#I've made vague references to this in other canon timeline threads

[iirvings]

Lloyd, starting shortly after the end of the game, has symptoms of cptsd related to his experiences with every trip to the Tower of Salvation. He knows that something is very wrong with his psyche but he has no real way of verbalizing it to others.

Frequent nightmares involving his friends disappearing, of the people he loves leaving him, of betrayals at every corner, of falling from high towers-- Lloyd has been hurt by the actions he and others took in the game, even if oftentimes there was no other option at the time. But he doesn't have the language to let someone know that he's hurting, that going by where the old Tower of Salvation stood makes him physically ill, he's unable to sleep without counting the breaths of his traveling companion before bed, that flight makes his heart race in ways it never did before the Tower fell.

Lloyd is open with the feelings he felt about having the hero's journey forced on him via Tethe'allan and Sylvaranti propaganda. But at what point is he ever given the chance to stop and process everything he became to his companions and the rest of the population? When was he ever allowed to scream and cry about Colette being kidnapped and almost murdered multiple times, about losing his friends in front of his very eyes one by one, about his loved ones always lying to him, about having to take on the weight of the title Hero?

And so he keeps going and going, and he hasn't said anything about it because no one's ever fucking asked. He gives and he gives for the sake of his companions. He pushes them to be honest with him, to do their best and be their best. But he never gave himself the same treatment.

He never gave himself grace.

And now he lives with the weight of Lloyd the Hero on his back, without the support system he so very needs. He forces himself to relive his memories with every visit to the World Tree, and he talks himself down from paranoia every time he loses sight of his companions. All without saying a word to anyone else.

Because he is Lloyd the Hero.

But he is still Lloyd the Man.

And Lloyd the Hero is heavy burden to bear.

[traveling-historian]

...Ah~! Here we are...

It's been a while since I've used one of these.

Ahem.

Hello, you may call me Vee~ I've moved fairly recently to Castelia City for a bit of a fresh start. I'm a bit...new to "social media" so do extend some patience, aha~

I'm rather fond of history, more specifically mythology, and am constantly in search of more knowledge.

It seems to be popular to include more information regarding yourself down below.

He/him and they/them are my pronouns and I'm currently 29 years old. I'm fairly tall, I believe around 190cm last I checked.

Originally from... Sinnoh.

My current team consists of:

Spiritomb ♂ - Seneca

Roserade ♂ - Amnon

Togekiss ♀ - Eden

Hisuian Arcanine ♀ - Eris

Lucario ♂ - Malachi

Garchomp ♂ - Ramiel

Eevee ♀ - Bliss

((OOC NOTE: Please read before interacting!!

Hey hey! Welcome to my Pokémon rp blog. On this blog I will be pretending as if the world of Pokémon is 100% real. This being said, I will be including pkmn rp tags in each post that fits that description as a warning.

Friendly reminder that if you try to engage a plot with me or any kind of offscreen rp experience without at least discussing it with me first, then I will likely not respond. Even if you do approach me with something in mind, there is no guarantee I will engage. Also I tend not to interact or engage in any big events. They tend to become overwhelming for me and you’ll most likely never find me becoming a part of them. Please don’t send in asks regarding big events.

If you are looking to interact with my muse, and your muse is tied to some potentially triggering topics, I would prefer if you discussed potential interactions with me first. This is for my own comfort, so please keep this in mind.

That being said, this blog will likely contain some triggering topics, such as religion, religious guilt/trauma, paranoia, dissociation and other things of this nature.

Admin is an adult! If this makes you uncomfortable then move along.

This is an RP blog, however this specific version of Volo is CANON DIVERGENT and based off an au of mine. For more information regarding this specific au please read the brief summary below:

Volo is a time traveler who's recently fled from Hisuian era Sinnoh not long after the events of PLA. He ran away via space time distortion, which sent him to modern day Unova. He's adopted the alias of "Vee" and will deny any sort of relation to "Volo" or Cynthia.

Volo is not originally from Hisui and has spent a majority of his life jumping through timelines, so he's fairly familiar with the modern day. However he's spent quite a while in Hisui, so there will be a bit of a culture shock. His grasp on current events may be a bit dated as well.

He labels himself as a historian who specializes in mythology, however his intent is to learn more about Arceus and other Pokemon deities. He carefully hides any malintent behind a slightly unsettling mask of friendliness and sociability.

ONCE AGAIN this blog will contain some POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING TOPICS such as religion, religious guilt/trauma, paranoia, dissociation, and other topics that relate to Volo's experience as a religious man with an unhealthy obsession with "god" who also deals with paranoia and other mental issues.

Please be aware that when I am talking as Vee (Volo), he may appear unsettling or not in touch with reality. If you are uncomfortable with this, it may be in your best interest to move along. If something ever comes off as rude/mean, it does not reflect how I actually feel and is just how I believe Vee (Volo) would react.

This blog is SFW, save for vaguely suggestive topics. Anything that is deemed as explicitly NSFW will be deleted on sight.

Another warning. This blog may often be involved in long RP threads. I won’t be using any programs to cut my long posts short. If this bothers you, I would recommend skipping this blog or blocking the tag “long post” or “rp thread”.

Also! I follow and like from @ripoff-robbie-rotten.

HERE IS A REFERENCE I MADE FOR MY VERSION OF VOLO.

DNI: Proshippers, TERFS, and NSFW blogs))

[canarymemories]

hi finally compiling the thread i made the other day on twt abt the first chapter of recital so. welcome to me having far too much to say about my big bang fic skgh

chapter titling is similar to symphony (leo day fic) but instead of music terms, it's ballet terms. i'm nowhere near as used to ballet terms as i am w music terms so they won't have a deeper meaning (at least not on purpose lmao) like some of the symphony chapter titles do, but that's part of why there's nine chapters

a small aside: there is a specific structure i have in mind for the fic. there will be three arcs (if u want to call them that), the first three chapters is the first arc and then there will be an intermission chapter (up to this point is as far as i've confidently planned out so past this point, i can't guarantee anything but. nine chapters is the goal adkgsh). so then chapter 4 and 5 are arc two followed up by another intermission, then the final arc will be chapters 8 and 9. the plan is to stay mostly canon compliant until i don't agree w akira (or kinosei aslkhg), so i'll pretty much be sticking to the canon timeline

please listen to the playlist akdhg most of the songs do correspond to specific things/chapters so it's tied to the story itself plus i've listened to it too many times so. please tell me i'm so right about it 😔 the song i used in the summary of the first chapter is more of a chapter 2 song but i felt like it fit for the first chapter so adkgh (i have. So Many songs for checkmate so. can't wait for that one lmao) (chapter 1 songs are the first four in the playlist, the 5th one could go either way between ch 1 and 2) once more is posted, then i might actually sit here and go on abt why each of these songs is specifically here

writing choices 🎉 the one i want to talk about so so so so bad is the using nicknames in the narration bc if you've read literally anything else i've posted, you'd see that i don't do that, but bc recital is so close to izumi as the narrator, and this chapter is focused on his childhood, i thought it was fitting. there are a few instances of this changing throughout the chapter, such as makoto going from yuukun to makoto in the one flashback section and then staying as makoto when izumi is older, naru eventually changes to arashi.

and the one i really want to bring up,,, izumi's parents are always referred to as mama and papa but there is one singular instance where that's changed and that's during the argument at the end of the chapter.

and then she's referred to as mama again a few paragraphs later and this just goes into the point that i think izumi has a very complicated relationship with his parents. on one hand, they don't support him as an idol and have quite literally told him to his face that he's not successful enough to make it on his own as a model (next door), have treated him more like a doll than their child and they couldn't be bothered to actually ask him what he was interested in, but he still cares about them. he gets offended on their behalf more than once (in ! era at least), but it's just,, complicated. i feel like i can't really properly explain my thoughts here but i have Thoughts. but this is where the vaguely toxic parenting warning comes in from this chapter because the thing is, i don't think his parents were planning for him to feel the way he does about their parenting, they do love him and they do want to have him succeed just. maybe not for the right reasons, yk? ofc that doesn't justify their treatment of him or anything like that, there's just more to it than outright toxic parenting hence why it's subtle here.

what's a little less subtle is izumi's mom living vicariously through him, it's a bit more obvious with the modeling bit than the dance classes but idk it makes sense to me for her to have done them as a child too

baby modelgumi,,, they get their own point here bc i think those might've been my favorite bits to write and genuinely, the baby arashi bit is my favorite part of the whole chapter. they're just so alsdkgh oeugh cute i want to squeeze them in my hands 🥺🥺🥺. my note for this on my list of things to talk about is literally "baby modelgumi :pleading:" they hold a special place in my head and i hope in urs too

i was going to list stories reference but i might wait until i have more done and posted for that (plus i can't remember what story it is that arashi mentions izumi pushed her mouth into a smile as kids) but. portrait and canary hall mentions 🎉🎉

the argument. it's implied a few times in ! that izumi's parents don't really agree with him being an idol (leo says izumi was having isses at home around checkmate/war era). given that they put so much time and effort into having izumi model, i suppose that wouldn't be too surprising, but i think it's important to have some kind of breaking point like the argument scene bc in next door, izumi talks about how his parents treated him growing up and that just makes me think that he probably didn't have much say in his own life and there's just something about being an idol being his first big decision that idk hits a little different and there is more to an extent on this concept in the next chapter in comparing himself to leo and just kind of being like ,, huh...

last thing, so aside from the ending of the beginning section of the chapter, i feel so smart about the ending line of this chapter bc mama's pancakes come up in portrait and there's even a baby izumi homescreen line about it and it's meant to serve as an apology rather than her actually apologizing but i feel like u could take it a few ways but akhg felt so smart when i came up w the ending of the chapter. and i felt the same way when i thought of the first chapter ending and u guys will not like me for that one btu aksdgh <33

baby's first friendship next time 🎉🎉🎉🎉