#I've actually never properly watched it
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I should watch Spooks.
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Not gonna lie, I'm super excited about the upcoming One Piece live action series! It's out Aug 31 on Netflix. I actually think it's gonna be good! 🤞🤞🤞
#reminder that the strike has NOT called for a boycott from viewers!#we want to show that we want more of this show and that Netflix has to pay their writers properly if they want to keep profiting from it#don't forget: the continuation of a popular show is a bargaining chip for the writers#one piece#one piece live action#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#sanji#when I first heard about the LA years ago I thought they were crazy#manga live actions are never good and OP is basically unfilmable#but when the strawhat cast was revealed I sat up straight and started paying attention#they were all spot on! absolutely unheard of in a live action!#and everything I've seen and heard about it since has just seemed so promising#early reviews are starting to come out and they're all positive#guys I think they did it#I think... Netflix actually made a good live action adaptation??#and of OP of all thing?!?!#(I won't be able to watch it until Sunday though so I'm gonna have to stay off the internet completely to avoid spoilers! TAT)
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Sometimes I just get the most nonsensical crossover ideas.
Doki Doki Literature Club! Milgram Edition
Does this make sense? No.
Was it fun to draw? Yes!
And that's what's important!
#milgram#mikoto kayano#haruka sakurai#shidou kirisaki#fuuta kajiyama#doki doki literature club au#i think this might be the first time i've properly drawn shidou#the reason it's only the boys is because i wanted to make a separate version for the girls#sorry for the lack of kazui there's only 4 characters in ddlc#minus the protagonist but nobody cares about him#fun fact! shidou's shoes are the same purple as his prisoner color while everyone else's is blue#just like how monika's shoes are different from everyone else's#fuuta ties his jacket around waist to emulate his Bring It On knight outfit (i really hope his T3 outfit does this)#i wanted to fuck his tie up (to imply he doesn't know how to tie a tie) but then realized that he'd probably be the type of person to#watch a tutorial to tie it once and then just loosen it to remove it and never untie the knot#this was originally a sketch but i got a bit carried away and colored it#I wonder how obvious my struggle with haruka's pose is#his upper legs look off but i don't want to keep changing it over and over again#random thought! Natsuki's first 2 poems actually sort of fit Fuuta I think#i can imagine him writing Eagles Can Fly#Both Sayori and Mikoto are also people pleasers and depressed so yeah#and Shidou gives me a Monika vibes IDK why
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"yeah so I've started watching Horizons 'cause the plot looked interesting"
the plot that looked interesting:
#fluff binges !!!#I am horrifically predictable#my friend and I watched episode 18 on its own from a suggestion and we were just Instantly sold#SIMPING ASIDE it's actually really good!!!!!#about to watch the first ep to properly begin and catch up hehe#(no spoilers!!! I'll mayhaps update where I am in the series over time :})#I never actually watched the og pkmn anime (mainly from personal preference) but somehow I've felt drawn to Horizons lately#I think it helps being a new gen/cast so it's less intimidating to get into? if that makes sense#but hey shoutout to pokemon for making me actually watch anime for the first time in my decades of living lmaooooo#(^this is completely serious btw I genuinely don't watch anime regulary- though I was surrounded by friends who did sndfhsudhfns)#fluffs character development /j#pokemon horizons#friede#pokemon friede
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as someone who isn't a supernatural fan but is culturally superwholock,,
#this is how i felt when the anonymous songs poll posted carry on my wayward son#i've never watched the show and yet i felt Dread#good song though! never actually. listened to it properly before dhhdd it's good!!
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The Rosemary Tree is the first time I've had to put down a book so I could sob over how beautiful it was.
#elizabeth goudge how do you keep doing this?#her books are such a strange thing for me#either they're 'yes it's pretty but could you please get to the point and have something happen?'#or i am slammed with waves and waves of intense overwhelming emotion so i almost can't stand how deeply it affects me#i think it helps to read it at the same time of year the story occurs#the dean's watch during advent was a life-changing experience#and now reading this book in march is having a very similar effect#i actually had to go in a room by myself to properly cry#because someone caught me tearing up#and how could i begin to explain that i'm sobbing my heart out because miss giles is reading the secret garden?#i've cried over sad moments in books but i've never felt anything like this#such intense joy and sorrow all mixed in so you can't tell which emotion is causing the tears#it's been like two hours since that happened and i'm still shook#my world is upended#and i'm being reminded in an entirely new way of what really great literature can do#the rosemary tree#elizabeth goudge
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LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all
#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics#and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows#y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV#but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it#like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think#and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there#he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen#I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great#so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence#until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic#occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff#but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog#and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot#but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING#if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise#oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old#possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like#spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao#but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything#but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but#I wouldn't trust my own knowledge
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2023 go bye bye
#999 spoilers#art summary#art summery 2023#my art#shoutout to all my monster high drawings that are still in the oven#I haven't posted them anywhere but! my friends made them pins and I've sold them on cons throughout the year :3#I only started drawing them as a request from a boothmate actually and they're such fun designs to draw!!!#I went to a lot of local conventions to participate in the artist's alley and made so many friends that way it was wonderful#I think the next thing I'll reblog will be the game I worked on!#found out the nda doesn't cover me simply saying 'hey I worked on this thing coming out in a few months!'#so I made artist and cosplayer friends selling my art on the beach and I got my first proper job#....then I proceeded to give me a shoulder inflammation because my setup was terrible and it had to catch up to me eventually#but! already managed to get a new tablet and desk for myself!! it's even a screen tablet so there'll be a learning curve but I'm excited#I'm hoping this display will make things easier I always had trouble sketching on digital#and I am more carefully taking breaks now also because turns out relying on hiperfocus is bad for you? never knew#I was going through some stuff in the middle of the year there though I had so many vent drawings of akane from may to october qwq#not featured here are the tons of utena and umineko wips I have accumulated those were my favorite new media I got to experience for sure#in fact I'm watching the adolescence movie rn!! what in tarnation is this last act lol whatever! go Anthy go!!! floor it queen#also not featured the tons of oc stuff I made :D I'm glad I feel like I can start properly working on them soon ^^#but yeah that's that I felt like writing a whole diary entry in these tags and you read it and that's what tumblrs all about ♡♥︎
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me rn having the biggest hots for leon kennedy and astarion sorry LMFAOOO <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#^___^ me smiling innocently#bg3 is on the MIND !!! i dearly want it so badly. turns out my dad played 1/2 (not sure which) a looong time ago#but he never got too far i think bcs he's busy... :P but hey i love him. wow. it's really cool he knows it too (ofc he does lmfao)#me and him (handshake emoji) also never getting far in da origins yet bcs we have it on xbox bcs of him getting it a long time ago#but there's that bug in the mage tower... :( funny we both went thru it LMFAO <//3 anyway i got it on steam so i've been playing#again but not recently anymore since 1. ffxiv took over my life last days of summer again 2. summer is over back school so rip#anyway can u tell i love fantasy :)) da and bg babeyyy !!! my type is going to make you guys cry i'm so obvious#zevran... fenris... astarion... i have a thing for ppl w blond/white hair :P idk my fav in inquisition yet and idk anything abt bg1&2 yet#but Yeah. GHBSHJGBSHJG..... da origins is kinda funny (lack of better word) to me btw bcs i like all four main romance options#but it's hard to explain (i have a story behind stuff i want to share but it's tiring and annoying of me /hj !!!!!)#anyway i like blond elves if it wasn't obvious. yes i also like link and zelda from loz. yes i like legolas. yes i like#...anyway! so where does re fit in this? uh. u see i'm a coward actually i'm too scared to play re LMFAOOO#BTU I ADORE THE LORE and the characters and the game franchise and shit ^_^ just. i shld really watch it sometime#instead of reading wikis all the time and just soaking up all the knowledge but i'm. a Coward. okay#i can't even play bloodborne despite how nerdy i am over it... it's so scary to poor little me... i'm a coward (it's the harsh truth).....#anwyay i'll conquer my fears one day but that day is NOT SOON !!! i wna get into re properly tho aside from just being a nerd#so i'm too scared to play but i'll watch playthroughs sometime (and admire leon) <3 yeah. another blond. i know. shut up.#is this my life rn am i just infatuated w blonds and white haired guys. it's gna be hell if i continue nier replicant rn too huh#uh. goodnight!
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Nah, nevermind, I don't feel like I can properly comb through everything on my own. I'm just gonna get shit wrong, miss things, or otherwise get yelled at.
I'm just gonna rb stuff.
Read the tags as I go off there but. yeah.
Thanks to the people who helped point things out to me. As a bit of an explanation on my own end, I had just woken up lol. I was groggy and that was the first thing I did before even getting out of bed. I really should have waited, but curiosity got the best of me, so.
Whatever.
#this is about james s-merton btw. censored to keep this out of the main tags#yeah feeling like shit rn#not like i didnt have it coming#i am a gullible person and I know i am#i tried to be critical about james' apology and i only managed to notice two (2) things while actively watching#and as a filmmaker I DO still relate to the telos thing#but i think that relatablity is making it hard for me to pick out lies during that section and i HAVE noticed he lies throughout the video#I'm just not the person to properly call him out on it#i will say though that his whole 'memory issues' thing is ACTUALLY making me mad#mfer *I* have memory issues you don't get to use that as an excuse#especially since he talks about stuff on stream so much#if it really was a thing A) why is there no evidence for it? and B) why has he never talked about it before?#I didn't believe him for a second even though- when i first saw it- i REALLY wanted to#but now that i've had time to think about it it's just pissing me off#you don't get to pretend to be disabled to try and win brownie points.#even if he DOES have memory issues that DOESNT MEAN copy+pasting is suddenly okay!?#the other thing i noticed up-front was just the monetization thing- which i had admittedly forgotten about by the time I made the post#(again I had just woken up)#and that was super fucking shitty#while i was at work thinking about this i rewatched Todd in the Shadow's video and a vid debunking the apology (drama mama i think?)#and i kinda wanna rewatch now that i've had a refresher but i also dont wanna give him more money#so i won't#like i said im just gonna reblog stuff#fuck you james. genuinely. it's OVER get OFF the internet.#if you DO wanna stick around then DONT MONETIZE IT.#dimond speaks
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what if i day to this guy "literally what the fuck are you even talking about" is that rude . i think he has feelings for me but i have been deliberately short cold and half ghosting him
#he is apparently drinking tonight and he literally texted me that he thought he would be able to 'grow a pair' if he drank#lmfao lol. we barely speak . shut up#<- on purpose as well#like very very on purpose#cel speaks#like a month ago he texted me like hop in call i have something to tell you#and i went is it something funny lol#i refuse to be part of your little games i will sidetrack Everything as hard as i can#he gave up abt it also after i said that he was like never mind it can wait#also if we message semi often (often to me) i WILL give you energy and attention i am actually busy so i promise i am not ghosting !!#sometimes i don't have things to say but i will be texting i will be replying !!!!!!!!#just like . pursuing me doesn't work especially when it's . i've already rejected this guy. i don't understand why he's holding on#anyways i am finished complaining#i had a pretty decent day today! i dyed my hair purple and i smell like dye chemicals hehehe#also my laser sun burn is looking a bit better and it's not itching anymore which is good#i think i should call my laser place about it tomorrow bc i'm a little concerned i'm not looking after it properly?#also i watched one (1) episode of naruto with my friend and that was very fun#we couldn't watch anymore bc he had plans#and i am now reading manhwa
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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Yuzu watch five minutes of a stream without developing a burning desire to do the same thing challenge (impossible)
#usually at least it's a favorite who does this to me#this time a vtuber I've never actually watched has me wanting to properly learn mahjongg#(it's eggy)#(one of the many I've followed forever and thought seemed cool but never quite made it to her streams)
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heres me making a post to update the void on my survival minecraft world because i’m actually making progress on a solo survival world for like the first time ever despite being on the actual worse seed ever wooo
01/07/23 — I finished my house by putting the roof on and I was finally able to make enough bookshelves to have a full enchanting set up and then was like shit i need xp so i went mining and caving and after a long while actually found a skeleton spawner in the cave underneath me, so i turned that into a farm, lowkey failing miserably but i made it work in the end, then decided i want mending because i form too much of an emotional attachment to my tools and went over the the village near me (the worst village ever actually) and struggled for hours trying to get a mending trade, during which i accidentally punched 3 separate villagers, finally got mending with the third, used all of my sugar cane to make paper to trade with him, got a fletcher, chopped down trees to trade sticks with him, and eventually got myself one (1) mending book, put it on my pickaxe, and logged off
#teegs plays mc#also this is like day 5 or something#i've never actually played minecraft properly other than a bit on smps with my friends#i watch a lot of it as you can tell#but i have a tiny macbook pro so its a pain in the butt in the first place so i just dont bother most of the time#but i've been playing on my days off and i've been making a lot of progress its been fun!#i'm not dying ever 2 seconds anymore its great#wish i realized how bad the seed was before i decided to keep it tho#like i'm just using a world i started a while ago but oh boy#i literally spawned in an ocean and had to boat forever to find land#which was a shattered savanna which is ugly#so got some resources and eventually travelled forever until i was on actually land and not an island#this is just for me#ignore this lmao
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i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru
#i don't talk about fandom stuff much here since i don't really get involved with it#but i do fixate on characters and right now i am circling around him like a wolf#tempted to draw him too but i can never capture his big beautiful eyes properly#i've also been tempted to draw beefcake laios but UHHhh thats for another day and i dont know if i will share that LOL#i finished the manga but i haven't had the energy to watch more of the show so i'm just thinking about the characters on my own and going :#also contemplating if i should draw a pride pfp (unrelated)#basically there is so much to do and it is overwhelming to work through the list#and i keep wanting to add more to it#also need to promo my commissions again more and add those sketches still but trying to figure out how to price them and don't have the#energy to type up explanations for them yet blagh#and i'm trying to balance that “realistically- i need more income coming in” with also “but i can't overwhelm myself with tasks”#<- which is very unambiguously clear that i do that just fine even without working on things for other people#is it obvious that my therapist relocated and i haven't been given a new one yet.#i can therapize myself So Good (actually overthinking and spiraling)#<- but please do not worry this is actually not a bad spiral which is good it is just a “things to do” spiral but it is fortunately#missing the key component of doom and horror and the world ending because i did not accomplish everything right#which is what a bad spiral contains and i've actually been on a pretty good streak avoiding those lately in spite of circumstances!#but if i linger on it it will probably turn into a lie so i will stop doing that#speaking of shows i watched the new episode of kaiju no. 8 today and i am just aggghrrhekrjskfj#i love hoshina so much#and he's been getting a lot of focus in these episodes so im happy#i love the way they animate his fights like!! wow#i need to watch them all on sakugabooru later#but i can't tonight if i want to do things#but i will later because they deserve frame-by-frameing#also i'm going to go pick up two volumes of wind breaker tomorrow i think#unfortunately i ordered them before i learned my hours were getting cut but#i have enough to cover my bills this month and since i'm not buying lunches or dinner for myself anymore because i'm not leaving the house#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long#and let that be my last personal purchase for awhile
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