#I've only read through chapter 186 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratshaws · 1 year

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through the hourglass 219. brb x oc

a/n: no rooster in this one but for a good reason (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

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/210/211/212/213/214/215/216/217/218

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She missed the Hard Deck, truly, she really missed this place. She runs her palms over the wood, nicked because of drunk patrons or just her and Shells carrying heavy stuff inside only for Penny to sigh when she notices it. In reality, she knew her maternity leave was still going, but she’d love to return.

Maybe that’s why Penny asked her to come right?

To return?

Not that she’d mind waiting a bit longer, but her mind needed a bit of a break from the constant fear and anxiety that climbed up her brain like a spider monkey ready for a bite…weirdly specific. She left Nikki with Michael - ‘I’m going to take her bank robbing’ ‘Michael,no’- while she came over, hopefully it wouldn’t be long, Mike had no work and Hannah was going to show up later to check on him so her daughter was safe.

Beatrice looked up at the door, blinking when she noticed a camera looking down at her, the whirring of the zoom hitting her ears before it turned away. Beatrice then walked inside, inhaling the smell of known lemon scented products hitting her nose, she remember how that smell used to burn her nose when she started, “Hello?” she calls, placing her bag on one of the seats as she walks further.

She could hear the ice machine on the back,followed by a quiet - yet known - curse, “Shells?’ she calls, looking in the direction the voice came from, “You here?”

“Yeah!” her friend replied, “Can you help me with this? This ice machine is making me regret ever ordering it.”

She couldn’t lift heavy stuff and she voiced it to Shells, only for her friend to reply, “It’s nothing like that! Come on! Rooster won’t kill me because of it.” and so she went. There were new glasses on the shelves, new mugs - undoubtedly some were broken in her absence - and a brand new keg in the back. One she couldn’t help but admire it.

But as Beatrice approached the location where the ice machine was, she just stared at the thing…it was open, very open and Shells was crouched next to it, “...hi…” she points to it, “Are you…fixing it?”

Shells, crouched beside the open ice machine, looked up from her task when she heard Beatrice's voice. Her eyes widened in mild surprise, and a bright smile crossed her face. She wiped her hands on a nearby rag before standing up.

"Hey, you made it!" Shells exclaimed, her tone a mixture of genuine pleasure and slight relief. "Yeah, I'm trying to fix this contraption," she gestured to the open ice machine with a chuckle. "I mean, I didn't want to bother you, but I've been wrestling with it for a while now, and I thought maybe your expert eye could spot what's wrong."

“My…expert eye?’

“I also wanted to gossip,come on.”

Beatrice couldn't help but laugh at Shells' admission. She approached the ice machine, her hands instinctively moving to her hips, "I’m not the best at this,Shells,I’m not sure what I’m looking at.," Beatrice said, her tone lighthearted. She bent down to peer into the machine, her fingers tracing over the exposed components. “In fact,I don’t even know why you called me when Penny could do it.”

Shells made a noise through her nose, lying down on the floor to unscrew something out of Beatrice’s sight, "Well," Shells began, her voice slightly muffled as she worked, "Penny's great with tech stuff, but she's been busy with some security upgrades around here. Plus, I want your company."

As Shells continued to tinker with the ice machine, Beatrice couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over her. The familiar scent of the bar, the sound of Shells cursing playfully, and the sight of the Hard Deck's interior all brought back memories of her time here.

"So, how's everything been going?" Beatrice asked, her tone casual. "While I've been... away."

Shells glanced over at Beatrice as she continued her work. "Oh, you know, the usual. We've had some rowdy patrons, a few broken glasses, and one memorable night when someone decided to try their hand at bartending, aunt Penny tossed him out. Let's just say it was an adventure."

Beatrice chuckled at the mental image of Rooster behind the bar. "I can only imagine. And what about you, Shells? How have you been holding up?"

Shells paused in her work, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Honestly, it's been a bit different without you around," she admitted. "But we've managed. Penny's been a huge help, and Jessie too but…It's not the same, though."

Beatrice smiled warmly, touched by Shells' words. "I've missed all of you too," she confessed. "But you know,” she shrugs, “I can’t come back so soon.”

“Yeah,I know.”

‘I thought Penny wanted to talk to me too?”

Shells made a face, then let out a ‘oh!’ “Yeah,something about,” and she tugs a wire from the outside, holds it in front of her eyes and mutters ‘eh,we won’t need it’ before tossing it away, “About something she saw? Not sure,she didn’t tell me.”

“Something she saw?’

“Yeah,’ she gestures around the bar, “I’m sure you noticed the amount of new cameras we got all over, aunt Penny is getting…a bit paran-well, not paranoid. I think she’s being careful, more than normal. Those corpo guys really fucked her mind up.”

"Yeah, I saw them," Beatrice said, her expression thoughtful. "I guess it makes sense, especially with everything that happened. But if Penny wants to talk to me about it, I'm all ears."

Shells nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I think she just wants to fill you in on what's been going on, get your perspective maybe." she shrugs, “Dunno.”

Beatrice considered this for a moment. She knew that her time away had created a gap in her knowledge about the bar's operations and the current state of affairs. It might be a good opportunity to catch up and see how she could help, even if she wasn't quite ready to return to work full-time.

Or how she could help in any way.

"Alright, I'll talk to Penny when I get the chance," Beatrice said with a determined nod. "In the meantime, let's see if we can figure out what's wrong with this ice machine. Two heads are better than one, right?"

Shells grinned. "Absolutely. And if all else fails, we can always call in the professionals."

Beatrice chuckled. "You mean Penny?”

“Yeah, of course.”

As Beatrice and Shells continued to work on the ice machine, the sounds of laughter and camaraderie filled the Hard Deck once more. It felt good to be back, even if it was just for a visit, and Beatrice couldn't help but feel a deep happiness in being around the same surroundings as before.

She sits on one of the chairs and helps Shells by handing her over tools while watching - ‘you are not going to lie down or do anything, just stay put will you?- hands on her knees and head tilted as she paid attention to what was going on, “So, besides that, how’s your life?’

“Wha?”

“You know, your life,” she smiles, “With Bob, how are you two?”

Shells whole demeanor appeared to change, which was odd because she never seemed nervous talking about Bob, “Well,” she laughs nervously, “He uh, mentioned kids a few weeks back?”

“Oh?”

“Yep.” Shells mutters, “I told him that,well,kids aren’t in my schedule right now and honestly I thought he felt the same way about it. Then we uh…had a bit of an argument? And now I’m just, staying with Penny for a little bit.” considering how much Shells loved Bob it was surprising how she wasn’t just breaking down and crying.

Even more surprising was that she didn’t call Bea! She parted her lips, “Shells! Why didn’t you tell me??”

Shells, still focused on the ice machine, sighed. "I didn't want to bother you with my problems, Bea. You've got enough on your plate with Nikki and the twins and everything else."

Beatrice reached out and gently placed a hand on Shells' shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Shells, you're not bothering me. We're friends, remember? I want to know what's going on in your life, especially when it comes to something as important as this."

Shells finally turned to look at Beatrice, her eyes filled with a mix of gratitude and sadness. "I know, but I didn't want to add to your worries. And honestly, I didn't know what to do. I care about Bob a lot, but I'm not ready for kids, not yet."

Beatrice nodded in understanding. "It's okay to have different priorities and timelines," she said gently. "You and Bob just need to have an honest conversation about what you both want and where you see your future together."

Shells nodded, her shoulders sagging with relief. "I know you're right.I know that…we just,didn’t come to a consensus, per se.” she flexes she fingers, “Also…it’s kinda weird being the one friend without kids, yknow? I mean,I love being the crazy aunt, don’t get me wrong, but…I mean,holy fuck, it’s weird.”

“Oh,ah,” well, she didn’t know how to reply to that, “Well I–”

"Nah,Bea,” Shells waves her hand, ‘Don’t worry about it, we’ll resolve this one way or another.”

Beatrice nodded, understanding the complexities of the situation. "I get what you mean, Shells. It's a big decision, and it can feel like you're swimming against the tide when everyone around you is on a different path.”

“That’s kinda deep,huh?”

“ But you're right; you and Bob will find your way through this together. And don't worry about being the 'crazy aunt.' You're an amazing friend, and you've got plenty of time to figure out what's right for you."

Shells offered a small but genuine smile. "Thanks, Bea. Your support means a lot to me. And I know you've got your own challenges to deal with right now, so I didn't want to burden you."

Beatrice squeezed Shells' shoulder again. "You're never a burden, Shells. And besides, catching up with you and helping with this ice machine is a welcome break from my own worries."

Shells chuckled. "Fair enough. It's good to have you back, even if it's just for a little while."

"It's good to be back," Beatrice replied with a smile. "And who knows, maybe I'll be able to come around more often soon.”

“Really?”

“Well,” she sighs, her shoulders dropping, “I’m not sure…I want the twins to come home, you know?”

“...right…how are you and Rooster dealing with it?”

Beatrice purses her lips, “Well…” she smiles, ‘He’s just…amazing, you know?”

Shells looked at Beatrice with an knowing smile. "I can imagine he is.” she leans down to pick something from the ground, “You two are gross.”

Beatrice nodded, her eyes distant for a moment as she thought about Rooster. "He's been there for me through everything, especially during the pregnancy. It hasn't been easy, but he's made it a lot more manageable."

"That's love, Bea," Shells said softly. "Real love." and she sounded serious.

Beatrice's smile grew warm and affectionate. "Yeah, it is. I'm really lucky to have him in my life. And he's been amazing with Nikki and the twins. They adore their dad."

Shells chuckled. "Well, of course they do. He's a great guy. And you're a fantastic mom, Bea. You're doing an incredible job."

Beatrice's expression turned slightly wistful. "Thanks, Shells. It means a lot to hear that.”

“And,don’t forget I helped,” she points it out, “If it wasn’t for me and aunt Penny, you two would stay ages pining for each other.” she pauses, “Wanna know when I noticed he liked you?”

“...well...yes.”

She was bored, she took her time to drink some water when she was outside the Hard Deck. Beatrice was doing good, she’s been with them with a few months and she managed to get the hang of it.

“Shells.”

She sips her water, nodding at the tall pilot, “Rooster.”

“Are they inside?”

“Yep, they never miss it do they?” she teases, nodding towards the bar, ‘Go on, my aunt is going to see you in a bit.”

Rooster nods, about to go in - his hand is on the door- but he stops and he’s looking at something, better yet, someone inside. Shells noticed his pause, then slowly turned to see where his gaze landed and she slowly lowered her bottle.

Was he looking at Bea?

Oh, ohohohohoho!!!

Shells looked like the cat that just found out the cream was chilled and had pieces of fruit in it, because her gaze moved from Rooster to Bea and vice versa, only to stop at Rooster. He was a statue, a living statue, his jaw was clenched a bit and even if his eyes were hidden by the caravans, it was still obvious where he was staring.

She clears her throat once, nothing, then twice, still nothing, only when she coughs right by his side is that the pilot moves - jumps,more likely. He gives her a confused stare and she smirks ,”Well,aren’t you going inside?”

Rooster blinked rapidly, as if snapping out of a trance, and cleared his throat nervously. "Yeah, yeah, of course," he stammered, taking a step back from the door as if he had been caught in the act of something he shouldn't be doing.

Shells couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction. It was clear as day that Rooster had been caught staring at Beatrice, and she was going to make sure he knew it. "You know, Rooster, you can go inside. I won't tell Bea that you were checking her out."

Rooster's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I wasn't... I mean, I was just... um..."

Shells grinned mischievously, her eyes dancing with amusement. "Uh-huh. Go on,Chanticleer, go on.”

Rooster's embarrassment seemed to increase, but he managed a nod and a faint smile. "Yeah, I will. Thanks, Shells."

With that, Rooster finally entered the Hard Deck, leaving Shells outside with her victorious grin. She couldn't resist a little teasing now and then, and now…now she had something to work with.

“Ohhh,” she rubs her hands like a villain, “This will be great.”

“Wait.”

“Hm?’

Beatrice holds her hand, “Wait, when was that??”

“Like,what, three,four months before you two actually talked?” she shrugged, licking her lips as she sits up,smirking at Beatrice’s face,”You knew he looked at you then,Bea, why are you so surprised?”

"Three or four months? Seriously,?"

Shells shrugged nonchalantly, her smirk still firmly in place. "Well, I did tell you about some stuff but you didn’t want to hear it back then.."

Beatrice shook her head in mock exasperation. "Well,fine, you are right…I didn’t see it. I didn’t want to see he was looking or noticing me.”

Shells grinned. "Oh, he noticed you, alright. Couldn't take his eyes off you, in fact."

Beatrice chuckled, feeling a warm, happy glow inside. "Well, I'm glad he did. Otherwise, we might have missed out on something really special."

Shells nodded in agreement. "You two are a perfect match, no doubt about it. And it's about time you got some happiness in your life, Bea."

Beatrice smiled at her friend, feeling grateful for the support and love she had received from Shells and everyone else at the Hard Deck. "I couldn't have done it without all of you. You've been like family to me."

Shells leaned in and gave Beatrice a one-armed hug. "That's because you are family, Bea. And we're here for you, no matter what."

While the conversation was really sweet and thoughtful, it was Penny’s heavy footsteps that broke it, when she stood by the bar and saw the two her smile - while still present - was strained, ‘Girls,” she begins, clapping her hands together, “...can we talk in the office? Really quickly?”

“Wait,”Shells begins, “Us? Both of us?”

Penny inhales shakily, “...yeah, both of you.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 8 months

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Loki Novel 1x3 Sylki Thoughts

So Loki novel update, I've just finished reading the chapters covering 1x3 and honestly I loved every page, every word of it. For me it was really beautiful watching Sylki's relationship evolve over 1x3 and it was even more beautiful reading it because you had that extra level of their inner thoughts and let me tell you there are some real Sylki gems in these chapters. Fair warning this one is going to be a bit longer than my last post because there is a lot more to cover. Obviously spoilers for season 1 and the novelisation, so lets jump in.

So this first part is less Sylki related and more just Sylvie related but I thought it was a small but interesting insight into just how being hunted by the TVA has effected her. This is a description she gives right after she steps through the timedoor into the TVA.

Circular lights glowed against the dull concrete of the ceiling. They looked like eyes to Sylvie. So many eyes. Watching.

She had finally done it.

She had finally broken into the TVA.

... The voice on the PA system said, All minutemen to the armory. Protect the timeline. The words almost made Sylvie want to scream, but she didn't. Instead, she tied her hair back, as she always did when she was preparing for a fight. (pgs 185-186)

A couple of things caught my attention here, the first was how she describes the lights as looking like eyes and the feeling of being watched. It's a seemingly irrelevant observation but it shows us how after being hunted and chased by the TVA for eons Sylvie is constantly on edge and always feels like she is being watched. Something as normal as lights become something that gives a feeling of being unsafe and threatening.

Then you have the line about how hearing the PA system saying 'protect the timeline' makes Sylvie want to scream. Again its just three little words but they bring out such a visceral reaction in Sylvie because of what they meant to her. Protecting the timeline is what lead to her being taken from her home and family, that lead to her entire timeline being destroyed and to her being hunted her whole life. So its no wonder that those words made her want to scream and got her revved up for the fight that was to come. But this passage did make me feel real bad for Sylvie and it was just a description of her surroundings.

The next part I want to talk about is right after Loki interrupts and confronts Sylvie outside the gold elevator.

He pointed his knives toward her. " A few questions," he said calmly.

Sylvie sighed. "Have you really got nothing else better to do?" She walked slowly toward him, and they circled one another like predators fighting over the same carcass. (pgs 188-189)

This imagery of them fighting over the same carcass is intriguing. I think the carcass is a metaphor for the TVA, that is what they are both fighting over. It's interesting to me because they are both fighting each other, and Sylvie sees Loki as an obstacle to getting what she wants. But really they both want the same thing, are both fighting for the same thing, to get to whoever is behind the TVA (at this point they believe its the timekeepers) and make them pay for stealing their lives from them. They just haven't figured out yet that they are both fighting for the same goal.

I also think it is interesting that in this simile Loki and Sylvie are described as the predators considering they both see the TVA as this all powerful, omnipotent organisation, you would think the TVA would be the predators. But ultimately this simile does come to pass as the TVA is torn apart by Sylvie and Loki, they are the ones that bring HWR and the TVA down making them the true predators and the TVA is indeed the carcass.

Ok next. Sylki have just fallen through the timedoor onto Lamentis-1 and are both scrambling for the tempad and we get this little moment.

He couldn't let her get it. It was the only thing connecting the two of them, his only asset. It was a thing she wanted. And Loki knew that the way to keep someone close was always to hold on to whatever it was they wanted. (pg 191)

Yeah Loki really is down bad for Sylvie he just hasn't realised it yet. Jokes aide though, I do think that this shows that Loki not only still feels a connection to Sylvie but also wants to maintain that connection, he clearly still sees her as his way forward, his destiny.

However this also sheds alot of light on his past manipulations and actions in previous films, and its really rather sad. He's learnt that the way to keep people close to him is to hold onto what they want. Thor wanted to protect earth as it was Jane's home so Loki takes New York hostage not because he wants to rule but so that he can keep his brother close. I think its the same with the tesseract, he knows its something Thor and Odin want so they can keep it safe in Asgard's vaults, so to keep them close he takes it. Obviously I don't think that is his only motivation for doing those things but this line does make me think it was a contributing factor, if so then I think its really sad that Loki feels like he has to manipulate those he cares about into staying close to him, that he doesn't believe that they will choose to be around him because they love him.

Speaking of Loki and Sylvie fighting over the tempad, Loki apparently was enjoying himself to start with:

It was quite fun, he decided. Fighting another Loki. (pg 193)

However he also seems to grow tired of it really quickly and seems to get frustrated that she doesn't want to team up.

"Fine," said Loki, quite tired of being made fun of by a Loki who didn't even want to be called Loki. (pg193)

"Fine!" she said, snapping around and drawing her sword.

Instantly, Loki drew his knives. But exhaustion took over him. This felt like deja vu. He sighed deeply. "Look," he said, "are we really about to do this here? Again?" (pg 198)

"I don't know. A truce?"

The fugitive variant scoffed as if this was the most insane idea she'd ever heard of. (pg 198)

At some point he had put his knives away, uninterested in fighting. (pg 199)

I think him getting tired of fighting her so quickly and being the first one to over a truce goes back to what I said in my last post about Loki seeming to have some level of respect for Sylvie because she is a Loki variant and he feels some kind of connection to her because of that. Speaking of the offer of a truce its, again, interesting that Loki offers one but Sylvie finds the idea insane and how I think that also links back to the difference in the way Loki and Sylvie feel about the Loki identity. To Sylvie the idea of accepting a truce with a Loki is insane, but for Loki its the very fact that they are both Loki variants that he feels he can offer a truce.

The question of what makes a Loki a Loki comes up alot in the first few chapters that cover 1x3. There's also alot of exploration of how Sylvie and Loki are similar and how they are different and how that plays into their individual identities as well as how it relates to the Loki identity.

One of the most obvious differences between Sylvie and Loki is that Loki is proud to be a Loki whereas Sylvie has rejected the Loki identity, which makes sense for her as being a Loki is what led to her being captured and subsequently hunted by the TVA. So of course she would take a new name and make a new identity for herself, however this rejection of the Loki identity by Sylvie is something that clearly confuses Loki.

"Don't ever call me that," she said, circling him like a lioness.

"Tech-savvy?" said Loki, a little confused.

"No," she snarled. "A Loki." (pg 193)

"I'm sorry," said Loki, "but I'm not calling some faded photocopy of me 'Loki'."

"Good," she said, totally unfazed by the insult, "'cause that's not who I am anymore. I'm Sylvie now." (pgs 201-202)

"It's not very Loki-like."

"Yeah? said Sylvie. "What exactly makes a Loki a Loki?"

"Independence. Authority. Style." said Loki, pleased he could sum up his own nature so succinctly. But Sylvie wasn't having it. (pg 202)

"I'd never have done that." Loki stopped walking.

Sylvie didn't pause. "Yeah?" she said. "Well, I'm not you." (pgs 202-203)

It's kind of funny that Loki tries to insult and get at Sylvie by calling her a faded photocopy of a Loki but Sylvie really couldn't care less. It does seem like Loki really struggles with this idea that Sylvie has chosen a new identity and name and I couldn't help wondering why it bothered him so much, why he's so put out that she is not the same as him and I do have a theory on that. I think its because he's been told over and over, and particularly by the TVA, who he is, what his nature is and how that's written in stone and who he is meant to be, how he can't change. But then he meets a variant of himself that has built themselves a whole new identity and is choosing who they want to be as opposed to being told who they are. It's like meeting Sylvie has shined a torch on all the lies he's been told about himself that he has come to believe.

Another way the novel highlights the difference between the life Loki had versus the life Sylvie had is by mentioning several times that Loki feels exhausted whilst Sylvie is full of energy.

Then she kept on running. Where does she get this endless energy? thought Loki. (pg 196)

He tried to catch his breath. He hadn't run like that in a long time. His chest burned. (pg 197)

Loki was exhausted, but Sylvie didn't seem to have lost any of her energy. (pg 203)

This shows how Loki lived a life of luxury and relative safety as a Prince of Asgard. He is used to comfort. Whereas Sylvie has had to learn to always be aware and on the move and thus has a constant high energy, she's never had the luxury of taking life slow or taking a moment to gather herself because for her stopping for a breather could mean death.

As different as their upbringings were though, they are still similar in many ways and being variants of each other means despite being strangers they also already know the other really well. Because of this they are also able to figure out each other's motive's really quickly and we get this interesting to and fro where they are both kind of one upping the other and catching the other out. Like when Loki immediately figures out that Sylvie is trying to enchant him:

Then he felt the fugitive variant's hands around his neck. He flinched, then realised she wasn't trying to choke him. Her touch was light, and a faint thrumming came from her fingertips. When he met her eyes, he saw that she was in a state of deep concentration.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"What are you doing?" she echoed.

"You're trying to enchant me?" said Loki. He was still panting. "It won't work." (pgs 197-198)

I really loved this moment when I watched it in the show, there was that underlying energy and tension to it and I loved how their silhouettes made the shape of a heart. Reading the scene in the novelisation reminded me of just how much I loved it in the show. Side note but I do find it kind of funny that at first Loki thought Sylvie was trying to choke him, makes sense so far all she's done is try to fight him. But I love the way he describes her touch and the way her magic feels, it sounds like it feels pleasant to him.

Another instance of them being able to suss each other out pretty quick is when Sylvie figures out Loki's motive for saving her when they were running from the falling asteroids.

"Well you're full of it because you need me to get that thing recharged. That's the only reason you saved me out there."

Takes a Loki to know a Loki. (pg 199)

Them knowing each other so well also means they know how to get under the others skin. There are a few instances where they take digs at each other and are put out by the others comments.

"But now I see," he said panting, "you lack vision."

The words got under Sylvie's skin. She did not lack vision. She had never lacked vision. Vision was what had gotten her this far. (pg 189)

"So naturally," she said, "you went to work for the boring, oppressive time police."

"I don't work for them," said Loki, a little wounded. (pg 202)

"Okay," she said, holding out one hand and wriggling her fingers. "Hand it over."

Loki laughed. "Pitiful," he said. "I'm not giving it to you. You're going to have to try harder than that."

He seemed to have gotten under her skin. She marched past him, her mouth tight. (pg 204)

I think them being so different in some ways and coming from very different backgrounds whilst also knowing themselves and therefore each other so well and knowing how to push each others buttons, creates this really interesting dynamic and fun banter between them. Eventually even they begin to notice the similarities between them.

Sylvie watched. It didn't seem like Loki could resist a good fight. Maybe they weren't so different after all. (pg 226)

Ok now we are at the really good part, the train scenes. Trust me when I tell you as amazing as these scenes are in the show they only get better here in the novel, there are parts that made me feel all warm and fuzzy and there were some parts that stabbed me right in the heart. This is also where I think we see a big shift in the dynamic of Sylki's relationship and this shift comes when the subject of their mothers come up.

They sat forward, their elbows on the table, staring each other down, their eyes in a duel that neither could break.

"My mother," said Loki, not able to stop the tenderness from leaking into his voice.

This seemed to disarm Sylvie. She glanced away. She swallowed. Then, slowly, she turned her head back to Loki and looked at him- really looked at him. "What was she like?" she asked. Softly. Sincerely. (pg 214)

I love that line about their eyes in a duel neither could break, it really captures that intense chemistry and eye contact they have in that scene. But I also do think its interesting that its the mention of Loki's mother that makes Sylvie drop her guard a little and actually look at Loki, to see him as more than just an obstacle in her way. I think hearing that tenderness in his voice, which by the way is so adorable and sweet I always loved the relationship he had with his mother, makes Sylvie see him as a person, he's not just an annoying Loki but a son who clearly loves his mother. In response to this she herself then becomes softer and more sincere when talking to him. Then the subject of Sylvie's mother comes up.

"Hang on a second. So, tell...tell me about your mother."

"I barely remember her," said Sylvie wistfully. "Just blips of a dream at this point."

Loki looked into her eyes. There was real sadness there. Real grief. He remembered his own mother. Just like this train was hurtling toward the ark, he was hurtling toward losing her. (pg 215)

Just like Loki talking about his mother made Sylvie really look at Loki and really see him for the first time, hearing Sylvie talk about her mother makes Loki stop and really study Sylvie, he sees her sadness and her grief and that makes him think about his own sadness and grief, that line about how he was hurtling towards losing his mother really is a gut punch, I mean pull my heart right out because it would've hurt less. However it is interesting because here we are seeing Loki relate to Sylvie, empathising with her and it also makes him reflect on his own life.

"You know," he said, "when I was young, she'd do these little bits of magic for me. Like turn a flower into a frog. Or cast fireworks over the water."

This time Sylvie did not look away.

"It all seemed impossible," he continued. "But she told me that one day I'd be able to do it, too, because..." He paused, his voice trailing off. "Because I could do anything," he finished. Yes, he had been lucky. He knew that now. (pgs 215-216)

Seeing Sylvie's sadness and her admit she no longer really remembers her mother makes Loki realises how lucky he really was, he had a mother that doted on him, that believed in him and who took the time to teach him magic. This next bit I really do love and that is Loki's reaction to seeing Sylvie sad.

Sylvie nodded, but she looked sad. She stared off into the distance.

"You wanna see?" said Loki, hoping to cheer her up. He held up a hand. Out of his palm, fireworks crackled and exploded in miniature, making a delicate bouquet of light and color. (pg 216)

When I saw the scene in the show I thought that Loki made the fireworks because he was thinking of his mother and also because he wanted to show off a little because he was trying to impress Sylvie. I loved the scene because it was just so sweet and tender and was a side of Loki we hadn't really seen before. Seeing, here in the novel, that he did the fireworks because he could see that Sylvie was sad and wanted to cheer her up adds a whole new level of 'aww cute' to the scene. I'm really looking forward to going back and watching that scene again with this added context. I think that is what makes reading the novel so fun is it is giving me all this new context to scenes which makes rewatching the show feel like a new experience again.

But Loki using the fireworks to attempt to cheer Sylvie up is also interesting because, firstly, it shows that he is capable of feeling compassion and empathy for another person despite being portrayed as being a very selfish and uncompassionate person in the past. Secondly it shows that even in this short amount of time that Loki has known Sylvie he has come to care about her enough that he doesn't want to see her sad. Already he just wants her to be ok.

A couple of other small details to note, is that throughout this bonding scene there is quite a bit of focus on them keeping eye contact and them looking at each other. The other thing of note is the way the fireworks are described as a bouquet, this makes me think of first dates and how you might give someone a bouquet of flowers, maybe its just me but this train scene always gave me first date vibes.

So now lets talk about love. Yes we are at the Love is hate, Love is Mischief conversation Sylki have and again this a scene that only gets better when you read the novel and get that insight into what the characters are actually thinking and feeling.

"What was that?" He pretended to write. "Love is...Love is... hate."

"Oh, shut up," said Sylvie.

Loki smiled with amusement and disappeared the paper and quill in a spray of green light.

Sylvie looked like she was trying not to find his joke funny, but she still smiled, ever so faintly. (pg 218)

It's nice to see Sylvie starting to let her guard down a little. As I said earlier, it really is during the train scene that we see Sylki's dynamic begin to shift. Whereas before they were very hostile towards each other and would look for ways to get under the others skin, here we see them actually enjoying each others company. What is even more interesting is that right before this we get this inner thought from Loki.

Sylvie stared at him. She looked unimpressed. Did she have to be so serious all the time? He thought a change of subject might help. (pg 218)

Just like how when he saw her sad he tried to cheer her up, now Loki is actively trying to get her to loosen up, to relax and have some fun and again I just find that interesting that even at this point he cares enough about her to want her to be happy and to feel safe and relaxed. Its also interesting that the subject that ends up being brought up is Love. Especially as this conversation seems to lead Loki to a bit of a realisation about his feelings.

"Managed to maintain quite a serious long distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another."

Loki laughed. She was- genuinely- very funny. He almost...liked her. (pgs 218-219)

Loki has this realisation that he might actually like Sylvie, with the emphasis on the word like it makes me think its less like as a friend and more like in a romantic way and what's fascinating is that not long after this revelation he begins to become uncomfortable with the subject of love.

Sylvie didn't take her eyes off him. She raised her eyebrows like a question. "Love is mischief, then," she said.

Loki swallowed, the bubbles burning down his throat. "No," he said. "Love is..." The train rumbled along its tracks. The diamonds of purple sky had darkened slightly. "Uh... something I don't want to think about."

If in doubt, he thought, avoid the subject. That tactic had always served him well. (pg 219)

Now quick disclaimer, alcohol does not exist in this novel, if they were drinking alcohol in a scene in the show then it is substituted for something else in the novel. Because of this the line Loki says in the show 'something I might have to have another drink to think about' has been changed. Obviously they would had to have substituted it with a line that had the same meaning and sentiment behind it. They could have gone for something like 'something I need more time to think about' but they went with 'something I don't want to think about.' So Loki has had this realisation that he might like Sylvie, which is followed by a very personal and intimate conversation about love and then a flirtatious line from Sylvie and in his panic and confusion over these new feelings he is experiencing he slams on the brakes hard. It's straight to avoidance. I also think the imagery of the train rumbling and the sky darkening really shifts the tone of the scene, almost like Loki is turning away from the possibility of love and back to the lonely darkness of self isolation, but I could also be looking far too deeply into that.

It's after this that, in the show, Loki gets drunk and sings the Asgardian song to Sylvie, though in the novel he's not drunk just having fun, which not going to lie does come across as a little silly but I can look pass that. Sylvie has an interesting reaction to the song which she describes as 'mournful' and as something that sounded like a lullaby or funeral song.

"He had a beautiful voice, and the melody stirred something in Sylvie's chest, but she pushed all of that to the side. (pg 222)

This actually tells us alot about Sylvie and is another instance that shows the difference between Sylvie and Loki and their lives. Sylvie has this emotional reaction to the song Loki is singing and yet she pushes those feelings to the side, we see her do this alot, whereas Loki is often driven by his emotions such as attacking New York because of how hurt he was by his Father's lies etc, Sylvie very much is the opposite and will push those emotions aside so that she can focus on her mission. This is how she survives.

The atmosphere turned lively and jolly again. Loki smiled widely.

It must be fun to be so oblivious, thought Sylvie, glancing around the room nervously. (pg 222)

I get the sense that here, Sylvie is feeling some envy towards Loki, towards the fact that he can let loose and have fun, even when in the situation they've found themselves in, because he hasn't gone through the same experience and trauma that she has. I think she is envious of the life he had, the life that she could have had but missed out on because the TVA stole it from her.

Next I'm going to talk about the Love is a Dagger scene, and yes I've said it before, I'm saying it again, the novel only makes this scene better.

"Hey!" said Loki. "Change of subject. I thought of an answer." Suddenly he was standing closer to her, staring deeply into her eyes.

She bristled. "To what?"

"Your question." Loki stared into her eyes and the silence stretched on between them. "Love," he said, "is a dagger." Just like that, a dagger appeared in his hand, magicked and beautiful, the blade straight and shining. "It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful." He turned the dagger's point toward his chest. "Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it-"

Sylvie did reach for it. The handle was beautiful. It was right there. But it disappeared before she could take it in her hand.

"-it isn't real," she said, finishing his sentence. (pgs 224-225)

Let's talk about Loki here first because I think this metaphor he uses to describe love is very telling given the new context learned of him having the realisation that he may have feelings for Sylvie and then becoming uncomfortable with the subject of love. He clearly kept thinking about it after their conversation. But really what this metaphor says about Loki's view on love is really sad. Ultimately he sees love as a weapon that can be used against him, something that can make him bleed, something that will turn out not to be real. Something beautiful sure, but something dangerous none the less. It's sad because I think he has always felt unloved by everyone but his mother. Everyone has always seen the worst in him and he has felt like love is something you have to earn especially when it came to his father's love. I really do think that learning he was adopted, that his father lied to him, that he was a tool to be used, a monster in the tales Asgardian children were told. This all really messed with his head, he wanted his father's, his brother's love and instead he got wounded. If we go back a little, for a moment, to when Sylki were talking about their parents and how they were adopted, we have this:

"What? They told you?" He couldn't believe it.

"Yeah," said Sylvie. "Did they not tell you?"

"No," said Loki, trying not to get emotional. (pg 215)

Loki is so traumatised from learning that he was adopted the way he did that even just talking about the subject makes him emotional and he struggles with the knowledge that Sylvie's parents did tell her the truth. So it makes sense that he has a warped idea of what love is. It also makes sense that because he sees love as a weapon that can be used against him, that when he realised he might be catching feelings for Sylvie he rejected it and instead reminded himself how love can wound you.

When I first watched the episode I'll admit that I got a bit annoyed at Loki for getting drunk and breaking the tempad, as I didn't really understand why he would do that and the 'I'm hedonistic' excuse didn't really fly with me. But now I can't help but wonder if the real reason why he got drunk on the train was because he was so shaken by this realisation that he had feelings for Sylvie that his tactic for avoiding those feelings was to drown himself in drink and distract himself. It was a way of coping for him.

But lets go to Sylvie because her thoughts during Loki's love dagger speech were so interesting to me. It really does seem like she becomes mesmerised by the dagger, she is thinking about how beautiful it is and she wants to reach out and grab it. It really is like she's under a spell, bewitched by this dagger. The reason why that's interesting is because the dagger in this metaphor represents love. Love really isn't something Sylvie has experienced before, I'm sure her parents loved her, but she was taken from them so long ago that she barely remembers them so likely doesn't remember their love either. Because she has never experienced love she's never been wounded by it like Loki. So where Loki sees a dangerous weapon, Sylvie sees this shining new thing and its something that in the haze of the moment she is desperate to reach for.

Unfortunately this dagger metaphor tragically comes true for the both of them come the season end at the citadel, but I'd rather not think about that so lets move on.

Since the show aired I've seen too many posts in the main tag talking about how Mobius changed Loki but arguing that Sylvie didn't change him, that she didn't have any effect on his character growth at all. I always called bull on that personal but these next few parts I'm going to talk about, I think show just how Sylvie did influence Loki's growth. The first comes right after they have been thrown off the train and the tempad is broke, Sylvie is very understandably upset.

Did Loki feel a tiny twinge of remorse? Maybe a tiny one. But he wasn't going to stop arguing. (pg 229)

It's a very small moment, but its an important one. Remorse isn't really something Loki often feels so the fact that he is feeling it now when seeing Sylvie upset is significant. And there is more. After Sylvie screams and walks off to sit by herself Loki has this thought.

"Okay," he said, under his breath, walking to her. It wasn't in his nature to feel compassion, to see the perspective of another person- especially another Loki. It wasn't in his nature to feel remorse, either. But hey, it was the end of the world. Maybe the end of the world did something to you. (pg 230)

Earlier I talked about how Loki trying to cheer Sylvie up showed that he was learning compassion and learning to empathise with another person. Here we get the next step because now he is recognising that he is feeling compassion and that he is feeling remorse, he is also now able to see things from another person's perspective, he's able to understand why Sylvie is upset with him and actually feel remorse. Of course he blames it on the end of the world but really its Sylvie that has brought these new emotions out of him.

Here's another small but important moment.

He sat down tentatively beside her, on the mound of gravelly stone. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but he could endure it. (pg 230)

Loki is someone who enjoys comfort and who is very unlikely to put himself in any kind of uncomfortable position for the sake of someone else. Yet here we see him not only putting himself in discomfort but saying he'll endure it and once again it is for Sylvie, this is again a case of Sylvie being upset and for a reason that Loki himself can't yet fathom, he wants to make her feel better, even if that means sitting on an uncomfortable rock and trying to comfort her.

And the character growth just keep on coming with this next part.

"I just... need to know if I can trust you."

Again, Loki realised he was telling the truth. Not saying something to get his way. But saying something because he truly meant it.

It was a new feeling. (pg 233)

During his time with Sylvie not only has he experienced what it is to feels compassion, empathy and remorse he is also now learning truth. He says something because he actually means it and not just to manipulate someone to get his own way. What is also interesting is the potentially first meaningful thing he's ever said is on the subject of trust. Something else that I think is a bit of a foreign subject to Loki. He is rarely trusted and I don't know how much he trusts others, I think he's more of a rely on himself kind of guy. But here he is wanting to trust and to be trusted. Again he is feeling something new and again its Sylvie that has brought it out of him.

The subject of trust comes up again when they are entering the city, trying to get to the ark.

"Do we trust each other?" asked Sylvie.

"We do, and you can," said Loki. Trust wasn't normally something Loki thought about very much. But for better or worse, he and Sylvie were a team now. They needed to trust each other to survive. (pg 237)

Again this is showing the beginnings of change, not only is he thinking about trust, what trust is and what it really means to trust someone, but he is also actually choosing to trust. Right now its because he knows that they need to trust each other to survive but it is still a huge step for them both. He is also seeing them as a team now.

Something really interesting happens after this, when they are fighting their way through the city trying to reach the ark, and that is that Loki seems to become really tuned in to where Sylvie is often mentioning the feeling of her presence and they also often seem in sync with each other, one stops so does the other etc, not only that but he takes comfort in having her there, in having her on his team.

Loki stopped. He looked around, surveying which way would be best, and Sylvie did the same. Somehow they had really become a team. Even in this chaos, this comforted Loki. (pg 238)

Loki stared at it, feeling Sylvie's presence beside him. He wondered if she was thinking the same thing he was thinking. (pg 238)

People started screaming, running, and Loki ran too, feeling Sylvie's presence as she ran beside him. (pg 239)

To his right, Sylvie was fighting off yet another guard. "Just go," she said to Loki. (pg 240)

Loki ran the same way as the man, and Sylvie followed him. (pg 240)

Loki stopped. Sylvie stopped beside him. (pg 242)

Considering how much chaos is around them it would have been really easy for them to be separated and to lose each other. But there really is alot of focus in this passage on showing them side by side, or mirroring each other, of them being aware of where the other is and staying in sync with each other, they really are shown as a team and as working together.

Ok we are nearly at the end, I promise, just a couple more things I want to talk about. So this also caught my attention and that is that it seems like the more Loki gets to know Sylvie the more in awe and impressed he is of her. Like when she tells him how her enchantment works.

Loki shook his head. He was at least a little bit in awe of her. "And you call me a magician," he said. (pg 234)

He couldn't help but be impressed with the way she fought. She was all elegance and grace, all skill and fire. If they hadn't been in the middle of an apocalypse, he might've stopped to watch. (pg 241)

I mean he seems pretty whipped if you asked me, but I do find it amusing and sweet that he's so in awe of her that even in the middle of an apocalypse he is tempted to just stop and watch her fight.

The last thing I want to talk about is Loki's reaction to the ark being destroyed.

He didn't want to look at Sylvie. He couldn't stand to see the look in her eyes. All their hope- gone.

They were going to die here.

On Lamentis-1. A doomed moon. In a strange, otherworldly city surrounded by dust and fire.

Well, Loki found himself thinking, at least we're not alone. (pg 242)

I really do think this is the culmination of all the growth we see over the episode/chapters. Not just Loki's own personal growth but the growth of the Sylki relationship. At the start Loki was someone who thought about himself, Sylvie was a tool to help get him what he wanted. Sylvie saw Loki as an obstacle to be removed. Here though when the ark is destroyed Loki's first thought is of Sylvie. Not only that but he has come to care for her so much that he can't bear to look at her and see the look of despair in her eyes, just like he didn't want to see her sad, but here I think the emotion is deeper and more intense. Loki is also now talking about 'their hope' not his hope showing that he really does now see them as one unit, as a team. But I think the most significant part is the line about how at least they aren't alone. They believe they are going to die here but Loki is still taking comfort in having Sylvie with him.

I really did enjoy reading these chapters, there were so many moments that I loved and it felt good to be excited about Sylki again, it really did remind me of why I love them. I know this was a long one so if you have made it to the end thank you for reading. As soon as I finish reading the chapters for episode 4 I will post some more thoughts but for now let me leave you with this.

Her eyes were daggers, and she growled a little, like an upset puppy. (pg 213)

No notes I just thought it was really funny that Loki compares Sylvie to an upset puppy when she's angry.

#sylki #loki #loki x sylvie #sylvie #loki novel

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amtrak12 · 9 months

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AO3 Wrapped for 2023!

I got tagged by @purlturtle for this, so thank you! :D Let's see how I did on fics in 2023.

Overall Stats:

Works Published: 2 - because a Pushing Daisies snippet snuck in there lol

Word Count: 92,498

Kudos: 475

Bookmarks: 161 (99 public and it's killing me ahaha I just want a nice round number again D:)

Subscriptions: 285

(All of those stats are heavily, heavily skewed towards one fic over the other as you'll see below :P)

Individual Stats:

Most Popular by Kudos: Can We Keep Her, my Lucifer S3 time travelling toddler rewrite at 471 kudos. (Out of my 475 total for the year LMAO. I told you the stats are skewed!)

Most hits: Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) again with 14,688 hits. Listen I really only wrote one fic this year. The Pushing Daisies one barely counts.

Longest: Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) at 92,307 words published as of today and still growing. Fun fact: This is also my longest fic ever published! So it would've won this category in any year.

Shortest: Three Lifetimes (Pushing Daisies) at 191 words. I did have other one shot ideas after my rewatch but I had to save my energy for the Lucifer WIP.

Most Comments: SHOCKINGLY (not), it's Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) with 186 comment threads/415 total comments. My greatest wish when this fic is all said and done is to hit 1000 total comments because I'll never be able to hit that in any other fandom I could ever be in for the rest of my life. And if it does turn out to be 30 chapters long (or more!), then I'm actually on pace to achieve it :')

(And this is where I go more into fic recs than talking about my own fics, because I did not write (or read tbh) enough to have proper answers for this section.)

Fics that made me cry:

Writing: The [redacted] scene for Can We Keep Her that I've played a million times in my head but haven't actually written yet cause I'm only halfway through the story. Maybe also the time travel reveal scene which gets posted in January, but that's lived in my head for so long, I can no longer tell what feelings it evokes.

Reading: never have I ever by jrrmint (Lucifer). S4 Chloe/Lucifer smut. It doesn't make me cry, but it does make me ache because it's Season 4, aka the angstiest season, and this fic makes it even messier than canon was which is just beautiful in the 'I have a history of loving soap operas' way. :D :D It also taught me cheating is a trope I will eat up with a goddamn spoon for this ship. Like HOLY SHIT! Eve, I love you, babe, but I need more Chloe/Lucifer S4 cheating fic pronto! O_O

(NOT S3 cheating fic. It does not work as well, because the Chloe/Pierce relationship was already a stupid decision -- by both the writers and the character -- so let's not add even more stupid decisions on top of it. However, everybody's already hitting rock bottom in S4 (and at different times too!) so that's why the cheating trope works so deliciously there.)

Fics that made me smile:

Writing: The opening scene to chapter 7 in Can We Keep Her still makes me laugh so much. Rory's manipulative little "My heart hurts :(" ploy absolutely kills me, plus all the other 'Day 2 of a baby angel' chaos that's happening. Also all of chapter 9 with the Deckerstar family domestics of putting Trixie and Rory to bed. A++ me. Makes me grin everytime.

Reading: If He's a Tramp (He's a Good One) by maybemalapert (laconicsims) -- Lucifer joins Chloe and Trixie on a trip to Disneyland, set (and written) in early S2. I'm absolutely loving reading the Lucifer fics in chronological order/reverse page order on AO3 since I came to the show after the entire thing aired. And this little one shot was wonderful <3

Group Activities:

Gifts: No gifts given or received this year.

Collaborations: I did do something here, though! I was a beta reader in the Bering and Wells Big Bang event. :) I helped with Dawn of the Dragonborn: Heart of a Hero, Heart of a Predator, Heart of Dovahkiin which was written by Rinari7. Not finished yet, but hopefully someday! Because the outline was really detailed and incredible. So, so, so fun AU even if you know very little about Skyrim (like me)!

Events: Also the Bering and Wells Big Bang. I still absolutely could never be a writer for such an event because I get too stressed and freeze whenever I try. But I really enjoyed being a beta reader! Less pressure lol

#about me #AO3 Wrapped 2023 #I added the subheaders to help split the text up better cause I got rambly :S lol #if you see this on your dash and want to do it pretend I tagged you #(and feel free to tag me in that claim when you make your post so I can read your own AO3 stats! I'd love to see them!)

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bratshaws · 1 year

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through the hourglass 217. brb x oc

a/n: EEEEEEEE okay. okay,thoughts???? what are you guys feeling from these chapters? (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu (BUT SMUT IS COMING SOON )

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/164/165/166/167/168/169/170/171/172/173/174/175/176/177/178/179/180/181/182/183/184/185/186/187/188/189/190/191/192/193/194/195/196/197/198/199/200/201/202/203/204/205/206/207/208/209

/210/211/212/213/214/215/216

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

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She was busy lotioning her body in the bathroom, humming happily to herself as she propped her leg on the toilet lid, she had a good day. She did have a good day and she didn’t have to endure Miranda’s weird questions.

She had never seen that woman before and now she wants to be friends? No, that’s not how it worked. She didn’t even know that woman at all. But Beatrice wasn’t going to let that ruin her day.

However she blinked when she felt eyes on her back. She slowly straightened herself, then turned her head to where she could see Rooster, arms crossed and shoulder against the door frame, a boyish smirk on his face, “Hi,” she smiles, placing one of her hands on her propped leg to keep herself upright, “Didn’t hear you there.”

“Hmmmm…I was admirin’.”

Oh,his accent is coming out strong, “Were you?”

“Hmhm,” and his eyes follow the length of her body, tilting his head just a bit when he sees part of her butt cheek barely hidden by her pajama shorts, “You getting all soft and nice?” she nods, giggling at him and getting ready to continue only for her husband to earn the absolute speed of light and pluck the bottle from her hand, “Let me help.”

“Wha-” she blinked in shock, “How did you get here??”

Rooster grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he held the bottle of lotion in one hand only to toss to it’s twin. He took a step closer, closing the distance between them, and Beatrice could feel her cheeks flush as his gaze remained locked on hers.

"How did I get here?" he repeated, his voice a low, teasing drawl. "Well, baby, I've got some skills they don't teach in flight school."

Beatrice couldn't help but laugh "You know magic now?" she teased. He nods for her to sit down on the toilet as he rubs the lotion on his hands. Honestly, she didn’t know why she was so…shy about that. She did give him massages a few times, hell he rubbed lotion on her skin during their honeymoon.

But something about this felt so…much more intimate?

He chuckled, crouching down to her knees level as he rubs his hands together. He places her leg on his thigh - kissing her knee and earning a soft laugh from her - before his fingers expertly apply the lotion to her skin, his touch gentle and affectionate. "I mean,it’d be one of my many talents.”

God his hands were so big, she’d never grow tired of that. As she leans back on the wall and watches with a small smile, her eyes follow how his huge palms rub up and down her calf, grunting a bit when he pushed into a knot, “Ow.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just hurting a bit.”

Rooster pays attention to her words before he continues, gently massaging her sore muscles in circles and making sure she’d feel relaxed enough, “You do a lot,gorgeous.” he says, “Even when you don’t have to.”

Rooster's fingers worked their magic, his strong hands kneading away the tension in Beatrice's calf. He could feel the knots beneath his fingertips, and he applied just the right amount of pressure to ease her discomfort without causing pain.

She sighed contentedly, her bashfulness giving way to a sense of comfort and security. "You're amazing at this," she admitted, her voice soft and filled with admiration.

He flashed her a warm smile, his eyes never leaving her face as he continued to massage her leg. "Just trying to take care of my beautiful wife," he replied, his tone tender and protective.

Beatrice felt her heart flutter at his words, the love and devotion in his eyes melting away any lingering tension. "Well, you won’t see me complaining.”

His eyebrows furrowed for a bit, “Baby,” he begins, “...you aren’t overworking yourself,right? You are enjoying your time,right?”

“Yeah…?”

“I’m just asking,” he continues, “Because you just feel tense.”

Oh.

Beatrice sighs through her nose, rubbing the back of her neck as he keeps on massaging her leg, “Well…I guess I’m just a bit worried, is all.” she shrugs, ‘I mean the twins are fine, they are fine and healthy but…I dunno,guess I’m just worrying.”

Rooster hums, kissing her bare thigh then moving to the opposite one once he was done, “I know,” he whispers, “So am I. I sometimes jump if I get a text from the hospital only to see they were updating me on the twins’ progress.” he laughs softly, arching his brows. “...have you been able to sleep?” the way he voiced his question made her wonder if he was having trouble sleeping.

She bit her lip, contemplating her answer. "I've been trying," she admitted, her voice soft. "But, you know, it's hard with…everything going on. I think you might have better luck sleeping during your deployments."

“Hm,” he shrugs,making a face, “Kind of.”

“Are you having trouble sleeping,Roos?”

Rooster's expression turned a bit serious as he settled onto the edge of the bed, still close to her. He looked at Beatrice with a mixture of understanding and concern. "Yeah, I've been having my moments," he admitted, his fingers gently tracing patterns on her skin. "You know how it is."

Knowing that both of them wanted the twins to be back home was obvious, but voicing it still hurts. “At least…there’s nothing planned in the near future.” she knew he meant deployments, ‘But,if I do go-”

She understood. “We’ll be okay.” was her quiet reply, her body relaxing and some of the tension leaving her bones with a gentle sigh, ‘...I will be careful.” his worry started because he knew how she could be, he knew she sometimes took too much, so much she couldn’t handle just to make sure everything was okay.

Rooster's lips curved into a small smile, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin. "Yeah, I know," he said softly. "You are strong like that." he kisses her lips sweetly, twice, making her laugh against his mouth before he stands up to his feet, offering her his hand, “Ma’am.”

Beatrice accepted his hand with a playful smile, allowing him to help her to her feet. She leaned in and kissed him softly, "Thank you," she murmured against his lips, only to squeak out in surprise when he just picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the bathroom. “Oh God.”

“What?’ he asks innocently, “I didn’t hold you like this for a while now,I missed it.”

She laughs softly, then her eyes drop to her stomach and she…feels the worries coming back in her brain. Now, she has gotten much,much better than when she started dating Rooster but there were still doubts in her mind from time to time. The twins’ pregnancy gave her a few stretch marks, she did moisturize her skin and prevented them from getting too big but…they were red,bright red and she didn’t like it.

As Rooster carried her out of the bathroom, Beatrice couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, she loved how he held her, making her feel cherished and protected. On the other, her thoughts turned inward, focusing on the marks that had appeared on her body during pregnancy.

The second pregnancy. That happen in months.

You should’ve paid more attention. the cruel voice whispers in her brain You should’ve

Her fingers subconsciously traced one of the red stretch marks on her stomach, her touch light and hesitant. The self-consciousness that had been building up inside her threatened to bubble to the surface. She then moved her hand away before Rooster could notice.

Rooster, ever attuned to her, noticed her change in demeanor. He set her down gently on the bed, concern in his eyes as he cupped her cheek. "Hey, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" he asked softly.

Beatrice sighed, her gaze dropping to the floor. "It's just…” just be out with it, don’t hold it in “ …these stretch marks," she admitted, her voice tinged with insecurity. "I know it's silly, but I can't help but feel self-conscious about them. Especially…now I guess."

Rooster's expression softened before he sat down next to her, bringing her to his lap and kissing her forehead, “You aren’t feeding the monster inside your brain.” He sounded proud, “You aren’t holding your doubts in anymore.”

“Well…I’m trying.” she says softly, “Honestly…I…I wasn’t caring about it these months,I didn’t care…I don’t know why it’s like this now…”

Rooster held her close, his arms wrapped protectively around her, only to prop his chin on her shoulder. "Bea," he said softly, "it's perfectly normal to have these feelings. It's okay to feel self-conscious from time to time…but I want you to know that you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever met. And you," he kisses her cheek, ‘Still drives me,absolutely crazy.”

She couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, leaning close to him to nuzzle his cheek and them placing her head on his shoulder instead of vice versa, “I know.” she whispers, drawing with her nail on the back of his hand, “I’ll be okay,I won’t let it get to me.”

Won’t you?

Rooster hugged her tighter, his chin resting on the top of her head. "I know,baby," he assured her. "I don’t worry about you when it comes to that."

“You don’t?’

“I just worry if there are people who are bothering you and I can’t punch them.” now that made her laugh, she had to cover her mouth to muffle it in fear they’d both wake Nicole up…even though their daughter was literally the personification of deep sleep. “Speaking of worry…how was your day with Mav?” it wasn’t that he didn’t trust his uncle, he did…most of the time.

"Oh, you know," she replied, her tone teasing, "Mav was his usual charming self. We went for a walk, had some baby talk, and I'm pretty sure he's convinced Nicole is a future aviation genius."

“Ah.”

“Yeah, but,you know,I had a lot of fun.” she says, shrugging gently, “It was really nice.”

“You didn’t get too tired?”

“Well,sometimes. But I stopped a few times to regain myself.”

He eases out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had no idea why he was so nervous about it, hell, it was Mav. The worst he could do was bore Bea to death with some lingo but knowing his wife…she’d just listen it attentively.

"I'm glad you had fun," he said softly, his arms still wrapped around her. "But don't hesitate to let Mav or anyone else know if you need a break, okay? You're still recovering, and you need to take care of yourself."

Beatrice smiled warmly at his concern. "I will, I promise," she assured him. "I know my limits."

Rooster kissed her forehead gently, his lips lingering there for a moment. "I know you do," he murmured. "But I can't help but worry. You mean the world to me, Bea."

"You mean the world to me too," she whispered against his lips. Rooster held her close, their foreheads touching once they break the kiss. "Speaking of which…what is the idea you were talking about?” he hums,peppering kisses on her jawline until he reached her neck,clearly distracted, “Rooster.” she tries again, giggling when he nips the base of her throat, “Rooster, you have to answer me now,I’m curious.”

He groans quietly, then sighs against her lips, “Well…alright.” he mutters, “I was just thinking that…one of these days.” he shrugs, innocently, “We could use the office for…certain…activities.”

Beatrice blinked back at him, then furrowed her brows, “...Bradley Nicholas.”

“Oh,I love when you say my name like that.” he mutters, keeping on kissing her neck, “Mmmm,say it again.”

“You are unbelievably horny.”

He stops kissing to lift his head then smirk at her, “Well,” and he shrugs,because she wasn’t wrong, “I am yeah, I can’t help it…but it was something I had in mind. Honestly.” he says,playing with the end of her shirt and moving his fingers to the small bow that sat on the center of her shorts, “But isn’t it a good idea? Mmmmm?”

Beatrice laughs softly, squirming when he kisses her skin a few more times, only to lean back and cup his face, meeting her lips to his and then the tip of his nose, “Yes.It is a lovely idea…we can try it…as soon as we are able.”

“Good.” he was going to say more but she was trying so hard to keep herself awake, “Alright,” he cups her legs again, adjusting his hold on her body as he turns to the bed, “Time to sleep,we both need it.” she was so tired she just hummed in answer, “Oh,by the way.”

“Hm?”

She just lets him tuck her in, nuzzling her pillow happily, “Penny might call you tomorrow.’ at the mention of her boss she just furrows her eyes and then turns towards him with confusion, “Mav told me, said she doesn’t want to call you because of the twins but she will eventually.”

“Oh,really?”

Rooster nodded in acknowledgment as he carefully tucked Beatrice into bed. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Yep," he whispered, his voice soothing. "I'll talk to Penny when she calls. Don't you worry about it now. Just get some rest."

Beatrice nodded sleepily, her eyes already half-closed. "What if…what if you are at work…when she does?" she mumbled, her words slurring with exhaustion.

Rooster smiled tenderly and pulled the covers up around her shoulders. "Mav will tell me.”

“Mmmkay…”

With that, he sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, watching as she slowly disappeared into dream land. He smiles, seeing how her chest rose and fell as she slept, before sighing deeply, hands clasped between his parted legs while his eyes face forward. He probably should sleep.

Probably.

He looks back to Beatrice, sees she’s now fast asleep, then faces the door, “...I think I can be pretty quiet.” he mutters, pushing himself to his feet before walking out of the bedroom.

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bratshaws · 1 year

Text

through the hourglass 231. brb x oc

a/n: another shorty because i had connection issues all day >:I (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/180/181/182/183/184/185/186/187/188/189/190/191/192/193/194/195/196/197/198/199/200/201/202/203/204/205/206/207/208/209

/210/211/212/213/214/215/216/217/218/219/220/221/222/223/224

/225/226/227/228/229/230

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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Rooster smiled as he scrolled down the pictures in his phone, chewing what was left of the mint-flavored gum as he waited for Maverick to show up. He couldn't help but look at the several pictures he had taken of Beatrice whenever she wasn't looking. It was his own little treasure trove of candid moments.

There were pictures of Bea in the kitchen, her brow furrowed in concentration as she cooked up one of her delicious meals. He had a series of photos of her gardening, her hands covered in dirt as she lovingly tended to her plants. There was even a picture of her sleeping, her face relaxed in slumber, her hair splayed out on the pillow.

Each image held a special place in his heart, a testament to the love and happiness they had found together. Rooster couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the life they had built.

Just as he was about to close the gallery and put his phone away, Maverick's text came in, letting him know he was on his way. Rooster quickly sent a reply, telling him to take his time, and then pocketed his phone.

He glanced around the base’s cafeteria, on the same table they often shared with his eyes looking around for his uncle. He then did a double take when he saw another pilot, one he hadn’t met before, approaching his seat.

Rooster couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise as the unfamiliar pilot approached his table. He had been expecting Maverick, not a stranger. Nevertheless, he put on a friendly smile as the pilot drew closer.

"Hey there," Rooster greeted, extending a hand. "I don't think we've met before. I'm Rooster."

The pilot grinned and shook Rooster's hand firmly. "I know who you are," he replied, "I'm Lieutenant Halton, but most people call me Hal. I've heard a lot about you, Lieutenant Bradshaw."

Rooster couldn't help but feel a bit flattered by the pilot's enthusiasm. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Hal. I… have to admit, I wasn't expecting any company other than my uncle today."

Jack took a seat across from Rooster, looking eager to chat. "Yeah, about that," he began, leaning in a bit closer, "I heard you and your uncle are pretty close. Mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Rooster’s smile dropped for a second, only to let out a confused laugh, “May I ask why?”

“Well,” the other man stands with his hands behind his back, “I was just transferred to this base.”

Rooster raised an eyebrow at the mention of a recent transfer. "I see," he replied, trying to keep his tone neutral. He wasn't quite sure where this conversation was headed, but he was curious to see where Lieutenant Halton was going with it. "Transfers happen all the time in the military. What's on your mind?"

Halton leaned in a bit closer, his expression earnest. "Well, I've heard that your uncle, Maverick, is one of the best pilots in the business," he said. "And I'm always looking to learn from the best. I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me, maybe introduce me to him."

Rooster studied Halton for a moment, his instincts on high alert. It wasn't uncommon for pilots to want to learn from experienced aces like Maverick, but something about this situation didn't sit right with him. Maverick was a legend, and Rooster was protective of his uncle's time and reputation.

Plus, Mav only chose the ones he met firsthand. And those he knew about.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Hal," Rooster began carefully, "but my uncle's schedule can be pretty busy. And he also has responsibilities outside of flying. I'm not sure if he has the time to take on a protege right now." or ever.

Halton's face fell slightly, but he quickly masked his disappointment with a smile. "I understand," he said, nodding. "But if you could just put in a word for me, let him know that I'm eager to learn and willing to work hard, I'd really appreciate it."

Rooster couldn't help but feel a bit sympathetic toward the other pilot. He remembered what it was like to be new to the Navy, "I'll mention it to him," he promised. "But I can't make any guarantees. Just keep doing your best, and who knows, maybe your paths will cross naturally."

Halton brightened up at the prospect of even a small chance. "Thank you, Rooster," he said sincerely. "I really appreciate it. And if there's anything I can do to repay the favor, just let me know."

Rooster waved off the offer with a smile. "No need for that," he replied. "We're all part of the same team here. Just focus on your training and your duties, and you'll do just fine." Halton salutes him and then walks away leaving Rooster slowly chewing his gum with his arms crossed on the table.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about this encounter, then he hummed, looking around a bit, “Only a few people would know of newcomers at the base,” his eyes flicked to the left, “And I know exactly who it is.”

The Duckies, aka Rooster’s fanboys, were seated not too far from him. Faraday,McAllister and Thompson often sat either close by or within view of him, they didn’t even noticed most of the time and Rooster didn’t think

Rooster couldn't help but feel that something was amiss. He had a hunch that Halton's sudden interest in meeting his uncle Maverick wasn't as innocent as it seemed. The fact that Halton knew he was Maverick's nephew raised some red flags. Maverick was a highly respected and sought-after pilot, and he wasn't one to take on proteges lightly.

Or at all.

He was so deep in thought he hadn’t heard Maverick himself walking up to him, jumping when his uncle playfully punched his shoulder, “Sorry I’m late, paperwork.”

Rooster turned to his uncle Maverick, a wry smile on his face. "Paperwork, huh?" he teased. "You're becoming more and more like a desk jockey every day, aren't you?"

Maverick chuckled, taking a seat in front of Rooster, groaning in reply. "Don't remind me," he replied. "But hey, at least I'm not in a hurry to retire like some people I know."

Rooster grinned. "We both know you’ll never retire if you can."

Maverick's eyes flicked to the Duckies, who were sitting not too far away, and he raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of retirement, it looks like your fan club is still going strong."

Rooster followed his uncle's gaze and couldn't help but chuckle…he had developed a soft spot for them. "Yeah, they're a persistent bunch," Rooster said with a grin, folding his hands to prop his chin on top. "But they mean well."

Maverick nodded. "It's good to have fans," he replied. "Just don't let them distract you too much from your own goals."

Rooster nodded in agreement. "I won't, Uncle. I know what's important." he pauses, “...speaking of fans." Rooster began, "I had a strange encounter with a new pilot a few minutes ago. His name's Halton, and he seemed really eager to meet you."

Maverick raised an eyebrow. "Halton, you say?"

Rooster nodded. "Yeah, he asked me if I could introduce him to you. He seemed almost...obsessed with the idea."

Maverick's expression turned thoughtful. "That is strange," he mused. "I wonder what he wants."

“...you aren’t worried?”

Maverick sighed, shrugging at him, “Should I be?”

Rooster considered his uncle's question for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't know, Mav," he replied honestly. "It just struck me as odd how persistent he was. Maybe he's just a really enthusiastic fan."

Maverick leaned back in his chair, a contemplative look in his eyes. "Maybe," he conceded. "But I'll keep an eye out for this Halton guy. It doesn't hurt to be cautious."

Rooster nodded in agreement. "That's true. Anyway, how's everything going with you, Maverick? Besides the paperwork."

Maverick let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Honestly, Rooster, it's been a bit of a rough patch lately. The higher-ups are putting more pressure on me to take on administrative roles and step away from active flight duty. They say it's time for the next generation to take the reins."

Rooster frowned, concern etching his features. "But you love flying, Mav. It's who you are."

Maverick nodded, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I know, Rooster. But sometimes, we have to make sacrifices for the greater good. The Navy needs fresh leadership, and I can't ignore that."

Rooster could sense the inner conflict within his uncle. Maverick had always been a pilot through and through, and the thought of him stepping away from the cockpit was a significant change. Almost…scary "You'll still be involved, right? It's not like you're leaving the Navy altogether?"

Maverick gave a half-smile. "I’d like them to get rid of me.I'll still be overseeing training programs and mentoring the new generation. But it won't be the same as being up there in the skies." he sighs, “...maybe I can convince them to stop being jerks and let me continue.”

“You think they will?”

His uncle pursed his lips, then arched his brows, “I have my ways to convince them. Besides, I can make something up eventually…I’m not ready to retire.”

Rooster grinned, recognizing the determined glint in Maverick's eyes. "I have no doubt you'll find a way to stay in the cockpit, Mav. After all, you're not just a great pilot; you're a master persuader too."

Maverick chuckled. "Well, let's hope my powers of persuasion are as sharp as my flying skills."

“When weren’t they?”

“I mean there were a few times.” he shrugs, ‘You know, just a few times when it happened and I was really dealt the heavy cards.

Rooster nodded, tapping his finger against the wooden table, “Yeah,I get it.” he didn’t know why the idea of Maverick retiring was so…weird and scary for him. Was it because he had just got back to talking to Mav and he wanted his uncle to see what he accomplished? Or was it just because Maverick’s presence was a reminder of his dad in some way?

Maybe he should stop thinking about it right now.

“I’m home.” he says, already toeing out his boots with a soft grunt escaping his throat, “Fuck that’s good,” he blinks, looking around and trying to see if Bea,Nikki and the dogs were anywhere within his sight “Babe?”

The sound of Rooster's voice reached Beatrice in the living room, where she was sitting on the floor with Nicole, engrossed in playing with colorful building blocks. The dogs, Jack and Jolene , were sprawled out lazily nearby, enjoying the indoor playtime while Eleanor was too busy growling at the birds outside in their garden.

Beatrice looked up, her face lighting up with a smile at the sound of her husband's voice. "In here, Roos!" she called out.

Rooster followed her voice, dropping his things to the floor and pulling his sunglasses up to his hairline "Hey, there," he greeted Beatrice with a tender kiss,leaning down to meet her on the couch. "Missed you."

Beatrice returned the kiss, her lips lingering against his for a moment. "Missed you too," she murmured, her eyes filled with affection, gently stroking his chin. She then turned her attention to Nicole, who was reaching out to her father with chubby little arms. "And someone's been waiting to see you too."

Rooster's face lit up as he took Nicole into his arms, cuddling her close. "Hey there, birdie," he cooed, pressing a soft kiss to her tiny forehead. Nicole let out a delighted giggle, her tiny hands reaching for his face. “I missed you too.”

"How was your day, handsome?" Beatrice asked as she watched Rooster and Nicole share a sweet moment.

Rooster sighed contentedly, his eyes never leaving his daughter's face. "Long, as usual," he replied. "But seeing both of you makes it all worth it."

Beatrice reached out and caressed Rooster's cheek with a soft, loving touch. "We missed you too," she said, her voice filled with warmth. "Everything good there,then?”

Rooster leaned in and kissed Beatrice's forehead. "Yeah, everything's running smoothly," he replied. "We're just preparing for the upcoming exercises. It's been pretty routine lately."

Beatrice nodded, her fingers still tracing soothing patterns on Rooster's cheek. "Routine is good," she said softly. "It means things are stable."

Rooster smiled,”But I did meet a random officer.” he says, adjusting Nicole on his hold, “His name was…Halton,I think, he was really interested in meeting Maverick for some reason.”

Beatrice stared at him for a few seconds, “...Halton?”

“Yeah.” Her face paled and Rooster furrowed his brows, “Bea?”

She giggled softly, then cleared her throat, “Well um…h-how would you react if I told you…that’s Miranda’s last name?”

Rooster blinked, his mind processing Beatrice's words. "Wait, you mean Miranda as in our neighbor?" he asked, his voice tinged with surprise. “That Miranda?”

Beatrice nodded, a slightly sheepish expression on her face. "Yeah, that Miranda."

“Oh…that…” he frowns, “How exactly do you know that?”

“Ah,well,maybe you should sit down?”

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