#I've been getting comments on twitter about how people don't think he really fumbled

[seaweedraindraws]

Sir Pentious I love you but I think all of Heaven only knows you for how hard you fumbled

[two-white-butterflies]

★ — it was all yellow | carlos sainz

Description: After finding Carlos in bed with an internet starlet, you decided to break up with him. 5 years later, you meet him again.

Pairing: actress/singer!reader/carlos sainz

Trope: Secret Baby Trope

Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.

A/N: I got so many requests for this typa trope and I only got the idea now. Super sorry for the 6 month delay WAHHAHA.

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yn.ln: the vibe that we bring to the function. btw 💚 HOTDS2 is out!

liked by danielricciardo and 71,923 others

>comments

danielricciardo: Helaena Targaryen >>> - edited: Helaena Targaryen <<<

echibano82: MAN!! 😭

ynforever: the rise and fall of a midwest princess is my fav album of urs

formula.unoworld: sainz fumbled a baddie

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because.official: Carlos and Pinon 😘❤️ #MyHeart

liked by carlossainz55 and 6,293 others

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foreveryoung78: Wake up Carlos the fatherhood allegations are strong today

solonglondon: U ever heard of a boy named Pablo Sainz? 😳

bestfriendsfw: miss Because...go and tell ur mans - landofanbase: HER NAME ALWAYS TAKES ME OUT 😭 WHY IS HER STAGE NAME "BECAUSE"

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WHO IS CARLOS SAINZ'S NEW GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE...

Brezziana Aziza, whose stage name is Because has gained fame because of her relationship with Formula One Driver Carlos Sainz Jr. Previously known on social media as an influencer who vlogs about her daily life, netizens began to call her "Because" well because of her excessive use of that word.

Although she has stopped using that word since, the name has stuck. She is currently under fire for visiting a Shein Factory in China. For more details please click this link: Shein sent American influencers to China.

>comments

becauseunitedfanbase: she's so funny n quirky i get it why carlos loves her

breatheinlouder: if pablo does belong to sainz, brezziana broke a family up - corduroy8chan: the family broke because sainz allowed it to be broken, she's homewrecker because...? - becauseunitedfanbase: more like home renovator

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Just an Inchident (Charles L., Max V., Lando N., Carlos S.)

Carlos Sainz holy shit guys did you see twitter

Charles Leclerc Yeah man Is it real?

Lando Norris i did some research and this kid's 6-4 yrs old there's a chance mates

Carlos Sainz how am i even supposed to ask her? it was so awkward when it ended i totally regret doing that to her but im so happy with because now

Charles Leclerc There's a fat chance that the kid is yours man

Lando Norris ask her like a civilized man dude i saw a reel where someone asked her if pablos yours

Max Verstappen Who uses reels mate? 🤣 2 reacted 🤣

Lando Norris well she avoided the question silence means yes if you aren't the father she'd answer it

Carlos Sainz maybe she wants to torture me

Charles Leclerc She's a good person man I don't think that she'll do that Plus she's above using her son for leverage

Carlos Sainz and how do you know that Charles? we haven't spoken to her in years

Max Verstappen She grabs coffee with Victoria on Tuesdays I've actually known about Pablo for a while now

Carlos Sainz 👍🏻 2 reacted 🤣

Max Verstappen 👍🏻 .

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yn.ln: i want a velaryon burial #HOTDS2

liked by 93,192 others

>comments

danielricciardo: the camera quality sucks just letting you know - yn.ln: thanks! i have eyes btw

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yn.ln: A lot of you wanted to comment and ask questions about my son, and I never really posted about him because I'm not like those parents who use their kids on social media for likes and clout.

Five years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, Pablo L/N (09/12/18) and every day has been filled with laughter and warmth 🦋 he was not a secret, but I tried to keep his life private. Now, a lot of people feel like they have the right to know everything about him. What he looks like. Who his father is. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter.

You don't have the right to his face. You don't have the right to know about his family life because it doesn't concern you and it never will.

Thank you so much to my friends!! @danielricciardo @rileykeough #DakotaJohnson and #ChrisMartin

liked by 1,239,901 others

>comments

danielricciardo: ❤️

rileykeough: 🥺 i love you and p

victoriaverstappen: We love you! - yn.ln: thank you vic, playdate with luka and lio soon? - victoriaverstappen: Absolutely!

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good morning Dessie.

This is Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist, Daniel Kirkman, in light of the rumors between my client and Miss Y/N L/N we humbly request the truth about Pablo L/N's paternity in order to legally and publicly clear things up. Speaking as your old friend, these past few months have been stressful both physically and mentally. Even if there's a sliver of hope that the kid is Carlos' please update me.

Warm regards, Daniel Kirkman.

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

Good afternoon Mr. Kirkman.

I can see that the years have hardly changed you, you still have horrible email etiquette. Because we are old friends, I spoke to Y/N. Truth is, the things that I'm going to share today will ruin your client's reputation if our emails are ever leaked. Remember the fallout of 2018? We both celebrated New Years in Y/N's Santa Monica House.

Actually, New Years was the day we found out that she was pregnant. Not a doubt in our hearts that the baby was Carlos'. We were about to tell him but the moment we landed in Ibiza, she saw Carlos in bed with Brezziana. (I refuse to call her Because!! BECAUSE it is confusing and preposterous.)

I think that hiding Pablo from his father wasn't right, but I don't blame her for doing it. As for the paternity test, Y/N agreed but the team will come back to you with the legalities and such. As a 'friend' I want to tell you that the best Carlos is ever going to have is him paying child support and seeing the child once or twice a month.

Y/N has a lot of lawyers, more than we do friends. And judging by Carlos' personality, I don't think that he'll fight for his son.

Warm Regards, Destiny Bumgarner

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good evening Destiny! What makes you think that Y/N's going to win the legalities? + I never expected you to reveal all of this via chat. You sure that I won't betray you?

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

I got dealt with the winning hand now Dan.

I know you're smart enough not to doubt me. :)

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

All is fair in connections and clientele?

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

All is fair in life, Dan.

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oliviacooke: sorry for drinking your juice hun. 📸 pablo l/n

liked by 283,192 others

>comments

yn.ln: haha thanks for carrying his bags liv

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There are only two things. Truth and lies.

Truth is indivisible, hence it cannot recognize itself; anyone who wants to recognize it has to be a lie.

The past that you've tried to bury has slowly began to reveal itself. Maybe it was your fault, you aren't sure...

Carlos Sainz was a horrible man. He cheated on you. He didn't apologize. He admitted that another woman made him happier. Was there something special about her? A simple internet starlet with no proper claim to fame made him feel more alive.

"You've got to face him anyways." Dakota placed a glass of wine on the coffee table. "Pablo isn't his. He doesn't even look like him." you shook your head, unable to accept the inevitable truth.

"I've read all the posts on Twitter, they don't think that I have the right to push my son away from his father. Carlos is immature, I don't think that he's even capable of being a father." you scoff, taking a sip.

Haven't you given your son everything that he needed? An iPad, a big house, private education, and vacations in all the nice places.

"Two wrongs don't make a right." Destiny breathed.

"- from what Kirkman says, Carlos has changed. I don't encourage you to be romantic partners or even best friends, but please be civil for Pablo. Please let him have a civil relationship with his father." she added. "I hate it when you're right." you looked away.

You've seen his posts. You've seen his interviews.

There wasn't a bone in his body that screamed mischievousness anymore. He looked tame. Happier.

He achieved all of that without you, and maybe you could be that too.

You can be everything without him too.

"So you'll talk to him?" Dakota asked.

"I'll give it a try." I relented.

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Look at the stars.

Look how they shine for you.

The music played in the background as you sashayed your way into the VIP section of your friend's restaurant. Destiny was an angel enough to close shop and ensure that your privacy was protected especially in these vulnerable moments.

A sigh escapes your mouth, hearing that song in the background. As much as you adored Chris Martin, this song was getting in your feels.

You take a sharp turn, halting once you see his figure.

The very same man that shattered your world in Ibiza. The very same man that looked you in the eyes while he admitted that someone else made him much much happier than you, his fiancee.

And it was called Yellow.

"Thank you so much for being here, Y/N." your name sounded soft on his lips. Behind his brown eyes, there was sorrow - not to be confused with regret because he looked better than he ever was. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" you chuckled.

While nothing about you has changed.

Carlos has changed drastically.

"Destiny told me about the emails. Your team wanted a paternity test, right? You don't need it, Pablo is yours." you decided to be straightforward, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth.

You could feel that bitterness on your throat, like tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes, like you just swallowed a pill and forgot to drank water afterwards.

"Uhh - I found out on New Years day, and I wanted to tell you in Ibiza." you didn't bother to continue the story. He knows what you mean.

For you I'd bleed myself dry.

"I'm sorry, really sorry for not being a man. I know that we were about to get married, and I got scared. I was 24 years old, everyone was telling me that I had another life ahead of me. I was young. I wanted to ruin my life. I-I shouldn't have brought you with me." he apologized, trying to find the words that could articulate his feelings.

This was all that you needed from him.

An apology.

"When Destiny found out, she grabbed me by the ear. Told me that I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve you. I believe her, and I want to do everything to make it up to you and Pablo." he promised, but there were still words unsaid - the turn of his brows telling you that he wasn't willing to return back to normal.

That he still loves Because more than he's ever loved you.

"Do you love her?" you smiled bitterly. Your smile.

Look how they shine for you.

"I betrayed both of you that night. She didn't know that we were dating. She didn't know who I was. I apologized to her and she forgave me, but I realized a few years after that I should've apologized to you too." he admitted. "- I love her, really."

You knew that he wasn't lying.

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destinybumgarner: this is the PINK PONY CLUB

liked by 712 others

>comments

yn.ln: WAHAHAH IM JUST HAVING FUN

danielkirkman: crowns c / o pablo the prince

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part two

A/N What driver or actor should we pair reader with? 😭 comment to get tagged

[momentomori24]

Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo

[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]

Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.

While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".

And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?

This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).

Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.

So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:

You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.

But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.

[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]

While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.

As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:

The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.

So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀

I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.

All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.

[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]

Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--

Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:

Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.

jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.

angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.

欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.

Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.

[golbrocklovely]

i saw someone on twitter seriously have a go bc snc were focusing more on their social life than their professional life. like what? thats insane. they’ve worked 24/7 for the last 10 years. they deserve to enjoy themselves for a while.

and i have to laugh. people saying theyre going to stop watching snc and laugh as their careers fumble? babes, if they depended solely on yt views for income they’d be uploading far more frequently. besides, they have 12 million followers and easily bag a million views on a video in the first 24 hours. a few dozen fans boycotting them is not going to make even an ounce of difference. but hey, if it makes you feel better, all power to you. (“you” being those fans ofc). not to mention they have investments and other business endeavours outside of youtube. your online hissy fit will do jack shit. (again, “you/your” being those fans)

:)

i think that's the thing i find so funny about this fandom. first off almost 99% of the drama is started by twitter. or at the very least they're the loudest at all times. they also think a lot of us feel the same way as them just bc it's an echo chamber over there. so when they all start calling snc out on something or think that that everyone feels the same way, they feel like they are making an impact by saying they'll leave or stop supporting if snc don't meet their demands.

and babes, if you really aren't enjoying your time here, you can go. it's fine. no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to stay. but don't expect snc to do everything you want them to do. it's just not gonna happen.

sometimes i don't get this fandom. bc look, when i was here back in 2020/21, i got some of the backlash that the boys were facing. i understood parts of it, for sure. but there was a lot, and i do mean a lot, of extra shit that went on that made it much worse. and that side of the fandom… they cried wolf too many times. you don't get to do that repeatedly and then think that snc are gonna stick around to actually hear what you gotta say.

and especially rn, what exactly are ppl pissed off about?? bc look, you wanna say you miss when they were posting a lot more, sure. i get that. i miss them posting more often too. but you gotta also realize maybe WHY they aren't posting so much. and blaming their new gfs isn't one of those reasons.

they have explained that they basically had little to no personal life at one point, that all they were doing is working. that they didn't get to spend time with their friends or gfs bc they were working so much. sam, the man that never addresses drama, is asking fans to cool it. he full on said that he was miserable a year or so ago bc of all the stress he was under. and then colby, the man that doesn't cry ever, had a full on break down in 2022. and didn't even admit it until midway thru 2023. he doesn't read comments anymore bc they get so bad sometimes. or how about that colby even stated that he didn't even want to tell this fandom that he had cancer bc he knew how everyone would react if he went bald………. what does that tell you???? that we aren't trustworthy. that snc feel the need to pull back bc we are all toxic.

at what point do we turn the mirror on ourselves and realize hey, maybe i've taken things too far??

and reality is, a LOT of this only popped up once they both got gfs. a lot of fans say those two aren't to blame or they're not upset or they don't actually want to date snc, but at the end of the day them finding someone to love was the straw that broke the camels back. and you gotta sit back and wonder why does seeing snc happy make me upset and want to leave?? (if someone reading this is one of those fans)

bc rn, i'm more into snc than i have been in a while. i want to see them happy and healthy and enjoying life. sure, colby being in his feels (or sam even) was a fun time, sure. i love me some balcony tweets. but at the end of the day, i don't want him jaded and unable to find love again. why the fuck would i wish that on someone i love dearly??? same with sam. sure. i can joke about kat and how i want her new song to tear him a new one, but i still want him to be happy. i want him to be able to move on from his relationship with her. and that's not a cut at her. no one should be stuck feeling like shit. take it from the person that has been like that for years and still really is in one way or another: i wouldn't wish heartache on my worst enemy. so why would i do that to someone i say i care about??

but back to your ask lol

yeah, the twitter fandom thinks it's all high and mighty but it lost that spark by 2022. their words mean nothing, snc have pulled back bc that side of the fandom sucks (but also bc they want a break), and now they are facing the consequences of their actions and don't like it. womp womp. there's still almost 12 million of us babes. a couple 100 of you leaving ain't gonna do shit.

[kitsuvil]

Velvet Cigarettes - Practice

♡

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In a few hours I see a notification on my phone, letting me know that Kazuha and the rest arrived so I rush to go pack my things and leave. "Hey Kokomi, Yoi, Lumine, I'm going out! I don't know when I'll be back but I thought I'd let you know just in case!" I call out while I fumble with my keys so I can lock the door from the outside.

The second I get down to the first floor and the doors come into vision, I can see the van pulled up. He wasn't lying, the van is pretty big, I was worried it wasn't going to fit us all along with their instruments, but I probably don't have to worry anymore.

"Hey guys!!" I climb into the car, taking a seat next to Xiao and his girlfriend in the back. "About time, y/n," Scaramouche rolls his eyes while poking fun at me.

"I didn't have an early notice on when you all were gonna get here, I don't want to hear it, shortie," We start driving again as we bicker in between each other, eventually turning to our phones after we've caught up with any stuff going on in our life lately.

"Wait so- Where is the band practice spot again?" I look around, only seeing deserted buildings and faraway forests through the windows.

"In the big abandoned shed I told you about, remember?" Kazuha chirps up from the front.

"You. I thought you were joking, Kazuha. Is this a kidnapping plot. Are you sure I'm safe in this van right now."

"I promise you're safe y/n, we drive here all the time when we practice before shows. It has a really great atmosphere if anything, it's a lot better than bothering the neighbors at Zuha's apartment," Albedo looks back from the passenger seat, reassuring me.

"So you're Xiao's girlfriend? I've seen you in twitter comments and I know Xiao told you about me, I'm happy to see you finally," I make conversation with Xai, who's currently sitting beside me.

"Yes, he thought it'd be a good idea to bring me along, I don't completely disagree but it was so sudden when he asked," They chuckle.

"I mean he does have that habit of completely forgetting to tell people things until the last second... From experience."

"Exactly, that's exactly how he brought me along today it was more like shoving me through the door to not be late."

"This still totally sounds like a kidnapping plot."

"Right."

"We're here!" Kazuha calls out from the front. We leave our seats and help carry the instruments into the shed. It doesn't look as bad as I expected, but still who practices in a place like this, this poor band. But I can't complain about being at the practice session of a long-time favorite band, I don't think it's registered in my brain yet, even though we've all been friends for a while already.

"Can you get the snacks I brought? They're still in the van," Chongyun calls out to me as I'm still in the back, trailing behind everyone.

"You should totally bring the alcohol and cigarettes too," Kazuha puts his hands into a praying motion, throwing all the carrying on me.

"Fuck you guys," I throw a middle finger while returning to the van. "I'll come with you!" Xinyan runs over. "Thank you, I can't believe them."

"Like I said, I will keep you safe and help out," She throws a thumbs up before grabbing the bag of drinks.

"Thank you," The two of them call out in unison when we get back inside and place the food and drinks down.

"No problem," I sit down on the ground as they set up their equipment. "We're ready for the first song, can someone turn the backing track on? It's already set to the right song, you just need to press the button," Kazuha explains while adjusting his guitar strap. "I got you," I press it while getting up and with a countdown the band starts performing the first song from their concert setlist, in a weird shed in the middle of nowhere.

"I'm getting the most expensive wine from the bag, thank you, I deserve it," I walk over to Scaramouche who's already snacking on a bag of chips. "Good luck with that one," He scoots over and pats the spot next to him, where I sit down after fumbling through the back and opening the bottle I found. "You want some?" I ask him. "Sure, why not, we brought it along for a reason," Scaramouche shrugs.

We share like half of the bottle in silence, admiring the music, before the song comes to an end. "Save some for me, I specifically wanted to try this bottle," Kazuha joins in next to us. I hand over the wine as he sits down and I munch on some salty crackers. "The song was really good, I didn't really notice anything wrong with it," I compliment. "You're right, thankfully it was a smooth run, I think that's the song we got down the best, we're probably going to struggle more on the others," Kazuha sighs. "Exactly what he said," Albedo leans down to grab a bag of the sweetest cookies ever known to man. "I still don't understand how you eat those, Albedo," Xinyan puts down her guitar and snatches the wine out of Kazuha's hand. "They give me energy, it's just like Xiao's addiction to those nasty energy drinks but in pastry form," Albedo explains.

"Monster is not nasty," Xiao crosses his arms. "I'm going to have to side with Albedo on this one, it kinda is nasty," Chongyun frowns, "It doesn't help with my vitamin imbalance it just makes it worse and it fries my brain on top of that."

"Well, you have a valid excuse, that makes sense," Xiao laughs.

"I'll go get ready for the next song," Kazuha grabs his guitar, putting it back on while he walks up to the mic.

"Testing, testing," He taps the microphone.

"Why would it suddenly stop working," Xinyan chuckles while she also returns to practice.

"Look, it's fun to do the testing shit and you can never be too careful," Kazuha smiles, looking into the mic off in his own world, almost with sparkles flying in his eyes. There's really such a beautiful feeling that comes from this band, just the atmosphere is putting me in even higher spirits.

The songs continue to pass while the drink and snack bags get emptier and emptier, all of us getting more drunk after each song.

"What if we take an extended break," I bring up the genius idea. "An extended break doing what?" Albedo looks up from the amp, messing with the bass settings.

"This,"

I hook up my phone to the speaker and turn on a certain playlist.

"IS THAT FUCKING BRITNEY SPEARS? BRITNEY BITCH?" Xinyan yells out, shocked.

"MAYBE," I yell back, turning up the volume and putting down my phone to go and grab her into a dance.

"That really was an amazing idea," She laughs.

For the next few hours until we see the sun rise, drunk off our minds, we forget about why we're here or where we are, just drinking and partying. Kazuha shreds on his guitar, improvising to play along with the songs that are on shuffle.

Chongyun, face red from just a few cans of beer is hammering at his drums, somehow keeping in rhythm with Kazuha's improvising and the songs. "I don't know the last time I saw Chongyun this drunk," Albedo laughs, tears in his eyes from silent wheezing laughter.

On the side, Xiao who apparently hauled his camera all the way here is taking photos, though I think by the next time he checks the camera he'll realize how blurry all the photos turn out. The rest of us are dancing around, heads pounding and nome of our thoughts making sense but it's okay, because we're having the time of our life.

KAZUHA'S POV

"When did y/n fall asleep?" I rub the sleep and alcohol out of my eyes, along with the water that has me soaked from head to toe because of the bucket that Xinyan and Albedo splashed on me earlier, my shirt pasted to my skin.

"Like... a while ago I think," Scaramouche gets up, trying to pound the sleep out of his head or else he would end up just like y/n. "Damn, I don't blame them, I'm not sure how I'm awake right now," I head to the drinks, knowing there's still at least one can of energy drinks left.

"We should probably pack up and head home," I take off my shirt so I don't have to feel uncomfortable the whole way home. I'm sober enough to drive myself home, but I don't know about everyone else. "Hey, how does calling uber sound? I'll pay, you don't have to worry." I suggest. "I don't mind, we'll definitely have space for everyone if we get a large uber," Albedo agrees.

"I don't know how y/n will get home though, I'm worried about waking them up and accidentally stressing them out," Chongyun frowns.

"I need to drive the van home anyway, I don't mind taking a small little stop at their dorm, I can drop them off," I assure.

"Thank you, please keep them safe Zuha," Xinyan grabs any stuff she brought.

Eventually, everyone departs and it's just me and y/n left. How to go about waking them up... "Hey, y/n, good morning?" I pat their face a little, nudging their shoulder after that doesn't work. Damn. I have no idea how to wake them up.

What if I just...

I carefully grab y/n, carrying them in bridal style to the van as I attempt to ignore their cold skin touching mine, placing them into the car so they can continue sleeping, if they wake up mid drive I'll just let them know it's fine to keep sleeping. I know which dorm number they have, I think I'll be fine to drop them off.

I play music as I drive at a low volume, almost dozing off the moment I pull up to the dorms. It's not safe to drive like this at all, I understand that much, maybe I'll just sleep in the car instead of driving home. I take a spare shirt laying around in the van, putting it on and then carrying y/n in my arms as I enter the building and use their dorm card to enter.

Room 148... 200... Here we go, 205!

I knock, waiting for a response for a good few minutes, before someone who looks like they haven't slept in days comes out. Then again, I can't be hypocritical, I don't want to know what I look like right now.

"Hello, Kokomi... Before you panic, we might've gotten too drunk and partied at practice, y/n knocked out and I thought I'd take them home,"

"If it isn't the famous Kazuha, here, come inside, you look like you're near the verge of death," She beckons.

"Is it that obvious?"

"...Yes. But anyways, here's their bed, come to the living area after you drop them off, the rest of us are still awake in there,"

I place y/n onto the bed, taking a long look at them before placing their blanket over them and turning off the lights.

I come into the living area to see Yoimiya, Lumine, and Kokomi playing card games over some tea. "I hope you guys had fun, those tweets sure sounded like it," Lumine laughs.

"Ok well, my excuse is it was y/n's idea to play a throwback playlist, they started it but we did end up having a lot of fun."

"That does sound pretty in character of them," Kokomi places a cup of tea in front of me.

"Thank you!" I take a sip and pause. "Is it okay if I let some stuff off my shoulders? I'm just not sure who to talk to about this stuff right now," I ask.

"We're happy to listen," Yoimiya sets down her cards.

"So... If you had someone you were friends with but you weren't really sure what you feel about that person, whether it's platonic or romantic, to what extent your feelings go... But your best friend told you that... They're catching feelings for them... What would you do?" I sigh, my headache growing heavier.

I really don't want to acknowledge these emotions.

this chapter was sm fun to make and i had my own throwback songs concert in my room minus the alcohol in the middle of writing this, this chapter is also on the longer side compared to others, but i hope it was still enjoyable and not a boring read!

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