#I've been searching for 10 years but can't find the exit

[thedivinecalamity]

It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

^ Apparently I've been on this godforsaken site for 10 years now. (Yes, 10 years. I had a blog with a default icon and no posts for about a year before I deleted it and started this blog).

Can someone let me out yet.

[babygirlkiki1016]

Masterlist

Chapter 3: Trolls

Chapter 4: Between two races.

After the nasty business with the Trolls, Thorin believed there to be a cave nearby. We gathered our things and placed them back up onto the ponies. While our steeds waited for our return, we headed to the Troll Hoard. It was filled with riches and gold, something that the dwarves would love.

"Oh, what’s that stench?!" Bofur placed a hand over his nose so he wouldn't have to smell the odor.

"It’s a troll hoard, be careful what you touch," Gandalf warned, the dwarves cough from the foul smell, then as they go deeper inside the cave they come upon the trolls’ treasure. While the dwarves searched the weapons laying around, something caught my eye. It wasn't a blade or dagger, it was a stone, a light blue jewel with the same symbol on my back. Each digonisk family member, when they wished to join the armies a mark would be imprinted in their skin to show their family's crest. Mine was a black dragon with red eyes, it traveled from my waist up to my back to my chest. The stone had the same symbol upon it, up until the last detail. And on the other side, it had letters from my language. If you were reading it in English, it would have said home, but to me, I read it as 'Pilias'. Home, did it mean the old kingdom of Larthas? The stone looked so familiar but I just couldn't place it, where did it come from? Where did the trolls find this?

"Let’s get out of this foul place. Come on, let’s go. Bofur, Gloin, Nori. Y/n." Thorin called catching my attention, but his eyes were upon the stone in my hand. "What is that?" It was too late to hide it now, but perhaps he hadn't seen the runes upon it.

"Just a stone, nothing special but I have a knack for these things." I gave him a fake smile, but he rushed over and held out his hand. He knew I was hiding something, if I were to refuse to give it to him he would become more suspicious about my intentions.

"Hand it over." He demanded, his eyes piercing into mine. All eyes were on us, my hand shakily placed it in his. Once his eyes landed on it, he seemed confused but handed it back to me. "I should've known you would carry something that has the language of your kin." He growled leaving the cave, I let out a breath in relief. I'm glad he could care less about the stone, as we exit the cave the two brothers come up to me.

"Are you alright Y/n?" Kill asked, checking me for any wounds, giving him a small smile I nod.

"Don't worry, I'm alright." My gaze goes down to the object in my hand, and they follow it.

"What is that? What does it say?" Fili asked, hesitantly taking it from me to get a better look.

"In my language, it says Pilias, which means home," I explained as he ran his finger over the carvings, examining it with great caution. The both of them grinned at the design, but it soon faltered as Thorin yelled a warning. Something was coming our way, It sounded like thumping, not hooves or paws of a wolf, but rabbits.

"Stay together! Hurry, now! Arm yourselves!" Gandalf shouted, Kili and Fili stood in front of me protectively. Summoning a bow for myself, Thorin watched in curiosity at the magic I had used. Suddenly Radagast bursts through the bushes on his sled.

"I knew I heard rabbits." I grinned and stepped forward to greet my old friend.

"Radagast. It’s Radagast the Brown!" Gandalf announces as puts his sword away and approaches the brown wizard. Radagast smiled at him for a second but when he saw me he gasped. Before he could ask why I was with dwarves, Gandalf continued. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong." He was right, the more we traveled across the land the more I felt a darkness come upon us.

"Yes?" Radagast goes to speak but stops, almost as if he lost his train of thought.

"Just give me a minute. Um…Oh! I had a thought and now I’ve lost it. It was…it was was right there, on the tip of my tongue! Oh! It’s not a thought at all! It’s a silly old…stick insect." He sticks his tongue out as Gandalf removes the insect and gives it back to him. The two eventually went off to speak about something, leaving the rest of us to ourselves. Balin gave me and the two brothers a look, Fili and Kili understood but I did not know what was going on.

"Perhaps one of us should stay here," Kili suggested to his brother. "Just in case the others go off the rails."

"Right, I'll speak to uncle. You have 10 minutes, just be careful Y/n, and if anything happens scream as loud as you can." My heart was pounding as Fili went off to distract Thorin, Kili sensed my distress.

"What is going on?" Kili placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, showing that I had nothing to worry about.

"Me, Balin, and Fili have decided to try and convince the rest of the dwarves that your not a threat. As each day passes Thorin becomes angrier with you, and one day we might not be able to protect you. Though if we convince the rest that your no threat then they'll be willing to protect you against my uncle."

"I can handle myself against a few dwarves Kili."

"I know, but Balin said it's better to have allies than none. Don't worry, I'll be here to protect you." He whispers and led me towards the others, I still didn't trust this idea. Why are they so determined on helping me?

"Lads while we have a moment," Balin spoke, looking back towards me for a second. "I beg that you be open-minded, and none of you speak of this to Thorin."

"What is it, brother?" Dwalin spoke stepping closer, he glanced over at us. "Is Kili trying to court Y/n?" My cheeks went red at that, Kili only looked at me and smirked. Wait, courting, Kili winked at me last night when he handed my bowl. One of the courting parts was for the interested person, to give their 'one' more food than the rest. It was a way of showing that they could provide for them. Was Kili trying to court me?

"No, we only have a short time so I'll say this quick. How many of you, know the truth about Digonisks? How many of you believe that they had nothing to do with raiding villages?" No one raised their hands, they all just looked at each other in confusion. "That is what I thought, each of you has been misled. Digonisks are not the enemy, they're the peacekeepers of middle earth."

"They slaughtered out people! Listen to yourself, Balin! She has you under her spell! Under a curse!" Before anyone could react Dwalin rushed over to me, and grabbed me by the shoulders with his weapon pointed at my neck. "You let go of my brother you witch!" His hand came in contact with my cheek, I waited for him to hit me again but I did not feel the impact. Balin and Kili stood in front of me, and both of them were furious.

"She does not have me under a spell! I know that her kind is innocent for a fact! For I am the one, who wrote the reports." Everyone's eyes widened in shock at his words, that can't be Thror was the one who wrote them. "Thror found out that I had written the truth, but while he was under the dragon sickness he ordered for me to show no one. He took it from me and threatened that if I were to show anyone I would be framed for murder. I and Thrain were the only people who knew about it, and we kept it a secret for we had no idea there was any digonisk left alive. I wanted to tell everyone, but after the cold blast, I realized if the truth were to come out people would despise us as they despise her kin. And I couldn't do that to my family, I didn't want my family to be treated as such."

"So you kept it a secret cause you were afraid of being treated like we had been for almost a hundred years?! Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering my people have been through?!" Each dwarf looked down in shame, they couldn't believe what they had heard. For all this time Balin knew the truth and he kept it to himself, cause he didn't want for his kin to be driven to hide in the shadows. "I can't believe this, why didn't you say anything at the beginning of this journey? Why didn't you say anything to Thorin?"

"He would not believe me! He may be reasonable but without hard evidence, he wouldn't believe the words that slipped from my mouth. Like Dwalin he would've hurt you, or worse, left you for dead."

"Then why tell them?"

"Thorin is becoming sick, every day we get closer to the mountain the more his need for gold grows. I've seen it, the dragon sickness is already taking effect. Them, they would believe me, for I do not lie." I wanted to blame him, but he was right. I would've probably made the same call as well, if my kin made a huge mistake and I knew the truth I probably wouldn't have told anyone. And with Thorin, that darkness that is following us, what if it's him? The dragon sickness, what if that is what I keep sensing? If he truly has it then he would not believe Balin, for he would most likely blame me. "Brother, the rest of you. I beg that you protect her against him, for he is not himself. And each day as that illness grows so does the hatred for digonisks."

"That day, of the cold blast...you were innocent weren't you?" Dwalin asked softly, he didn't seem angry anymore. He seemed on his guard but not angry as someone had betrayed him.

"We were, we had done nothing wrong but your kind had to take my kins freedom over some rumor. You know for years I wanted revenge for what the humans and dwarves had done to my kind. I wanted to end every life for the death of my family, but even in their darkest hour my mother and father still offered a truce. Even though you all slaughtered my kin like cattle, but I promised my mother something before she died." Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought her last words. I looked down, not being able to look them in the eyes. I almost couldn't finish my speech, just thinking about how much we suffered made me want to lunge at them. Made me want to hurt them but it wasn't them who did this, it was their ancestors. "No matter how much it hurts to be around you, I still kept my promise...Do you want to know what her last words were?" My gaze met his once more and he seemed more startled, his eyes widened with horror and remorse. I could feel that he was starting to understand my words and my past. "Her last words were, 'don't take revenge.' Even after everything you had done to us, after every death you had caused, she still begged for peace..." Dwalin's form made his way over to me, Kili gripped the handle of his sword as a warning but he didn't care. Instead, Dwalin slightly pushed him to the side, and then embraced me in his arms. Was he hugging me?

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, all of it. I wish we hadn't caused you such discomfort." He pulled back, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I recognized the pain in your eyes, it's the same suffering my brother had when we finished the war against our enemies in Moria. Only a person who experienced something like that is the only one I can believe." He placed himself next to me, I felt more confident now that we had him for we had a better chance at convincing the others. "Who else will join me? Who else will stand against Thorin's wrath if it comes to it?" The rest stood there, some with tears and others with a look of guilt. Bilbo, came to my side, he didn't know much about our past but I'm glad he was on my team. Kili grabbed my hand, squeezing it, telling me it was ok. Each dwarf, one by one came closer to me bowing their heads in respect.

"Don't worry Y/n, we will all defend you from Thorin. Each of us will make sure he never finds out about this, and if he does we'll protect you." Bofur who was the last dwarf to walk over bowed. Which was a good thing, because now I had all dwarves as allies. And just in time to, because Thorin came back with his nephew flustered. Fili seemed angrier than ever, was talking to his uncle that bad? Interrupting my thoughts, we heard a howling noise, making Bilbo worry.

"Was that a wolf? Are there…are there wolves out there?" He asked curiously, that was not a wolf, and I knew exactly what that was.

"Warg scouts are nearby." I pulled my weapon out once more just as something growls from behind us, we all turn to see a warg. It pounces going for Bofur but I shot it with an arrow killing it instantly. Another appeared from behind, which was killed by Thorin and Kili.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf charged over to Thorin with rage in his eyes.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?!" He asked again but he replied with the same answer.

"No one, I swear! What in Durin’s name is going on?"

"You are being hunted." Hunted? Why would the dwarves be hunted? No one else knew about our quest, perhaps they were coming for me?

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin exclaimed but Ori came running from the side.

"We can’t! We have no ponies. They bolted." He panted heavily, crap, no ponies no way out. We could fight them, but what good would that do us?

"I’ll draw them off." Radagast says getting back onto his sled.

"These are Gundabad wargs. They will outrun you!" Gandalf states but he raised his hand in a fist determined.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I’d like to see them try." Gandalf turns to me and gestures towards him.

"Go, don't worry you will see us again. I believe you know where we are headed." Rivendell, that's where he was leading the dwarves. Quickly I got on the back on Radagasts sled and readied my bow.

"Absolutely not!" Thorin growled as he grabbed my arm, but Fili pushed him away.

"Don't you lay a hand on her!" He yelled, I could hear him arguing with his uncle as we race off towards an unknown location. As we were being pursued by Orcs and wargs, I shot them one by one with my ethereal arrows. I had one hand on the sled to keep me on while the other would shoot arrows from my crossbow, I smiled as I took one down.

"So are you going to tell me what you're doing with a bunch of dwarves?" Radagast yelled trying to hold on the best he could.

"Gandalf wants me to kill Smaug! Don't worry all of them know who I am, and they're fine with it!" I explained, that seemed to be a good enough reason for him. I shot a few more down, but the more we were chased, the riskier it got for the company. I would see them every so often, and soon they were found. All of the orcs stopped following us, and followed them instead. The moment we stopped at the edge of the forest I went to go save my friends until I spotted elves charging towards the orc pack. That's good, I thought sighing in relief.

"Don't worry, your friends are on their way to Rivendell. Which you should be there before them, they will want to make sure you're ok. Be careful, not many people will be open to the idea of having your kind around." That was the last thing he said before going off on his own again. He was right, I should probably get going. Spreading my wings, I fluttered them creating a big gust of wind as I made my way to Rivendell. I flew over the mountain with the hidden valley coming into view and spotted the dwarves below on a rock staring down at the city before them. Yet as they felt the winds of a hurricane they all looked up towards me, some cheered knowing I was ok and quickly made their way down the mountain to meet me at the entrance. I began to descend, my feet contacted with the concrete stone on the passageway.

"Wocel. (Wecome)" Lindir greeted in Digon as he came down the steps, his long hair flowing down his back.

"I see your Digon has gotten better, have you been studying for me?" I joked, giving him a small smile, it has been a while since I've stopped in Rivendell. This is where most of our wheat and water sources come from, for we live in the sky and have no access to the ground. "Wiher isi Kigna Elrond? (Where is King Elrond?)"

"It may have gotten better, but I still don't understand some words in your language. So English please milady." His gaze turns to someone behind me, to greet the old grey wizard who was at fault for bringing me on this journey. "Mithrandir."

"Ah, Lindir." Gandalf greeted, but that's not the type of greeting I got. Thorin's eyes roamed over my body, and he gasped as he saw the bruise forming on my face.

"What did I tell you? You can't handle yourself!" He yelled, pointing to the purple markings on my cheek. "Like I said, your nothing but a burden to this company. Perhaps you should leave the work to the real warriors."

"Enough Thorin! That is from no orc, it is from me." Dwalin turned to face him with a furious look, though he glanced at his hand in disappointment. "I struck her for hitting you, and she did not expect it."

"So not only is she weak, but blind as well. Only the more reason as to why she shouldn't be here, this is no place for filth like her."

"Don't call me that." I whispered tears sprung to my eyes, it's like I was weak around him. As if I couldn't handle my posture when he was in my presence, what can't I stay strong? Why do his words hurt me more than others? All he did was shake his head.

"How can you expect to fight a dragon when you act like a child." I did nothing this time, I didn't hit him, I didn't strike him. I just turned away and went to go to the garden but he spoke once more. "Your weak, just like the rest of your kin that died in the cold blast."

"What did you just say to me?" My eyes turned red as my wings spread, he wasn't smiling anymore. "You call me weak? I'll show you weak!" With one blast of my magic, I threw him back making him hit the white bridge. He let out a gasp of air, trying to gather his breath but I had knocked the wind out of him. I wasn't done with him, I made my way over with a sword in hand. "You think you can take me on?" I brought down my sword, quickly he blocked. "You think that your stronger than me?!" I struck again, this time cutting his cheek. "I AM Y/N! THE QUEEN OF THE DIGONISKS! THE SOUL OF THE BLACK DRAGON!" He blocked each time I went to hit him, he didn't hit me back, he just stared at me in horror. I brought down my weapon once more, and this time he couldn't block, for he was to slow. My weapon stopped as it was pointed at his neck, and I smirked at the fear that was painted on his face. "You will do well to respect me, for you have just been bested. So Thorin, any words?" He kept silent as he stood, sheathing his blade. I returned to my normal form, and walked off towards the sanctuary.

Elrond wouldn't mind, Rivendell was like my second home anyways. Elves besides wizards were the only ones who knew what happened that day. They knew that my people weren't terrible, they knew the truth. Walking through the garden, my mind swirled with thoughts. My actions didn't help my case that I was innocent, what I had just done to their king was not right. I shouldn't have been so careless, I should've kept calm. Let's just hope they all forgive me, for I need their help to get through this journey.

~♪♠♪~

The sun began to set, making everything an orange shade, and the water down below was just gorgeous. I missed land, our floating island wasn't that big and we barely had room for farms. I wish we could go back to Larthas, hopefully, once I get those scrolls we can return home.

"Y/n." A gruff voice called, he stood next to me, arms folded against his chest. The cut on his cheek had been tended to, it wasn't as deep as I thought it was. Tears sprung to my eyes, I didn't feel like dealing with him right now. And the thought of his words from earlier hurt me more.

"Please go away." My words came out like a whisper, he didn't say anything as he joined me on the balcony. He sent me a look of remorse as he noticed the tear that slipped down my cheek. "I do not want to deal with your hatred right now."

"I do not have hatred for you."

"Really? Cause that's how you acted this entire trip. All because of where I come from, you see me as nothing but an enemy...I've tried my hardest to keep calm but you're making it hard. Why do you hate me so much? What have I've done to you? I barely know you!" His hand hesitantly slipped over mine, he clutched it gently, I wanted to pull away but I also wanted to enjoy this moment. It was very rare that I would have a moment like this with him, where he was nice.

"...I'm sorry, your right I have been acting rudely. I shouldn't have said the things I said. It was wrong for me to speak in such a way...I worry, I worry that you'll turn your back on us. That you're not here to slay Smaug, that your here to kill us."

"If I wanted to kill you I would've done it already, besides Gandalf wouldn't bring me along if he knew I would do such a thing." As much as I wanted to beat the crap out of Thorin for hurting me, I understand how he felt. I have to worry about myself, I have to worry if they've poisoned me or not. Or if they're planning to kill me, it was all so frustrating. "I know you hate me, but you shouldn't, for I am not the one who slaughtered your kin. Even if my kind had, I was too young to be a soldier during that time. And I'm pretty sure you were too young to be a soldier when the cold blast happened. So truth is, we shouldn't hate each other for something our ancestors did." I glanced over at him, a look of guilt spread across his face as he became deeper in thought. His eyes became glossy for a moment, but he blinked them away and smiled at me.

"Your right, we shouldn't hate each other for something we weren't there for." He seemed nervous, almost as if he had to choose his words carefully. "It's not like I could've been there at the cold blast, it was almost two hundred years ago." There was sarcasm in his voice, I had a feeling he was lying to me about something, the cold blast was a hundred years ago. Not two, how old was he? "Perhaps we could start over?" He looked at me with hope, his body became incredibly close to mine. I couldn't help but smile at his efforts.

"I'd like that."

@fili-is-my-lover @kirenia15 @lunariasilver @depressedchilipepper @tschrist1

[iceslushii]

So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.

So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.

It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.

Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.

Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.

Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.

You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".

Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".

If I ever get out o

Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.

So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.

They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.

Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!

Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.

The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.

Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.

Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.

Years.

[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]

Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.

Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.

We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.

Oops, asking the journal questions again!

I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.

I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.

The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.

We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.

Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.

Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.

Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.

A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.

The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.

I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.

Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.

It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.

One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.

No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.

Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.

I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.

But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.

The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.

Well. That was a fun train of thought.

Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.

Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.

We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.

Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.

Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.

The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.

Exchange is

I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.

It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.

I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.

My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.

Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye

[lennydaisy]

EPIPHANY // OUTER BANKS

The Outer Banks. Paradise on earth. Well, it is if you can afford it.

Figure 8, home of the portentous and intitled. So detached from reality that you'd have to use their private jets to bring them back down to the ground. If they're not lounging around on their secluded beaches in front of their White House sized mansions, then they're at the country club complaining that their ice-cold lemonade isn't ice-cold enough. We call them Kooks. Guess where I don't live?

Next up, The Cut, neutral habitat of, drum roll please ladies and gentleman... The Pogues. Lowest members of the food chain. You see, it's one island divided in two. You either have two houses or two jobs. I have two jobs and will still never be able to afford one house, let alone two, but that's life I guess. The Pogues are like those kids your parents tell you to stay away from when you visit the park. Well, now the park has stretched to all aspects of life warranting us to be unwanted and neglected which isn't such a bad thing, that just means we get to do whatever we want, whenever we want.

Right now, however, this is the last place I want to be. Save-A-Lot. One of my two jobs. See how this all ties in?

The continuous, subtly, beeping of the scanner, the bright overhead lights that the same moth has been flying into for a week now, that one cart that you can hear before you see, and this frustratingly itchy, red polo shirt that I'm wearing because it's 'oh-so mandatory'.

It's been reported that a storm is going to hit us in a couple of days, so naturally, the stores been busier than usual, with both Kooks and Pogues. It's like sacred land, all differences get put aside in this very store unless there's a two for one deal at the seafood counter. In that case, no one's safe, not even me, the poor, little employee. I've been slapped with a Tuna Fish before. I don't want to talk about it.

"Can I interest you in some... What are they again? Sea salted chocolate with a crushed Macadamia nut shell and a rich creamy filling, homemade by Mrs Adams?" I squint at the packaging before smiling at the man before me who peered at me, head tilted slightly. Nodding instantly, already knowing the answer, "I don't blame you, I wouldn't trust anything made by that lady."

Smashing my fingers on the scratch invested, touch screen register, slapping the side of the machine until it eventually rings up the total, "That'll be $148.98 however, you get the extended family discount, so that makes it..." twirling my finger around the air, attempting the mental math, "10% off $148," I utter, closing my eyes as if that's going to help me find the answer quicker. 'I knew I should have joined the math team with Pope.'

"$134," the man affirms looking at me sympathetically, halting my search for my calculator that is normally taped to the till. I take the mans money, squinting at him, "Okay, I'll take your word for it man but if I get fired, I want a job at The Wreck," handing him his receipt.

"We'll see," he said putting his packed bags back into his cart, "I'll get through to you one day. You can't deny I'm your favourite" I state in a matter of fact, waving him off as he pushes his cart away from the checkout, "Bye Mason."

"I don't hear you denying it," I shout, watching him hurridly pushing his cart towards the door, "Okay bye Mr Carrera, tell Kie I said hi!"

Twirling around in my chair a couple of times, I came to a stop at the sight of a pink calculator, my pink calculator, taped to Mrs Adams till. That Bitch. I sit patiently for her to be done with her customers, waving at the elderly couple as they pass, "See you later Mr and Mrs Graham, have a nice day," I smile.

"Oh you too Mason, you should stop by again, you and your friends were such a delight the last time," Mrs Graham praises tapping her ringed fingers on my counter. Nodding at her request as her husband began to drag her away from me, claiming he 'Wants to be home today not tomorrow,' knowing his wife to be quite the blether.

"What a pleasant young lady. Wouldn't you agree, Marty?"

"Oh yes, very well mannered."

"Listen here, sticky fingers, I know you stole my calculator" My smile instantly dropping as I look upon the thief that I have the pleasure of calling my co-worker.

Mrs Adams is your typical grandma. Tonged hair, thick-rimmed glasses and filled with opinions that are always unwarranted. She has had it out for as long as I can remember, once locking me in the walk-in freezer claiming to not know I was in there despite being in there with me moments before. At least I only have to deal with her a few days a week, I couldn't handle any more than that.

"What calculator?" she questions innocently. Pointing my finger accusingly at her till where low and behold, sits my calculator, "Oh really, what's that then?"

Sparing a glance at my calculator, she shakes her head, nose pointed up, "That's an anniversary gift from my husband. I, by no means, stole your calculator."

I can't believe I'm having this conversation.

Laughing at her alibi, "Are you aware of how much bullsh-", the clearing of a throat interrupts my tangent and I suddenly became aware of where I am again. Mrs Adams raises her eyebrows at me, is she mocking me? Glaring at her one last time as to say 'this conversation isn't over', I timidly spun my chair back around, plastering a smile on my face, getting ready to greet my next customer.

Oh no.

"Hi, Mr Cameron," I greet the man, scratching behind my ear hoping he didn't overhear me. Beginning to scan his items, another figure catches my eye.

Rafe.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, I present the biggest dickhead on the entire island. He thinks everybody owes him something just because his daddy is well known throughout the OBX and has no problem expressing his distaste for anyone who doesn't fit his agenda. He's a cocky, arrogant snob who needs to be knocked off his podium a few inches, or feet.

"Hello, Mason, and how many times have I told you to call me Ward?"

"Clearly not enough for me to listen," I mutter under my breath, passing the already packed bags towards a very accepting Rafe, who snatched them with a scrawl printed on his face, "Your face will stay like that if the winds change" I advise innocently, waving my fingers around my forehead area, "Don't want to get any wrinkles, but if you need some anti-ageing cream, I'm sure Mrs Adams can recommend a few of her favourites,"

"Maybe even get you a coupon," I suggest finishing to scan the last of their items, "Isn't that right, Mrs Adams," I called to the lady over my shoulder how instantly peeped up at the chance to chat with the boy.

"Oh, yes. Come here deary, I'll show you my collection,"

It's no secret throughout the OBX that Mrs Adams is a bit of a renowned cougar, having no problem expressing herself towards any sort of male attention. Mrs Adam doesn't discriminate, so even assholes like Rafe can't escape the clutches of her fondness, but she's harmless... most of the time.

Ward nudges his son in the direction of the lady, who is eagerly waiting for the boy with her creams placed in an orderly fashion before her. Rafe's eyes practically begging for his dad to have some mercy on him only to earn a point in her direction.

"I hate you," he huffs at me, feet dragging towards the ladies till.

Fluttering my eyes with a cheesy smile, "I know," I say before turning to finish Mr Cameron's groceries.

"That's $236 please," I state ringing up his total as he slides his card into the swipe machine, "It'll take a minute, a caveman has better technology than this place." He shakes his head at me, waving his hand slightly, understanding.

"Sea salted chocolate, uh?" he wonders picking up the bar, as I mentally slap myself for forgetting to ask if he was interested, "Would you like to buy one?" I questioned despite already knowing his answer. It's the same one that I've heard all day.

Placing the packet back in its place he shakes his head, "No thank you, I wouldn't trust anything made by that lady."

"That's what I'm saying," ripping off his receipt before handing it to him, "Thank you, Mason," he laughs before turning towards his son, who is still listening to Mrs Adams ramble on about why she prefers Olay over Caudlíne.

About to bid farewell to the man, he turns and asks, "I hate to be a bother and I know it's short notice, but would you mind babysitting Wheezie for me on Saturday morning, I know you don't normally work weekends, it's just this storm's going to cause a run-in with my properties and-"

"Of course I will, Mr Cameron," I interrupted his ramble. He looks at me relieved, nodding his head, "See you later, Mason."

"Bye Ward," gross, I'm sticking with Mr Cameron.

Watching as the pair walk past my till I can't help but laugh as I see Rafe slouching away with a tub of Olay Anti-ageing cream. Turning around at the sound, he flips me off, "I'll get you back for this," earning a shoving on the shoulder from his dad, but I can't help but wave cheerily, "Oh, I'm sure you will."

Mr Ward Cameron, my other boss. A few years ago I put up flyers with a tear-off of my phone number offering a babysitting service. Safe to say, I got my fair share of prank calls and when I got a call from someone claiming to be Mr Cameron I assumed it was someone messing with me again, but it turns out it wasn't. He genuinely needed someone to watch his youngest daughter Wheezie and I needed cash, and he does pay generously, especially now considering recent circumstances.

Glancing at the clock that is nailed above the exit I see that it's 2:00 P.M, the best time of my day, getting out of here. Grabbing the key from my pocket, I lock up the till before heading toward the poor excuse of a staff room.

Glancing around the room blue painted room, making sure no one is still on their lunch, I quickly grab my bag and dash over to the fridge. I never, and mean never, condone stealing, that's why I don't call it that. I prefer 'borrowing and then 'forgetting' to give it back'. Sure, I never asked if I could 'borrow' the alcohol that I am currently stuffing in my bag but, that's neither here nor there.

I throw my bag, which I can already tell is going to cause my back hell, over my shoulder. I grab Kie longboard, which I did ask for permission to use, and begin to make my way past the checkouts.

Before leaving, I pivot around, "Hey, Mrs Adams," I called out just to see that she was already glaring in my direction, a bit creepy if you ask me, "Don't worry, you've only got like what, another 6 hours?" acting like I didn't know as I pointed at the clock.

"Oh, and before I forget," I rush over to her counter and rip my calculator off her till. Smiling sweetly at the older lady, saluting her as I leave, "See you next week, Mrs Adams," I laugh, running out the door, jumping onto the longboard.

Let the fun begin.

Now there is something about my friends that you should know. As cheesy as its sounds, we're a group of misfits who happen to fit perfectly together, well almost perfectly, but no matter what we've got each other backs.

Now, where do we start?

JJ Maybank. We've been best friends since the third grade after he got into a fight with some kids who were making fun of me for having a 'boys name', and I haven't been able to get rid of him since. He's the guy who jokingly pushed me off the HMS Pogue only to quickly find out that I couldn't swim. I insisted that it was fine but JJ doesn't take no for an answer and took it upon himself to personally teach me.

He's the most loyal guy I know, willing to drop anything to help his friends. I most definitely developed my kleptomaniac tendencies from him and despite how much I deny it, I have a soft spot for him.

Next, Kiara Carrera or Kie, my best and only girl friend. I met Kie during her first year at the Kook Academy, I had seen her around before, passing out leaflets about how 'we're killing our planet' and that 'the turtles deserve better'.

I was about to go fishing with my dad when I saw someone sitting at the dock, feet dangling in the water. Long story short: she was supposed to meet up with some of her 'friends' but they had sailed away leaving her behind. So, I asked if she would like to come fishing with us, half expecting her to say no, being partly a Kook and all, but she said yes. And now she's one of us, the Pogues. Not sure how her parents feel about that, but there is no denying I'm their favourite. Right?

There's Pope Heyward. I met Pope in the first grade. We were sitting beside each other at assembly and he dared to tell me that my singing voice sounded like cats dying, not that he was any better mind you. I had seen him around the cut a few times, helping his dad with deliveries and after seeing him struggle to carry four bags of groceries, I offered him some help. Of course, being a stubborn 6-year old boy, he delined saying 'I don't need your help, I'm super strong'. Safe to say, two seconds later I was carrying two bags and helped Pope and Mr Heyward with the rest of the deliveries that day.

I got an earful from my dad when I got home, but I didn't care, I'd made a friend that wasn't my brother. They didn't believe me when I said I had a friend called Pope, just brushing it off as one of my imaginary friends. Let's just say they got a fright when my 'imaginary friend, Pope' showed up at the Château.

Speaking of, up next, John Booker Routledge, John B. My twin, fraternal twin. Is 12 minutes older than me and will never let me forget it. My favourite memory with John B was when he fought to the death with our triplet in the womb. Okay, maybe that didn't happen, but you weren't there so, where's your evidence that it didn't?

He's my other half, not my better half because we all know I'm the better twin, and I couldn't live with him and his optimism. He can be irrational at times, but he always has plan A-Z mapped out in his head. I'm currently trying to convince him that we psychic powers, and by currently I'm mean from the day we were born. It's a weird sensation like there's a pit in the bottom of my stomach, and once I get that feeling I know that something's not right. And with a brother like John B, I get that feeling at least 3 times a day.

Might as well introduce myself whilst I'm at it. I'm Mason, Mason Routledge. The better twin. Yes, I too, have a middle name but I will never tell it to anyone because of how utterly embarrassing it is. I have managed to swear John B to secrecy, but I know it's just a matter of time before he blurts it out.

Now I know what you're probably thinking, 'Mason? That's a boys name.' Well yes, you'd be right but really what is a boys or girls name? The reason why I'm called Mason is simple, mom and dad were expecting twins. Twin boys. They had the names planned out as soon as they heard the news. One would be named John B after our dad, Big John, and the other would be named Mason, after our mom's dad. Makes sense, right?. Well, it was until I popped out, y' know not being a boy. But I love my name and I wouldn't change it for the world. My unspoken middle name, however, yes, I would rather that just not be associated with me.

I like to believe that I can hold my own, maybe it's because I grow up in a predominantly male household or the fact that I'm a Pogue, but I don't take peoples shit. My friends and I seem to always have the world against us, but without a doubt, I'd ride or die for them. They're my family.

Seeing the all too familiar hippie van parked at the side off the road brings me out of my autopilot state. Jumping off the longboard, I hurriedly shoved it into the back of the van. Fun fact about John B's van, he never locks it. There would be the fear about someone stealing it, but honestly, it's trashed and smells like weed, no thanks to JJ.

Quickly scaling the fence and as quietly as possible I tip-toed into the under-construction house and up the cement stairs, dodging the dangling wires and leftover pots of plaster.

'I can't believe they got rid of the turtles for this'

I'd know that voice anywhere. Peering around the corner, I spot Kie, hunched over a table reading what I'm assuming is maps for the house. Coming up with an idea, I slowly start to creep towards her, raising my hands just to clasp them down on her shoulders, "And what do you think you're doing?" I say in the deepest voice I can muster.

Jumping out her skin with a squeal, she spins around, hand over her heart, breathing heavily, "Macy, what the fuck? Don't do that," she exclaims, slapping my arm after she realises it was only me.

Unable to stop myself from laughing at her shock, "God, Kie, didn't know you had such a girly scream," I wheeze, arms wrapped around my stomach in an attempt to stop the ache.

Nodding her head pettily, "Yeah okay, you got me," clicking her tongue, but against her best efforts, a small smile dances across her face.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm my giggles, "Once you're done with sad girl hours, come out back, I've got beer," making my way towards the open glass doors.

"Caring about the turtles doesn't make me a sad girl," she exclaims as I nod my head understandingly, "You keep telling yourself that," I wave stepping outside, breathing in the fresh ocean breeze.

From under the scaffolding, I see a pair of dangling legs, "Afternoon, boys," I announce, jumping up in an attempt to smack the dangling feet that I now know belong to JJ

"Did you get the goods?" asks John B causing me to hold my hand on my heart, mocking insult, "Do you have no faith in me Johnny boy," tosing him a beer, "Of course, I got the goods."

Holding one out for Pope, even though I knew he would decline, proving my point as he shook his head, "And where did you get said goods?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

Grabbing two beers, I begin to climb up the scaffolding, plopping down next to JJ, handing him a beer which he greatly excepts, "Are you question my morals?" I ask, taking a big gulp of my beer instantly wincing at the lukewarm taste.

"No, no," I hear him say, turning around, occupying himself with the builder's tools.

It a pretty view from up here. The calm crashing of the waves. The way the cold ocean and the warm sky meet for a perfect kiss on the horizon. Imagine living here. Having no worries. Being full Kook.

Glancing at the boy beside me, I see that he was already looking at me. Lifting my eyebrows in question, "You look cute," he cheekily says, picking at the loose thread on my sleeve.

"Very funny JJ," I saying, looking back out at the water, "No, I'm serious. I love a woman in uniform," nudging his shoulder into mine and I nudge him right back, "Hey," he laughs, dramatically falling to his side, "Watch the sweet nectar," holding his can of beer dearly to his chest.

Shaking my head, I turn to see John B scaling the house, jumping up to the peak of the roof, "Hey, please be careful, Johnny B, we don't earn enough to cover a medical bill," I warn sitting my beer beside me, using my hands to block the blinding sun, staring questionably at the boy.

"Oh, but you'd catch me though, right?" he says, now taunting the idea of falling, balancing on one foot with outstretched arms, "And break your fall? Nope," I popped, reach over to grab my can only to grasp the air. Looking at where I know I placed it, my confusion vanishes when I hear the sounds of slurping beside me.

Blinking at the boy, who just peers back at me after tanning my can, crushing it, and letting out a pleasant burp which he so graciously blows in my direction, "Gross, JJ," attempting to swat away the smell. The boy just shrugs, "What were you not done with that?" faux concern covering his face but his eyes glistening with knowing mischief.

"Should I do it?"

"Yeah, jump. I'll shoot you on the way down," says Pope, aim a drill in my brother's direction, "You'll shoot me?" John B taunts, holding up a finger gun, "Pow," he laughs as Pope fall back onto the table pretending to be shot.

"They're going to have Japanese toilets with towel warmers," complains Kie, slugging her way onto the balcony, voicing her distaste for the future Kook's beach house.

"Didn't I tell you to come out when you were done being sad?", I direct, leaning my chin against the cold pole, feeling on top of the world as the fresh breeze blows through my hair.

That swiftly changes when Kie dashes towards my feet, tugging the laces on my converses loose as I hastily attempt to lift my feet away from her snapping fingers, "Go away!" I exclaim hugging my legs to my chest, tusking at her antics "God, you're annoying."

My comment doesn't affect her as she blows me a kiss which I can't help but catch, holding it to my heart sending a wink in her direction, "This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about the turtle I guess?"

"Well, I did, but since you've-" I start, but the feeling of my shoe gets tighter distracts me, "...What are you doing?" I question as JJ finishes up my shoes, "You should double knot your laces," he comments, tapping his fingers in a random beat on the toe of my shoes.

Lightly, I begin to flick his hand away only for him to grab my wrist, fiddling with the silver ladybug charm on my bracelet, "Can I have this?" He has asked me this multiple times in the past and the answer has always been the same, "No."

"Can you please not kill yourself?" Kie squints up at my brother, "And don't spill that beer, you're not getting another one," JJ adds just as a sudden gust of wind brushed past causing John B to lose his balance and drop his beer.

Jinx.

"Oh, shit. No!" cries John B, making grabby hands at his fallen beer.

"Of course you did, like right when I told you."

"Smooth."

"Well done, dumbass!"

"Hey!"

The sound of a car pull up to the driveway halts our attack on John B, yelling being heard, "Hey, uh, securities here. Let's wrap it up," confirms Pope, making JJ and I raise to our feet as John B slides off the roof, "Boys are here early today."

Rushing over to grab my bag once my feet are back on the balcony, I lean over the railing squinting, "Gary? Is that you?" I asked, "You know it's me, Mason."

Turning around to look at friends, "It's Gary guys," I smile, "Gary, good to see you, man!" JJ adds and quickly pulls the back of my bag when he sees Gary climb up the stairs, "JJ!"

"You two, are asking for it," Kie laughs as we all rush back through the house, all of us laughing and cheering, running down the stairs, "Go, go!" I giggled as I Gary's attempts to grab me but I duck under his swinging arms, running out to the garden.

"Not much of a hugger man," JJs joke echoing off the empty wall of the house.

Running up beside Pope, I urge him up over the fence, "Come on, Pope, go, go, go," landing on the other side, watching as he lands flat on his face, "Graceful as always Pope," I giggle pulling him back on his feet.

"Come on Pope, Fatso's coming" JJ encourages, suddenly landing beside us just barely missing the hot-headed security who is dangling over the fence, "Come here, you little pricks!"

"Bus is leaving," John B pulls up the van honking the horn, Kie opening the door for us, laughing as we shove each other in. John B wastes no time hitting the gas, driving away from the angry security.

"Check out Gary, gunnin' for a raise," Pope laughs as we watch a hopeless Gary chase after the van.

Having an idea, JJ unzips my bag and leans out of the open door, "Come on Gary," he taunts, waving the beer can in front of the man like you would a dog with a treat.

"You're going to give him a heart attack," Kie sympathises but still finds his actions amusing, "You're so close! You can do it. There you go," he tosses the can at the poor man who attempts to dodge it.

"God, they don't pay you enough, man" I laugh peering out the door, taking in the sight of Gray who is wheezing with his hands planted on his knees.

Seeing enough torture for one day, Kie tugs us back in, "That's enough," she says finally feeling sorry for the poor man, sliding the door close.

"Oh, come on. That sort of initiative is just begging to be punished," reasons JJ, plopping down in the back of the van, now finding interest fiddling with the blunt he pulled from his back pocket.

I lean my head on Kie's shoulder and sigh, "I love Gary," I confess, earning a flick on the head from Pope and a nudge on the leg from JJ

We're the Pogues, and our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time.

Prologue: FIN!

What did you think?

I’m really excited to explore Mason’s character and her adventures with the Pogues. I have so much planned for her.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction <3

[jdmainman123]

Yeah I do have the sign for you remember the reindeer I found on a train tracks and I jumped down onto the train tracks and one by one I lifted a reindeer up on the train station waiting room WTF?

Well satellite maker got on a train and unbuckled his top pants buckle we were coming back from the malls of America it's what I promised Minnesota I would landmark their City THAT'S RIGHT THE WORST TRAIN I'VE EVER BEEN ON YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT LOOKS LIKE THAT LITTLE TRAIN THAT CASEY RIDE THAT GOES FROM THE BRIDGE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE UNION STATION JUST THAT TINY ASS TRAIN THAT GOES AROUND TO THE TO THE WHERE THEY SELL THE FISH IN THE BACK GOES AROUND THE LOOPHOLE

And he said one thing to me we can't let you be a satellite maker because you're not allowed to be sexy or cute

AND THEN WE HAVE TO FIND OUT THAT THAT YOUR SNOW ALLIANCE WE'RE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THE STATEMENTS THAT YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE MADE LIKE A WHITE SKIN MAN BALD HEAD STEPPING OUT OF AN AIRPLANE BRIGHT BLACK SHIRT AND RED PANTS yeah make that a short black bright shirt short sleeves so you can see his shaved arms or hairless arms

AND AND THEY KNEW I WAS CHARGED WITH SIGNS OUTSIDE TOO THE PROBLEM WAS I shouldn't have been I've been acquitted and they said after the trial was over you won you won don't worry about it

Meanwhile on the back of the hair they're scratch and they want me to go and see the satellite Baker face to face and tell him I called and pulled the trigger on my brother because he was stealing money from me

I've searched all around the world for downtown Jason to save me downtown Jason I yelled for 15 years every downtown I went to I got off the airport airplane went to the information booth where's downtown Jason live. And then at this point to the exit get out of here you f****** idiot. I go downtown it's downtown Jason here black skinny supposed to save my life he's my biggest fan I'm his biggest fan I live in a house. And 10 years later one downtown the same way is airplane Jason here is is black skin Jason here my Lord and Savior my best brother that's going to save my life promise to save my life time and time again 5 years later I run off the airplane is downtown Jason here where's downtown Jason live I love him so much he's supposed to save me today

And nothing so we live we're left with one conclusion all the boys named Jason were born in the house

And it's an accident for you guys to take advantage of me this way and let me remind you you're going to be walking to the dark and see a bright light

It's a dead family and that sign on the door means stay out of my f****** Church stay away from my family it's not yours auntie Stevens and integration

[punkscowardschampions]

Tess & Ali

Tess: I need you to look after your brother this afternoon. A few hours max. Ali: Can't Bea and Fraze do it? Where's Ro? Tess: They could but I'm asking you. Ro can help if you insist Ali: Fine, how long do I have to get back Tess: How long do you need? Ali: An hour should do it Tess: You've got 30 minutes Tess: Nowhere you should be takes longer than that Ali: I mean, you're the one asking me, mama Ali: leave the key in the plant pot if you must, I wouldn't trust him unattended personally but Tess: You and I both know I'm not asking, Ali. Tess: Be home in 30 minutes or less if you know what's good for you Tess: I can't leave until you show up Ali: I'll bike as fast as my little legs can carry me Ali: Sir yes Sir! Tess: Get your girlfriend to give you a lift if you're that far from home Tess: She can come in, she knows she's welcome Ali: About that Ali: I've gone solo ✌ Tess: Alright Tess: Anything we need to talk about? Ali: How to get rid of a body? Tess: Good one Ali: Thank you thank you very much Tess: Ain't mad you're single, but I did like her Ali: Aww, she liked you too, dollface Ali: Single, mingling, living the dream Tess: You'd bike faster if you stopped taking the piss Ali: ain't how I was raised babe Tess: Not your babe Ali: I get it, you only got eyes for Marlene Ali: bit rude but there we go Tess: You've done worse, kid Tess: Weren't gonna have eyes for Ronan, was I Ali: Its the shit ink, ain't it? Ali: Art snob 😉 Tess: 'Course Tess: What other complaints could a mother, or self respecting woman, have, like Ali: are you accusing me of having no self-respect? Ali: i'll have you know i think very highly of myself Ali: too highly if you ask my teachers Tess: Hence you had your own complaints about him Tess: Your da is gonna wanna give you a chat now you're single again, hurry home so you don't miss that, yeah? Ali: maybe I'll bring my new squeeze to meet the parents Ali: shut him up, have you pining, polishing a picture of Lene like Tess: You reckoned you were solo a minute ago Tess: How long's this ride home? Ali: You know Ali: I work fast Tess: Anyone I'm gonna to need to run checks on? Tess: Or do more than stare daggers at Ali: 🙄 That's illegal, or at the very least, highly frowned upon Ali: Don't you love the surprise? Tess: I'm joking, bab Tess: And you know I ain't loved a surprise since Rocky Tess: Especially yours Ali: 😘 its not Ronan doing a rerun Ali: everything's coming up roses, yeah? Tess: I'll take that Ali: high five Ali: just finding my shorts Tess: I'm not asking why you need a full scale search Tess: I'd rather not know Ali: Your loss, s'a great story Tess: Save it for the next bonfire Tess: Your da would love that Ali: 💚 Someone in this fam needs to appreciate my comedy genius Tess: Your little brother will if you ever get your arse here Tess: Do you want food ordered before I go? Ali: Can always rely on his toilet humour Ali: Hmm Ali: Hold on Ali: Get us pizza, pleaseeeeeeee Tess: your new love ain't veggie are they? Tess: Rock wants nothing but meat and cheese, of course Ali: Nah Ali: 1 meat feast for the carnivore kids, me and Ro can share a veggie Ali: assuming she's there Tess: She is, but she said she didn't want anything Tess: Save her some though Ali: 👌 Tess: Whoever you wanna bring is fine, but check in with her, yeah? She's quiet even for her this summer Ali: Duh, of course Ali: Maybe we'll go out Ali: on the town, see a show Tess: I'd love to see your brother last 5 minutes Tess: Won't even go cinema when its 3d Ali: 😂 lock him in a cage and call it a night Ali: well, I'll think of something fun for all the fam, Ro included, don't worry Tess: Thanks Tess: I'll leave extra money in the hiding place he hasn't found yet Tess: You remember which one, yeah? Ali: trade you a clue for a song Ali: or anything else within reason Tess: Do you actually need a clue? Ali: I'm not on my best alright Ali: was a night Tess: Then you're fine to stay in with Ro tonight Tess: She'll be chuffed Ali: are we not asking again mother? Ali: sounds good though Tess: Not as much of a slug as you reckoned Ali: just using my allotted half an hour effectively Ali: only 10 mins away, like Ali: do I know how to misdirect or what haha Tess: Do you want me to make myself scarce when your soon to be ex comes in or what? Tess: I can use the 10 minutes to hide and sneak Ali: How rude Ali: This is so serious Ali: pick out your fanciest hat Tess: I'm not trying to be accused of being the one to scare them away Tess: Alright, but none of the beanies of my youth were in a fit state to be kept boxed up the loft so I'm gonna need more warning Ali: Yeah, don't actually tah, kill my street cred stone cold with your hilarious parent antics 🙄 Ali: ooh, we can go hat shopping, fun, won't that be a treat for you mumsie? 😘 Tess: That's what Ro's for. I ain't trying to break my no shopping with you rule for some sham marriage Ali: 💔 Ali: I know you're hurting but there's no need to be cruel Ali: Wish I was bringing back some 50 year old biker with a beard and tats now Ali: your 1950s housewife brain is gonna be so underwhelmed Tess: Well I wish you were in your room all summer like your sister but we can't always get what we want Ali: Preach it, Mick Ali: but you know you don't really Tess: I know I just said it Tess: Already wasting my breath don't need to waste my words like Ali: 🤐 Ali: you love the drama Ali: where would you be without me Tess: I know if you were here I'd be out of this house already Tess: I'd love that Ali: I'm coming Ali: keep ya wig on Ali: I'm within the time limit still Tess: keep it moving and you will be Tess: and put your bike away for Christ's sake Ali: 😂 Ali: i reckon if it was my bike vs your tin wagon, my bike would come out on top Ali: like my odds Tess: In a race, probably, in a game of chicken, nah Ali: the way you drive, you'd probably miss 😉 Tess: Good thing you've got your bike and your two feet then, ain't it Ali: So mean Ali: how are YOU more capable of operating a motor vehicle than me? unfair Tess: You'll get your shot soon Ali: can't wait Ali: then you'll never know where i am 😈 Tess: Watch it, kid, that's a while off but my wrath need not be Ali: yeah yeah yeah Ali: hope the pizza gets here first Ali: hank i am Tess: as a death row meal goes you could've been more extravagant Ali: you know, thinking of the mess when i exit my bowels Ali: always thinking of you, ma Tess: Cheers Ali: prepared some cracking final words tho Ali: 'course Tess: Expected nothing less like