#I've barely felt like reading and I've hardly been on tumblr and I just feel kind of ambivalent about everything

[sentientcave]

Aw man

[puddingvalkyrie]

Reading massively improved my mental health and I want to talk about it in case it can help others!

Y'all, I think we all need to read more books.

I know I'm an author so I WOULD say that and in fact, I DO say that to children at every opportunity (my dyslexia would be a LOT worse if I hadn't read so much as a kid) but hear me out.

So back in ...March/April I was pretty miserable and it was partly because Norwegian winter will do that to an unprepared foreigner but also because it was the anniversary of The Bad Thing so I felt miserable and alone.

I had no way to really remedy the situation.

But one thing I did do was... Finally crack. See, I'd been DYING to reread my Discworld books, but they are in a different country and I can't afford to go get them or have them sent to me. I have a few paper books here though - I mainly took my fairytale collections, because what did you expect? Actually I guess hardly anyone on Tumblr knows me - Alicia does two things. Vampires. And Fairytales. Didn't bring my vampire encyclopedia, too big and heavy. Anyway.

I have a part time job with an hour on the train each way. I started taking my paper books, my fairytale collections. They were full of short things I could finish easily in a train journey.

Some info. I had managed to sour reading for myself some years previously... I mainly read for research purposes, hardly picking up anything just for the fun of it. PSA: Don't do this. Do not do this. Don't. Do NOT.

And then I reread one of the few paper fiction books I had with me. I enjoy fairytales but they do still fall under 'sort of work' for me. This did not. This was a book I am eagerly awaiting the finale to.

Anyway, I finished it quickly, reading it both on and off the train. You know. For fun. Not just fill time I was stuck somewhere.

Finishing it annoyed me. I wanted more stories. I wanted more than fairytales. And so I cracked. I bought Equal Rites as an ebook. See, I'd previously decided I would not buy anything I already owned in paperback as an ebook because... Well, waste of money, something I don't have enough of. To buy my entire discworld collection in ebook format would cost as much as getting on a plane and bringing my paper ones back.

But just ONE book would be alright, wouldn't it?

So anyway I finished the book.

Of course I'm not going to read just ONE discworld book.

So I carefully ration myself ebooks, making a condition for myself that they are mainly for the train, but I am allowed to read them at home too.

And gradually... The fog lifted. Nothing much has changed besides that I'm reading books regularly again. I still have the same problems that were upsetting me in March. I was also HORRIBLY BURNED OUT until last week. But my mood is MASSIVELY improved. Like, hugely improved. And yeah, yeah, it's summer now, so the weather will have helped also. But I can pinpoint my recovery to when I started reading regularly again. And that is to say that while I was burned out, I wasn't ALSO sad.

So from now on I will be making an effort to keep reading books for fun.

It's kind of crazy that I had stopped for so long. I mean. I write books people are supposed to read for fun. Kinda hypocritical of me to like.. not do that.

I think maybe I have created this problem for myself with many of my hobbies. I tried to make drawing into a business, tried to do too much too fast, and since then I've barely drawn. I love cartoons so I watch them in Norwegian to help me learn - means I was never just relaxing while watching a cartoon for a few years. Recently started just watching cartoons in English/Japanese if I darn well feel like it.

...enough tangent, back to Why Reading Is Good.

Don't quote me on this, I am just scribbling down thoughts I've been meaning to write down for a month, therefore, am too lazy to track down any sources, but I'm pretty sure reading books is actually scientifically proven to help your brain?? I seem to remember reading your hippocampus shrinks if you don't exercise your brain enough and reading long stories does that. And a shrinking hippocampus causes depression?? I don't know anything much about brains and psychology so I must have read that somewhere.

I think a hippocampus is also like... A horse mermaid.

Again, no source, might be thinking of something from Mermaid Melody.

I'mma go read more of my current book now. It's a history book this time.

Yay books!

[laurusik]

,, SHOW ME YOU'RE SHAMELESS,,

Neteyam x navi-fem reader

WARNINGS : smut, p in v, Dom!Neteyam, breeding kink, possesivnes, dirty talk, hair pulling, choking /hope I didn't forget anything

Also this is my first ever story let alone smut I've tried my best but English is not my first language :3 hopefully it's at least readable

SUMARRY: There is an old tradition in the na'vi culture when a man in order to mate with a woman has to hunt her down

(I saw it somewhere here on Tumblr but couldn't find the autor rn)

Neteyam absolutely stunning by @cinetrix <33

SIDE NOTE: I would advise you to listen to Camila Cabello shameless or animals by Maroon 5 when reading this;)

Requests are open so...

There are inches in between us I want you to give in

"Run" the word that he uttered was now roaming around every corner or your skull as your feet were hitting the ground. Your lungs expanding more and more with each breath you took. It was like you're running for your life. Maybe you were, maybe not, it almost seemed that you wanted to get caught. You were craving the things he will do once he catches you.

All you could focus on was the echo of your light footsteps and heavy breathing. Screeching sounds were coming from above. You just happened to brush a leaf out of your face as you looked back and saw him tracing directly behind you.

"Can't run from me forever love" he giggled at your efforts, your legs were certainly much shorter well of course he was a warrior this was like nothing for him.

Completely out of your breath you could taste the metallic taste of blood in your mouth and your legs were slowly giving out.

On the other hand Neteyam was getting impatient like a predator hunting it's pray. He wanted to hunt you down and eat you alive.He could smell you no he could feel you. With every breath he took he filled his lungs with your pheromones.

You couldn't run any longer this has been going on for an hour already, just as you slowed down you felt a harsh tug at your hair. Your body hit the floor and your head hurt from the impact with the mossy ground.

,, Got ya,, you frowned and look up at Neteyam having the most sadistic grin on his face, his pupils completely dialeted leaving only a tiny yellow ring behind.

"Right you caught me but this wasn't even fair!" you locked your arms around your chest as you were trying to process what happened.

"No my love, you were the one who wanted to do this" he laughed as he pulled you up from the ground. His appearance was quickly changing from the soft Neteyam who would never hurt to this animal who's only goal was to devour you whole.

Neteyam took quick strides towards you. With every step he took forward you stepped one away. Your bare back hit a tree trunk it's rough bark scratching the sensitive skin

. "N-neteyam" you stuttered as his hot breath was fanning right across your face. "Hmmmm" he looked completely delusional high off your pheromones and so were you of his. His prominent musky smell making you crave every inch of him.

" Nete p-lease" "Please what?" he hummed "Use your words princess". He slid his strong arms to your thighs with a gentle pat signalizing you to jump.

"Please what!" he growled "don't let me fucking repeat myself" He was not willing to give you the attention you so much craved until you asked for it.

His hand came up to your neck gripping your throat, all that you let out was a hoarse cry "Ngh Please touch me Teyam" a deep growl rumbled his chest at your words. He released his tight grip on your neck as he slowly kissed his way up to your ear gently licking the shell "good girl" his praises were like music to your ears making you hotter by the second.

He move his kisses to your neck and roamed his hands all over your body making you whimper and beg for more. His touches were so light and lingering everywhere just not where you wanted them the most.

"Tease" you huffed grabbing his jaw and kissing him hardly with brushing force. He chuckled kissing you back. You gently tugged at the base of his kuru, he stopped for a moment to look you in the eyes "Are you sure you wanna be stuck with me forever?" "Fuck yes"

Neteyam smiled and took your kuru from behind your back looking into your your eyes as you nodded he gently pulled them together. As the purplish glowing tendrils interwived together you felt all of him all of his desire to breed you and have you bear his child, his deep love for you and he did the same.

The feeling so overwhelming your hearts very beating so fast you could feel the thumping under your skin. It was like the oceans mixing together, it was like the perfect fit. You were made for each other and now you were just his and he yours.

All you wanted to do was touch every inch of his body to calm the overwhelming sensation of everything swirling inside you.

"You want it do you?" he asked in between kisses. All you could do was let out a pathetic whine and arch your back into him almost lifting it of the tree fully.

"I-I want you inside me " you finally choked out the words he was dying to hear so long his hand slowly reaching your loincloth and and rubbing gentle circles on your thighs inching closer and closer to your wet core.

His touch was like a burning hot iron making you whirl under him closing your thighs on him "Keep them fucking open if you don't want me to stop" he growled so deeply it send vibrations thru out your entire body. He forcefully opened up your thighs holding them with do much force they will definitely leave bruises.

He started rubbing slow tight circles into your clothed clit making you squirm and your whimpers turn louder.

"God yes Teyam please ngh" you were clawing at his back leaving creasant shaped marks or your nails behind

His fingers slowly picking up the pace making you scream his name "Come on come for me I know you can do it be a good girl for me"

His words were setting your body ablaze you could feel that familiar knot tightening in your stomach

"Ah NTEYAM ! "all you could do was pathetically scream his name his words driving you closer to your finish making the coil snap

"I-I'm cumming nghh" you threw your hands around his shoulders squirting all over his lower abdomen

"Shh that's it good fucking girl" His hands snaked around your back ripping your loincloth in half and throwing the unusable scraps of cloth to the ground. He did the same with his revealing his hard cock jumping at the rate of his heartbeat making you gulp. "You want this do you" he said lowly kissing your neck. You only nodded

"Let me hear you say it" he hummed slowly stroking his length

"Yes-s please I need it so bad Teyam" those words only coming out like a choked mess making him feral.

He circled your enterace with his angry red tip twitching begging to feel you around him.

He latched onto the delicate skin of your neck piercing the skin with his fangs drawing blood. You whimpered the sensation so overwhelming you could see stars. He gently come off with a pop and licked of the tiny drop of blood falling from the fresh wound.

He looked at you thru lidded eyes staring right thru out your entire being making you dizzy his predatory gaze watching you intently as you squirmed in his grasp.

He suddenly plunged into you won't no warning making you gasp. He gave you no time to adjust to his girthy cock thrusting into you at a fast pace making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

"Look at my sweet girl, taking my cock so well. Gonna breed you hm? Fill you up-shit! Fill you up with my cum, pretty girl"

Your heat clenches erratically on his length his words only adding up to the pleasure owerflowing your entire being.

"Oh, I felt that y/n." he laughs mockingly "You want me to fill you up with my cum till your all round with my child?" His words are excentuated with a hard thrust.

"Yes, yes want you" you blabber nonsensically. Your core insanely tight the coil about to snap at any moment his words only drawing you closer.

"N-nete I'm gonna cum" your words hardly coming up do to your throat being so dry "Come on baby, do it come on my cock"

His words like a sharp tug getting you over the edge as you come all over yourself and his abs only stuttering out nonsense coming out of your mouth.

With a few more thrusts his hips come to a halt as you feel his seed pooling into your empty vomb making you feel euphoric. He rides out both of your orgasm and pulls out throwing your leg over his shoulder

"Look at this, a fucking masterpiece" he darkly chuckles as he plunges the excess seed leaking out of you back in. "My personal cum dump".

Ehm I'm not even sure how I did with this but definitely tell me your opinion on this. I felt like the ending was a bit rushed I will try to work on that

Also there si probably gonna be a lot of grammatical errors cuz I'm a lazy bish so I didn't proof read

Neteyam is just fine af

[oyasumi-ashurii]

Okay, so it might be a little hard for me to cohesively put all my thoughts and feelings into why I care so much about Final Fantasy VIII, but because of the 25th anniversary and seeing a lot of you talk about your love of the game I'll try the best I can. So here's my embarrassingly and extremely long personal history with the game and why it will always be my favorite.

Before FF8 I was mostly a Nintendo kid. Mario and Zelda were all I really knew, and as a hyperactive as I was I didn't really have the patience for anything story-heavy that took a lot of reading. Though I did I get a PlayStation later on I hardly bothered with anything other than Spyro or Crash. Anything similar in graphics to FF7 or 8 was mostly foreign to me too, with maybe the closest being my cousin having the first Resident Evil and I was far too young and too scared to bother with anything like that. So you can imagine the complete and utter shock kid me had going to my uncle's and seeing him play FF8 for the first time. I don't think it had been out too long but he was already on disc 3 in Esthar and, bless his soul, he let me play his save for a while. Being able to fly around the map on the Ragnarok?? The realistic proportions and animations in battle?? The absolute BANGER of a soundtrack?! All of it had me excitedly begging my parents to buy me the game. Nine year old me didn't know roman numerals, though, just that it was called Final Fantasy with some weird lettering. I had no idea of Final Fantasy as a series and I didn't know it was the eighth game or that there were eight of them at all. I couldn't remember what the cover looked like either and my uncle not long after that was going through his own personal troubles so I wasn't able to visit or ask him. We didn't have internet at home until the early 2000s (it was AOL dial-up too, jesus, I don't miss that) and my parents were strict about internet use, so I was stuck. My dad did eventually buy me an FF game as a surprise when I was eleven, and lmao can you believe I was genuinely upset because it was Final Fantasy VII?! That being said, I have an INSANE amount of love and respect for 7. Considering how much easier I think the materia system is to understand for newcomers, having it as my first, full FF experience was a bit of a blessing lol. FF7 hit me in a different way than 8 did, and maybe I'll make a post about it sometime.

So other than the brief times on the internet (I was only allowed on for an hour or two before I was kicked off) and reading gaming magazines I had hardly any access or knowledge about FF8 until years later. I knew the characters briefly and read some small stuff here and there about the world, but that was it. Even so, I STILL loved it. I would draw them (I've drawn most of my life, and I still do occasionally as a fun hobby), write about what I thought they were like, so, so much of me embarrassingly obsessing over it and driving my small group of friends in school bonkers (oh lordy I just remembered my preteen username I had used on an FF forum and now I'm cringing.) You get it. So why did I cling to the game so much, even though I barely played it? Why did it mean so much to me? Because around the time I was twelve I was deeply depressed, and throughout my middle school and early high school life video games and their stories were the only joy and comfort I had. I'm not going to go into much detail because it feels too personal to write on tumblr about and I'd rather not think back too much. If you want the gist it was at a moment in time I was mostly on my own. I felt isolated and alone, and due to growing up in and around strict, conservative circles I struggled with feeling far behind my peers, so my personal and school life suffered. Things got better though and I'm happy in my life now, so that's really it.

As I got a little older I had played other FF's and RPGs in between that I also fell in love with (especially Kingdom Hearts) and funnily enough horror games, but I still didn't get my hands on 8 until I got it on my fifteenth birthday and I was over the moon. That night and many nights and weekends after that I played every single bit of that game. I had printed walkthroughs and a guide of the junction system, with overly-detailed notes I had scribbled down and highlighted. I had written down all the rules of triple triad, weapon upgrades, item refinements and what you get from monsters, side-quests, all of it. I had never went all in into a game before, but I did it because I wanted to experience the game that gave preteen me comfort everything it had to offer. And I remember vividly when I finished it I cried until I was almost out of breath.

But you know, I didn't get emotional because of the nostalgic school-like feel and inspired real-world setting, or the overall main plot with magic, sci-fi and sorceresses. It wasn't even the deeply interwoven love stories, the theme of fate or the gameplay either, though I grew to love all of those things dearly with time.

It was because I was a socially-awkward and lonely fifteen year old girl that watched an equally as awkward seventeen year old boy overcome his own deeply-rooted fears and trauma and come out at the end of it all on the path to healing.

And I knew I'd be okay, and ever since then this game has and will always be that reminder and comfort for me.

Thanks for reading.

[snaillock]

I totally understand how you feel, I've been feeling similar for months. I feel like people in the bllk fic part of the fandom on Tumblr has gotten so much less.... responsive? I rarely get fun tags or feedback and you know how often people send requests without reading my rules. It's become tiring.

I saw that in general, fanfic readers have become more silent and reblog less, comment less and give less feedback, no matter what fandom :( it's so sad because the whole reason to share fics is to bond with others who enjoy the same stuff. Bllk tumblr felt so different a year ago.

Take your time and return whenever you feel like it. Even if you just come here to post and reblog stuff that's not your fics, it's always nice seeing you on my dashboard :3

And remember. If snaillock has 100 fans im one of them‼️‼️ if snaillock has 10 fans im one of them‼️‼️ if snaillock has 1 fan thats me ‼️‼️ if snaillock has 0 fans i am dead‼️‼️

oh my god you get it you fucking get it!!

it’s so nice to see other people agree and relate to this. i would see fics in the blue lock fandom posted a long time ago and all the nice tags in the reblogs. it was so cool to see genuine discussion and commentary from the readers. it really makes me wish i started writing way back when.

i remember it would genuinely upset me whenever i posted a lazier piece with a simple format and it would get so many likes especially way more compared to the other stuff i would actually put my love and effort in. even then there was barely any meaningful interactions.

and you’re so right it doesn’t feel like sharing a mutual love for something cool anymore. it just feels so shallow now and has been for a while. maybe people aren’t seeing fanfics as a something someone put their heart into and instead as something to consume then move on to the next. no shade but you can definitely tell by what type of fics are always at the top.

it really sucks bc i just want a community to share to and there’s hardly any here.

man i really appreciate you mao!!!! you’re one of my greatest mutuals. i hope people start learning how to read so you can actually requests that don’t blatantly break your rules for once.

but i gotta say its always so fucking funny whenever someone breaks your rule and requests fem reader so you just change it into a trans or lesbian reader. i love it so much i can’t imagine their reaction.

[upthetracks]

1/1/24

I think maybe this is a diary for myself. Not a good or useful one. I never write here and I never remember to read these a second time. But I did just now, and everything is coming back bitter, and I'm standing in my kitchen not eating with an old familiar feeling in my chest and I don't want to write in a useful or good way I just want to talk to someone and I can't. So I come crawling back to this time capsule. A whole year since the last time, a year and change. And I have things to grieve that I haven't let myself, lonely things so I'm sorry for the length.

I'm not calling myself Isaac. But recently I mustered the will to start letting people call me by a new name, instead of calling to myself quiet in phone notes and a hidden tumblr. When new people ask my name I tell them I'm Ira. Ira. I think for now I like it. It felt really stupid the first few times. It did feel forced like I expected. But I was sick of caring whether it felt stupid. It is a name that sounds a bit like my first name. It's a name that I feel could belong to a man or a woman. I like how it sounds, I am taking a liking to being Ira.

I spent about a year loving, and half-loving, and trapped with, and happily bound up with one of the dearest friends I've ever had. In the spring when it was still cold, we left thesis early. We met later on our apartment balcony in the dark, smoked. It is so distant now, but she asked if she could kiss me. It was a moment of honesty and it felt surreal. Still, she is gorgeous and enigmatic and I could hardly believe her when she told me how she felt. She kissed me so gentle and sweet. I wasn't scared, she held me and went slow. It was soft, my first kiss. And then it was hard and hungry. We had been joined at the hip all the last year of school. One day she cut herself too deep and I dropped everything and rushed home. I called a medic friend who helped patch her up. We went to the hospital together and sat through the doctor's questions, silent and refusing to tell him the truth. I took a leap of faith. I thought, I love her already, I've loved her at her worst days, I'll always be there. I'm ready for us to be us together. That year was hard for her. Often she was sunk into depression. She flayed herself with her own words. I wish I could say I was only loving, but it made me angry to watch. Time expanded around me. I worked. I drifted through weeks and months and months. I was aimless, I fell apart from friends, I did not read, I did not create, I did not set out into the world. I distracted myself, I grew numb, the days grew monotonous, I didn't have words, I felt dull and half awake. I starved myself and then forgot how to even feel hungry. I can barely remember that year. I remember a smothering closeness that was heaven and hell, not so dramatic as that I suppose. But she became the only sweetness in my life, and I watched her hate herself so loudly, and I didn't love her well because I didn't know how, or I was scared, or I was too numb. We lost the closeness we used to have, the passion. When the next spring came, she told me she had fallen out of love. I was still clinging.

June was hard. I watched her laugh on the balcony with new flings, new friends, and then fall in love while I still had flashes of seeing her and being bowled over by affection. I got a call someday that month that a friend had been found lying dead somewhere on the south side. Mell. If anyone finds this, you didn't know him. My friends didn't know him. Now I am the only one in my life who did, and what do I do to honor his memory except be haunted by his name now and then at work, at the bus stop, in the stairwell, looking up at the old window to his room on the corner. When I met him, it was the spring of 22 I think. I was wearing a new shirt and shoes, and he was outside of Koppa's asking for ten bucks. I told him I'd run home since I live so close, never done that for someone before. Kept seeing him around, then he moved into the white house on the corner. Used to be a squat house and subsidized living way back then, before they flipped it and kicked everyone poor and struggling back on the streets. That whole forgotten year, that whole span of numbness and barely living I'd sit on his porch and talk a while, or he'd invite me over. Used to make me nervous because who was I to be there in folks' space. Grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth, who was I. It's ugly and it kills me now but I'd avoid him. Walk away from being roped into conversation, take a different street. His requests for cash would grate on me. But when he had me over, it was always warm, and I always warmed up. He could make anyone laugh, could crack a smile on anyone' s face. He was living ok there, had his bed and some food and a stove to cook on. Made me fried steak once, spaghetti another time. We'd walk sometimes. Once in the summer he stopped me from running into a pole, and then stopped me from walking in front of a car - he said watching me walk I'd always be looking up in the trees, everywhere I didn't need to. Now I try to walk and keep my eyes around me, be a little less airheaded. I can't help but think I coulda saved him if I did more, gave more, actually cared enough to do what needed doing and really sacrifice something for once. The last time we talked, it was sunny out. We sat on the bench outside, the painted-blue one. I ran him some deodorant I had in my bathroom. He showed me a flyer for a place he might be able to get, asked if I could help with part of the down payment I said yeah I think so. Never crossed my mind there'd be a last time I saw him. I always saw him, he always came around. I think it was a comfort to him to have something of a friend in me. He was a balm in all that lonely emptiness too. He was life itself, endless energy, endless jokes. I told myself after his funeral, remember that. Keep him alive by being some sunlight for whoever around you needs some. I don't know if I been practicing that. I mostly been trying to avoid the grief, but maybe that can be part of this new year.

[lizzienaut]

leaving the community

oh man, hardly thought i’d see the day when this would happen. i’m not really sure where to start this post to be honest, so apologies in advance for having to read my poorly thought out ramblings.

for those that don't wanna read, the tl;dr = i'm furthering myself from the sfw community, this blog is going on a permanent hiatus, you can find me @buntopiia or @kinkynaut if youre 18+, im just generally unhappy and tired here but im so grateful for all of the support and all the super cool friends i made here <33 its not goodbye forever!!

it’s been a good run, hasn’t it? but then again, it’s not like im going away completely — i'm still gonna be active on tumblr, just not in the sfw side of the tickle community. i'll also be active on my new main, which is @buntopiia, so if you aren't 18+ or just arent comfy with nsfw content, you can still find me there if you ever wish to talk.

so here comes the nitty gritty of it all; i just don't enjoy being here anymore. im sure its super apparent to everyone that the sfw community is always on the brink of tearing itself apart, barely being held together by its seams - and to be honest, i'm just completely over it. it seems that we can't go a day here without someone getting death threats or being told to kill themselves over the way they perceive their interest in tickling, which is such a stupid fuckin sentence to type out, but here we are.

the rampant hatred everyone seems to have for each other is draining. and this isn't about the anons that i've gotten specifically- i found those funny more than anything (i'm still a slut well denizen at heart), but a whole slew of other things as well. the constant drama feels reminiscent of high school, and come to think of it, it's probably because the sfw community is filled mainly with minors. mostly ones who don't know how to cultivate their own online experience and blame the adults for it, but i digress. every callout post is just a reminder of how toxic and shitty the sfw side of the community can be. lots of people hide behind the "sfw" title to seem innocent and approachable. lots of people demonize the nsfw community for everything that happens here. but in all honesty, when's the last time you've seen any big drama from the nsfw community?

lots of people stay in their own little bubble there, curating their own content and reblogging from each other solely. i find that (most) adults are very good at following their dni criteria and keeping minors away, even if they don't listen. and the fact that the kinksters are so harshly spoken about by the sfw community is another major factor as to why i'm leaving.

i have a tickle fetish. i see tickling as something both nonsexual in platonic scenarios and sexual in romantic ones (in my own life, of course). hearing people constantly saying having a fetish is gross or vile or whatever is genuinely upsetting, which is why i was in denial about it for the longest time. i felt disgusting for it. i was so ashamed and terrified of people finding out, because i thought it would make me some kind of "pervert" or something, which also sounds incredibly stupid when i type it out.

like seriously, this is a post about tickling. the fact that we have drama and community politics over here is the dumbest shit i've ever heard lmfao

but yeah. i feel safer in the nsfw community than i do here now. i'll post the occasional fluffy tickle art on my main, but other than that, all of my content will be posted onto my kink account. and you're more than welcome to interact with my main!! you dont even need to be on anon or a main yourself, im more than okay with tickle blogs interacting with me. it isnt something im ashamed of anymore, and being in the nsfw community has helped me overcome that fear. being unabashedly kinky is extremely freeing, tbh.

its been fun and ive seriously enjoyed my time here with you guys <33 again, i'm not gone completely! i'm just distancing myself from the "sfw" brand and moving on to other things. thank you for everything <3

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

The Storm

Summary: You work with Jack Crawford and Alana is your cousin, both of you live together for a long time. She gets caught up with a flat tire far away and asks you to let Will in, for he's expecting her. A storm is coming, and she keeps taking longer and longer to show up. Will the universe conspire in your favor?

Pairing: Will Graham x reader

Warnings: swearing, insinuation of smut, fluff.

Word count: 4.328

A/n: I'm starting to consider changing this tumblr for a Hannibal one, mostly Will Graham, so some requests from other fandoms would be nice haha hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing ♥️

*not my gif

There wasn't a thing such as a boring day at the BAU. 

At least not when you're part of Jack Crawford's crew. There was always an interesting case to focus on, a disfigured body to study the reason of death, it was always a thrilling hunt for evidence. The best experience I've ever had so far in my career, and I could only thank my cousin Alana for putting me on the Guru's radar. I was a great crime scene investigator, albeit a little younger than people gave me credit for. I taught people not to underestimate me over the years, though. I got here by my own effort, being a tenacious, hard-working woman who wouldn't get a no for an answer. 

I got along well with my crewmates, Beverly Katz, Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price, though our relationship hardly extended for life outside work. Except for Beverly, we went out for a couple of beers sometimes, she was fun, witty and I really liked our conversations. Jack was the big boss, and that was it. I had a lot of respect for him, and I knew he didn't regret bringing me to his team, I could see it in his eyes in the first case I've got. I was very cunning when I shared my insights about the cases, sometimes I saw things no one else could, no one but…

Of course, I was far, far away from being a Will Graham. But ever since I was younger, I've had this sort of intuition that helped me to solve problems, I would solve riddles easily and when people asked me how I got to the answer, I wouldn't know the steps, I just knew deep in my bones I was right. That happened a lot when I was growing up and was even stronger now that I knew how to use it. It was some artifice of my inconscient, something I could always count on. It included everything in my life, math, logical thinking, riddles. My brain picked things I couldn't perceive clearly, bringing them to the clear waters of my conscience. 

Will Graham was a curious man. He intrigued me from the very first moment I saw him at the house of one of the last victims of The Minnesota Shrike, Garret Jacob Hobbs, now dead. He was practically hiding in a corner, his eyes closed behind the lens of his glasses, dark wavy hair, jawline for days. He seemed highly focused until Beverly started to talk to him, pulling him out of his daze. He could barely look at her, or at me, and although he looked socially awkward and troubled, he still managed to look like a daydream. I studied every inch of his face, lowering my gaze when he seemed to get uncomfortable, after smiling lightly. I was a bit shy myself. I lived with Alana and, when I got home that night, I absentmindedly asked her about that curious handsome man who seemed to be out of place, yet so connected to that scene. She started to talk about him, but stopped once she noticed my interest. Then, she told me he was a very unstable person, that she wouldn't even be alone in the room with him because of her professional curiosity. As time passed and he solved more and more cases, I could see how people looked at him like an attraction of the zoo. However, not me, and later, not Beverly. Brian didn't seem to like him very much, I could see. Envy, perhaps? Nevertheless, the more I saw Will, the more intrigued I got. He avoided eye contact like the plague, but as I was always friendly and tried my best to treat him like a normal person, not focusing only on work, dead bodies and serial killers, I saw more of those beautiful blue eyes. He knew I was Alana's cousin, and I sooner realized he had a fling for her. 

And boy, did that break my silly little heart. I wasn't surprised, though. Who could blame him? Alana was amazing. I never felt resentful for that, but as time passed, I started to detach from the idea of Will being somewhat more than a simple acquaintance. That afternoon, I was going home from work when I got a call from Alana.

"Speak fast, I'm driving." I said, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding my phone.

"You're going home? Great. I invited Will so we could talk about a profile I'm building, but I got caught up here. I already spoke to him, he's almost there, can you let him in? He said he'll wait, and I'll be home in about fifty minutes, no more than that, hopefully." She said in a hurry, and I felt my cheeks burn a little. Will and me? Home alone? 

"I…" I hesitated, chewing my bottom lip nervously. "You won't be long, right? Heard on the radio there’s a storm for later."

"I won't, promise. Just let him in, he's already aware I'll take a little longer to be there. See you soon. Thanks, Y/n!" She hung up, not leaving me any time to answer. I put the phone down, still chewing on my bottom lip. I could feel excitement rising on my stomach, making me feel slightly nauseated, and noticed my hands starting to sweat.

Please. That was ridiculous. What was I, a teenager? I was a grown-up, well-succeeded woman, for God's sake. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, driving a little faster than I usually did almost unconsciously. I got home after twenty minutes, parking outside the pretty house. Will was already there, leaning against his car, so lost in his thoughts he barely noticed I'd arrived. I looked at my reflection at the mirror hurriedly, fixing my hair, pinching my cheeks to look less pale, brushing my eyebrows with my fingers to make them look neat. I wasn't even wearing any lipstick today. It had been a long day at work. 

I opened the car door, exiting the vehicle, the noise from shutting the door finally bringing him out of his daze, and he finally seemed to notice me. He smiled lightly, lowering his eyes. He had his glasses on, but as soon as he saw me, he took them off, hanging them on his shirt.

"Hey, Will. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. There was a little bit of traffic." I justified, walking to the porch and waiting for him to follow me. 

"Y/n. Not at all, I just got here. Alana explained what happened, thanks for coming to let me in. Hope I didn't ruin any appointment you may have had." He waited until I unlocked the door, and we finally were engulfed with the warm air of the heater.

"Nope, I was coming home, no appointments lost. Please, come in. I'm not sure you've ever been here before, but make yourself home." I hung my trench coat, sighing with the pleasure of being home. I loved the atmosphere of that place. "Can I get you anything? Water, soda, beer…"

"Thank you. I'm fine. And no, I haven't been here before." I held back the temptation of saying "good", biting my bottom lip as I watched him sit on the couch. I just stood there for a while, not sure of what to do next. 

He frowned a little, probably thinking why I was acting so weird, and that made me nervous, because it was just an easy step to realize my silly crush on him. Did he know? What if Alana said something? Said something? For fuck's sake, he was Will Graham, he could probably see that written across my stupid face! Shit, he knows. I'm making a fool of myself. Why do I even…

"Is everything okay?" His voice startled me a little, pulling me out of my neurotic breakdown, and I wondered how my facial expressions looked. Was I blinking only one eye like the stereotyped madness of cartoons? I certainly didn't look normal. I cleared my throat, laughing lightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm not really used to having people over anymore. I've been working a lot lately. People are dying like flies." I sat on the armchair in front of him, sighing. 

"What we do can be overwhelming sometimes. What we see every day. It just… stains you." He said, with a dark look on his serious eyes. 

I nodded. I felt that way sometimes, but I was used to it. I stopped feeling that sense of inadequacy on my chest years ago. 

"I guess you just begin to cope with it, though. Our brain adapts to that harsh reality. But it's always nice to vent somehow. What do you do in your free time?" I asked, wondering if I was getting too personal. Did I sound like I was probing to ask him out?  I felt my face getting warm. Damn it.

Either he didn't realize, or he was just too chivalrous to point, but he didn't mention anything.

"I fish." He said, simply. I nodded with a light smile.

"And you play with your doggies." I pointed, smiling wider. I loved dogs. He'd mentioned them before, so I just brought the subject up, trying to shift the attention from me to them. Will smiled back, his eyes with a subtle glow. He really loved them, and that was so sweet. "Fishing sounds nice. Unfortunately, I could never. I'm too restless. I'd probably startle all the fish and wouldn't catch anything."

He laughed, and that was the first time I ever heard that sound coming out of him. I felt like I was someone deaf that was able to hear the sound of Mozart's symphonies for the first time, and I just knew. There was never detachment from the idea of Will being more than an acquaintance. It was tackled down inside my brain somewhere, for the brain tends to adapt to harsh realities, but it was still there, just waiting for some incentive. 

"It's just a matter of training, getting used to it. I could teach you someday… if you want." He blinked a few times, as if he was surprised with his own boldness, smiling lightly. "And you? What do you do to vent?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well, I read a lot. Maybe I could read by the riverside while I watch you fish." I said, shrugging with a subtle smile.

"It's a date, then?" Will inquired, making me mortified. Caught me by total surprise, and when I was about to say something, my phone rang.

"Excuse me." I answered the phone. It was Alana. "Hey. We're already here waiting for you."

Not that I wanted her to arrive any time sooner, but she didn't have to know that.

"You won't believe me; I've got a flat tire. There's a guy helping me out, I was lucky, I'm in the middle of nowhere. But I'll get there in about fifty more minutes, more or less. Can you put Will on the phone? I'll explain everything to him."

"Do you need one of us to pick you up? I'm sure he wouldn't mind, I wouldn't…"

"No, he's almost done. Thank you. Let me talk to Will, I'll be there soon. The storm is about to catch me, I wanna hurry."

I sighed, grimacing at him. 

"She wants to talk to you." I passed him the phone, studying his expressions while he talked to her. As I looked at the window, I could see the dark clouds gathering up, making the end of the afternoon murky. The storm was about to hit hard. I could see a few thin drops of rain starting to wet the glass.

"I can stay a little longer, no problem. I'm being well attended." He traded looks with me, biting his lip slightly. "Okay. I'll see you soon, Alana."

He gave me the phone, but Alana was already gone. I put it on the coffee table, getting up.

"I think I'll pour myself some wine. Do you want some?" I asked politely. "It's one of the fanciest ones; Hannibal gave us a bottle when we dined at his house a few days ago."

"Yes. Thank you." He waited for me to come back with the beverages, and I did my best not to spill anything, sitting on the couch beside him while I gave him the glass. "So you're acquainted with Dr. Lecter?"

"Oh yeah, he's an old friend of Alana's, sometimes he invites us to dinner. He cooks the best meals I've ever had in my entire life, so I don't exactly decline the invitations. And he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, so it's always interesting." I took a sip of the crimson liquid, moaning low in pleasure. Good wine. I preferred a good cup of hot oolong, but it was impossible not to appreciate the quality of that drink. 

A few glasses after and a lot of talks about dogs, fishing and other hobbies, he finally felt safe to bring back the topic. The rain had started really pouring, the now thicker drops hitting the windows loudly. Alana hadn't called again. It was nighttime now, the sky seeming to be darker than usual. I was low-key worried about her, but the conversation was too great to interrupt. She was a good driver. She would be just fine. 

"I've been seeing Hannibal Lecter in his office. Not exactly his patient, though. A courtesy of Jack Crawford to keep an eye on the coping of my brain functions." He sounded a bit bitter, drinking a few sips of his wine.

I could see he didn't like therapy. Must be hard with someone with a mind like his.

"You know, sometimes, Alana psychoanalyses me. Like, she doesn't even notice. It's cute, but sometimes it creeps me out." 

"She has a professional curiosity about me, but she's too polite and considerate to let it slip out. We've never even been alone in the same room together."

I held back a bitter comment, not wanting to talk shit about my cousin, but he saw it right through me. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in a complicated position."

"I know. You're sweet." The word slipped through my tongue before I could contain it. Will blinked a few times, seeming surprised, and I felt my cheeks burn, starting to stutter. "I meant… I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no. It's just… no one's ever called me that before." It was my time to get surprised. He didn't seem to be complimented much, and that just made me flabbergasted. I couldn't be the only one who saw how fantastic Will was.

"... Ah. Well, some people are just shy. I'm shy as hell, don't even know how I had the nerve to say that, it's probably the wine starting to kick in. Hope I really didn't make you uncomfortable, though. Don't need to be polite, it's okay to tell me."

"Actually, I'm curious to know what else you think of me. I sense it's not the only word you have to define me." He sounded bolder, and his eyes were on mine, giving me shivers down my spine. 

"Well… I think you're too exceptional to be defined with a few words. You're… Kind, brilliant… I see how seeing what you see, doing what you do, how it wrecks you sometimes, and you just keep doing it because you're saving lives. That's so selfless, Will. That's…" I was going to say more, but at that very moment, a loud thunder just made the house practically tremble, and I let out a real inelegant weep, coming closer to Will and holding his arm firmly, my fingers grabbing on the fabric of his shirt. He could've thought it was an artifice to get closer to him, but he could see how frightened I was, trembling like a cornered wild little beast. I hated thunders, fireworks, anything loud. Feeling ridiculous, I released his shirt, apologizing with embarrassment.

"It's okay. It's just noise. I'm here." He put some of my hair that had fallen to my face behind my ear with such a tenderness that I felt my stomach twitch, realizing suddenly how close we were. He was looking at me as if it was the first time he was actually seeing me. 

The phone rang again. Alana! I grabbed it from the coffee table, turning to face Will. He wasn't avoiding eye contact anymore, his pupils were dilated. My breathing was accelerated, and I knew it had little to do with the thunder.

"Lana, is everything okay?" I asked with genuine concern. "Are you close?"

"Ah, Y/n. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll make it in time, I'm driving slow, the roads are slippery because of the storm and it's pretty foggy. I'll stop at a motel and spend the night, or at least wait for the storm to pass. I'm so furious with myself!"

"It's okay cuz, do what's safer for you. I'm sure Will will understand. I'll pass him the phone." I gave him the phone and he talked to Alana for a few minutes, but I wasn't listening. She'd ruined the moment unintentionally, and now he was probably going home. When would I have an opportunity like that again? 

"Okay. Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Alana. Take care." He gave me the phone and I put it on the coffee table again. Before any of us could say anything, another thunder cracked the sky, and this time, Will held me so I wouldn't be afraid. The lights went out, and he held me against his chest protectively, making me smell his aftershave and some perfume. He smelled so good. For a moment, I just stood there in his arms, feeling his warmth, his breath, the steady beats of his heart. 

I moved away just a little to see his face, very close to mine, but it was so dark I could only see shadows. A lightning lit up the room and, just for a little moment, I could see his gorgeous eyes staring at me. After a soft touch of his thumb on my lips, he finally kissed me, so gentle, like I could break as fine china with any rougher move. I touched his neck with both my hands, playing with his hair, feeling how soft they were. He pulled me closer, his hands on my waist, and the kiss started to get deeper, voracious, as if we were hungry for each other. Maybe the wine was helping to raise the lust; all I know is that I've wanted that to happen for a long time. Will's kiss was everything I imagined it would be, but entirely different at the same time. All I could say was that he was great at it. His hands traveled through my body, and I grabbed his hair, pulling it slightly. That made a low growl echo through his chest, and I started to feel my body fervent as a bonfire.

I couldn't say much because I was breathless and I didn't want to stop what we were doing, so a single word left my lips as I kept my forehead on his.

"Stay."

Will bit his lip, kissing me again, and that was all the answer I needed.

xx 

Morning. Thin sunrays illuminated my bedroom floor through the curtains, waking me up. The storm was gone. I haven't had a nice night of sleep like that in ages. I looked at the other side of my bed and there was Will, sleeping heavily. It wasn't a dream, after all. Last night really happened. I smiled, staring at the roof with disbelief in my eyes.

I stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Should I just let him sleep? He looked so heavenly, his hair was messy, his breathing steady, he seemed so less troubled than he usually was. I touched his hair lightly, caressing it with tenderness, and he started to move. I could see his neck, and a few hickies we marked on his albescent skin. That made me blush a little bit, and I laughed silently. 

He opened his eyes while I still touched his hair, but I didn't stop, and he didn't seem to want me to. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, and he smiled, a different smile than the usual ones he gave me.

"Hi." He said, pulling me closer by my waist, stroking the skin under the sheets. I pecked him on the lips, then kissing his forehead, his cheek, his jawline. 

"Hey there. Good morning. I'm starving, are you having breakfast with me?"

"Actually, I gotta go home. Feed the dogs." He said, stroking my nude shoulder with his finger.

"Of course. Your dogs. I won't keep you then, poor babies must be so hungry." I kissed his cheek and was about to get up when he pulled me again, gently kissing my lips. I smiled, probably looking like an idiot. A joyful idiot. "I'll let you get dressed. I'll be in the kitchen."

I dressed up in my long and black robe, smiling at him before I left the room, going to the kitchen, where I started to make some french toasts. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open, and an exhausted Alana came in, her hair frizzy and her coat looking still a bit wet.

"Oh, Lana! Go change, you'll get a cold!" I stopped what I was doing, going to her and helping to take off her coat.

"That storm was a nightmare. I swear I won't ignore the warnings ever again. I'm so sorry, I had no idea it would get this bad, yesterday was one of those days where everything just goes wrong. Hope Will arrived well at home, did he seem disappointed or annoyed before he left? I was so inconvenient…"

I didn't even have time to answer, because Will opened my bedroom door, coming out while buttoning his shirt, suddenly realizing Alana was there.

"Oh." Alana said, looking so flabbergasted I almost laughed at her. Will rose his eyebrows at the sight of her, seeming a bit unsure of what to do or say. I wasn't planning for her to find out like this, it was a bit early, I wasn't expecting her to arrive so soon. "Hi, Will."

"Alana. Hi." He avoided looking at her, staring at me, and his eyes immediately softened. I smiled, he smiled back, and that was it, Alana was forgotten.

"Off you go to feed your children." I joked, biting my bottom lip. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Definitely." He simply said, kissing my forehead while caressing my hair, certainly a little embarrassed to kiss me in front of Alana. "See you later, Y/n. Bye, Alana."

"Bye, Will." I waved with a soft smile, and he grabbed his jacket, leaving the house.

My smile grew larger and I left my head fall back, squeaking low in commemoration. What a night! What a morning! I never thought I would thank a storm so much, let alone a bloody thunder.

Before Alana could say anything, I realized Will had left his glasses at the coffee table, and I picked it up in a hurry, bursting through the front door and calling him before he left, waving in front of the car.

"You forgot your glasses!" I said, and he opened the car windows, raising his hand to pick them.

I leaned against the car window, putting the glasses on him, and kissing his lips fiercely. He moaned in surprise, holding my face to deepen the kiss. After a moment, I pulled away, appreciating the view of his lips so reddish. 

"Go back inside, it's cold." He said with a cheeky smile, and before I could say he actually made me hotter, he took off with the car.

I went back inside, where Alana was waiting for me with her arms crossed. 

"What the hell did you do to Will Graham?" She asked, sounding severe, but a smile was trying to escape her lips "I mean, besides trying to suck his soul with your mouth a few moments ago."

"Oh, shut up!" I laughed, blushing violently. "You made that happen, you know? Thank you. Was that a set up or did the universe actually conspire in my favor?"

"I wish I'd planned this. That would mean I would've had a plan b and I wouldn't have stayed at that disgusting mote… Y/n, you're full of hickies, I can't believe you!"

"You're starting to sound like my mom, Lana. I'm gonna wear a turtleneck, don't worry, I don't want Beverly all over me like a bloodhound and Brian and Jimmy's witty comments today. In fact, keep it to yourself, okay? Will's discreet. I won't even tell Beverly, if she finds out, the whole bureau will know, hell, maybe even Freddie Lounds."

"I told you to let it go, Y/n. Will's very unstable right now. I… I only want what's best for you." She said with concern in her bright blue eyes. I sighed, walking to her and kissing her cheek with affection.

"You're a good cousin. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, okay? Unless this isn't only about me, unless it concerns something else." I raised an eyebrow while staring at her, more confident that I've ever been. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"

She hesitated, clenching her jaw, but never spoke. 

I smiled, tapping her cheek very lightly in approval.

"I gotta get ready to work. Wanna grab lunch with me later?" I asked in a casual tone, a cynical smile on my face. She shrugged. "See you later then, cuz."

[fangirl-ramblings]

Their First Time [18+]

📷 Picture by @the-neigh-sayer 

Pairing: John Marston x Lilly Mae James ( @lilly-and-alice  )

Summary: Lilly has been running with the Van der Linde Gang for a while. During that time, her relationship with John has been hard to define. Practically the same age as each other, a rocky friendship of sorts has developed between them; which has not been helped by John's seeming indifference towards her in the beginning.

That all changed a few nights previously when John took the opportunity to kiss Lilly

Notes: Self indulgent Smut [NSFW - 18+] | (Barely) Friends to Lovers | First Time | The opposite of a slow burn fic | Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am | Pre-Canon | Pre- John x Abigail 

I'm gifting this story my wonderful friend, the lovely @gangofgunslingers​ for her birthday as a huge thank you for being one of John x Lilly's biggest fans and constantly inspiring & motivating me (and wanting to kick my ass) to try finish all my stories. (But most importantly - it’s because ilysm and I hope you have a wonderful day 😘😘😘)

Also huge thank you to @sad-sweet-cowboah​ & @verai-marcel​ who took the time beta read this story and give me some excellent advice.

Requested tags: @amina-celestial​ & @cupofhana (If you also want to be tagged in anything I write, or no longer want to be tagged, just send me a message)

Unrequested tags: For my remaining John hoes @theunholyoutlaw @the-neigh-sayer & @redeadepression (because we need more John content in our lives - even if it is my poor attempt at something)

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

     “Hey sugar, you look like you’re having a fine old time tonight.”

     “Why thank you, kind sir,” Lilly slurred, smiling at the stranger who spoke to her. “I am having a fine old time tonight! For, indeed, it is my birthday and I am celebrating with my friend!” She gestured wildly to where she last saw John, who had been talking to the barkeeper. A look of confusion crossed her face as she struggled to find him in the sea of people that had suddenly developed around the bar.

     “Well a very happy birthday to you Miss, but it looks like your so-called 'friend' has upped and left you.” The stranger leaned in, whispering in her ear, as he placed a firm hand on her backside. “How about we go someplace private and celebrate together instead?”

Looking down towards his hand, it took a few seconds for Lilly to realise what the man was implying to her. “Erm, no thank you,” she replied, grabbing the man’s wrist and removing it from her person, before looking around the packed saloon, yelling "Marston? Where you at, you damned fool?"

While she was distracted, she felt a sharp tug at her own wrist. The man had grabbed hold and was now pulling her towards the door. “Oh, I wasn’t asking sweetheart, now move yourself!” he barked at her.

Anger spiked immediately and Lilly was quick to attempt to remove herself from the situation. She swiftly grabbed an empty beer bottle from a nearby table and raised it high. However, before she had a chance to smash it over the man's head, she felt another arm wrap tightly around her waist, pulling her from her pursuer’s grasp. 

“Hey! You got a problem with my lady?” A raspy voice asked, appearing from seemingly nowhere. Lilly glanced at the familiar face that was now beside her, pulling her ever closer to him.

     “Your lady?” Both Lilly and her antagoniser questioned, looking John up and down.

     “As if she'd even look twice at you, ya greasy streak of piss. You can’t be much older than 18, if that!” The older man snarled as he cast his eye over young Marston, who now had his hand upon the revolver resting in his gun belt.  “No,  what she really needs is a real man, not a jumped up little boy who thinks he’s playin’ Cowboys & Injuns.”

Lilly closed her eyes, envisioning John's anger over those comments. She waited for the quick firing of bullets she knew he was capable of. However, she was surprised to hear nothing but silence. As she tentatively reopened her eyes, she looked down to find both of John’s hands firmly on her waist, pulling her against him, before gently placing his lips against hers in such a tender way that she didn't realise John Marston was actually capable of.

Not knowing whether it was the drink or the kiss that was making her feel intoxicated, she allowed herself to reply by allowing the tip of her tongue to brush against his whiskey stained lips, practically insisting that he should let her in.

The kiss itself was over within seconds, but it seemed to the pair of them that time had stood still, igniting something deep in both of them, something they had tried so hard to previously ignore and now would change their friendship forever.

Breaking away from each other to catch their breath, Lilly and John placed their foreheads against each other's. They took a brief moment to stare into each other's eyes, attempting to make sense of what was happening between them.

     "Thanks for saving me,” she breathlessly whispered, noticing out the corner of her eye that the man had moved to the other side of the bar to try his luck with some other poor, unsuspecting girl. “But did you really need to kiss me to prove a point?”

     “It was either that or shoot him, and Dutch did ask us to stay outta trouble, so...” he replied, with a smirk plastered on his face, his hands still holding onto her hips. “Anyways, did you need to try and stick your tongue down my throat?” 

Not knowing whether she was caught up in the moment, felt embarrassed by his comment, or just flushed from the effects of the alcohol, Lilly found herself breaking away from the embrace and headed towards the door. "I think...I think I need some fresh air."

***

Lilly stumbled through the swinging doors, stopping for a moment to breathe in and savour the freshness of the night air. Taking a deep breath, she made her way down the small dirt path at the side of the saloon. Placing her back against the wooden wall and closing her eyes, she tried to make sense of everything: Could it be that she truly enjoyed this kiss, and the one they shared a few nights ago? Were the butterflies that appeared in her stomach at his mere touch a new feeling, or was it something she'd unconsciously tried to repress? Maybe these feelings had gone on even longer than she originally thought. She was always disappointed to find John had left camp without her and she couldn't deny that her heart leaped with joy every time he returned.

The sound of John's raspy laugh brought her back out of her daydream.

     “So you finished celebratin' your birthday yet?” he asked, leaning against the side of the saloon with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He casually struck a match against the wall to light it.

     “For now at least,” she replied, leaning in the empty space next to him. Pausing for a second she turned to face him, “Hey can I ask you something?”

     “Sure, what about?” He replied, staring straight ahead, outstretching his hand to offer her his cigarette.

     “What is this?" Lilly questioned, taking a drag before handing it back to him.

     "It's a cigarette." John teased, though it was clear he knew full well what she truly meant.

     "No dumbass! What is *this* happening between us?” she gestured, waving her hands wildly in the empty space in between them. 

     “I thought that was obvious,” he chuckled, exhaling a puff of smoke in that calm, collected manner of his. 

     Struggling to take her eyes off him, Lilly leaned back, resting her head against the woodwork. “It's just...well...I've been running with you guys for a while now, and you hardly ever used to speak to me and all of a sudden, you keep kissing me?”

     "What? You don't like me kissin' ya?"

     "Well yeah, I do like it. But..." Before she could finish her sentence, John had flicked his cigarette to the floor. He moved quickly to face her, one hand resting next to her head on the wall, the other one back on her hip. His thumb began to rub circles on a patch of exposed skin, and he pulled her body closer to him.

     "But what?" He whispered into her ear; his breath so close she could practically taste the whiskey and tobacco.

Staring into his eyes, Lilly no longer had the words to answer him. She instead leaned forward to kiss him, her tongue prodding through his already parted lips. John took the opportunity to suck gently on her tongue as one hand moved to palm her breast. His other hand moved gently over her body, feeling every curve and groaning as he watched her succumb to his touch. 

He smirked, immensely enjoying the soft moans that escaped from her mouth into his. Her hips rolled subconsciously against him, grinding against his growing erection. Her jeans soon felt loosened as he unbuckled them. She groaned into his ear as he slid his hand in and moved a finger along her already wet folds.

     "Nice to see I have this effect on you." he smirked. He observed her expression as he thumbed her sensitive nub before moving a finger inside of her core.

Burying her head against his shoulder as she arched her hips to his touch, Lilly couldn't help but cry out a breathless, "Oh…God." 

Holding Lilly's jaw with his other hand, he rasped into her ear, "You never struck me as being so needy for my touch," he brushed a thumb against her lips, which she eagerly took into her mouth. "Yet here you are, takin’ everything I'm givin’ you."

Lilly nodded, finding herself unable to speak. Her face contorted with pleasure as he quickened his pace with his other hand, curling his fingers against her sweet spot. Grabbing a tight hold of his arm, Lilly dug her nails in as the crest of her first wave quickly built up and washed over her.

As she eased down from her high, John moved his hand away, prompting her to whine from the loss of contact. She caught her breath and watched in anticipation as John started to unbuckle his own trousers. His rock hard erection sprang free and he moved his hand over the shaft, coating it with a mix of her slick and his own precum.

With John helping her out of her jeans, Lilly was not used to the strange sensation of the cool night air nip at her exposed flesh. The heat of her core quickly returned upon catching the pure lust in John’s eyes, him staring at her as if she were the most gorgeous being he’d ever set his sights on.

Moving in closer to her, he carefully positioned himself at her entrance. "You ready for me?" he asked. 

Nodding sheepishly, Lilly pulled him into a short and sweet kiss, gingerly placing her hands on his shoulders. John eased her up against the wall and placed a hand on her thigh, lifting her leg up to rest on his waist. He slowly pushed into her, watching her face for any signs of discomfort. As her body grew accustomed to him, he began to thrust at a steady pace. Her hands moved to his backside, pushing him closer and deeper within her with each thrust. 

John firmly placed his hand under her chin, pulling her mouth closer to his own. Her hot breath breezed against his cheek as she moaned, her body tingling in pleasure from how deep he’d reached inside her. Nipping at her bottom lip, Lilly couldn't help but groan his name into his mouth. Her hands moved under his shirt to claw at his back.

     “Feelin’ okay?” John whispered, his nimble fingers unlacing her blouse. With her breasts exposed to his hungry gaze, he brought his mouth against her supple flesh. His tongue and teeth toyed and grazed against her hardened nipple, only heightening her ecstasy.

     “Mmm...better than...okay….I…..I…..” Unable to finish the sentence, Lilly’s body began to shake and tighten around him, tugging at his hair as she attempted to keep herself quiet. With another climax on the rise, John quickly moved to muffle her screams by covering her mouth with his hand. He continued to thrust deep into her, helping her ride out the ever heightening wave of pleasure.

He wasn’t too far behind, only short moments passing before he quickly pulled out and spilt himself onto the floor. He panted heavily and leaned his head against her shoulder, the night air filled with their breathless sighs.

     Lilly was the first to speak, "Wow!" she exclaimed, simply at a loss for other words. She leaned against the wall, dragging her tired fingers through his hair.

John placed soft kisses along her collarbone before he tucked himself back into his trousers. A small look of concern crossed his face, and he muttered, "Sorry."

     "For what?"

    "I practically forced myself on you just then...but it's just…I've wanted you ever since I first laid eyes on you."

Lilly smiled at him, grabbing her jeans to pull them back on. "You didn't force yourself on me. I kissed you this time, remember?" As she laced her blouse back up, she noted the look of confusion John had etched across his face. A giggle escaped her. "I obviously wanted it too. It just took me a bit longer to realise my feelings towards you." 

Her reassurance seemed to do the trick as a smile appeared on John’s lips. “I’m glad to hear you say that, didn’t want you thinkin’ that this had to be a one off” 

Placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, she linked his arm and walked back with him onto the main street. "Come on, I think I’m done with my birthday drinks. But what say we continue celebrating over at the hotel?"

[resident-curse-breaker]

The Bancroft Bloodline

Hello, everyone!

As some of you may know, I’ve previously written two one-shots exploring the relationship between my MC, Nellie Bancroft, and Barnaby Lee. I’ve decided to expand those one-shots into a collection of stories where I develop Nellie’s character by exploring her relationships with other characters. So far, I’ve got ideas for stories centering on her relationships with Rowan Khanna, Skye Parkin, Erika Rath, and Talbott Winger. 

The most recent addition is a vignette revolving around her relationship with Jacob, which is arguably one of the most important relationships in her life. Below the cut, you’ll find the link to the collection on AO3. The collection is titled Breaker of Curses, Dueler of Knights, and includes both Names Scrawled in the Margins of Spellbooks, the Barnaby-centric stories, and The Bancroft Bloodline, which focuses on Jacob. You’ll also find the entire first chapter of The Bancroft Bloodline, shared here on Tumblr for those who don’t want to go offsite.

I’d absolutely love if you’d give it a read, and I’m always looking for feedback. Thank you so much for your time!

Breaker of Curses, Dueler of Knights: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901170

The Bancroft Bloodline

Jacob Bancroft considered himself quite good at making snap judgments.

He had to be, in his line of work. In the world of curse-breaking, there was seldom time to carefully analyze every small aspect of a scene or situation. If action had to be taken, it had to be taken quickly. So, he learned to make his assessments in mere seconds, and deal with whatever the consequences may be later. As long as he got out of the main problem in one piece, he could worry about solving the others that may sprout up further down the line. It had become a bit of a habit.

So when he saw his little sister in that Vault, laying eyes on her for the first time in seven long years, he gave her the same perfunctory scan he gave everything else. She had grown taller, though not by much, and her face had yet to lose that youthful roundness. She was still growing her hair out; the flaxen locks were tied in a thick braid long enough for her to sit on. She was dressed in clothes unlike any he'd ever seen her wear—garments made of thick leather, with a chest plate and a shoulder pad—but then, she was venturing into a Cursed Vault. Perhaps it was smart to dress for the occasion. Certainly better than tromping around in her Hogwarts robes. She was still wearing the locket he'd given her, all those years ago, the silver seashell resting against her sternum.

She hadn't changed a bit.

It had been a matter of instinct, giving her that once over, and even as he did it, he hadn't truly registered what he was seeing. It seemed impossible, to think that after all these years of regretting and missing and loving, Nellie was standing right there, only feet away.

"Pip," he breathed, hardly daring to believe it, and she whipped around to face him. The wave of emotion that seemed to hit her at the sight of him was enough to make her stumble back, hands flying to cover her mouth.

"Jacob!" she whimpered, and, recovering, ran over to the portrait. She pressed her palms against the canvas, and Jacob dropped down to his knees, lining his hands up with hers, wishing more than anything that he could grab them and soothe her. Goodness, her hands were still so small. Nellie looked up, and seeing him so close made her face crumple, tears pouring openly down her cheeks. She sobbed, and just like that, Jacob was thrown back to being seventeen, newly expelled and purposeless.

He'd hardly left his room since he'd been sent home. His mothers didn't seem to know how to talk to him, and he was sure they had been urging Nellie away from him as well. He could hear them at night, arguing downstairs when they thought he was asleep. They didn't know what to do with him. It was fair, he supposed. He didn't know quite what to do with himself either.

Then he'd gotten Rakepick's letter.

He had spent a long time grappling with the contents of that letter. Deep down, he'd known he shouldn't accept her offer. Working for her and her allies, it had brought only bloodshed. First poor, sweet Olivia. Then Duncan. Getting sent home could've been a chance to try and sever those ties, get his life back on a track that was normal and safe. But of course, Jacob couldn't accept a comfortable life. He wanted a life of glory. He wanted to be powerful. He'd been such a foolish boy.

He could still remember the way his bedroom door creaked as it opened, and the sound of Nellie's little voice calling his name from the doorway. She'd been only eight, then, so small and vulnerable. Too young to understand why his homecoming had brought frustration and anguish, rather than joy. She didn't understand the weight of his expulsion, or the conversations her mothers had that always seemed to die out when she walked in the room, or the reason her big brother had barely said a single word to her since he came home. All she understood was that she'd missed him while he was gone, and she wanted to spend time with him now that he was here.

All she had done was ask if she could show him her new doll, the one mama had stitched up just for her.

And he'd exploded. He'd screamed at her for everything that had gone wrong, and for nothing at all. He screamed at her for things that were not her doing. He screamed at her for not understanding, for daring to come into his room while he was thinking, for wasting his time. He'd screamed at her until his voice gave out, and only then did he turn to look at her, chest heaving and face red with exertion.

More than anything, he remembered the way she'd looked at him in that moment. Her face drained of color, and her shaking hands hugged to her chest. Her eyes wide and damp with tears, looking at him not only with fear, but with a complete lack of recognition. In that moment, gazing up at him, she didn't recognize her beloved brother at all, and Jacob knew it. His heart had immediately sunk into the pit of his stomach, but when he reached to try and comfort her, she'd burst into tears and ran away. She'd been afraid of him. No matter how hard he tried, Jacob couldn't seem to forget how terrible that felt. In that moment, he'd failed every responsibility afforded to him as an older brother. His quest for power had turned him into someone his baby sister couldn't trust. 

Starting his search for the Vaults was the biggest mistake of his life, but the second biggest mistake was undoubtedly the one he made that night: deciding that he wouldn't be able to put aside his quest—and become the sort of brother he wanted to be—until he'd succeeded. Once he found the Vaults, sating his curiosity and ridding him of his awful jealousy, he would finally be able to move on.

He'd left the very same night.

And look where that had gotten him. Trapped for years, without ever being able to amend the countless mistakes he had made. Look where it had gotten Nellie, seemingly led down the same crooked path that he had walked, filled with the same anguish he'd forced upon her seven years ago.

That was his little sister, sobbing on the other side of the portrait, bruised and shaking and so very vulnerable, and it was all his fault. Tears pricked at the back of Jacob's eyes, and he clenched his jaw, refusing to let himself break down. He was going to fix this. He was going to do right by her now, to make up for every time he had ever done her wrong. He tilted his head, trying to meet her eyes, and gave her the gentlest smile he could manage.

"It's alright, Pip. It's alright," he soothed, struggling to keep his voice steady. He glanced past her, to the column, and then met her gaze once more. "I need you to touch the column, okay? Then I'll be right there." Nellie looked over her shoulder at the column, like she'd forgotten it was there, then pulled away, wiping her nose with a small sniffle. 

"O-Okay. I-I got it." Nellie pushed back her shoulders, forcing herself to stand tall, and crossed over to the column, her every step weighted with purpose. She looked over her shoulder, back up at him—and pressed her hand against the column.

It felt as though air filled Jacob's lungs for the very first time, like he hadn't drawn a breath in years. He took a big gulp of it, of that brand new air, and fell through the the canvas like it was water. He landed on his feet, wobbling, and he barely had time to steady himself before Nellie launched herself into his arms. He almost dissolved, then, holding her so close and feeling her weight in his arms, but he pulled himself back. She needed him. He couldn't break apart now.

"Let me look at you," Jacob whispered, planting his hands on Nellie's shoulders and pulling her back just enough to scan her over, one more time. He huffed a breathless laugh, shaking his head, then pressed a fervent kiss to her forehead. "God, Pip—you haven't changed a bit!" There was so much he wanted to say. He'd had seven years to plan everything he wanted to tell her, but in this critical moment, every carefully constructed sentence had fled his mind.

"You either," Nellie choked out, gazing up at him, before breaking down into another sob, "Oh, Jacob, I've—I've missed you. I've missed you so much." She shook her head, clinging desperately to his arms. "Everything's so twisted and wrong, it's all such a mess—" The relief that overwhelmed Jacob began to give away to unease, his brow furrowing. He was happier than anything that they were finally reunited, happier than anything that he was free...but what was she doing here?

"Hey, hey, shh," Jacob murmured, reaching with a shaking hand to smooth Nellie's hair back from her face, "Whatever's wrong, we can figure it out—"

"I'm sorry I didn't open the door!" Jacob paused, blinking at her a few times in confusion. Nellie wept, not even able to look him in the eye. "Th-The night you left. I didn't open the d-door. I'm so—I'm so sorry, Jacob!" Oh. Oh. That dreadful night, after he'd exploded and destroyed his family with the shrapnel of his rage, he'd tried to go and talk to her, to tell her he was sorry and reassure her that he was someone she could trust. But no matter how much he'd knocked, or how gently he spoke, Nellie hadn't responded, and she certainly hadn't opened the door. Had she been holding onto that, all these years?

"Nellie—" Before he could finish his sentence, however, the sound of oncoming feet made him spin towards the entryway, instinctively throwing out an arm to shield her. Two redheaded boys, one tall and lanky and the other short and stocky, raced in, both of them seeming to relax at the sight of Nellie. Still, Jacob didn't drop his arm. "Who're these two chaps, Pip?" Nellie sniffled, clumsily wiping at her face with the palms of her hands. The sight of them seemed to have jarred her back to the present, reminding her of the circumstances that had gotten her here. There was no time for tears.

"These are my friends, Bill and Charlie Weasley," she introduced, keeping her voice as steady as she could and stepping out around Jacob, branching the gap between them, "They helped me get here."

"Well, then they have my gratitude, that's for sure," Jacob responded in a frail attempt at levity, giving both boys a tight smile. They both stared, as though they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing.

"So, that's him?" the taller one asked, voice uncertain, "That's Jacob Bancroft?" Nellie turned towards him once more, her smile radiant in spite of the dampness of her eyes.

"That's Jacob Bancroft," she confirmed, voice soft with wonder, before the arrival of two more strangers, a boy and a girl, caught her attention. "Merula!" she gasped, darting over to the girl, who was leaning heavily on the boy, her face twisted in pain, "You should be resting!" On instinct, Jacob reached for his wand, a dozen healing spells on his tongue.

"What happened to her?"

"It was Rakepick," Nellie answered, voice growing tight as she wrapped one of the girl's arms around her shoulder, helping to prop her up, "She used the Cruciatus curse on her, we have to—"

"Rakepick?" Jacob interjected, eyes darkening, "She's here?" That vile banshee. It was all falling into place now. Jacob had failed her, so she'd turned to the second best option. She'd preyed on his little sister, used her the same way she'd used him, brought her here, into this place of unbelievable danger, to serve her own needs. 

"Well, no, not—not anymore," Nellie fumbled, caught off guard by the intensity of his voice, "She Disapparated—"

"Just now?" She wouldn't get away with this. He wouldn't let her. She'd taken his ambition and corrupted it. She had twisted him until he was unrecognizable, and disposed of his two only friends as soon as they were of no use to her. She had torn his family apart, ripped him away from them, and now she had turned her wicked gaze onto the one person Jacob had wanted to protect above all. Jacob was going to take her down. He was going to turn her into ash, and ensure that she never sunk her claws into anyone else.

"Just a minute ago," the shorter redhead confirmed, glancing at Nellie, and Jacob gave a low growl.

"I have to go after her," he muttered, almost more to himself than to them, stalking past the group and pulling his wand from its sheath at his hip, "I might still be able to catch up with her, if I'm fast enough."

"Wait!" Nellie gasped, and in spite of himself, Jacob felt his expression soften as he turned to face her. "Take me with you," she pleaded, voice just about breaking, "I can help!" Jacob's chest tightened. She was such a noble girl. She had been since she was just a small child, always taking the blame for his missteps and shielding him from the worst of their mum's disappointment. 

"This is my fight," Jacob said gently, walking over and taking her round, young face in his hands, "It's too dangerous for you to get involved.

"You can't leave again! You can't!" Nellie protested frantically, panic settling in her chest like a bird in a cage that was far too small, beating its wings against the bars, "I only just got you back! There's so much I need to ask you—"

"And there will be time later," Jacob stated firmly, leaning in to press one last kiss to Nellie's forehead, "I'll find you, Pip. I promise. And then we'll have all the time in the world." He pulled back, out of reach of Nellie's hands, reaching desperately for him. "Keep your head down, and stay safe," he commanded, looking steadily into her eyes, "I'll find you when this is all over." And with a loud pop, he was gone.

Fortunately, Jacob left just a minute too early to see Nellie break down entirely. He missed, by only a moment, Bill Weasley pulling her into his arms in a way not unlike Jacob had. Into an embrace not unlike that of an older brother.

[a-pretty-nerd]

I Think We're Alone Now (Klaus Hargreeves x fem! reader smut)

Request: "Hey, so I know you probably have a lot of requests to write, but I was wondering if you could write a Klaus x reader fic based off of the song "I think we're alone now" it's in the first episode where they're all dancing. I just think it'd be a cool/cute/smutty little thing to write. Also you're amazing and I've read your stories before I even had a Tumblr account (it was on safari usually) anyways thanks, and you're amazing!!" ~ @the-marvelatic

A/N: I know! I know these prompts have taken me a while. But I worked two full hour weeks at work which was intense, this podcast demands a lot, and currently I am starting a very big project that is a priority as well. Regardless, I am hoping to open my inbox back up by next week. Thank you for all your requests, keep em coming, I love you ✌💕

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fuckin...you know the drill

Song:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Life had never been easy. Being a freak of nature was absolute hell your entire life. Your only comfort as a child was knowing that there were others like yourself. The television was a peak into the world where The Umbrella Academy, a group of "gifted" children used their gifts for good! As a girl, you fantasized being in a group like that.

But unfortunately, as years passed and adulthood took over, that childhood dream shattered.

Life had passed you by until, by some strange miracle, that dream found you. Your fellow freaks were in search of more like themselves. You were unknowingly close to them, having tried to make a life for yourself in New York.

You hardly recognized the team, of course, it had been years since you even thought of them. You were given an insane opportunity to meet others like yourself. Learning the other's stories, and sharing your abilities with them. It felt like a reunion, and yet none of you had ever met.

There was something about one of them in particular. A scrawny and rugged man, you often times saw him sneaking a glance at you. Klaus was the most interesting to you. Not only was his ability fascinating but, he just had a glow about him that attracted you.

You were smitten at first sight, is all I'll say. There were a couple times you had gotten a little flirtatious before Luther, or Diego, or another interupted the tense moment. You could have sworn it was on purpose.

It was about your third night there when tensions had grown too high. You sat yourself down on the couch beside him after a drink or two. You plopped down and smiled at him without a word.

"Oh, hello you." He smiled back, hugging his shoulder up to his neck and dropping them.

"I like your ink." You told him, dragging one of your fingers over the flesh of his shoulder.

"Thank you." He said, looking over at the particular piece you were refering to.

"Alright well, I'm beat. I'm gonna head to bed." Luther groaned as he stood up, and began walking towards the staircase.

"Sounds like a good idea." Allison yawned and followed. Now, Vanya had already gone to bed early, so had many others. After Luther and Allison exscused themselves, you were left relativley alone. It was just you, klaus, and oh yeah...five.

Five, having drank himself one too many margaritas and scotches, was now a very outgoing and energetic individual. He leaned against a bookshelf and sipped at the sad remains of a half-drunk margarita.

"Its a funny thing...sleep."

"What?" You asked him, slightly confused.

"Sleep. I only seem to need it when I want it most. And-sory...Don't want it most. But its at times when I do want it that I fail to drift off." Klaus's brow raised as he watched the man/child stumble forward and sit down on the seat across where Luther had been seated before.

"I know the feeling." You spoke to be polite.

"I believe it was Charle Dickins that wrote of the misfortunes of sleep. Or...was that Poe?" He continued, running names through his head before he brushed it aside and rambled on. You sighed, fustrated that Five would not get a clue and leave the two of you alone. As time passed, you looked over at Klaus and shared a mutual sigh.

"Well I think its my bedtime." You stood, looking down at Klaus with a shrug before walking past five and to your guest bedroom. "Goodnight."

"Mmh. Night." Five mumbled. You sulked back, down the hallway to your room.

"Wait a minute, Y/N?" You turned, finding the adorabke Klaus jogging down the hallway towards you. He stopped in front of you and stared for a moment in silence.

"Yes?" You asked, your heart heaving in your chest as you tool deeo breathes. He was close. You were alone, the hallway was completely empty and it sent a chill down your spine. Without a word, he reached his arms out and pulled you into a passionate kiss by your shoulders. Finally.

You felt a release of stress, and yet the tension was building. You craved more. You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him close as the kiss continued. He pressed you up against the wall, holding your hips in his hands and he panted between kisses. Your heart raced in your chest as your body demanded more.

You pulled against his clothing, desperate to see and feel him bare. You pulled off his jacket and dropped in in the hall. He pulled you by your hips and into your room, where you then pressed him against the door to close and lock it. All alone, all to yourself. You pulled his shirt off and over his head. He watched you with heavy eyelids and a lustfueled sparkle in his eyes. He let you hold you, kiss his neck and leave hickies as you pleased. He moaned in pleasure as he reached down and grabbed your ass. Oh yess.

"I want you." You panted as you looked up at him. He gave a huff and a smile.

"Really?" He laughed. You giggled for a moment before pulling him away from the door, making your way to the bed. He sat on the edge and watched you remove your pants before swinging your legs to either side of his thighs. He gazed up at you, sliding his hands up your hips and side as you pulled your shirt off and threw it to the side. "Even better than I imagined." He purred, placing his head on your chest, between your breasts. He made quick to remove your bra and drop it. From there he toyed, groped, sucked your chest. You moaned his name.

You felt his erection grow under your panties, practically throbbing uncomfortably. The butterflies went wild in your stomach as he took you and layed you down on the bed under him. From there, he threw off his pants and let his cock spring free. You would have to suck him off another time, he was too needy for you to let you take the tip. He stood at the side of the bed and pulled off your panties. He reached down and moaned happily.

"So wet." He cooed before adjusting himself to your entrance. You let out a loud moan as he filled you. A shiver embraced you before he started to move. Oh fuck it was so good, the way he fucked you. At first it was relatively missionary, he leaned down and kissed you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. His hips smacked against yours as you went dizzy. Then is sat up, holding onto you hips. He held your thighs in your hands and pulled them up. It made him hit you deeper. Oh fuck.

"Oh god, baby." You panted.

"Fuck yeah, thats it." He said, before he then took your legs and pressed them together. He sat them on his shoulder and held your thighs together as he fucked you. It made him hit your g-spot. And oh god. Oh god. Your eyes rolled back in your head. You gripped the sheet below as he relentlessly fucked into you.

"F-Fuck I'm gonna-" you hissed, turning your head to side as your cheeks went hot. You felt your orgasm come and your body release the tension. You came on his cock, and it made him go crazy.

"Oh god, yes baby, oh yes--f-fuc-ck." He grunted, practically clinging to your thighs as he continued. He finally pulled out and threw your thighs apart so he could cum all over your chest. His jaw dropped as he finished. He was spent, and panting in the aftermath.

"Christ." You huffed in the glow. Klaus struggled to find something to clean you off with. You watched as he wipped your chest and stomach off and tossed the evidence away. "We'll have to do that again sometime." You smiled.

"If we can find the time again." Klaus nodded. You chuckled.

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Chapter 30:~Time After Time~ FINALE

Summary: The nights alone have become colder and colder, and not just because of the weather.

Warnings: Angst in the beginning.

Read it on my Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 2596

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86 @peachlobotomy666

A/N: This is it. The final chapter. Thank you so much for everyone that has liked, reblogged, or simply read any and every chapter of this fic. It's the first fanfiction I've completed in almost 5 years, but it's the first I've ever made public on Tumblr. It may be a while until I get back into writing completely, as I've decided to ship some of my creative focus towards drawing. I'm not very good at it, but I aspire to improve. Will I show my work at all? Maybe, if there's really a demand for it (though I doubt it lmao). I may post some Oneshots here or there. We'll see.

Until then, thank you for reading.

After you'd return home, Tom would start calling you at least twice a day for the next couple weeks. You didn't have the heart to block his number, but you certainly weren't going to pick up and talk to him. You couldn't believe what had happened at that event. You couldn't believe you allowed it to happen. You were always against public sex, but you couldn't help yourself around him. It's like he had you under a spell that forced you to need him. To desire him.

That's why you needed to stay far away from him. It doesn't matter that he loves you. He hurt you, in ways you can't even explain. In ways you don't want to explain. You just wanted to forget that night. Forget your feelings.

Forget him.

Though even after a month of locking yourself into your work, you still received his calls. You kept hearing about the play he was in and how great he was doing, even though the public had finally found out that you were no longer together. You couldn't help but check up on him and his play. While it hurt to hear his name, you were proud of him. You were proud of all he had already accomplished. You wish you could just talk to him and hear him boast about it. You were so excited to talk to him more about it before the big fight. It ate away at your heart that you couldn't hear him ramble about it. Hear the excited tone in his voice. You didn't want to stay mad at him, especially after the last thing he said to you...

Did he mean it? Did he...love you? Really love you? In truth, you were tired of being angry. You just wanted a chance to talk, but everytime he'd call you, you'd freeze up. You wouldn't, or couldn't answer.

That night, you really couldn't get to sleep, and you couldn't put on a happy smile for a stream. All you could really do is lay in bed with your phone beside you, quietly thinking to yourself.

You heard your phone begin to ring, looking at the Caller ID. You recognized the number. It was Tom.

You felt your heart flutter a little. You've been thinking about him all day, and you had wondered if these calls were ever going to stop. Did you even want them to stop?

Before the ringing would stop, you picked up the phone and answered it, holding it up to your ear. You heard nothing. Not even breathing.

"...Hello?..." You whispered, already feeling your emotions flare up. "...Tom?.."

"...You picked up.." You heard him speak, his tone sounding a little shaky. Had he been crying?

"Y-Yeah, I know..." You smirked slightly, sitting up some. "I-I guess I had to, eventually.."

"You...haven't picked up at all...f-for weeks.." Tom whispered. "I-I've just...been calling to hear your voicemail."

That hit you rather harder than you expected it to, already feeling tears well up in your eyes. You didn't want to get emotional again, but it was hard not to. He sounded sad.

"H...How's the play been?.." You asked, giving a shaky smile.

"Good.." You heard a half laugh from Tom. "I-It's been...fun. I...wish you could see it."

You frowned a little, closing your eyes to let some tears slowly fall down your cheeks.

"...Me too.." You admitted, giving a shaky breath. "I...I'm...tired of being angry. I want to talk.."

Tom let out another sigh, taking a minute to find the right words before speaking up again.

"...I was wrong to get angry at you.." Tom spoke, his voice a little shaky again. "I shouldn't of said the things I said, and I should've let you speak for yourself instead of barging out of that house and leaving you with all that paperwork. I regret it. I regret it all. I regret everything I did to you to make you upset, (Y/N).."

You frowned deeply, the hand holding the phone becoming a little shaky. You believed him, but part of you still hurt. He really did break your heart.

You sniffled somewhat, knowing he heard it. "D-Did you mean it?.." You finally managed to ask, your body shivering a little.

"I didn't mean to make you upset.." Tom spoke, though he was a little confused with what you meant.

"I-I mean...at the show.." You let out a shaky breath. "W-When you said you loved me...did you mean it? Or--Or was is just from the heat of the moment?.."

"...I meant it." Tom admitted, giving a slight sad chuckle. "I absolutely mean it. I love you.."

You couldn't help but smile, your heart fluttering up again. You placed a hand on your chest, feeling your heartbeat increase.

"...I love you too, Tom.." You spoke, holding back a slight sob.

You heard Tom give a shaky chuckle. You could practically see his big smile in your head. You missed that smile dearly. You wished you could see it again.

"S-So.." Tom calmed himself, clearing his throat a bit. "Wh-What now? Will you take me back?"

You smiled a little. "D-Do you think this would work? A long distance sort of thing?.." You asked.

"If I could fly you down here to be with me, I would.." Tom admitted. "But this play has me incredibly busy. I hardly have time to walk Bobby in the morning.."

"And I barely have the assets and time to actually start a moving process.." You frowned slightly. "Moving to another country, as much as I want it, would be ridiculously hard on my own."

You and Tom both went quiet for a moment, both of you really thinking about this. Neither of you had the time to help you get to him, but neither of you wanted to be apart for months. Who knows what else may come up during Tom's play? He could end up being gone until Christmas or something. You wanted to see him.

"I'm sure I'll think of something.." Tom finally spoke, smiling a little. "I promise. I'll find a way to you.."

"Don't start throwing money around to get to me.." You chuckled a bit, making him laugh as well. "As much as I miss you, I can wait for as long as you need me to."

"I'm not sure I can.." Tom admitted, letting out a slight sigh. "I'd love to catch

up with you on everything, but it's nearly 3 in the morning and I need to get some sleep.." Ah, you had forgotten about the Timezone differences. He's all the way up in London now, after all.

"I promised to call you before the play. I promise.."

"Okay.." You smiled warmly. "I-I love you, Tom.."

"And I love you, (Y/N). Truly.." He spoke in a warm tone. It made your chest feel all warm.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight.."

He hung up first after that.

You set your phone down, feeling your heartbeat once more as a few more tears slipped down your cheeks. You forgave him and admitted that you loved him, but would you really be okay having to wait months and months to see him again? You just wanted to be in his arms again and feel his lips on yours. You were scared of how long you'd potentially have to wait.

Despite that, you were able to get some nice rest. You dreamed of the day you'd get to lay in his arms.

And it would come sooner than you thought.

Another month went by, and you had gotten yourself on to a talk show to talk about your rising fame and upcoming movie. You had never been on one before, so you made sure to doll yourself up a little bit and wear a nice dress. It would be weird going up there on your own, but you had heard and seen from other interviews that the talk show host man was really nice. After fixing yourself up in the mirror, you saw the show start. The talk show host introduced you to the audience before calling you on stage. You smiled brightly as you climbed the stairs and went on stage, seeing all of the people from the audience begin to cheer. All of those people made a permanent bright smile appear on your face. You waved at everyone with a soft chuckle before sitting down on the soft sofa, shaking the show hosts hand as everyone quieted down.

"So nice to have someone new for a change!" The host spoke with a chuckle.

"It feels amazing to be here.." You admitted with a bright smile, crossing your legs.

"So, you've got your first movie coming out, eh? Got yourself quite the co-star, I hear.." They began, leaning forward a bit on their desk. "How was that?"

You chuckled again. People had learned that you and Tom were back together, so you've never stopped hearing about him.

"Yeah. We actually had to live together by that little outdoor set.." You admitted. "I messed up with renting one of the houses, so he let me stay with him."

"And that's how you fell in love, yeah?" The host grinned, being interrupted by the audience clapping for a moment before they'd quiet down. That was so surreal to see.

"I always hear about flings happening between costars on set.." You admitted. "But...my time with him was much more than that. He's treated me better than most, that's for sure."

"You haven't seen him since the beginning of the year, yes?" The host asked. "Has that been hard for you?"

You smiled sadly, placing a hand on your chest some. "It's not impossible, but it's been hard. I'm not upset about it, though. We've both become incredibly busy rather quickly. He's got his play, which I hear is amazing, and I've been streaming practically 7 times a week now that I've had the time again."

"Well, it's good to know you're staying optimistic." The host replied.

"Yeah.." you nodded a bit. "It's been...a little harder these last couple days, though. We call each other multiple days a week."

"Do you have a song you like to listen to?" The host asked, smirking some. "One that reminds you of him?"

You took a moment to really think about that. The question brought you back to the time you and Tom went to the grocery store and Time After Time came on the radio in the car, and when he kissed you in front of everyone in that clothing shop, the same song played. You had downloaded the song on to your phone after that day. You didn't realize how important it was to you until now. Tom even had it on his phone, last time you checked.

"Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time', maybe?.." You admitted with a shy chuckle. "It's played a couple times during my days with Tom. I downloaded it after people found out we were together because it was playing in that clothing store when he kissed me."

"Awe, that's sounds perfect.." The host smiled brightly, one of his hands moving under the desk. "You think Tom would give the same answer?" They asked.

"I mean, he's into the older styles of music.." You chuckled, a little confused. "I could call him and ask him later.."

You were too focused on the show host to hear footsteps come upstairs on to the stage, though the surprise was ruined by the sudden erupting screams and applause from the audience.

You turned around just in time for the host to start playing that song over the little speaks around set as you and the man locked eyes.

It was Tom.

You couldn't believe it.

Your eyes immedietly watered as you got up from your seat and ran to Tom, seeing him open out his arms to you. You ran right into his arms, wrapping your arms around his body. You almost didn't believe that this was real. It felt like a dream. How was he here? How did he make time for this?

You pulled back and cupped his face with both hands, already nearly sobbing just from the sight of him.

"Are you actually here!?" You asked with a happy whimper. It warmed your heart to see his big smile. He was emotional, too.

"I managed to find some extra time to get a flight down.." Tom chuckled, though he wasn't able to explain himself fully just yet. Hearing his voice so close to you made you want to just break into happy tears right then and there, so you pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. You heard the audience go nuts, making you smile in the kiss. Tom pulled you closer to him, keeping the kiss locked until he remembered you were supposed to be doing an interview. He pulled back and gestured to the seats, holding your hand as you both sat down.

You could barely keep your eyes off of Tom for the whole rest of the interview. Afterwards, you'd say goodbye to everyone and leave the building together. You spoke outside once you reached his car.

"I've got another surprise for you.." Tom admitted, giving you a warm smile as he let go of your hand. He moved into his car for a moment and pulled out something before going back to you. He revealed 2 one-way tickets. Tickets to the UK.

"Would you still like to move in with me, my love?.." He asked you, looking into your eyes with his big, blue orbs.

Your eyes widened some and your heart skipped a beat. You placed your hand over your mouth before giving a shaky chuckle. "A-Are you serious?..." You asked, seeing him nod.

"With one phone call to a familiar moving company and a day or two, you can be living with me.." Tom spoke. "All I need is a Y--"

"Yes! Hell yes!" You chuckled happily before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into another close hug. Tom flinched before chuckling, hugging you back for a moment before pulling back to give you another deep kiss, inhaling some to take in how soft your lips were. The joy you felt in your heart couldn't be properly described.

You pulled back from the kiss to wipe all the tears that had run down your cheeks, including some of the makeup makeup had on. "I'm gonna end up crying all day.." you joked with a chuckle.

Tom chuckled as well, smirking some. "I could give you other reasons to have tears in your eyes.."

Oh god, you had a feeling he hadn't gotten over this flirtatious phase he's had with you.

Then again...

You chuckled some. "It's been a couple months hasn't it?" You asked, biting yhe corner of your lower lip.

"Mhmm.." Tom purred somewhat "and I've learned some things.."

"Have you, now?.." You tilted your head some, getting a nod from Tom.

"Indeed I have.." Tom grinned. "And there's a certain...doctor who has been dying to meet you."

You knew who he was talking about. You recently rewatched High-Rise.

"Ooh, I guess I shouldn't keep him waiting, then.." You purred back with a little wink, moving around him to get into the passenger side.

Tom snickered some, getting into the drivers side.

You bet there would be quite a bit of steamy love after packing.

[missbunnyz]

Dear Taylor,

I cant count the number of times on two hands, over the past thirteen years I've been following you and your music, that I've started to write to you only to scrap it because I was either too shy or felt anything I had to say you probably have heard many times over.

But not today. I've decided to write an open letter to you because you've inspired me to come out of my shell, and I think Tumblr is the best way to get your attention 😊💜♠️.

Hi Taylor! My name is Tyler (female) 😊. I have so much to say, I dont even know where to start.

I'm twenty-four years old and from a town about 35 minutes from where you grew up in Pennsylvania! I am currently attending Kutztown University 😊. Like many other older fans (and I know, totally not original), I discovered you when I was eleven and heard your single "Tear Drops On My Guitar" on the radio. I asked my dad to buy me the CD, which he did. I remember spending hours on my dads back porch listening to your debut album on my little portable CD player.

When your Fearless album came out, I was a freshman in highschool, just a few years shy of your song Fifteen. But nonetheless, it still sat with me. I listened to it almost every morning of my freshman year on the morning bus ride to school.

I actually find it kind of funny that your Speak Now album actually reflected a lot of my thoughts and feelings at the time I was a sophomore in highschool, just 16 years old: Sad. Depressed. Kind of angry. But still we both had so much love inside us, and for you I can see that clearly within your songs.

One of my favorite songs of yours is All Too Well. I've listened to it countless times, crying with you through the song. Lyrically, it's so beautiful and cleverly stitched together. It's such a shame that you received so much hate during the Red Era, and I've cried many tears with and for you over the years. I've included your story in numerous essays and papers I've written throughout my years in college. One of those essays, by the way, got a 100% 😏.

I really feel like I know you, and we are soooo alike. I was reading your essay in the Elle US Magazine and what caught my attention in particular is what you said about your mom never having to punish you because you punished yourself enough. I had, and actually sometimes still have that problem. It's a symptom of severe anxiety. And from checking up on you so often over the years, I see your anxiety in your body language.

Theres more I see in your body language. In every single picture of you with fans, you have a genuine smile on your face. Often times you're leaning into a fan, which really shows how comfortable you are with us.

I see your body language with your friends too. You are such a loving and thoughtful person. Sending them flowers, skyping them on their birthday, lending them your body guards, etc. You really care so much, and I love you so much for that.

I would really love to meet you and tell you all this and more in person. All of my friends tell me they associate your name with me 😂.

Oh! Just a little fun fact: according to my Apple Music, I've listened to How You Get The Girl over 180 times 😂😂. I know, I have a problem ;-;.

Oh, I also wanted to tell you that I was at your Reputation Philadelphia show #2 😊. I was so close to you as you walked from one side stage to the other, but I'm still really shy so I couldnt bring myself to push through the crowd to see you. But after you got onto the right (for us) side stage, I was barely twelve feet away from you. You were so close and all I could do was stand there and smile at you with tears in my eyes. I can never bring myself to be loud and scream for you like your other fans (I'm too shy and quiet around people I dont know). But I loved every bit of standing there listening to you perform. You're so gorgeous girl, you've really been looking great lately. I know you dont know me, so this may mean nothing to you, but I'm so incredibly proud of you. You've come so far over the past thirteen years and have accomplished so much. You should really be proud of yourself too.

I also really want to say how much of an inspiration you have been to me, especially recently. Ever since I discovered you and your music, I've strived to be as kind a person as I can. Albeit I've failed numerous times, I still really try to love people.

You've also really helped me be more comfortable with who I am recently. I am a femme gay cis female, and, with you being my idol, your open support and inclusion of the LGBT community has helped me be more open about my sexuality. I've been more comfortable talking about it with strangers and even friends recently, and I've even added a rainbow ribbon to my lanyard! 😊

I really just cant properly express how much I love and care about you and your well-being. I wish I had reached out to you at the beginning of your career and established a connection with you then. Having had severe social anxiety my whole life, I've pretty much have always just loved and supported you from afar, hardly interacting with you or the fandom itself. I love you @taylorswift, and I really hope to hear back from you or your team 💜💜.

With all my heart,

Tyler

p.s. To the swiftie fandom, I would be so appreciative if you reblogged this post and tagged Taylor in it 😊💜. Please and thank you!