#I've had more and more hibernate in pain days recently

[blackbackedjackal]

I've been having a terrible time with work for the past year or so, and I don't think I can take much more. Everything is in chaos and people act like it's my job to fix things or care. I'm at my physical limit and I'm just praying this new system will make it easier and I won't have to do much more manual labor. Like I'm genuinely concerned it may effect my ability to do taxidermy if this goes on much longer.

[glittergutts]

I possibly fucked up a ligament in my hip and it's been bad timing because I just got feeling good enough to exercise. It actually hurts less when I'm standing or hula hooping than when I'm sitting in my bed. Ice has been helpful but I can only take Tylenol and no ibuprofen because of my stomach ulcer. I don't know why I developed all these stupid health problems so quickly I swear other than the fibromyalgia pains I'm pretty fucking healthy or at least I thought.

But yea, I got new hula hoops for my birthday, and they finally showed up last week, so me and the kids have been really enjoying them. The weather has been strangely perfect recently for November but I'll take it. It's one of my fall/winter goals to get outside and enjoy every even remotely nice weather day.

I've been off the seroquil a month and all other phych meds for about 4. The color is really coming back in the world. I keep finding myself looking up the sky and smiling at just how beautiful life has been and the way the stars and birds in the sky are really speaking to me in a way I maybe haven't ever felt. I feel like I'm coming out of a hibernation. I have so much more energy to do life and play with my kids and get stuff done. I've had a lot of small wins recently being able to accomplish goals and new projects around the house.

It's taken years of fighting depression and addiction and trying to recover to get to this place of peace I've found for me and my family. I'm feeling overwhelmingly positive about life in the next year+ and all the amazing things that will come my way if I keep putting in the work every day. I'm proud of myself for learning how to show up for myself instead of just for other people. Even in silly snall ways like washing the dishes and preparing the coffee pot the night before feels like showing up fir myself because I can make myself do it most everyday even when I feel like shit and it's improved the absolute fuck out of my morning to wake up to coffee and a clean kitchen.

For the first time in my whole life, I'm excited about the winter. The seasonal depression used to wreck me, but since getting a dog, it hasn't been bad. I can feel myself coming back to life and really enjoying the little things everyday.

[elwenyere]

13, 68, and 75 for the ask meme? (and best of luck with grading; I always found it such a pain in the ass!)

Thank you so much for the asks, Coats!!! <3 Questions are from this post.

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I love using music to help me get absorbed in a fic! What kind of music gets me in the right mood varies a lot depending on my level of focus and energy (some days I can't listen to words and write different words at the same time). I shared a couple of recent writing faves here, and I've also been listening to some Explosions in the Sky and Stars of the Lid for instrumental/atmospheric tunes (especially "First Breath After Coma" and "Hiberner Toujours") and some early-aughts alt when I need a lyrical caffeine kick (especially The Knife's "Marble House" and Miracle Fortress's "Poetaster").

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

So, so many. I think I pick up inspiration, ideas, and instincts from pretty much every fic I read, and it's often been the case for me that it's a fic that really makes me fall hard for a ship (even more than the canon media). If I had to name a few stories that I think have shaped what I aspire to do with my fics, a completely non-exhaustive list would include scifigrl47's Toasterverse (and especially "Four (Or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark," which was my gateway drug to fandom generally) for found family and group scenes that are funny and full of heart; Yavannie's "Mission To Monte Carlo" for a perfect blend of plot, pining, and pestering (affectionate) with a hell of a first-kiss payoff; and whimsicalimages's "in our hearts some ancient song" for super satisfying canon divergence and delicious hurt/comfort.

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

For my very first fandom event in December of 2020, I wrote a bodyguard AU for MCU Steve/Tony that I was incredibly nervous about. It was only my second attempt at an AU, and parts of it fought me pretty hard: I think I was still fussing around with edits *minutes* before the deadline to submit. But in the end the readers for the event were so generous and kind, and since then I've thought a lot about how much fandom hospitality can mean to new writers.

Thank you for these great questions!!! And thank you, too, for the grading good wishes: I will need all the energy I can get after this particular semester. <3

[hotspringfairy]

February 16, 2021

It's hard for me to stay under 200 pounds it would seem. I was excited about getting to 199 months ago, but I've been fluctuating between about 196 and 201 for what feels like a while now.

I just know it will be better once I move, hopefully in a couple months, especially since I don't have my own kitchen right now and the one I'm using isn't always available to me. I know it will be better.

But I can't use that as an excuse to not keep trying my best right now. It's too easy for me to just let go completely because it's hard right now. I gotta hang in there for just a few more months, but that time is important.

I just struggle so much with where I'm living right now. Every day off I have, I struggle to eat the way I want to. I feel like I can set myself up for so much more success if I just had a freaking kitchen. I also prioritized keeping a big clear space in the very little living area I share with my best friend, but we've needed it recently for other things and I haven't had the space to do my workouts or play VR/ Beat Saber.

So, this is my reminder to keep doing my best and fighting through the obstacles, even if they seem unfairly stacked against me. Especially after I took 2 days off work thanks to the reappearance of my (rather painful) cyst, and then had a 3-day weekend, all during record low temperatures. You could say I've had a small 5-day hibernation.

Here's a pic I sent to my best friend of me in my new hoodie- he likes to make fun of the basic-ass clothes I buy from Wal Greens, but I love them and was desperately craving some coziness. Is very soft. Getting cozy > comfort eating

[bl4cklabyrinth]

Live Report: MY FIRST STORY TOUR 2019 Semi-Final at Kobe World Memorial Hall

Disclaimer: Take note that all of these reports were translated by ear, so there is no assurance of accuracy. Because of this, please do not retranslate my work. I am no Japanese or English native.

I am only reposting the relevant MCs from my Twitter thread for archive purposes. Please check my tweets to read more about my thoughts on the show.

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from MFS’ official Twitter

Setlist

SE

不可逆リプレイス

Black Rail

ブラック・スワン

花-0714-(Re:arrange)

monologue

虚言NEUROSE

KING & ASHLEY

mine

君のいない夜を越えて

終焉レクイエム (Acoustic ver.)

Love Letter (Acoustic ver.)

LET IT DIE (Acoustic ver.)

Band session

無告

Missing You

Weight of my pride (Pay money To my Pain cover)

MONSTER

絶体絶命

ACCIDENT

モノクロエフェクター

REVIVER

With You

Encore

THE OVER (UVERworld cover)

LET IT DIE

ALONE

Story about Weight Loss

Hiro: Anyway, this has no relation (to the acoustic session) whatsoever, but didn’t I get super thin?

Kid’z: You did! Tell us more! You really did lose weight! Nob too!

Hiro: We declared during Hall Tour that we’d lose weight within one month, but we couldn’t do it. We made a promise though, didn’t we? I did my very best, you know?? I seriously gave it all I got!!

Kid’z: I’ve been avoiding carbs for a long time, and even tried diligently apportioning my meals and stuff like that. But before I knew it, I was already eating curry!

Crowd: *laughs*

Fan: How much weight did you lose?

Hiro: I dropped 6 kg.

Crowd: Ohhh! *claps*

Kid’z: That’s a lot!

Hiro: Amazing, right? On the contrary, I’ve always been fat.

Kid’z: No, seriously.

Hiro: I lost weight so that I can get fat again. I want to get fat so I lose weight. When I’ve lost weight, I’ll gain weight again. It’s a never ending cycle.

Kid’z: Don’t leave it as it is!

Hiro: I get told that all the time. I mean, I’m gonna gain weight before METROCK again anyway.

Kid’z: Isn’t METROCK great though?

Hiro: Can I say this? Why do they hold festivals at such a season?

Kid’z: Because (the weather) is cool? I once thought Doraemon was the one singing.

Hiro: Who you calling 123 cm tall?

Kid’z: Nobita-kun.

Hiro: I’m not the blue geezer.

Kid’z: He isn’t a geezer!

Hiro: He’s a geezer, isn’t he?

Crowd: *laughs*

Hiro: Generally, we release a CD around spring or summer. Then we start tour around autumn, right? From the beginning of fall, Hiroki starts losing weight. Little by little. Then, year end starts rolling in. By the end of the year, tour ends, it becomes production season, and eating Hiroki comes out. Hiroki enters hibernation, just like any other large mammal.

Kid’z: You need to stock up, right?

Hiro: Yep, so I can get through winter. Then it becomes spring again. METROCK is waiting for me, but I don’t want stocked-weight-from-hibernation-at-its-max Hiroki to be exposed there! Why do I keep getting told I got fatter or thinner every time?! Leave me alone!!!

Kid’z: But you did your best, right?

Hiro: ...Yep.

Kid’z: Good job.

Crowd: *claps*

Kid’z: How about Nob? How are you doing?

Nob: I lost 5 kg.

Hiro: You lost weight only because you were sick, right?

Kid’z: Because his tonsils were taken out.

Nob: I haven’t gotten my sense of taste back up until now.

Hiro: Don’t let yourself lose one of your most important senses!

Nob: Some time ago I had pickles and it was the best.

Hiro: What an old man.

Story about Poor Kid’z (figuratively and literally)

Kid’z: This story has no relation to anything we’ve talked about so far, but you (Hiro) started an IG account, right? During Hall Tour. Since then, you did a lot of things to me, like that game with the paper cups and the 10,000 yen you put inside one of them, which I played along with having good intentions in mind. I chose the right cup and you gave me the bill, but you revealed that there was 100,000 yen in the other cups.

Hiro: Yep.

Kid’z: ...I tried that with a friend. I was caught. 100,000 yen.

Hiro: Eh?? They made a winning move, huh.

Kid’z: I was like, “Oh no, what should I do?? Should I take it back?” I wanted to be able to fool someone, to get a taste of how it feels! So I started turning the cups around thinking I could do it like you did. When it was time for them to pick, my friend chose a different cup, and in my head I was all, “No no no, not that!!!” and eventually they got it...

Hiro: That person probably saw my IG post and thought you were an idiot.

Thoughts on Marriage

After Love Letter, Hiro and Kid'z talked about being excited yet nervous to play the next song, since it's been a while since they last played it.

Kid’z: Speaking of which, the person beside me seems to be nervous!!

Nob: *rubbing his palms on his pants*

Kid’z: Can I do a hand check? *touches Nob's palm* It's all sticky!

Hiro: Eh? You're scared of making a miss again? Like in Yokoari? Higedan. Ah! Speaking of which, Satoshi-kun got married! Congratulations!

H&K: *congratulate Nob*

Hiro: Eh? Official?

Kid’z: This is Unofficial.

Hiro: Ah, sorry. Unofficial. He got married, huh... There's been a crazy marriage rush recently... 

Kid’z: Yeah, it's been all over LINE NEWS lately.

Hiro: Right. back number, Higedan, Maple Chogokin.

Kid’z: You're mean for putting Maple Chogokin as last!

Hiro: No no no. *laughs* The marriage rush is insane, right... Right... Insane right... 

Fan: Do you want to get married?

Hiro: ...I don't wanna get married. 

Crowd: Eh???

Hiro: Do you? Someday, I assume. As for me, I don't wanna get married at all. 

Kid’z: *in a teasing tone* Is it because you don't have a partner?

Hiro: *taunting tone* Ha? Ha? Ha? What the hell are you saying, you.

Kid’z: Ah, sorry we had a little quarrel.

Hiro: Let's get a divorce first!

Kid’z: What the hell is this breakup!

Poor Nob

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from Hiro’s IG post

Hiro: Anyway, are we good? You (Nob) still seem nervous. How are his fingers?

Kid’z: They're tender. 

Hiro: If I had to play it in a room like this, I'd be pissed.

Nob: *strums a tune*

Kid’z: It's that song!! It's definitely that song, right? Can you do it, Nob bear? Are you alright? You practiced last night without sleeping.

Kid’z: Give him your support.

Crowd: Cute!! You can do it!!!

Kid’z: The pressure on you is rising, huh.

Hiro: *in an old man voice* You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!

Kid’z: Eh? What was that voice? Father?

Hiro: *taunting tone* Ha? What the hell are you saying. Who you calling father, come home and I'll kill you.

Kid’z: Ah, sorry. Father, I apologize.

Hiro: to Nob You okay? Dududadududa~ (T/N: the intro of LET IT DIE) The last song for the acoustic session. Please listen, LET IT DIE.

Then, Hiro crouched down from his seat and kneeled, looked at Nob closely, and so did Kid’z. Nob stared back, aced the dududadududa intro and everybody clapped for him! However, Nob made a mistake towards the very end, playing the last string of notes twice. When they were walking back to the main stage, Hiro put his arm around Nob and teased in a mocking tone, "Hey, in LET IT DIE, in LET IT DIE, hey, during the acoustic set, hey, I was satisfied with the beginning, but in the middle of the song, hey, you made a mistake, right? Even if you were doing so well." When they got back to the main stage, Nob bowed down in apology.

Weight of my pride MC

Hiro: Your voice has been heard! There were a lot of requests for PTP, and in my heart, PTP is my eternal hero. It shouldn't be just us; so that he can also hear your voices, shout as loud as you can Kobe!!! Next song is called Weight of my pride!

Check out their version of the performance at Saitama Super Arena here:

モノクロエフェクター MC

Hiro: How are we doing Kobe? I thought everyone in Kobe could handle it, you know? Aren't y'all drinking too much milk tea? Your nipples are gonna become tapioca if you drink too much milk tea, you know? Well, if you're sure you're not drinking too much then you should be able to handle it, so let's all dance together!!

Reviver MC

Hiro: Thank you so much for today! It's been a great day, I'm really grateful. I've always been alone. I've lost so many people I didn't want to lose, and I've let go of things I didn't want to part with many times. I might not be able to change the world with music, but because of music, I met the members, I met all of you, and it made me think that my life was pretty impressive. I want to believe it was my destiny to meet all of you here tonight, so let's keep walking together Kobe!!!

With You MC

Hiro: Thank you so much for today, Kobe!!! After this, the tour will be ending soon. Thinking about it makes me sad, but knowing that you will all be supporting us next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, and even after 10 years makes me feel very grateful. But there's one thing I want to say before today ends: Kobe, I love you!!!

THE OVER MC

Hiro: How was it? MFS' UVERworld. Did I become Hiroki∞? This song was really difficult. The way the lyrics jump, especially during the part before the last chorus.

Kid’z: I didn't learn that note.

Hiro: *emphasizes the difficult enunciation of a line from the song* Unbelievable, I had a hard time remembering it.

Kid’z: The instruments were tough, too. Even Nob was complaining, there were notes he had never seen before.

Hiro: I couldn't match the timing of the lyrics either. I had to enter at an exact time, 3 characters in one second!! If MFS were to do it, we'd go with a lower key.

Kid’z: You say MFS but it's your key, right? Your voice is hella loud you know.

Hiro: It's because if I'm alone, then it's not MFS.

Kid’z: Nah, we were able to match the key, but only you can sing it that high, right? (T/N: They seemed to have raised the key by 2 octaves)

Hiro: You guys thought the cover song was only Weight of my pride, didn't you? You're wrong! We did UVERworld but we received many other requests. There were a lot of PTP songs in the tags. Who else was it... Sheena Ringo, Oral, and King Gnu too.

Kid’z: Weirdly enough, B'z was highly requested too. 

Hiro: It'd be weird if I sang their songs.

Crowd: Sing! Sing! Sing!

Hiro: 萎えぇぇ！萎えぇぇ！萎えぇぇぇぇー (T/N: Nae is Japanese slang that roughly translates to “no” or “ugh” in this context) Wait a minute. Change the song.

Kid’z: *offended tone* Huh?

Hiro: Well then, sing a line that starts with A!

Hiro: You're an Ultra Soul Idiot. Do you know any other song apart from Ultra Soul?

Kid’z: Of course I do! Don't you? All of you? I love them more than anyone else, I'm even in the fanclub! こいよ！！

Kid’z: *sings a B'z line that starts with A*

Hiro: Gi!

Kid’z: Gi? *sings a line that starts with Gi* I told you, I can do anything.

Teru: Yu!

Kid’z: Yu? YUME JANAI ARE MO KORE MO SONO TE DE DOA MO AKEMASHOU, SHUKUFUKU GA HOSHII NARA KANASHIMI O SHIRI HITORI DE NAKIMASHOU, SOSHITE KAGAYAKU ULTRA SOUL!

Crowd: HEY!!!

Hiro: Oi, Teruki!! Why did you say "yu"?! You should've let him build up first before making him sing "yu"!! It was too early to make him sing that as the third song!

Kid’z: It felt really good!!

Hiro: Why did you say "yu" so quickly?!

Teru: I just made a mistake.

Hiro: Don't be an airhead!!

Kid’z: I'm really grateful!

Nob’s Redemption Arc

After their UVERworld cover, Hiro asked the audience what they should do next. The crowd started screaming different songs, to which Hiro said "I'm seriously fine with anything." Nob suddenly played the first three notes of LET IT DIE, to which Hiro said, "Ah, from earlier?" Kid'z said, "He made a mistake a while ago, so let's give him another chance." Then Nob started practicing. The crowd screamed, "You can do it!!!" then Nob walked towards the center stage and did a moonwalk. Hiro was all, "You can't do it, you're not Michael Jackson!" then sang a MJ line and howled his signature "Woo!"

Final MC

Hiro: Today was truly an amazing day, thank you all so much. We had such an intense gathering here at Kobe World Memorial Hall. The first Coming Kobe was also held here. We have so, so, so many memories here in this place. Right now, we're still on our way to reaching our dream. From hereon, we don't know if we could make such a big dream come true. We still have a long way there, but we're doing our best every year, making music for everyone and visiting various places as well. Next year, and the year after that, and even after 10 years, it would be nice if we could all make amazing memories together. Thank you so much! We're definitely coming back, Kobe!!

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from Hiro’s IG post

[larrygirls]

I just recently started reading fics again. This list will get better/longer as I continue to read more. This was updated with everything i've read up until 10/10/22. If you decide to read any of these make sure to read the tags. I don't want anybody to get uncomfortable. You guys can also send in request as well if you would like :)

🖤All My Favorite Conversations by goldglitter075 Word Count: 2K Summary: An incredibly self indulgent fic featuring way too many pet names, an adorable lesbian couple, and Louis Tomlinson being terrible at ice-skating

🖤You Are Everything by caffineaddict Word Count: 2K Summary: Louis is in love with his best friend/flat mate Harry, lately the pain of knowing he'd never return Louis' feelings has become unbearable. He doesn't know how to handle this so he does what he does best - write. He had every intention of deleting the musings when he was done...that is until he gets an alarming phone call that makes him forget to close the tab or delete it. Harry was aware something was wrong with Louis for the past couple days but had no idea what it was and anytime he would ask the older boy would just brush him off and change the subject. Walking into Louis' room to borrow his laptop, Harry leaves with way more knowledge than he was ever supposed to know.

🖤You Should Be Here With Me by dimpled_halo Word Count: 3K Summary:  Louis is home for the holidays and doesn't expect his mum to invite his ex and his family over for Christmas. All the feelings he's had bottled up since breaking up with Harry before going to uni come back in full force.

🖤Send Me Your Pillow by flowercrownfemme Word Count: 3K Summary:  Harry is embarrassed to realize he's nesting but can't stop stealing Louis' things for his nest.

🖤May Your Every Wish Come True by sweetrevenge Word Count: 4K Summary:  Harry and Louis reconnect during the Holidays, it's kind of fate.

🖤Every Time We Touch by wabadabadaba Word Count: 5K Summary:  Louis laughed when he heard the term professional cuddler for the first time. His doctor let Louis laugh and then explained the purpose behind the profession and how it could help Louis. It took a few weeks but Louis finally scheduled an appointment, now all he had to do was leave his car and walk into the house. or the one where Louis is suffering from touch deprivation so he goes to see Harry who is a professional cuddler.

🖤Hello Darling by zanni_scaramouche Word Count: 5K Summary: As CEO, Mr. Tomlinson is used to spending more nights curled on his office coach than his bed, but this time it isn't an impending merger or new client deal keeping him hibernated on the fortieth floor this Christmas Eve. A city wide blizzard warning, a power outage, and a dismal lack of tea leaves him hours away from what he expects to be one of the more pathetic Christmas mornings of his life. That is, until the new bright eyed intern scares the living crap out of him.

🖤I See Your Stars Begin To Shine by sweetkisses Word Count: 5K Summary: Harry is an alpha that is in love with his very oblivious omega friend, Louis.

🖤Naturally by Neondiamond Word Count: 5K Summary: When PE teacher Louis first gets assigned to be a chaperone on a weekend long camping trip with a bunch of high school seniors, he’s not too excited about it. That changes when he finds out his fellow Music teacher Harry, who Louis happens to have a massive crush on, is also coming

🖤And I'm Putting My Heart Out On Display by localopa Word Count: 6K Summary:  Harry gets cheated on & so does Louis. They find comfort in each other.

🖤All I Do the Whole Day Through by lululawrence Word Count: 6K Summary: Louis reached up and grabbed the ridiculously thick jumper that had the planets all over it and slammed the wardrobe doors shut. It was only as he turned around that he realized why Harry’s bedroom door had been shut. There was a nest on Harry’s bed. But why was Harry using Louis’ clothes and items that probably smelled like him in his nest?

🖤Something Blue & Someone New by littleroverlouis Word Count: 6K Summary: Single Alpha Louis moves into a new apartment building and doesn't realize he misses courting someone until meeting his next door neighbor, a charming Omega named Harry. Louis is working up the nerve to officially ask him to court, but what if Harry secretly beats him to the punch?

🖤Wasting My Time by prettylouis Word Count: 7K Summary: Harry is in love with Louis. He can’t do anything about it, until he can. Louis is in love with Harry. He doesn’t have a chance, until he does.

🖤Kisses Like Snowflakes by stylesthebrave Word Count: 7K Summary: Harry is stranded in the snow and Louis is there to help.

🖤Just A Touch Of Your Love by thegirlontheblackhoodie Word Count: 12K Summary: Harry is a touch starved omega trying to get through it on his own. Louis happens to be the only alpha around to realize it and offers to help.

🖤Love Is A War That Two Must Fight by cathyelisabeth1 Word Count: 12K Summary: The one where Louis starts getting 'creepy' notes on his desk and is forced to hang out with Harry Styles because Niall insists he is lovely. Louis disagrees.

🖤Love Mends the Pain by justalarryblog Word Count: 12K Summary: Marcel Twist, better known as Harry Styles, is a well-known model around the world. One day, he was invited to take part in a photoshoot for the new Olympic uniforms for the British athletes. What he didn't expect was for Louis, his ex would reappear in his life, bringing back memories and feelings that Marcel wished he'd forgotten.

🖤Baby, You’re The End Of June by disgruntledkittenface Word Count: 13K Summary: In which Harry courts Louis. Entirely by accident.

🖤Kiss From A Rose by lovelarry10 Word Count: 15K Summary:  Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention.

🖤Don't Be Scared Pretty Kitty by ttomlinstyles Word Count: 15K Summary:  Louis was born a hybrid and was adopted by a man who was terrible. The man dies and Louis is taken away to a foster home full of kids who bully him, he's 16 and is very scared and doesn't eat and never speaks out to people. He was then sent to another foster home with no children. That's where Harry comes and takes him home.

🖤Your Touch Is The Only Thing I Feel by 2tiedships2 Word Count: 15K Summary: The one where Louis refuses to settle for just any alpha despite intense touch deprivation. Fortunately Harry isn't just any alpha.

🖤Flowers Don’t Tell (They Show) by loulicate Word Count: 16K Summary: Harry is a lawyer, Louis owns a flower shop. Harry goes into his shop to buy his mom flowers and falls in love with the cute florist boy.

🖤Everywhere & Nowhere by 2tiedships2 Word Count: 16K Summary: Niall took a seat and said, “Apparently Louis’ downstairs neighbor is a fan of giving Louis creepy gifts. Maybe I should go introduce myself and tell him that Louis actually prefers food.” “What has he given you?” Liam asked. Louis shrugged as it were no big deal. “There was a rabbit’s foot keychain on the door a little after he left from introducing himself and there was a small teddy bear sitting by my door tonight. Obviously I can’t prove it’s from him, but they seem to have his scent. I could be wrong though.” “Wow,” Liam said, looking deep in thought. “That’s old school.” “What’s old school?“ Niall asked. "Giving creepy gifts?” "I’ve never known an alpha to do it, to be honest, but he’s courting you.” Louis couldn’t contain his look of disbelief directed at Liam. "He’s courting me. Like some sort of romantic shit they’d do in the 1800s or something?”

🖤Harry You're No Good Alone by lucy_in_the_sky Word Count: 16K Summary: Harry struggles with insomnia and loneliness, almost turning to cuddle therapy when his best friend Louis reaches out to lend helping hand.

🖤Outshining The Stars by thelarenttrap Word Count: 18K Summary: Louis is RV camping with his retired grandparents and avoiding life. Meanwhile, a boy with tiny yellow shorts and tattoos works at the campground’s marina.

🖤Frost Covers All by ihavetoomuchfreetime Word Count: 19K Summary:  An AU where Harry and Louis are pretend boyfriends with pretend feelings, but then it's not pretend anymore, feelings ensue. Or a friends-to-lovers/fake relationship when harry needs a boyfriend for a family thing, and louis obliges.

🖤A Springtime’s Wilt, An Autumn’s Bloom by snowcaplou Word Count: 20K Summary:  Harry is Louis’ personal chauffeur, and although he hides his feelings for his boss behind a wall of rigid professionalism, Louis still manages to squeeze through the cracks.

🖤Pleasing Inc,. by maury_456321 Word Count: 25K Summary: Louis starts working for CEO Harry, secret nesting and thievery ensues.

🖤I’m Gonna Keep This Love, If You Let Me by pixies Word Count: 26K Summary:  Louis makes Harry pretend to be his boyfriend one night out. The rest is history.

🖤Runaway Darling by solvetheminourdreams Word Count: 26K Summary:  An au where Louis hates weddings, Harry loves them, and together they help a bride skip hers.

🖤I Knew You Were Waiting For Me by lovelarry10 Word Count: 26k Summary: Harry has been hearing his soulmates voice for years now, and he's just desperate to meet the person he knows he's meant to be with. Louis has come to think that he's destined to never meet his soulmate. A chance camping holiday with their best friends just might end in all of their dreams coming true.

🖤Never Been A Fan Of Change by fearsparks Word Count: 27K Summary: Harry and Louis have relied on each other for over two years now, always turning to each other every time they need anything from touch to pheromones. But after Harry's omega unexpectedly causes him to drop in the pub, their relationship is no longer the same.

🖤This Shifting Ground by zarah5 Word Count: 28K Summary: University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.

🖤Don’t Know It’s Lost Til You Find It by ohpleaselarry Word Count: 30K Summary: Maybe it’ll be better this way. Maybe Louis just needs to distance himself, get over his crush so Harry doesn’t have to worry about his obsessive friend who feels too much and says too little. He wonders what this girl is like. What she looks like, what conversations they had to make Harry fall for her in three days. If maybe she’s just stellar in bed. If she smells like heaven or if it’s just the fact she’s a girl. He wonders and wonders, resists the temptation to stare at the alpha, and gets exactly no work done.

🖤Wanna Be Somebody (To Someone) by starryharry Word Count: 30K Summary: Harry tells Niall he's seeing someone. (He's not). The lie leads Harry to Louis, and an honest confession drives them into a one-month relationship that changes everything.

🖤Something About Liminal Spaces by kingsofeverything Word Count: 34K Summary: Searching for inspiration for his latest book, and hoping distance will help heal his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson heads to the village of Piha on the west coast of New Zealand’s north island. There he meets Harry Styles. Fifteen years older than Harry, Louis tries to keep his distance, but Harry is impossible to avoid and harder to ignore.

🖤Someone To Fly Home To by kingsofeverything Word Count: 34K Summary: Louis is a 55 year old pilot who wants someone to fly home to. Harry swipes right. Louis and Harry’s marriage ended more than a decade ago, but fate keeps bringing them back together.

🖤Now You’re In My Life by we_are_the_same Word Count: 34K Summary: Harry loves romance. In theory, anyway. He loves the romantic movies, the careful brush of fingers against the back of a neck, the hand holding and the endless gazes. He loves the possibilities, the tension and the wonder. He loves the idea of falling in love, finding someone to come home to. In reality, it’s a little different. Because as much as Harry loves the concept of dating, the reality sucks.

🖤We Both Got Nothing to Hide by lovelarry10 Word Count: 43K Summary: Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

🖤Sand In My Shoes, Head Over Feet by awriterwrites Word Count: 44K Summary: The last thing Louis wants to do is babysit a bunch of kids this summer. Especially not for three weeks at his family's summer home. No, he'd rather stay home and wallow in self-pity. He definitely doesn't want to sleep under the same roof as his sister's friend, who happens to be a spectacle of a boy: wide eyed, curly haired, long legged and virtual sex on legs.

🖤The Boys Of Summer by afirethatcannotdie Word Count: 45K Summary:  In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry's a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they're forbidden to date.

🖤Your Touch Shouldn’t Make Me Feel Like This by thinlines Word Count: 48K Summary: Uni AU in which Alpha Harry has been in love with his omega friend for the longest time and one motorbike trip to the countryside with Louis made him realize that he could no longer hold back his feelings.

🖤The Recklessness In Water by larryon Word Count: 50K Summary:  Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

🖤Maybe You’ll Like the Way I Am by lululawrence Word Count: 55K Summary: When Louis’ alpha neighbor asks him to pretend to be his omega for a week, Louis immediately says no. He has too much he’s dealing with on his own, and he swore to himself he’d never get that close to an alpha again. Unable to hold to that resolve once guilt sets in, Louis finds that maybe fumbling his way through a fake relationship for a week was exactly what he needed to finally be able to move on.

🖤Suicidal Chemistry by sullenlarry Word Count: 58K Summary: As long as he can remember, Harry has always been sure of one thing: he’s in love with his oblivious best-friend, Louis. There’s just one minor problem….Louis has depression. Harry works at a bakery, but he’s really made a full time job out of trying to save Louis from himself. What happens when a quack named Dr. Horan tells him to take Louis on a vacation? Individual feelings will be explored…but can Louis love him back or is the will to live too far gone?

🖤The Nightingale by thebluejay1 Word Count: 66K Summary: Louis Tomlinson is a daily customer at the local bakery. His life changes when he meets Harry Styles, the boy behind the register. But when Harry finds out about Louis' abusive boyfriend, he does everything in his power to protect him. Through it all, they become closer. Will Louis choose fear over true love?

🖤Just A Flower Boy by larryruinedme Word Count: 70K Summary: Harry Styles is a clumsy, flower crown-wearing, openly gay junior with only two true friends, Niall and Zayn. Louis Tomlinson is the school's attractive, straight football captain, with a small body and a big personality. As fate will have it, Harry has a huge, unrequited, utterly hopeless crush on Louis. Fate is thrown out the window the day that Harry and Louis find themselves partnered up for a history project. Harry starts to receive notes from a secret admirer, Louis starts to get jealous of Harry's budding friendship with senior Nick Grimshaw, Zayn and Liam develop a thing for each other, and Niall is the best mate anyone could have asked for. And suddenly, Harry's crush on Louis doesn't seem so utterly hopeless anymore.

🖤Lost & Found In Oblivion by thinlines Word Count: 74K Summary: Omega Louis decided to hire an alpha for his heat to ease his touch deprivation, but little did he know everything would grow into so much more.

🖤Like An Endless Summer by objectlesson Word Count: 87K Summary: Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’ formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

🖤Have Love, Will Travel by kingsofeverything Word Count: 97K Summary:  Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series. It soon becomes obvious to their viewers that there’s something more than friendship between them. Eventually, they figure it out.

🖤Loved You First bysnowy38 Word Count: 100K Summary: Harry has lived his life ruled by anxiety, bullied by overbearing work-mates and ridiculed for his geeky look. When a new boss starts Harry can barely look him in the eye but Louis appears to be on his side. Soon Harry develops feelings for the protective and supportive Louis but Louis tries to fight it at first. There’s rumours about Louis at his last work place and his penchant for his secretaries so Harry has a right to feel insecure. Harry slowly lets his curls break free as Louis thaws him and they embark on a new beginning together.

🖤Give Me Truths by iwillpaintasongforlou Word Count: 110K Summary: Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together. Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy

🖤Tired Tired Sea by mediawhore Word Count: 113K Summary:  As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

🖤Mute by troubledpro Word Count: 122K Summary:  How is love supposed to speak, when one can’t even choke out the words? Louis’ life was a joke through his witty words. Harry’s life was a joke through his lack of words. Louis was classed as a normal child; mentally and physically. Harry was classed as an abnormal child; mentally and physically. Louis could speak. Harry could not. Harry had progressive mutism. Louis did not.

🖤Unbelievers by isthatyoularry Word Count: 136K Summary: It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

🖤Lights Will Guide You Home by orphan_account Word Count: 137K Summary: Louis Tomlinson is his school’s resident bad boy and easily the most liked person there. He’s loud and confident and popular. He spends most of his time abusing his parent's money or partying or playing football. He also spends a good deal of it obsessing over the quiet curly boy in his English class, but no one really needs to know that. Harry Styles is more or less invisible at the same school (unless he’s being harassed). He’s shy and painfully insecure and quiet. He spends most of his time crying on his bedroom floor with a razor pressed against his skin or trying (and failing) to think of reasons to stay alive. So, of course, it’s inevitable that they fall for each other.

🖤Walk That Mile by purpledaisy Word Count: 149K Summary:  A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

🖤Love Is A Word You Gave It A Name by cuckootrooke Word Count: 158K Summary: After two decades in brutal show business, Louis Tomlinson is trying to restore his tranquility of mind in the peace of Northern Europe where the sun barely sets, Maria's bar is always open, and young Harry has an irresistible spark in his eyes.

🖤The Longer The Wait The Sweeter The Kiss by pleasinglouisWord Count: 160K Summary: It all started with a letter from his grandmother’s Executor of the Estate. His life had been just fine in New York, he’d had a great internship, more friends than he knew what to do with, and a powerful family name to provide a million opportunities for him. But the minute he’d received that letter a desire for more was born. That was how he wound up here, stranded on the side of a dusty old road with a broken down car and a carry-on full of dreams.

🖤Fading by tothemoonmydear Word Count: 202K Summary:  Louis knows about beauty; the combination of qualities that pleases the aesthetic senses. He creates that combination every day in the garments he designs while studying fashion at uni. The cut of the design, the color of the fabric, the intricacy of the stitching; it all comes together to create something beautiful. When the science student with the long legs and dimpled smile agrees to model for him, Louis decides he’s found beauty personified. Harry just thinks Louis needs someone to show him how beautiful he is.

🖤Shake Me Down by agreatperhaps12 Word Count: 208K Summary:  Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

🖤Of Mates & Men by bananaheathen Word Count: 420K Summary:  In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

[forgedobsidian]

Hi. I hope you don't mind if I ask for some advice? I used to write fanfiction all the time but then I started to get a lot of anxiety about my writing. Nothing I try to write is good enough for me, and I haven't been able to finish and upload anything since around 2011 even though I've had plenty of plot bunnies. Do you have any advice that might help me start writing again?

Sure!! I’ll give what advice I can!!

I actually went through a period of not-posting-anything, myself. A spike of anxiety when one of my fics went completely review-less killed my motivation to post anything. It lasted about a year and a half, and only in the past couple months have I really gotten back into fic writing. Here is what I found helped:

- Getting in contact with other writers makes things fun!! I follow about 7 other fic folks, and talking to each other about what we write or even just leaving really long rambly reviews is a great way to meet really awesome people and boost some writing confidence. 

- Sometimes you just run out of steam. It’s okay to take breaks, even if they seem terribly long and you don’t want to disappoint any readers with rare updates or new posts. It’s chill to take your time. I know anxiety can be a real pain when you feel like you have to be constantly working on or posting stuff, but as both a reader and a writer I can say that it’s really important to take your time and only post when you want to. 

- Write down those plot bunnies!! Keeping track of your ideas is a good way to keep your creativity going, and then if you get burnt out on one idea there’s always another to keep you entertained. It’s okay if you never finish all of them. Fic is supposed to be fun, and there isn’t a ‘quota’ that needs to be filled. 

- Understand that the everpresent possibility of growth does not detract from you skill in the now. Chances are you grew a lot in writing skill and really developed your writing style from that first fic up to your most recent writings. I know I did!! You have skill right now, and it’ll grow the more you write. 

- Being unsure about your writing means that you’re holding yourself to a personal standard, which is a-okay! I have seen a few fic writers say that they were really able to write well when they stopped caring so much, but that’s not something I can do, personally. I like to feel good about what I’m writing and posting. When it comes to feeling like I’m not doing my absolute best, I like to remember that we are always harder on ourselves than anyone else will be, and I can always come back to it later. And creativity has it’s own time of hibernation, so expecting yourself to be constantly at 100% all of the time isn’t gonna work. ALSO: what might be something simple and rough and not-that-great to you will be pure art to someone else. 

               - ALSO: the bare minimum for fic is that it’s understandable. As long                    as you’re hitting that mark, any extra effort you put into it is just                          making it better!

- It’s okay to feel anxious about your writing. It’s a pretty common feeling, actually. I go through a solid hour of avoiding the Internet after I post something because I can get really jittery. When it comes to dealing with anxiety, I’ve found that stepping away from what I’m doing helps give me some space to think. I can go over some of my old stuff, or my more recent stuff, and it’s like “Hey, I did that, so I can totally do this.” Anxiety is such a pain, but it’s normal, and it can be worked around. 

- Splitting up longer works into multiple chapters helps if you get an idea that seems to keep growing the more you write it. If it turns into something REALLY LONG AND INTIMIDATING, it’s okay to put it on the shelf for when you feel ready. 

- Finishing something is always interesting. Unless I have an ending really planned out beforehand, I always feel like I should have been able to fit in more or write it better or that I made it too long and focused on the wrong things. If you’re really unsatisfied with it, rewriting some scenes or even the whole thing might help (scary, but it works). Also, since it’s fic, you can always go back and edit or add more chapters or a sequel or two if you really want to. 

- Posting work is hard! It’s sending out something you worked on, something you put time into, and you don’t know how it’ll be received or if anyone will like it or even if you’re proud of what you created. I post-and-run, honestly. Thinking back over all the effort I put into something sometimes gives me that push to click ‘Publish,’ though sometimes I just have to wait for another day or so. Then I usually feel more prepared and confident, even if I haven’t done any more work on it. I’ve also seen some folks just post little snippits of stuff they have in progress to get feedback, so that might help to sort of ‘test the waters.’

I hope these help!! Though this is just what I personally found useful when it came to writing again, so they might not work for you. I won’t tell you to make writing a habit, that at 5:00 each night you HAVE to sit down and you have to write at least 500 words. Fanfiction should be something you enjoy. If a long time passes before you feel like you might enjoy it again, then that’s okay. Self-compassion when it comes to your writing is more helpful in the long run than self-admonishment. 

So, overall, being gentle with yourself and remembering that you are always growing and developing is incredibly important.  You can only do you best - which will vary from day to day - at a given moment, and that’s more than enough.  

Hope I could help even just a little!! Happy writing!!