#I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not
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Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies
#personal#taking a brief break from it bc the feeling hasnt quite overwhelmed me yet but i dont think I'm going to be okay by the end of it!#its asking me to consider what my strengths are. what kind of role I'd like to have in the industry when i graduate#these are questions that i SHOULD certainly have answers to but they kind of just make me not wanna be alive yk? bc i have no answers#I'm not really good at much. like the things I'm best at I'm still completely unexceptional#what are my strengths? don't have any. next question#what job do i want to have in the industry? well that requires an answer to the first question doesn't it#not to mention it requires me to think about graduating and having a job and I've simply never imagined myself getting that far#and i can only give this so much of my attention span bc I'm also thinking about how hard i failed my modules from last semester#my best grade this year has been a c#one of them is a marginal fail meaning i do the reassessment this year (i think)#the other is a hard f. what does that mean? do i resit the entire course next year? maybe#and i can't look it up just yet bc i need to make it through the lecture bc I'm really far behind this other module already#and it's only week 3 and i have a presentation tomorrow#and if i stop watching it im not convinced I'll bring myself to start watching again!#so instead i was just sitting here trying not to get overwhelmed by all of the things i should be thinking about!!!#that's why I'm making the post tbh. just to organise my thoughts and get it out of my system and give myself time to breathe#and my phone keeps buzzing while i type and if it does that one more time i will launch us both out of the window I'm so fucking done#semester has barely begun and im so fucking overwhelmed already#I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not#this can't be how everyone else is experiencing life. surely#like dude I'm so out of fucking touch w the concept of being a human#so in summary: augh the agonies
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