#I've never been to Seattle but if I ever get the chance I'll have to go there

[how-many-purples]

Did you know there’s a store in Seattle that sells only purple things? I just wanted you to know that, but also if you have time, could you count the purples on the about page of their website? https://www.thepurplestore.com/about.shtml

Oh my gosh, I love this!

How It Started

When people ask "Where'd you get that?" our founder, Adam Sheridan, ever-so-funny, usually answers "At the doorknob store" or "necklace store" or "mozzarella cheese store." Asked about something cool and purple one day, his quick answer was, of course, "the purple store." Somewhere a chime sounded.

Meeting a Need, Building A Community

Purple is a lifestyle. Finally here's an answer for those who have cried for something to come in purple, to be able to buy "just the purple one" in a set.

By shopping here you give us the buying power and clout to get manufacturers to make items in purple, make things just in purple, and package them so you don't need to buy seven pens you don't want to get the purple one.

The Purple Store is here to meet your purple needs. That takes your input and involvement. Please let us know about any products you're looking for or ones you recommend. Sign up on our Purple Club e-mail list for occasional updates (see below). Link to us from your blog or website. And please, please tell your friends so The Purple Store continues to grow.

Where Is the Store?

The Purple Store is based in Seattle, WA, USA. In Seattle or planning to visit? Shop The Purple Store retail location. Hundreds of Seattle visitors make the trip each year!

How long have you been around?

The Purple Store started in 2004.  When you're done shopping purple today you can find some fun old versions of the site here.

purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple - 17 PURPLES!

[hollowtones]

my month-late PAX West post (& a catalogue of some things I saw and did and bought in September / late August)

PAX West was very fun this year. It was my first ever PAX and it was my first convention at all in maybe a decade. Any excuse to see friends is a good one & I love hanging out with the RTVS crew whenever I have the time and money to travel. ^_^ I even got to see some friends I've never seen in person before!!! (Thank you to Jill and Evan for the "Petal Crash" pin & thank you to Taxi for stealing my name tag by accident.)

I am very shy, and I have very severe social anxiety that causes me a lot of problems in my day-to-day life, so I almost didn't go to the RTVS meetup. People there were very sweet, though, so I'm glad I did. It feels very heartening to have people come up to you and tell you what the things you've made have meant to them. It was very hard to not cry. LOL

If you stopped by to say hi, thank you very much. I've been thinking about it through all of September and smiling a lot about it. ^_^

The rest of this post is largely pics of things Puzz and I picked up for ourselves. (And a little bit of talking about some other things we did.) I thought it would be fun to catalogue them. I tend to be a little thrifty, so I got to splurge on my wife. LOL

These were mostly things we got for Puzz because I didn't want to worry about lugging things home in a suitcase. But she keeps telling me they're our things, which makes me smile every time I think about it. Some of the pins are for me. I'd like to put them on my backpack... Hopefully they don't fall off. Jackie and Dodogama are friends.

The "Chicory" bag is a bit of a funny story. Puzz and I saw the "Beastieball" booth in the corner of the indie section. Very fun demo. Very cute booth. They have cool merch! I thought I saw Lena Raine working the booth, and I got really shy & nervous about making a poor impression, so I just kind of hid behind my partner. (I wish I had said hi, in retrospect... but we live and we learn...) So we just kind of shuffle off to the merch desk and talk to a very nice man there while we pick up some things. I work up the guts to say that I really like these games and that they mean a lot to me!! The guy says, well thank you, that means a lot to me and the team. Wow! Real swell guy, I'm thinking to myself. A day or two later Puzz and I are out to lunch with some friends and I just suddenly go eyes wide & mouth agape because I put two and two together in my head and realize Oh holy shit that was Greg Lobanov wasn't it. LOL

Puzz found a cheap copy of "999: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors" for the DS at a retro game store's pop-up. They also had "A Bug's Life" for Game Boy Colour and a strategy guide for "Gex 3", both of which I wish I had picked up.

Mr. Basculin was a gift from Jake. Good news! Mr. Basculin is still alive.

This is all stuff that was given to me as gifts. (Aside from the con badges. They make you pay for those.) You've probably already seen the Bibi that Jake made me. "Chicken Run" was also from him. "Zapper" was from Puzz and the Gumby game (& the Bad Boe sticker) was from Scorpy. These games fuckin suck asshole!!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with them & I'll cherish them forever. I also got a little rock and a human dog keychain.

I think Scorpy said a fan gave this to him at PAX East to pass to me eventually. I'm having a hard time reading the @ on it, but on the off-chance you see this: thank you so much. Every time I think about it I get a little teary-eyed. I want to get myself a little picture frame for it. (This is the first time someone's given me fanart like this before, and it made me very emotional. LOL)

Puzz and I only got 2-day passes for PAX, so we spent the rest of our time in Seattle hanging out with friends and seeing the sights. I don't feel like digging all the photos out right now, but we went to a really fucking nice jazz club (Dimitriou's Jazz Alley - great ambience, really good food, we saw Keiko Matsui live which was life-changing), we visited MoPOP (I hadn't been in years! It was alright! Puzz had some capital-t Thoughts about the whole place which was fun to listen to!), we rode the trains, I got a big bag of Dicks, we walked around downtown. There was this really nice coffee shop that I keep having dreams about, so I hope I can go back to Seattle soon. (Or at least eventually, next year.) Then we went to Portland for a day to say hi to a friend because the state was nearby.

Then we went back to Puzz's place in California. Then there was a major heatwave & a bunch of wildfires nearby... So we didn't have the chance to get out much in September. But that's okay. We've both been tired lately & I think we both badly needed some dedicated Not Doing Things time. It's just a shame that it was enforced by Dangerous Weather Conditions.

We got to visit some local friends and I got to try out more Bog-Standard Mediocre American Food. (Dunkin Donuts is just Tim Hortons. Olive Garden is kind of scary but the salad was really good and the breadsticks were fine. I had a middling hamburger from Jack In The Box tonight. Their milkshake was very good. I'm sure I'm forgetting others.) I went to a Macy's for the first time and the layout of the store made me have a panic attack. We went for nice walks and saw lots of nice critters and plants. I got to swim! I watched a mediocre PlayStation presentation! I turned 30 years old! Puzz took me to a very fancy and really nice Italian place for my birthday, in case you were worried that I was only eating garbage here. LOL

We got a lot of books.

Maybe too many. Also a Miles Davis vinyl for myself & some Gunpla as an early birthday gift for Puzz. And also the cookbook was a gift from family. But I'm very excited to tuck into more of these, hopefully soon. Some were for me and some were for Puzz but knowing us we're going to go "hey, I liked this one, you check it out" or "hey, I didn't like this one, but maybe you will" for a lot of them. I'm gonna start with "Annihilation" and the game essays book. ("House of Leaves" is a second copy for us, because my copy was originally Puzz's and I wanted them to be able to read it too.) I don't have room in my bags for much more than what I came here with, so we're gonna ship some of the books to each other when we're done reading.

It's been a very nice month... I feel very thankful to have a life full of love like this. I don't think I have anything else to add to this post! Thanks for reading.

[cleoselene]

All The Concerts!

my mom wrote down every concert she's ever been to and it's a LOT, like in the triple digits

and it got me thinking if I could name every concert I've ever been to? I am fearful I might forget some tho my MS memory sucks but here goes:

New Kids on the Block

Boyz II Men/MC Hammer

Tori Amos (x7)

Switchblade Symphony

KMFDM with Nivek Ogre

VNV Nation (x2)

Air Supply (x2)

Terri Clark (lol I hated country when my family dragged me to this one, I was in my peak Snob Goth era)

Garth Brooks (happened much later when I had learned to embrace country)

Peter Cetera

Sarah McLachlan

The Editors

Radiohead (i hated this hahah, it was so fucking boring like their music. My friend bought the tickets and I had hoped seeing them live would make it click. It did not. I was bored and cold because it was raining in Seattle)

Coldplay (was so much better than Radiohead, seethe snobby indie rock fans)

Regina Spektor

The Decemberists (literally the worst concert I've ever seen. Again I did not buy the tickets but my friend who liked going to indie rock shows always bought two tickets in hopes of getting a date and I was her backup if she didn't. To be clear even though this and Radiohead sucked, I did have a great time with my friend both times)

Cake

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic

Puscifer

Barry Manilow

ummm now I'm drawing a blank but I KNOW I've been to more shows and the stupid brain damage is making me forget. I've always been to see a fuck ton of tribute bands at this supper club, and tbh they were almost all really good. The Pink Floyd one especially. Also lol in middle school once this club I was in had a band come perform and they were like... a hair metal Christian band that took mainstream rock songs like "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi and changed the lyrics to like... "LIVING 'CAUSE I PRAAYYYY" and it was fucking hilarious. It's driving me crazy tho because I know there are more actual real concerts I am forgetting -_-

so i guess if you count all the artists I saw multiple times, it comes to... *maths* 28 concerts? Which tbh does not feel like nearly enough.

on the bucket list:

Vienna Teng

Brandi Carlile

Portishead (lol this will never happen but a girl can dream)

Beyoncé

Taylor Swift

TOOL

A Perfect Circle

The Amazing Devil (which is somehow even less likely than Portishead)

SO I'LL MAKE THIS A MEME. Tell me which concerts you've been to, and tell me which concerts you feel like you MUST see before you die. @deathinthesun @an-ivy-covered-summer @swiftzeldas @sylvieons and whoever else wants to do it~

I did get Taylor tickets last year HOWEVER they were... beyond atrocious, the seats. Like, upper upper deck, BEHIND the stage with like no visibility, not even of the screens, because again: BEHIND. I had like three people trying to get tickets that day and 2/3 of us failed but my friend succeeded and she was like "do you want me to buy these? they're upper deck" and I was like yeah yeah that's okay! We can look at the screens! And then I saw the "OBSTRUCTED VISIBILITY" thing and looked at the layout and I was like...kind of devastated, honestly? It's really hard for me to do an outing like that physically, it was outdoors in April (which translates to HOT in Florida) and I just didn't see myself able to endure 5 or 6 hours at minimum in the heat without like, passing out and dying. Not to mention I'm still really scared of being in a large space with that many people because my disease-modifying drug destroys most of my immune system. I ended up selling them, and... buying my vinyl collection lol. Taylor got a lot of that money again because I bought a lot of her records. I'm kind of bummed that maybe I missed my chance forever, but again, I don't think I could have physically swung it. Plus, of the three nights she did Tampa, the show I was supposed to go to had meh surprise songs while the other 2 nights had AMAZING ones, so I know I would have been salty about that too. ONE DAY THO.

[a-fragile-little-teacup]

i have a story about a dodie concert

Disclaimer: I would never have truly believed that this happened if the people I was hanging out with hadn't grabbed my shoulders, told me, and freaked out on my behalf. And even now, I am not fully convinced but it's a nice memory, so...

Back in 2018, I saw dodie perform in Seattle. I went alone and met with some people that I had been talking to on Twitter for like a week before. We were lucky enough to get barricade. It was a packed venue.

dodie's set went "6/10" straight into "Secret for the Mad".

For very personal reasons, "6/10" is a song that I cannot listen to without crying. Part of it is definitely this moment. The other part is a variety of shit that I don't wanna disclose on the internet.

So, "6/10" plays, I started sobbing. A lot. And I despised crying in front of people. With a passion. So, there's a lot happening.

"6/10" ends, I am still crying, and "Secret for the Mad" starts.

I kinda just fell silent, still crying. During the first chorus (i think, it's blurry, a lot was happening), I thought for the splitest of seconds that dodie was looking at me. I thought it was just the emotions and tried to wipe my eyes (hopeless effort, by the way).

It wasn't until the song ended that one of the people that I was with grabbed my arms and shook me and shouted about her looking at me. I didn't believe it but they promised that they had it on video (which I have saved on my phone somewhere. There's no way in hell that I got rid of it, but because it was someone else, I don't think it proves much).

Anyway, that memory has stuck with me for five years. I've seen dodie once since. I still cry listening to that song. And I don't think that I'll ever get the chance to thank dodie for that (if it happened). She probably does not remember it or think about it, but I hope she has some idea of how much that moment made me feel heard, seen, and understood during a time in my life when I really didn't feel like I was.

Yeah. That's my little story. I just wanted to share it because it's kinda cute.

Thank you for reading, if you did. Love you!

[youneedtolookatthis]

Wow. Someone tagged me in a thing. That just doesn't happen much. Thanks @jules-of-the-deep!!

rules: list your...

✨️ no°1 team?

The Seattle Kraken. I grew up with the Red Wings and had the largest crush on Sergei Fedorov. I watched that team become the unstoppable machine that it was but as time went off, I fell out with hockey in general. When the campaign to get Seattle a team really started going, I pitched in where I saw the chance. Beating the Avs in the first round last year was extra sweet. Falling into the habit of hating the Avs again is all too easy.

💌 your favorite goalie?

Ever? Domink Hasek. The man had his own MasterCard commercial and he was... amazing. No one has ever played the game like that before or since.

Right now? Probably Joey Daccord. He plays like a soccer goalie - he's the starting point of a lot of plays, he distributes the puck with the thought of starting break outs and rushes. He's a lot of fun to watch. (And I have always loved Flower. He's great.)

🔟what would be your jersey number?

Geeze. I don't know. I've never been in a place to have one before but maybe 78? 23 would be good too.

👯🏻‍♂️what team would you love to play for?

Ha ha ha ha. Me playing is a hilarious thought, though I am determined to skate on that Winter Classic ice at the very least. I will admit, I look for open jobs on the Kraken website now and then...

❤️‍🔥who is your favorite player currently?

Right now? Probably Yanni Gourde. He's a happy, joyful troll and that has always been the sort of player that gets my attention and affection in any sport. Bellmare is quickly rising in the ranks and I really like Dunner as well. Non-Kraken, I've always like Kris Letang, something about Leon Draisaitl has always been fascinating and Dylan Larkin being the current Red Wings captain makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

👀a trade that hurt you emotionally?

Losing Donato and Soucy over the summer hurt but to find something that hurt me a lot you have to go WAAAAAY back. (The Wings have a history of just... awful trades.)

🌈 what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

It has been pretty great. I have to curate my feed a bit since there is a lot more Omegaverse and such than my demi brain can handle but generally, everyone I've run into has been pleasant and just... cheerful about the whole thing, which is definitely needed these days.

and then tag some mutuals you'd like to know these about ☺️🏒🖤

I don't have a lot of people to tag that haven't been already but I'll add @againstthegrainphoto to the fun. (No pressure to play at all.)

[evevoli]

Regular asks not working on mobile, submitting instead

Sorry to hear you’re having a rough day.  I come with distraction asks:

What are some things you’re a fan of but not in a fandom for?

Do you have any fic/art ideas you feel are too silly/not good enough to dedicate the effort they would need to work?

What’s the coolest place you’ve ever visited?

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?

Look up ‘deep sea creature’ and find your favorite.

oh omg thank you hh i didnt see when you sent this so sorry if it's a bit late lol

1. madoka magica and fullmetal alchemist are two things that come to mind. i love them to bits but i just quietly reblog things in the background for them lol. also pokemon to some extent im just kind of Here

2. i actually thought up a stupid genshin comic involving venti and diona trying to get along (they would Hate Each Other if they ever interacted in canon) a few weeks ago, but it didn't really go anywhere and i never have the motivation for comics so i haven't done anything with it. maybe i'll get around to it one of these days

3. i don't get to visit many places so seattle center is probably the best place i've been, specifically the area outside the MOPOP. :0 i walked around there in the early morning once and it was the most inner peace i've ever felt

4. i've always wanted to get into knitting/crochet! i've never gotten the chance to though

5. oh im in love with the ghost octopus

not the most visually interesting of creatures but i would like to kiss him on the head regardless

[festivecuriosity]

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

[forestslut]

HELLO! Bas pal! Hope you are well!

Have you been to many Bas shows? What’s your Bastille journey? Tell me the things! 😊

hiiiiii!! <3 i am well :) i've been to three Bas concerts so far! i first started listening to them in 2014. it's actually a pretty funny story; i absolutely HATED Pompeii at first because they played it so much on the radio lol! my best friend (who I met online bc of Bastille) also shares this experience :”) it is hands down one of my favorites of theirs now. the concept and the history aspect of it really gets to me!

i used to listen to the 1975 radio on Pandora a lot and heard several of their songs on there. never bothered to really look them up, but one day i took a look at who it was that was singing and was surprised to learn that it was them!! i think one of the first songs i heard of them that i really liked was What Would You Do. which, i know isn't actually THEIR song, but Dan's voice is just so beautiful. anyway, after awhile, one day i had one of those music channels going on the TV (fuckin miss that shit btw) where they have little pictures of the artist + fun facts, and thus began my obsession.

i found out that they were coming to Seattle and when they came on one of those music channels again, i started crying hysterically (bc i am Completely Normal about them) and my dad bought me a concert ticket to see them!! it was utterly life changing. i feel like i discovered this band at exactly the right time, and their music seems to enter my life at exactly the right time, every time. i love Dan's mind and have wished for years that i could sit down with him and listen to him talk for hours about his inspiration. i feel like there's a lot about him that i really relate too, and. UGH. i just love this band so much. for SO many reasons. the last concert i went to was in 2019. i went with a close friend at the time and we had an amazing night. didn't go to their last concert because i hate crowds, had no one to go with and also COVID, but if they tour again, i def wanna go. i miss them so much. OH! and also!! at my last concert, during Flaws, i was INCHES AWAY FROM HIM!! INCHES AWAY FROM THAT WHITE BALD HEAD LMAO. i'll never forget that moment. for years i wanted to be one of those people that got that close to him, and that dream came true!

also, fun fact! the title of my blog (that has been the same since the dawn of time) came about because 1. i love that question. and 2. during my first concert, Dan looked me straight in the eyes as he sang that very line. when i tell you my soul fucking ASCENDED. it's been the same ever since, and i don't think i'll ever change it. i tried changing it a couple years back but it literally felt wrong, lol. i love the song and i think it's important to ask yourself that question once in awhile.

thanks so much for sending this ask :') it's been a long while since i've talked to anyone who shares my love for Bastille, and it feels so nice to get the chance again aaaaaa!!

please tell me about your Bastille journey!!! <3

[mydaroga]

hi! i hope you're doing well :)

i don't know a lot about my brother anymore because he decided to keep a distance between him and the rest of the family. i have never been very close to him, compared to my other brothers, but i hope as we get older it'll get better... do you have siblings?

i'm studying jazz as a pianist! i used to play bass in a rock band when i was in high school and, fun fact: i've never had played the bass before and a friend of mine told me he needed a bass player for a band he wanted to start. i told him i could borrow my brother's bass guitar but i didn't know how to play, my friend said it didn't matter and he still wanted me in the group. i felt very like stuart sutcliffe haha! though i've been learning music theory since i'm 6, i managed to play a little easier than him i guess :) i totally understand what you mean by hating a kind of jazz; i do have troubles listening to free jazz and some be-bop stuff that are too much be-bop! i love new orleans jazz, it's very feelgood, i also love more "mainstream" jazz, like tin pan alley music or all the smooth/popular singers such as frank sinatra and co. i'm curious to know what is the "best ever" jazz for you? :)

oh nice!! i'm also an actor in theater! i'm currently working on a play that is a rewriting of icarus' myth in a post-apocalyptic universe and i play icarus :) it's so cool; when you say you create theater, does it mean you write plays? do you stage plays?

you had the chance to see paul mccartney live, lucky you! that's awesome! i think my first concert was a beatles tribute band too, perhaps in 2010? i don't really remember. the last one was the rolling stones in 2014. it was a long time ago but i'm actually not fond of concerts, especially for huge and popular bands.

by the way, where are you from?

your secret santa

Hello Santa! It's good to hear from you. So much to cover!

I regretted being flippant about your brother right after I posted, so I hope you'll forgive me--it was insensitive not knowing anything about the situation. I do have siblings, two younger brothers, and I get on with them okay. I'll be seeing them this holiday and lately the one I've had most trouble with in the past has been making overtures, so I'm hopeful.

I have never played bass, but you could just as well have been pressed into it and become a Paul McCartney, right? I joined a rock band and learned keyboard as I went, though I suppose it's worth nothing I am... not currently in a band, or playing, lol. I am probably with you about jazz--it's the free jazz and endless jamming I am not a fan of. I'm basic, I like song structure, I guess? I love standards and big band and the fun stuff; I think Benny Goodman's "Sing Sing SIng" is a jam. I love Nina Simone, does that count? Basically I like jazz songs, I don't love someone endlessly going on on saxophone. Oh and smooth jazz is just such a buzzkill.

As for theater, a friend and I have a theater company we started about ten years ago, here in Seattle. (oops, self-doxxing--kidding, I'm easy to find actually.) We do scifi shows, for free, outdoors. We've got some other plans in the works as well. I act in those, and at other theaters around town, but for my own company I've done everything but direct, really.

The Stones must be something to see! I'm with you about big shows--I hadn't been to a concert since ages before the pandemic even, and that was because The Zombies reunited after like fifty years and I got to see them live. Generally it's too loud and too much, but I think I'm more likely to make exceptions for these older acts because I want to experience them before it's too late. I think the fact I got to see Paul is immensely important to me, and I'm not even sure why!

Do you celebrate the holidays? Any fun plans?

[letstalkaboutfics]

Where I Sleep

FANDOM: Grey's Anatomy

PAIRING: One Sided Mark Sloan/Addison Montgomery

RATING: K

Standalone Song-Fic to 'Where I Sleep' by Emeli Sande, from the 2012 album 'Our Version of Events' in which we learn more about Mark's thought processes with regards to following Addison to Seattle.

There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow

There's nothing that I won't do for your kiss

Mark had known that it would only be a matter of days before Addie left him. He knew he had messed up. He hadn't been able to help himself from the moment that Addie had said she wasn't going to keep the baby, their baby. He knew he should have stayed faithful, proven to her that he would be a good father, but he also knew that that wouldn't have saved their relationship when all Addison wanted to do was go to find her husband, no matter how badly Mark wanted her to stay with him.

So, in reality, he shouldn't have been surprised when she left him a note telling him that she was going to be going to find her husband, his best friend and that he shouldn't follow her. However, despite his infidelity, he truly believed that he and Addison were meant to be together and for that reason, he chose to ignore her wishes. He was going after. He loved her. He had loved her for longer than he should have, given that she was his best friend's wife, but he no longer wanted to hide the fact he loved her.

I love you like there's no tomorrow

Cause nothing ever felt like this

Almost immediately, Mark hit his first issue. He had no idea where to find them. Addie had done well to cover her tracks, she must have known that Mark would follow her immediately, if given the chance, so she simply hadn't told anyone where she was going, except their boss. However, Mark wouldn't give up that easily. He couldn't, not if he wanted to win Addison back.

So he kept calling people, asking after not only Addison but Derek as well, figuring if he found one of them, he would find both of them. He wanted Derek back in his life as well, they had been best friends, brothers even, for so long, so to go this long without talking to him was torture for Mark. He knew he deserved Derek's hatred but that didn't make it any easier on him.

There's nothing I won't steal or borrow

I'll travel on a boat or aeroplane

It took him three long weeks to finally find them, through whisperings of a dirty mistress in Seattle, at Seattle Grace Hospital. This, he decided, must be the same Dirty Mistress that he and Addie had heard about while they were together, Derek's new woman. So he made an excuse to be there, finding a patient in Seattle who could have been treated by any doctor, and deciding that they needed the full Mark Sloan treatment.

The next step had been to call Richard Webber, and book himself a flight to Seattle. He had prepared a whole speech about why Doctor Webber needed him there for this surgery, but the man had practically jumped at the chance, offering him full surgical privileges for the duration of his trip, which would take place just ten days later, giving him time to make arrangements for his own practice while he was gone, including rearranging certain surgeries so that he could be out of town for as long as he needed.

I'll explore a world of sorrow

Cause when I find you I know, I know I'ma be okay

Mark didn't think he'd ever actually experienced heartbreak before unless you counted the death of his grandmother, but that was a very different type of heartbreak. That heartbreak had been unavoidable. He could have stopped Addison leaving. He could have remained loyal to her to convince her that he was worthy of being with her, that he was better than Derek and he had betrayed her instead and it broke his heart, and possibly hers, although he didn't think she had ever truly loved him the way that he loved her.

He knew he had to get her back, Derek would never truly forgive her for the betrayal that had happened, even if his absence had been the primary cause of it. Derek had been absent for the better part of two years and it meant that Mark had spent more time with Addie than Derek had, keeping her company on birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmases, had it been any shock that they had fallen into each other's beds? Honestly, no. Addie made everything better, she made him not want to be a manwhore anymore.

See the times are changing

And I'm sure of nothing that I know

Except this is us, and this is love, and this is where I'm home

Arriving in Seattle, Mark felt as though he was home. Mark, 'lives breathes, and eats New York City', Sloan, felt home. It wasn't because he'd been there before, although he had on several occasions. It was because he knew he was closer to Addie, to the woman that he loved and he would not be leaving again without her. He couldn't lose her again, even if she was no longer having their baby.

Yes, the idea of starting a family together had frightened Mark, but he had grown used to it, started looking forward to being a father, and then she had told him that she didn't want to have a baby with him, that the only baby she wanted to have was Derek's and it had broken him. That was why he had slept with someone else, but in his eyes, it didn't mean that he loved her any less. He loved her with his whole heart if this was what love was. He still wasn't entirely sure, but he had never felt this way before.

In a world that's breaking, where nothing is for keeps

Oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep

This is us, this is love and this is where I sleep

Marks world was broken, it had been since the start of his affair with Addison. He had been broken since the moment he decided to break Derek's trust and sleep with his wife. It had gotten more broken the minute that Derek had found out and then it had shattered when Derek had told his family what had happened. Mark had gone from a large family who cared about him, to only Addison in under a day and it had truly broken him.

And then, as if nothing could get any worse, Addison left. Addison left to chase after the husband who had started an affair in Seattle. After the husband who had been so cruel to her over the last few years. After a man who wasn't him. Mark couldn't let that go, he needed her, because without her he was all alone. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He couldn't do it.

I'm from a generation undecided

I'm restless and I can't help changing lanes

Looking around Seattle-Tacoma 'SeaTac' Airport, Mark debated with just going back to New York. Addie had already had weeks to return to him and she hadn't yet, so did he really stand a chance? There was a chance that when he arrived at the hospital, he would find Derek and Addison back together, stronger than ever, and he wasn't sure that his heart could take that.

Still, he moved through the airport towards the taxi rank, ordering a car to the hotel he had booked, the Archfield, which was apparently the nicest hotel close to Seattle Grace. He debated with finding a bar, having a drink and just treating this as a work trip like he used to, finding a pretty girl to spend the night with. Just ignoring the fact that he came here for Addison, ignoring the Shepherds completely, and pretending that he didn't know they were there before he booked his trip.

But in all the noise and the excitement

Your love is all that will remain

Then he took a look at his phone, at the photos of him and Addie together and how happy they looked. He couldn't be there and not say anything to here. If there was a chance that his feelings were returned, that she had even the slightest bit of love for him, then he couldn't leave her there. He would prove it to her this time, prove that he could be loyal. He wanted to be with her, no matter how much it hurt Derek.

I've said all of my goodbyes to ego

I gambled all I got, there's no plan B

It was true, Mark had no contingency plan. No idea what he'd do if Addison said she wouldn't come back to New York with him. Would he be willing to give up his home for her, to stay in Seattle to pick up the pieces when Derek inevitably broke her heart? Honestly, for her? He thought that he could. He would be the bigger person to show her that he loved her.

He settled himself in the bed at the Archfield, deciding against going to the bar, against pulling some random girl to make him feel better about himself before he saw Addison in the morning, before he saw the man who once considered him a brother, before he made a move that would change his whole life. He let himself fall asleep, although he slept fitfully, anxious for the morning.

It's the first time that I've learnt to let go

It's the only place I feel, only place I feel like me

The next morning, Mark made sure that he was dressed so that he looked his best. His clothing wasn't intended to make him look smart, he didn't need that, credentials speaking for him, but instead to look ruggedly handsome, to remind Addie of what she was missing. He got into a cab to Seattle Grace and moved through the lobby, spotting Addison and Derek and noticing Dereks eyes on a blonde girl who must have been an intern. His dirty mistress? Possibly.

He made his way over to her, peeping over her shoulder at the file before clearing his throat and muttering, "Invasive non-small-cell with a history of COPD. That's pretty much a goner, right?" with his signature smirk. This was going to be fun.

See the times are changing

I'm sure of nothing that I know

Except this is us and this is love, and this is where I'm home

In a world that's breaking, where nothing is for keeps

Oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep

This is us, this is love and this is where I sleep