#I've got a list of substances i could use to get through the school year but I'm rationing it for now

[burningcomputerpersona]

time to try something new and see if it ends up becoming the start of a terrible new coping mechanism

[dayseternal-blog]

Hi days! I know you're the best person to go to for some NH fic recommendations. Can you share with us really angsty NH fics? I've read White Lillies, that amount of angst is revitalizing I LOVE IT!!! big thanks!!!

HELLO

For how fluffy NaruHina is, there SURE ARE A LOT of shippers who LOVE NARUHINA ANGST.  I’ve been asked for angst recs far more than any other type????

I will now compile every angst fic rec I’ve ever made into one long list.  (folks can see if there’s anything I’ve missed 🤓)

NARUHINA ANGST

“A Place In The Sun” by ihaveastorminme - Rated M for smut and depictions of violence, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Naruto realizes that he’s not enough to love her.  He’s not enough to save her, either.

“A Fate Worse than Death” by Caelestia - Rated M for smut, ABO Canon-Divergent, One-shot.  Naruto, improperly socialized and traumatized as a child, rejects his inner Alpha, which has devastating consequences on his family and marriage.  “A Risky Bet” is its fluffier follow-up.

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night.  Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it. Angst if you want to know what dying feels like warning.

“if this is love (why does it hurt?)” by ClairvoyantDreamer1011 - Rated M, Friends with benefits Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata knew many things about Naruto Uzumaki. She knew that his heated glances meant ‘I want you’; that lingering touches whispered 'please’, and that the sight of his back to her screamed 'leave’. But she couldn’t tell you what they were to each other for the life of her.

“If You Said You Loved Me” by destiny’s sweet melody - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot.  Naruto begins to realize he took her feelings for granted and now he’s too late.

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Naruto and Hinata are married.  So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Why would innocent little Hinata be out dressed like that?” (One-shot) and its follow-up “On Any Given Day” (Long One-Shot) by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent. Hinata tries to move on from Naruto, right when he realizes he wants to keep her.

“For the Future” by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata understands this better than anyone else. Naruto is easy to love.  (I actually just hate the ending a lot.  That’s what puts this on the list).

“Gilded Butterflies” by Kid Crisis - Rated M for depictions of violence, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Tenshi, beautiful prostitute of the Villa, realized from a very young age that people seem to do nothing but empty her, and not even Naruto seems capable of convincing her otherwise.

“Serenity Prayer” by @katarinahime - Rated M for smut, substance abuse, PTSD, and depictions of domestic violence and non-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. When their fairytale endings smash to ugly pieces, Hinata and Naruto help put each other back together.

“Common Side Effects” (Naruto’s POV) by @katarinahime & “Medicated” (Hinata’s POV) by @szajnie - Rated E for smut, substance abuse, mental illness, and depictions of violence, self-harm, and attempted suicide, Crime/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata, in a struggling relationship, must confront the pain inside before they can love each other.

“In Another Life” by theGeneralissimo - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. In which Naruto listens to his mother’s advice and marries a girl like her. And lives to regret it.

“Mistake” by Cherry1315 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto falls apart, and, unfortunately, Hinata has to pick up the pieces.

“Until the Day I Love” by BluBlooThalassophile - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Everyone is recovering from the war.

“Hidden From Sunlight” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. How different could Naruto’s life be when the girl that seemed 'barely around’ is truly hardly around at all?

“Powerless” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M for depictions of violence and character death, Mystery/Crime High School/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control. DELETED FIC.

“21 Days” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E includes dub-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Anonymous internet friends decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

“April - Too Late/Missed Opportunities” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, College/Modern AU, One-shot. After her 3 years away for college, Naruto decides to confess.

“June - Honor/Sacrifice” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto marries Hinata, the girl of his dreams.  If only she loved him back.

“you totally almost killed me that one time (it’s okay I still love you)” by @itachiboutit - Rated G, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete.  Naruto, a promising baseball player, returns to Konoha Prep, and, without so much as even a “long time no see,” hits a ball into Hinata’s face. (This isn’t really angsty…but I get really upset in Ch. 4 and cry a lot every time.)

“Because I Love You” aka “Arranged Marriage AU Take 2″ (Same fic) by @magmawrites - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. A canon divergent fic in which The Last never happened and Hinata Hyuga was promised to another.

“Asylum AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. What’s to say what’s real and what isn’t? The only thing that’s valid and true in all universes is their love for one another.

“Dreaming of AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M for implied suicide, Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto dreams of her. He grows to love her. Dreams are nice. Too bad reality is a nightmare. (Most likely a continuation of the Asylum AU.)

“Memory Loss AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. I LOVE YOU. Will I ever hear those words from your lips again?

“The Path We Walk” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. With his memory of the past five years missing, Naruto never expected to be married to Hinata, and now he must navigate through the maze that is their life together with no memory of how he got there.

“Easier For Me” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Two-shot, Complete. How will Hinata handle waking up with no memory of how she got there?

“My Escape” by @marimare-writes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto wakes up from a coma with no recollection of life after graduating the Academy. Hinata, anxious and with a secret that will change both of their lives, struggles with what to do.

“Consolation Prize: Through Her Distorted Mirror” by mysterious intentions - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete.  Her love is taken lightly, as if her heart could change so easily.

“Good Luck” By LovelyLori - Rated T, Flowers/Ballet AU, Two-Shot, Complete. A Japanese ballet company arrives in Naruto’s town.  Can love transcend language barriers? (I spent HOURS looking for this one, it totally breaks my heart.)

“On the outside looking in” by @char-lotteral - Rated E for smut, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto’s in love with his best friend’s girlfriend fiancee.  And he’s not moving on.

“Sincerely, Uzumaki Naruto” by @bkgsbby​ - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. After his wife leaves him a week after giving birth to their son, Naruto moves back to Konoha. He adjusts to life as a single father, with the help of his friends and surprisingly, his old crush.

“Road to Redemption” by averagejane497 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, especially concerning the women he loves. Maybe this time he can get it right.

“You’re the One” by AnimeloverNUMBA100 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. After 4 desperate years, Hinata finally asked Naruto out. He decides to give her a chance, but his feelings for Sakura has never faded. Hinata is slowly losing hope as time goes on…and she soon chooses to leave him.

Untitled by @randomprose - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Prompt: Hinata finds out that Naruto told Minato that Sakura is his girlfriend.

“Jitters” by ncfan - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. He has her heart but he doesn’t even know it.

“The Red Umbrella” by ncfan - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. As the rain hits her, Hinata thinks about what she doesn’t have, and what she’ll never have now.

“Duplicity” by GoldKing - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Uzumaki Sakura wants to know why Hinata’s children are blond.

“My Favorite Night” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata harbors deeper feelings for Naruto after three years of being his roommate. When he starts dating Sakura, Hinata decides it’s in her heart’s best interest to turn the other way, and leaves Naruto for good with a heart-breaking secret in tow.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which…Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

“Blurred Lines” by @vegebulsoup - Rated E, Police / Cops and Robbers Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Detective Naruto Uzumaki is having a hard time staying focused at work due to an elusive, dark-haired beauty.  (Starts off fun and smutty, grows angsty).

“I want you to cry” and its sequel “Road of Tears” by Devahhole - Rated E for graphic murder, dub-con/non-con, and smut, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A sociopath blinded by revenge runs into his greatest opponent.

“Absolute” by @ssa25 - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. She was his kind, shy and innocent friend. Until she wasn’t. He was her pure, beautiful and unrequited love. Until he wasn’t.

I’m very glad that you enjoyed my “White Lilies” fic!!  Here’s everything I could think of for you to cry or stress out over.

SAD READING 😢

[anarchist-billy]

hi sweet pal! yeah I'm super new to the fandom so I've just been recced a bunch of 'classic' fics if you get my drift so they're pretty much all bottom steve, ain't nothing with that but bottom billy is just so delicious to me! you mentioned a fic rec list? yes please thank youuuu!!!

Hello, darling! First of all - WELCOME to the Harringrove fandom! I’m so excited you’re here to add to this incredible group of people in this wonderful, wild fandom of ours! 🖤

I’ll admit, I am not as well-read as some other folks around these parts, but I am the absolute madman that decided to head up the Harringrove Library project, so I do have access to a lengthy list of fics. Huge shoutout to all my cohorts who have been logging away with me for the last…Jesus….Six months? Yikes. We’ll get the blog live eventually, I promise!

Anyway…suffice all that to say, this is by no means an extensive list, merely a little smorgasbord of fics I could find that have been labeled as Bottom!Billy.

Ride the Lightning by @womenseemwicked - 11k

Billy takes Steve to a concert in Indianapolis. Steve does his damn best to fit in. His best is still preppy as shit.

you should find your way home (i’ll be at your front door) by @lucybrown45 - 10k

Billy’s California is not what Steve expects, but it’s good. It’s what he needs. For once he feels like he’s in the right place at the right time.

so this one I read some time ago, and I’m like 93% sure it’s just bottom!Billy, but don’t hold me to it if it ends up being verse. Either way, it’s such a good fic and definitely worth a read imho.

One Wild Night by KittyleFay - 8k

Upon discovering that Steve likes boys, Billy offers to take him to a gay bar on the edge of town to get him laid. There’s one problem: Billy keeps cock-blocking Steve.

It’s Not a One Way Street by im_your_hope - 6k

Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.

(“Get warm, you fucker,” he whispers aggressively in Billy’s ear.)

This one features one of my favorite tropes - cuddling for warmth. ;)

We’re a Thousand Miles from Comfort (But There’s No Place I’d Rather Be) by HobbitSpaceCase - 5k

Insomnia and too many bad memories send Steve out looking for something to take his mind off his lonely life. What he finds is Billy Hargrove, a mysterious substance in the woods, and the fulfillment of his most deeply buried fantasies.

A Man After Midnight by moonflowers - 4k

When Steve first spotted him, Macho Man was, somewhat ironically, blasting out over the speakers. The dress was electric blue, and probably a little more eighties than seventies, but Steve wasn’t about to nitpick.

Honey Whiskey by quinnvicious - 4k

When they get to a point where they can just barely hear the thumping of the music over the chirping crickets, Billy’s serious expression cracks and he bursts out laughing like a drunken, deranged hyena. Steve can’t help but join in, and then they’re both giggling and stumbling around the forest like idiots. Steve bumps into him to snatch the bottle of whiskey from his fist and takes a burning swallow. It warms his blood too much in the balm of the edge-of-summer night and he drags the back of a hand over his mouth with a ragged sound before passing it back. Billy snickers at his expense and fishes a cigarette out of his pack.

Up Is Down and Down Is Up by dragonspell - 4k

A few short weeks ago, Steve would never have guessed in a million years that he would find himself here, watching Billy Hargrove fight back the urge to come just because Steve’s inside him. The thought would have been ludicrous; the idea of Billy in Steve’s bed absurd. And yet here they are, Billy pretending that he’s on a date with some girl while parking a few blocks down from Steve’s house. When Steve’s parents are home, he sneaks in through the window, but tonight, he’d used the front door.

(Or, a flimsy excuse to write Harringrove porn)

You love this, you need it. by Anonymous - 4k

Billy and Steve have a little dom and sub relationship. It helps billy when he needs to let go.

Plastic Bruises by spaceagelovesong - 3.5k

“slap bracelets,” billy repeats. “sounds like some kinky shit to me—“ he breaks off into another laugh.

steve practically glows. he loves seeing billy laugh. it’s scary, but, like, in a sexy way.

“you want me to get kinky,” steve says, in his best billy voice. “we can get kinky.”

Whoever logged this for the library put in the notes “If anyone has a snap bracelet fetish, do I have the fic for you…” lol

Lucky You by retoxification - 3.5k

All that Billy really wants in life is his hot boyfriend to fuck him until he can’t think.

That’s it, that’s the plot.

Fresh Blood by @sightetsound - 3k

Never had a lap-dance before,” Steve replied impishly.

The intensity of Billy’s stare wiped Steve’s grin clean off his face.

“You want a lap-dance so bad, I’ll give you one.

Anniversary by spaceagelovesong - 2k

billy hargrove knows how to fuck, but steve harrington knows how to make love.

it’s been about a year, but neither of them are counting. after all, every night together is a celebration.

we love making (whispers) by pally (palliris) - 2k

Steve loves breaking Billy apart; loves being torn apart, himself.

Sore by @womenseemwicked - 1.5k

Sometimes Billy works out too hard and can hardly move the next day. Lucky he has Steve to take care of him then.

And now…Not sure if A/B/O is your thing, but I figured I’d include two fics that are Omega!Billy, just in case. ;) I love both of these fics a lot and they’re hot as heck.

Heatstroke by HobbitSpaceCase - 8k

Billy is out of suppressants and going into Heat. Steve finds him. It’s too bad Billy can’t have this every time.

Don’t Belong To Anyone (Else) by @sparkleeye - 30k

Billy is a stubborn idiot and goes to school during his heat.

Honorable Mention: Those American Thighs by tracy7307 - 1.5k

He placed his hands on the tops of Billy’s golden thighs – spread his fingers apart and rubbed from his knees up, up, until his fingertips dipped under the legs of Billy’s shorts. The hair rasped under his hands. His thighs were still a bit slick from that suntan oil that Billy loved to use and from the sweat of working outdoors on a summer day.

This one isn’t Bottom!Billy per se, as it’s intercrural, but it’s Billy’s thighs that are being fucked and gosh golly it is HOT. I’m kinda obsessed with it. So it gets a shoutout here.

I also found a couple Tumblr drabbles buried in my reblogs for you:

Prompt fill by @trashmouse

Prompt fill by thebeautyinchains

And here’s a post/drabble I forgot I wrote about some first time Bottom!Billy. ;)

Finally, I will leave you with this art piece I found in my hunt by @delphineygt. I think most of the Sexy fanart has been banished from tungl dot com at this point, but this gem survived and I’m so happy about it so I wanted to share.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to offer for now. Happy reading, friend! 🤗

[r-romanoff]

Photon Blasts & Spider Webs

Chapter: 1 Part 2

Peter Parker x Male Reader

Master list

Chapter Summary: Cliches are seeming kinda frequent come your second day, and Bucky honestly can't say Sh*t

September, 23, 2019

"So, any new friends?" Wanda asked driving the two of you home. Yes actually. A girl Named Betty and some of her friends I think, I'm not really sure I don't know if they like me yet. Oh and this one weird kid Peter although he's more of an acquaintance though. I'm still getting to know him, kinda strange seeming." I then begin to explain my whole day and how it unfolded. "Look at that I'm so proud of you!" She smiles and laughs in a joking way. "Just don't blast any kids in the face this time." The burnett begins to chuckle even more, earning an embarrassed response. "Hey I was seven! I'm still mad Natasha told you. May she rest in peace." " "Amen. So wanna stuff our faces with food until we pass out" "Do I!!!"

September, 24, 2019

"Ok um... where to put you" the chem lab teacher mutters to himself. Then comes a somewhat loud voice. "There's an empty seat next to Peter." A random student sitting herself seemed like he didn't want anyone else sharing his space. She had wavy brown hair and a light mocha skin color, and she was wearing mostly black. "Good idea, wait. Where is Parker?" The teacher answered back, looking around the class room I quickly scan to see if the Peter I meet was to be seen. If it was that Peter was at all, "I'm here sorry I'm late Mrs. Watterson." Yup it was that same weird Peter from physics, and the hallway. "Good Y/N will be your partner from now on." The teacher concluded, as Peter began to walk to his desk I decided to fallow behind when it happened. I tripped.

Better yet someone had tripped me with their foot. As I fell I feel myself accidentally knock over some of the tubes and substances from desks nearby. Trying to cling on to my dignity, while accidentally bringing down Peter Parker with me. Both unwillingly but instinctively clenching on to his sweater Turning him around hoping not to fall we hit the ground, me landing on top of him, him laying there to cushion my fall. Unfortunately not doing the same to all I had knocked over glass beakers and cylinders crashing to the ground. Substances mixing in the air as I finally landed on him. Both of us cover in what ever it was that fell. Still in shock from what had seemed like the longest fall of my life all I'm able to mutter out while still grasping onto the boy was; "uh i-I." The situation getting a whole lot worse with my classmates beginning to open their mouths. "Aw My Shoes!" One kid yelled; "My Jacket..." an other complained seeming just as shocked as I was.

Speaking of shocked as the chattering increased the whole class began to lose control at what happened. No longer delaying the inevitable I look up at Peter, his face painted with shock, disbelief, and cluelessness but I couldn't really blame him either. And then it happened again; "Hey look Parker's got a boyfriend!" Shit it got worse. My face flushed pink in embarrassment, I immediately let go of Peter leaving visible marks on his sweater from where I was holding on, on his are and chest. Attempting to stand up I begin to stumble on my own two feet trying to avoid stepping on Peter sparing us any moment embarrassment, I storm out of the classroom my shirt dripping in what ever the mixed liquids were. All I could hear now were the faded noises of the chemistry lab and the teacher calling after me.

It wasn't until about thirty seconds later that I now realise someone is following me. I instantaneously come to a halt and begin to hold onto my elbows, hugging them when I realise who it is. "I'm sorry." I pout looking down at my feet feeling tears begin to leak, water beginning to glisten trying to hide behind the brim of my eye my nose beginning to sniffle. "I just came to make sure you were ok, um... are you cry-never mind. You probably don't want to clean up we really don't know what any of this is." He kindly walks over. "I'm in shock that's all I- um yeah that sounds nice, but I don't have any other clothes." I try to explain still sniffling. "I have spare clothes in the locker room. We could head over there if you'd like. By the way don't listen to anything Flash says he's kind of a dick to everybody." He mentions the name of the jerk who probably made the off hand comment. The for some reason really got to me. Resting his hand on my shoulder, slowly lifting my head I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Lead the way please." I faintly smile trying to look on the bright side that I didn't go crazy and photon blast anyone who was talking.

Following Peter at an extremely close distance to the locker rooms I feel six. I feel helpless, like before I discovered my powers that I barely use. I feel like the clingy 6 year old that would cling onto Tony's or Natasha's jeans when I was scared. The six year old that wouldn't leave Fury's or Maria Hill's side whenever we went out, or were at some secret base. The same little boy that loved having conversations with Maria Rambo about mom. Now that I've been 17 since April I still feel kind of the same, always asking Wanda for advice about things while watching Netflix with Sam and Bucky. "We're almost there" Peter says snapping me out of thought only to bring them to him, he seems really nice. Although I still can't shake this feeling that when we first met it was kind of forced in a bad not so good way.

He's definitely sugar coating something right, or am I just being paranoid. No he definitely seemed like he was looking for me, like he already knew who I was. "And we have officially made it." Peter snaps me out of my thoughts, holding the red door open for me. "Thanks, so um... you get into these situations often" I ask while he opens his locker not wanting our whole time to be spent in silence. "Well these situations specifically no, flash being a dick yes." He answers passing me a shirt with a printed photograph of the Avengers from a while back. "So which one is flash exactly?" I don't recall seeing who made the comment. Examining the black shirt more closely I see; Thor when he still had his old hammer, Wanda, Vision, Clint, Tony, Natasha, Rhodey, & Sam. Wow if I put this on I'll never hear the end of it when I get home. "He was the one that tripped you, that's Taylor Swift right?" What? Giving him a confused look he points to my now ruined shirt. Running my hand through my h/c messy hair, I look realizing the shirt I'm wearing had the initials T.s. with seagulls on it. And a faded blue and pink sky background that was now stained. "Oh yes 1989" I smile, only faintly however now seeing that my shirt is most likely not gonna clean out. "You're gonna put that on? Right?" I look back up only to find Peter half shirtless finding out he's refereeing to your shirt. Blushing intensely at his um... you know, I quickly turn around taking off my shirt and put the one he gave me on as quickly as possible.

Taking one last deep breath before turning back around to see him what I think is intensely staring. As my blushing intensifies I accidentally let words slip. "Were you looking?" "What! Um no, were you um, looking" he fumbled a bit "no." I mumble a bit feeling a bit insecure. Not that I wasn't fit I mean I had a little bit of muscle but I'm not fit-fit if that makes sense. "Um thanks a lot, I really appreciate it" I look at his shirt with an the school logo on it than looking back up at his face. Smiling he responds, "It's ok really we should do that again. No I mean not getting into that situation sorry! I mean hang out, I mean we didn't talk much but what I'm saying is I'd like to get to know you! If that isn't weird." He panics mildly earning a small giggle from me. "It's not funny." He frowns a bit; "No I'm sorry I'd like to hang out to, your cool. Exchange numbers?" I ask pulling out my cell phone. "Yes!" He does the same us giving and receiving each other's phone numbers. "We should probably head back to class to." He reminded me that the last thing I want is call home considering my current guardians.

As the rest of the day goes on I finally make it to lunch. Navigating the hallways again Betty finds me looking extremely concerned. "Y/N, thank goodness I found you are you ok. I heard what happened and the rumors being spread are awful." My heart immediately sank, rumors. Ok this is exactly like some shity coming of age high school movie now and I hate it. Rumors, what rumors? "I don't- what? Tell me what is going on" is all I'm able to say before pulling her into an empty hallway for an explanation. "People are going around saying that you're gay. I know it may not be a big deal and all but some people are taking it seriously, and I don't know what to tell people who ask about it." The blonde quickly whispers, my face becomes shocked and confused at the same time. "Well?" Betty almost asks waiting for a response. "It's half true, I'm bi. I think, I'm pretty sure." I whisper in a barely audible tone not wanting her to judge me as I rush into trusting a girl I've known for a day. "You know what, if you don't want anyone to know it'll probably blow over hopefully." She says smiling awkwardly "I'll help you get through this just don't worry we'll just hang out and ride out the storm ok. You still up for the mall tomorrow?" She grabs my hand trying to make sure I was calm. My facial expression having not changed since she told me the news. "Yeah I'm up I guess, let's just not comment on the rumors ok. I could care less currently I just wanna let things play out naturally, ok? It's just I don't want to be defined by my sexuality for now that's all. You're right anyway let's just relax and hang out after all it's currently not a big deal unless we make it one. And thanks a lot Betty." I lean in for a hug the blonde opening up her arms for an embrace. "No problem." She squeezed a bit tighter.

LATER THAT DAY

"Listen kid I understand I'm great and all, but you don't have to wear that shirt around if all you wanted was an autograph." Sam said with a cocky smirk as he sat down on the couch along with Bucky, and Wanda earning chuckles from you three. "Be careful Sam, if your head fills up with anymore air you might leave the atmosphere" Bucky begins to laugh with Wanda and I. "Or he could do us a favor and pop" I begin to laugh harder despite the fact that we were watching Bird Box. After a while of comebacks from Sam and Wanda we all eventually calm down. Watching Sandra Bullock and the kids making it down the rapids without Tom when all of a sudden. "Wait What!?!?" Wanda seems to have realized something as Bucky seemed to have pointed something out. Barns seems to be about to spit it out as well with a squinty smirk on his face; "Hey kid." I look at him and the others confused not knowing what to expect. "Who's shirt is that?" What, what does that oh... I can feel my ears heat up as Wanda and Sam's smirks grow. Bucky's eyes squint a bit more as his face looks like it's jokingly saying 'You little bastard.' Implying that he's thinking something dirty and at this point I really regret not showing and changing as soon as I got home because honestly I'm fucked.

Previous Chapter/

An: So I feel like my story is better a bit rushed if so please tell me. This also wasn't revised I forgot so feel free to correct any errors. Don't feel so good about it. May not be my best work.

Also the first paragraph of the chapter was ment to be the ending of the last chapter

Please give opinion I would love you here your thoughts on the second chapter also I think the reader in this is gonna be bi as in most stories the reader is usually full on gay regardless it doesn't matter because it is an x Peter Parker fic so yeah

Ps there may or may not be foreshadowing about something that's going to happening in the future of somebody's relationship

Tag List (ask to be put on)

@klanceiscannon14 @wiitchy-wooo @multifandom-slytherin @jonnyjay2413 @lazerman217 @stuffdealwithit @sorceressandy @sunshadetrees @filthydeatheaters

[shock]

I don't dwell often on the negatives in my life and I think that lack of focus on it really destroys a lot of the power it has (for me, specifically, this isn't intended to be advice) -

but it is so strange to have so much of my trauma come up in courses I take in the last few years of my schooling, and how 1) bizarre and complicated and unusual my experience was, and 2) how easy it is for me to talk about and work through it with a context of using it to help educate myself and others so we as colleagues are prepared for our clients.

I just feel like a well-rounded person these days. As a kid i got locked in rooms, starved, treated like a doll, had my life threatened, was made to lighten my skin, was medically tortured, forced to see things no kid should ever see for other people's amusement or as punishment, I was gas lit so much that I had no understanding of reality, I've seen so much death and suffering and both sides of my birth family have so much intergenerational mental illness, suicide, substance abuse, the list goes on, I just packed everything and left "home" at 17, would go to school at 3am because it was the only safe place for me to do homework, everything was so severe and intense that I developed disorders that usually don't surface until much later, the fact that one of my first memories ever is a near-death experience, just...

it's weird to read through all of that and to look back and think, I'm not a ruined person. I felt ruined for a very long time, and honestly most of the time I didn't even feel that I WAS a person, I felt like I could never be anything except a book that kept track of my trauma, or something. or like, a blob that encompassed all of that and nothing else.

I'm just proud of myself. I've been learning through so much hard work and so much fighting to get to the point that I can compliment myself and think of myself as someone with a unique set of skills, talents, etc. I've learned to sift through this wreckage that I thought I couldn't salvage and I just keep finding more and more and more pieces of things I can build on and build on.

[fluffi]

so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.