#I've got the magic in me | Matt interactions

[trxplehelix]

@tricky-tricky-boys​ continued from here

“I mean I could do those things too...” He muttered, not that he didn’t like Andrew getting protective but he could take care of himself. So he smiled gratefully as Andrew adjusted his tie before nodding and following the other witch down to the car, waiting until they were seated in the back before speaking. “Alright, I will do my best not to embarrass you or anything. But if someone really annoys me, I make no promises about not snapping on them.” Grinning slightly, he nudged Andrew lightly. “And hey, at least you can just claim that you got the sassiest sub there under lock and key. Literally.” He fingered the charm pinned to his suit.

[trxplehelix]

As intoxicating as Andrew found it to have all that power beneath him, Wyatt was finding it differently, if not equally, exhilarating to have someone who could hand all of it; handle all of him. He was so used to always staying in control of himself, but with the pollen set in along with Andrew’s own potent magicks, the blonde was letting it all go as his head was pulled up and he moaned loudly for the Red Witch to hear. Somehow, the hand covering his mouth made it even better, and Wyatt pushed his back flush against Andrew’s chest as he leaned over him and started fucking him how they both needed. Moaning into Andrew’s hand, Wyatt just nodded along as he began reflecting some of the pleasure he was feeling back on his Master. Hours passed, but time meant nothing when all Wyatt could think about was Andrew’s body on his and how good his cock felt ramming inside of him, until the point where they both came, Wyatt with a loud scream, and they were blasted away from each other in a powerful shockwave.

Matt glanced up as he felt Andrew’s warning spell wash over him, immediately frowning and pulling out his phone to call his boyfriend. No answer. Heading into the bathrooms, he orbed from the mall to Andrew’s house, disabling any remaining wards as he walked through. Everything seemed fine, but he sensed Andrew in the conservatory along with... Wyatt? Opening the door, his eyes widened at just how trashed the place looked before his gaze fell on the two of them, laying on the floor, bruised, bloody, sweaty and... naked. A million questions raced through his mind, but for the moment, he lifted Andrew and Wyatt into the air and brought them both to his bedroom, cleaning them up and healing their injuries before settling them both in bed. Setting up his own wards in the conservatory and around the rest of the house, he sat at the foot of the bed and waited to see who would wake up first.

Andrew just growled as he finally sank into him and felt that power lash out. All that power... and it was beneath him. It was intoxicating. The walls of the conservatory trembled, holding on by sheer force of Andrew's and Wyatt's combined protections. As Wyatt spoke on, Andrew just kept going, grabbing a fistful of the boy's hair and using it as leverage as he pounded into him. "So fucking mouthy, aren't you?" His other hand came around to cover Wyatt's mouth, leaning down to growl in his ear. "Fucktoys are silent." He grinned and leaned in more to bite down on Wyatt's shoulder, not slowing his thrusts for even a moment as his magick worked to stimulate Wyatt's body.

It was hours before they finally disconnected. The pollen had settled, and in theor climactic moments, had been blasted apart. Andrew had been hurled across the room, slamming into the glass wall and getting shards embedded into his back from the impact. Bruised, bloody, and sweaty. He slumped to the ground, unconscious as the protects went down... and alarms went up. The spell was designed to notify Andrew. If he was incapacitated... the spell moved to alarm Matthew. A feeling of dread and the word danger.

[admirationandromantics]

Going overboard, 1: Memento Mori

Okay, so first the prologue, and now the first chapter. As I've said before, not all chapters include a Josh-interactions because of accuracy to the game, so you'll just have to live with it. If you haven't read the Prologue, go to my profile, then the masterlist, Josh Washington. You'll find it there. Get ready for tomorrow!

Chapter 1: Memento Mori

After what happened up on the mountain last year, Josh didn’t stay in touch. At first we all tried to talk to him, help him, but we gave up one after another. He talked with Sam a lot. I think she did the most she could until he cut contact. I didn’t want to put too much on him, and we all were in grief as well, so it probably was the best solution. 

Sam and I had regular coffees. It helped us both. We shared stories about them, and she told me about everything which happened that night. The prank wasn’t about me, nor Josh. Not even Beth, but she still had to suffer the consequences. Poor Beth, and poor Hannah. We all knew she had a thing for Mike, but setting her up like that was not okay. I now despised them all, Jessica, Emily, Mike, Matt, Ashley. Matt was such a sweet guy, I couldn’t imagine him standing there with a camera, recording everything. For me though, Ashley hurt the most. I loved her, I truly did, but I cut contact quickly after I got to know about the evening. She sent me a bunch of texts, begging me to talk to her. She was sorry, she was drunk, caught up in the moment, and everyone was doing it so she felt like she had to. She never knew that the aftermath would be as bloody as it did. I still didn’t text her back. 

A month before the anniversary of their disappearance, Sam got a video message from Josh. He invited her up to the cabin again, stating that this would be a way to honour their memory, and relive the experience, but with a good ending. There would be booze, partying and just making new memories. Based on the video, it seemed like he asked everyone in the old group. Everyone except me. I felt hurt. Betrayed in a way. I was one of the few he talked to, cried to. Our relationship didn’t evolve after the event, but I was still there for him, trying to comfort him. Sam told me that I should come with her, but I declined. If he didn’t want me there, it was okay. She couldn’t understand why, but she kept being insistent, urging me to give it a chance. I didn’t have to be there the whole time, and if I wanted to, I could leave the very next day since the bus went through the area once every day. 

It would be good to talk to Josh, maybe even if he didn’t want to. I was selfish, I knew that, but I had to see him. I wanted to see how he was doing, how he was feeling. This also made me think of Chris. He would probably be there, and I hadn’t kept in touch with him either. I felt bad, but at the same time, we weren’t that close. I knew that he still hung out with Ashley sometimes, and maybe that made me a bit afraid. Maybe she would try to contact me through him? Maybe I wasn’t just selfish. Ashley also needed to talk. Talk to me, clear the air. I would let her. I finally agreed to come with Sam up to the cabin. 

***

The bus is empty, except for Sam and I of course. She didn’t pack much, and I didn’t either. I figured that I wouldn’t stay long. I just needed to talk to people, get some weights off my shoulders. The radio is playing, and no surprise, it’s about Beth and Hannah. I hold my composure, trying not to cry. The trip is long, and I end up sleeping on her shoulder for a good amount of it. Sam is watching something on her phone, but I don’t peek. I simply look out the window. There is an eerie feeling to these mountains. I felt the same last year, but this time it feels stronger. The black trees are covered in snow, untouched by animals. 

Finally we reach our stop. The sign says “Blackwood Pines” and hadn’t it been for last year's events, I would still love the name. Being here for the first time felt magical, straight out of Narnia, joining a winter wonderland of mystery. Now, I feel nervous. The air isn’t as fresh, the ground not as hard and the snow was too white. Instead of smelling winter, I smell something musk, like a dead animal or rotten meat. I look over at Sam, and I think she notices too. 

We start walking in silence, through the gate and up the trail. As we walk, she stops. 

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” I whisper, getting anxious. Maybe it’s a wild animal, a wolf or a bear. 

“Hello!?” Sam shouts, and my eyes widen. Why would she do that, what if the animal looks at us as a threat now. I look around, expecting something to pop out, but it’s silent. 

“Sorry, I probably just thought I heard something,” she says, continuing walking. She notices my tenseness. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, absolutely not” I state, looking around again. 

“Hey I get it, this is weird, but we’re doing this for Josh right,” she starts, taking my hand, stopping me. 

“I hate to say it, but you need to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen, and people are just being friendly”

“I know, I know. I just can’t shake off this feeling that there’s something here”

“It’s because of last year. We’re all still thinking about it, so we know how you’re feeling”

I look up at her. She’s right, I’m not alone in this, and we’ve both been there for each other the whole year. 

“Yeah, thanks for the talk. It’s just… well, weird”

“It is, but I think this is good for you. This trip could be a way for you to let go, get some closure. They both would’ve wanted that for you” she says, before pulling me into a hug. I breathe, and some of the tension lifts. Thank God I still have Sam. When we pull away she looks at me, smiling. I smile back, before looking behind her. My mouth opens, eyes widen and my breath hitches. I grab her hand, holding hard. 

“S-Sam, c-c-careful. Stand s-s-till,” I whisper. She holds her breath while searching my face for answers. 

“Boo!” I shout, punching her with both my hands. She screeches, jumps and I feel her pulse in her hand. 

“Got you” I laugh, while she’s still trying to compose herself. 

“Fucking asshole” she says. I can’t stop laughing. 

“You know, you’re going to ‘wolf wolf’ me.”

“I can live with that” I continue laughing, before starting to walk again, her following after. 

“I’m joking, that was out of line, sorry” I say after a while. 

“At least you got to see my ‘frozen’ face”

“Yeah that’s why I laughed” 

We reach the gate, and a piece of paper is pinned on the lock. 

“The gate’s busted, climb over -Chris” 

“I guess we have to climb,” I state, looking at the gate. There are big spikes on the top of the gate, so I look over at the side. It’s a stone wall. 

“Right up my alley” Sam says enthusiastically. Of course it is. 

“I’ll give you a lift first if you take my bag” she says, already taking off her bag. 

“Fine, just don’t throw me over with those strong climber-arms of yours” I reply, taking her bag and making my way to the wall. She puts out her hands and I grab somewhere safe on the wall. She helps me get up, and I jump down the other side, looking up, waiting for her. 

“Gosh, the stones are cold” she complains, finally getting to the top. 

“Should’ve worn gloves” I smile, showing off my red-covered hands in a theatrical manner. She laughs before hopping down. I give her backpack back, and we continue up. 

When we finally arrive at the cable car station, the place seems empty. I see a couple of cars in the parking lot, but don’t want to check who they belong to. One of them must be Josh’s. I walk up to the bench, noticing a backpack and a ringing phone. My curiosity is immense, but I don’t touch it. Sam notices who’s bag it is. 

“Hey Chris!” she yells, looking around for him. 

“Hey guys” he answers, and we both turn around. He seems older, more harsh than the year before, but I don’t comment on it. 

“How are you ladies?”

“Well, as you can expect” Sam answers, still smiling. I smile as well, keeping the mood light. I don’t notice how much I’ve missed him before seeing him now. Something in me breaks a little. 

“Oh, so, I found something kind of amazing”

“What?”

“I’m not gonna tell you got to see for yourself” he smiles, grabbing his backpack and leading us around the house. We get to the other side where we’re met with a shooting range. Barrels and bottles stacked for hitting, as well as bags hanging from the trees. 

“Ta-da! Pretty rad right?” Chris exclaims, loving this a bit too much. Sam forces a smile, guns are not a source of happiness for a pacifist. 

“A gun range on the bottom of a ski lodge” I comment. “How… nordic?”

Chris picks up a gun before looking at me. 

“Well, have you met Josh’s dad?”

“Yeah”

“Then we shouldn’t be surprised” he says before turning and aiming the gun. I hold my breath, not comfortable with this funny clumsy guy holding a death-weapon. He shoots the bags and one of the cans. I’m kind of impressed. 

“Nice shootin Tex” Sam teases, not impressed. I guess it would take something better than shooting to impress her. She fakes an annoyed look before turning my way. 

“Wanna try?”

“You know what, sure. It’s been a while” I say before taking the gun from him, taking off my backpack and laying it beside me. 

“You’ve done this before?”

“Josh has taken me shooting several times, not hunting though, luckily” I smile, remembering how close we felt the first time he showed me how to use it. 

“I bet that’s not the only thing you two have done” he comments, a smirk on his lips. 

“Haha, funny guy” I tease back. Sam holds her laughter. I shoot a couple of bags, stopping when a squirrel jumps on one of the barrels. 

“I guess that’s our sign to start going to the lodge,” I say, leaving the gun and grabbing my bag. 

“Jeez, I wish Josh would take me shooting,” Chris says, and I smile. 

The cable car is coming, and Sam makes her way over there. I use the opportunity to grab ahold of him. 

“Hey Chris, about this year-” I start, but he holds a finger up, signalling for me to stop. 

“I get it, if I were in your shoes I would’ve done the same”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s weird being back, but I’ve been wanting to clear up everything. We should keep in contact, even though you don’t want to talk to Ashley, I understand”

“When did you become such an understanding gentleman,” I tease, punching his arm and start walking. He lifts his arms in the air. 

“Haven’t I always been?” And I laugh at him. 

We all get in the cable car, and it starts moving up. Chris starts talking about how he and Josh met, and I pay close attention. I’ve only heard this story from Josh, and I love getting the different story-perspectives. 

***

We arrive at the top, I stand and try to open the door. It will not open. 

“Uh, guys, I can’t get the door open.” Chris tries, but can’t manage either. His response is to smack the window. 

“Ahh, what the hell!” I hear someone say. Jessica. I compose myself. 

“Jess! Over here, open the door!” Chris shouts. I see her through the window, and I bite my lips from having to look put together. Don’t look like a bitch, don’t look like a bitch, don’t look like you have anything against this piece of scum. I keep chanting in my head. 

She opens the door, and we all thank her. As we walk out, Chris starts whining. 

“Oh my god. I thought we were goners. Another ten minutes in there and I would’ve chewed off my own leg.”

“Aw, sick Chris,” Sam comments. 

“Look, I’ve got a lot of meat on my bones. This is all muscle down there.”

Sam rolls her eyes. “Yeah riiiiiight”

“Keep telling yourself that Chris,” I add, clapping him on the shoulder as I walk past him. He lowers his voice to a whisper. 

“Well, we all know who’s bone you want to jump…”

I turn around, mouth agape and eyes threatening. He immediately puts his hands up in defence, walking backwards two paces. 

“Just jokes, just jokes” says, voice cracking. 

“Dickhead”

“Notice how I’m not going to make another joke about that,” he answers. I quickly make a snowball and throw it at him, hitting his chest. Sam places herself between us, arms tense as if waiting for someone to attack. 

Chris uses this opportunity to snatch whatever Jess is holding. 

“Well, well, well… What do we have here?”

“Chris” Sam starts. He opens it, a surprised look on his face. 

“My goodness! Seems like someone has a crush on our good friend and dear class president Michael Munroe.” Shit. That’s not good. 

“Chris,” I threaten. 

“And what kind of sizzling erotica might our Jessica be capable of imagining, I wonder…”

Before he’s able to see more, Jess quickly snatches the item back. 

“If you must know-” she starts.

“Mike and I are together now.” We all look at each other. 

“Drama,” Chris answers. 

“No, pretty cut clean actually. Em’s out, I’m in,” she explains. I look over at Sam. She doesn’t know what to say. Luckily, Chris breaks the awkwardness. 

“Well, we should keep going” 

“You go, I’ll be waiting here for a bit”

“Waiting for Mike?”

“Just go”

We oblige, walking further and leaving her behind. The trail is quite big and visible. It’s comfortable to walk on. As we turn a corner, I see the cabin. The cabin where Josh is, where Ashley is probably waiting. The cabin which was the last place two of our best friends were seen alive one year ago.

[ermesskiss]

itafushi pov playlists

i've been editing my itafushi playlists non-stop this past week and decided to sort the songs on a google doc instead of doing it in my head to make it easier on myself easier and more sense and omg, they're significantly fucking better compared to last time I posted about them on here

trust me!!! on my beloved cat they're good!!!

I figured that I should post the list of the arcs and its songs of their pov's. figured that this would be interesting to some people and I wanted to give them an idea of my thought process

below the cut is the song list with arcs + playlist link

here is the link to the google doc if it's more convenient and easier for others

likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!! 🫶🏽

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

Itadori's pov

First Introduction

Use Somebody: Kings of Leon

What You Know: Two-Door Cinema Club

Cursed Womb 

Amazing: Rex Orange County

Somedays: The Strokes

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out: The Smiths

Dying in front of Fushiguro

Fade Into You: Mazzy Star

Heart To Heart: Mac DeMarco

Moonlight On The River: Mac DeMarco

My Love Mine All Mine: Mitski

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life): Green Day

Secretly Training With Gojo

When You’re Gone: The Cranberries

See You Again: Tyler, The Creator

I Think I Like When It Rains: WILLIS

I Will: The Beatles

Kyoto Goodwill Event: Surprising Team

For The First Time: Mac DeMarco

Tongue Tied: Group Love

Every Way: Rex Orange County

Kyoto Goodwill Event: Battles

You’re My Bestfriend: Queen

Drive ME crazy: Lil Yachty

Buddy Holly: Weezer

Death Painting Arc

Remedy: Adele

You Get You Give: New Radicals

Time After Time: Cyndi Lauper

You’ve Got a Friend In Me: Randy Newman

Here With Me: D4vd

Shibuya Accident

Always Forever: Cults

Mrs. Magic: Strawberry Guy

I Can’t Handle Change: Roar

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want: Dream Academy 

Lonely Day: System Of The Down

Itadori's Extermination

Pluto Projector: Rex Orange County

Broken: Lifehouse

Everything: Lifehouse

Iris: Goo Goo Dolls

Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol

Running: No Doubt

What Would I Do?: Strawberry Guy

Angel: Brent Faiyaz

Culling Game

It’s Not The Same Anymore: Red Orange County

Liar: Paramore

Like You Do: Joji

When The Sun Hits: Slow Drive

Sukuna Takes Over Megumi

Little Talks: Of Monsters and Men

ilomilo: Billie Eilish

Running Up That Hill: Kate Bush

Mr. Loverman: Ricky Montgomery

All I Wanted: Paramore

_________________________________

_____________________________________________

Fushiguro's pov

First Interaction/impression

Use Somebody: Kings of Leon

I Want You: Savage Garden

I Want You Around: Snoh Aalegra

Amazing: Rex Orange County

Cursed Womb

Angel of Mine: Monica

Let You Break My Heart Again: Laufey

Watching Itadori Die

When The Sun Hits: Slowdrive

Watching Him Fade Away: Mac DeMarco

Fade Into You: Mazzy Star

Heart To Heart: Mac DeMarco

The Ghost Of You: My Chemical Romance

Itadori’s ‘dead’ phase

Star: Mitski

When You’re Gone: The Cranberries

See You Again: Tyler, The Creator

Show Me How: Men I Trust

I Think I Like When It Rains: WILLIS

Telephones: Vacations

Kyoto Goodwill Event: Itadori's Surprised Resurrection

Here Comes Your Man: Pixies

For The First Time: Mac DeMarco

IFHY: Tyler, The Creator

By Your Side: Sade

At Your Best (You Are Loved): Aaliyah

Kyoto Goodwill Event: Battles

Buddy Holly: Weezer

Drive ME crazy: Lil Yachty

Adore you: Miley Cyrus

Death Painting Arc

Black Friday: Tom Odell

Angel: Brent Faiyaz

Sunflower: Rex Orange County

Loving Is Easy: Rex Orange County

Best Friend: Laufey

Here With Me: D4vd

Shibuya Accident

Tongue Tied: Grouplove

Always Forever: Cults

Itadori's Extermination

Time After Time: Cyndi Lauper

Remedy: Adele

Hate To See Your Heart Break: Paramore

You Get What You Give: New Radicals

Culling Game

Blue Hair: TV Girl

Everyone Adores You (at least I do): Matt Maltese

Collide: Howie Day

THE SHADE: Rex Orange County

Little Talks: Of Monsters and Men

Sukuna Takes Over

ilomilo: Billie Eilish

In The Darkness: Clara La San

Broken: Lifehouse

When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die: Moby, Mimi Goese

Doomed: Moses Sumney

Bring Me To Life: Evanescence

_____________________________________________

if you guys like SatoSugu just wait 😋🤞🏽

[kismetconstellations]

@maya-matlin, I know your message was a single character's name, but I'll go ahead and respond for the show, instead, if that's all right.

❤ Favorite character: Takashi Shirogane, my beloved.

👿Least favorite character: Sendak. As awful as Zarkon is, Sendak inspires a visceral hatred in me that only Haggar comes close to. Maybe it's his smug sense of superiority, or the fact that he's Shiro's personal tormentor who not only gets off on torturing Shiro,

but is implied to have sexually violated him, as well.

Regardless, I derive immense satisfaction from the- tragically brief- moment of Shiro getting to overpower Sendak and using the ugly hulking bastard's momentum against him to piledrive him into the ground.

It's not nearly enough, but it's something.

Though, I still think Shiro should have got to kill him. As a treat.

💐Comfort character: Shiro.

And, Hunk.

The sweetest boys. ❤

😍Character you have the biggest crush on: I don't know if I would call it a "crush", but...

I most certainly appreciate Shiro aesthetically.

🤝 Character you relate to the most: Shiro, for his experiences as a trauma survivor grappling with symptoms of self-loathing and PTSD, his fear of being a "broken" "monster", and drive to prove that he's so much more than what he was forced to be, and Hunk, for his anxiety, love of cute things, and desire to bring happiness and comfort to others.

🔥Character you think is overrated:

🧨Character you love to hate: I don't enjoy hating anyone, but I would bring a bag of popcorn to watch Sendak and Haggar duke it out in a fight to the death.

🙈 Character you always forget exists: Any character exclusive to seasons three through six, which I still haven't been able to convince myself to watch because of the clone. I'm sorry, but I cannot take that haircut seriously.

The fact that "Kuron" is so blatantly not Shiro, and gets several seasons of both bonding with Shiro's found family, and driving wedges between them, while the real Shiro, whom I spent two seasons getting to know and love deeply, is dead and languishing on the Astral Plane sits so wrongly with me.

These two men are not the same person. I could go on and on about the differences in confidence levels, how the clone comes across as younger and having a harsher edge, while Shiro seems older, worn, and is much, much softer and gentler. How the clone seems to be wearing eyeliner while Shiro simply has long eyelashes. That Shiro's essence being transferred into the clone's body caused the clone's fringe to magically change shape and grow out, which is unintentionally hilarious--

-- and proves that Shiro would never wear his hair that way...

I beg you, fandom, please stop referring to the clone as Shiro. He's an entirely separate person with a different temperament and his own unique personal struggles; not Actual Shiro with a different (terrible) haircut.

(It's also aggravating that "Kuron" got to reunite with Matt, who Shiro saved, while Post-Resurrection Shiro and Matt have no interaction onscreen. And, if the image I've seen floating around of "Kuron" in a group hug with Team Voltron is something that legitimately happened in the show, and not part of a character's fantasy, it's even more galling that the only people Post-Resurrection Shiro receives hugs from are Keith, right after his revival, and Allura, when she's bidding him farewell before she kills herself.

This man died, and he's only hugged by two people once he's brought back to life. Disgraceful.)

🐰Favorite non-human character: Since so much of the cast is comprised of non-human aliens, I'll reword this prompt a little bit.

My favorite non-human, in the sense that she doesn't have any somewhat human features other than two forward-facing eyes, two hands with fingers and thumbs, two feet, and a mouth located on her face, is Shay.

I love how gentle, sweet, and soft-spoken she is. Precious rock girl.

My favorite non-humanoid character is a three-way tie between Bae Bae,

Kosmo,

and the mice.

Bonus shout out to Kova for having an interesting design and being a space cat.

❤️‍🩹 Character who deserved better: Just one? I'll have to go with the only character who was treated worse than Shiro by the hack brain trusts in charge of the train wreck this show became, and that is, of course, Allura. One could write entire essays covering all of the ways she was heinously wronged by the writers, from never getting the chance to heal from her grief over losing her parents and entire home world and culture, to having her trust exploited and betrayed by Lotor, to bearing the weight of her guilt over that betrayal all the way up to the moment she sacrifices herself, to the utterly needless and cruel sacrifice, itself.

The fact that I've seen fanfiction tags and comments referring to her as a "bitch", and fics where the author warps her character, emphasizing her flaws to a ridiculous degree for the purpose of bashing her, usually complemented by a nice side of Shiro warping and bashing, with the two of them uniting to be great big bullies to Lance, Keith, or both, is absurd and detestable. But, unfortunately, it's the sort of behavior one comes to expect from a fandom populated by majority young, somewhat overzealous fans.

Spite has always been a powerful motivator for me, however, so every encounter with a fic, comment, or post of this nature only makes me like Allura and her vastly under-appreciated friendship with Shiro all the more. The price of being noble, self-sacrificing, hyper-competent, beautiful, and hated by your writers because of it is immature fans who can't or are unwilling to appreciate you, I guess.

Their loss.

---

Thank you so much for the submission! ❤

[trxplehelix]

“I can promise you that I am not going to scream.”

“No, you’re just going to Conjure animatronics to come after us later because of your nightmares again.”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME, MATTHEW!”

@trxplehelix

"If we play Security Breach, are you going to scream when Chica teleports? Mom said no screaming unless there's a demon loose."

[wollemi-whump]

A List of My Favorite Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, & Helmut Zemo Fics + a few Matt Murdock fics

and from his bones the hills by bartonbones & LadyCharity ( @bartonbones @mykingdomforapen ). this rec goes out to my medical whump enjoyers, youll definitely get some here. really well written fic about bucky and sam getting kidnapped! :)

and the old linger by LadyCharity is GOOD FIC VERY GOOD FIC. i love the format of the three different characters confronting Bucky. the descriptions and dialogue flow so nicely into each other, it's really a wonder it wasn't written with old wizard magic (at least that i know of).

chance meeting by MedicBaymax. what an awesome crossover! macgyver and the winter soldier! this fic is short, sweet, and highly captivating. captures macgyver's wonderful resourceful antics and the winter soldier's seriousness and meshes the two characters very well together.

witness marks by bartonbones. a beautiful mixture of domestic and angsty moments and some lovely Wilson family! the emotional moments in this are wonderful.

irreplaceable by LadyCharity. this one is actually a Zemo fic! beautiful character writing in this and a really touching story. the writing flows gorgeously.

True Believers by scioscribe ( @scioscribe ) is another (mostly) zemo-centric fic that i love. i really love zemo in this fic, i think its a very good take on his character after the events of tfatws, and the plot of the fic is creative and serves the characters well. good fic!

I've got red in my ledger... by undertalefa. oh I love this fic. wonderful mix of emotional and physical whump! i love me a good beatdown :)

talking is overrated by undertalefa ( @undertalefa ). great writing in this short fic about Bucky and some trauma about the Winter Soldier he's maybe not dealing with so well.

Machines by novelti. wonderful! pure whump, this one. very angsty and dark. i love torture :)

Homecoming by Face_of_Poe. OH I LOVE THE SPUTNIK PART. I wish it would be used a million more times very awesome. Many good lines in the actual fic but I just have to share one from the author notes because "I just really like to rip out my own heart and stomp on it with the possibilities" is an incredibly funny and appropriate phrase for us writers.

Try To Do Something New by Red_Tigress ( @redtigress ). good fic with some hurt Bucky and hurt Sam! I loved the concept of the conflicting injuries too. very nice to read!

the prison disappears by LadyCharity. this fic has a certain feeling of comfort and domesticity to it that really makes it such a pleasure to read. the mood setting and descriptions work together in great tandem and the story is just so sweet. very lovely fic.

Rusted by Face_of_Poe is a fabulous collection of missing scenes/alt-pov scenes from tfatws. the character writing in this is phenomenal and the writing flows so easily. I love the Zemo POV he really is such a bitch (affectionate) thank you for your writing service.

straddled cooperation by VIKAN. ( @mustangst ) fantastic character dialogue in this, especially for zemo, and some very funny moments (ESPECIALLY for zemo lmao) the character interactions are so so enjoyable and well written. overall just a fabulous fic with some tremendous writing.

True Quiet by betterthanworse ( @betterthanworse ) A fantastic fic in which Bucky survives the war and encounters Zola. I loved how this fic explored the trauma that Bucky experienced specifically with Zola and his initial experiementation. I don't often see a lot of that in either fic or canon so it was very satisfying. and I also loved the emotional whump of course very good :)

Wrong About You, Wrong About Me by betterthanworse. In my reviewing of this fic, I accidentally read literally the entire thing again, so you know this fic is good lmao. 30k words and it literally flew by I was so immersed in the story. and boy does it have WHUMP. one of my all time favorite fics <33

open the door to heaven or hell by chaosy. one of my favorite crossovers, Matt Murdock and Bucky Barnes. exactly the scene you wanted to happen in canon but never did. well no matter! this does the job very well!!

Bandaids Don't Fix Bullet Holes (But Punisher Does) by our lovely @whumpdoyoumean !! (221Browncoat on Ao3) An awesome Daredevil fic with plenty of whump and plenty of Frank!! :D whumpy, touching, and very funny. fantastic read! :)

Witness by ysande. A wonderful bit of Matt whump and angst. Paints very well the relationship Matt has with Stick and provides a rational perspective (thank you, Foggy) on how messed up it is.

[stargazinglesbian]

what is paper girl? and why do u like it so much?

OOH OK. so paper girls is like, two things- in like... 2022??? idk, amazon released a paper girls tv show that got cancelled after one season, which i have watched 5/8 episodes of, but before it was a tv show it was a comic series.

a really, really good comic series in my opinion.

the first issue was released in 2015, and the last was in 2019, with the entire series spanning 30 issues exactly. the way i initially read it was split into 6 volumes, and i now have a heavy ass complete collection of all the comics (my most prized possesion)

obviously, im a bigger fan of the comics than the show. i think the show generally has a bigger fandom, but the comics hold a special place in my heart, and by that i mean its the only thing left in my chest cavity.

plot wise its hard to explain without spoiling a bunch. a lot of people don't like paper girls bc its confusing or weird, or whatever. i remember when i first read through them all i did it in one night, at like 2 am, and by the end my brain felt like it was melting out of my ears, and it was the best feeling ever. i've been chasing the magic ever since.

the basic premise is that its a story about time travel initially set in 1988, following 4 girls, kj, mac, erin, and tiffany. all of them are 12 years old and work on delivering for their local newspaper, hence the name paper girls. on one morning (november 1st, dubbed 'hell morning' because its right after halloween and everyone is fucking crazy) they get caught up in some... really weird shit, and Plot happens.

i've read through the whole series like, 7 times now, so i am no longer confounded by the story, and it's prolly my favourite book/comic/piece of media, like, ever, because personally, i love weird and confusing sci-fi that i genuinely don't understand. it hits me in a certain part of my brain.

also, all of the characters are so likeable. their interactions and dynamics are hilarious to me, and i adore all of them so much. i think even for people who don't really like the main story, the characters can be a real high point of the comics.

also, art wise, it's fucking gorgeous. Matt Wilson and Cliff Chiang did such an incredible job with it, the colours and the linework are incredible. i recently took my physical copy of the comic to my art teacher just to gush about how pretty it is, and even a lot of the bad reviews for the series i've found say something along the lines of "i have no idea what happened, but it was really cool to look at,"

it can definitely be rough around the edges at times, with some homophobic, anti semitic and abelist slurs thrown in the mix (although these are always framed as being like, not good things to fucking say) but even with it's flaws, it will still forever have a hold on my brain.

ouaghhhh it makes me crazy. i am insane. paper girls made me crazy. i need to be sedated. fuck.

to round out my ramblings here's some of my favourite panels from the first few issues of the comics- enjoy

[onemattwolf]

I don't know what to say to a kid that makes an unreasonable request, which the other kids have understood as unreasonable and have stopped asking, but instead of listening to the explanation I gave the other children as to why it's unreasonable, just looks me dead in the eyes and keeps repeating "but I want it," like it'll magically get it to happen. I see this when working the toddler program, it's *expected* with toddlers, because that's the age group that first learns that there's certain things that just can't happen. But by kindergarten, the kid's usually start understanding that "but I want it" isn't some magical command that'll make something happen. And at that age, it may take a few tries, but once you find an explanation a kid can understand, they'll usually drop it and move on.

But today this kid seemed to have little understanding why it wasn't getting me to do the thing he kept demanding. I didn't know what words to say. And he was saying it so unemotionally, it got under my skin a bit. I did manage to talk to his mom quickly at pick up time. But I actually wish it was his Dad doing the pick up because from our interactions, he seems to have a better gauge on [kid's name] behaviours and can offer better advice on what to do besides just lecturing, like what the mom opted for.

Sure, lecturing on my behalf is nice because as a supply, even tho this group knows me fairly well by now, they don't really think of me as a person with any actual authority. But because I've been covering for their usual day care teacher for such a long stretch, I've had to talk to a few of their parents now, so I feel like it's starting to connect that "oh shit Matt can actually get us in trobule."

But this kid. I dunno. I don't actually know why this particular instance bothered me so much.

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter one episode 3: bad news: the rest of it

hand porn people come get your juice

(it's me I'm hand porn people) (you think I watched four seasons of Magicians for the plot?)

you mustn't read from the book

cool I hate it

auggie: EYYYY

edmund?

auggie's expression in his art is still so good. love character art that says so much about a character

"before each of you are visited by - " my garbage brain: "three ghosts"

oh the grey streak in charlie's hair is new

backstory, bacKSTORY

oh not the mental arguments, those are the worst

auggie my beloved

howard

howard's been high on ghosts for a week

"what were you doing?" "ghosts"

"have you had it looked at?" "I've looked at it :D"

I heard that "insight check" she didn't say

I had to step away, who drilled a hole in their head this time

okay nobody drilled a hole in their head but auggie is Impersonating a Police Officer

god all I can think of is the opening to the Lungfishopolis section in Psychonauts

"Doing well, Officer O'Lungfish! Following all posted laws, to the letter!"

CITIZENS OF THE ENVIRONMENT

do you scarlet?

give the baby cocaine

AUGGIE

the average nextdoor poster

MATTHEW I was DRINKING

nefarious something somethings

"come back with a warrant"

aw he got his hoity-toity politics niece a book

it's tusk love

it's BETTER it's HARDY BOYS

I'm something of a spooky story myself

"there's DRUGS in the WALLS"

you what your what

"they're both equally shit"

roll for ricochet

table: howard no robbie: HOWARD YES

"to make you go to sleepytime"

oh oh that one episode of doctor who

idiot's lantern! that one

oh that's very cool

we love an interactive prop

oh no irl dark

insert symmetra "fall back" voice line here

oh I hate it

OH I HATE IT

too tall. too much. too much limb.

when I step you step we step

I very much heard "crying"

I didn't ask how big the room is I said I cast oil lantern

I PUT THE TEAM ON MY BACK

ghost floaters

"only you can create forest fires"

I'm just thinking of the werewolf from paranatural

AUGGIE

[percy lovm voice] I AM EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE

"that was my kamehameha" nerd

"drive it like you stole it"

……..kara-sene

uku'toaaaaa

"I don't know the rules, I can't roleplay my way out of this"

auggie :(

lycanthropic ficus

"what do you have?" "a gun! :D" "NO"

my permanent fallout brainrot insists on hearing "deacon" instead

of "deagan"

"it's a magic gun that's bat at ghosts"

[tma voice] ghost bullet

oh I haven't been looking, I didn't realize ashley took the jacket off

stop I'm already gay

I am not immune to matthew mercer's version of slimy charm

playing dishonored be like

arlo's little dreamy voice going "I have a rifle :D"

matt that sound effect was ENTIRELY unnecessary

god help me for the reference I'm about to make

"THE BULLETS JUST KEEP GOING THROUGH THE HOOOOOLES"

elephant graveyard but for trains

"we're urban spelunking"

oh, it's filch

sounds like something someone who was skulking would say

"tetanus is the true enemy"

howard Leeroy Jenkins margrove

and then arlo had no face

[zenyatta voice] experience nothingness

"a person appears in the portal" stanford?

that is a joker from improbable island

(please play improbable island)

matthew I have never hated your sound effects so much as I do in this moment

OOF obsidian stab

you are flying through the air no matter what

FLAMING AXE

you ever grow another arm just to punch a guy

I was JOKING

"uh-oh!"

SAVE US GHOST BRAIN MAN

the softest "oh no"

BE THE SPRIGG YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

HOWARD'S NO COWARD

LEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEENKIIIIIINS

"what is the exact light temperature of your ritual"

noooo let arlo do her cool trick shot

summon the spirit of percy

hey matt what the fuck

howard's made of ghosts

"I feel strange" because you're made of ghosts

I enjoy that ashley stays in character voice the entire time she's playing. like she's just auggie now.

okay what matt said was cool but I also like the idea of auggie not being able to rely on being able to physically fight his way out of shit and having to actually read the situation

hey robbie what the f u c k

bad news: the rest of it

[tangent101]

An examination of the Imogen/Laudna dynamic

Recently I came across a dissection of the dynamic between Imogen and Laudna that had some… interesting interpretations of events that happened in the game. Unfortunately, the further into the game I got, the more I started realizing that the person was critical of the actress playing Imogen rather than with the character herself (with what they said about the character of Jester - mind you, I've not watched more than a dozen episodes of Campaign 2 so I have no strong feelings about any of the characters in question so I'm not rising in defense of a character, just that this comment colored how I interpret their views of other characters by Laura). Rather than respond directly, I figured I'd examine specific points and my own views on these points.

First, they commented on how comments by Imodna shippers had basically turned Laudna into Imogen's "carry-on" which is… an odd view. It's fairly clear that Laudna is and has always been her own character. While Imogen and Laudna were introduced together and have frequently been by each other's sides, this has more to do with their backgrounds and how Marisha and Laura crafted their characters together, rather than how the characters interact. About the only real thing that I see that might be interpreted along those lines is how protective Laudna is of Imogen… and this works both ways with Imogen showing new powers to protect Laudna in turn. And a good part of this lies with their back stories and how they work together: essentially, both Laudna and Imogen were isolated for many years and only found solace and companionship when they met.

No doubt there are fans who view the characters this way and that's a shame! Characters are more than their ships, and the actresses and actors involved are going to tell their own stories (even as Matt throws monkey wrenches into the works). That said, there is a problem with going the other way and intrepreting characters (and their actresses) through personal biases. (No doubt the same could be said for me but I have a horrid memory for voices and names, to the point for decades I didn't know Mark Hamill had played Luke Skywalker despite seeing the first three films in the theaters.)

So. One comment was on how Laudna was the "Giver" and Imogen the "Receiver" in the relationship between the two, and honestly… for a long time I was a Giver. I was the friend who felt so persecuted that she felt unloved and unwanted and thus would give gifts to friends in "thanks" for their being friends. And while there are shades of that in Laudna, those same shades can be seen in Imogen. And the one time Imogen strayed from this significantly when under the influence of the Gnarlstone… she was under the influence of a malignant cursed magical item. And when Delilah deliberately destroyed it, it was in an effort to drive a wedge between Laudna (who was becoming increasingly stubborn and intractable thanks to Imogen's influence) and Imogen.

On one side, a person is recovering from addiction to a cursed item. On the other side you have a woman who has a poisonous voice whispering in her ear telling her that she will only ever be alone. Given those influences I'm surprised that they rectified things as quickly as they did… and Thull murdering Laudna happened soon after they were patching things up!

This may very well help explain how devastated Imogen was in losing Laudna. But what's more, it could easily be misinterpreted as Imogen constantly taking from Laudna and being unsure what to do now that this pillar of support is gone.. rather than a woman whose best friend was murdered before her eyes by someone who deliberately chose her friend because of their relationship and thus felt personally responsible for what had happened. In short, this is guilt over what happened to Laudna, and what happened to all her friends.

So. Does Imogen prioritize what Laudna wants to the same level as what Laudna does for Imogen? All we have to do is listen to what she said to Laudna when they were bringing her back. She told Laudna "I'm not going to tell you to come back, I'm not going to try to compel you to come back, because that choice, Laudna, is yours now. No one gets to control you anymore, all right? Just know that I love you, and I'm here."

Honestly… how is that not putting what Laudna wants above her own needs and desires? She told Laudna that she is not going to tell Laudna to come back or compel her, because the choice is Laudna's, not hers. This is after she and her friends descended into the Shadowfell and fought Delilah Briarwood to free Laudna from Delilah's influence. This is stating "you owe us nothing and can choose your own fate."

So, let's look at the romantic aspects of Imogen and Laudna's feelings for each other. I think they have been quietly in love with each other for two years now. If Ludinus had fallen down a flight of stairs and broken his neck a decade ago and all his plans fell apart as a result, then in all likelihood they would have slowly continued to grow together until finally they realized that their feelings were something more than friendship. But even if they are falling in love with each other, that does not mean that theirs will be a sexual relationship.

Laudna has been compartmentalizing for some time. And I think she pushed her feelings of desire into her Pate de Rolo persona because she felt so unlovable. Meanwhile… I think Imogen may very well have mixed feelings about sex because she's had a lot of trouble blocking people out. What's more, for all that she delves into people's minds regularly, I'm not sure she would look to see if Laudna feels that way toward her… and would just repress those feelings in herself. In short, Imogen and Laudna are a slow burn and if they ever do

come into culmination it will be after another several dozen episodes. Besides, they have a world to save. ;)

[trxplehelix]

Have you ever used your magic to make yourself, or another guy better sexually?

NSFW Anon Hour

"Well now that would be a blatant use of magic for personal gain and highly irresponsible."

"Of course I have."

[trxplehelix]

Sure enough, that information was also in the book, and it did go a long way in showing that his family didn't view Vassago as a threat. "That would explain how the summoning spells were similar enough for me to get the wrong being. Although to be fair, I don't have much experience with 'Patron Demons', you'd be the first I met." Matt wasn't surprised that Vassago saw what he was doing, the witch hadn't exactly been subtle about it. But as his cards began to be read, Matt started flipping pages in the Book to see how he could send the handsome demon home. "Why are you so interested in us? You want dirt on Raziel?" Crossing his arms, Matt shook his head. "If it was just mine, then maybe, but I'm not about to give you something on him. Looks only get you so far."

Still, Vassago continued to read, and while Matt was still trying to figure out how to stop him, and explosion of power nearly knocked him back. Raziel was suddenly standing in front of him, wings unfurled and in his "Wrath of Heaven mode" as Matt called it. "Razzie! It's alright!"

Vassago chuckled. "It'd be rude to physically touch your Grimoire without asking, but if you'd prefer it, I can. You know, though many regard Raziel as the Patron Archangel of Witches, there are those that consider me the Patron Demon of witches. Two sides to the same coin, I suppose." The cards moved faster around him as Matthew dodged the question, Vassago noting that he was deflecting with humor. "You may not be lying, but you are avoiding the question." One card slowed and floated to hover at Matt's eye level. Two of Cups. "You've formed a relationship with him. What kind?" A grin spread across his face. "As much as I would like that, I think you should tell me anyways. Not often I get this kind of information. A secret from a Halliwell and information on my enemy. Two birds, three cards. Shall I draw the second, or will you be a good boy and tell me?" That was when the walls of the manor began to shake.

Raziel had felt a twinge in his chest as he had been searching a cave on Mount Everest, used as a vault by Heaven. He had simply wanted to do an inventory, something to busy his mind. The twinge told him that Matt was in trouble. Someone was there. A presence in the manor. A Demon. One that was powerful. With a snarl, he vanished and rematerialized in the attic of the Halliwell Manor, all six wings unfurled and shining a blazing rainbow light. "ENOUGH!"

[sbrn10]

More post-e80 thoughts:

Two general things I just want to throw out there in the wake of having the shard/feywild arc largely wrapped up (although I hope there is more to come next episode in terms of the characters processing what happened).

(And of course I started writing this down as "two minor points" and it got stupidly long so I had to change the first sentence and now I guess I'll cut for sanity. The curse of being a verbose mfer.)

1.

I think "but they didn't trust each other at all???" re: the trust trial is kind of a weird take.

Given the setup, the central question or task in this trial isn't really "can you trust each other and thereby achieve your goal," it's "can you correctly identify the imposter(s), if any (and by implication, do you know each other well enough to do so) in order to achieve your goal." To phrase slightly differently, knowing each other and/or trusting that you know each other enough to identify each other is the point, because when you don't know whether the person in front of you is actually your friend, whether you do or do not trust your friend is irrelevant. But, if you can interact with someone who may or may not be your friend and come away confident in your judgment of whether it is them, that is at least by proxy evidence of a reasonably solid relationship. And, although opinions may differ on how solid the process was (most notably, whether attempting to use Detect Thoughts means there is a lack of trust, which I disagree with but this is long enough already), they did end up correctly identifying that nobody was an imposter, which means they did succeed at the challenge given to them.

Also, given that this game was really half in character and half out (as in, it was as much the players observing each other out of character as it was about the characters observing each other in character, which, you can be happy or unhappy about, I guess, but it would be weird to ignore it), I found it to be both fun to watch and about as good an outcome as could be expected.

2.

One thing I've pondered before is that BH, while made up of various flavors of ticking time bomb characters, are actually very different. Chetney's werewolf, FCG's circuitry, Laudna's relationship with Delilah, Imogen's mind-reading and Ruidus-adjacent powers, Fearne's relationship with the shard and/or Dark!Fearne, and *waves vaguely* Ashton's... all of that are all really different kinds of problems. (Orym's grief/trauma is not included, because that's just bog-ass normal human emotions, not supernatural/magical/fantastical bullshit.)

There are parallels that can be drawn between these problems, of course, and the ways in which they try to look to each other for guidance is fascinating to me (like, I think Chetney's constant advice to embrace their problems the way he embraces the wolf is incredibly inapplicable to some of the characters but it's also so understandable why he would say so, and that's delicious), but as outside readers, some care should be taken to understand all of them individually.

Further, there are obviously ways to examine each of these issues as metaphors for real human issues -- like chronic pain, anxiety/other kinds of mental illness, abusive relationships, substance abuse/addiction, etc. (side note: I mean, I thought the addiction metaphor for Delilah was way off, but Matt threw it out there, so??) -- but to be too focused on that kind of metaphorical reading is, I think, limiting, because this is... you know. D&D.

For instance, to argue that Imogen taking off the circlet is "going off her meds" or that Imogen considering giving into the Ruidus connection is self-harm is a valid reading, but Imogen's powers are NOT actually mental illness. They come with defined mechanical benefits and potential story that I assume Laura as a player trusts Matt to have devised and which presumably can be used (or at least explored) as a real weapon and strength in the overall narrative. Whether leaning into her powers will ultimately be something that hurts her or empowers her is yet to be written.

On the other hand, while obviously there are mechanical/narrative benefits to, e.g., Fearne accepting the shard, it's also perfectly valid for Fearne as a character to either a) not want that power, because she's happy with who she is today and doesn't want to become something different or b) be afraid of that power, because she hasn't grappled with how or why she would go down the path to becoming Dark!Fearne, and that's also all stuff that can be explored and written further. But that story would obviously be very different from Imogen's, since the shard is not innate to Fearne.

And I think smushing all of these nuances into "yaaaassss taking ownership of what others think is a flaw/disability and turning it into strength!" OR "wow they're all making each other worse / egging each other into more self-destructive behaviors" is just kind of... flat on both ends of the spectrum. It can be all of those things! There are different layers and lenses! I think it's a lot of fun that we get the room to make these connections and interpretations and the interplay between them!

I mean, I guess the conclusion to this weird mini essay is 1) I am having so much fun, and 2) I don't think think any of them are in an incredibly dire place as of the end of e80. I mean, Laudna's not doing great, so I'd like to see them deal with that! but also, it could be so much worse! I'm cautiously optimistic! And Fearne should probably talk about her feelings on the shard, but she seems pretty excited about it, you know?

[touchedbydestiny]

Unprompted positivity: I don't rp with Nadia, but I love reading your threads with @malka-lisitsa and @baby-royalty especially. You play this big emotionally complex woman without reducing her in any way. I've seen a few Nadias around and they seem to focus on all the wrong things - Nadia is a grown ass woman who has an entire lifetime under her belt. She has her own motivations and loyalties that she has to navigate while also getting a chance to know her mother (and her oc half sister). She's older than Katherine in more ways than one and it's so interesting to see how that plays out in your interactions.

Anyways, I was thinking about her today and wanted to share how much I enjoy having you on my dash

coming online and seeing some unexpected positivity in my inbox is really a great thing to witness 🥰

first of all, let me know if you're ever interested in writing with my nadia. ♥

i don't remember when i made my first nadia blog on here (i deleted the first one but i find posts under the tag in the tumble search dated back to 2014) because i pretty much fell in love with nadia since she was introduced (and tvd s5 introduced many great side-characters). i remember that many people were angry/disappointed that katherine's daughter was introduced and that she was physically older and not innocent/cute whatever. it's actually a shame that many people change her fc and switch it to someone younger with softer features. i, however, think it's awesome that nadia is the way she is. she's a badass, independent woman who certainly doesn't have to hide behind the name / her connection to 'katherine pierce' to get what she wants. she is her own woman. she's sneaky and can be manipulative and will manhandle the shit out of you to reach her goals. she freakin stole from an original vampire just to get closer to her goal. it's interesting to see how she developed independently into a person similar to katherine pierce without even meeting her for the majority of a lifetime (the genes are strong xD). and apart from being a vampire, she's also incredibly crafty. one of the only vampires shown to know how to handle a gun. extensive knowledge of traveler magic. not afraid to evade an immortal who was after her own goal. but at the same time, she also has a soft heart, especially when it comes to her mother. and although she also used matt, i like to think that she did care about him (hence why matt also cared about her and made sure she got a decent burial).

nadia feels regarding her oc half-sister (@baby-royalty) a lot of jealousy which she cannot entirely shake because nadia sees that she and katherine have a mother-daugther connection that nadia will never have with katherine. somehow lizzy and nadia remind me of barbenheimer. do you know these edits that were made with one pink and one dark side? lizzy is the pink side and nadia is the dark side. 😅

also major thanks to @malka-lisitsa for being interested in writing with my nadia. not every katherine is automatically looking for a nadia / wanting a nadia for interactions. we had and have many interesting threads, banters, and more that also helped me develop nadia even more. ♥

[ev-bell-logbook]

Phys Vis // Projects // Sem 1 // Week 11

9/12/24

[transcripted & edited from my voice note on remembering the lesson]

"We did a warm-up!

Then what did we do after the warm-up? We walked around the space...and...fuck. We were trying to find a game, but I can't remember what game it was this time." The idea of finding a game is a very useful tactic given to us by the lectures. It invites playfulness and ease into the space for when we're improvising/devising materials to work with and refine. If I ever become a lecturer, or a teacher, or run some workshops - I'm going to use that phrase. I've only just clocked this at the time of writing this logbook entry but it's very clever.

"Oh yeah, a game with eye contact, walking around the room in a funny way, then it was the exit and entrances. Then we got split into two groups, one had a green sheet, the other a number of chairs. Jodie asked us to experiment with those and then we swapped over." Did I learn anything from that? maybe? Something about new ways to use props and bouncing off other people as well.

"And then Jodie put all of the shit out in the room and told us we were gonna do some sort of improv circuit training. So we had to go to a prop and improvise with it, and we could whatever we wanted, obviously, because improv is free will bullshit." Every actor is different. They all have different ideas, different responses, different levels of generosity. I personally really struggled this last week because I was so tired. I wasn't a very generous responder. I spent the majority of this exercise doing my own thing. If someone came up to me I didn't dismiss them, but I didn't go out of my way to interact with others. My first prop was a pair of gloves that I timed myself putting them on and off, and tried to do it in under 30 seconds (they were fiddly and plastic and too big for my hands so I couldn't do the Velcro up). When I was about to beat my time Cal came up to me blindfolded and I told her to wait. I explained what I was doing and helped her on her way around the room a bit because she was blindfolded. After that I joined someone under the green sheet, but they left straight away. I left a bit defeated. So I lay there the rest of the time. I couldn't see what was going on but I could feel people around the room, I could hear their conversations. I was really interesting to play with this idea of sight, because we go to watch performances. So what happens if we can't see one? Laying still on the floor for so long meant that some people forgot I was there, there was a funeral held for me, someone dressed me up, Matt performed his magic to me. Although I wasn't going out of my way to join another performer, I created opportunity for them to interact with something else in the space that was just as unresponsive as a prop, but had the possibility to respond back. This might be something else I'd like to explore in the future.

"We came back from break and had loads of placards to look at, and improvise with as well. We went straight into improvising with our ensemble in front of an audience. What was some of the feedback we got? (Curt) On the big piece? (Ev) Yeah, no from the first bit we did with the placards. (Curt) The flow, nothing stopped. Yeah the big one I remember. I don't remember much else." This was essentially a very practical way of studying forced entertainment rather than just watching some of their work. It was essentially recreating one of their works. The process itself to me was a little overwhelming, although I didn't actually have to do much, I just had to exist in the performance space as a character. I felt quite swarmed by the number of characters I had to choose from. However, by having a group of six, it meant that someone was always in character, which meant that the flow of the performance and any narratives that were going on were steady and naturally paced and the performance was enjoyable for the audience. After watching the other group do it (who unfortunately aren't as in tune with their ensemble) it was so obvious to us when two placards would have worked really well with each other got missed because they weren't always working as an ensemble and were so wrapped up in what was happening on their own placard. This made me as an audience member feel quite frustrated, which is also something forced entertainment likes to play with.

"Then we split up into our groups again to try and refine and devise, and we didn't do feedback for the last bit. Cool" Here is our final response to the work of Forced Entertainment:

This didn't feel like one of our strongest pieces if I'm honest. I think with some more time and experimentation our group would excel in this kind of theatre, but in the short amount of time, and with a slight disconnection between a couple of the cast members we struggled to create this lesson. There seemed to be a handful of members acting on their own accord, which created a disconnection within our piece that just doesn't sit right with me. I'd love to explore Forced Entertainment's process some more in the future. They like to play around with how their audience thinks and feels.