mouth escapes a small sigh.

"Don't you wanna leave these for tomorrow and come home earlier, baby?" you say to him, gently caressing his cheek with your thumb. You can feel him melting under your touch.

"I don't have much paperwork left to do. I think it will take me half an hour to finish here. Will you stay with me, Y/N? I promise it won't be long" his puppy eyes looking straight into your soul.

"Of course, baby. I'm here for you." You can see his look softening even more and you think to yourself there is nothing you would not do for this man. Armin moves his attention to the papers, willing to finish as fast as possible, while resting his head on your shoulder. You're trying really hard to contain yourself and not be all touchy with him because you want the paperwork done and your boyfriend all to yourself. He finishes his work after 40 minutes and sets all papers in a pile on his desk. He moves his attention back to you and you lock eyes with each other.

The moment his eyes are back on you, you can feel the energy of the room shifting. He looks at you like a humble puppy and you can't contain yourself anymore. You cup his face and pull him into a deep kiss. A small whine escapes Armin's throat. He stops and looks at you with those deep blue eyes.

"I missed you so much, Y/N!" he says burying his head in your chest. His voice becomes whiny and you can hear the need in his tone when he continues: "I'm glad you're here with me, baby! I missed you so so much! I need you!" while rubbing his head on your chest. He then takes your face in one of his hands and pulls you into a long deep kiss.

One thing leads to another and before you realise, you two kiss like you're trying to devour each other. His tongue slips into your mouth and you respond, playing with it while your hand travels to the back of his head, gently massaging his scalp. You put your legs on either side of Armin's hips, trying to get your body as close to his as you can. His hands begin to travel up and down your spine while his tongue plays with yours and you can feel your whole body shiver. The sound of sloppy kisses and heavy breathing fills the room. All you can think about right now is how much you need your boyfriend close to you. So close there is no space left between your bodies. Thinking about this you begin to grind against Armin's lap and he moans into your mouth. Both of you are so hungry for each other right now you forget that you're actually in his office with the door unlocked and that anyone could walk into the room at any time, needing to report God knows what to the 15th Commander.

You hear steps down the hall approaching. Armin can hear them too but he's so needy right now he doesn't care what the hell happened hell knows where. They can all wait for the report for all he cares. He has more important things to solve right now. Starting with the bulge in his pants.

"Baby, do you think we should stop? Maybe there's someone who needs to rep..." you can't finish the sentence cause Armin grabs you by the chin and kisses you again, slipping his tongue back into your mouth. You've never seen him like this. So needy he would cancel anything to touch you, even if it means he won't be there to solve some problems between the cadets who respect and admire him so much, or not send some important information to the Queen herself. Right now, he doesn't give a single shit about any of that. He needs you and that's all that matters. Anyone who gets in the way will push that button he buried deep down inside himself.

Someone knocks on the office door and you stop. You want to sit up from Armin's lap, hoping that you don't look too messy if the person behind that door sees you, but your boyfriend grabs your hips and holds you on his lap forcefully. You want to say something but he growls and you stop.

"Commander Arlert, I have a report for you from the..."

"Not right now!" you hear Armin say with the coldest voice.

"Sir, they told me to hand you this report personally."

"Is it important?"

"I don't know, sir. It's from the Military Police!"

"Is anyone hurt?"

"I don't think so, sir."

"Then it can wait. Leave!"

"But, sir.. They.."

"THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER, SOLDIER!"

You look at your boyfriend shocked. He looks like an angry animal with lust in his eyes. It is kinda funny and attractive altogether the contrast between his cute face with his button nose and the rosy cheeks and his serious gaze. But you've never seen that look. You tilt your head with curiosity while looking at his mad expression. You hear the soldier at the door say a humble "Yes, sir!" and the footsteps moving away from the door until you no longer hear them. All this time Armin pinned you down to his lap and you could feel his hard bulge underneath you. He didn't soften the grip for a second. You want to open your mouth to ask what's going on but Armin shifts his look back to you and you freeze. He has the coldest gaze now, looking at you with such lust in his eyes you don't know what to do. Your brain can no longer form sentences. You feel trapped in his embrace.

Seeing your expression change, his eyes go back to the soft puppy look and he takes his hands off your hips. You didn't realize how hard he was pressing his fingers into your plushy skin until now, when you can feel pulsating pain where his hands used to be. He touches your cheek softly while looking at you and you melt again. He then gets closer and kisses you behind you ear.

"Sorry, baby! I just missed you so much! I don't want anyone interrupting us." he whispers softly in your ear, his breath on your skin sending shivers down your spine again.

You go back to kissing him. Your lips barely touch each other this time, creating soft feathery kisses. That only makes you want more of him. You begin to kiss Armin harder. He starts to unbutton your shirt slowly while hungrily kissing your sore lips. You break from the kiss for a moment to take a deep breath.

"Can we lock the door, baby?"

"Of course, princess!"

He gets up with you in his arms and puts you down to sit on the desk. He then goes and locks the door. Coming back, he then spreads your legs so he can occupy that space between them and towers over you. You see his needy expression and become too aware of the wetness in your pants. You want him to fuck you stupid on his desk.

Your lips go back to kissing each other sloppier and sloppier. You bite his bottom lip and he groans, grabbing you gently by the hair and pulling you closer. He then starts to kiss down your ear and neck, sucking and biting, your chest rising and lowering at rapid rates while your breath gets heavier and heavier. Unbuttoning the rest of your shirt, he takes it off and buries his head in your chest again, cooing "I missed this so much, baby! I want you!"

His hands are everywhere on your body now and you don't know for how long you can take all of this. You need him. He unlocks your bra and throws it on the floor next to your shirt. His mouth attacks your right nipple and you moan. His other hand is softly carresing your inner left thigh and you feel like you're losing your mind under this man's touch. He goes to lick the other nipple, starting then to suck it gently when another moan escapes your mouth.

"Shhh, baby. You need to stay quiet."

But that only makes you more wet, if that's even possible right now. You desperately start to unbutton his shirt and then grab him by the back of his head. You pull him closer and start to kiss his neck, making him groan. That only turns you on more so you start licking him from the collarbone up to his ear. His breath becomes heavier and heavier until he starts to moan.

He touches the hem of your pants while looking at you and you nod to give him consent. He takes your pants off and starts massaging your left inner thigh, grabbing on your plushy skin and you instinctively spread your legs even more to make room for him. Your pussy aches from need right now and he can see that.

"Oh, baby. Your panties are soaked."

He groans at this view and slowly touches your folds over the panties. He hisses when he feels the slick through the fabric and looks at you with that same lustful and hungry gaze. You're so desperate to be touched you're trying to rub your pussy against his hand.

"So needy, princess. Do you want me to touch you?"

"Yes, please!"

"Mmm.. What a needy girl. Tell me, what do you want?"

"You. I need you, Armin. Please, touch me! Please please please!"

Your needy whines makes his cock so hard he feels his pants are going to burst. He moves your panties to the side and slips two fingers over your wet folds, groaning at the feeling.

"Fuck, baby. You're so fucking wet right now I can't. I need to taste you."

He kneels down and takes your panties off. He pulls you closer to him and buries his head between your thighs, starting to lick up and down slowly. You push your head back at the feeling of his tongue between your folds and moan. You need him to destroy you today. You wouldn't have it any other way.

"Armin.. Feels so good.."

"Mmm... You're so wet for me baby. Such a good girl. You taste so fucking good."

He starts giving kitten licks to your clit and you feel like you're losing your mind. You start to moan heavily so you cover your mouth with your hand. Looking up at you and seeing your aroused face makes Armin want to please you even more. He begins to suck at your sensitive clit and you lose it. You start to moan into your hand so loud but you don't care if anyone hears you anymore. He enters your hole with two fingers and keeps thrusting in and out of you until you feel the warmth in your tummy growing. You're on cloud 9 right now so you grab him by his blonde hair and start grinding on his face, desperately looking for release. That makes Armin moan with his face buried deep in your pussy, his mouth vibrating on your clit. You cum on his mouth, Armin licking you up and down to clean the mess you just made.

"You're doing so good. I need to feel you, baby. Do you think you can be a good girl and take it for me?"

"Yes, Armin. Please!"

He finally takes his pants off. When he pulls his boxers down, his hard cock slams his tummy. You stare at his hard member leaking with precum like a hungry animal and he notices.

"You like what you just did to me, princess?"

He positions himself between your legs again, puts your legs on either side of his hips and looks at you. He's so beautiful like this, naked and aroused, with his messy blonde hair and his blue eyes admiring you. You stop for a moment to look at each other and you can feel the adoration that's being shared between the two of you. His rosy cheeks and his sore lips makes you want to embrace him forever, with his toned muscles against your soft skin and his voice praising you until you melt.

"Ready, baby?" he asks and you wrap your arms around his torso, bringing him closer to you and giving him a deep kiss. He understand and starts entering you slowly, your slick and his saliva making it easy for his cock to push inside you. He starts picking a rhythm. Slow and deep at first.

"You're so wet, baby. I love it so much. Fuck."

Your moans grow in volume and he looks at you with satisfaction. His cold lustful gaze returns but you're too busy feeling it all to notice.

"Quiet, baby." he presses his lips to your ear while maintaining that slow deep pace. "You don't want anyone outside this office to hear your pretty moans, don't you?"

His breath on your ear and neck only makes it worse. Your pussy clenches around his cock.

"Ah, baby. You'd like that, wouldn't you? For them to know what Commander Arlert does to you behind closed doors?"

Something about his tone makes you keep clenching his cock and he groans. He puts your hands around his neck and secures your legs around his waist.

"Don't let go."

He sits up with you in his arms and his cock still inside you and he presses you hard against the wall for support. His thrusts feel deeper now. It feels like you have nowhere to escape. And God, you don't want that. You don't want any of this to end.

"Armin.."

"Yes, baby? Tell me." His tone is sweet and cold at the same time. Something about the way he controls the situation makes you want to beg for more and thank him like a puppy.

"Thank you, Armin! I.."

"Yes, baby?"

Thrust

"Tell me"

Thrust

"What is it?"

Thrust

Your moans are now uncontrollable.

"Can I cum? Please please please!"

Your question took him by surprise but it sure did send a shiver down his cock. You could feel his member twitch inside you.

"Yes, baby. Cum for me. You're such a good girl, taking my cock so well, baby!"

He thrust inside you even faster and harder than before. You can hear the sloppy sound of your act and the heavy breathing. You're pretty sure that if anyone is outside of the office door right now, they can hear everything too.

You cum hard on his twitching cock while he keeps the same deep and now faster pace and before you know, the warmth in your tummy grows for the 3d time today, making your eyes all watery and your vision blurry. You begin to moan without even trying to cover your mouth this time. You're so drunk on this feeling you don't care anymore. All you can do is moan his name desperately.

"Yes, baby! That's it! That's my good girl! Armin doesn't show any sign of wanting to let go except for his cock twitching hard inside you with every thrust.

"Armin, I love it. I love it, Armin! Please, don't stop! Please please please!"

"Anything for you, baby! That's it. You're doing so good, baby. Such a good girl!" he bites your earlobe and whines.

"Let them know who you belong to, baby" he whispers in your ear. "You're mine. All mine."

Thrust

"Mine."

Thrust

"Mine."

Thrust

"Mine."

Thrust

"Fucking mine."

Thrust

You start moaning louder and louder, which makes him go even harder on you. His name on your lips brings him closer to release. His moans become deeper. His heavy breaths come with little whines. You know he's close. The room is filled with the sound of your wet parts touching each other, your heavy breathing and loud moans and the sound of your ass hitting the wall with every thrust.

"Thank you, Armin. You're the best, baby! I love you so much! Thank you thank you thank you!" you begin to whine in his embrace and that sends him over the edge.

You can feel his cock pumping inside of you. His thrusts become sloppier. His moans louder. He fills you up while whining in your ear and that gives you your last release. Your pussy clenching his sensitive cock makes him groan and hiss against you. You think this is the most perfect view and sound in the world. There's nothing more beautiful than your Armin giving it all to you.

You remain in that position after your release to calm your breathing. He rests his forehead against yours until you both calm down. He kisses you and smiles. God, he's the most beautiful thing in the world.

He puts you down and kisses your sweaty forehead. All you want to do is suffocate him with all your love. You can't control yourself and cling to him, hugging his torso so tightly your boobs ache against his toned muscles. He chuckles and returns your embrace. You stay like that for a couple of seconds.

"Come on, baby! We need to clean ourselves. We made a mess here." he smiles at you and you melt again.

He takes some wet wipes from a drawer at his desk and starts cleaning you up. You do the same for him. After that, you hug him naked one more time.

"I love you so much, Armin!"

"I love you too, Y/N! I missed this."

"Me too. Though, do you think anyone heard us?"

"Obviously." he chuckles.

Your cheeks flush at that statement. He gives you a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about it, baby. I'll take care of it."

"Ok.."

He gives you another soft and deep kiss and looks at you.

"Though, I have to admit. I want them all to know who this lady belongs to."

Oh, I love these pics. He begs to be suffocated with love, I swear.

P. S.

Omg I didn't expect this to become such a long writing session lol. But I very much enjoyed it. I hope you did too.

I'm seriously thinking to turn this into a hobby, lol. It was fun.

You can also find me on ao3 at Dragongirl7734

[raspberryconverse]

This is basically why I got married. I literally did not think anyone else was going to want to be with me and I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life.

I joked about this all the time. "Nobody else was going to want to put up with me, so of course I wanted to marry [spouse]." But it was true.

I'm just realizing now how fucking sad that is because it wasn't a joke.

I think one of the most freeing things about polyamory for me is realizing this isn't true. For so long, I felt I had little to offer and nobody else was going to want to be with me, so I clung to my relationship with my spouse. This is as good as it's going to get, I'd tell myself. When I was complaining about my sad, boring sex life to my therapist and how I felt like I just settled, she said that everyone settles.

But I don't. As of today, I have 675 people who like me on Feeld (not including my 19 matches and who knows how many people I've swiped no on, because that decreases the number of likes you have). I have 3 wonderful beaus who like me for me (and a 4th who used to, but I honestly have no idea what's going on with him anymore and it's probably over with beau #2 if we're being honest). And they tell me so.

I haven't written about this yet, but my spouse and I decided to deescalate. And yeah, it kinda sucks after 2 years of marriage and 6.5 of being together, but it's for the best. We still love each other very much. We're still each other's family. And we still have sex sometimes. But the sex has never been great. And opening our marriage made us realize that. I mean, I knew it, but I resigned myself to thinking there was enough there to be happy. But there isn't.

We're not getting divorced. It's expensive and not really necessary at this point (and with all the shit that's been going down with my company, we want the benefit of having a spouse that if either of us loses our jobs, we can still have health insurance). It's really just a piece of paper. We're not selling the house because it's not a good time for it and we definitely wouldn't get back what we've put into it the last 2 years right now. And neither of us can afford to buy on our own and neither of us want to rent either (I think the only place I'd want to rent would be one of the units in beau #1's building because he'd be my landlord and then we'd be in the same building and could fuck a lot more often because I'd just be downstairs). We've been working on creating our own separate suites in the house. This turns our 3 bedroom into a 4 bedroom with a primary suite with an ensuite bathroom. Huge for resale value.

I'm having fun decorating my spaces. I just spent over $400 at Ikea on furniture and accessories and I honestly cannot wait to host. Being able to host is going to be a game changer for my relationship with beau #1, seeing as we always run into the problem of coordinating with his wife's boyfriend's inconsistent work schedule. It'll also be nice for beau #3 to come to me because he lives almost an hour away. And sleepovers! I used to not be "allowed" to have sleepovers because my spouse liked waking up in the morning to me being there, but now that we've deescalated, we're sleeping separately. Beau #3 can sleepover when he comes to visit or vice versa, so no more 50 min drives home at 2am. I actually slept over at beau #4's place last week and it was pretty nice (minus the not having my trazodone and having to get up at 6 because he had to go to work 😕).

It's still really sad. We're both still mourning what we thought we had, but it's really for the best. I honestly feel a huge sense of relief. I've felt like I've been failing my spouse when it comes to their varied gender states and now that I don't have to try and figure out how to make them feel more comfortable, I'm just relieved. I think that was one of the most crushing things I've been trying to deal with the last few months. And now that I don't have to worry about it, I feel a lot better. I can focus on what I'm good at with my other partners and not feel like a failure. That's huge for me.

We're going to be ok. I'm going to be ok. Life is moving in a good direction for us, all thanks to polyamory.

[cosmicalily]

stray kids 'ate' album review and ranking!

ugh omg i always say this about every album BUT THIS IS ONE OF THEIR BEST. this is going to change lives and literally be more influential than the renaissance, mark my words. i love skz's mashups because its so fun to piece together all the bits and pieces when you listen to the full album! from the very beginning, i claimed 'i like it' as my track because it had me going feral just from the snippet and i am OVERJOYED to say that it is still my favourite probably because i can lowkey relate to it which isn't actually a good thing help but we live and we love. the whole album is absolutely delectable and the title track is STUNNING! every track feels like it's literally the highest quality and i adore that, that's one thing skz never skimp on and i loved seeing how they talked about how they wanted to release the album earlier but didn't to work on the songs. i feel like not enough bands in kpop do this (not the fault of the bands, the fault of the companies) and they end up releasing really low quality music because it has a very limited timeframe and they're releasing tracks so often, so to see skz put so much effort (as they always do) to really make sure the album is the best it can be is so reassuring to me that there's a reason they are and always have been my number one and stood out to me. anyway, remember that this ranking is entirely my opinion and honestly there were NO misses in this album. they truly ate, if you will. feel free to disagree and let me know your faves in the comments!

'i like it' - NOT THE SITUATIONSHIP TRACK?? for some reason, i always fall in love with the dysfunctional relationship tracks (see: "collision" and "chill" being two of my all-time faves), and i think i'm realising it's because i relate to them in a way that's probably not good (there's this boy i've been very on and off liking and he might like me back but the mixed signals we're sending each other is so confusing) anyways, my gosh this track is absolutely delicious! when i first heard it in the mashup, i knew it was going to be the one i became addicted to. i listen to all of skz's songs pretty regularly, but there's a certain collection of songs, usually one per album, that just have something that has me fully addicted and unable to avoid. i get this feeling as soon as i hear the song in the mashup track and just immediately KNOW that its my 'one'. i'm seeing skz's 'dominate' tour for my birthday with my stay mama and they BETTER perform this song or i will be contacting people, and i'm not even kidding. there's a reason i befriended all the eshays in my school; we will take over jyp if i don't get to hear this live.

'runners' - I ADORE A WHOLESOME 'teamwork makes the dreamwork' ASS SONG AND SKZ HAVE BEEN WORKING OVERTIME HANDING THEM OUT LATELY! this is my lego batman movie track (sorry @thevampywolf) like it just gives 'teamwork makes the dreamwork' and i adore that. it reminds me a lot of 'blind spot', which is a song i hold very close to my heart, and the whole vibe these tracks give me is just nostalgia. 'lego batman movie' is the only way i can sum it up, but hear me out; that's my all time favourite movie, and i feel the same way about that movie that i do about these songs. i feel so proud (everyone's overcome so many challenges and come together!) and also so comforted (we've been rooting for them the whole time and they made it!). when i heard those vocals in the mashup, i knew this was going to end up being an album favourite. it's always the final chorus that gets me, 'blind spot' did the exact same thing. i love this so much. i love skz so much. if this is the outro song at the concert, i'll probably start bawling (i will regardless).

'chk chk boom' - i hate my brother. HATE HIM. he was watching the mv with me (he's also a stay) but had the nerve to say 'it lowkey sounds like dame tu cosita'. HE DID NOT. i won't be able to listen to it without thinking of that now. but i love this song, so i think i can cope. it's an absolute BANGER and feels so skz but also so different which i love! it's different, which skz always do, but also catchy. it's really difficult to create a track that is simultaneously super new and out there but also very memorable and easy to listen to, but skz have nailed that balance. i love the chorus, but the in between verses actually stuck out to me more for this one! the beat is so addictive and jisung in particular really stood out with his raps in this for me; he always feeds us good but this felt like it unlocked a new level of iconic. felix looked absolutely magical in the mv, and i'm so happy to see his freckles out and about! jeongin...don't even speak to me about him. it's reinforced the reason why i ended up with three biases: there's literally no way i can choose between him, minnie and hyunjin. my mum (minho bias) was also super excited to see minho get chorus time in the teaser! they all did so, so well and i'm so proud of my boys. the wait was well, well worth it.

'twilight' - the way this went straight onto my comfort song playlist was crazy; i was so excited to find out the piano sample in their teaser videos was actually in a song because i LOVE tracks like this! although i play a lot of high energy music, chill stray kids songs are probably the ones i end up listening to the most, because they're so comforting, especially when i'm going to sleep or overwhelmed. the beat for this is also really nice, and i like how simple the instrumental is, which allows their vocals to really shine through. i hope they do a live performance of this at the concert as well, it's so beautiful and feels so dreamy.

'mountains' - i'm not a huge shouty chorus fan, but when the mood is right, the mood is right, and THE MOOD IS RIGHT. will be screaming this at the top of my lungs when (not if) they perform it; it's such a banger and it was the PERFECT intro song for their album. the tracks skz select as the intro tracks are always so well fitted in setting the mood for the full album, which i think is so important (the worst thing is an album that lacks a consistent concept and theme). also, the background vocals are absolutely ADDICTIVE. as soon as i heard them in the unveil for this song, i lost my mind. i adore skz's vocals, i adore skz's raps; when they combine the two, i go ABSOLUTELY FERAL. this sticks with me the same way 'maniac's chorus does.

'stray kids' - don't. i'm going to cry. felix's soft vocals starting the song?? (no joke, when he started singing more and not just rapping, it felt like there was a whole new member's vocals in there; they're such a contrast to his usual and so angelic). this feels like another 'lego batman movie' track in the way it makes me feel so nostalgic and comforted; this song feels like watching a montage of their biggest, happiest moments and I FEEL SO PROUD OF THEM. i've been with them for so long, and know it's gonna take the world to stop me for me to leave.

'jjam' - I KNOW, YOU KNOW, LEE KNOW?? thank you skz for keeping that joke alive!! i know that the 'megaverse' and 'freeze' enthusiasts are going to lose their mind over this. ill admit, i don't usually listen to this kind of music since i find i have to be in a specific mood for it, but this would HIT SO HARD when i need it to. also only stray kids could write a song about condiments and make it slap so hard; part of me was expecting it to just mean 'jam' in the music sense and not necessarily literally but i love them using a double meaning. i was expecting a track similar to 'ssick' (because of the double first letter) but it's super different and i actually love that. slapped.

'chk chk boom festival ver' - LMAO NOT THE CLUB REMIX but on a serious note this does absolutely eat with the style of the song, skz are always very good at picking the right style of a remix to do for their songs (unlike producers that spam remix albums that sound so cheap COUGH 'one spark remixes' COUGH 'smart remixes' COUGH 'moonlight sunrise remixes') like this and the rock ver of 'lalalala' both work very well in their albums and this would go hard at a rave (acting as if ive been lmao) !!

[nordic-language-love]

Hii~ idk if you talked about it but could you tell us your journey in Japan? How is it + how did you manage to go there (if you want to share ofc!)

It's because I'd like to move to Japan and I'm trying to collect information on how to successfully go there.. so if you have any advice pls lemme know, I'd really appreciate it! Have a great day!

Hi there! I sure can :)

How I Got There

Pretty much everyone I know who came to Japan is an ESL teacher (not surprising given I am an ESL teacher and so are all my colleagues, and when I was doing research I mostly searched Youtube for people's ESL experiences in Japan). The most common route of application is via the JET Program. There are also a number of Eikaiwa companies that hire from abroad and will sponsor your visa (this is what I did - I'm happy to give you the details of my recruiter over a DM if you want). However, pretty much all of these options require you to have a bachelor's degree (doesn't matter what in). The main problem with these kinds of companies is you don't have much control over where in Japan they put you, and typically you won't be in a big city (although you might be in a surrounding area - one guy from my training group is based in Saitama). The pay's also not great (but as long as you live within your means, you'll be very comfortable and you can definitely save up).

Even if teaching English isn't something you fancy, it's probably the easiest way to get into Japan if you have a bachelor's. You don't have to be a native English speaker (although you should be at least a comfortable C1, ideally C2 level), and once you're in Japan you can find a job you actually want much more easily.

You can also try GaijinPot for more jobs - there's a section for people applying from overseas. But please check on places like Reddit or FB groups whether a job seems reasonable before applying; anything that advertises pay "per hour" is unlikely to be a liveable wage, and I've been told 240K/mo in Tokyo is not really sufficient (no problem for me out in the sticks, but Tokyo living costs are crazy).

How It Is

I love the nature here! I live in the Tohoku region so I'm surrounded by mountains and forests and I feel so lucky!

The summer sucks if you aren't a fan of the heat. We had 33-37ºC every day from mid-July to the start of September. I have a colleague who grew up in the UAE and he's been laughing at us all saying how beautiful the weather is, but for me, who is native to a cold and soggy little mound of grass in the Atlantic, it is horrendous. Not to mention the cicadas. Idk if there are cicadas where you live but I was NOT prepared.

You can get by without Japanese, but making the effort will go a LONG way. If you've only ever travelled in Europe or English-speaking countries, you'll probably have the impression that "everyone speaks English to some degree" and that you can always find someone with good enough English to help you. This is not the case in Japan! Your interactions will be very awkward if you don't make the effort. You'll probably be fine in bigger cities but more remote regions will be very difficult to navigate.

I understand Japanese a LOT better than when I first came here. I can still barely speak it, but I'm always surprised by how much I can pick up from the kids from the words I know and context (this is a huge advantage to teaching if learning Japanese is your goal: young kids will babble at you in Japanese CONSTANTLY). I'd probably speak it better if I made the effort to go out and talk to people but I'm shy lol.

I love the job! My colleagues are great and the kids are so much fun. My company does provides really good support and my work-life balance is perfect for me. I also get to use my creative side making classroom materials. But I don't get sick days and I only have 10 paid vacation days, 5 of which are at the end of the year and cannot be moved. I'm also pretty sure most other eikaiwas and Japanese companies will work you a lot harder, and you'll have much longer hours and higher expectations from your company.

Hope that helps! Best of luck with everything. Feel free to shoot me another ask if you have more specific questions!

[aspiesblog]

Welcome - understanding Asperger's

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I wanted to make this to help people understand Asperger's in adults better. When I try to do some research for my fiancé to help him understand my moods better, it only ever comes up with articles about children, or diagnosing Asperger's, never anything to help. I suppose, every person is different, and we all have our own ways of dealing with our moods. But I still want to maybe mostly help my fiancé (and myself) understand my moods and living with Asperger's, and how we can handle it together. No better place to start than introducing myself and telling my story!

So hello! My name is Olivia, or Livvy. I'm 32 years old and I live in the UK. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 22, so before that, life was confusion. I would have moments where I'd be in a situation enjoying myself, but all of a sudden I'd feel overwhelmed and need to leave and go to a quiet spot to feel better. Or I'd become totally obsessed with a video game, a character, a movie etc. But lose interest after a time. These moods confused me for a long while, but now, with an official diagnosis, I understand what they were, and why it was so difficult for me to make friends as a kid.

Fast forward to now, 32 years old and still trying to better understand my condition. I thought, there may be people out there like me also, trying to understand their own conditions but having to dig a deep tunnel on the internet to actually find anything useful (most of the time, it's not even useful) so, maybe my blog here will help some people!

Here are some of the things I tend to deal with on a daily basis, and some solutions I have yet to experiment with to see that they work, and some that do actually work, tested and proven by me! Red is not yet tested, pink is tested and approved to work

Dealing with

- sensory overload - when things get too intense (arguments, too many people, too much noise or too much light) I go into sensory overload and I tend to dissociate in those situations. I go quiet, and I can't perceive the world around me a lot of the time when I do

- solutions - cuddle with my fiancé when he's with me, cuddle my comfort shark plushie, watch some YouTube, hide under a blanket with my phone, find a quiet spot if I'm out somewhere or put on my headphones and listen to music

- meltdowns - occasionally (not often) I have outbursts of anger or feelings of intense sadness, and I say or do things that I regret (is this related to Asperger's? 🤔) this happens mostly during arguments, or when I've been on hold with the phone company for 40 minutes and then they just hang up on me

- solutions - when things have calmed down, me and my fiancé talk things out and I feel better, I take a breather and distance myself from people for a minute so I don't cause more stress

Stimming - something I do often, I make random noises when I'm happy usually. Not really got a solution for this one tho lol

Dermatillomania (skin picking) - I do this quite a lot, mostly at the skin around my finger nails or at my lips, they have become quite damaged

Solutions - playing with fidget toys, typing

These are pretty much the main things I deal with daily, some solutions have been tested (see chart above) some have not, but I hope these work!

Next, I'd like to give a list of my personality traits and some current hyperfixations, just to get to know me more I suppose!

Traits

- annoying (probably)

- overly affectionate

- always happy

- shy around new people, comfortable and happy around familiar people

- doesn't enjoy going out to crowded places a lot, but does enjoy a good holiday

- likes going swimming and finds it relaxing

- loves cuddling

Hyperfixations

- YouTube (mostly Jacksepticeye and CinnamontoastKen)

Stranger Things (Eddie Munson!)

- Minecraft

- Animal Crossing

- Pokèmon

- Disney movies

- Scrubs

- The Big Bang Theory

Well, I guess that's all for my first blog post! Maybe this wasn't as much a "how to deal with/help an adult with Asperger's" as it was a "getting to know you" post, but hey, I'm still learning + it's my first post! Thanks for reading

[poussacha]

Steddie Guide: A (Study) Guide for Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson Fanfiction (Part 2)

Okay I'm back with PART TWO of this Steddie Guide. If you'd like to read PART ONE, please click here. You can also view all of these in an airtable (as one part).

Again, just reiterating that this guide is LONG and I've been working on it for over a year. If I'm missing some of your favourites please understand that I follow a stict criteria for guides. I don't read anything with less than 10k or more than 500k. I ONLY read complete works (this includes series). And for this guide specifically, I didn't include fics with Billy Hargrove in them and didn't read many Modern AUs.

Without futher ado, here's the second part.

BEST OF AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Doing Nothing With You

by redoaktree | Rated M | 106,402

Steve and Robin get a two bedroom in Hawkins. It's perfect, except for all the ways it isn't. Drafty windows, clogged drains, shitty landlord. But it's got a couch. A couch that's often occupied by Eddie Munson. Home isn't really the kind of thing Eddie has much of anymore, ever since his trailer became the primary source for all his nightmares. Luckily, he knows of a semi-comfortable couch where he's always welcome.

Despite all it's problem, the house has perks. Primarily, it's somewhere Steve can actually call home. Secondarily, it's somewhere he can share with the people he loves.

AKA: The fruity four live in a convoluted roommate situation, and romance happens along the way.

Bookmark Comments: No notes.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 slow burns that ruined my life 𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 best of the best slow burns 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 100k+

-

BEST OF VOL 4 (and 5?) REWRITES

Sanctuary

by SpicedSage | Rated E | 47,584

After Steve Harrington goes missing, Eddie Munson gets exposed to the secret dangers of Hawkins, Indiana in 1985 instead of 1986.

Will a different first meeting lead to a change in his fate?

Bookmark Comments: How can something be so horny and so soft at the same time? God I love dirty talk. Why am I always the Steve in every scenario sfjsdlk (bc i’m stupid and submissive lbr)

Bookmark tags

𝗑 steddie guide to being super horny but also like in love and shit 𝗑 Domestic 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Kink 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 25k+

Not Fade Away (A Cover)

by dorcas_gustine | Rated E | 37,591

Vecna is dead, Eddie is cleared of all charges, Robin shakes on a bet and Steve Harrington has got game.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: This is what I imagine it's like to be loved.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 Vol 4 Rewrite 𝗑 this is the canon ending if you ask me 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

Just a rhyme without a reason

by doriangrayscale | Rated M | 78,139

The mall is destroyed. El’s lost her powers. Billy’s dead. So is Hopper. Steve is probably fucked up mentally for life, but what else is new? Steve has a pretty good thing going. He has kids to take care of, an awkward lesbian to advise. Max needs a big brother. Hawkins is his home, and Steve can’t just leave. Not while he’s still needed. He knows one day he won’t be. But for now, it’s enough.

Or: the Harringtons sell their house before the real estate market goes belly-up. Hawkins has been going downhill for years, anyway. His parents give Steve a choice: move with them and finally take that job at his dad’s company or get left behind. For Steve, it wasn’t much of a choice at all. He may not have a house anymore, but his BMW’s backseat has served as a bed plenty of times already. No one has to know. The party has enough problems to worry about.

Or: Eddie Munson worms his way into Steve’s sorry little life months before Vecna rears his ugly head.

Or: Steve Harrington, a character study.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 7/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: What do you mean this isn't how series 4 went? Fuck off.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 Vol 4 Rewrite 𝗑 Steve and Eddie fall in love before series 4 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 75k+

Weakened Like Achilles, with You Always at My Heels

by HMSLusitania | Rated M | 53,696

The graduating classes of 1985 and 1986 invite YOU back to West Hawkins! Welcome reception Friday, May 24th at 7:30pm. School and town tour to follow on Saturday morning. Memorial service Sunday. * If you are a graduate of the class of 1985 and need driving directions to West Hawkins, please RSVP * Due to current government restrictions, we are not currently able to offer a site visit to the Hawkins Exclusion Zone -- Steve Harrington goes home for his ten (well, eleven) year reunion with a nagging secret that's slowly ruining his life.

In the ten years between, he finds the family he always wanted and, unfortunately, the person he wanted to share it with.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: If this isn't how series 5 goes i will actually riot.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Stranger Things Vol 5 Canon Fuck Off 𝗑 Stranger Things Fix-Its 𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 Falling in love with a ghost…sorta 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 50k+

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BEST OF SLOW BURNS & ROMANCE STORIES

Fade Into You

by annabeeus | Rated M | 52,204

Steve Harrington doesn't need help. He just needs to get through this summer without completely falling apart. Unfortunately, it seems like Eddie Munson has other ideas.

(or: the one where they fall in love with each other, bit by little bit)

Bookmark Comments: Goddddd of all the fics with domestic fluff and slow burns this is the only one that Gets It djfjdjjf

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Domestic 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Stranger Things AUs Done Right 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 50k+

The Worst Mixtape Ever Made

by nbfutureboy | Rated M | 17,999

“It’s a gift, so you gotta listen to the whole thing, okay? I think-- I think it’s got what it takes.”

There’s an art to making a mixtape - and Steve Harrington has decidedly ignored all semblance of art in creating a mixtape for Eddie Munson. Too bad Eddie’s fascinated with how impressively terrible his song choices are.

[Written Post Vol. 1, Pre Vol. 2. Now an 'Eddie Lives' fic.]

Bookmark Comments: I love when people use music to tell stories especially when it feels right.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 excellent use of music 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 10k+

STRIKE TEN.

by oaseas | Rated T | 16.075

Steve’s striking out. It’s the summer after his graduation, he’s working 9-5 at Scoops Ahoy, and hey, did you hear? He’s striking out. Enter Robin, her ‘you rule/you suck’ board, and a promise to romance the next girl through the door. Except, that’s no girl. That’s Eddie Munson.

Or: One double scoop of pining, please!

Bookmark Comments: Dammit i love stupid fluffy Eddie and Steve parent Max i just--

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Steve is an idiot 𝗑 No Upside Down AUs 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

A Sign of the Morning

by ToEdenandBackAgain | Rated M | 86,804

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life.

Bookmark Comments: These boys deserve every happiness and so does Robin.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Domestic 𝗑 fluff 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 75k+

Not So Bad

by outofmygourd | Rated M | 43,409

Vecna is dead. It's the summer after the party's freshman year. Steve Harrington spends it in the Family Video Store, and Eddie Munson is spending post-graduate life bothering him. And maybe Steve isn't as bothered as he used to be.

Bookmark Comments: I just love this story so much

Bookmark tags

𝗑 companion fics 𝗑 fluff 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

Keep it Steady, Eddie

by outofmygourd | Rated E | 104,812

Eddie Munson doesn't mind working at the Family Video Store. It's a nice sense of normalcy (not to mention money) and he gets to see Robin more because of it. However, between working together and sharing the same best friend, he's also been seeing a lot more of Steve Harrington.

He wants nothing more than to enjoy mindless fun with his friends now that everything with Vecna is over, but Eddie's finding it hard to move on from what happened. Even if the strangest thing in his life right now was simply the fact he and Steve Harrington might actually be friends.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 7/5 Stars (I'm ignoring that only half of these have a star rating, some of them just got deleted and idk why)

Bookmark Comments: This is the slow burn long fic I was so fucking desperate for for like my whole fucking life.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 romance done right 𝗑 slow burn 𝗑 best of the best slow burns 𝗑 stories i can’t stop thinking about 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 100k+

take my hand

by actuallymaxie | Rated M | 17,056

Eddie Munson doesn't mind working at the Family Video Store. It's a nice sense of normalcy (not to mention money) and he gets to see Robin more because of it. However, between working together and sharing the same best friend, he's also been seeing a lot more of Steve Harrington.

He wants nothing more than to enjoy mindless fun with his friends now that everything with Vecna is over, but Eddie's finding it hard to move on from what happened. Even if the strangest thing in his life right now was simply the fact he and Steve Harrington might actually be friends.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: How many of these am i even gonna bookmark god help me i am GAY, fellas. (Future talls: it was SO many)

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 the real gay agenda 𝗑 just queer things 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

to live my own way

by Macellarius | Rated E | 21,491

Under a much different circumstance, Eddie would have loved to have Steve’s eyes looking over him like that, would love to have that determination focused on him, but Eddie is very much dying, he knows it, so he smiles at Steve’s misplaced confidence instead, “High expectations, Stevie. Where’d you learn to swing like that anyway?”

“I’ll tell you,” Steve’s voice is a bit shaky, his tone wavering, even as he puts on a brave face, “but you have to stay alive, Munson.”

If he had more strength, he’d consider testing his luck one last time, tease Steve by asking if he swings for Eddie’s team, but- he’s tired.

Dying young. What a fucking nightmare.

Or, what if the Party defeats Vecna in time, and Eddie lives?

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: What do you mean this isn't canon?

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 happy endings 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 10k+

We’ll Know for the First Time

by KikiZ | Rated E | 41,993

“Hey,” Steve’s smile is soft, tentative. “Heard you were having a party over here.”

“What are you…” Eddie swallows hard, mouth dry. He wishes every teacher that ever told him he talked too much could see him now.

“I was hoping that invitation still stood,” his eyes are drilling into Eddie’s and he can’t explain why he needs this so much, but he does. Every beat of his heart is begging Eddie to open the door, to let him in.

There’s a beat, a catch of their eyes and Eddie shifts, pushes the door open wide, whispers, “of course,” whispers, “always.” His heart is in his throat, he can’t pull his eyes away as Steve steps in, crowding him so close they share a breath. He can feel Steve’s gravity pulling him in and he’s never wanted to collapse so badly.

OR: Eddie gets to have a good life.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Here i am bookmarking another Steddie Fic that ripped my beating right directly out of my chest.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 happy endings 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 25k+

Home By Now

by thegreenwitch98 | Rated G | 10,812

By far, the strangest thing about the last two days was not the little twerps from Hellfire that spouted off about something called ‘the Upside Down’, it was not Nancy Wheeler with a gun, or the idea of the town going on a deranged hunt for his head.

The weirdest thing, that he couldn't seem to wrap his brain around, was the presence of Steve Harrington.

***

Eddie Munson wasn’t used to people wanting him around, but now it seemed like no matter where he turned there was someone who cared about him.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Back on my Steddie bullshit. Wish this was way way WAYYYY longer because it was so fucking good 😭.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Sweet 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 10k+

Learning to Fly

by actuallymaxie | Rated G | 16,595

When Steve was six years old, he told his mother he wanted to fly. When he was twenty, he learned what that really meant.

This is a reimagining of the end of Season 4 Vol 2 because I wanted to see a little bit of a happy ending in there. Alternative title: Steve Harrington’s Big Gay Crisis

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Sup people who check my bookmarks for recs. I've got the stranger things steddie brain rot too. This one was so good i wept real tears ...for like an hour. Read it!

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 fics with happy endings that still ruined me emotionally 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

we are the lighthouse and the storm

by hydrangea_bush | Rated M | 30,229

Steve meets Eddie again after two years and remembers the affectionate relationship he'd tried to forget.

// A story of young love, teenage rebellion, and rekindled romance with a happy ending

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Honestly this tore me to pieces emotionally and I loved every second of it.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 self soothing 𝗑 Being Perceived 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Love isn’t enough 𝗑 no upside down 𝗑 the terrifying ordeal of being known 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

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BEST OF LARPING

The Shire is NOT on Fire

by kissesforcas | Rated E | 54,148

The kids convince Steve to take them all to a Renaissance Faire and LARP event.

Steve has more fun than he admits.

And then Steve has a LOT more fun than he admits.

Bookmark Comments: Oh my god??? Oh my GOD????

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Kink 𝗑 Renaissance Faires 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Stranger Things AUs Done Right 𝗑 Multi POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 PERSONAL TOP TEN 𝗑 50k+

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BEST OF STEVE & EDDIE FALL IN LOVE BEFORE VOL 4

Positive Touch & Hangin’ On (Series)

by SheWritesDirty | Rated E & E | 7,908 & 11,128

Positive Touch: Steve, who recently lost his friend (but more importantly his gopher) Tommy, found himself in dire need of getting well and truly high. A problem that found him standing in the middle of Hawkin's trailer park at night, hesitating on the stoop of one particular trailer that he'd usually never risk getting caught dead at.

Still... weed. The weed was gonna be worth it.

Hangin’ On: Steve is freaking out about the fact that Eddie Munson gave him a hand job his graduating year, and how he sort of returned it.

Things escalate.

Bookmark Comments: Sometimes you just. Gotta write horny porn series for your faves and this is probably the only one I'll ever care about. & I am such a sucker for good porn and this is the good eat good shit.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Kink 𝗑 hot hot hot 𝗑 Idiots in love 𝗑 queer shit 𝗑 porn that definitely didn’t call out my own personal porniness 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

darlin’ you give love (a bad name)

by Thorinoakentwing | Rated E | 24,426

The first time he hears Dustin and Mike mention the name Eddie Munson he almost walks into a VHS display at work.

Steve wants to ask them how Eddie’s doing but then his face from that last party flashes into his head and he always clams up. If he was Eddie he’d want nothing to do with him and rightly so.

Instead Steve teasingly complains about how much time they spend with Eddie and that’s as far as it goes.

Bookmark Comments: God i am a sucker for these AUs

Bookmark tags

𝗑 queer agenda 𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

stereoscope

by seraphy | Rated E | 60,893

Here's Steve Harrington's biggest secret, though: It's not the alternate dimension brimming with monsters or the impossible girl with powers. It's the fact that he and Eddie Munson have been friends all along. In an on-and-off, tangential, fucked up kind of way. Never on his own terms. But still friends.

Bookmark Comments: This has got to be one of the best and most personal stories I've ever read. It fucking gutted me in the best way. I want to eternally thank you for writing this.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 trauma like mine 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 personal top ten 𝗑 50k+

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BEST OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY & PLATONIC INTIMACY

a goddamn blaze in the dark

by jolt | Rated T | 20,355

Eddie doesn’t know how to act around Steve, doesn’t know how to reciprocate the openness. Truthfully, he doesn’t think he’s done anything to deserve it.

But there’s something in Steve’s eyes, gears that are shifting and turning behind them, like he’s trying to deduce something. And Eddie wants to tap into it, wants to take a chisel to his skull and excavate it. Why are you always looking at me like that? he wants to ask. Tap tap tap. Why are you still giving me the time of day?

Or, Eddie's never had a friend like Steve before.

Bookmark Comments: This shit was so good I don't even know what to fucking SAY. Like I'm SPEECHLESS.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Hurt/Comfort 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 10k+

Steve Harrington’s Guide to Touch

by how_about_no | Rated M | 18,863

Eddie won't stop touching anyone and everyone, except for Steve. He has a plan to change that.

--

“You can touch me.” That was not how Steve intended for it to come out. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times.

Eddie had frozen with his fingers halfway to his mouth. Smoke curled from his cigarette between them. He raised his eyebrows, then frowned, then bit his lip.

“I can-” Eddie said slowly, his face still rolling through several emotions without landing on one- “touch you?”

Bookmark Comments: Listen I'm ace this is everything to me somehow.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 platonic intimacy 𝗑 fluff 𝗑 ace shit 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

it’s called freefall

by barelyjoyous | Rated M | 11,633

Steve reached a hand out until Eddie passed the beer back, and leaned forward, looking carefully at the notebook Eddie had left open on the table.

“So, what story are you telling then?”

Eddie smiled then, eyes bright. Steve smiled back, ducked his head down and grabbed the notebook from the table to flip through it.

Eddie talked for hours, and Steve had tried to keep up until he finally understood most of what he was saying, and when he finally cleaned everything up and tucked it back into a box in his room, Steve had followed him in.

Eddie had changed the tape to Motley Crue, Steve’s least favorite, and he’d finished the six pack he’d brought while Eddie rolled a joint.

When he woke in the morning, Eddie’s legs were crossed over his, and Steve’s hand was on his arm.

----

Steve can't sleep. Eddie can't sleep. They unpack a trailer together.

Bookmark Comments: God this is insanely beautiful. I don't even really mind that the ending felt kind of rushed because Eddie saying "You wanted a family, Steve" destroyed me so thoroughly I will never fucking recover.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

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BEST OF EDDIE RUNS AN ADVICE COLUMN BC WHY NOT (I loved this fic ok)

Lovesick in Loch Nora

by redoaktree | Rated M | 62,603

Even though Eddie's name has been cleared legally, he's still very much on trial in the court of public opinion. Dealing drugs isn't a lucrative occupation anymore, and getting a legitimate job in a town who still considers him a killer isn't much of an option, either. Eddie is beginning to think skipping town and starting over somewhere no one knows his name is the only chance he has left. Steve has another idea.

AKA: Steve gets Eddie a job as an anonymous columnist at a local newspaper.

Bookmark Comments: Fanfictions that made me gayer somehow. But also i am so serious that i screenshotted so many of the paragraphs for this one because it Hurt Me In My Soul.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 fluff 𝗑 journalisme 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 50k+

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BEST OF FUCKIN WITH THE TIME AND SPACE CONTINUUM

I’ve seen your face before, my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am

by HMSLustiania | Rated M | 26,952

At the end of it all, to fix everything, the Hawkins crew had to go back to 1983 and prevent the first gate from ever opening.

After that, they've got a chance to lead normal lives -- from November 1983 onward.

OR

Waking up to find out the government had busted a bunch of experimented-on kids out of Hawkins Lab over the weekend is somehow not the strangest thing that happens in Eddie Munson's junior year.

No, that's a toss up between being reverse-adopted by a party of middle schoolers and the fact Steve Harrington won't stop staring at him.

Bookmark Comments: Oh my god i love found family and bisexual crisis Steve Harrington.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 AUs 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 25k+

the lathe

by palmviolet | Rated M | 82,574

"This time, do it right. This time Eddie won’t bleed out in his arms, in anyone’s arms. This time, Steve will do it right."

— or, steve relives the day they try to kill vecna over and over, and eddie just can't seem to stop dying. steve finds this totally unacceptable.

Bookmark Comments: This is everything to me.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Found Family 𝗑 Time Loop AUs 𝗑 motherfucking gUTwRENCHING 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Multi POV (Mostly Steve) 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 personal top ten 𝗑 75k+

The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting

by badpancake | Rated T | 41,496

It’s the first time in a while that he doesn’t know what comes next. He’s dove into the water hundreds of times. Screamed as his flesh was torn apart, heard Master of Puppets in the distance and held back tears. Felt Max’s cold, small hand in his as she laid in the hospital bed. There are things that always happen, no matter how hard he tries: El doesn’t arrive in time. Eddie dies. Max is put in a coma.

Steve fails. They lose.

“Steve, how many loops have you been through?”

His head is nodding, and his eyes are watery, and Eddie has approached him like a spooked animal.

“I lost count.”

AKA: The one where Steve Harrington is stuck in a time loop, and Eddie Munson is really fucking hard to save, or: fuck Volume 2, these bitches are in love.

🌟✨⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐✨🌟 10/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Okay this fucking destroyed me emotionally and I'm sobbing at 3am lmao. (Future talls: this fic basically started the whole obsession of me reading nothing but Steddie fics for an entire year, so definitely read this one)

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𝗑 Best of time loops 𝗑 time loops 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 25k+

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BEST OF EDDIE LIVES AND BECOMES FAMOUS

Thank I’ll Go Inside

by nobetterlove | Rated E | 13,833

Steve and Eddie share a night before Eddie leaves Hawkins to chase his rock star dreams with Corroded Coffin. That singular moment in time changes them. Twelve years pass where both Eddie and Steve feel each other's absence as life and careers move on around them. Read to see what happens when Eddie's first solo single brings the two of them back together. Does distance and time truly make the heart grow fonder?

Or - a sorry excuse for a future fic!

Bookmark Comments: Oh thank God i thought this got deleted i will now be bookmarking it for the rest of my fucking life ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (Technically I broke AO3 rules for this fic)

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 stories that made me blush down to my bones 𝗑 Multi POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 personal top ten 𝗑 10k+

my way, your way (anything goes)

by rogersharrington | Rated E | 25,472

A guitar riff came out over top of all the other instruments and Steve froze in place, the smile on his face disappearing.

He knew that riff. He had heard it enough times over the summer of ‘86 to know it as soon as it started. Hell, Steve was there when it was written.

“Indianapolis, how are we fucking feeling?!”

The guitarist had run out from the side of the stage, wide smile on his face, strumming the riff over and over on his cherry red electric guitar as he spoke to the crowd. Eddie fucking Munson.

or;

Rockstar!Eddie Munson au set in the summer of 1988 where Corroded Coffin opens for Guns N’ Roses after Eddie ran away from Hawkins. Steve sees him for the first time in over a year and old feelings resurface.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: I literally took the entire day off work to read this it was so good. I physically could not move from my bed until i read the entire thing.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

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BEST OF MODERN AUs

Press Your Space Face Close to Mine

by DiscoSuperFly | Rated E | 12,255

Steve thinks Chicago is a gritty amazing city-filled with so many of his friends, but working for his dad can be soul crushing, until there's a new food truck near the office.

Steve tries a new food truck and is hooked the moment one of the kooky workers catches his eye.

Bookmark Comments: Fics that i wish were longer bc they destroyed my soul (affectionate).

Bookmark tags

𝗑 fics i wish were longer 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Modern AUs 𝗑 Food Truck AUs 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 10k+

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BEST OF FAKE DATING AUs

Date me instead

by Zhuletta | Rated E | 43,744

Every date Steve has gone to lately has been horrible. It’s impossible that there’s something wrong with the entire female population of Hawkins, so surely there must be something wrong with him.

“Why don’t you take me on a date then?”

“Wh— what?”

“Take me on a date, pretend, of course, and then I’ll tell you if there’s something wrong with you or not.”

Or: Eddie proposes a crazy idea to see if there's something wrong with him, Steve finds the fact that it works is even crazier.

🌟⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌟 7/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Augh yes the fluffy fake dating AU we all need 😭

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 fake dating trope 𝗑 fellas is it GAY 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 25k+

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BEST OF KINK

We Should Just Kiss (Like Real People Do)

by Oonionchiver | Rated E+ (YOU’VE BEEN WARNED) | 88,428

‘Please?’

Eddie stops him again, this time by holding his face. Steve feels Eddie’s thumb moving over his cheek, he feels the cool metal of his rings. He feels everything except what he needs.

‘I’ve never loved anything the way I love you, Steve Harrington,’ Eddie says, dark brown eyes moving between Steve’s own. ‘This isn’t the moment, sweetheart.’

It’s not a rejection, but it’s not a kiss. Steve quietly cries, insides cut up on the broken shards of his stupid little heart and Eddie holds him, he holds him all night until they fall asleep together.

✨🌟⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌟✨ 10/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: This one completely and utterly gutted me. It's kinky, it's precious, it's full of love and comfort and hurt and godddd i am inconsolable after reading it. I don't think anything ANYTHING has ever meant so much to me.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 kink treated with respect 𝗑 Kink 𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 greatest works I’ve ever read 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Kink done right 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 PERSONAL TOP TEN FICS OF ALL TIME 𝗑 75k+

don’t go wastin your emotions

by kissesforcas | Rated M | 51,650

"Steve 'the Hair' Harrington, a rage-filled barbarian, who knew?" Eddie says, like its a compliment, like Steve has ANY idea what that means.

"Uh, I knew. Obviously." Steve says, wisely, even though he clearly didn't. "Anyway, do you think we could eat a demobat? Or would we turn into some kind of monstrous freak? I'm starving, and Dustin's cheese crackers are not enough to get me on my feet again."

"What difference does it make to me if I'm a human freak or a monster one?" Eddie shrugs, and Steve butts his shoulder up against Eddie. It's meant to be brotherly, maybe friendly, but it's too soft. Felt like something he might have done before slinging an arm around a girl's shoulders.

"You're not a freak." Steve says, and finds he means it.

Eddie's eyes, when he looks at Steve, are curious. "No?"

"No."

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: Honestly. I just. The fluff? The smut? Steve fully hitting on Eddie in the full light of god and everyone and Dustin and Lucas YELLING about it? This it Good Shit. It's GOOD SHIT.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Kink done right 𝗑 Kink 𝗑 Fluff 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 50k+

Black Out Days (Fairground Nights)

by Oonionchiver | Rated E | 139,167

‘I think,’ Steve says slowly, reaches for Eddie’s abandoned, untouched beers. ‘You don’t know me very well.’

‘I don’t know you at all, man. I don’t really want to.’

Steve’s throat works. It’s subtle, but Eddie sees it. He hides it with a swig of beer, but when he sets it down, his smile isn’t quite so bright. Twice as sharp, though.

‘The self-centred asshole who can only be decent to a single human being, I get it. It works for you.’ Then he takes a thick, heavy breath. The alcohol is hitting him, Eddie can tell. ‘And I am being civil. I’m here, aren’t I? You have any idea how hard it is for me to be here?’

‘In a bar?’

Steve doesn’t answer.

✨🌟⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌟✨ 10/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: You know why this is here I don't have to tell y'all anything

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Kink 𝗑 BDSM 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 stories that stole my fucking breath 𝗑 no upside down 𝗑 Modern AUs 𝗑 Eddie’s POV 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 100k+

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THE BEST MOST TRANSFORMATIVE WORK IN THE STEDDIE TAG (ok I'm biased, but i'm also right)

the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you

by greatunironic | Rated E | 34,987

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth.

🌟✨✨🥤⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🥤✨✨🌟 44/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: THIS STORY MADE ME CRY SO HARD MY FUCKING CHEST RATTLED. Everybody else go home. Nothing will ever be as good as this. Nothing.

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 greatest works I’ve ever read 𝗑 stories that made me cry so hard i threw up 𝗑 stories that made me cry more than I’ve ever cried in my life 𝗑 stories that destroyed me 𝗑 found family 𝗑 Works that both destroyed and shaped me as a person 𝗑 the best and worst things to ever happen 𝗑 i am so serious i didn’t sleep for two days after reading this it fucked me up that bad 𝗑 BEST OF TAG 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 TOP TEN 𝗑 25k+

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BEST OF STEVE'S BISEXUAL AWAKENING

Broken House Behind Me and Good Things Ahead

by lichtbringer | Rated M | 33,139

“Steve… Stevie.” Eddie mumbles, shaking Steve's shoulder.

It takes Steve far too long to blink his eyes open, and when he does, it's to find Eddie, still rumpled from sleep, looking down at him with red cheeks and a sheepish smile.

“Huh?” Steve asks, raising his head from where it was nestled against Eddie.

“As much as I’m loving you all over me, sweetheart.” Eddie teases and Steve blinks at him, still struggling to process the words. “You’re gonna have to let me go for a minute.”

It takes Steve another moment, and then the realisation sinks in. Well, fuck. He fell back asleep, didn’t he? And now Eddie is awake and Steve is going to have to deal with the motifying ordeal of apologising for wrapping around the guy like a clingy octopus.

Even after Vecna's defeat and the charges against him being officially dropped, the people of Hawkins are far too willing to buy into the idea of the supposed satanic powers of Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson.

Tensions spike and Eddie finally does what he should have all along: he leaves Hawkins behind - he just didn't except to do so with Steve by his side.

Meanwhile, Steve finally gets the push he needs to understand what he is feeling.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: THE YEARNING!?!?!? THE EMOTIONS!?!?!? I'M SHOOK!!!!!!?

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Emotional Damage 𝗑 Yearning 𝗑 Pining 𝗑 best Steve realises he’s bisexual fic in the fucking tag actually 𝗑 just queer things 𝗑 the real queer agenda 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

The Edification of Steve Harrington

by ChronicRabbit | Rated E | 44,129

It had been two and a half months since the end of Spring Break.

Eddie had been cleared of all charges, The Byers were back in Hawkins like they’d never left, Vecna was dead and gone, and everything was back to normal; or rather as back to normal as Hawkins could get.

Unfortunately for one Steve Harrington, his new normal seemed to be not only his inability to get a date, but also his newfound proclivity towards staring at Eddie Munson’s mouth while he dramatically narrated during a five hour Hellfire session, or counting the freckles on the bridge of his nose, or memorizing the patterns in his honey coloured eyes.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5 Stars

Bookmark Comments: I really need to make a Steddie guide like my Dasey one and this will definitely be on there. (AND I DID! AND IT IS ON HERE! HI!)

Bookmark tags

𝗑 Steddie Guide 𝗑 like study guide 𝗑 Get it? 𝗑 Steve’s POV 𝗑 25k+

Go to Steddie Guide Pt 1 →