#I've been suffering from Sabaton and ww1 brain rot okay!?

[thebunnylord]

"Audio Diary of Morgan, cassette six, side one, log four:

Today was veteran's day, according to Victor, it was the day when the Great War ended. too bad I died before it ended.

I got to finally meet Schatzchen in person for the first time and his Tommy friends. they were nice, we sang some songs, he knew "roses of Picardy", "good morning mr Zip-zip-zip", and my personal favorite, "That's the wrong way to Tickle Mary", and exchanged war stories, and smoked some cigarettes and I tried my first beer. the Meriwether family came along too, Mouse made us both Poppy crowns to wear, her grandfather after hearing that Schatzchen lost his iron cross, gifted him one to wear. meanwhile I was given a silver war badge. I was told that the medal was given to soldiers who were honorably discharged due to wounds or sickness.

giving medals to wounded men, I bet they only came up with that medal to make the higher ups feel better about sending those men out there to get wounded or killed to begin with! I have done nothing! why am I getting a medal for literally loosing my eyes!! I couldn't control that! that wasn't courageous! it's a sham!! at least Schatzchen did something to justify his medal! unlike me, Schatzchen actually had SOME control in how he earned his iron cross!

when Victor first read about Schatzchen's story on a blog, I will admit, I did feel jealous of him, it didn't seem fair that a Jerry of all engines would receive more recognition and praise than me, a Tommy who died and lost their innocence too soon. I couldn't help but ask Why? why did an enemy engine that served under the Kaiser escape death, but not me. how come he survived and I didn't? where did I go wrong?

Victor told me that unfortunately, death is not fair. it doesn't matter if you are good or bad, or what you do, death will find you. think of it like a game of Russian Roulette, you know that the bullet is in one of the chambers, but you don't know which one, and who it is going to land on, that's just how death is. Victor also gave me a history lesson about Germany's side in the Great war, he said that yes, Schatzchen was on a different side at the time, but it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, we were both put in the same place, we actually have more in common, both of us were young and lost our innocence to war way too soon, we both lost a piece of us, and we were both serving our country. he also read me "all quiet on the western front" to me to give me a better idea, and yeah, he's right, I should just let my animosity go, it's been over a hundred years now, what's even the point anymore?

While spending time with Schatzchen, I still couldn't help but notice that the war affected us differently, he seemed to have came out on the other side with a strong sense of the value of life, and a sense of Humanity, while I came out with a strong hatred towards humanity for even putting me in that situation. how was he after everything, still able to find a sense of Humanity and care for those humans? how come he is willing to risk his life to save the humans that basically were responsible for his existence? I saw what humans are capable of, I saw the toxic gas and the bombs. what did he see that I didn't?

I will probably never find an answer to my questions. war is a sensless thing, why try to make sense of something that has none? I hope to see Schatzchen again. I do feel a sense of comfort knowing that I am not alone, I wasn't the only one who suffered, it feels such a huge relief to finally have someone who actually gets it.

end of log four,

Morgan"

[Schatzchen belongs to @duncandonuts06 . I know it's very early to be posting a november 11th post, but I don't know if I'm going to be gone on that weekend or not, so...]