#I've been thinking for the past week and I still can't quite find the right words to say

[seri-fx]

curtain call

[edward-munson]

I don't care | S.H.

Summary: Taking care of Steve after he was attacked by an army of demobats seems like a lot of work, only because apparently he doesn't like you.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of injury, allusion to smut

Word count: 2.2k

☆°•○♡

"You want them spicy or not?" You ask Steve as you make nachos for dinner for both of you.

He's lying on the couch, on his back. He still recovers from the attack of the demobats. His neck is almost fully scarred, but the bites on his stomach and his sides are still painful. You've been laying low together for close to two weeks.

Your friends didn't want to make you team up with them to find Vecna and kill him. Not that you're not brave or strong enough to do so. But you're still pretty new to all of this and someone had to stay with Steve. So you didn't even bother opposing the idea, even though he's not your biggest fan.

God knows why, he never told his reasons. And your friends didn't know either. Maybe Eddie did, but he wouldn't open his mouth about it.

"I still think this is really unnecessary. I'm not a fucking child" He complains as he walks past the kitchen door, leaning against the sink.

With crossed arms, he looks at your food. You made chilli beans, guacamole and cheese sauce for the spicy nachos. You look up at him, trailing your eyes on his neck for an instant before raising an eyebrow to him.

"You can't even hold your own weight, Harrington. Stop being a crybaby".

Steve scoffs at you, but doesn't move an inch from his position. "Jesus, I wish we had another plan".

You drop the spoon you were using, turning your face to look at him. "I'm only doing this because they asked me to. Get off your own ass".

You leave the kitchen, walking out to the bedroom you were sleeping on. You were staying at his house. It's not like there were other options, but you couldn't refuse to stay there when he's alone and barely walking. Well, he can walk. The worst part is that he needs rest because of his wounds.

The past two weeks you've been quite getting along. Not that much, really. It's not like you were friends. Probably more like close acquaintances. Because obviously, he was the one pushing you away.

You didn't leave your room for a while, you were too annoyed to eat, and since it was dinner for the two of you, it didn't feel like you should eat anymore. You decided to spend your time watching something on the TV, which would easily make you get bored.

And then you would read books, or write stuff. It's been pretty tough lately since Vecna appeared. Max almost got killed and now she was staying at Dustin's house. The other kids were coming back to Hawkins to help, maybe Eleven might be able to do something about that.

You actually wished you were doing something fun. Like, taking a trip to the beach or snowboarding since it's fall and the weather has been cold. Your thoughts were pushed back by a knock on the door. Steve didn't open it and you didn't mention doing it either, so he just stayed there.

"Sorry I was an idiot" His voice came out muffled through the closed door. "I know I've been cranky and annoying".

You only opened the door after a couple of minutes, not exactly sure if he was still there. But he looked up from the floor at you. "You used to be nice. I mean, way before this curse happened".

He stayed quiet, because you were right. But what else can he do if the world was turned upside down (almost literally) again? And you almost got them killed once, not on purpose of course.

You were also the one to get too close to Robin and he hated seeing his best friend sharing her friendship with someone else. Because up until then, he was the only one she was the closest he had to a friend, even though he had a strong relationship with Eddie too.

None of it was your fault, but he grew annoyed over you. He couldn't lie to himself and say you weren't too kind and helpful. But he started to become extremely unenthusiastic over you through the year.

"A lot has happened since then. I'm trying to live up to the fact that we're against another monster again" Steve leans an arm against the doorframe, but refuses to keep his gaze at you.

"Which isn't my fault, by the way. Not to mention I'm the one who pulled you out of the watergate before you were eaten".

Another few seconds of silence, which was followed by a sarcastic nasal laugh. He shook his head and hung it low to the floor.

"Oh, you want a prize for that? Because I remember clearly when I didn't ask for your help!" His words were harsh, even if not intended.

But now you were the one who didn't know what to say. Until you feel the bitter taste on your tongue.

"Guess I should've let them rip your skin apart, then".

He saw the door shutting in front of him, cursing himself for being extremely idiotic and insensitive. He almost felt like punching his own face for that.

Steve heard you talking to Eddie that night through your walkie talkie. It was a little bit hard to hear because the reception was static for you. But you could listen to Eddie and God, you missed him and the others. It started to become unbearable to live with Steve. He heard you lament the whole situation, complaining about the way you were treating each other.

He was bitter about the things they were going through. He was angry he couldn't have done more. And he was taking it out all on you. He couldn't face another apology on the same day, because he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not right now.

The next day, he made breakfast by himself. It took you by surprise, but by the time you were up, he had already eaten. And you wouldn't want to eat with him either. You remember Nancy saying the bickering was just "sexual tension" but you knew it didn't have anything to do with that.

Even though you felt your ears burning from the thought, you couldn't deny to yourself that he was pretty charming. And seeing him shirtless whenever he would change the gauze made you feel weird. God, his hair was always pretty while yours looked like a bird nest after waking up.

The day seemed to have lasted longer since you haven't exchanged a single word to each other. He was focused on watching movies, playing video games and listening to music. He was getting bored out of his mind, but there wasn't much he could do being injured.

You, on the other hand, went out to do some errands. In fact, you didn't care you left him alone. You were getting tired of staying inside. So you went to see Max, and invited her to eat at Burger King. She seemed to feel better to do something like that too. Everything seemed pretty fuzzy lately.

Will, Mike and Eleven were pretty close to Hawkins. Thanks to Argyle who thinks he's a speed racer, and Jonathan who encourages him to drive long hours so they can arrive as soon as possible.

It was almost 7 PM when you came back home. You've finally had some fun after a week. You obviously couldn't be going out since they still haven't found Vecna and he knows about you too. The man in front of you seemed pretty pissed that he didn't see you were out until he woke up two hours ago.

"What? Don't give me that father look" You dropped your backpack on the floor and followed upstairs.

He's got a whole show prepared and he wasn't feeling like he would regret it this time.

"You know you can't just fucking go out and yet, you still do" He walked behind you, like a mother scolding a child.

"Yeah, dad. I know so. But here I am, back in pieces" You turned on your heel to look at him before closing your door.

Much to your dismay, he was faster this time, holding it with his right foot and right hand. Even injured, he was still stronger than you.

"No, don't push it. You can be an easy target for him, you know that?"

You huff, dropping your arm to your side. "Look, Harrington. I'm an adult, and I'm very aware of what I do or don't do. So please, just stop making a scene and leave me the fuck alone".

Steve couldn't even stand arguing with you anymore, it was so tiring. But he knew he would blame himself if something ever happened to you out there. He couldn't let this happen to you, even though you've been annoying him for whatever reason.

He took a step towards you, his hands balling into fists. The way your eyes were boring into him in an unamused face irritated him even more.

"Look, honey" His tone was purely sarcastic and you felt it not only in his voice, but in his demeanor too. "You know you're putting yourself at risk doing that. If I'm not fucking sure you're safe as well, I won't live with that".

At each passing second, you could feel him walking to you, but you couldn't walk back. You couldn't run from him, you couldn't get away from him. You wouldn't, you didn't feel like you wanted to.

"And not just because of my friends, they sure would kill me. But because I couldn't lose another person" You feel his breathing hitting your face, his eyes flicking as he looks at you.

He looks down at you with such intensity, it's crazy how there's a magnetic pull towards him.

You hold his gaze, feeling a cold shiver down your spine. He didn't look like he was about to snap at you, even though his tone was a bit loud.

He furrows his brows when he sees your lip curling into a smirk. "Well, Steve" His fingers move by the sound of his name, you always call him Harrington. "I thought you didn't care if I died or not".

This time, he was the one to smirk at you. "Honey, I don't remember saying I never cared about you".

Your stomach sank at that. Because now as you think of it, it comes crashing down as a realization that he never really said anything related to that. He truly never spoke about it.

"Doesn't seem like it"

"You see, this is why you annoy me so much" His nose bumps into yours, but he still gazes at you like he doesn't mean to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah? Then you should–" He doesn't let you finish your sentence.

Steve crashes his lips against yours, his hands flying down your hips. He feels your immediate reaction as you don't correspond right away. For a few seconds, he thinks he's done the wrong thing and almost regrets it, until you grab him by the neck with both hands. You wrap your fingers around his neck, your fingertips grazing the nape of his hair.

Your lips are smacking his lips in a hurry, while he runs a hand to cradle your face. He slips his tongue into your mouth and holds his breath when he feels your tongue moving in sync with him. He doesn't want to admit this is what he wished he could've done before.

Steve has been so stressed lately that he could only think about defeating Vecna. He didn't realize how much you were willing to take care of him these weeks. All he knew was that he also had to take care of you. And this is why he became so angry when you left without him knowing.

Especially because if something did happen to you, he would feel the regret of being an asshole to you.

He rips a low whimper from you when he gently grasps your lower lip by his teeth as he heaves against your mouth. You're both too absorbed into your own feelings, leaving grunts and gripping each other everywhere.

His fingers were digging your skin every time you would kiss his jawline and he was growing eager. He didn't want to look like he was trying to take advantage of you, only noticing now how much you also wanted this.

He then roughly pulls your shirt off, watching as your chest is quickly rising and falling. And his eyes sparkled when he saw your cleavage for the first time like that. Your bra perfectly hugging your round big breasts.

Steve didn't wait any longer, holding your waist and pushing you back against your bed.

That night, he pounded on you just like you dreamed about. He slapped his hips against your ass just like you wished someone would one day. The air was filled with sounds and lust.

You didn't even notice when your friends arrived right after he had an orgasm. You didn't have time to get dressed, only getting caught when Robin opened the door to you both naked. He didn't have time to remove his condom. She saw you naked. And worse. She saw her best friend naked.

And you thought it was going to be awkward, until Eddie turned the awkwardness into "I knew these idiots would fuck".

The night was all about this. They decided to leave the Vecna subject for the next day.

[everestgale]

Whatever you're trying to do right now, you don't have to do it alone.

------

Happy New Year's Eve, Slay the Princess community!

A long, long message and credits to the designs are under the cut.

[Please excuse any awkward sentences, weird repetitions, and grammatical mistakes, I've been awake for 20 hours or so]

I cannot describe how much joy I feel right now, finally getting this drawing done. I feel nothing but joy when I think about Slay the Princess, and I feel nothing but pure adoration when I think about and spend time in this community. This game and this community truly brought a lot of happiness to me and made this otherwise unremarkable, maybe even depressing, year that much brighter. I wish I had more and better words to describe what I'm feeling right now! Genuinely, I don't have words to describe how much gratitude I feel right now.

And so for my final piece of 2024, I wanted to make a thank you drawing to this community and hopefully express the fraction of love and gratitude I feel right now. And I decided to make that drawing a group photo of 30 different Heroes! It ended up being 29 Heroes and one Opportunist, but I promise there is a reason for that-

If I had more time and energy, I would've included even more people, there are so many skilled artists, writers, and wonderful people in general who ended up excluded, especially due to this drawing being a voice-centered piece. But I'm glad I at least get to highlight some of the wonderful creators and artists in this community! Please check them out and support their work! They are all amazing <3

If you wanted to know who is the author behind each design, I made an annotated version! Sorry if the text is too small, I tried my best to write it as large as I could T-T

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Now onto the message to the people in the drawing:

First! I sincerely apologize if I missed some details with your Hero design, or if I used an outdated version of it. I wanted to keep this a surprise, and for some of these, I had to dive into the depths of Tumblr to find (hopefully) relevant references. And yes, if you've received a DM from me about your Hero in the past few weeks or so, this project was the reason why! And if you've received an anonymous ask about your Hero, there is a quite good chance it was from me, too <3

And second! I have a message for each and every one of you:

@acethekenku: Your designs are so well-made and awesome! Especially adore your Broken and Contrarian, there's something about them that just immediately catches my eye! Your Contrarian's fashion and DIY skills are also immaculate :]

@artificial-radiance: Your art is absolutely wonderful, whether it's Slay the Princess, Destiny 2, or sonas! I wish I had a better word to describe your art, but the best I got is "delicious" /lh

@beartitled: I adore your StP comics! I adore your drawings of male!Princesses! I adore your non-StP work! Everything you make is so charming, and it's always a joy to see your work <3

@bubblybloob: One of my favorite fanart memes, to this day, is your old "I do not control the speed at which princesses die" meme. I still go re-read it sometimes when I'm not feeling great, it always puts a smile on my face (yes, this is my kind of humor). Though, your new voice designs are SO creative and unique! Love the fluffy Para and the prophetic cage Skeptic especially, but they are all so good <3

@coldranger: Your lads! So simple and yet so well-designed and expressive! That roadrunner Hunted you shared yesterday is so adorable, I can't with him! It is always wonderful to see more of your drawings. Also thanks for gushing with me over mod Owl's designs <3

@cookiealchemieart: I recently mentioned that you are one of my first Tumblr follows, and it's for a good reason! You made a lot of wonderful illustrations, and your three fan princesses are some of my favorites of all the ones I've seen before! And your voice designs, gosh, I am hugging your Contrarian-

@dampfur: Your art is unbelievably charming! And when I saw your Burned Bridges post with redesigns for Cold and Smittten, I absolutely fell in love with them. I will use this space to gush about just how simple and yet adorable and recognizable they are!

@glitchh1337: Always love seeing what you are up to on Discord! Whether it's design concepts for voices or little pixel art animations, they are all wonderful :]

@justcherryqwq: Your animations!!! Cherry, your animations are pure gold. The way you draw voices as little guys flying around the scene/the Long Quiet is just too perfect. I am also grabbing and petting your Paranoid, gently, of course!

@occatorcreator: You have one of the most unique voice designs/representations I've ever seen! Especially in that one post where you drew voices taking over Long Quiet's body, the way you drew the "possession" is just... so unique, so cool! I wish I had better words!

@orcatnip: I cannot describe how much delight your sketches bring me whenever they show up on my dash! And the way you wrote about voices appearing as fractures in Long Quiet's soul! Oh! Genuinely obsessed!!!

@pareidolla: Your voice designs are very pretty and very adorable! As you can see, I immediately had to try drawing your current iteration of Hero because he is SO PRETTY! I couldn't help myself. Sorry if I was too hasty in my decision to include an in-progress design, but I wanted you to be included here-

@remaking-machine: Rema!!! Your voices!!! They are so precious and charming! Love your Cheated, love your Hero, love your Skeptic! You were one of the first people I found & followed on Tumblr, and it's been such a joy to see what you're up to <3 [Also, I still would like a tray of Hero cookies-]

@salty-an-disco: Your writing, at least from what I've seen of it, is awesome! I genuinely wish I had the attention span to read your Heathens AU because whenever I see you talk about it, or draw anything for it, I love it a lot! Hopefully one day I will, but for now, I am here to admire your art :]

@sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now: Hey, who let this bird-fox into this gathering of Heroes-

Jokes aside, I am absolutely obsessed with your voice designs, and I really, really wanted to include you in this drawing, despite the fact that you are still working on your Hero design. Thank you for letting me include your Opportunist in this drawing, I cannot WAIT to see your Hero design <3

@tai-janai: Your drawings are so delightful, and I love the way you draw your voices! Your voice shipping sketches are also so adorable, and your HeA-inspired ParaHero sketch sometimes decides to show up in my head and not pay any rent (I love it a lot)!

@voiceofthebroken: Remember how I mentioned that your Cheated post inspired one of my upcoming projects? Yes, it was this one. You are responsible for this /lh

Don't want to repeat myself too much from the ask I sent yesterday, but I will once again say that I love your voice designs, and I will once again compliment your Cheated and Hunted. They are precious! <3

@wysteriaisapenguin: Your art is so charming and so recognizable! Your most recent HeA drawing is absolutely stealing my heart in a way that I cannot describe!!! I also really like your Hero design, he was an absolute joy to draw <3

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Oh look, there's more, too!

@sonjalikestodraw: Sonja! Oh Sonja, everything you make is just SO PERFECT, your pieces are always so stellar and carefully crafted, and your voice designs are so thoughtful and so iconic, I love it every time you make a post with a little write-up of your design notes! It's always such a joy to read!!

0th: To say that your designs and your writing inspired my own would be saying nothing at all, they were some of the first I've seen! They will always have a special place in my heart as "the designs" that greatly contributed to my own final designs! And your Swap AU still is one of my favorites in the whole fandom, love all the unique designs you made for it!! Noble my beloved <3

@itsonlypolite: The way your voices ingrained themselves in my brain, I cannot describe it! Your designs are truly some of the most unique, most recognizable designs in the fandom. You deserve every single positive comment and compliment on your art and designs!!! I also love how you reply to people's asks with little drawings of your own. It's so charming and welcoming <3 It's also always pure joy talking to you!

@cammie-yammie: I am very glad that I got over my anxiety and started talking more and hanging out in your thread! I love your art, always so charming, so distinctly you, just such joy to look at, and I'm glad I got to engage with it more, and with you as a person!!! Damn, these sentences are confusing lol Long story short, love your art, love talking to you, and it's just pure joy either way <3

@lavb-b: I am not kidding when I say that your Businessman animation rewired something in my brain, whenever I watch it, I cannot stop myself from laughing, even though at this point I've seen it like 20+ times already. Besides that, your art in general is just such high-quality work, and I love talking to you on the Discord server! Welcoming you with open arms to EG's Yap Central Station /lh

@phantasmatoucan (mod Owl): OWL HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS- You have no idea how obsessed I am with your art, you have SUCH a distinct, awesome style, and the way you designed your voices brings me so, so much joy. And not only are you a skilled artist with amazing voice designs, but you are also just such a positive person, too!!! How is this possible!!! What's your secret!!!

@hello-universe-lovers: Your reblog comments always make me happy, and I absolutely love chatting with you!!! The little interaction you wrote between our Cheateds brought me so much joy as I was finishing this project <3 And even besides that, your art is so charming, and also apparently you are a wizard who draws everything with your finger- I cannot understand such witchcraft /lh

@neverpathia: You are the reason I QPR-ship ParaHero! You got these birds in my brain, and I can't get them out, how dare you (/lh). Jokes aside, I really like your writing, especially the way you write voices, and your art is also very pretty, I love it a lot! It's also such a joy to have you hang out in my art thread, thanks for doing that :]

@disarraydoodlez: Jam! And Kiri! Your art is so iconic, Kiri's desire for perfection never goes unnoticed, and Jam's chaotic silly ideas are always such a highlight (I'm still waiting for you to finish that one Den idea. The one we kept laughing about for like 30 minutes. That one). Thanks for inviting me to the PotC one-shot, I had a lot of fun playing it, and I'm glad we still hang out and chat sometime! Love everything you make, regardless of the fandom, and I can't wait to see what you both will make next <3

@s3viien (they mostly exist on BSky, check them out there!): Sev! My partner in crime! One of my biggest cheerleaders, you have no idea how much how dearly I appreciate it. I love sharing all my random ideas with you, and I love hearing about all of yours! Your art, your videos, and your music are all PEAK, and I'm always happy to see what you've been up to! To our friendship for as long as it lasts <3

@inkedout: And last but certainly and absolutely not least, Ink, my friend, you are one of the big reasons why I feel as comfortable writing all of this right now as I am right now. I cannot put into words just how much I appreciate you as a friend!! it is always such a joy to talk to you, whether it's about StP, or ATR, or a different fandom, or just life in general! I love seeing all your art, your OCs, and anything else you might have <3

Also voice shipping. There are certain ships, you probably know which ones, that are now stuck in my head because of you. I blame you /lh

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I believe that should be all I have to say! Happy New Year's Eve again, and I will see you all in 2025!

[lucy90712]

Finding out you’re pregnant

A/n: Happy new year guys. As promised for the new year this is the start of a pregnancy mini series. New parts will be out when I can get them done hope you enjoy ~ Lucy 

Gavi: 

Over the past week or so I haven't been feeling right I've felt nauseous most days and just overall not myself. I have also missed my period which only really points to one thing but I don't want to believe it. Pablo and I are still so young sure we've been together for nearly 3 years now but having kids isn't something we've talked about much. We both want them but it was always an in the future thing so for it to maybe be happening now has me panicking. I know I should take a test to find out for sure but I'm scared because once I know the result it becomes real and if I'm pregnant I have to tell Pablo. 

Today though I feel like I can't put it off anymore I have to find out and deal with the consequences whatever they are. I can't do it alone though so I went out and got a test as Mikky is coming over with Miles and I figured she'd be a good person to have around when I find out as she's been through it all. When she arrived I told her how I'd been feeling and my plan and she was encouraging me straight away telling me that everything would be fine. After I took the test she waited with me and even looked at the result first as I was too scared even though I already knew what it would be. Once my suspicions were confirmed and I knew I was pregnant the conversation turned to how to tell Pablo, Mikky suggested doing something simple like just giving him the test in a box so that's what we set up. 

When Pablo finally got home Mikky left leaving just the two of us. Being alone with him I felt so nervous I mean what is he going to think he doesn't often get mad at me but I can see this being one of the rare times he does. Surely he doesn't want to be tied down by a baby when his career is just starting out I know he wants to enjoy being young but I don't know if he can do that for much longer. 

"Are you ok you've been extra quiet ever since I got home" Pablo said 

"I'm fine but I have something for you" I said handing him the box 

"You're pregnant" he whispered clearly shocked 

"Yeah I am and I know we said we weren't ready for kids so I'm sorry and I get if you want nothing to do with me now" I rambled

"Hey it's ok I'm actually really excited we're starting our own family sure it's sooner than I imagined but I can't wait to see this baby grow" he said giving me a kiss which made me feel a lot better 

Pedri: 

Pedri and I have talked about having kids. Starting a family is something we both want but neither of us are quite ready yet or at least we weren't but now we might have to be. I've been feeling quite sick the last few days and straight away my mind went to the day Pedri and I weren't as careful as we usually are which of course has come back to haunt us. I wanted to ignore it and at least wait for my period to be late but Pedri wanted to know now and I'm not going to say no. 

To find out we needed a test as I don't keep them on hand as we are always careful so I don't keep tests for emergencies but maybe I should. Pedri wanted to come in the store with me but he also didn't want us to be seen and for someone to put our business all over social media. So it was just me who went in wearing sunglasses and a mask so no one recognised me either. It was so nerve wracking buying the test especially when the cashier wished me luck I felt like a teenager sneaking around behind their parents back. On the drive home Pedri held my hand the entire way trying to help calm me down which was a sweet gesture but it didn't really help. 

Back in the comfort of our own home I went straight to the downstairs bathroom to take the test. Pedri stood with me as we waited the 5 minutes for the results his arms were around my waist and my head rested on his chest as I thought about what the result might mean for us. It all feels like a lot but having Pedri there made me feel a lot better as it felt like we were truly in this together. The timer I set scared the both of us as we were in our own little world but quickly we were brought back to reality. As I went to flip the test my hands were shaking so Pedri put his hand on top of mine and we flipped the test together. Two very obvious lines stared back at us both which I thought would make me feel nervous but I was actually overwhelmed with excitement. 

"I can't believe it I'm actually so excited" Pedri said 

"Me too I thought I'd be more scared but I'm actually so happy" I said 

"Clearly we were ready to take this step and just needed the push to realise it" he said 

Jude: 

Jude has always said he doesn't want kids and I was on board with that as having kids isn't something I've ever been crazy about. It isn't something I ever ruled out completely as you know people can change their minds but in my mind that was at least 5-10 years in the future if ever. Recently though I've just felt off like somethings not right so when my period was a few days late my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. Any normal person would probably tell their partner and they would figure it out together but I'm terrified to tell Jude in case he leaves me as he has made it very clear multiple times that having kids isn't something he wants. 

This fear is exactly why I went and got a test and took it on my own without anyone knowing. I could've talked to one of my friends but I didn't want anyone to possibly let it slip to Jude as I need to be the one to tell him. Of course the result was exactly as I feared it would be I was very much pregnant. I cried for hours after I found out as I knew I had to tell Jude and deal with whatever the consequences will be which will probably end with me doing this alone when Jude ultimately decides to leave me. Realistically I should've told him that day to get it over with but I couldn't handle it mentally so I put it off. 

It has now been over a week and I am still hiding this big secret from Jude, I have wanted to tell him I really have but the right moment hasn't come up yet. He is starting to get a bit suspicious though as he keeps asking me if I'm ok and giving me weird looks when I say I'm fine. As I've waited so long I've built up this moment so much that I'm so scared for it to actually happen. 

"Hi love how are you?" Jude asked as he arrived home from training 

"I'm good how was your day?" I asked back 

"What's up with you I can tell you are keeping something from me please just tell me what it is whatever's wrong we can figure it out together" he nearly begged 

"Please don't be mad but I'm pregnant" I finally blurted out 

"Wow that's not what I was expecting" he said 

"I'm sorry just please don't leave me" I cried 

"I'm not going to leave you I promise I just wasn't expecting that I know I said I didn't want kids but for some reason I feel different with you I'm ready to step up and for us to do this together I'm actually kind of excited" he said 

"I love you" was all I managed to say 

"I love you more" he said 

Joao: 

Joao and I have been together for a few years and engaged for a year now and after moving to London we had a discussion about our future together and ultimately we decided that both of us were ready to take the next step and start a family. Even though we said we were ready we agreed that we didn't want to rush the process at least not right now so we wanted to take a more casual approach. I stopped taking my birth control but I haven't been tracking my cycle or doing anything special as I'm under the impression that it will happen when it happens. 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling really ill I just have no energy and I have been feeling nauseous most days. To start with I just got on with my life as I thought it was just a little cold or something but as time has gone on and I've not got any better I realised it must be something more. Joao made me call off work the past few days to rest and see if that makes me feel any better but that hasn't helped either. After another day of barely leaving our bed Joao suggested I take a pregnancy test just to be sure as then if it's not that he will definitely make me go to the doctors. 

Luckily I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom for situations like this so Joao helped me out of bed and I took the test with him waiting for me right outside. I sat the test on my bedside table and we just waited. Joao had me sat in his lap on the edge of the bed stroking my hair but we sat in silence while I thought about whether I could actually be pregnant. It hasn't been long at all since I stopped taking my birth control and I didn't think it would happen this quickly but if it did that would be really exciting. The 5 minute timer Joao set passed rather quickly and suddenly it was time to learn if our lives will be changed forever or if I'm just really run down. 

"I'm pregnant" I said not quite believing what the test in my hand read

"I can't believe it who knew it would happen so quickly" Joao said 

"I know we haven't even been trying properly" I said 

"At least we know why you have been feeling so awful now" Joao laughed 

Ruben: 

Ruben and I have been trying for a baby for almost a year now. To start with we were trying more casually but then I started tracking my cycle and we did things properly but that didn't work either. We have tried every tip and trick and still no positive pregnancy test. There has been times that I've had symptoms like nausea and I've even been late on my period a few times but still every month I'm greeted with a negative test. It's been hard as I want nothing more than to start a family with Ruben and I just feel so useless that I can't get pregnant like every other woman I know can. 

Again this month I've had some symptoms like being extra tired and not liking food I usually love but I don't want to get my hopes up as I've been in this position before and only been let down. It's always difficult not to get a bit excited at the prospect of finally being pregnant but I don't think I can handle another disappointment at least not night now. The amount of times I have wanted to just give up have only increased especially recently, this whole process is just making me feel awful and I don't know if it is worth it especially right now. 

Ruben wants me to take a test again and I can see why but I've been putting it off to avoid the disappointment. I promised him that today I would take a test but we agreed that if it was negative that we'd take a break from trying and I wouldn't take another test for a while just to protect my mental health. Of course Ruben came back from training super excited but I just can't get myself to feel the same way. Despite that I still took the test and just gave it to Ruben as I simply don't want to see the one line I've become accustomed to seeing. 

"I-it's positive" Ruben chocked out a few minutes later 

"What?" I questioned 

"It's positive we're going to have a baby" Ruben said handing me the test so I could see for myself 

He wasn't wrong there was two clear lines on the test. Neither of us could stop the tears from flowing as Ruben picked me up and spun me round which made me feel quite sick but I couldn’t care less I was just so happy this nightmare has finally ended with the result we wanted. 

[abiatackerman]

Hiii. Could I request Levi x Platonic!teen

Levi discovered Kenny had a daughter, who somehow ended up in the 104th. Kenny was an ab*sive deadbeat, we know that. When both find out, Levi actually makes an effort to build a familial relationship with his cousin, and takes on a mentor and older brother type role (though he wont admit it).

It just so happens that she is with him, during the fight with Kenny (hehe, the battle your homepage gif is from). The minute theyre shot at and see who it is, Levi yells his name like in canon, and his cousin panics for a brief moment. Levis protective instinct flares. Then however the rest of the fight plays out is up to you.

Thank you, but no pressure to write this one if you dot feel comfortable Have a good week!

Hello anon! Thank you for requesting! That's a really unique request! I was very excited to write about this since I love writing about brother/dad Levi! Though I've skipped the fighting scene (since that's not my thing) but I'm actually glad about how it turned out! I hope you'll like it too!

A soldier and a brother

⚔️Levi Ackermann x Female reader⚔️

Canon universe! Cousin Levi x Cousin reader! Sibling moments! Slight comedy and fluff! Wholesome Moments! 1.2k words!

Summary: After joining the Survey Corps, you reveal to Levi that you're Kenny's daughter. What starts as a tense, reluctant bond slowly turns into something neither of you expected—a real family.

Tags: @theremainsof @spouseofleviackerman @levisbrat25 @itsnathateasy @violentvaleska @dreamerofthewest @meowmewow7 @mikabella7 @satorella @sugacor3 @darkstarlight82 @derealizationns

🩷If you wanna be tagged let me know🩷

✨Masterlist✨

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Levi doesn't think about Kenny much anymore. The old bastard left his mark, sure, but he's been out of Levi's life long enough that there isn't much left to uncover.

Or so he thought.

Then one day, he learns Kenny had a daughter.

And that daughter is standing right in front of him, wearing the uniform of the Survey Corps.

He exhales sharply, his mind drifting back to the conversation he had with Erwin earlier.

"She's an impressive recruit," Erwin had said, setting a file down on his desk. "Top of the 101st Cadet Corps. And yet, instead of choosing the Military Police like most first-ranked cadets, she joined us."

Levi barely raised an eyebrow. "Tch. Either she's crazy or she has a death wish."

Erwin chuckled. "Maybe. Or maybe she believes in our cause more than most." He folded his hands together. "Her name is Y/N. An exceptionally skilled fighter—almost unnatural reflexes. She reminds me of someone."

Levi clicked his tongue. "Who?" Frowning, he flipped through the pages, scanning the details. "She's fast, strong… almost too strong for a rookie."

Erwin nodded. "Her abilities are on par with yours. That's why I looked into her past." He leaned forward slightly. "She's from the Underground."

Levi froze. His grip on the paper tightened.

"What do you mean?" His voice came out rougher than intended.

Erwin simply leaned back in his chair, watching him carefully. "I thought you'd find that interesting. She'll be arriving at HQ soon. You might want to meet her yourself."

Levi exhaled sharply, irritation creeping in. He didn't like the way Erwin was looking at him—like he already knew something Levi didn't. That damn intelligent bastard always saw things before anyone else.

And now, as you stand in front of him, Levi finally understands why Erwin was so smug about it.

You meet his gaze without hesitation, arms crossed over your chest. You're about his height, lean but built for speed, and something about your stance feels oddly familiar. Not quite Kenny, not quite him either.

But the bluntness? The boldness? That's all Kenny. Maybe even more.

Levi still can't believe that on your first day in the Survey Corps, you had walked straight into his office—without knocking—and said, as casually as if you were discussing the weather:

"You're Levi? Well, I'm Y/N. Kenny's daughter."

He had been drinking tea. Nearly choked on it.

And you? You hadn't even batted an eye.

Now, you stare at him with those sharp eyes. "Figured I should introduce myself, since we're family and all."

Levi exhales through his nose, too stunned to scold you. "Kenny never mentioned having a kid."

"Not surprised." Your voice is light, laced with sarcasm, but he catches the bitterness beneath it. "You're way older than me. He probably had me after he left you."

Levi watches you carefully. There's no hesitation in your stance, no insecurity—just the same guarded look he once carried himself. He doesn't ask what Kenny was like as a father. He already knows the answer.

Silence lingers between you, thick yet not uncomfortable. You're waiting for something—for him to acknowledge you, reject you, something.

Maybe, if he were still the same kid Kenny abandoned, he would've brushed you off.

But he isn't.

"Tch." Levi leans back against his desk, arms crossed. "So, what? You joined the Survey Corps just to meet me? Thought people signed up to fight Titans, not chase rumors."

You shrug, smirking slightly. "Heard a lot about you from Kenny. Figured I'd see for myself if you're worth the hype."

Levi narrows his eyes. "And?"

You tilt your head. "Too early to tell."

Cocky little brat— He should've seen that coming.

After all, you two share the same bloodline.

"You're an idiot for picking the Survey Corps," he mutters.

You raise an eyebrow. "And you're not?"

There's a pause. Then, unexpectedly, Levi exhales, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

"Guess stupidity runs in the family."

Something shifts after that.

Levi doesn't say much—he never does—but you start noticing things. The way he corrects your form during training, how he makes sure you eat after long missions, how his sharp eyes always find you first when you return from expeditions.

He never says it outright, but you know.

He's watching out for you.

And for the first time in your life, you let someone.

Four years pass.

You work hard, and as expected, you have become a fine soldier—just like Levi. You wanted to be in his squad, but he refused, saying it would too risky for you. So, you joined Mike's squad instead.

A lot happens after that.

Eren was discovered as a Titan shifter. Levi's entire squad was wiped out by another shifter. Mike was killed. The truth about the Titans—that they were once human—changes everything.

And then, the most shocking revelation of all:

Kenny's squad kidnaps Eren and Historia.

Levi fights him. Gets hurt. Nifa dies.

And after the brutal battle with Rod Reiss's Titan, when exhaustion weighs on everyone's shoulders, you see Levi walking toward you.

But his expression isn't one of victory.

It's grief.

"What's wrong?" you ask, stepping closer.

Levi sighs. His hand grips a wooden box tightly—the Titan serum.

"Kenny's dead."

The words sink in slowly. You don't know how to feel. You never had any real connection with him. Hell, you barely knew him.

But still… he was your father.

"He died to me a long time ago," you murmur. "It's…" You pause.

Levi hesitates, then speaks again, softer this time. "We're not actually siblings. We're cousins."

You blink at him in confusion.

"Kenny was my mother's brother."

Your breath catches. Your eyes sting.

Kenny wasn't a bad person, after all. He was just… lost. A man who lived in the shadows, too broken to be a father. But even so—he had spoken about Levi. He had praised him. More than he ever did you.

Something like jealousy gnaws at you. But before you can dwell on it, Levi's voice cuts through your thoughts.

"He was happy with how you're living your life. He said he was proud of you."

Your throat tightens.

Levi reaches out, ruffling your hair—something he has never done before.

"He told me to take care of you. And… he admitted he was never meant to be a good parent. And that.... He couldn't face you."

You press your lips together, looking down, blinking away tears.

Levi sighs, his hand dropping back to his side.

"No worries, Y/N. I'll try my best to be a good parent to you. I promised Kenny."

A quiet chuckle escapes you, though your eyes glisten with unshed tears.

You look at him, voice thick with emotion.

"You already are."

You take a shaky breath, offering him a small, genuine smile.

"I'm glad I have you, brother."

[sglossmin]

Muse | MYG pt. 12

Plot: What happens when the man you practically simp over in high school, is right now, sitting across you after almost 10 years of not seeing him? Worse? You're here for an appointment for therapy and he's your psychologist.

Pairing: SeniorStudent!Yoongi x JuniorStudent!Reader ---> Psychologist! Yoongi x Artist!Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight age gap, slice of life, a bit of angst, schoolmates to lovers(?) Switch POV

A/N 1: Available on WATTPAD (click here) now too!!

Comment your @ if u wanna be added to the taglist^^

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 11.5

The sun is up and it’s another day. But today is not just any other day—in fact, today is my biggest event. Sounds like a big deal, but it doesn’t feel like it. 

A week has passed since I blurted to Yoongi that I hate him. In the past week, I didn’t even have to try my best to avoid him. He was just… nowhere. Even when I go outside and we coincidentally meet, he’d run back to his house. To the point that I felt like he was avoiding me—when that was supposed to be my job.

It’s about 3 pm now—at least, the last time I checked. I lost track of time as I stared at nothing but the ceiling. I already have the vivid image of the painting that I’ll do at the event later in my head.

Then what could I possibly be thinking? 

Him? No… I’m thinking of nothing in particular, really. Just random thoughts that have been running in my mind for so long.

But also, the call that I got earlier from an old regular client of mine back when I was still staying in America. He’s a nice guy and has real good eyes when it comes to spotting great artworks, if I must say. He called and gave me an offer to mentor some young artists that he sees a lot of potential in. It’ll be for a month and the salary is quite good too.

And if I were to accept, it would only mean I have to go back to America.

I really have no reason to accept or refuse—which only made it harder for me to decide.

Staring at the blank ceiling, my alarm started ringing. I knew it’s time to get off the bed and get ready.

But I really wanna rot in bed more…

I lazily got off from my bed—rolling off from it made me groan pathetically as I fell on the floor. Slowly, I went to the shower.  Not even bothering to take off my clothes, I sat in the bathtub and let the water flow. Once the tub was filled, I turned off the faucet. 

Letting out a sigh, I sank deep into the water as I let the coldness of it wrap around me completely. I held my breath and stayed still.

What if I just let myself drown in here? It'd be fun… like the old days…

Still submerged, my eyes were closed then an image of him flickered in my mind. The look of worry, the way he smiles at me—and the few times I caught him flushed. 

But not just him, I remembered Jimin's cries as he held onto me that day…

He's such a crybaby.

I also remembered Jungkook, Tae, Sana, Chaeyoung… my mom… 

All of them have been worried for me ever since the accident. Maybe… I was being too selfish. I have never asked them what they feel. 

Maybe I grieved so much that I turned a blind eye and made it as an excuse… because I'm too ashamed.

I was too deep in my emotions that I forgot I wasn't the only one suffering.

They are too.

Maybe it's time for me to be there for them. Give back the strength they gave—even though they never asked. 

Life might not always be great, but the little moments are. It's up to the person whether to find meaning and happiness—or keep the solemn silence in them.

I raised my head before I could even drown myself. Panting heavily as I chuckled, thinking how reckless I've been with myself for the past years.

“I can't kill myself now,” I muttered as I stood up and got off the bathtub. Taking off my clothes, I threw it in the basket—leaving me bare. I sighed while I looked at the mirror. My skin is glowing, so different from the Y/n back then. 

What changed? Nothing… But what came back? Simple, my will to live.

“I have a billion to get and a man to confess to.” I said while I stared at my reflection. My eyes that used to be dull and lifeless are now filled with passion. It wasn't anxiety anymore—but adrenaline  that fills me when thinking about the possible things that could happen. 

I dolled myself up for the evening, wearing the black, mid-length dress. I purposely chose to wear black since I'm going to paint after all. The dress features a structured sweetheart neckline and wide shoulder straps, giving it a composed yet feminine silhouette. The bodice is fitted, accentuating the waist before flowing into a soft, A-line skirt that ends around the calves. A sheer chiffon overlay adds a delicate, almost ethereal touch, while a subtle side slit offers just enough movement and intrigue. 

But of course, this whole outfit will be a waste if I ever accidentally splash paint on it, so I made sure to pack an apron. 

I paired my dress with a pair of wine red flat shoes. Tonight is not just about fashion, I also have to be comfortable too since I'd have to move a lot. 

I really wanted to do a low bun for my hairstyle, but I guess my hands are not for it. Which explains why I just did my usual soft waves, but this time, it's tucked behind my ear.

While finishing my makeup, my phone rang and I immediately answered it. I put it on speaker mode so that I can continue my makeup.

“I'm outside,” Jimin said through the phone. 

As I put on the eyeliner, I replied. “Just come in. The door's open.”

Soon, the door of my room flew open, revealing a grinning Jimin. 

He's wearing a sharp black tuxedo with satin lapels and a crisp white dress shirt, slightly unbuttoned at the top that adds a relaxed sophistication. His trousers are tailored perfectly too, elongating his silhouette. But honestly, I think the sleek black leather Chelsea boots is the one that completes his whole look.

“Oh my my my… No wonder you're taking so long,” He smirked as he eyed me up and down.

I rolled my eyes at him then sprayed the setting spray on my face to lock my makeup. “Just finishing actually. And you're not bad yourself. Wait—are you trying to match with me?” I teased as I took one more glance at him.

Jimin raised a brow and replied in his sassiest tone, “Excuse me?”

“You're excused.”

He scoffed, crossing his arms as he replied. “It's called a tuxedo and black is a common color of it. Besides, it's not like I own many things like this. Who would've thought that one day, we'd be attending an event like this.”

Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I smiled. “I know right…”

The second I'm done with makeup, I put my jewelry on.

I sighed, staring at the reflection of mine in my mirror. This is a high-end event and I surely look part of the kind of people who attend it. It's the power of makeup and being stylish, I guess.

Jimin stepped closer, enough for me to see his reflection in the mirror too. He grinned, both satisfied with our look. “Ready, Y/n?”  

“Yeah… I am.”

I didn't know it'd be this flashy when we got inside. With Jimin on my left and Mr Lee—the patron—on my right, we smiled through the camera.

The event is being held in Mr Lee's hotel—in the massive ballroom, to be exact. Multiple chandeliers hang from the ceiling, a bar lines on the side, the stage that was custom-built for me—where there was a large canvas and a seat already in place. Soft lighting and a small group of performers playing jazz music on the corner.

A crowd of more than fifty people watching my every move. As people kept murmuring, I was able to catch some of it.

“Oh gosh, she's prettier in person.”

“Modest, huh? Simplicity is beauty, I guess…”

“I'm really looking forward to her painting tonight!”

“I wonder what vibe she'll paint.”

“Wait—is that her boyfriend beside her?”

“No… it's her manager, I think?”

“Regardless, they both look hot. Their attires are matchy too!”

“I just hope she won't be a mess tonight, I heard she's kinda insane or something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, a friend of a friend of mine has an intel. Seems like L.Y.V. was quite… cray-cray when she was younger.”

Their sudden mentions of weird things about me became louder in my ear. I did my best to shrug it off—not wanting to ruin the night.

After a short greeting, Mr Lee introduced me to everyone. 

“Mic test mic test…” He cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention. “Good evening everyone. Thank you for joining us for what we promise that'll be a wonderful night. 

For tonight… We invited someone special—someone whose work you’ve likely seen without even knowing their name…until recently. An artist who captured my heart—making me feel that I'm heard through her artworks. 

It is truly a rare opportunity to have her here. And if I must say, it's worth every penny.” He chuckled before glancing at my manager who grinned back at him. “I'm truly honored to be the host of her very first live performance. Please welcome, for the first time ever on live canvas… Ms. L.Y.V!”

Everyone applauded, and I bowed out of courtesy. I'm still not used to such a crowd praising me like this—especially since I haven't even started. 

After half an hour of mingling with the guests, it is my time now to perform. From what I researched, artists who had a live painting performed the way they wanted. Some were too exaggerated with their moves, and some painted just like a normal person would do. 

But anyways, what's even considered “normal”? Art is about how you express yourself—at least, that's what I think. 

Art can mean different things to every person. An artist could paint stars, and people would interpret it in different ways. 

Some would say that the stars are our dead ancestors—that when we die, we'll have a place in the sky, and we'll shine bright, making the people look up at us in awe. Some would say that counting these stars is like the meaning of life—meaningless and a waste of time. Then some would say that we are the stars—we all shine, but in different ways.

And I think that's what's cool with art—it's limitless.

“Your imagination is your limit.” It might be my favorite quote. It's from a snack brand I've always seen on TV when I was a kid. The way it was delivered in the most jolly way but it still hit something deep within me. It's been stuck with me ever since.

The musicians keep playing as I get started. Taking a deep breath, I held the brush and started painting the picture in my head. Starting with long strokes, the brush kissed the canvas. I mainly brought three big cans of paint—the primary colors—from biggest to smallest brush, and a couple of paint palette to mix the paints.

I heard from Jimin that Mr Lee likes cats. In fact, he adores my signature. Which is why I decided to do an abstract painting in a portrait form.

A cupid cat holding a bow, but with the arrow pointing backward—like he accidentally aimed at himself. While the other cat is playing on the soft grass and is already lovestruck. 

The time flies by and I'm nearly done—nothing dramatic happens while I paint. Everyone was either watching in awe or murmuring by the people beside them.

While finishing the painting, I noticed something odd. 

What the…

Anyone who'd ever look at this painting will notice it in an instant. Looking at the time left, I knew I'd have no time to “fix” it.

All I did was paint a grassfield with cats… How the heck did it turn out like this…

Anxiety crept in, and I could barely feel the brush in my hand. I just stared at the canvas in front of me as I felt the heat spread across my cheeks.

Oh gosh… This is just peak obviousness.

As I panic mentally, I felt a hand tapping my shoulder. I turned towards to see Jimin smiling at me.

“Hey, you okay? Are you done? You've been staring at it for the past ten minutes.”

I frowned and slightly pouted. “Jimin-ah…” I tilted my head, motioning towards the painting. Jimin looked over the painting and his eyes widened at the sudden realization.

But me nodding seems like a wrong move. The patron took it as a sign that I'm finished and walked towards us.

“Wow… As expected of LYV!” Mr Lee exclaimed and gestured to the photographers to take a picture. “But wait a minute… Is this a portrait of someone..?” He eyed me suspiciously.

Of course, he'd react like that… Would you want to have some guy's face on your house?

Ironically, the cat got my tongue. 

Sensing my embarrassment, Jimin chimed in. “Not just someone—but, cats!” 

He pointed at the supposed star of the painting, who had become just one of the accessories in the face of the man I tried my best to push away in my thoughts for tonight.

“Oh… I get it now! It's an abstract painting… When you look closely, you see a cat inevitably falling in love—since the cupid cat already struck the other cat. And the cupid cat… It might be accidentally? or he purposely did it? Like a suicide—but for falling in love…” he chuckled, eyeing the almost-dry painting.

“And when you look from afar, you'd see a man? Looking back at you in a oh so lovingly, huh? Perhaps, he was the cupid cat.” He joked, making everyone in the room laugh.

“Am I right, Ms Y/n?” 

When he looked back at me, all I could manage to do was nod and laugh along with them. “Y-yeah!… You really got the vibe I was aiming for.”

“You might as well propose to him.” Jimin snorted as he watched me drown myself with drinks—non-alcoholic, this time.

“Oh, come on. I swear… I've never expected it to turn like that. It's like—like my hand is moving on its own!”

“Well, you did great, regardless. Mr Lee's secretary already sent the full payment. It seems like he really loves it.” He grinned as he greeted the ladies who approached us from time to time.

My eyes narrowed at the obvious flirtations of the women. On the other hand, Jimin is a pro. He knew how to keep his smile and refuse politely.

“Why did you keep on refusing them? They're pretty and moreover—richie rich!” We both laughed at my statement. 

“Wow… Do you really think of me that low?” he said as he exaggeratedly pouted.

I frowned, confused at how it is connected with what I said. “What do you mean?”

“I'm your manager. It is my job to look after you. Not fling with those crazy rich people.”

I nodded, understanding what he meant. But me being me, I couldn't help myself but tease him—or else I'd tweak. “Ah… So you're staying on my side because it's your job, huh?”

He scoffed as he rolled his eyes at me. “Whatever lets you sleep at night, Y/n.”

The rest of the night went on with food and cheers. I noticed a lot of celebrities at the party too.

And thank heaven, because of my job—I was able to meet Choi Seung-hyun! T.O.P of BIGBANG himself! 

My teenage self would squeal her head off if I ever told her that. 

Other than the unexpected turnout of my painting… nothing weird happened. Everything went smoothly and now, I'm ready to sleep—with billions of won in my bank account.

(MYG POV)

“HYUNG HYUNG HYUNGGGGG!!!”

All of us turned our head to the youngest as he screamed while staring at his phone.

“Yah! Kim Namjoon, is the movie that scary?” Jin scolds the youngest who's still gaping as he stares at his phone.

We're in Hoseok's house tonight—doing a bit of planning for the trip. But everyone realized that we're all clueless when it comes to this stuff, so we just turned on the TV and watched a movie instead. 

“No… It's Yoongi hyung…”

I frowned, and before I could scoot over and see what's so intriguing about it, Namjoon shoved his phone right in front of my face.

“Yoongi hyung… She drew you on her FIRST LIVE PAINTING!!!” It seems like he lost his sanity with his last words. 

When he dropped the phone, I took it, and saw… my face. The way it was painted was subtle—like it's blending with the scenery. I also noticed the cute cats on it.

He clutched his head, wide-eyed. “Whoa… Hyung! That event was held by a crazy rich Mr Lee. If he doesn't like the painting… Y/n's career would be dead. But seeing the articles coming up now… She really did great.” he chuckled, leaning back. “Oh, to be someone's muse…”

“Wait—so she had been thinking about you all night? Hyung… She must really like you to paint you from memory.” Hoseok teased as he nudged my side.

I couldn't help but blush at the possibility.

“Or! She still hates you… I mean—look at the article. It is said that the figure of the man was the cupid cat. The cat was literally going to kill himself! See where it points??” Jin points at the cat and the arrow head—proving his point.

My smile dropped fast too. I really don't know what she feels about me. She's been giving me mixed signals. 

“But didn't Yoongi hyung give her enough space to ease her mind? Why would she still be mad?” Namjoon asked.

He's right… I've been doing my best to give her space. 

I mentally high-fived myself—thinking I did a good job.

“Are you sure you gave her enough space?” Jin asked.

“Of course! I practically run back to my house whenever we happen to go out at the same time.”

They all nodded, as if also thinking where I went wrong.

After a long silence, deep in thought,  Hoseok finally spoke. “Wait—Hyung… Weren't you just avoiding her?”

My eyes widened at the sudden realization.

“Wha—!”

Taglist:@choijay-07 @sanarin @yooforeaa @this-most-assuredly-counts @minniejim @amarawayne@peacenpigeons @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d @rottingbedpost @emirawht@user3948388

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Yes, yes, we love a bit of hero whump, though may I suggest if it is not too much.... some villain whump? 👀

-💜

Most of the time, the villain could deal with injuries perfectly. In fact, they'd been in med school for several years and had perfected stitching up nearly every inch of their own body. Usually, they wouldn't accept help under any circumstances.

Partly because it felt wrong to bother someone else with their troubles, partly because they were terrified of other people's (non-existing) skills. They couldn't risk it.

But they assumed being placed under house arrest with the hero watching them wasn't exactly usual.

It happened in the middle of a card game between the two of them. A week ago, they would have never agreed to such silly things but after a few days, they had realised there wasn't much to do. No internet connection. No smartphone, no TV. Just this house and a hyperactive hero that couldn't sit still.

Once a week they got to call their parents.

In the exact moment as they put another card onto the stack, the villain felt the stitches open one by one. At first, they simply denied it, made themselves think that it wasn't that bad. They were simply mistaken; it was surely just the usual pain and they were exaggerating.

But the pain increased and they could feel the wetness of the blood trickle down their back. A week ago, before the hero had captured them, they'd been in a pretty rough shape. A swollen face, several nasty bruises and this one stab wound that kept reopening. And stitching their own back? That was more than a little challenge. They hated it, they loathed it.

"I think I have to use the washroom," they said.

"Oh, really? Now that you're losing, huh?" The hero raised an eyebrow. They took these games a little too serious. "Do you seriously expect me to go easy on you because I am the hero? I've been playing this game for years. I have mastered it and I will destroy you, no matter what it takes. No matter what you try, I will-"

"Okay, you win, oh almighty hero." They threw their cards onto the table. It was getting worse. They didn't even know if they could stand up without tripping. Their vision blurred. Everything seemed to turn upside down.

"'Hey, that's not how this works," the hero said. "You can't just give up like that. I was supposed to defeat you."

"M-hm." The villain stood up and for a second, they really thought they would pass out. They took in a deep breath.

"Wait, are you okay?"

"Hm?" The villain didn't find the hero's eyes right away and they could feel their own body sway. God, they needed painkillers, rubbing alcohol, thread, needle... "Yeah, be right back."

They walked past the hero, always in search for something to hold onto but they didn't come very far.

"Oh my god." The hero sounded a little too concerned. The villain thought themselves to be quite a good actor and they weren't even swaying that much. "What the...?"

The hero was next to them in seconds, their hand on the villain's arm. They held onto them.

"What did you do...?"

"What? Nothing, I...oh fuck..." Involuntarily, they grabbed the hero a little too harshly when they felt the wound pulsating.

"Your entire shirt is drenched in blood!" The hero's gaze had hardened and a more concentrated look had replaced their playful smile.

"I got it, it's alright," the villain mumbled. They let go of the hero to drag themselves to the bathroom but the hero had other plans.

"Lay down on the couch," they said.

"You're not my boss," the villain argued. Sometimes, they hated themselves for their stubborness but being nursed by the hero sounded like a greater punishment than even house arrest. Being vulnerable around them, letting someone else take care of them...it sounded like actual hell.

"Please," the hero said. They took the villain's hand and the villain was so confused by this gentle approach that they almost forgot about the pain. They were sure no one else would ever beg to take care of them. When they remembered how violent their capture had been and how many heroes had punched them, they got goosebumps.

They would never tell anyone but they were having nightmares about their fights. Anxiety was eating them up. So, they were almost glad that the hero was observing them at their home.

"It's fine, really," the villain mumbled. "I got it."

"You are bleeding out. You're not fine. Sit down." More or less of their own volition, the villain eventually sat down on the couch. "I'll take your shirt off now, alright?"

The villain's hand was still in theirs.

"Okay," the villain agreed. Their breath hitched and they prepared themselves for the inevitable pain that would follow. However, the hero wasn't rough with them.

"Isn't that from last week?" the hero asked while they pulled the bloody shirt over the villain's head.

"Yeah."

"They gave me an entire protocol about your injuries. There wasn't anything about a stab wound. Just your ankle and your face."

The villain smiled tiredly. "Sounds about right."

It wasn't a big secret that the agency preferred to be silent on how exactly they caught their villains.

Against the villain's burning back, the hero's cold fingers felt heavenly. They put their palm against the villain's skin and pushed them a little forward to see the injury better.

"Did you stitch that yourself?"

"I tried, yeah."

"It looks pretty good," the hero said. "Just give me a second, I will grab everything."

The hero stood up and left for the bathroom.

And the villain sat there, perplexed. When had they ever allowed someone else to even touch them? When had they ever undressed in front of someone else?

What was happening? Were they really this desperate loser who needed comfort that bad?

The villain stared at their hands, their trembling hands. There was no way they could stitch any wound like this, not even if it was on their thigh.

It was more than frustrating, more than a little annoying.

"Is there anything else I should know about? Allergies maybe?" the hero asked. The villain turned around and was surprised to see the hero with all the things they would have grabbed too. There were even painkillers and a glass of water in their hand. The villain shook their head. "Alright. Take this."

All of it was a little...too good to be true. What the hero asked seemed reasonable and their actions were too. The villain swallowed the painkillers and watched as the hero sat on the couch. They pressed a clean towel against the villain's wound and despite their carefulness, the villain hissed.

"Your pain from one to ten? How bad is it?"

"I..." the villain realised they had never thought about it. Usually when they tended to their own wounds they were like a machine, following instructions they had burnt into their system a long time ago. It didn't matter if it burnt or hurt, as long as the wound was closed. But the hero was actually communicating, they were careful and gentle. "...maybe a three?"

"Are you sure?"

"Okay, it's a five." The hero seemed to be another person completely, their jokes and their cheery manner were long gone, yet they were friendly and soft. Apparently, this was the professional side of the hero.

"Do you think it was a clean knife? Your wound doesn't seem to be infected."

"It should have been. Heroes clean their knives regularly, don't they?" For a moment, the hero was quiet and the villain wasn't sure if they had said the wrong thing. They cleared their throat. "Uhm, I can also stitch the wound, if you..."

"No, it's okay. It looks pretty clean, so I'm not going to put any alcohol on it. Don't want to damage your tissue." Woah. The villain had never really cared about that. They'd just drench their wounds in alcohol to kill any infection causing thing, even if that damaged their tissue. "One more thing before I start stitching."

"Yeah?"

"Just out of curiosity. Do you know whom of my colleagues did this to you?"

The villain's stomach tingled. The hero was probably not asking out of pure curiosity.

[beanarie]

Writing asks 👀👀👀👀

22, 26, 34 please and thank

including questions from @meibhin @gladdecease @eidetictelekinetic @frogsinflannel and @o0anapher0o thank you for the excuse to ramble ❤️ i'm still working on my other asks it's just that this past week has been really draining. turns out having someone you love in the hospital--even if they're relatively okay--uh, sucks

6: What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue. it's always the first thing that coalesces in my head.

8: Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

for my current fandom, tommy. his dry humor and history of being a snippy piece of shit really speaks to me.

9: Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

athena, i guess? she's "family" as karen said, but she's on the periphery. involving her in bucktommy shenanigans requires threading a needle.

17: A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

sleep sex/somnophilia. i find the concept viscerally upsetting.

19: Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

now, they are equal in quality. i've read and written a bunch of au fics. but i gravitate more towards canon compliant, especially when i first jump into a fandom.

22: Do you listen to anything while you write?

if i'm at home, no. when i'm on the train, i put something on to limit distractions. here's my latest playlist

25: Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

yesss i had some outtakes of bucktommy on the road in the temperature of becoming something. i'll go more into that in my director's commentary asks.

26: Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

nothing right now, but i stewed over like a detuned radio for several days. it's really self indulgent.

32: Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

tommy also breakup bakes.

34: Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

(Buck): It might be better if I join another house

(Hen): Is that what you want?

(Buck): Not really

(Buck): But I can't go back to whatever that was. No one would talk to me. I felt like I was on fire.

Hen bubbles him for quite a while. Buck finishes his apple and brushes sand from his pant legs. He drinks another cup of peach cider from the jug he got at a farm stand outside the Outer Banks. The sun is strong today, but there's enough of a breeze coming off the water that it doesn't feel overwhelming.

(Hen): I think because we knew your grief would be a lot, we didn't know how to handle it on top of our own. So we didn't even open the door. Then enough time went by that it seemed like you were past the worst of it, and bringing it all up again would just send you and all the rest of us back to the square one.

Buck stares at her words and listens to the waves crashing.

(please i need hen and buck to hash this out so bad. without any explanation it just looks like willful cruelty. also shoutout to the north carolina farm stand with the very addictive peach cider. ah, summer vacation memories)

35: Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

i fuckin love it here so much. not since the early days of elementary fandom have i felt so at home. yeah, there are dickheads in this corner just like there are everywhere else, but there are also so many lovely, hilarious, talented, kind people and idk it's 4:30 am and i've been going through some shit but yeah 🥹

[pinkkop]

This week's recap is brought to you by Pride Month!! 🌈 Wore my white sneakers with rainbow shoelaces in celebration today. I live a little bit in fear that someday someone will say they like them and I'll have to chose whether to make the tumblr reference or not.

QL Recap for Week 22

The 26th of May to the 1st of June

🇹🇭 My Stubborn

Episode 7 of 12 || Airing on: iQiYi, Sunday

Still absolutely love this show and as much as I found Vee absolutely frustrating this episode, I find her an interesting mirror to Sorn and her whole situation could also push the plot ahead. I am thiiiiiis close 🤏 to caving and reading the book but I want to watch as much of the show before I read the book so I get the least amount of spoilers.

🇹🇭 The Next Prince

Episode 5 of 14 || Airing on: iQiYi, Saturday

So now both Ramil and Khanin are abusing their powers to keep someone close. It's an interesting parallel and I'm curious to see how it develops. I really hope Ramil starts being better when he isn't terrified of his dad anymore because right now he's straight up abusing Paytai. It's not to say that there isn't love and care between them and that it doesn't make sense for what's happening in his world, but I need to see that their relationship can be better if they're end goal.

🇹🇭 Pit babe 2

Episode 5 of 13 || Airing on: iQiYi, Friday

I feel so bad for Babe. Can you even imagine how horrifying it must be to almost get assaulted again in the same way where he's made entirely powerless?! Absolutely terrifying! Both Chris and Willy are up to no good but what exactly the flavor of the no good is, I have no idea. Glad Kenta has Kim though because Pete is absolutely penis delirious and of no help or support right now.

🇹🇭 The Bangkok Boy

Episode 6 of 12 || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

I love that Peace got to bond with Mei. I don't think Sun really understands why Peace is being social with Mei but I find it fascinating. I'm still absolutely baffled by how small of a fish Sun's gang seems to be but Sun is tenacious so I can see how they can bumble their way to him getting his revenge. I expect there's a lot of pain up ahead but I'm enjoying the journey.

🇹🇭 ToGetHer

Episode 2 of 10 || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Friday

It's here! I've been keeping an eye on this for a while because I really liked His Man and this is made by the same people just with women instead. The first episodes were very promising. I love seeing different types of queer women and I can't wait to see more. If you're curious I made a short post about the show.

🇹🇭 Knock Out

Episode 3 of 12 || Airing on: WeTV, Friday

I like that the first thing this show told us was that Keen was resourceful and tenacious and then every episode since this has been shown over and over again to be true. Keen and Thun are cute, but, damn, some shits going to go down if they're already on the same page and getting down and dirty with it. I'm here for it though!

🇹🇭 The Ex-Morning

Episode 2 of 10 || Airing on: Youtube, Thursday

This was bit slower of an episode but still good and I love seeing the little flashbacks as they remember how good they were in the past. I loved how Phi asked Tam to quit. Phi so clearly doesn't like being reminded of how good the past was and how shitty his current life is but I fear that he wouldn't be able to ignore the state of his life even if Tam leaves.

🇹🇭 My Sweetheart Jom

Episode 3 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Friday

Oh Jom this was not it! I did not appreciate the lying and it definitely make me think less of Jom. Another thing: how old is the legal age because I keep side eying Yo's age. He seems so young and feels a little weird to me. I want to love this show more than I am but maybe both Jom and Yo will prove themselves next episode.

🇹🇭 Sweetheart Service

Episode 4 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Friday

Still cute and I'm liking it. Not sure what Tae Ha's deal is but I'm very curious about the second couple.

🇹🇭 The Sparkle In Your Eye

Episode 4 of ? || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

I didn't realize until these two episodes how much this show comments on the problems BL productions face which I find super interesting. I'll admit that when we first learn that Su Yi is terminally ill I wasn't super excited because I'm very much not ready for a BL main character from a Chinese show to die unless it is extremely necessary for the plot and so far I don't really know where this show is going so I'm worried but giving it the benefit of the doubt.

🇹🇭 Boys in Love

Episode 7 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Sunday

This show is still happening. There doesn't seem to be an overarching plot but I'm less mad about this show this week which might also have to do with how I also liked the teachers a little bit this episode. This show isn't bad but it also isn't great if you ask me.

🇹🇭 I Promise I Will Come Back

Episode 2 of 10 || Airing on: WeTV, Monday

I find it so weird that this show spent the first episode getting me to root for Nankrai but then he isn't the main romantic interest for TK? This show is cute even if it's very much a pulp and a travel ad. I'm actually visiting Prae next year so I'll probably keep watching this. Hopefully Nankrai gets a chance with TK because by episode 2 I'm still rooting for them.

🇹🇭 My Golden Blood

Episode 12 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Wednesday

My biggest gripe with this show is that as much as it's a vampire show there's never any talk of how being turned works and especially since Tong did get turned, it felt really weird that him being turned and how that would work and why Mark doesn't want to turn him, was just never talked about. At the end of the day this show fell completely flat for me.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[loquaciousquark]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

This week has been hell and now that I'm finally coming to the end of it, I'm going to sit down & enjoy this! Sorry in advance for the length.

My favorite fics vacillate wildly depending on my mood, interest, and the time of year, but right now, I think this is what I've got. In no particular order:

Invicta, Invictus (2016)

Magister AU. Hawke ends up owning Fenris while in Minrathous & they fall in love anyway. This fic was difficult to write for a lot of reasons (a main one just being my fear of not doing justice to the premise and underselling the slavery aspect), and it took nearly a year to finish between the writing itself, the rewriting and additional scenes required from @jadesabre301's beta, and final edits. By the time I started posting I felt confident that I'd written something solid, but despite the otherwise positive response, I did end up receiving a series of extremely angry, lengthy critical comments from someone who basically accused me of perpetuating the glorification of rape, the enslavement of people of color, and the entrenchment of cruelty against victims of sexual assault. (I vividly remember a comparison between Thomas Jefferson & Sally Hemings.)

This came out of the blue from someone I knew & had otherwise quite respected; it was a blow that shook my confidence to the core, despite several wonderful people reaching out to me at the time, and while I finished posting the fic, I completely stopped writing otherwise. I ended up not writing anything of significance for three full years afterwards. It wasn't until I got extremely drunk on a work trip (after a personal dinner, no colleagues around) and went back to my hotel to jot down the first lines of the Hawke-is-rescued-from-the-Fade fic that I even entertained the idea of picking the hobby back up.

Now, looking back after almost ten years, I've long come to terms with her criticism. I've decided that I disagree with her, that I'm actually still okay with what I wrote, and that I'm proud of the work I did in that fic. I think the premise is good and the examination of the social and political structures is sound, and I think the fic does what it needs to where the relationship strains against the societal boundaries around it. Not to mention I think it has some of my best Fenris characterization I ever managed, and some of my better Hawke jokes. I think the letter exchange at the end is effectively poignant even after all this time (though I do wish I'd written Danarius's actual death a little differently), and I still find the ending as they approach Kirkwall very satisfying. I'll also never turn down a chance to let Varania have a moment or two.

I'm proud of this one, and I'm glad I wrote it.

A Midwinter's Carol; in Prose; Being a Ghost Story of Baldur's Gate (2023)

I think this fic has some of my best technical mimicry I've ever managed. I've always enjoyed a good stylistic parroting, but this was the first time I'd attempted Dickens, and I genuinely think I did a good job. 😂 I've always been fascinated by the mechanics of language, and I had a great time spoofing his oddly frank addresses to the reader and his serpentine asides.

It's quite short—less than 10k—but I think it does exactly what it's supposed to, and I'm genuinely proud of some of the AU elements. @eponymous-rose gave me Christmases Past and Present, so I can't lay claim to those (aside from execution), but the way Future's demand resolves & the Thayan book standing in for the door knocker were all mine, and I still think they're genius, ahaha. (I also fully acknowledge that I owe Jade big time for helping me clarify the final deal Astarion strikes.)

I think the wordplay throughout of what it means to be redeemed is well written, and I'm genuinely pleased with the turn of the mood during the Future sequence. I can tell my love of flippant characters having stark face-to-face encounters with gods is probably a little strong at the end, but Megan Whalen Turner was a formative influence, and I still love it the way it came out here. This is a fic that did exactly what I wanted it to from start to finish, and I love rereading it.

I also think Astarion refusing to participate in the narrative and Tav's modern voice against the Dickensian backdrop are utterly hilarious.

Iron Bound (2023)

This is the most ambitious project I've ever tackled, even considering Invicta above. I knew this would be a long fic, and while I'd daydreamed about scenes from it for nearly a decade, I genuinely didn't know if I had the technical ability to execute it the way I wanted. Once I finally, finally, finally sat down to write it, the words came out like butter, and I wrote almost 70k words in two weeks.

This fic was interesting because it included a love triangle, which is not something I have ever had the slightest interest in reading or writing, but I felt the relationships were strong enough between all three pillars that I wanted to give it a shot. I love Hawke & Fenris, obviously, but the Fenris + Sebastian brotherhood is likewise vitally important to me, and I've always treasured the Sebastian + Hawke friendship as well. Getting to examine all three of them closely here was wonderful from start to finish, and I loved looking at where the lines strained and grew lax as they got to know each other.

Likewise, I've also adored characters who have to face the conflict between love and duty, and this premise let me marinate in every part of the idea. Knowing that I'd be able to give them all happy endings—knowing that they'd be rewarded for doing the right thing—was very pat and yet very satisfying, and I enjoyed every minute of the tension before the resolution.

This fic was in many ways an homage to Patricia McKillip, one of my favorite authors, and also a frank wish-fulfillment exercise for me. This is the one where everyone lives. This is the one where no one suffers for too long. Malcolm, Carver, Bethany, Leandra—even Varania and Sebastian and Anders and the dog. Everyone lives. Everyone is happy and loved and fed and secure and will remain so for the rest of their lives, and I remain thoroughly unapologetic for it.

I do think (despite Jade's attempts to correct it) that there's some marked narrative clumsiness in the back third, and with a little distance I can see ways I could have revised the Danarius confrontation and the series of epilogues to hang together more cleanly. There are also some heavy-handed sequences regarding the broader world politics which I think stand out against what is otherwise fairly mature writing, and I wish I'd threaded those through a bit more deftly.

That said, I'm still immensely proud of this project, and once I finish this post I'm probably going to reread it start to finish. 😂

This Lethal Light Falls Softly (2023)

I was very passionate about the central conceit of this fic, and I think it shows. It's cleanly written with no wasted time—even rereading it now for this post, there's only one exchange I'd still tweak—and I'm very happy with the way I wrote the Tav & Astarion relationship at this stage. They're a wholly different beast to Fenris & Hawke, who are friends for seven years before they finally embark on a real relationship; Tav & Astarion know each other maybe a few weeks before they sleep together for the first time, and even with the most generous possible interpretation I don't think the game can take more than a handful of months. This meant I was writing lovers with new-to-me insecurities, and with Astarion's own basketful of bugaboos on top of that, everything felt fresh and exciting and a little terrifying. I think you can feel that energy in the prose, and I really like it.

Aside from that, I'm very happy with the solution I came up with to Astarion's vampirism. It was hardly inventive, but I did feel it was both practical and lore-friendly, and I felt like its cost (Tav's absence for Astarion, the exhaustion and battle and injuries for Tav) balanced out the number of boons it provided. It also made negating the vampiric effects an active, ongoing choice for Astarion, which I deeply prefer over more permanent solutions like True Resurrection or a god restoring him to mortality.

I also just honestly think it's just fun to read. I like Astarion being snippy and short-tempered while still being overjoyed to see Tav alive. I like Tav confronting the idea that Astarion loves her as much as she loves him and that her silent absence was an active harm to him. I think I did a pretty good job setting the scenery and conveying the appropriate atmosphere where it was important, and I think there are some turns of phrase throughout that came out quite lovely.

I also think ending on the button of him seeing himself in the mirror is hilarious. (Not pictured: Tav having to ask him to put down the hand mirror for literal weeks.)

ah! this grief like cold bells ringing (2020)

This is probably the most difficult fic I've written in terms of headspace. COVID's forced isolation was particularly awful for me, and I didn't know how to handle it except to try to write it out of me. This, like Iron Bound, contained something I never thought I'd write (rape/rape aftermath), but the gravity of the situation and the world at the time seemed to demand something likewise grave, and I ended up feeling like it was an appropriate choice. Hawke has been a tool of many kinds for me over the years, and I remain both glad and weirdly grateful for her resilience.

This was also the first fic where I felt like I didn't shy away from or veil Tevinter's atrocities (a necessary artifact of the premise). While it was hard to write, it wasn't hard to write, and looking back I'm glad I made the choices I did; I think to hamstring the severity of the moment would have broken the story's teeth and dampened the recovery which came after. The instinct to quit flinching away was the right one, and I think the fic is better for it.

I also think this is some of the most effective writing of catharsis I've ever managed. When I'm having a really difficult time and need to read a moment of recovery, the second chapter of this fic is always my first stop. I've actually only reread the first chapter a few times since I posted (usually the pain's not the part I need), but I've reread the second chapter a hundred times or more.

I also do think that the style of the prose—a little flatter and more direct than I usually write—came out well, especially given the subject matter. While I'd prefer never to go back to that emotional place, I'm glad this came out of it.

Honorable Mention:

Lacrimosa (2011). Still one of the oneshots I'm proudest of. I think it's technically proficient and emotionally very effective, and I love the structure of it.

A Detailed Accounting of the Rigorous and Remarkable Struggles Faced by One Fereldan Refugee in the Singularly Capricious City of Kirkwall, as Experienced by the Illustrious Author (2022). While the writing is not the best I've ever managed (it began life as a warm-up exercise, after all), it took ten years to finish, and I'm deeply proud of both finishing it and of the execution of several sections.

Find Me a Wayward Sun (2023). I like the emotional complexity of this fic very much. This was the first place where I felt like I really started to understand the dynamic between Tav & Astarion, especially in the complicated back half of Act Two, and I've gone back to it several times when I need to recapture that feeling of confused selfishness and nascent, uncertain affection.

[beelearnsfinnish]

weekly recap: week 06 [03.02.25 - 09.02.25]

studying

Finnish

Being honest I have spent so little time with Finnish this past week(s) but in my defense, it's exam season and all my study time has gone towards my degree. But I finish exams on Tuesday and will get back on track for at least 2 weeks before my Finland trip! Pretty excited about that, and to see if I notice any change in my level once I'm there.

I've kept up with my daily watch of the news, tho I've dropped the daily Drops. It was starting to become quite repetitive again, so I've decided to set it aside for a while, and once I have time try to update my flashcards and use them as the daily vocab review.

I've been watching couple of youtube videos, maily from the Finnish Language Nuggets, really enjoying those. I've also tried a couple of shows in Yle, but most of them arent available outside Finland and I have yet to find one that I can somewhat understand and it's watchable

My degree

Exam season! I had my first exam on Thursday and tho I was pretty worried cause it was bit difficult subject, about laws and stuff I can't just come up with answers based on my previous knowledge of the area, it went really well! Got a 9,25 so pretty happy about it.

I have my next two on Tuesday and then I'll be free. I'm more confident in one than in the other, but the subjects are easier and I'm praying for full test exams so will see. Can't wait to be done, these exams are taking years of my life away i stg.

Others

Haven't had time to do anything related to the Hygieniapassi test, but as soon as I finish my exams I'll completely focus on it, I'll have two weeks ish before the exam. Being honest I'm more worried about the exam itself (getting to the right place, understanding signs and instructions etc) than the contents, but still know I have to focus on some of the more specific subjects.

life updates

Nothing mayor to update on. Had some shitty past weeks but we're coming back out of it. I have my holiday soon so can't wait for that (can't wait to see my bf but also just be in Finland, where I'm always very happy and in peace, and no work no studying just relax)

Did a fun plan today tho! Had my monthly bookclub meeting. February's pick was Heartless by Marissa Meyer and I think it's the book I've enjoyed the most up to date. Had a really lovely morning in a cute cafe with the girls. Not very sure about next month's pick tho, as we go back to the romance romance 🥲

media update

📖 Heartless - Marissa Meyer - 4.5 ⭐️

🎬 La chica de nieve 2 - Spanish Tv show

🎧 Ankles - Lucy Dacus

[bangchansgirlsblog]

i’ve been craving this for ages and finally decided to request upon it!!

stray kids x little sister reader (she’s about 17/18) she has been having a secret relationship with one of her school teachers called Mr. Kang (name inspo from song kang) and she has a “sleepover” arranged with her friend for a week.. on day 3 the boys went for a group walk and saw y/ns friend with her family but without y/n. The boys go over and find out that you were never staying with her.. They check your location after panicking only to realise it’s your teacher Mr. Kang’s house. They log into your computer and find all the messages between Kang and you. They are infuriated, when you return back.. let’s just say it’s hell reincarnated.

Thank you daddy- I mean Mr.Kang.

Part one.

**

"We can't keep doing this.." she whispered through her heavy breathes. Her skirt was slowly riding up her thigh as her pink laced panties were slowly being exposed.

Her face was red due to the heat from the make out session she was just in. Her shirt now unbuttoned halfway exposing her bra.

"What do you mean baby," he whispered in her ear as his hands slowly wondered around her body. "Jump for me princess,"

She wasn't thinking at all. The thought of being pleasured by him was all she could think about. Her legs wrapped around his torso as he slowly put her on top of the desk, knocking down books and papers to the floor.

"My brothers are gonna find out about us soon Mr.Kang. They'll kill me-"

"Shhh, we'll worry about that later bunny," he hushed her while slowly unzipping her skirt.

"Mr.Kang just- uhm," a moan escaped her mouth as his lips made contact with her sensitive skin. She was a mess. Her hair was everywhere and the hickeys that she received from a few hours ago were on display.

She felt good. She loved him. She loved being with him. She loved every moment with him but it was so wrong. Their relationship was so wrong. It had been 3 months. They had been going for 3 months and she still wasn't caught. It was baffling.

Their relationship only began during summer. She had no idea that he would end up being her teacher. They had met at one of the concerts the boys were doing. He had come with his friends and he really didn't want to go but his friends had convinced him too and when he set his eyes on her, he couldn't look away. She was beautiful and he knew he wanted her.

"Do you feel-" his deep voice was interrupted by a loud knocking. Y/n's eyes widen as she jumped off the desk and started to fix herself.

"Who is it?" He called as he too tried to fix himself.

"Mr.Kang? It's Chan. Y/n's brother," a familiar voice replied. He looked over at her small body and saw she had managed to get herself together quite quickly and started to collect her books.

"Come in!"

The door opened and a happy looking Chan walked in. His face was glowing and his hair was covered with a beanie meaning he had just come from the studio.

He quickly said a quick hello before helping Y/n grab her bag. "I hope you guys had a good study session. Thank you so much for watching her Sir," he thanks the older man.

"Oh, you don't need to thank me. She was an Angel and I hope, with all the studying we've done, she'll pass the next quiz," he had a smirk on his face. A smirk Y/n hated. He knew what he was doing.

"Well, I'll make sure to make her study more. Other than that. Have a good weekend," Chan gave him one last smile before waving goodbye and leaving the room with Y/n right behind her.

**

"Why do you look so red?" Chan asked when they got into the car. He had been watching and analyzing her for the past 5 minutes. "Do you not feel well?" He asked.

"No Channie, it was just really hot in there and I've been studying for hours," she sighed and played with her skirt.

"Oh, makes sense. Do you wanna eat something? We can stop for some hotpot-"

"No actually, I'm really tired Oppa. Maybe later in the evening?"

"Yeah that sounds fine, we can go with the boys," he replied and got his phone out of his pocket to text the family group chat.

They had a family group chat because once when they were traveling for one of their tours, I.N and Han thought it would be a good idea to disappear from the group which led them to missing their flight and Chan was so mad he made sure to make a group chat for whenever they had to split up.

Y/n looked out the window. The past few hours running through her mind. The thoughts making her feel wet under there as she thought about the way Mr.Kang would touch her, make her feel good, make her feel like-

One message:

Come over to mines tomorrow. Sleepover😘

The butterflies in her stomach started to dance once again. Her tummy doing somersaults making her feel all giddy and excited.

"Oppa? Can I go to Franchesca's tomorrow for a sleepover?" She looked over at her brother.

"Again? You've been going over there so much! We barley get time with you," he pouted earning a chuckle from Y/n.

"It's just for one night, I'll be back in the morning and we can hangout. All of us,"

He didn't look convinced but yet again, who was he to say no? This was his little sister. Their only girl in the family.

"Fine but make sure to tell Leeknow. You know how he gets," he shrugged and turned back his phone.

"Okay okay! Thank you, thank you," she giggled and jumped on him while kissing him all over his face.

"Okay okay, enough," he playfully rolled his eyes and raffled her hair.

**

Her night consisted of watching the boys do practice and have a big fat nap on the couch as they figured out the music part of it all. This was a routine most of the times after school. One of the boys would pick her up and then she would come over to the JYP building and watch the boys practice or record they even made her her own little corner in the 3 racha studio where she could do her homework and decorate it is much as she wanted to.

They really did love their little sister.

"Okay shall we go?" Han asked her since he was the last one closing up the studio. All the other boys were already down stairs waiting for them.

She grabbed her sweater and nodded, "yeah let's go jisung, I'm hungry," she groaned and carried her bag on one shoulder.

He chuckled and locked the doors and quickly made their way downstairs.

When they arrived at the restaurant and started to eat. Chan brought up the sleepover which leeknow was not so happy about.

"I don't, I just don't like them. I don't like their lifestyle and you've been over there too much jagi," he explained as he picked up the chopsticks.

"Please leeknow, she literally comes over all the time,"

"Yeah I know but I don't have a good feeling about this weekend, my older brother instincts are tingling," he looked over at the other boys trying to get some support.

"She'll be gone for one night Hyung, just let her go," Changbin backs her up. He thought about it for a bit before finally agreeing but only on one condition.

"You have to call me when you get there and I have to speak to her parents,"

Busted.

She giggled nervously before nodding, "Ofcourse min, I will. I promise," she played with her ring. A thing she only does when she's nervous and from the corner of Hyunjin's eyes, he noticed instantly and he knew for a fact something fishy was going on.

"So this sleepover...is it just the two of you?" Hyunjin asked while taking a sip from his cocktail.

"Yeah it will be, we're thinking of watching a movie-"

"What movie?" He cut her off quickly. "And what time will you leave tomorrow?"

"Hyung, chill. What's going on?" Han laughed and shoved him a little.

"Nothing...just curious," he shrugged and lifted one eyebrow. The restaurant was a bit empty and the service was good so when the waitress interrupted their conversation by giving them their bill she was so thankful because the conversation was no forgotten about.

**

"I just know it Changbin, I know she's lying about something," Hyunjin was pacing back and forth in the living room. Half the house was asleep and most of the boys were in their rooms.

Hyunjin and Changbin had decided to stay up and watch a movie. Leaving them alone in the living room.

"Why do you think she would lie about a sleepover Jinnie? I mean surely she wouldn't lie to us about that,"

"But Changbin, you know how suspicious she's been acting. Always over at Franchesca's. Staying for after school activities. Always coming home late. Changbin it's obvious she's doing something behind our backs,"

"Have you talked of Chan about it?" He asked while slowly taking a sip out of his mug.

"No, I just thought about it while we were at dinner. I need solid proof because if I tell Chan, he'll go absolutely crazy,"

"You're right, maybe we can check her phone while she's sleeping or something," Changbin suggested.

"Do you know her password?"

"No but she keeps it in her journal and I know where that is-"

"Her journal! Changbin that's it! We need to read her journal. Maybe she put down what she's doing in there," he whisper-shouted.

"Are you crazy?!" He whispered back, "that's like intruding her privacy Hyunjin! What if we don't find anything at all then it'll be a waste and she'll be mad,"

"I know I'm not wrong Binnie! I can feel it,"

"I hope you're right because if she finds out, we'll be the worst brothers of the century," he sighed and massaged his temples.

**

"Make sure to call if you need anything, okay?" Leeknow gave her assurance as he kissed her goodbye.

"And don't eat anything your not used too or don't know about!" Chan added and gave her a hug.

"I won't Oppa," she giggled and waved goodbye as she made her way to the car where the driver awaited her.

Once they saw the car drive away everyone disappeared doing their own thing while Hyunjin and Chan where on a mission. A big mission.

They went straight to her room and started looking for a journal.

"This feels so wrong," Changbin said as he opened and closed drawers.

"I know Hyung but we have too," he replied quickly and looked through her closet. It was long until they found out and it actually made Hyunjin laugh at the fact that their little sister sucked when it came to hiding her stuff from them.

"I found it!" He yelped and pulled out the book. It was old and quite beaten up but that didn't matter at all. Hyunjin made sure to remind himself to buy her a new one later.

"Okay! What does it say? What does it say?!" Changbin shrieked excitedly.

They sat on her bed and started to go through the book. Page by page by page. It was hours and hours reading boring things about highschool and boys and drama.

Hyunjin was about to run mad but Changbin was eating all the drama up. He was actually impressed at how interesting their little sisters life was.

"We're never going to find anything!" Hyunjin groaned when he looked at the time.

"I mean we can skip the parts? When did she start acting suspicious?"

"I'll say like 2-3 months ago, I don't know! What do you think?"

"I think it started during summer," Changbin commented.

"Then let's go look from there," Hyunjin started to skip the pages until finally.

September 27th 2023.

**

“….and we’re going to be making cookies. I just really hope everything goes well and my brothers don’t find out about this. Wish me luck!” Hyunjin slammed the book shut after finishing the last sentence.

He looked up at the boys who were listening to everything. His blood was boiling as he looked over at Changbin who was equally as angry.

They were shocked and traumatized.

What the hell was Y/n thinking?

[oacest]

Hi! I'm a big fan of your blog! I just this past week got into the gallaghers after stumbling across them on ao3. Every time I think i've found everything, a new surprising factoid comes out of the woodwork. They are so in love its inane and frankly quite worrying. I cannot believe more people dont see it with how obvious they're being.

That being said, I've noticed a thing about one of Liam's tweets and a song lyric he wrote. I cant find the tweet at the moment, but it's the one where someone asks if he loves Noel and Liam responds "yes I love him is that such a crime". I was listening to GGTIA and realized the lyrics "I'd get round to loving you, is that such a crime?" sounded awful familiar...He must have taken that response right from the song lol. Which makes me feel some sort of way. Especially with how awful (glorious) GGTIA is. The whole song is clearly a love song and yet Liam wrote it for Noel. And now Liam references his own song to say yes, he does love Noel.

God, I love them.

omg ahhhh congrats, welcome!! the first "wait.. hold on. wait wtf?? this can't be true.. oh jesus it's getting worse🤯" stage of getting into Them is a powerful powerful drug and tbh it never loses strength. we've been on this grind full-time for a year now (really no time at all in the grand scheme) and every day we're still going "holy shit WAIT WHAT??" about some new insane thing. (also how did you inadvertently stumble upon them on ao3?? what a trip.)

re liam's uhhh Everything. i regret(?) to inform you that ggtia is barely scratching the surface lol. the "crime" stuff in particular goes way deeper than that, ggtia is just one of many references back to a central core of sus shit. noel is a much worse offender in this arena actually. beyond his multiple ""jokes"" in the press about being attracted to/having sex with liam and the legality thereof, his most egregious act was writing this song, a demo nominally called "it's a crime" by fans bc he never actually released or named it, someone just leaked it in 2000. he later rewrote it and it became "let there be love," a trajectory we can all speculate on till the cows come home. he has since denied remembering this song even exists. (if you haven't clocked this yet, he's a pathological recreational liar and also has crazy bad memory issues, so even odds on whether this is true or not.)

also idk if you've dipped into any of liam's solo music or not, but ggtia was Baby's First Steps in terms of writing lovesick songs about one's brother. i can't necessarily recommend liam's music on any basis other than it being kinda catchy and p much all of it being incest anthems, so ymmv on enjoyment factor, but here's a brief playlist of SOME OF his more astonishing entries in the "im madly in love with my brother who hates me" oeuvre. (and then go watch the music video for "one of us," which might be the most excruciatingly raw thing anyone's ever done for an audience of millions, and is crammed beyond capacity with References.) there are a few of noel's songs on this playlist too, the ones i personally think are about liam, but diagnosing noel's music is a completely different exercise than diagnosing liam's. noel's very circumspect and art-first about his music, whereas it's pretty safe to assume most of liam's songs are explicitly about noel. the only one on this playlist with some potential wiggle room is "for what it's worth," which liam once claimed wasn't about noel, however his alternative very vague explanation was that it was possibly about his ex wife. which under the circumstances didn't really make sense. imo he just got a little embarrassed and backpedalled under scrutiny. here is noel acknowledging his awareness that all liam's songs are about him lol.

anyway! liam's a magical boy who believed in himself and never gave up and relentlessly wooed his big brother with mid music for years until that shit finally worked, so let this be a lesson to us all. NEVER have dignity, NEVER say die, ALWAYS kiss your brother on the mouth in public. the universe loves you 💖💖💖

[lightfeltmemories]

Hi! How are you?

I came with a yyh request!

Could you please write about something that reader does that has kurama malfunctioning? Like something so cute he just exe.stopping working?

Thank you!

notes: this is the third kurama related request i've gotten so far, very interesting! this will be pretty short, a drabble basically, reader is gender neutral.

tw: none, just the tiniest bit of angst however.

today was the day kurama gets to see his s/o for the first time in months, he had been gone for quite a while, some pretty important business, and he deeply misses them, making his first step to see them.

he was showing up unannounced, wanting to at least apologize to them for not letting them know what happened to him, standing at the door with a single rose in his hand, bringing up the courage to knock on the door.

knock knock.

but there was no answer.

no immediate answer.

"who's there?" a familiar voice calls out from behind the door.

"it's me, kurama."

once the name was heard the door swiftly opens and arms tightly hug around him, he feels them shaking, sniffling, and the feeling of his top shoulder being wet.

they were crying... i was expecting that.

they pull away, looking into his eyes with their bloodshot, tear sicken ones, before they curl into a glare.

"where have you been..?" they say calmly, eerily calm.

kurama was expecting this reaction, and admittedly he deserved it, he had been gone for so long without so much as a warning.

"it's... a bit complicated to explain, but, i will anyways for your sake."

--

"so, that's what happened, huh?"

a spirit world, demons... so much had happened in the past month, still confuses them to some degree, especially since they had been out of the country for the past couple of weeks to go see family.

the two of them had talked about the trip they had, their own individual experiences, and some other miscellaneous things.

the rose kurama had gave them had sat in a vase with all the other roses he had given them throughout the past few months, there was a lot to count, and they never withered, despite them taking care of it daily as a reminder to him.

"oh, i forgot to show you something!" his partner gets out of the bed the two were sitting on and runs into their closet to take out a small brown box which had a lock on it. "wait a minute, hold on i just need to find the key.." placing the box on the bed they scatter around the room, making a mess of everything, throwing clothes, shoes, whatever you may think of.

kurama decides to get up from the bed and look into the drawer next to it, opening it to see.. a key.

"here it is.." he pulls out the key to show it to them, they stare at the key to see if it's the right one.

"yeah, that's it!" walking over to kurama to give him a kiss on the cheek, unaware that he basically froze.

he had missed their kisses so much, the touch of their hands, the look in their eyes... their presence all by itself.. and now he's here.

"uh.. kurama? you there?" they waved their hand in his face to get his attention but.. it seems as if he had.. stopped working.

kurama blinks, looks as if he came back to earth.

"oh.. sorry.. i.." he nervously stutters out, a rosy pink blush scattering his face, he couldn't even look at them without feeling like he'll black out.. he just can't believe that they're his.

his and only his.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Aha! I am sure this sudden intrusion must seem quite disconcerting. Please, worry not— I can assure you that you are not hallucinating, nor are our voices mere figments of the imagination! Of course, I cannot speak for the others, but as for myself... I suppose one could say that I come from a bloodline of "telepaths," for lack of a better term. For the past few months, we have been in the company of my dear Curly, but occasionally we have been... ushered over elsewhere. Normally for... important reasons. I've no doubt that this is a similar case, I have been— I have been praying for this chance.

Please, do ask Anya if you do not believe me. Use my name, if you must! Kind Words, she will recognize it. We have spoken before.

And, if you would be so kind, I must ask of you— why do Curly's nurses not let any of you see him? I know that Anya is greatly concerned. He has been utterly in the dark since you all were removed from the Tulpar. The nurses, they... they are cruel to him. They say cruel things, they ignore him, they treat him as though he were nothing more than a— a "living corpse!" He cannot take pills anymore and yet they continue to shove them down his throat. And then they become angry when he resists! It is sickening. As though he has not been through enough!

... Forgive me, it is easy to become quite worked up over. I am sure you understand, as a parent. Whatever it is you are able to relay to us about yourselves, about the medical staff, or the ship you're aboard now, Mr. Swansea... I would be most grateful to you. Please, just so that my son is not in the dark anymore, at the very least.

So I heard. Telepaths? Unbelievable... She recognized your name, all right. Why does she think you're his mother?

Somethin' about quarantine. Hah. That ship has long sailed. If you ask me, it's so the passengers don't find him.

That so? ...Huh. I know the captain ain't easy on the eyes, but is all that bullshit really necessary?

Yeah, I understand, all right. What I don't get is where Curly got a third parent from.

Right, right, he's been outta the loop. Well. We're all alive. I might have some brain damage but I really couldn't tell ya whether it's from the infection or the goddamn mouthwash. But I thought I'd be rollin' with the devil by now. What's potential brain damage? Ribs are healin'. Still got a bullet in my shoulder. Might leave it there when we land, might not. Depends on how cheap the surgery is. Hah!

Daisuke's close to healed up. Lucky bastard avoided infection and made me take it all. ...Can't say that 'round him, though. He thought I meant it. Tch. Kid moves a little slow sometimes. Little bit jumpier. But he's still makin' jokes and chewin' my ear off. Good signs there.

Anya got her wrist brace off a bit ago, so she's doing fine. Still a fuckin' mess half the time, but considerin' she had to kill a man to save our sad asses, ain't holdin' that against her. Hah. Never thought she had it in her.

The medical staff are a bunch of clowns. ...All right, they're not. But some of 'em... There's two doctors and seven nurses, or thereabouts. Never bothered to learn most of their names. The doctors don't like our nurse because she won't shut up about gettin' into Curly's room. The nurses don't like me because I'm an ass. Half of 'em can't stand Daisuke and the other half get on just swell. Kid keeps makin' friends with the passengers too, and most of those high rollin' motherfuckers don't know a lick of English.

Ship's some luxury cruiser straight outta Minos. Dame Montagne, they call her. We should be landing in... what, three, four weeks? I lost the specific number. Maybe it's the brain damage! Hah!

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

IT'S NEVER OVER - PROLOGUE (sept. 2005)

summary: if anyone asked sid, he wouldn't say that he liked pittsburgh more after meeting nat. no, that would be absurd.

warnings: short and sweet! (none)

a/n: hi, hello! am i posting this without having finished it? yes. i don't know how long it's going to be but i'm slowly chipping away at it and i'm pretty excited about it. it might even be my favourite series thing i've done so far, and weirdly my first one? i've had the entire thing outlined for months but i've been too busy to even think about posting it, so...here you go! i can't promise posts for this will be regular because the chapters are so long, but i'll try my best to keep you posted! hope you enjoy (a series mastrlist will be out soon too so you can get the gist of where i'm at in the entire process) xo

sneak peak | pinterest board

(It started with music, but Nat didn’t know that.) 

It was a total accident, a random encounter that Sidney couldn’t possibly have predicted – one that, without exaggerating, changed his life to an extent. On a whim, he’d decided to go into that coffee shop he’d walked past everyday for the past three weeks, and it was also on a whim he actually made it to the counter to order an uncharacteristic coffee – he was newly eighteen, being pulled in all sorts of sports-diet directions, the confinement of which kind of irked him, so to him, buying that coffee was a subtle rebellion.

It was also a complete accident that he’d wandered off to the right after taking his coffee from the counter, instead of left, or forwards, or even backwards.

Sidney wasn’t one to believe in fate or destiny: he believed those terms were too magical – they alluded to some other worldly forces coming into play, and he liked to stick to facts. Coincidences. Accidents. Nevertheless, he did find it almost inexplicable, the way that his life hurtled into a completely different route after a mere forty minutes inside a coffee shop that he’d just spontaneously decided to make a trip of. He couldn’t quite get his head around it all.

To him, it was a coincidence that he’d walked past her table. A coincidence that she happened to be blaring the only song he’d been able to listen to for the last four days. He’d barely made it three steps past her before he froze. 

She was wearing those over-the-ear headphones, the ones with orange sponges from the 80s, plugged into the iPod that had come out a few years back. He recognised it because everyone that had one in his high school before he left never shut up about it. Sidney admittedly did own one at the time, but he never really felt the need to show it off  – it was much easier than lugging around a cassette or CD player with songs burnt in.

The song still had him halting in his tracks and turning around, his body much further ahead than his brain because he had to steady his mug of coffee; his sharp actions had the liquid almost sloshing over the edge, but he managed to catch it just in time.

He wouldn’t have done either of those things: stop and turn, if it had been any other song he’d heard. He was just so taken aback by it – the exact, precise song. 

The girl at the table didn’t pay him a single dime of attention when he froze, despite the fact that his hip was practically nudging her table. She wasn’t even looking in his direction, her eyes gazing out of the window on her right, skipping over empty faces as people walked past. It was clear she was supposed to be doing work of some sorts: there were textbooks, novels, and flashcards scattered across the entire table, a pencil case half emptied with pens strewn all over. She had a pen clutched in the fist she was resting her chin on, not caring for the study cards at all – entirely enamoured by the view. 

Sidney followed her eyes. There wasn’t much to look at, just a street, and her chair was directly facing the side of a retail store, clothes and mannequins displayed in the window. 

In hindsight, Sidney didn’t really know what compelled him to do what he did next.

He couldn’t tell if she was bored and just looking out, not paying attention to the music flowing into her ears, or if she was just so absorbed in what she was hearing that she couldn’t physically bring herself to think about her work – that she’d tuned out the outside world entirely.

What caught his attention the most was the crease between her brows. It drew him to look straight at her; an alluring combination of chestnut hair and pale eyes – though not too pale that they made him uneasy. She was also probably the only person in the establishment that was around his age.

She had impeccable music taste, if he did say so himself.

Yet, he couldn’t shake the inkling that this girl was wholly feeling the brilliance and soul-crushing heartache of Jeff Buckley’s genius – and he found himself hoping she was.

That was why he cleared his throat and took a small step to the other side of the table. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, noting that the cafe was pretty busy, so he knew he could at least try to get away with what he was about to do.

He made sure to tilt his head up, because the hat covering his face would be nothing short of slightly suspicious in a public setting, and it wasn’t until he purposefully knocked into the chair that she flicked her eyes to look at him.

He held his breath, a moment when all they did was look at each other, until the crease in her brows disappeared and she reached to pause her music on her iPod, slowly sliding her earphones off so they rested around her neck. 

“Hi.” 

His assumptions had been correct. She was around his age – her voice was deeper than he’d originally anticipated – and when he found himself slightly closer than before, he was able to make out that she was studying for her SATs. 

It was September.

“Hi.” He replied, forcing a smile that he hoped would convey the apology he felt for intruding on her personal time and in her personal space. Her clutter was all over the table, and he knew that if she was hopefully as kind to strangers as he hoped she’d to be, that it would be somewhat of a hassle to shove some of it away, “I’m really sorry, but there aren’t any other tables free. Would I be able to–”

“Oh, sure.” She interrupted, immediately going to reach to sweep a space clear for him over the other side of the table. Sidney watched with a mildly amused gaze; she didn’t seem to care for the way her flashcards seemed to mix themselves up, or the way her textbooks snapped shut and she lost her page.

She flashed him a welcoming, slightly embarrassed smile as she piled the books on top of each other, and before Sidney knew it, he was sitting in the chair opposite, accidentally knocking their knees together in the process, and sipping from his coffee mug. He fought to maintain the thankful smile on his face, despite the utterly bitter taste of the coffee that seemed to fester on his tongue.

No wonder he’d never tried coffee before, it tasted like dirt.

The girl broke a small chunk of a muffin off, a smile breaking out on her face as she fought a small laugh.

Sidney blushed, “I’m not a big coffee-fan.” He reasoned, shrugging.

“I can tell.” She pressed her lips together momentarily, looking down at the plate before turning her attention back to him. Sidney felt stunned at the colour of her eyes. He’d never seen grey eyes before, but hers seemed to balance more on the green side – only when the sun struck the side of her face, they turned a watery, clear blue. There was also a tinge of brown thrown in there.

What was that called? Heterochromia?

He felt his mouth dry, and before he could stop himself, he was taking another sip of his coffee, this time managing to control the urge to wince, “Thanks for letting me sit here.”

She shrugged, gathering the flashcards and lining them up, “It’s no problem. Sorry for the mess.”

He let his eyes wander over the books once more, the green ‘SATs’ letters jumping out at him, “You got an important date?”

The girl swallowed, not entirely understanding what he meant. That crease formed between her brows again, and she opened her mouth to question him, but Sidney beat her to it, a finger pointing at her stack of books. 

She sighed, “Not entirely, they’re at the end of the school year, but one of my teachers gave us an assignment to get some study material done early.” 

Sidney couldn’t say he understood her stress – it was something displayed across the planes of her face; evident when she looked rather tiredly at the stack of books, and hesitated at the flashcards, before throwing them to the side. She folded her arms across the table, then switched so that her hands were interlocked in front of her.

She looked as though she didn’t quite know what to do with herself, and Sidney couldn’t tell if it was because of the presence of a stranger, or if she was already feeling some sort of academic guilt for throwing her attention away from her studies for a couple of minutes.

He saw her jaw clench, and at that observation, the thought that maybe he was paying a little bit too much attention to her crossed his mind, so he turned his focus to the cup of coffee. He was beginning to feel its effects; his knee was shaking softly under the table and he could feel an influx of energy spark at his fingertips. Or maybe it wasn’t the coffee at all.

He hadn’t thought about hockey for five minutes.

He saw her turn her face towards him out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up, “What about you? Are you in school, or…?” She trailed off, her eyes skimming over the logo that had flashed itself from the safe and unzipped confines of his hoodie. 

He felt his heart quicken at having been caught, worried that perhaps she’d shout out who he was – if she knew – across the entire cafe. He remained optimistic; she didn’t seem the type.

He cleared his throat, “Not anymore.” For some reason he hesitated. He could play off the logo as merchandise – he could be someone other than Sidney Crosby, the New Rookie of the Pens – or he could be honest. When he looked back at her, there was a challenge in her eyes, and Sidney knew then that she already knew who he was. “I just got drafted to the Pens for my first NHL season.”

She sighed, “Can I tell you something?” 

Sidney furrowed his brows, his mouth tilting down in a smile. He was new to the whole ‘local celebrity’ deal, but this by far, is probably one of the least impressed reactions he’d ever had. She clearly knew he wasn’t in school, but had still taken the kind courtesy to ask him the question, despite the futility of it.

He nodded. 

“I only know one Pens player.” Then she pointed to something out of the window, “That banner has been staring at me every week for the past three months.”

Sidney huffed a laugh, thinking she was joking, but followed her finger anyway. He was immediately faced with a street corner, tens of people walking past each other – he could even make out their voices if he concentrated hard enough, and it took a while to figure out what exactly she was pointing at, until his eyes settled on a billboard at least a block down.

He’d been told that for press reasons, the Pens had come up with the idea of a way of promoting him as a player, and a ‘person of Pittsburgh’, by plastering some action shots of him – still staged – around the city. He’d neglected to look up lately, fearing that if he did, he’d be faced with some images of himself, but he hadn’t escaped that entirely.

The billboard was small, and he wasn’t the only player on there, either, but he saw it nonetheless. 

When he spun back around to look at her once more, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “There’s two other players, not just me.”

She shrugged, “I was talking about Sergei Gonchar.”

Sidney felt the blush colour from his chest to his cheeks as he slowly put his hands over his face, consumed by humiliation. He felt himself smile into his hands when he heard the girl huff a snicker. He’d had quite a few people as of late kissing up to his ego, and apart from his teammates, she was the first one to really deliver a considerable blow – and he was thankful for that; that at least someone still had the ability to look past who he was and tease him like he was a normal person. He was aware of the irony that lay there.

He gathered himself, unabashedly removing his hands and displaying the creeping blush for her to see, and sticking his hand between them, “Sidney Crosby, rookie center for the Pittsburgh Penguins.”

She rolled her eyes, not commenting on the state of his cheeks, her smile fading slightly but still remaining, “I was joking, I know who you are.” She took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly, “Nat Brooks. Student.”

Sidney swallowed, his blush remaining for other reasons, and pulled his hand away, flexing it under the table, “Is Nat short for anything?”

“Natalia.”

“‘S very pretty.” He mumbled, and she smiled sweetly.

“Sidney’s very pretty, too. It suits you.”

Something clenched in his chest.