#I've never been anything else and never will be

[woso-dreamzzz]

Shy

Aitana Bonmatí x Reader

Summary: You still get shy around your girlfriend

The move was a long time in the making.

You bled North London, making your senior debut at just seventeen for Arsenal. You came straight up through the academy with Leah. You eat, lived and slept Arsenal and yet...

Barcelona was where you found yourself now.

They'd been chasing you for years, trying to get your pen on paper. You'd turned them down every time up until now.

It broke your heart to leave Arsenal but it was for the best.

Barcelona got what they wanted, three years of world class defence from you and you got what you wanted, to finally move in with your girlfriend.

Aitana was perfect. You'd met at a friendly years ago and really hit it off. Five years later and you both knew that the long-distance portion of your love was coming to a close.

There wasn't even a question of who was going to move. You may have bled North London but you were happy to trade rainy England for sunny Spain.

It felt a bit like the honeymoon stage again when you could barely keep your hands off of each other. Just a tiny brush of her hand against yours made you feel all tingly inside and you kept smiling at her like a loon, unable to wipe it off your face.

"You're disgusting," Lucy commented as you sat in the break room, head propped up on your fist as you stared longingly across the room," I've never met anyone more smitten before. You know you live with her, right? It's not too scary to talk to her, I hope."

You looked down bashfully, cheeks aflame.

Lucy had been leading the charge on teasing you about Aitana. You couldn't help that your girlfriend still made you feel like a blushing school girl.

"She's busy. I don't want to interrupt her," You replied, turning away to try and hide your embarrassment."

"Busy," Keira scoffed," She's talking to Mapi and Ingrid. That's hardly busy."

"They're having a conversation. People shouldn't invite themselves into conversations. It's rude."

"So you're just going to pine from afar?" Lucy laughed. She reached forward and pinched your cheek, ruffling your hair when you forcefully pulled away. "God, what are you twelve?"

You had a retort on the tip of your tongue but it died instantly when Aitana turned around.

She smiled at you and waved.

You waved back and looked down bashfully.

Lucy made gagging noises.

"Leave me alone!" You complained," Can't you go and bother someone else?"

"But you make it so easy." She flicked you away with her hand. "Go on then, lover girl. Try not to just stare and dribble down your top."

You flipped her off as you went, ignoring the way Keira was making kissy faces behind your back.

"Hi," You said softly, hyper aware of the red sheen to your cheeks.

"Hi," Aitana said back, patting the spot next to her.

You sat and moved to rest your head on her shoulder while Aitana's hand immediately gripped yours, lacing your fingers together tightly.

"You two are so gross," Mapi said," You're like little kids on their first date."

Unlike with Lucy, you didn't feel confident enough to argue with Mapi. You'd played on the national team with Lucy for years. You knew how to deal with her but, with Aitana's teammates, you felt it was probably better to just stay silent and not make eye contact.

"Just because we still have chemistry doesn't mean it's a personal attack on you," Aitana replied.

Her thumb gently stroked circles on your hand as she spoke and you melted into a pile of goo then and there.

"Me and Ingrid still have chemistry!" Mapi insisted," Just because we're not pushing our PDA on everybody doesn't mean we don't! You're like horny teenagers."

The permanent blush on your face only got deeper and you tried to hide your face in Aitana's shoulder.

"Look at her!" Mapi continued," She's like a pile of mush!"

"I'm still here," You muttered," I can hear you."

"Are you sure?" Mapi teased," I mean, can you really focus on anything apart from Aitana? God, you both make me feel sick. You're disgustingly in love."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Aitana looked proud at the comparison, puffing out her chest in a way that made your cheeks burn brighter. She dropped a kiss to one of them, nice and firm and you slouched a bit lower in your seat when you accidentally caught Mapi's eye.

"I mean, what are you doing to the poor girl?" She laughed," She looks like a tomato!"

"She's just shy," Aitana said," And that's fine! I love her like this."

You pressed a soft kiss to her neck and whispered for her ears only," I love you too."

[paulgadzikowski]

My brother once asked me, because his therapist had once asked him, what I would want from our father to help heal the trauma from his abuse. He said his answer had been to get an apology, and he said it actually happened once, though my brother conceded that it wasn't a real apology and was therefore more of a new transgression. I answered him:

'In this world I don't believe it can get better than it's been since our October 2017 message exchange with Dad's "pissing contests" message [in response to my initial notice of having worked out how abusive he is, the most important thing I ever told him]. Not our February 2017 exchange with his mock apology - after that one I thought for awhile we'd reached an equilibrium I could bear wherein I would avoid further confrontation forever while also avoiding him forever; but actually I needed the closure of informing Dad how he stands with me, because avoiding that kind of confrontation is exactly what I can't bear about his way. This confrontation [the one I needed for closure] happened in the October 2017 exchange. The closure in the hand is worth twice the closure in the mist.'

My brother returned that he didn't think I'd answered the question, so I elaborated:

'I wished for the same thing as you did, and then I got the same thing as you did instead. Dad asked me "Fill me in", and I answered him my need was for him to engage with me, and he responded to my answer with what I call the mock apology as if my answer hadn't happened. I immediately became unable to wish or hope for better for I saw the fruitlessness of wishing or hoping for better. With this, the last vestiges of my capacity for allowing him his fantasy, what I call the imaginary Paul, were demolished but when I tell him any of this he calls it "pissing contests" or a "filter that sifts my words". I'd never have thought Dad could have a more able imagination about anything while mine had failed but here we are. I've always called the mock apology mind-boggling and truly it was. I can no longer bring myself even to imagine or wish for a genuine apology from Dad hypothetically or ideally because I was so violently disillusioned when I explicitly requested engagement in answering Dad's explicit request for feedback. After the effort he put me through to get this far, I can't even be sorry that I can't wish for better. I don't have another answer for you. The best I can do is wish for Dad the closure I have.'

Some months later I had occasion to add, in answer to a new development between Dad and someone else:

'I … don't [wish things were different]. I can't wish things were different. For me and Dad to reconcile (any other way than for me to, just, return with[in] range to allow him to resume his trespasses against me, which I can no longer bear, which is why I moved out of range) would require Dad to change his behavior sufficiently to constitute becoming an entirely different person. Wishing someone else to be an entirely different person is his crime against me and I won't do it to him. I can't, not even momentarily for therapeutic purposes. I've written this to both of you before, years ago, but I've thought lately I should have repeated it last January to have been clearer when you, Mark, asked me what happy resolution to the conflict I would wish for. I answered I could wish for no more than that Dad find closure with the new status quo as I have, but if I'd also repeated this then I think I would have been clearer.'

My point is yes, you must stop going to the hardware store for oranges or, possibly, even for hardware. I did.

[thewidowsledger]

Good Luck, Babe

Chapter 4: A Piece Of You | 4.0k

© thewidowsledger - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: The once secret, a forbidden love hidden from the world. Those stolen moments together had been thrilling, but ultimately, drove the person you truly love away from you. But when she left, she didn't just leave you; she also left you a part of herself that would constantly remind you of her for the rest of your life. This fragment of her essence became an indelible mark on your soul, shaping the course of your life in ways you never could have imagined.

You know what they say, when someone leaves, someone else will come.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Tags | Warnings: +18 ANGST, cheating, smoking, smut but it was kind of cut off so it's just smu— pls laugh guys

Author's Note: This is about to get ANGSTIER. Nat's pain is valid but is her actions justifiable? Does r deserve all that? Pls pls pls I want to have y'all's thoughts, leave it in my inbox or in the comments or else I will not continue writing this jk i'm not joking. I removed some parts here that I think would be a better use on the next chapter that will be posted in 3 weeks (I know it's gonna be a long wait, but I've got to update the mob boss au and I've got to serve some angst fics for y'all)

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⧗

You're leaning over the counter, trying to read and sign the slip for Aliah's exams. You're terrible right now, you didn't realize how private schools can be so complicated that you have to sign a permission slip before they let your daughter take an exam. Suddenly, someone peers over your shoulder.

"You don't even know what you're signing, do you?"

This bitch.

You didn't look entirely at the woman but you saw her in your peripheral vision. You returned your focus on filling up whatever paper you are filling up.

But suddenly the woman leans in closer, her musky perfume overwhelming your senses. She effortlessly points out the correct line, her long fingers tapping the paper. "Is your child a transferee?" she asked and you nodded nervously.

"Check that one, then don't write anything down here." You gulped and nodded before shakingly dragging your hands to do whatever she just said.

When everything was signed, you double checked to make sure to get everything right this time. You push it towards the clerk, who scans it quickly. "All done, Mrs. Romanoff," she says with a smile.

"Romanoff." You heard the woman behind you whisper. You finally turn to face her, your heart racing as you meet her gaze.

The woman stands tall, her blonde hair cut short and stylish, framing her square-shaped face. She's dressed in a black leather jacket, paired with jeans and combat boots, giving her an edgy, intimidating look. She holds your gaze for a moment longer before her gaze flickers to the wedding ring still on your finger. Her expression shifts slightly, becoming more calculated. "So, you're the wife of one of the big sponsors of this school? Natasha Romanoff?" She asks the question almost casually, but there's an underlying intensity in her tone. "The transportation tycoon?"

The mention of her name and the title made you feel a pang of discomfort. The word wife and the title of being Mrs. Romanoff suddenly feels like ill-fitting suits. Your marriage, after all, had been little more than a convenient arrangement—for your daughter. So you are not sure whether to confirm or not, so you just let out a small awkward smile hoping that she won't budge further about her question. And the blonde seemed to read between the lines that theories started to formulate in her mind. She was about to formally introduce herself when she saw a kid running towards your direction.

"Mommy!" She watched you scoop up a little girl that clearly is yours, giggling as you attacked her face with kisses.

Behind her was another girl, it was the blonde's niece, catching up. "Auntie!" The little girl waves, her gap-toothed smile wide. "Up!"

Without missing a beat, the blonde reaches down and scoops up the kid, tossing her playfully into the air before catching her. The kid squeals with delight. "Hey, monkey face," she says, ruffling the girl's curly hair. Then her kid glances at Aliah who was in your arms.

She grins, her eyes bright. "Auntie, this is my new friend, Aliah!" she announces proudly. You turned around so you and your daughter could face them together, then Aliah looked at the woman who was carrying her friend, her little hands waving with a grin.

Now, it's your daughter's turn to introduce her newfound friend to you, "Mommy, this is Monica!"

"Hi, Monica."

The blonde watches as you speak to Monica. She's mesmerized by the way you interact with the children, so gentle and natural. Monica giggles at your greeting, "Hi!" she chirps back, climbing down to her aunties grasp.

Aliah wriggles out of your arms, wanting to join Monica on the floor. The two girls run off together, laughing and chattering excitedly. Now, you're left standing alone with the blonde again. She clears her throat nervously, a slight flush creeping up her neck, "I hope I didn't overwhelm you with my question a while back."

You shake your head with a warm smile, waving off her apology with a casual flick of your wrist. "O-oh, no worries." Your voice is sincere, as you pull the strawberry shortcake trolley bag of your daughter towards you.

Over the years, even when Aliah wasn't transferred at this school, you had always been present and active—you're always there, quietly observing, helping when needed, but never seeking the spotlight or engaging in small talk with other parents.

You glance around the hallway, taking in the other parents chatting and laughing in small groups. This is unfamiliar territory for you. Despite your active involvement in Aliah's school life, you've managed to maintain a certain level of privacy, keeping to yourself and avoiding unnecessary interactions with others as much as possible. Especially now, being in this marriage under the convenience of your daughter and being in this new school, it has only reinforced your desire for privacy. You don't want others knowing your personal business.

"So, how is…your daughter adjusting?" her question pulled you out of your trance.

"She's doing well and she seemed to be adjusting quickly." You respond briefly, keeping your answer vague but positive. You don't elaborate further, not wanting to delve deeper into Aliah's personal life or yours and invite more questions. She seems genuinely nice. She's not trying to pry in a malicious way—she's just being friendly. But your private nature won't allow you to relax and chat casually like the others.

"That's good."

After the painfully awkward silence, there was a sudden impact of the ball against the blonde's head that made your lips twitch despite your usual guarded expression. She stumbles slightly from the impact "Oh my..." she mutters, rubbing her head.

"S-sorry…" you bashfully stuttered as she saw you trying to hold your laughter back.

But what you didn't know is that she smiles victoriously, pleased to have finally seen a crack on you. Then, she traps the ball between her feet skillfully, making you raise an eyebrow. She looks your way, catching your surprised expression. She smirks slightly, then kicks the ball high up in the air, sending it back to the students with perfect aim and unexpected strength.

"Show off." You murmured to yourself.

She overhears your quiet comment, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. She adjusts the strap of her niece's bag, feigning ignorance but purposefully stepping closer to you. "Did you say something?" she asks teasingly, obviously enjoying your rare slip of emotion.

"N-no…" You giggled softly, you looked at her and she smiled.

"I should've introduced myself earlier but yeah, I'm Carol. Monica's aunt." She lends her hand over you.

"I-I'm Y/N…Aliah's mommy." Your small, hesitant hand disappears into her larger, calloused one.

She grins widely at your soft-spoken introduction. "Nice to meet you, Y/N." She smiled, gently releasing your hand. "So…I'll see you around?"

You didn't answer, your attention to her was long gone after you saw your daughter running towards your direction. You then fixed her trolley bag and prepared to leave.

Carol can only watch you and your daughter walk away, an unknowing smile playing on her lips. Then, all of a sudden a ball comes flying out of nowhere and hits her square in the back of the head again. She stumbles forward, letting out a loud "Ow!" and a string of curses under her breath.

"I'm not a fucking soccer goal net!"

"Auntie Carol, you said bad words!"

⧗

In the dining room, you and Aliah sit at the table, enjoying a quiet dinner together. Aliah chatters excitedly about her day, telling you all about the kids she played with and the games they played. You listen attentively, smiling at her enthusiasm, occasionally asking follow-up questions. You also made sure to ask her if someone or something is making her feel uncomfortable, it is a small routine you do with her to make sure she is comfortable and safe in school.

Aliah suddenly stops eating, her brow furrowing. She looks down at her plate, pushing her food around with her fork. You watch her carefully, knowing that look. She lifts her big, brown eyes to meet yours. "Where's Mama?"

As if on cue, her Aunt Yelena walked in the dining room. Aliah instantly perks up and slides out of her chair to run to her great-aunt's open arms.

"Yeye!"

"Hey, baby!" She scooped the small child onto her arms and put her back to her chair. "Finish your food, I have a surprise."

"Hi, Yelena. I cooked pasta, I'll get you some."

She couldn't decline as you were already walking to get her a plate, so she sat down beside your daughter kissing her forehead.

You placed the plate of pasta in front of her, "Thank you, Y/N." She smiles at you, her eyes meeting yours briefly before she focuses back on her food. "Mmm, this is really good," she says between bites.

All of a sudden, Aliah pipes up, her voice loud. "Mama!" She whines, looking around the room. Yelena sets her fork down, realizing the absence of her sister during dinner. "Yeah? Where's Natasha?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

You immediately recognize the tone in Aliah's voice—that slightly higher pitch whine that signals a tantrum incoming. You kept your voice calm and soothing, "I'll get Natasha. Sounds like someone wants her. Rick told me she just got home an hour ago but he also said that she has an important meeting right now, but I'll check."

Walking out of the kitchen, you run your fingers through your dark hair, glancing sideways at the large picture frame hanging in the hallway. You catch your reflection—you lean in to see if your make up was still on.

As you near her office, you subtly adjust your blouse, smoothing out the wrinkles. Then, you push open the heavy door of Natasha's office carefully, you peeked inside, your eyes immediately drawn to her, seated in her high-back leather chair, facing away from the doorway. There was a head peeking through her desk. Clearly, a woman with wavy red hair was kneeling in front of her. You notice the absence of Natasha's wedding ring on her finger as she's tied the red-haired woman's hair with her tight grip. Natasha moans softly, tilting her head back, exposing her neck.

You were too shocked, too frozen, too numb to feel the tear that slid down your cheek.

Slowly and quietly, you pull the door closed, careful not to make a sound. Your heart pounds in your chest as you stand in the hallway, that single tear now joined by others streaming down your face. The shock and pain of the scene you just witnessed hit you like a physical blow. Your stomach churns and you feel the sudden urge to throw up. The room spins and you grab onto the wall to steady yourself, trying not to pass out from the overwhelming dizziness that washes over you. You inhale deeply through your nose, counting to four in your head, then exhale slowly through your mouth, counting to four again, like how your therapist taught you. You repeat this pattern, trying to calm your racing heart and clear your mind, fighting the panic attack that threatens to consume you.

"You're okay, you're okay, Y/N. You're fine. You're okay." You chanted over and over as you wiped the tears off your face.

You manage to pull yourself together and walk back to the dining room, putting on a brave face. Yelena looks at you suspiciously, your puffy eyes didn't go unnoticed by her.

"Baby, m-mama is in a very important meeting. Okay?" The blonde also noticed how your voice almost cracked as you spoke. Your daughter who is oblivious to the turmoil within you, behaves angelically as she finishes her food. The threat to tantrum was long gone. "Yelena? C-can you put Aliah to bed tonight? I've got…some things to do." You asked her hesitantly.

Yelena's eyes soften with worry, obviously noticing how uncharacteristically gentle and strained your voice is. Without a word about your eyes or voice, she simply responds, "Sure," flashing a small smile.

She also made sure to pay a visit on her sister's meeting tonight.

⧗

You retreat to your room, walking towards your large cabinets, you abruptly open your one of the drawers, grabbing the pack of marlboro red. Your fingers hover over them as you wrestle with temptation. Your hand trembles slightly, knowing the instant relief those chemicals could provide right now. The tightness in your chest, the dull ache from holding everything in…

It's an unhealthy habit that you've been using as a coping mechanism at the same time, it is an unhealthy habit you're trying to get yourself out with.

"Fuck," you whisper, unconsciously unrolling the pack's wrapper.

The cigarette trembles slightly between your fingers as you light it. The smoke curls up around your face, mirroring the storm brewing in your eyes. You sit on your bed, staring at nothing, the self-loathing growing heavier with each puff.

You took your wedding ring off your finger, you tried not to let the dam of tears break from your eyes as you examined the ring.

Everything's becoming clear to you now.

A dark voice in your head begins to whisper, planting seeds of self-doubt and guilt. You hurt her, destroyed her. Therefore, you deserve this pain, you deserve every pain she gives you. You're not good enough, never were. Your mind continues to whisper poisonous thoughts. You took a deep drag of the cigarette, the smoke burning your lungs like the guilt burning your soul. "This is karma," you told yourself. "You deserve every bit of her hate…"

A flicker of memory flashes before your eyes—the early days with Natasha, the sneaking together, the way she would sing for you in the middle of the night whenever your heart is heavy after a loss, whatever tournament you had joined. Your heart aches at the bittersweet nostalgia, the knowledge that you threw all that away because you were a fucking coward.

You stood and walked out onto the terrace, the night air enveloping you like a cold blanket. You took a long drag before exhaling slowly, watching the smoke dissipate on the icy breeze. The nicotine buzz barely touches the edges of your pain, but it's something. "She always hated these fucking things," you murmur, half-smile tinged with bitter irony.

You were about to get another cigarette when you saw your daughter, huddled in the doorway, her face streaked with tears, sniffling.

You froze on the spot and cursed yourself, you immediately stubbed out the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, trying to make the smell and the smoke go away, but it's too late—she started wailing loudly, her tiny fists balling up as she cried. You've taken to hiding in the bathroom or stepping outside when you need a cigarette, not letting your daughter see or even inhale the smell of smoke because she hates it and you would never have your daughter breathe it. You genuinely think you're being stealthy. But it seems like every time you would light up a cigarette, your daughter would immediately know.

Seeing how it affects your little one's purity and innocence makes you feel guilty.

"You pwomise you stop smoke!" Aliah cried out loud. You carefully walked towards her, without warning, she ran towards your bed grabbing your pillow and heaved it towards you with all her might, her small arms flailing.

Getting down on your knees so you're at her eye level, you watch her tiny form trembling with emotion as she throws every pillow she can reach in your direction. "Shh, Ali...mommy's sorry..." Your voice trembled, but she continued. You took every hit of the pillow from your daughter.

You hated making Aliah cry, you hated hurting Natasha. You hated yourself causing them this.

Everything's too much, it's too much. You feel every pain physically now.

Suddenly, you crumbled to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. "Mommy's…just hurt." Your voice breaks as tears pour down your face and fall on the pillows scattered in front of you. "I'm so sorry baby, please forgive mommy…"

As you break down in sobs, your daughter suddenly stops throwing pillows and stares at you with a frown.

"Hurt, mommy is hurt," you sobbed each word as you pointed to your heart, her little brow furrows even more. She's seen you do this before when you're sad or upset.

She walked towards you, throwing the pillows back on your bed. Then, she climbs onto your lap, wrapping her tiny arms around your neck. "Mommy hurt?" Through your sobs, you nod gently, holding her close. Her soft baby scent fills your nostrils, the smell of cigarettes long gone. And you realize how much you're hurting not just yourself, but this innocent soul who depends entirely on you. She placed her ear on your chest, a thing she grew up doing to ensure your heart is still beating whenever you tell her something hurt.

"Mommy's hurting...bad..."

And you deserve all of it.

⧗

"How many hours have you been sucking her?"

"Fucking hell, Yelena!" Natasha yelled, she pushed her office chair back and zipped her pants up.

"Out. Now." Yelena's voice brooks no argument, and the woman quickly scrambles to her feet, fleeing the room without another word. Natasha could only huff in embarrassment.

"That door is fucking closed for a reason."

"Well, it's unlocked, it seems like you wanted everyone to see the meeting you're doing here."

Natasha rolled her eyes as she moved to the nearby cabinet, pulling out a bottle of expensive red wine and a single glass. She pours herself a generous amount, her hand steady despite the tension in the room.

"Did you at least finish your meeting, sestra?" Yelena emphasizes the word 'finish' with heavy sarcasm. Natasha's jaw clenches visibly at Yelena's insinuation, her hands tightening around the wine glass. Without offering any to Yelena, she takes a long sip, still avoiding her sister's gaze.

"So this is your plan?" Yelena started again but her sister didn't bother to look. "Make her miserable?"

Now she got her sister's attention.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She murmured.

"I should've realized it." Yelena's laughter is sharp and devoid of any warmth, a bitter sound that fills the room.

"Can you…can you go?" Natasha irritatingly spat at Yelena without looking at her.

"Asking her to marry you, I thought you wanted a fresh start, sestra…"

"Watch your mouth." Natasha warned her sister, her pointed finger hanging in the air while the glass of wine was still in her hand.

But Yelena seemed unfazed by her sister's threat. "But I didn't realize…"

"Shut up!"

"That you just want to make her watch as you fuck some communal pussy with her wearing that wedding ring you put on her while you don't wear yours!"

"Fucking shut up!" Natasha hurls the wine glass across the room, missing Yelena by mere inches. The glass shatters against the wall, the sound echoing through the space. Yelena, however, remains eerily calm, not even flinching at the near miss.

She let out a deep sigh, shaking her head disappointingly. "Why are you doing this, Natasha? You've got so many options and money! You could've taken Aliah from her if that's the only thing you want! You can pay for better lawyers than her, you could've won custody!"

Natasha's jaw clenched as she tries to suppress her emotions once again. She takes a shuddering breath, attempting to regain her composure and stave off the spiral of anger and defensiveness threatening to consume her once again.

"But that's not what you really want don't you?" Her sister continues, Natasha finally meets her eye to eye. "Are you happy watching her go miserable? Kneel the ground you walk on just to earn that forgiveness from you?"

"She deserves it."

Yelena huffed about how unbelievably heartless her sister is right now. "I watched you fall apart over her. And now...now you're tearing her apart piece by piece." Yelena's voice breaks slightly. "I understand your pain, Natasha. I truly do, you're my sister. I held you through the darkest parts of it. But this...this is different. This is you actively choosing to hurt her, to break her."

"She deserves it." Natasha repeated coldly under her breath.

"Yeah, sure, Natasha. Whatever you say." Yelena was getting tired. "You're right, Y/N deserves all the pain you give her, sure. But does your daughter deserve that too? Because let's be real, you're not just hurting her, you're hurting your daughter too."

⧗

You tucked Aliah back to sleep. You made sure to change her clothes, making sure the fresh scent of soap and fabric softener replaces the lingering aroma of cigarette that clings to her skin. You smooth Aliah's hair, you wipe away the last of your tears. Her eyes flutter closed finally, her breath evening out into the rhythm of innocent sleep. You gently adjust her blankets, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before stepping back, your own eyes damp with residual emotion.

"I love you my Iyah."

You carefully extract yourself from Aliah's room, then go straight to your room. The first thing you did was take the hidden cigarettes from their usual hiding spots. Cracking open the window for fresh air, you aggressively grind each cigarette beneath your slippers, tossing the broken remnants into the trash.

You're not physically addicted, but cigarettes have become a crutch, a coping mechanism for the pain—when something hurts. The memory where you saw Natasha and a woman who was doing god knows what kneeling under her made your throat itch wanting some relief. But the memory of your daughter's face, her little sniffles seeing you take a long drag and inhale a smoke made your body physically flinch. That will be the last, you will not make your daughter cry again, you will not hurt her with a fucking nicotine stick. She deserves better than a damn smoker of a mom.

You straighten the rumpled bed sheets, placing the pillows Aliah had thrown at you back neatly against the headboard. Suddenly, there was a knock on your door, then, the doorknob aggressively rattled. You were about to get it when suddenly it creaked open and you saw Natasha in her disheveled state.

"N-Natasha…" your voice quivered, she is the last person you would expect to go to your room right now.

She towers over you, her tall frame blocking the light from your room. You step back instinctively, she breathes heavily in your face, the scent of alcohol, the scent of another woman in her skin are burning your nostrils. Her face is completely expressionless, almost scary in its neutrality. The lack of emotion makes her features somehow sharper, more intense.

You're frozen, shock rendering you unable to process the situation. Your mind is reeling, you are still trying to move on and forgive her from what you saw earlier—her and a red haired woman, their intimate pose burned into your retinas. And now, she's here, in your room, drunk and cold.

"Nat…what-what do you want?" She doesn't answer your question, her droopy eyes dropped down to your blouse. Your body trembled as she slowly, deliberately unbuttons each button.

You didn't resist, fear rooting you in place. Your mind is screaming at you to push her away, to run, but your body refuses to cooperate. Tears well up in your eyes as she slowly pushes your blouse off your shoulders, leaving you in just your lacy bra. Natasha leans in close, inhaling deeply at your neck as if trying to consume your scent. You smelled like marlboro red. Her lips brush your skin, sending involuntary shivers down your spine. She shoves you to your bed before crawling on top of you. Then she almost ripped your bra that is solely covering your upper body, exposing your breasts. She's not gentle, not sweet. She's cold, hungry—an animal. She sucks harshly on one nipple while pinching the other. You hissed, your body arching in pleasure.

It is twisted, you just saw her with another woman but now, you're letting her take you like this—no words, no tenderness. She's a force of nature, teeth grazing on your skin, fingers digging into your flesh. She's using you, taking what she needs, and you're letting her. At least it's you that she needs right now, right?

A tear rolls down your cheek, your hands reaching the back of her head as her mouth continues to attack your body.

It's better to have her like this, than none at all.

[harryhighkey]

"i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

i've been seeing things based around this everywhere rn and to me it is SO in-ho coded, he loves to look after his girl!!!!!!!!!!! so here are headcanons for fem!reader x in-ho/frontman/player 001/young-il based around the idea of: "i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

-----

car door:

this is the most obvious one, and it's every. single. time. whenever you two are headed towards the car and get closer, he speeds up his last few steps and reaches for your door before you have the chance. as you get in, he places his hand on your back and makes sure you're safely inside before he shuts it for you. there was literally one time when you beat him to it because you wanted to know what he would do and he was genuinely pissed off in the car while you couldn't stop laughing. that pissed him off more. "you're being so overdramatic." you teased him between giggles. "you'll pay for this when we get home."

suitcase:

you two often find yourselves with suitcases, going from your home to the island. each time you tell in-ho, "no, i can carry it!" as you try to keep a strong grip on the handle, determined not to let him take it off you this time. and each time he rolls his eyes, "i know, but i've got it." and he takes your hand off the handle, replacing it with his and wheeling it away before you can fight him on it any longer.

opening a jar:

this is one he has to actively catch you struggling to do it in order to help you with it, because you refuse to ask for help with this. this is something you believe you should be able to open on your own. "fucking hell." you'd curse. "hand it over, pottymouth." he'd quietly been watching you, trying not to laugh. "no, i don't even feel like it anymore." you'd stubbornly put the jar away with a huff. "sure, baby." in-ho would laugh, making a mental note to loosen the jar when you weren't looking.

holding the umbrella:

"ugh, i hate the rain." you say in your whiny voice, especially if you're caught out in it. in-ho knows all too well how getting wet (from the rain that is) annoys you, because you let it be known every time it rains. with a smile on his face, he extends the umbrella and pulls you in close, you latch onto his arm with both of yours, but he always makes sure that the majority of the umbrella is covering you. he dots a kiss to your cheek, trying to get that grumpy expression off your face. "this is the only time i like to keep you dry."

filling up your water bottle:

he'd never met someone so attached to a water bottle before. because you were always sipping on it, he'd come to learn how it sounded when it was almost empty. he'd also come to learn that when it was empty you couldn't really concentrate on anything else except how thirsty you were. of course that was psychological, you'd just had a bottle of water. but you didn't like it when he said things like that. so now when he would hear it nearing empty, he was quick to grab it and fill it up. if he happens to walk past it and you're not there, he'll pick it up and give it a shake to see if it needs a refill, too.

blow drying your hair:

you both love this. your arms always get tired when you do it, but you hate to go to bed with wet hair. in-ho is an observer, and he'd watch you as you did it. seeing you sigh and drop your arms to take mini breaks, by the third time watching you blow dry it, he decided it was time to step in. "here, give it to me." he held out his hand. "oh, no. it's okay, i'll finish it, i'm just resting my arms for a sec." you told him with a smile. "i'll finish it for you." you handed him the blow dryer and he went to work. you'd smile at him in the mirror, not sure how you got so lucky.

[dukeofankh]

So folks, I've been seeing this take a LOT, and like...no! This is yet another one of the conspiracy theories that the left apparently does now. Fucking stop it. Read an actual news source even once. Even once. Please.

What happened was that Trump super fucking hates China. Has for decades. And at this point, the whole American government does basically, Republicans and Democrats, because they're not just a third world country they can outsource labour to anymore. They're actually on the verge of becoming the largest economy on the planet. And Amewica is having a tantwum because they don't want to stop being the very specialest boy.

Trump tried to ban Tiktok outright with an executive order back during his *first* presidency. It failed, because that's not actually within his legal powers as president. The bill to ban Tiktok was written and passed during Bidens Presidency, with broad bipartisan support. Like. This bill passed 352-65. 155 of those yes votes were Democrats. Do you think 155 Democrats are actually secret Donald Trump double agents? Or did you just do zero fucking research and reblog a conspiracy theory?

Why is it so unilaterally popular? Because American Imperialism is a bipartisan project. Which is also why neither party is interested in stopping the genocide in Gaza. And make no mistake, the fact that support for Palestine is largely coming from Tiktok is at least part of why it's getting banned. Mitt Romney said that outright. Yeah. I know, everyone here is reposting fundraisers and stuff, but in terms of users, Tumblr is a fucking postage stamp. Tiktok is gigantic. It is significantly more responsible for the shift in American citizens' response to Gaza. And when the United CEO got shot and they saw how the Internet responded...I mean. If anyone was on the fence in the halls of power, that made everyone double down hard.

The second factor is just who else was at the Trump inauguration. Zuckerberg. Musk. Pichai (the Google CEO). You know. The social media owners Tiktok is beating. They are bending the knee. Kissing the ring, and their businesses are all based in America, and not dirty stupid China, who shouldn't even be this good, they're not this good, America is the only good country, if they don't want to be American then what's their ulterior motive???

Whew. Sorry. I was temporarily possessed by the spirit of mommy's very special boy. Anyway. Most of them want to buy Tiktok so fucking hard.

Because the thing is... This has never actually been a straightforward ban. The law is that they have to sell the company to Americans. So they can keep being the specialest boys. There's good reason to believe that nobody passing the bill ever thought Tiktok would go dark. They figured the company would cave, everyone would still get to keep using it, they could say that since it's American companies stealing and selling your data, the problem is solved, and they could pressure whoever owns it now to tweak the algorithms a bit to show a bit more Tianmen Square and a bit less Gaza. But Bytedance called their bluff, and shut down the app. The US Government didn't block the IP or anything, they just banned the app stores from selling or updating it. It was going to slowly become broken and obsolete, an unusuable icon that gen Zers could show off on their phones as a badge that they were there, man. But Bytedance knew that would be a lot less visible and motivating than a hard stop, so they did that.

...but why the fuck did Trump undo it less than a day later? It was his fucking idea in the first place! It's pretty fucking simple actually. He got pretty good numbers with young people in November and he believes it's because clips of him kept going viral on Tiktok. Thats it. The man has the memory of a goldfish and only cares about himself.

So that's why he cancelled the ban? Here's the fun thing.

Tiktok is still banned.

You cannot download Tiktok in the States right now. Trumps executive order halting a law passed by Congress is generally agreed to be pretty much illegal, there are massive, MASSIVE fines for anyone offering Tiktok for download or update. All Trump did was say "I will not enforce this law for 75 days." Which to be clear, is also not within his legal powers as president. Bytedance thanked him personally in the "welcome back" message, both because they're kissing the ring like everyone else to get on the good side of this erratic dictator, and because the literal only thing keeping them going in the States right now is that erratic dictators personal goodwill, and his personal "the law doesn't apply to me" aura.

As it stands, Trump is trying to broker a deal where Bytedance would maintain partial ownership. Will that work? I dunno. But the ban is still on folks. It's not a stunt. It's a clusterfuck of Sinophobia, American Imperialism, Trump constantly breaking the law, the Democrats also being evil and terrible at their jobs...it's got it all. But it definitely isn't a conspiracy. That would require competence.

and the crowd isn't surprised. i hate it here.

[comesatimecomesashadow]

Hey hey! Could i request a shadow x college student who took him in and try’s to encourage him to be more outgoing/friendly with the others? I keep thinking about how cute it would be to sorta babysit the whole bunch for Maddie and Tom, and Shadow get roped into the friendship. He deserves the best support system☹️❤️!!

tonight, tonight *ೃ༄

pairing *ೃ༄ shadow the hedgehog x reader [can be read as platonic or romantic]

fic type *ೃ༄ one-shot, reverse-comfort

cw *ೃ༄ nothing !

summary *ೃ༄ you help shadow come out of his shell.

note *ೃ༄ sorry this took so long anon! i've been busy these past couple weeks.. | I had fun writing this especially after watching sonic 3, he deserves the world !!!

masterlist *ೃ༄

   Being a college student was no easy feat. Assignments and deadlines filled up your time and often left you feeling burnt out, but you always managed to pull through. If there was anything you’d learned from being at school for this long, it was that you couldn’t give up because you’d always make it in the end anyway. It was just the process of getting there that you hated. 

   Shadow was about the only one who could allow you to escape the stressful confines of your dorm. You had met him on one of your nightly walks to de-stress after the hectic events of the day. Hour-long lectures and energy drinks for breakfast weren’t exactly the most desirable position to be in. As you were planning out your week, calculating how much time each assignment needed and what instructions were given, you bumped into an unfamiliar creature : A Hedgehog. 

   It struck you as a peculiar happenstance, given that he was on college grounds. He didn’t seem like he was a student. Of course, you could have just ignored him and went on with your night, but something in you wouldn’t let you. Since that day, the two of you have been inseparable. You weren’t exactly startled by his existence given that before you met him, Tom and Maddie asked you to ‘babysit’ Sonic and the others while they went out. Though your schedule was a bit stressful because of your college work, you always accepted. 

   And now, since Shadow had become part of your life, he sometimes tagged along when you went over to the Wachowski residence. Sonic, Knuckles and Tails behaved fairly well for the most part (you were thankful for that), but there was always one thing that nagged at you : your black and red quilled hedgehog friend who always seemed to be off in his own world despite being in the same room as the others. 

   Shadow had told you about his past after about a year of staying with you, but that didn’t mean you wanted him to feel isolated when everyone else was having fun. You weren’t exactly the best at comfort, but you couldn’t just leave him like that. So you decided to address it before heading over there.

   Shadow was munching on a handful of coffee beans when you entered the kitchen. You were dressed casually and ready to go out. “Shadow,” you spoke as you turned on the stove to boil a bit of water for a cup of coffee. 

   “What is it?” His eyes drifted to you, he was sitting at the small kitchen table. Your apartment wasn’t big but it was something at least. Shadow was grateful. 

   “Do you want a cup of coffee?” You asked while you leaned on the counter, your arms crossed. You weren’t sure how to approach it, you couldn’t exactly just tell him to socialize. In your experience, that never worked on you so it definitely wouldn’t work on him. So how..? 

   “Yes, I’d appreciate that.” Shadow nodded and kept eating away at his coffee beans. You’d gotten used to his short answers but sometimes, they weren’t the best for serious conversations like these. 

   “Are you going to come with me to Maddie’s?” you inquired, your voice a little softer than usual. 

   Shadow nodded, “Yes, I will be accompanying you tonight. Someone has got to keep those dimwits in check.” You chuckled at his insults and a small smile tugged at your lips. The time wasn't right, it felt too abrupt to just bring it up out of nowhere. So you made a note to bring it up later, at the right moment. After a cup of coffee with your hedgehog companion, the two of you were off to the Wachowski household. 

   The afternoon was calm. It was accompanied with the soft caresses of the wind and the warm beams of sunlight. You knocked on the door and waited for an answer, continuing your conversation with Shadow until Maddie answered the door. 

   “You’re right on time, come on in!” Maddie greeted, opening the door to let the two of you in. You thanked her and greeted the ever-energetic hedgehog who whizzed up in front of you in a matter of seconds. 

   “We’ll be back around ten-thirty, alright?” Tom told you. You nodded, “Yep, I promise to keep everyone on their best behavior.” The couple smiled in acknowledgement and told Sonic and the others the usual ‘behave or you’re grounded’ spiel before disappearing into one of Sonic’s rings. 

   “You guys wanna have a movie marathon or board games?” you asked the four of them, Shadow was still at your side with his arms crossed. 

   “How about, Board games first n’ then a movie marathon?” Sonic suggested, his hands on his hips. 

   “That sounds great!” Tails chimed in, “Agreed.” added Knuckles. 

   Sonic went to go get the board games out of the cabinet while everyone else cleared the table, Shadow was quiet as always. “You’re joining right?” 

   “Do you want me to?” Shadow helped you carry some cups to the sink. 

   You nudged him, “I’m asking what you want.” 

   He pondered for a moment. “I am unfamiliar with the games.” He didn’t seem sad about it but a little ..lost? This did not deter you though. 

   “I’ll teach you, I promise it’ll be fun.” you beamed. 

   “.. Are you sure?” Shadow asked, avoiding eye contact. It was a thing he did when he was uncertain of something. But you only nodded and guided his gaze back to you. You knew he was unsure about how the others would react to his participation. 

   “I’m more than sure.” 

   After the table was cleared, there was a mountain of games at the side of the table; Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow and you sat at the surrounding edges of the table, seated on the couch. “Since Shadow’s joining this time,” You began as you reached for the deck of cards on the table. “I was thinking we could play uno first, how's that?” 

   “Shadow’s joining?” Sonic asked with a surprised look on his face, “This’ll be fun.” Shadow only huffed and crossed his arms. Shadow only acted as if the blue hedgehogs remarks meant nothing because on the inside, he was grateful that they weren’t opposed to having him in the game.

   “I look forward to winning against all of you,” said Knuckles while donning a determined expression.

   “That’s ambitious.” said Shadow, “Dream on!” chimed Tails. Everyone seemed pumped and the environment felt warm. You were glad to see Shadow stepping out of his comfort zone. You split the cards while you explained the rules of the game to Shadow as well as the purpose of the different cards. Shadow listened intently and admired your expertise at card-shuffling. 

   “Alright, everyone count if you’ve got seven cards.” you said as you looked through your cards. 

   “Are we betting anything?” Sonic asked playfully. 

   “No, we are not betting anything, this is a game not gambling.” You rolled your eyes, “Plus, I'm a broke college student — the most I can give is like ten bucks.” Sonic and the others laughed at your half-joke. You reached for the deck and turned a card over, a six and the color blue present on the card. 

   After a long round of rock, paper, scissors, it was decided that Tails would start first and it would go clockwise. The game, despite being a practice round, went on for quite a long time — Though that was to be expected, given that it was the five of you who were playing. Tails ended up winning and the night went on smoothly. 

   Shadow was quite competitive and he ended up winning the two rounds afterwards, much to Sonic’s dismay. You were happy to see this side of Shadow, he seldom went out of his way to interact with others. It was your influence on him and your encouraging nature that allowed him to step out of his comfort. 

   It was about eight in the evening when Shadow was helping you make snacks for the movie marathon. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles were bickering over which movie to watch but you didn’t pay much mind to it. “You were great at Uno, I was surprised. It was your first time right?” You mashed the avocados with the mortar and pestle; Everyone had agreed on guacamole as the snack of the night. 

   Shadow nodded in response to your question, “I’m a quick learner, the game was relatively simple.” 

   Shadow added the minced tomatoes into the avocado mix. “I’m proud of you, y’know.” you spoke quietly but your words were warm. It was an exchange just between the two of you. Shadow began chopping up the cilantro as you spoke. “I know it isn’t easy, but I’m proud of you.” 

   His chopping slowed, “.. I’m not a social being, But..” He inhaled slowly before sighing. “Your efforts in encouraging me to engage with others were helpful.” You smiled at his words and listened earnestly, mixing in the ingredients he poured. “Playing board games with everyone today.. It reminded me of Maria.” 

   Your smile was one of understanding as you gazed down at the black hedgehog. He was reserved most of the time, but today he did something he wasn’t usually comfortable with. Your warm nature helped him creep out of his shell and enjoy himself. It helped him remember the lost moments with the person he held dearest to his heart. 

   “I remembered the joy I felt with her.. It was so easy then.” He spoke, a sorrowful smile on his lips. 

   “It might not be easy now, but it isn’t unreachable. Okay?” You washed your hands and dried them before bending down to give him a hug. He let go of the knife and accepted your warm hug. He closed his eyes before enclosing his own arms around you. Even though both of your lives were stressful, he had you and you had him. 

   No matter what, the two of you helped each other up when the other was down. The support you’d given him these past two years — he’d remember it and cherish it. 

   He decided then that he would do the same for you too.

[aventurineswife]

Dear amazing author (you really are! I and my friend have always feast 💜)

If I may request something - may I please request the hugs and assurance, that everything would be alright? For Aventurine, Argenti, general Jing Yuan, Boothill, DHIL / Dan Heng (you may add more, if you want, I'd gladly read it all!)

Not only I, but also my friend has bad period of time... These last two months mainly... :') college in the last year is not funny, ngl...

Thank you sincerely 💜

(also Toki, surprise ;D no matter what would happen, we are strong introverts forever 💜🤭)

We Mend as We Go

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Argenti x Reader, Jing Yuan x Reader, Boothill x Reader, Dan Heng IL x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Vulnerability, Reassurance, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Introspection, Found Family, Slow Burn (implied), Mutual Support.

Warnings: Mentions of Trauma, Burdens of Leadership, Existential Doubt, References to Vengeance and Loss, Themes of Loneliness and Emotional Isolation, Mentions of Past Violence (in Boothill and Dan Heng's parts).

A/N: 😭😭STAWWPPP!! Y'ALL ARE TOO NICE 🧍‍♀️😔, ALSO I can relate with college... It's never fun but neither was school (for me at least) :') enjoy this! ;)

The moon hung high over the city, casting a soft, silvery glow across the balcony where Aventurine stood, his sharp eyes fixed on the distant horizon. Despite his outwardly confident demeanor, there was a deep unease within him tonight, a rare crack in his carefully crafted facade.

You approached him quietly, your footsteps soft on the stone. He didn't turn to look at you, but the subtle shift in his posture told you that he knew you were there. You stopped beside him, taking in the view, before gently reaching out and placing your hand on his shoulder.

Aventurine’s smile was as enigmatic as always, but his eyes—held a flicker of something else: vulnerability. It was fleeting, hidden just beneath the surface, but you had learned to read him, to see past the games and the charming mask.

"Everything’s a gamble, isn't it?" he mused, his voice light, but with an underlying tension. "No matter how many victories I've had, there's always that nagging feeling... What if it all crumbles?"

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him in a tender embrace. He froze at first, caught off guard by the warmth of your presence, before he slowly relaxed, a soft breath escaping his lips.

"Then we'll rebuild it together," you whispered, your voice calm, filled with assurance. "You’re not alone in this. Whatever happens, we’ll face it."

Aventurine stood still for a moment, his heart pounding with an unfamiliar comfort, before he allowed himself to lean into the hug. His arms hesitantly wrapped around you, the gesture more vulnerable than anything he had ever shown.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice softer than usual. "You make the gamble seem worth it."

The night was quiet, the stars shining brightly above the peaceful valley where Argenti had paused in his travels. The weight of his armor felt heavier than usual tonight, as if the burden of his sacred duty pressed down upon him more than ever. He had been wandering for so long, always alone, always with the call of duty at his side. Yet, tonight, there was a crack in the armor of his conviction—a moment of doubt.

You found him sitting on a rock, staring at the night sky with a distant expression, as though lost in thought. Without a word, you sat beside him, the silence between you both comfortable in its familiarity. You didn’t need to ask what was troubling him; you could feel it emanating from him like an unseen weight.

After a few moments, Argenti spoke, his voice quieter than usual, filled with the kind of uncertainty he rarely allowed himself.

"Do you ever wonder if I’m doing the right thing?" he asked, his eyes reflecting the stars above. "I’ve faced so much... I’ve fought countless battles, restored cities, but... is it enough? Am I truly bringing beauty to the world?"

You reached out, gently resting your hand on his, offering him the comfort he often denied himself. Argenti looked at you, his sharp gaze softening as he met your eyes.

"You’re bringing beauty with every step you take," you replied, your voice unwavering. "It’s not about the battles or the victories. It’s about the light you share, the way you inspire others. You don’t have to carry the world alone."

Argenti’s shoulders relaxed, the tension that had built up slowly dissipating as he leaned into your embrace. His armor was cold against your skin, but the warmth between you was enough to melt the doubt away, if only for a moment.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick with gratitude. "It’s a lonely path, but with you, it feels less so."

The evening was calm on the Xianzhou Luofu, a rare stillness settling over the grand halls and corridors. Jing Yuan had long since finished his duties for the day, but the weight of centuries seemed to linger in the quiet moments, especially as he found himself gazing at the stars from his study. His eyes, sharp and calculating, softened as he thought about the future, the past, and the delicate balance he maintained as the General.

You entered the room quietly, approaching him from behind. Jing Yuan didn’t turn, but the slight shift of his posture told you he was aware of your presence. You stepped closer, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, the touch grounding him in the present.

"Jing Yuan," you said softly, "everything will be alright."

He chuckled, a deep, warm sound that seemed to carry the weight of both amusement and something more. "You say that, but you know how fragile peace can be," he remarked, his voice soft with the wisdom of ages. "How long can it last?"

You knelt beside him, your presence a reminder that he was not alone in his struggles. You placed a hand over his, your fingers intertwined with his, and offered him a comforting smile.

"You’ve kept the peace for so long," you said. "You’ve already proven that you can handle whatever comes. But it’s alright to lean on others too. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself."

Jing Yuan’s gaze softened as he looked at you, a rare vulnerability in his eyes. "And will you be here... when the burden feels too much?"

Without a word, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close, offering the kind of reassurance only love and time could bring. Jing Yuan, for all his wisdom and strength, leaned into your embrace, a sigh escaping his lips. He had known countless battles and victories, but in this moment, it was the peace of your presence that soothed him.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice quiet but filled with warmth. "With you, I know everything will be alright."

The cold winds of the galaxy howled through the dim-lit room, the hum of the ship's engine the only sound breaking the silence. Boothill sat by the window, his mechanical hand tracing the outlines of the distant stars. His white hair framed his face, the black streaks almost seeming to shimmer in the faint light. His sharp teeth were barely visible, lips tight, eyes focused on something far beyond the stars—something far beyond the pain he’d been through.

You entered the room quietly, your footsteps soft against the metal floor. You had always known when Boothill needed space, but tonight, something about him seemed different—more distant, like the weight of his past was pulling him under. The bounty on his head grew heavier by the day, and Oswaldo Schneider was still a shadow, always out of reach. His quest for vengeance was endless, and it was slowly consuming him.

Sitting beside him, you placed a gentle hand on his. His cold, metallic fingers trembled slightly under your touch, a sign of just how much his humanity was still alive beneath the hard surface.

"Boothill," you whispered, your voice steady but full of warmth, "it's okay. You’ve fought so long, but you don’t have to fight alone anymore. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. You’re not alone. Everything... everything will be alright."

He didn’t respond immediately, but you saw the slight shift in his posture—the way he leaned just a little closer, his hair brushing against your arm. His eyes, those sharp, calculating eyes, softened, just for a moment. The aim symbols within them flickered slightly, as though they, too, were taking a break from their endless mission.

His voice was low, rough, as though it had been unused for far too long. "I... I don’t know how much longer I can keep fighting like this." The words came out almost as a confession, a crack in his usually impenetrable armor. "Everywhere I go, it feels like I’m chasing ghosts. My family... my home... it all just keeps slipping away, no matter how hard I try."

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close. He stiffened at first, his mechanical body too rigid, but then, slowly, he let go of the tension, allowing himself to be enveloped by your warmth. His chin rested on your shoulder, the weight of his past pressing against you, but you held him tighter.

"It’s okay, Boothill," you murmured, your voice a gentle whisper. "You don’t have to carry everything alone. I’m right here, always. And I’ll help you find your peace, even if we have to fight for it together. We’re a team, and I’ll never leave your side."

For the first time in a long while, Boothill let himself relax, his grip on you steady but soft. The storm inside him had not yet passed, but in this moment, there was comfort—a fleeting sense of safety.

"You’re right," he whispered, his voice low, almost hesitant. "I’ve been carrying too much... Maybe it’s time to let someone else carry a little of the weight."

And for a moment, the stars outside seemed to shine a little brighter. As if even the universe itself was reminding him that he was not alone.

The stars stretched infinitely before you, the ship gliding smoothly through the cosmos. Dan Heng stood near the observation window, his eyes distant, gazing into the void. His posture was tense, as it often was, his sharp features betraying none of the turmoil within. The weight of his past, the memories of his previous incarnation, lingered like a storm cloud hanging over him.

You had known him long enough to recognize the signs—the way his shoulders would stiffen, how he would withdraw into himself when the shadows of the past grew too overwhelming. He had always been like this: detached, burdened by things he could not control, unable to fully reconcile with the legacy of his past life as the Imbibitor Lunae.

Without saying a word, you approached him. He didn’t turn to face you, but you didn’t need him to. You knew what he needed, even when he didn’t.

You reached out, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. His skin was warm beneath your fingers, but the tension in his body was like a barrier—one that you knew he had built over countless years. Still, you could feel the way his body subtly relaxed at your touch, just a fraction, but it was enough.

"Dan Heng," you said softly, your voice the only thing breaking the silence. "I know you carry a heavy burden, and I know it’s not easy to shake the past. But you don’t have to do it alone. Whatever comes, I’ll be here. You don’t have to keep everything locked inside. Everything will be alright, I promise."

For a long moment, he didn’t speak. He simply stood there, his gaze fixed on the stars, his expression unreadable. But you didn’t pull away. You stayed close, your presence offering the quiet reassurance he needed.

Finally, his voice came, almost like a whisper. "It’s hard," he admitted, his tone low, vulnerable in a way you rarely heard. "To live with all these memories. To know what I’ve done... what I was capable of... and still wonder if I can ever make up for it."

You stepped closer, placing your other hand on his back, your warmth reaching through the cold walls he had built around himself. "You’ve already done so much, Dan Heng. You’ve made a choice. And that choice is yours, not anyone else's. The past doesn’t define who you are now. You are not your past life. You’re you—and you are enough."

He exhaled slowly, as if your words had finally reached him, breaking through the fog of his thoughts. His hand, which had been resting at his side, slowly reached up, fingers brushing against yours. The touch was small, fleeting, but it was enough—a silent acknowledgment of your words.

For the first time in a long while, Dan Heng allowed himself to believe that maybe—just maybe—everything would be alright. And as he turned his head slightly to meet your gaze, the faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice soft. "I... I needed to hear that."

And in that quiet moment, amidst the vast expanse of the stars, you both knew that, no matter how far you had to go or how many trials awaited, you would face them together.

[nonna-carmela]

Libby Thatcher x Good Luck, Babe!

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

Here to add that YES this still applies if you're autistic and have sensory issues! I had pretty bad ARFID as a kid but as my nervous system has matured I've been able to eat more and more things (and combinations of things!) and no longer like some of my old comfort foods. The shift started happening when I was around 22-24 and gradually accelerated from there because I realized I could try new things that smelled ok without it physically hurting.

When I was 14 I could only eat at a restaurant if they had 100% unseasoned pasta, potatoes, or chicken that hadn't touched anything else.

Yesterday, I was at a food court buffet and could eat (and enjoy!) a third of the options, all of which contained 3+ ingredients and seasoning and some of which were recipes I'd never tried before.

I've gone from begrudgingly tolerating food to actively enjoying some of it, and it's really cool. It still weirds me out that I can go to most restaurants and find something on the adult menu I can eat without any modifications. It didn't happen by magic, though, it's a result of going out of my way to try stuff, and of having partners/friends who like to cook and understand how to modify recipes to meet my sensory needs. I got here one ingredient at a time :)

My 30-something wisdom is that your palette is constantly changing so don't assume because you hated a food 10 or 20 years ago you still will. Most radically, your taste as a little kid is not indicative of what it will be as an adult-- I've known too many adults who still refuse to eat anything but chicken strips and ketchup because they're still basing their taste on what they experienced at 8 years old and so have cut themselves off from the entire world of adult taste. In my case, my taste for savory foods, especially vegetable dishes, "bitter" foods, and more complex flavor combinations has really expanded. I didn't like mushrooms as a child or for most of my 20s, but around 28 suddenly they worked for me. I started enjoying dark chocolate around 25, especially paired with fruit flavors. I've never been hugely fond of eggplant but discovered that in a sauce or roasted in butter and oil its delicious. I've always enjoyed fish but in the last 15 years I've discovered a passion for it, salmon especially. I've learned to recognize the tastes of herbs and love putting them into everything I can (currently I'm most enthusiastic about dill.) I'm also suddenly crazy about all kinds of sandwiches. And I'm still trying olives every couple years in case suddenly they start working for me, though sadly no luck on that front yet. So basically, expect that your taste is going to change in adulthood and expect that it will keep changing. And you can also work to develop your palette by exposing yourself to new flavors and combinations and cuisines, opening you up to even more foods you might never have liked before. So keep trying new and old foods, because you never know when you might suddenly start liking something new or discover a new way it can be prepared or a new texture it can come in. Don't wind up imprisoned in a world of chicken strips just because you haven't tried anything else since 3rd grade, you deserve better.

[chosolar]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈ wanna be yours!

gojo satoru x shy!femreader

THIS IS A REPOST

part 1

mdni please! there are sexual themes.

flirty!satoru did his best to respect your wishes but he was losing his mind. with each day passing where he didn't hear from you, his overthinking got worse. what happened for you to distance yourself from him seemingly out of nowhere?

flirty!satoru refused to go out of his penthouse unless it was severely urgent. he would get his groceries delivered or ask either suguru or shoko to buy it for it. The two tried their best to get him to at least walk around his complex but satoru would drag his body weight, making it difficult to even get him up. it got to a point where shoko threatened him that she was going to tell you how disgusting he was being. (as mean as it was, it sure got the job done)

flirty!satoru had his phone basically glued to his hand. constantly refreshing his feeds and checking everyone's stories to see if you would be there in the background. it was his only solace, seeing you happy even if he did feel like he was there was a boulder on his chest that made him feel suffocated.

flirty!satoru who sat up instantly the millisecond he got your text. it didn't matter that it was 2 in the morning, he was responding to your message ASAP.

hey satoru I hope you're doing well. is it alright if I call you? 2:33 am

he replied with a quick "yes of course", and he didn't care if he sounded desperate, because well, he was. he's been waiting for you to reach out ever since he got that text a few weeks ago.

his heart feels like it's going to burst out of his chest, each heartbeat thumps harder than the previous. he watches as his phone lights up with your contact photo and name, the ringtone blasting. within the second ring, he picks up, greeting you with a shaky voice.

"hi satoru," he hears your nervousness through the phone. your voice is nasally and he can make out the soft sniffling, but he stays quiet. "how have you been?"

satoru contemplated on what to say. should he be honest, or should he lie and say that he was doing well without you?

"better now that I can hear your voice." his heart rate sped up as he hears you soft laugh, "how about you?"

you sigh before you answer. "I'm in a dilemma to be honest."

"wanna tell me what it's about?" he urges, hoping he'll get the answer he's been looking for. satoru puts you on speaker and lets his phone drop onto his bed, his full undivided attention on you.

"well it's about you... kinda," you drift off before you continue. "the night before I sent you that text, I was working and someone asked me out."

satoru pleads in silence that this was not going where he thinks it's going. with this anxious feeling creeping up on him again, he doesn't say anything.

his uncommon reticence worries you but you carried on with the story.

"I didn't go out with him if that's what you're thinking of. I like you too much to do that. it just had me thinking because we spent months being more than friends, but am I the only one who feels that way?"

"no of course not!" satoru retorts, "I promise that it's not one-sided. why do you feel this way?"

it took you a few minutes to gather your thoughts, but satoru doesn't rush you. he hears a shaky exhale before you speak up, "I've noticed that you're flirty with everyone. you're not shy with touching other people and it just makes me feel like maybe it's wrong of me to feel special when I'm not the only one you've done these things with..."

flirty!satoru doesn't invalidate your feelings. he acknowledges each and every reason why you feel the way you do. satoru takes his time explaining that yes, he may be flirty and he's quite touchy, but it's different when it comes to you. the things he's done with you, he's never done with anyone else despite him having exes. although it's almost been a year since he's met you, the butterflies have never gone away and that each day his feelings grow.

flirty!satoru continues listing all the reasons why he loves likes you. he assures you that he may look like a fuckboy, he's far from it. he reminisces the time he had suguru psych him up to get your number because he's never had to ask for anyone's number (humble brag from him). he exhales a sigh of relief that the story earned a giggle from you.

flirty!satoru debates on telling you, but decided on keeping his plans of asking you out a secret. he wanted to prove to you that you're it for him and that there's no one else but you. satoru's big on actions speaking a lot more than words, so before he asks you out, he wants you to feel secure.

flirty!satoru posts you on his story constantly!!! whether you're out on a grocery run or a mini road trip for the long weekend, you can always count on satoru posting a soft launch story that has you in it. you don't know it, but satoru also has a secret instagram account, and the only thing he posts on it are pictures of you with the dates on it and a small paragraph of what you guys did that day. he likes to think it's modern-day scrapbooking.

flirty!satoru is obsessed with calling you nicknames, and as much as he loves saying your name - he will never not love calling you sweet nicknames like pretty girl, honey, or baby. satoru's fond of how your cheeks turn red and how you try to cover your face when he calls you any nicknames. it gives him cuteness aggression so bad, he ends up pinching your cheeks!

flirty!satoru can see how your eyes drift to look at his lips when you're talking to him face to face. you think you're so slick with it but satoru's quicker. whenever you do that little triangle trick you saw on tiktok, he leans in so he catches you by surprise. he observes with gleaming eyes as you back up to give yourself distance from him, but he just wraps his arms around you, pulling you towards him as he says, "hmm what was that baby?"

flirty!satoru has to hold himself back whenever he sees a customer come up to you and try to flirt with you. first and foremost, flirting is his thing! and second, he gets so jealous that sometimes he can't contain himself and ends up intervening. he'd make some stupid excuse to get you to leave like "hey I think someone clogged the toilet, can you check it please?" or something like that. you have to clean the stinky toilet but seeing satoru jealous is always a plus.

flirty!satoru is shocked when you made the first move and kissed him one night. it was the fact that you were sober too that surprised him even further. with you on top of him as he's sitting relaxed on the couch, his attention on the tv screen is stolen when you press your lips against his. the kiss, a seemingly innocent peck on the lips, turned into a heated make out session when satoru let go of his inhibitions. his hands roamed all over your body as his lips continue peppering kisses onto your cheeks, your jaw, and even down to your neck. satoru trails his hands from your body to hold your face gently so he can give you a final kiss before hugging you tightly.

flirty!satoru throws out all his ideas of asking you out, and opts for an intimate moment. on a cool wednesday night, he takes you back to his penthouse as per usual. he opens the door and waits to see your surprised face. he boasts that he decorated the place all by himself and even burned himself a few times with the hot glue gun to make the giant heart sign asking for you to be officially his (ngl it sounds like he's proposing but I mean who doesn't wanna marry satoru). obviously you said yes! let's just say that the heart balloons that were hanging and the flower petals scattered all over his living room were everywhere the morning after and cleaning it all up was tedious...... (but at least it was a fun night!)

flirtybf!satoru immediately changes all his profile pictures on every social media he has to pictures with you. his bio? your initials. his stories? all of you. he does not gaf he wants to show you off! the best part is satoru only follows a couple of people — you, suguru, shoko, and a few of his close relatives. satoru wants you to know that he only cares about you and only you. he never wants to and never will make you feel like you're in competition with anyone.

flirtybf!satoru is a no bs type of guy. now that your relationship was out in the open, you've gotten so many dms from other people trying to sabotage your relationship. satoru did not spend almost half a year proving his love to you for some jealous losers to try and break it, so he blocked the people who dmed you from his account and privated it.

flirtybf!satoru loves going on vacations with you, especially if it's a destination you've been telling him about. he'll almost always keep it a secret so that you don't have to worry your pretty little head about anything. costs, booking it off, transportation, he takes care of everything so the only thing you need to do is pack your bags. satoru loves how carefree you are when you're away from everyone else, and it's just the two of you in your own little world.

flirtybf!satoru is insatiable. his sex drive is so incredibly high, you wonder where his stamina comes from since he rarely did any sports. the first time you had sex, he wanted to take it slow because he wanted to savour the time with you. even though you were close when you two were just friends, having sex was a different level of intimacy. satoru wanted to show you that to him, this was not just a fuck that a one night stand will give you, no. it was making love, and he'll spend the whole night — dusk to dawn — just to show you how much he loves each and every part of you.

flirtybf!satoru started working out during his free time. he overheard you telling your friends that you love a man with a sleeper build, and well whatever his love wants, you will get. it doesn't take long until he starts seeing the fruits of his labor. he seldoms wear a shirt when he's home with just you, choosing to just wear a pair of sweatpants that he doesn't bother tying up so you can see the waistband of his calvin klein boxers. even though you two fuck often, he thinks it's so captivating that you still get bashful whenever he's being coy with you.

flirtybf!satoru loves talking about the future with you. he'll often ask you what kind of house you see yourself living in with him, and he'll make sure to get every little detail you're telling him. you've already moved into his penthouse after he begged for days for you to leave your apartment and just live with him. he takes notice of how you decorate and makes a mental note of it. satoru will make sure to say "when we have kids" or "when we're married", because he knows you're his endgame and he just can't wait for the day he's been looking forward to since he fell in love with you.

flirtybf!satoru surprises you with a trip to your dream vacation that you guys didn't get to go to before. the weather was horrendous, so the flight was cancelled but satoru booked another one closer to your birthday. he didn't tell you about it because he had a plan to make your birthday extra special. after you were done packing, he tells you that he'll meet you in the car. before satoru leaves the penthouse and locks the door, he double checks that the engagement ring is packed securely in his bag.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi everyone! I hope this satisfies everyone's request for a part 2 ◡̈ ngl I had to use some moments with my boyfriend because my mind was blanking out and I am prayinggggg that this one is not a disappointment to you guys! again not proofread <3

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

taglist:

@lvrndkoo @sorenflyinn @realalpacorn @ninani-nanina @msun1c0rn @ourfinalisation @rio-reid-whoreee @staarflowerr @leonesimp @okayiamkassandra @starpachinko @atashiboba @blueemochii @hawkswifie @secrtjncoblog @esperssox @smiling-16

a few of them did not show up so please let me know if you didn't get a notification ◡̈

[kumezyzo]

masterlist

Images began spreading unlike anything the media had ever really expected. They were all of you and Luigi. Well, really, how could anyone be angry about it? You were both beautiful. Something about the way you looked together was… unlike anyone had seen before

Although, the reason why these pictures were circulating so freely now was… not as wonderful. Luigi had finally been arrested.

There were reporters waiting outside your home now, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, a statement even. They were shameless, really. And the public wasn’t any better, really. Or more so… your coworkers.

You called off of work, even though you weren’t sure if your bank account would appreciate the act of self-preservation. The news had caught wind of your chat with the detectives.

People began to see you as a saint. Others saw you as a liar, even more believed you to be pitiful. You sounded small, desperate even. But they knew for a fact that someone who managed to get a ring from Luigi Mangione would protect him to the ends of the earth.

Regardless of what others believed for you, it was as if your life had truly, finally, fallen apart. You cried upon hearing the news. You didn’t cry because you hadn’t wanted him to get caught. No, you cried because you knew that regardless of the outcome of the court trial, your lives wouldn’t be the same.

That was clear to you because a clip of yours surfaced. It wasn’t yours so to speak, it was one that his sister filmed and you posted to your social medias. The day he proposed.

“Lu, where are we going!” You shouted, giggles falling from your lips as he pulled you ahead of his family. It seemed like he had a sudden surge of energy, grabbing you by your hand as you guys arrived at the park. It was the park he asked your out. It was his sisters idea to take a walk after family dinner.

He suddenly stopped, sending you crashing into him. He laughed as he held you up, steadying your footing. Despite your confusion, you couldn’t help but smile with him. He pressed his lips tenderly against yours. You smiled, hiding your face from his family, who was slowly catching up to you.

“What are you-” You began asking, watching him slowly get down on one knee. You swore you could feel your heart skip too many beats to be medically normal. “Oh, my god.”

Your hands shot up to your mouth as he smiled, opening up the small black box in his hand. Your heart was now beginning to beat out of your chest. Tears began filling your eyes, his only mirroring yours as he opened his mouth to speak.

He spoke your name like it was meant to be said by his lips only, “You are the love of my life. I couldn’t imagine spending the last four years with anyone else. I mean, you’ve been with me through so much and never once complained,” His voice and hands shook as he spoke. Even when he seemed so unsure of his words, his eyes told you everything. He already knew your answer. “I know you’re too good for me, but I can’t possibly imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. So… will you marry me?”

You let out a sob, unable to muster up any words. You could only nod, letting him shakily slip the ring onto your finger. His family began cheering at the sight. He smiled as a tear fell past his cheek. He stood up, engulfing you in a hug. The sheer strength in his hold told you that he more than loved you. It felt like you could live in eachothers skin. He spun you around, happiness and excitement gushing from both of you. 

You let out a watery giggle, “I love you.”

“I love you more,” He said, holding your face in hands before kissing you deeply. You both melted into the kiss, salty tears mingling between your lips.

You still remember that day like yesterday. Watching it from another perspective was just as emotional. Or maybe it was because that time felt like another lifetime. Or maybe because it was being used in edits with the song "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey.

I've had this in my drafts for a while. but it felt appropriate to continue it now for some reason. 🤷🏽‍♀️ -nony

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Lucifer x Reader - It's Been A While... (NSFW)

Based on @the-other-soup's post from a little bit ago ;3

Lucifer's been alone from quiet some time now, ever since his wife left years ago

He's never found anyone else to share his life with after that

That is, of course, until you came along

You never intended to fall in love with the King of Hell, but his goofy charm and profound silliness enchanted you

Things were slow to start, it took him a few months to ask if he could hold your hand

You didn't mind though, you thought it was adorable; the most powerful being in the realm became a flustered mess around you

After things became more serious, however, it was you that brought up the possibility of being more intimate

Lucifer was somehow very eager and very hesitant at the same time; as though he wanted nothing more than to be with you physically but something was holding him back

You told him it didn't have to be today, or next week, hell, it didn't even have to be this year!

You only wanted to have a discussion and didn't want to pressure him at all; he was very appreciative

One night, a soft make out session on his bed developed into something deeper

Your eyes couldn't help but notice the bulge that was forming in Lucifer's pants

"Maybe we should stop," you suggested, gesturing below his belt

Lucifer looked down, his eyes wide. "O-Oh! Oh golly...sorry about that..."

"Lucifer, you don't have to apologize for being turned on!"

"I know," he sighed, "I just...I feel like I'm forcing you to wait for me. You've been so patient and I can't tell you how much that means to me, but..."

You smile and plant a kiss on his tinted cheek. "It's alright, I understand. You know I'd never force you into anything you weren't ready for. I'm perfectly fine waiting for-"

"I want you to touch me." Lucifer cut you off unexpectantly. "I-I mean, if you would like to! I don't want you to if you don't want to! I just...God, what's wrong with me?!"

You sat there stunned for a moment before taking a hold of Lucifer's hand. "Luci, please don't force yourself into this. If you're not comfortable with-"

"I promise I'm not forcing myself into wanting this, wanting you. God, I've wanted you for so long now...I'm tired of being afraid." He leaned in to kiss you tenderly before pulling away. "Please..."

You leaned your forehead against his. "Are you sure?"

"I am."

Slowly, your hands traveled south on his body, making quick work of his belt and shuffling his pants down to his ankles.

His bulge looked even more impressive pressing against his boxers; you had to hold back a smirk when you saw the spot of precum that already leaked through the material

You pushed his boxers down and freed his thick shaft, gasping at his size and trying to keep yourself from drooling

"I'll go slow, okay?" you reassured him. "If you want me to stop, please tell me. Promise?"

"I promise," he murmured.

The poor man could barely look you in the eyes, but it was adorable how nervous he seemed to be

Tentatively you gripped the base of his cock which you could barely wrap your hand fully around and began to stroke him gently

God, the sounds that left the angel’s mouth were immaculate; soft mewls and choked back moans

You wanted him so fucking bad

But you promised you would go slow, and that’s exactly what you planned to do

You kissed him softly, swallowing every noise he made

Only about a minutes passed before Lucifer started to tremble under your touch, his breathing beyond labored

He was a goner

“S-Shit…love, I…oh, God…oh no…no no no no, FFFFUUUUCK!”

Without so much as a warning, Lucifer came hard into your hand, unable to keep himself from bucking into you

His cum spilled passed your fingers and dripped onto the bedsheets below

“Oh…” you whispered to yourself

“Fuck…FUCK! I’m so so sorry! I didn’t think I would…oh my God…it’s been so long since someone else has…this is a disaster!”

You couldn’t hold back the giggle that left your throat

Lucifer blushed hard and hid his burning face in his hands

“No, no, Lucifer it’s alright!” you tried to comfort him. “I’m not laughing at you, I swear I’m not. I don’t care that you finished so quickly! If anything, I’m flattered! Please don’t be embarrassed.”

You brought your hand to your face, making sure he watched you lick up the mess he had made

That gesture alone made the man whimper

“Did it feel good?” you asked, wiping the remaining remnants of his cum from your lips

“Good? Sweetie, that felt incredible…I’m sorry again. Can I at least make it up to you?”

You blushed at the thought of his proposal. “Lucifer, that’s very thoughtful of you, b-but you don’t have to-”

You don’t know how you ended up laying flat on the bedsheets with Lucifer hovering over you, but you were

And you didn’t want to be anywhere else

“Do you think it’s fair that I get to cum and you don’t?” he asked. “No, no, that’s not going to work for me.”

He shifted himself down, his face planted firmly between your clothes sex

“With your permission, darling.~”

Lucifer spent the next hour bringing you endless pleasure with his fingers and tongue alone

You now knew it was possible for you to cum 7 times within the span on 60 minutes

[luvdazqi]

☆ ( hate fucking⠀ ) — 🌸

featuring: rival!chuuya x pm executive!reader

warnings: female reader, afab, cervix fucking, cursing, name calling, degrading, edging, creampie, hair pulling, spanking, fingering, rough sex, no protection, mentions of the word 'p' and 'd', kinda filthy(?).

notes: this lowkey took me a few days to write cuz i barely had any ideas.. but i hope you enjoy!

at any chance you'd get, you'll always find a way to make chuuya's day go even worse. despite the two of you both being powerful executives in the port mafia, needless to say that you and chuuya hated each other. you two would always bicker like children and were always at each others throats. but you'd have to admit that seeing chuuya angry over the smallest things was quite amusing for you. you'd always pull small little pranks on him just to annoy the shit out of him, and he'd always know it was your doing, because no one else would have the courage to piss of chuuya after all.

no one else dared to step into you and chuuya's bickering, they'd all sit idly and watch. but beside all that hatred, there was always some type of tension between the both of you, even if one of the two would never admit to it.

"fuckin' hell.." chuuya muttered in irritation, slamming his fist on his desk. his eyes flashed with a hint of anger as he was a victim of your silly pranks yet again. you had been bothering him all day and you decided it would be funny to slip some type of aphrodisiac into his wine, and now his body was feeling all hot and bothered thanks to you. "bring her to my office." chuuya gestured to one of his subordinates to bring you to him, oh he wasn't definitely not gonna let you slide this time like he always did.

once you finally got to his office, leaving the two of you alone in the room, it practically filled with tension, so thick that you could cut through it with a knife. chuuya practically pounced onto you when you arrived, a visible flush on his cheeks and his pants already tight with a visible erection, looks like the aphrodisiac worked after all.

"you think you're so fuckin' funny aren't ya?" chuuya snarled, his gloved hand wrapped around your neck, though not applying pressure. "you've been buggin' me all day, it's like you were begging for my attention." his heated gaze was piercing into you at this point, his breathing becoming ragged. "you wanted my attention right? now you've fuckin' got it."

sitting on his desk, your legs spread apart just enough for chuuya to look down at your wet and puffy cunt. his gloves were discarded, not wanting to ruin his good pair with your wetness. "look at you, all wet and i've barely done anything. you're practically dripping on my fingers, ya fuckin' whore. i knew this is what you wanted all along." chuuya scoffed, curling his digits inside you. he listened to the way you whimpered and shuddered, which only made his lips curl into a cocky smirk.

just as you were about to cum, he pulls his fingers out of your pussy, making you whine. but he didn't care, he licked his fingers clean and scoffed down at your drunk aroused state. "a slut like you doesn't get to cum yet." his voice was almost raspy before reaching to the waistline of his dress pants, unbuttoning and pulling them down alongside with his boxers. his cock was painfully hard from all the aphrodisiac in his wine earlier, the tip already visible with precum.

"maybe if you beg i might just let ya' cum on my cock." he says in a mocking tone before moving you to bending over his desk, his hand landing on the curve of your ass with a loud slap that left a painful red hand print. "you're gonna take every inch of me, got it?" he says, using the angry flushed head of his dick to rub against your entrance, mixing his pre-cum with your wetness before pushing himself inside you. a rumble emanates from his throat as he felt your tightness wrap around him so perfectly, grasping your hips and holding you in place. "holy fuck.. mmff- gonna stretch this pussy of yours real good." he pants, another slap on your flesh as he delves himself deep into you from behind.

the sounds of skin slapping against skin, along with his groans and your moans filled his office. you couldn't even comprehend words as your mind goes blank, your eyes hazy as chuuya keeps pounding his dick into you that hit your cervix over and over again, almost like if he was putting all his hatred for you with every thrust. "fuckin' whore.. ngh-! this is all it took for ya' to keep your fuckin' mouth shut, huh? always- mmhh- making me loose my fuckin' mind.." he moans, a harsh slap on your ass once again, which basically was already red with his hand prints.

he felt your gummy walls clench around him, your vision blurring with pleasure, "fuck- you gonna cum? i don't think so, you don't fuckin' deserve it yet you filthy slut." he chuckles, gripping onto your hips before stopping his thrusts and pulling out just as you were about to cum, making you whine and call him as asshole, but he didn't care. it only fueled him to keep going, watching you intently as a smirk tugging at his lips. waiting for a while, he slams back into you again. your body quivering beneath him, hitting into your cervix once again with each harsh thrust.

he kept his brutal pace until he felt his orgasm approach, with one final wet smack, chuuya groans as his fingers tighten around your hips holding you in place as his cock pulses with each load of cum painting your insides. keeping himself there for a moment, to compose himself before slowly pulling out his cock with a lewd squelch, looking down at your stretched pussy leaking his with cum. "fuck, look at you.. dripping with my cum like the dirty slut you are."

but he barely gave you enough time to register your thoughts before he drives his hips into your sensitive hole all over again, hitting that delicious spot inside you as he made sure all of his cum stays inside you. keeping a fast, deep rhythm inside you "mmhh- you like having my dick inside ya'.. huh? gonna make sure this pussy of yours stays filled with my cum for the rest of the day. ngh- maybe that'll put ya' in your fuckin' place, whore."

taglist: @moomuzan @iwuvnami @ellie-corner14 @nonexistence1199 @lurulu-ru @causenessus @vasarii @broken-spirit101

© luvdazqi on tumblr ; do not copy, plagiarize or translate any of my works.

[apomaro-mellow]

Govt gets kas!Eddie 6

Part 5

For the most part, everyone got used to Eddie and his new form relatively quickly. Considering his new attributes and the fact he was still working on forming full sentences, that itself was a feat. If anything, the part that took the most adjusting too was how he clung to Steve now. And he really clung. Steve was used to it, in private, at least. The first time Eddie hugged him from behind, pressing himself to Steve from shoulder to ankle, right when they were in the middle of discussing what to do about Vecna...well Steve thought he might die.

Everyone gave them looks but no one said anything. At least, not at the time. Steve wasn't ready for them to be completely out yet. But he wasn't going to push Eddie away. He thought he'd never get this again. Never see Eddie again, much less be held by him.

"I just don't get why he's so close with you all of a sudden", Erica said.

"I've been thinking the same thing", Mike agreed.

"They've got a weird bond", Dustin said.

"Yeah, but like, since when?", Lucas asked, also curious.

Eddie was out in the yard. It was dark out, so they weren't worried about anyone seeing him. And he'd gotten the urge to patrol lately. Maybe he could feel Vecna trying to get close or something? Either way, that left Steve to field the questions.

"He and I did go to school for years. Back when you guys were still in diapers", he snarked.

Dustin frowned. "Yeah, but that doesn't explain why you two are all-"

"Can we get back to the important stuff?", Steve cut him off. "Like anything else?"

"Okay, why are you in sweats all the time?", Erica asked. "Did you just give up on life or something?"

Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. He got up just when more people came in through the front door. One of which was Hopper. Who had been giving him and Eddie odd looks from the start. Steve escaped to the laundry room to do a load. Once alone, he put a hand to his stomach. He'd gone for sweatpants more often lately, simply because suddenly his jeans stopped fitting.

He brought a hand to his stomach but snatched it away when Hopper appeared in the doorway. His arms were crossed as he looked Steve up and down. Steve opened his mouth to ask what was up but Hopper beat him to it.

"I don't know just what's goin' on with you and Munson. But I know it's something."

"Yeah...so?", Steve felt defensive.

"Is that really how you wanna live?"

"And what's that got to do with you, Jim?", Wayne asked, coming by with a basket of clothes.

"I'm not the kind to judge. I just don't think they need to flaunt it. Especially in front of the kids."

"Get your head outta your ass", Wayne said, setting the basket down.

Hopper uncrossed his arms and frowned. "I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. What they do when they're alone is none of my business, but-"

"No buts, that's the end of the sentence. It's none of your business. These boys have been through too much to have to deal with you or anyone else telling them how to live."

"You sound like you're ready to fight for it", Hopper took a step toward him. "You remember I'm a cop right? And that I served?"

"Yeah we all got Uncle Sam's letter", Wayne said, taking a step towards Hopper. "You're tellin' me you never met anyone like them? People who got more letters from 'brothers' than from any missus? No one who took extra long in the showers?"

"That was wartime, it was different."

Wayne grinned and his shoulders shook like he was about to laugh and Steve was struck by how similar he seemed to Eddie.

"You just worry about Creel's boy. This ain't a fight you're gonna win."

Hopper let out a breath and turned to walk away. Steve sighed in relief and only then did he notice he'd had a hand to his stomach, almost protectively. Wayne said nothing as he put the basket of clothes in the wash and Steve appreciated that. It gave him a moment to think of how he'd approach a certain topic with Eddie later.

It was about midnight when Steve felt Eddie slip back into the nest. Wayne had pretty much moved into the guest room upstairs. Robin was in Steve's bedroom. And some of the kids had taken up residence in his parents' bedroom. Eddie's arms wrapped around his torso. Steve could tell he was in a mood more romantic than lustful tonight. Before the change, they'd taken whatever moments alone that they could and they did so now too.

The first time they'd made love in this nest had been about two weeks ago and since then they'd done it about every other day. Steve would have blamed Eddie's new form for the insatiability but they were both like this before too. Every time they did it though, Eddie talked of breeding. Steve's hand went to his front, where Eddie's hands were.

"Ed?", he whispered.

"Hm?"

"Am I...? Eddie did you-did we-?" He huffed and turned around to face Eddie, then grabbed a flashlight and put it on the couch near their heads to illuminate the room without having to get up and hit a switch.

"Steve?"

Steve met his gaze and then slowly lifted his shirt. It wasn't just his jeans that fit different. His shirts too. And now, in the near dark with only Eddie to see, Steve could admit it. His stomach was growing.

"I think I'm..." The 'p' word was on the back of his tongue and Steve felt like nothing short of his stomach heaving would make it come up.

Eddie was looking at him in awe. His hands, sharp to the point, touched him as gentle as ever. He cooed and Steve felt it before his brain registered seeing it. A wriggling in his gut. Now if, perhaps, Steve had been born with a body that held the right parts to receive and grow new life, he mightn'tve been so surprised. But as it was, he was not. So he could be forgiven for his reaction.

"AAHH WHAT THE SHIT!"

And since all in the house were experienced veterans in their own way, it could also be expected that they'd all converge, various kinds of weapons in hand.

"What is it?!", Robin asked, holding one of Steve's trophies.

"Demogorgon? Are you cursed?!", Dustin shrieked, brandishing his dad's fraternity paddle.

The rest were looking around to find the danger. There was absolutely no way in hell that Steve was telling them he was currently carrying...something.

"There was a...uh a spider", Steve said. "It's gone now."

The rest of them groaned but visibly relaxed and returned to bed. Sure, Steve's reputation was shot even more, but it wasn't like most of them held him in super high regard to begin with anyway. He laid back down, trying to relax as well and Eddie's hand was instantly on his stomach.

"Pups", he said simply, looking at his stomach in pure adoration.

Steve gave himself a minute to process it. He thought Eddie had simply been all talk. But something was inside of him now. Something that was growing. Something that Eddie was already fond of. He thought about them before. The dreams they'd had, the life they had wanted. Steve had never been shy about wanting a family that included children. They hadn't known how that'd be possible, given their circumstances. But Eddie had assured him.

"Gonna give you everything you want, sweetheart. You deserve it."

Steve was brought back to the present by something soft touching his belly. Eddie's lips. Steve stroked his hair.

"Pups", Eddie repeated.

"O-ours?", Steve stuttered out.

"Ours", Eddie echoed, smiling up at him.

Leave it to Eddie Munson to keep his promises in the way people least expect.

Part 7 coming soon

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[slaaverin]

Stumbled upon this and it made my heart ache for Jungkook.

This man is the most honest, pure, and kind-hearted person I've ever encountered.

He wears his heart on his sleeve since debut. Everything can be seen on his face and words, he's an open book.

So how on earth people pretending to love him cannot see him?

How can people have so much distortions in their perceptions to call him a manipulative liar? It is truly beyond my comprehension.

Since the start Jungkook has been trying to tell us; through songs he shared, through gcfs with carefully selected clips and lyrics, through the tender way he touches and treats Jimin, through his eyes, so expressive and full of emotions, through his words, protective, devoted. He told us for years that he simply and irrevocably loves Jimin. He loves him. And I don't care how people want to label this love. The label doesn't matter, but the depth of it does.

So by negating this bond, and calling it lies, and treating Jungkook as a fake person, can these people even truly say they love him? They know him? They've devoted their full attention to him?

Or is it just for selfish reasons? Because of his looks, because of what they would want him to be instead of who he truly is?

This makes me sad because Jungkook has done nothing but show his heart, time and time again. He has been vulnerable with us, showed the ups and downs, and yet it's only to get hurt by people who claim they even love him. How twisted is this?

You know what kind of trust he has for us? What kind of sacrifices is required to be this open? In a country like theirs, in a situation as complicated as to be a member of the biggest band in the world?

What Jungkook has done in so many years is an gigantic gift to us. It is a blessing. And it is brave.

I only wish people would treat it as such, instead of shitting on it.

The value Jungkook has provided is tremedous, and not acknowledging this really makes them look ungrateful and entitled and selfish.

Apparently they love him so much that they label themselves "solos". Their primary focus is Jungkook. The person they think and observe and cheer for is Jungkook.

They devote so much time onto him, yet you tell me that they entirely missed the most obvious part, the biggest elephant in the room?

What a fucking joke this is. How can someone be so wrong?

They are the liars. They are the ones manipulating reality for their agenda, not Jungkook.

If they go as far as denying and belittle a big part of Jungkook's heart, they insult him and who he is. They disrespect him. And they sure as hell do not love him (I'm not even sure they know what love is).

Sorry, but this is hitting me hard. I want Jungkook to have the fans he truly deserves, as the beautiful human he is, and that is not it.

Jungkook has been my bias since day one. And to watch him come into himself and become the man he is today has been a true privilege.

He has revealed everything of himself. Everything we need to know at least.

So can people open their minds a little bit, and let Jungkook's heart and feelings touch theirs? Just for an instant?

Real life is not always a drama. It's not conspiracy theories, it's not toxicity and negativity only. Sometimes there are real people with real feelings. There is some good in this world and I know it's hard to believe. I know people are disillusioned and traumatized and mistrustful. But if they could let their guard down, and just open their hearts, they would understand how good and true Jungkook is.

That there is a reason they love him, and this reason is valid. It is. And it is not in crazy narratives. It is in simple acts of love.

If seeing him happy isn't enough, I don't know what will be, because anything beyond that is demanding unrealistic expectations he will never be able to fulfill. He will never be this person. He is not this person.

He is happy with Jimin and that is reality.

He loves Jimin and it is the truth.

Can it not be enough?

What else do they want?

He's human. He lives a complicated life with impossibles things many of us could not endure because we are simply not made for it, and we would crumble. Who he is and what he does is extraordinary.

So what if a show with Jimin brings him comfort, makes him smile in the midst of his stressful life? What if it is the best moments for him?

Why would it be wrong? Why won't they let them have this unique pocket of happiness?

😭 does he not deserve it? Has he not done enough for ALL OF US?

When I tell you that makes me cry.

Showing love is not taking only the parts we want and reject the things we don't like, it's accepting it all, it's saying yes to everything he is. It's unconditionnal. It's trust and understanding and being empathetic. It's not in the fucking mind with theories. It's in the guts, in the heart, it doesn't have to be logical and make sense.

His love for Jimin doesn't make sense (I mean of course it does because it's The Park Jimin), yet this love exists and people need to accept it once and for all, because this won't go away, probably never.

So yes, my heart aches for Jungkook. Because I don't want all his efforts to show us and make us understand to be a waste. I want him to be heard and cared for in the way he deserves.

It's a fan's job.

So can people start showing real support, please? Of everything he is, and everyone he loves?

Sorry for the long post but I needed to get this out of my chest

[thebrokengate]

LEWISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Sorry. Sorry! Reflex. 😅

Anyway, I just want to say now that I've had time to review this video this morning, HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO WELL DONE! Your readings of the queer subtext in this game are so well put together, and I also have to thank you for adding in the parts about the Don Quixote story as someone who hasn't read it and never got to know the book that made Luis into the character that he is. I found myself nodding along in agreement as well to your reading of Krauser as I consider myself, after spending multiple months after the game came out studying him like a bug under a microscope, to probably be one of the most knowledgeable people about his character and his queer coding. There are a couple things I want to add if you don't mind me doing so though!

Not only does Krauser have the "Anything to make the pretty boy feel special!" line, he also has another line that's either next to impossible to trigger or has been deleted where he tells Leon, "You rely on those pretty blues too much!" And though I can't find a clip of him saying it anywhere on video (and trust me I've tried like. every playthrough that exists on YouTube ever and if you or anyone else finds one PLEASE SEND IT TO ME I NEED IT FOR. reasons.), it is said in this collection of his lines from the game at 2:50. I'm also going to warn you before you click- volume warning because the first line that comes up is Krauser yelling "DIEEEEE" like a death metal singer and it blew out my eardrums the first time I clicked it. Please help me, I am in pain.

More on Krauser: remember when Leon says right after Luis dies, "You won't get away with this, Krauser"? Well... somebody please tell me why Leon tries to or at least thinks about leaving the fight multiple times during the arena boss battle then? The first time it happens is in the opening cutscene after Krauser says, "I've been waiting for you, rookie" where Leon's already looking for a path to escape before Krauser poses the question, "Worried about the girl, is that it?" (and then he says "That's just like you. You've always had poor judgment" which can be taken in.. a number of ways LOL. Is his judgment poor for trying to save everyone or for going after women instead of men- *gunshot sound*) When the battle kicks off, Krauser says, "Better run, rookie!" to which Leon replies, "Not like I have a choice." Which.. he absolutely has another choice: to fight back. Krauser comments several times about how shaky and unsteady Leon is while facing him, and even says, "What's wrong? Show no mercy!" He knows Leon doesn't want to do this and Leon comments multiple times in both fights against Krauser how Krauser isn't leaving him much choice but to fight him and he can't believe that Krauser is actually making him do this. The next time Leon tries to leave, it's right before Krauser uses his newfound power in las plagas to turn one arm into a weapon (before inevitably doing it to both). "Are we done here, Krauser?" Leon asks. Which makes me wonder. Uh- if he really was done, would Leon just let him walk away at this point? Krauser again comments here how Leon is too soft to do what's necessary - put Krauser out of his misery - and attacks again, knocking Leon down into the labyrinth. The final time that Leon tries to get away, he runs for the drawbridge that closes up on him and the look of pain on his face before Krauser jumps down behind him is.. it's just sad. He's tried multiple times to get away, but now he really has no choice. Every time he tries to run away, something else stops him, and now he has to go through with killing Krauser. Even when Krauser's down, he hesitates to do so for so long and had so much trouble doing so that originally, from what Mike Kovac said, Krauser was going to put his hand on Leon's on the knife to guide him to kill him but they couldn't do that because both of Krauser's arms were mutated (linking the video here. never forget what they took from us.. at 3:07:41). And I think it's worth noting too that this is the only fight where Leon tries so hard to get away. Right after this is the Saddler fight and Leon remarks, "I'll make sure you're the next to go, Saddler" and actually does it without trying to leave once. For the duration of the entire fight, Leon flip flops back and forth between trying to leave and trying to reason with Krauser, and it's such a testament to Leon's character how even after all Krauser has done, he still wants to save him (in fact, neither one of these idiots [affectionate] really wanted to kill each other and you can tell in Krauser's responses to actually killing Leon and the way he plays with his food in the first fight like you said - but it ended in death anyway).. and Leon looking back at Krauser's body in the end like a lost puppy utterly destroys me every time.

Going into a little bit about the parallels of RE2R to RE4R, every character and every boss has parallels to each other. Mendez is like the new Mr. X, some of the boss movements of Krauser in the final fight after he's mutated resemble the stage 1 Birkin fight's movements (specifically they both can grab Leon's head and both have mutations starting with the arms), even something as simple as the Garradors paralleling the Lickers - both unable to see but can hear you and are very quick to kill you with their long claws or something that resembles claws. So it's only natural that certain character dynamics parallel too. When RE4R first came out, I saw some people say that "Luis is the new Marvin Branagh" but I disagree. I think that role rather goes to Krauser - in an equal but opposite way. Both Marvin and Krauser were people meant to train and lead Leon in his line of work, Marvin as his lieutenant and Krauser as his major. They also both refer to Leon as "rookie", and Krauser taught Leon to fight with a knife, just as you receive a combat knife from Marvin in RE2R. Equal characters, but opposites. So no, I think Luis actually instead parallels Ada. At least for Leon. Why? He has a shady past, having worked with Umbrella, much like Ada has a shady past running missions for Wesker as a mercenary. He appears and disappears multiple times, leaving and rejoining Leon just like Ada did in RE2R. And there's a moment where he dies, just the way Leon originally thought Ada did at the end of RE2R except this time Luis actually does die. But what's changed here? Luis was on a mission of redemption, dying a better man than he was before, unlike in RE2R where it ends with Ada and Leon turning on each other before Ada seemingly falls to her death. They're both wounded by a third party - Ada being shot by Annette and Luis being stabbed by Krauser - as well. So if that's not more to the queer coding of Luis, I don't know what is. But I also want to elaborate on my "at least for Leon" point because, even though it's irrelevant to the queer coding, Luis acts as a parallel in Ada's story to Leon. She has to save him, he gets himself into trouble all the time, his heart is often bigger than his brain, he's the one she wants to get her the amber, she pushes him away when he tries to care for her like Leon did in RE2R... the works. Luis was a second chance for both of them to make amends with their Raccoon City past together.

Last thing to note, just... Why is there so much BDSM in this game? Jeezaloo!

But that's just a fun addition, lmao.

Anyway, this video was so good and thank you so much for sharing it with the world! :)

hi happy re4 20th. here's a 50 minute long video to celebrate it