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hey-op-just-kill-me · 4 years ago

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OK get ready for some quotes, I have so many....

I’m just gonna list them off the top of my head. some will be funny and some will be quotes that I really love and I think are really powerful

“you’re a toaster“-Starship

"In case you were wondering *rolls out from behind pillar and stands up* The 'D' stands for my wiener."- a very potter sequel

“i’m sure it’s an honest mistake on account of Oscar can’t count to 20 with his shoes on”-Bway Newsies

“History isn't something you look back at and say it was inevitable, it happens because people make decisions that are sometimes very impulsive and of the moment, but those moments are cumulative realities."-Marsha P. Johnson

“sit down you inarticulate bumble”-a very potter musical

“Ron: Favorite Aimee Mann song on three. One, two, three... Harry and Ron: Red Vines. Harry: Favorite color of vines, other than green. Harry and Ron: Red Vines. Ron: Favorite way to say 'red wines' in a German accent. Harry and Ron: Red Vines. OH MY GOD! *bro hug*” - a very potter sequel

“More like supermegafoxyawesomehot”-a very potter musical

“All of us who are openly gay are living and writing the history of our movement. We are no more – and no less – heroic than the suffragists and abolitionists of the 19th century; and the labor organizers, Freedom Riders, Stonewall demonstrators, and environmentalists of the 20th century. We are ordinary people, living our lives, and trying as civil-rights activist Dorothy Cotton said, to ‘fix what ain’t right’ in our society.”–Senator Tammy Baldwin

“Oh my God, I have to fight a goat? I don't think I can do that morally... *later* Oh my god I have to fight a dragon! I can't do that I'm just a little kid!"- a very potter musical

"There's no way we're losing to Slytherin, or Ravenclaw, or...Jigglypuff."- a very potter sequel

"There's only one thing to do: I have to die. I love you all... except you Draco. I can't f**king stand you."-a very potter musical

"Your irrational fear of the potty... Why else would you have such a little D? IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING ELF!"- a very potter sequel

"Gay as the Fourth of July...oh you mean the hat."- a very potter sequel

“it‘s not that. it‘s Hermione. I can‘t get her out of my head. It’s just every time I look at her I get these pains in my chest, and I just know it’s her fault, that bitch!” - a very potter musical

"Actually I have heard those things, Harry, about a thousand times, but never have they been told to me with so much sass. Drop the attitude, Harry Potter. You are acting like Garfield on a Monday.” -a very potter musical

"For 11 years I was a Muggle douchebag living under some stairs. This year I found out I'm a wizard, and I'm famous. I can fly and turn invisible...and I just traveled the f*** back in time! So f*** you, Draco. How's that for a happy thought?” - a very potter sequel

“Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst.”- Bojack horseman

“There has been another mass shooting. I am totally unqualified to cover a news story this important, but as a straight white male, I will plow forward with confidence and assume I’m doing fine!”- Bojack horseman

(honestly if you look up “Bojack horseman funny quotes” you’ll find an insane amount! That show is genuinely one of the most equally powerful and hilarious things I’ve ever seen in my life)

“Hahaha, hahaha. Now you're just being cute. I can't GO to Pigfarts, Potter. It's ON MARS. You need a rocketship. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Look at this! Look at this! It's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!”- a very potter musical

"I was in the car with my parents when we crashed...into a crocodile. My parents got eaten but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar.”- a very potterr sequel

"Mrs. Granger, you have to have learned by now that when one of you has gots a problem, all three of you has gots a problem. What would Zac Efron say at a time like this? 'We're all in this together...'"- a very potter musical

“Diane, I am a famous — everyone gives me everything I want all the time. It is an existential curse, but a huge day-to-day convenience.”- Bojack Horseman

“Well, I believe everything has its place. Muggles have their place. Mudbloods have their place. And so do your clothes. Namely, A DRESSER!"- a very potter musical

“Slap my salami, the guy’s a commie.”- Bojack horseman

“"Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? Hermione Granger. You know what I'd give her on a scale of one to ten, with one as the ugliest and ten as the prettiest? I'd give her an 8... 8.5... or a 9... but not... NOT over a 9.8. Because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone is perfect, like me. I'm holding out for a 10. Because I'm worth it."- a very potter musical

"You gotta roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy." - a very potter musical (spoken by Voldemort)

"So basically, I've being putting everyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, a bad guy into Slytherin and the others can go wherever the hell they want." - a very potter musical

“Totally, the best class by far is satanic rituals.”- a very potter sequel

Okay so first @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside thank you so much for sending me so many. 2nd and this is a quick disclaimer I’ve never actually seen AVPM or the spin off but I did find them all very funny so thank you I love you so much.

Please enjoy my very shitty handwriting

#woah not newsies for once #long post #i’m sorry

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jzixuans · 6 years ago

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Hey, I've been feeling down recently and was wondering if you had any Logince headcannons. Platonic or romantic work, whichever you feel more comfortable with. Sorry if I'm bothering you.

aw lad don’t worry about bothering me i’m glad to share some headcanons ! i hope you feel better soon!

now, might i interest you in some childhood friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers logince? [PREPARE FOR A LONG ASS BULLET FIC I’M SO SORRY (google docs says it’s 4.2k words oh my god)]

they’ve known each other since the first grade because oh my god they were neighbours

they were the kind of childhood friends that were aware of each other’s presence and they hung out a little on the playground and worked on group projects but they didn’t really click

there WERE occasions tho where their parents would sit them down together for play dates bc one or more of said parents were Occupied with Important Adult Stuff

and since this was way back when they were wee lil smols, they were hyperactive lil children

so they played lots of adventure games, lots of role-playing, play fighting, that kind of stuff (twas often the dashing daring prince accompanied by his wise magickal advisor)

okay, so maybe they did click, but only a little (so they say)

they liked most of the same stuff, reading, learning, doing stuff with all that knowledge in those big brains of theirs, and that was pretty much the base of their close-but-not-that-close-friendship

and then they got older, and as all kids do, they started prioritizing different things

logan still loved learning and applying that knowledge, but it was more of a ‘learn and apply what knowledge can make you really successful’ and that was how he found his love of science

for roman, it was more of a ‘take what you’ve learned and use it to create your own path to success’ because he planned to go into music and theatre

as a result of this, both boys were exceptional students, except logan cared maybe a little too much about the academics and roman not enough

as the years went by, logan threw himself into studying, making schedules and routines so that he could make sure he knows what he needs to know and maybe a little bit more on the side, who cares if he lost an hour of two of sleep?

roman just learned to go with the flow, so he took everything in stride, took in what he needed, left the rest, and focused on his art instead, even if he’s started to grow an unhealthy apathy to school

and maybe logan falls just short of perfect on his tests, and he looks over and roman has glowing one hundreds in red ink on his

logan looks back down at his and the teacher has written ‘Think outside the box!’

meanwhile logan answers every question in class with scary accuracy, beaming with pride whenever the teacher praises him, and after school that same day roman gets pulled aside with an ‘I know you’re smart, so why don’t you want to put in the work?’

of course logan’s parents wonder why his grades don’t match his progress work, and roman’s parents wonder how he can spend all his time singing and dancing and still come out with high nineties (“is he cheating?”)

and the two have been drifting apart enough as it was, but now they kind of hate each other because ‘why can’t i just be more like him?’

logan starts hating roman because ‘he doesn’t even CARE, how is he doing better than me?’ (part of him misses the days when roman cared so much about anything and everything)

roman starts hating logan because ‘he’s so stiff and condescending, why can’t he just be happy for me?’ (and part of him misses when logan would so willingly stand by his side as his faithful warlock advisor)

so naturally, competition just kind of,,,, grows between them, until they’re constantly at each other’s throats and everyone else watching the shitshow go down has absolutely no idea where the hell all this animosity came from

at this point logan has a new friend in virgil fray and roman has befriended patton hart (virgil and patton know not to bring up the boys’ ‘rivalry’)

of course, being neighbours, they can’t exactly escape each other, and their rooms are adjacent to each other’s (they used to just lean out their windows and talk side by side, but they haven’t in yEARS)

so it’s nearing summer, and it’s hot out so roman’s working on his homework with the window open when he hears this cry of frustration, the angry pushing back of a chair, and the throwing open of the door

his first thought is one of smug satisfaction knowing that logan is dealing with school worse than he is, but then a flash of black catches his eye underneath his window

he makes it to the window just in time to see logan hop the fence in his backyard, and that only means one thing: he’s going to the old park behind their houses

neither of them have touched that park in ages

roman is Intrigued™, so he caps his pen, turns off his lamp and tells his parents he’s going for a walk before dashing out the back door

when he gets to the park, logan’s somehow managed to climb on top of the roof of the play structure

and roman ain’t slick so he just stands at the bottom and yells up to him

and logan is Lost In Thought so he nearly falls off (lbr roman thought it was funny)

“what are you doing here?”

“well excuse me, suck-rates, i happened to notice that you weren’t doing too hot and wanted to see if you were okay.”

“like you’ve ever cared.”

“woah there, is blink 180-ew rubbing off on you?”

“lay off of him.”

“alright, alright, fine. forgive me for checking in on you.”

“you have a horrible way of showing people that you care, then.”

“well you have a horrible way of being a good friend.”

it just kind of,,,, slipped out, and now both boys are Oh Shit

but both boys are also not the type to back down from their feelings so they kind of have the Silent Stare-Off of Stubborness

roman decides to be the bigger person (bc any chance to one-up logan) and cave first

“so uh, what’s been bothering you?” (psh you thought he was gonna apologize first? not yet fam)

logan rolls his eyes bc this asshole amirite, but he wants to vent and this is probably his best opportunity to tell roman what’s really been bugging him

“i don’t know how you manage to do it.”

“do what?”

“do so well in school! you don’t even try!” and damn dude that one stings because he sounds exactly like his parents and every other teacher

“so you’re angry because you’re jealous that i’m better than you at everything.”

“that’s not what i meant and you know it.”

“i’ll have you know that i do try.”

“but you don’t care.”

“about school.”

“what?”

“i mean yeah, sure, i don’t care about school that much because i don’t really need it to go into music or theatre, but i still do my work.”

“but―”

“don’t you dare say anything about my grades because you know damn well that you’re smarter than me.”

“am not―”

“besides, weren’t you the one that told me in the fifth grade that ‘grades don’t mean shit’? my my, what a foul mouth for ten-year-old logan crane.”

“shut up.”

“nah.”

and by now logan’s decided that roman’s probably not going to rip his head off so he climbs down to stand beside him

and maybe the sun is setting bc i’m a classy romantic

and they’re having a Soft Quiet Moment

“…please don’t tell me that school was the only reason why u hated me.”

“… why did you hate me?” smh lo you’ve got to stop deflecting

“…”

“are you kidding me.”

“YOU STARTED IT”

“what no you did shut up”

and wOw now it’s awkward so

“oh would you look at that, it’s getting late, my parents are gonna think that i’m slacking again, better go. good talk let’s do this again sometime okay byee” and whoop roman just zooms off

and logan realizes that maybe roman’s life isn’t as perfect as he makes it out to be

but too late roman’s gone and he doesn’t want to look like he’s following him so he waits a good half hour before trekking back home

logan doesn’t finish his homework that night because he’s too busy rethinking the past many many years

the next day, he’s frantically trying to cram his work in during his lunch period

virgil takes one look at him and he says “dude, are you okay?”

“no”

“cool, let me know if i can do anything to help.” and maybe it’s a cold answer but logan and virgil are cold edgy people so that’s just how they do

after like twenty minutes virgil takes out his earbuds like “you haven’t complained or sent one angry glare in roman’s direction what the fuck is up kyle”

“i’m just…. stressed.”

virgil, externally: “yeah of course i feel u dude.”

virgil, internally: “i’ve seen you start a project at 3am the morning it was due without breaking a sweat but go off i guess.”

skip to later that night, logan finished his shit (he needed a distraction from the Roman Crisis) so he leans out his window for some Fresh Summer Night Air

and oho would you look at that roman had that sa m e i d ea

but it’s one of those clear nights where you can actually see the stars and logan just got roman off his mind so he’s a lil distracted

but of course roman notices and now that they’ve gotten some of their ‘rivalry’ out of the way, he remembers how much logan loved to drag him out to the park as late as they were allowed to stay up to watch the stars, and logan looks so at peace here (he’s only really seen logan’s angry face recently)

roman wants to say something, because part of him really wants to make up with logan

but before he can work up the courage he’s interrupted by his mom calling him

“roman! are you done all your work?”

“yeah, mom! almost!”

“you better be going to sleep early tonight!”

and roman is about to duck back inside before he gets yelled at even more but oh no too late logan’s already noticed and now he’s staring at him

“uh, hey.”

“hi.”

“are you, uh, are you feeling better?”

“for the most part, yes.”

“that’s good. look, uh, i gotta go, but i’ll see you at school?”

“oh, right, yes. good night, roman.”

“night, lo.”

roman falls back into his room with a crash because ‘oh my god why was that more nerve-wracking than any performance i’ve ever done?”

logan sinks back against his wall with a sigh because ‘is roman avoiding me now?’

the next day at school the two actually say hi to each other in the hallway and it’s like the entire world stops moving. students are staring and whispering, virgil and patton exchange looks, and logan and roman only just now realize how big their rivalry had gotten

the two lock eyes and burst into laughter because something as simple as a passing greeting in the hallway has turned the school on its head

and the rest of the school has absolutely no idea what just happened when the two part ways, virgil and patton trailing behind them, dumbfounded

they catch each other on the way home, though they walk in silence

that night, they’re back at their windows, side by side once more, and they exchange small talk

a couple weeks later, exams are coming up around the corner and both boys are stressed out of their minds

logan’s still working well past midnight when he hears the old creak of roman’s window opening

“i see your lamp. are you still up?” he hears roman whisper, and maybe it’s the late hour, but his voice is hoarse and wobbly, and logan is most certainly not used to hearing that

“that’s a ridiculous question, of course i’m still up,” logan replies, still not looking up from his computer because his history final project is due in two days

except roman doesn’t reply, and all he can hear from his direction is shaky laughter, and then a wet sniff

“of course i’m ridiculous. it’s not like i’m smart or anything.”

“what?”

“if i were smart i wouldn’t’ve procrastinated this english paper and i could probably be getting some sleep right now,” roman continues like he forgot that logan was there

“roman―“

“and sure, i can do other stuff, but it’s not like it matters or anything, not to my mom, or mr. schmitt, or you―”

“roman!”

roman’s babbling stops and logan worries that he’s scared him off until he looks up and sees roman leaning halfway out his window and now logan’s worried that roman’s going to fall out and break his neck on his patio

roman’s eyes are red and his nose is rubbed raw from crying. his usually-perfectly-coiffed hair is messy and greasy from running his hands through it, his clothes are rumpled, and his grip on the windowsill is trembling

yet he’s still half out the window, eyes comically wide, and logan can’t help but shake his head at how big a dork he is

“i’m sorry.”

roman’s so startled that his elbows buckle and he barely manages to land back in his room so he doesn’t fall (didn’t expect logan to apologize first, didya?)

he’s barely back out the window when logan starts talking again

“i shouldn’t have dismissed you so quickly. you are intelligent and you are capable and you absolutely didn’t deserve any of my anger or bitterness or hatred. for that, i’m sorry.”

roman is, SHOCKED, to say the least. when they were kids, usually it was roman who apologized first, if at all, logan only after being prompted to by parents or teachers (which might’ve contributed to their drifting apart)

“i’m― thank you.”

there’s a pause because it’s late and logan is really really bad at this

“i’m sorry, too. i only really hated you because everyone kept comparing us. that wasn’t really fair of me.”

“i guess not.”

“so i guess we both agree that we’re both assholes.”

“essentially.”

“cool.”

“what were you going to talk to me about?” and roman has an ‘oh yeah’ because he completely forgot what he came out here for

“i guess i just missed doing this.”

“i did too.”

and they’re not completely in the clear, because they have years of hurt to clean up, but in that moment, they just sit and talk, and maybe missing one assignment amongst a whole year of perfect grades won’t hurt

they’re butts tired in the morning but neither of them regret it, regardless of virgil and patton’s comments of ‘how much sleep did you get last night? you look like you’re about to pass out.’

that weekend, their finals are all handed in, exams don’t start until the next week, and they’re both sick and tired of studying so logan invites roman over and they lounge in his star-speckled room, talking about everything and nothing

roman’s busy going through logan’s stuff (“what? i haven’t been in here since the summer before the seventh grade”) so logan has a free minute to just,, watch him, and he just now realizes how much he missed having this ball of energy in his life (in a positive way)

after that day, the tension between them is almost gone and conversations are so much easier (virgil and patton get to sigh in relief because ‘thank god, i love them, but they needed to get their shit together’)

but alas, exams approach and roman calls logan late one night, in tears and stressed beyond relief, begging him to meet him at the park (he would’ve called patton, but patton’s never really been under forced academic pressure, and logan’s just a smidge more familiar for him)

logan’s out of the house without another thought, and he sees roman sitting up on the monkey bars with his knees tucked up to his chest (‘oh my god roman don’t you dare fucking fall’)

“i’m sorry, you were probably sleeping, but i just needed to get out of the house and―”

“please don’t apologize for reaching out. what― what’s wrong?”

“i just can’t! my mom’s been threatening to pull me out of music if i don’t do well on this exam because ‘math is more important than music’ but i don’t know anything! i’ve been scraping by pretty well on tests but i can’t fucking study and none of the information is sticking and―”

“roman, you’re hyperventilating. you need to breathe―”

“don’t tell me what to do!” roman regrets this Immediately because logan recoils his hand like he’s been burned. great, just another thing to feel Bad about. “i-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

if this was a month or two ago, logan would’ve had a scathing remark about roman’s inability to control himself but now he just places his hand back on roman’s shoulder and taps gently with his finger

“you remember that school assembly from grade nine? the one about mental health?”

“yeah?”

“can you do that breathing exercise?”

“probably”

ten minutes later, roman’s cried himself out and he’s stopped hyperventilating but he can’t seem to stop his hands from shaking

logan has absolutely no idea what to do but he’s seen patton do it before with some of the younger kids so he holds his arms out (v awkwardly) and goes, “would you― would it be― would a hug help?”

this gets a lil laugh out of roman because he’s trying and that’s adorable so now he’s cry-laughing into logan’s shoulder

“your mother sounds an awful lot like your horrendous dragon witch. i suppose we must simply team up to defeat her.”

roman draws away so fast he bumps into logan’s chin

“OH MY GOD YOU REMEMBER THAT”

“like i could forget it”

“oh my god”

“i mean, i wanted to, but those were… fun times.”

“hell yeah they were.”

“when’s your exam? i can help you study, if you want.”

“in about seven hours.”

“…change of plans, you’re coming back with me, you’re going to sleep for six, wake up, get a cup of tea, and we’re going to do a brief review before school.”

“…okay.”

so they walk back to logan’s house (roman makes sure to tack a note to his bedroom door for his parents, he’ll face the consequences later), and they just, collapse into a pile of leggy boi on logan’s bed (they were too tired to argue about formalities)

logan wakes up with roman clinging to his chest and he very sorely misses that warm cuddly heat but Nope he is Determined™ to help roman get that bread

so he wakes roman up, plops his notes down in front of him and tells him to flip through it while he goes to make breakfast

roman is a jittery Mess all the way up to the exam, but logan promises that he’d be waiting in the cafeteria for him (it was his lunch period’s exam day so he a Free Boi) and he leaves roman with a “you are more capable than you know. you already have everything you need to succeed. and no matter what, you are valid.”

two hours later, roman comes out and he has Zero Confidence in his results, but logan greets him with a clap on the shoulder and the reassurance that “at least you’re done with this.”

they meet up with virgil and patton and go for lunch, and oho, perhaps this is the beginning of a New Squad

at the end of the week, on exam review day logan’s waiting out in the hallway to go to his next class to see his results when he sees roman sprinting down the hall with the biggest grin on his face

“i got an 84!!! thank you, you beautiful blessed nerd!!” because honestly? roman expected nothing more than a 52 so this was a very pleasant surprise, and now roman’s hugging logan so tight that logan swears he heard his elbow pop

the other students of the school are still processing because it was literally only been a little over a month since they started talking to each other again, and anyone out of the loop just got hella whiplash

(and if this burst of happiness and gratitude left a weird, bubbly feeling in logan’s stomach, well, he’ll just keep that to himself)

the next few summer days are spent hanging out, in their rooms, at their windows, at the park, and sometimes, virgil and patton join them

sometimes they’re in roman’s room, roman typing away on his computer with a dozen open notebooks scattered around him while logan lays on his bed, and the two bounce ideas back and forth for the next adventures of the daring prince c and his faithful advisor logos

and then they’re two weeks into the summer break, virgil’s off visiting family in china for the next few weeks and patton’s in the caribbean, so they’re just aimlessly tossing a ball back and forth in roman’s room while they talk about their futures and stuff because “oh my god they’re gonna be high school s e n i o r s in the fall“ ((‘gee, blink, don’t u think that’s a lot of drama for 16 y/os?’ yes absolutely, shut up))

roman chucks the ball at logan, who catches it in one hand and he’s smirking and roman has to take a moment to catch his breath because ‘why was that so hot omg’

over the next couple weeks the two are basically joined at the hip, and when they’re not hanging out, they’re texting or calling each other and it finally feels like they’re really making up for lost time

at the same time, they may or may not be falling for each other and they have no idea what to do with these Feelings™

logan doesn’t know how to what to do because virgil is v aro and the only other person he can talk to is roman, whOM HE HAS A CRUSH ON

meanwhile roman is v frantically texting patton like bro pls call me as soon as u get back there’s a cute boy hELP

it’s nearing the beginning of august when the two go into town to get food and ice cream and they’re laughing and joking and waving melted strawberry ice cream in each other’s faces and they’re sitting on a bench when they lean in real close mid laugh and ‘oh no his face is rIGHT THERE’

they draw away real quick but both of them realize that ‘that wasn’t horrible?’ and they slowly look back at each other and ‘oh.’

“is this―”

“um―”

“is this― i mean if you want it to be ― is this a date?” and roman holds his breath because ‘dear god, please say yes’

“i’d like it to be, yes.” logan is terrified because he does n o t want to fuck this up

except now roman has the biggest grin and he absolutely does not care that he’s got ice cream dripping onto his leg

roman tackles logan into a hug because ‘he’s on a date with logan fucking crane’

logan is thrilled because now he gets to keep this excitable ball of energy who’s made him smile and laugh more in the past couple months than he has in years

(no diss against virgil and patton, but they can’t relate to logan and roman as well as, well, logan and roman)

they both have ice cream on themselves but neither can be bothered to care at this moment because they’re so damn happy

even after they go home that night, they stay up real late at their windows, side by side, just appreciating the company

it’s the next day, and they’re at the park, the sun is setting ((listen,,,, it’s an aesthetic)) and they’re sitting on the swings, holding hands ((they’re in love, babey!!))

“are we… does this make us boyfriends now?” logan is a v technical, official terminology person, of course he’d be the one to ask

“if you want to be boyfriends.”

“i don’t think i’d be asking if i didn’t.”

“then yeah, yeah we’re boyfriends.”

logan walks back into his house with a giant smile, and he plays that event over and over and over again in his mind as he lies awake in bed that night

roman calls patton immediately

and they may or may not scream about it together

logan sends virgil a short text that goes along the lines of ‘roman and i are dating now’ but in real life he’s so giddy that his fingers shake as he types it out

they have their first kiss in roman’s bedroom a couple days later

when school rolls back around in the fall, they walk through the doors hand in hand

and now their rivalry is nothing but a legend that the seniors tell the freshmen whenever someone complains about ‘that one couple that keeps making out in the math wing stairwell, excuse me, i just want to get to class’

#logince #romantic logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts logan #ts roman #thomas sanders #sanders sides #blink writes #long post #anon #cursing tw #i am sO SORRY THIS IS LATE #I HOPE UR FEELING BETTER BUDDY

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movienotesbyzawmer · 3 years ago

Text

August 21: Mission: Impossible II

(previous notes: Mission: Impossible)

Not gonna lie, this is without question the Mission: Impossible movie that is remembered most unfavorably by me and, I'm pretty sure, everyone else. My recollection is that they tried SO SO SO SO HARD to make an action movie for Today's Kids; I'm typing this with the title screen of the 4K Blu-ray blasting its turn-of-the-millennium neo-metal version of the classic theme with Tom Cruise running in front of a wall of flame and it's just like come on. Is there even must fun spycraft in this? The first one promised lots of gravely furtive glancing, world-class makeup disguises, and dazzling gadgetry. Did this movie's director John Woo replace those with just way way way too much shooting and chasing and sexy vehicles? That's how I remember it but it's been a couple of decades.

I should probably address this series' exciting approach to director selection. The first one was directed by the legendary Brian De Palma, who brought us Carrie, The Untouchables, and Carlito's Way. Whether or not this one worked out, the trend here seemed to be to choose a respected director with a certain cred that could be imported into the franchise. More on that as this series unfolds. I am now to press play.

Opening scene is about a scientist who injects himself with something while a voiceover teases us with I-already-forget-what.

Oh, he's pals with Ethan; they're on a plane together out of Sydney when some bad-guy shenanigans totally thwart the whole fly-to-the-destination-safely thing. But! It wasn't even Ethan! It was good-ol' makeup fake-outery! It was a heist to take the warn leather pouch that the scientist had.

This I remember - during the opening credits, the REAL Ethan Hunt is climbing somewhere impressive, all freestyle like. All the related supplemental marketing materials never fail to talk up Tom Cruise's penchant for doing his own stunts, but these don't look real.

He then receives a fancy techno-message in a very, very dramatic and action-movie-ish fashion, which is that someone flies a helicopter by his climbing mountain and fires a rocket near him containing message-glasses tech! The voice in the message glasses sounds like Anthony Hopkins. Is it Anthony Hopkins?

Anyway now he has to go to Spain to recruit Thandie Newton and here is where it's already starting to get way too the-style-of-John-Woo. There is a flamenco show and Ethan and TN spot each other across the room. There is SLO MOTION and SPANISH STOMPING and ACOUSTIC GUITAR, and THOSE TWO GAZING AT EACH OTHER. I tell you I do not care for it.

What happens next is TN proceeds to use fancy technology and lockpicking skills to steal a well-concealed necklace. Ethan tags along flirtatiously. She still tries to steal the necklace even though this Lothario, this smarmy but irresistible cad, is trying to distract her with his testosterone.

Ugh, I was very right to remember not liking stuff about this movie. Ethan fails to recruit her at the jewel heist, so he car-chases at her the next day! He calls her during the car chase to irritate/seduce her, and she's all "you'll have to catch me ha ha", and it ends in a nearly fatal crash and then they KISS. The director worked very hard to ensure the kissing was HAWT, and Ethan has now successfully recruited TN for both spy work and boinkage.

Anthony Hopkins! He is in the next scene! That really was him! How did I forget that he is in this movie. This scene where he meets with Ethan and fills him in on everything is effectively expository. But then after he knows what he's gotta do, he walks with INTENSITY and it is in SLOW MOTION next to a BURNING EFFIGY THING with ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC GOING ON.

0:33:40 - Oh now it's a little more what I like, with a montage about using spy tech to get Ambrose, the bad guy who was pretending to be Ethan on the plane in the beginning, to track TN. And to further assure us that there is techie-fun to be had, Ving Rhames returns to be that guy for Ethan's team. But there is also time in this sequence for shots of TN walking slowly and looking super pretty. You know, so she can seduce Ambrose. A flowing scarf figures prominently in this imagery. A John Woo Film.

I like that they tricked Ambrose into thinking he is so damn smart for tracking her down. I also like Ambrose's compound on Sydney Harbour, it is a bitchin property.

Scene just happened where Ambrose seriously menaces his friend and uses a cigar-clipper on his finger. Ambrose is a bad friend.

But then they're all at the horse race game, even Ambrose's injured friend, who we learn is named Stemp and who is spying on TN, and Ethan and VR are spying on them all. There are shots of TN doing sleight of hand to steal a tape from Ambrose's pocket and it's pretty good spy-shot stuff.

I guess I should mention that there's one more guy on Ethan's team of four, an Australian guy. I haven't caught his name, so he is Australian Guy now, and he is pretending to be an employee of the horse race game venue. He gets bullied by Stemp! We don't like Stemp!

The tape she stole, they watch it right away and it shows footage of what the virus (there's a virus problem at the center of this) does. It is effective, and a little shocking.

But then, this is surprisingly actually kind of well-conveyed - they made it VERY clear that the tape was originally in Ambrose's left jacket pocket, and they showed very clearly that TN returned it to the wrong jacket pocket, AND it's obvious a moment later that Ambrose knows it has been replaced in the wrong jacket pocket. Don't know why, but at least it's keeping us on top of this situation.

Also not-too-shabby is how they're doing the consequences of Ethan and TN fancying each other, except then she has to go and seduce Ambrose and that's uncomfortable and drama-making. In Ethan's defense, as well as Ambrose's, I am also in love with TN right now.

1:02:12 - Ethan disguised himself as Scientist, the dead one from the beginning, and I'm just saying I'm glad this movie is embracing the disguise-craft theme that was established in the first movie. Ooh, is the show like that too?

And then just as I've typed that, it turns out that Ambrose did an Ethan disguise (it was established by Anthony Hopkins that Ambrose was an IMF agent so he can do that stuff too) to trick TN into outing her intentions. They make it very clear that there is voice-fake tech with their disguises that involves a wire mesh thing stuck to the throat.

Next up is a heist scheme to break into a skyscraper where they're growing stuff about the virus, and it's a little bit of that style I liked so much in the last movie, with the added twist that Ambrose is somewhere else anticipating what Ethan's planning, and, I think, plotting a separate, way-better heist. They're still talking about it and the heist is happening and it is suspenseful! I totally like this more than I remember.

1:13:30 - Ethan is at the part of the heist where he's at fancy lab facilities with robot arms and AI voices and oddly no people. VR and Australian Guy are observing everything that's happening using technology and Australian Guy's helicopter, making it more suspenseful, but I also don't know exactly what's going on? We appear to be where Scientist originally injected himself, and Ethan is I think killing the virus while also somehow visualizing Scientist injecting himself.

But then that all goes away because a platoon of thugs in black burst in and are shooting at Ethan. It all quickly became an action movie with blazing guns and VR's tech van getting bombed.

In the fracas it's clear that one of the injector guns contains the last of the virus, and also gunplay might shatter it and make them all infected, so that's decent suspense. But also, the lighting in this bio-lab is like a nightclub, with inexplicably roving spotlights and neon accents that pop in 4K.

TN is in the mix, and she decides to inject the last of the virus into herself, and there's a dumb moment where it's like ETHAN YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SHOOT ME WITH YOUR GUN and Ethan, Man of Ethics, does not do that. Instead there is more gunplay and Ethan jumps out a hole he made in the wall.

1:28:45 - We've moved to new location, a new compound, and it's on a guard-patrolled island and Ethan sneaks up on a guard and does a totally unnecessary body-flip martial arts move to take him out. I think he needs to steal the antidote from this compound so that he can save TN, who is somewhere else. He is visually passionate about this mission.

Ethan got caught sneaking in to this new compound by Stemp, and he did a whole grenade blowup thing but he still got caught. It's a trick, right? Yup, he put an Ethan mask on Stemp and a Stemp mask on himself and got Ambrose to kill Stemp. He realizes he just killed Stemp because of the finger injury, good job with that.

I am reminded that this movie is from the director of Face/Off, so I needn't have feared that the mask/disguise conceit would be forsaken.

But did he get the antidote? He must have. Sometimes when I'm typing notes I miss stuff, but he's now motorcycling away while VR and Australian Guy are providing support from their chopper.

This is now the vehicle-chase opera that I remember ending the movie so terribly extendedly. Much gunplay. Vehicles pirouette with violent elegance. Ethan can do such exquisite dances with his motorcycle and firearm. This climaxes in the ridiculous feat of Ethan and Ambrose riding their cycles at each other and jumping at off them at each other to finish the job sans vehicle. It ends as a tussle on the beach, and Ambrose has a knife that almost gets in Ethan's eye. The visual on that is striking. But it's no good, Ethan is too Tom Cruise for him. He gets the knife from him and DISCARDS THE KNIFE, and punch-kick-fights him a lot instead. Ethics.

Turns out Ambrose has a gun after all oh no. But then it turns out Ethan is standing by a sand-obscured gun somehow also oh good. He does a thoroughly storyboarded sand-kick-body-twirl gun recovery that ends like you'd guess.

So although there are some dumb things about this movie, I think it's better than I remembered. And having just watched the first one, I think it actually did a good job of having a story where you don't have to ignore a lot of stupidness. It's not like it's an especially good plot, but it didn't try to make you forget its holes like the first one. I still like the first one better, though.

(next: Mission: Impossible III)

#Mission: Impossible II #MI:2

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Rio & Buster

Rio: It was so good having you back Rio: everything smells like you again Buster: I feel that Buster: If I could've taken back half your wardrobe with me to miss you less I would've Rio: Never gonna be Brazil levels of hot here so sadly I need them or I'd let you Buster: I'll take what I can get Buster: It's so quiet here Buster: I could hear your every breath right now if you were here too Rio: That'd be nice Rio: I like you being the only thing I hear and see Rio: but selfishly glad Indie isn't in School right now for the same reason Buster: Admittedly I didn't see much of her but she seemed better than I expected Buster: Or better at pretending to be anyway Rio: Yeah, she's really trying to be alright Rio: she don't want him to fuck her up and I don't blame her Buster: Me either Buster: He ain't worth any of that Rio: Just wish it was the same for Edie Rio: but there we go Buster: Yeah Rio: It'd be so scary having to do this alone Rio: having a baby, I mean Rio: or with a useless father fucking shit up, even worse Buster: I was gonna say Buster: I don't wanna but I keep thinking about Chlo and James 'cause like what the fuck Rio: She's probably as much use as him though Rio: if not less so Rio: I don't know, can't picture her worrying about anything real Buster: Still, he's flirting with a girl at school every time I see him, I swear Buster: As much as I hate her, that's uncalled for Buster: And it's a car crash Rio: Yeah, again unsurprised Rio: Nance reckoned it wouldn't be long before they were cheating on each other Buster: There's no love lost between Nance and him either but she's right nonetheless Buster: I should've gone to see Astrid, speaking of, but since that means a high chance of also seeing my aunt Buster: Next time, I'll get Nance or Indie to sneak her out Rio: It is sad though, like, not gonna shed a tear but I doubt she's getting any herself in her state Rio: I think we're gonna take her to the park later, Indie's going stir-crazy Rio: I'll take pictures and stuff Buster: She was never gonna be a MILF like you, babe Buster: But yeah Buster: How are you feeling, besides missing me, obviously? Rio: Obviously Rio: I'm feeling pretty good though, revamped all my socials and cam pages so they look more professional Rio: Productive to keep myself from missing you too much Buster: I'm proud of you Buster: Do you reckon you'll have to take a break when my boy starts showing or is anyone gonna think you look hot like I do? Rio: Hmm, I don't know Rio: Like, it's a fetish because everything is but maybe I won't be feeling hot regardless of how viewers feel Buster: True Buster: You don't know how you're gonna feel yet Buster: You might want the time off Rio: Also depends how much we need the money Rio: 'cos we will when he's here Rio: maybe I'll work 'til I drop, Ma always did Buster: Don't worry about that Buster: I'll make sure he has everything he needs and wants Rio: Not if you get cut off for him, babe Buster: That's not gonna happen Rio: I hope not Rio: I'm just considering every outcome Buster: Baby, trust me Buster: It's gonna be fine Rio: I do trust you, baby Buster: I'm gonna look after you both Buster: If I have to beg my parents for anything or whatever else, I'll do it Rio: I know Rio: but I'm prepared to do whatever I have to too, you know Buster: That's why I love you and I know you're gonna be the perfect mum Rio: I love you so much Buster: I love you too Buster: Both of you Rio: You're so fucking perfect, you know that Buster: We are Rio: How are you, I haven't even asked, rude Buster: I'm good, don't worry Rio: I won't even ask what you're up to today though 'cos I know Buster: Yeah, same shit, different day Rio: You're doing so good though Rio: you're gonna be top of your whole year Buster: That's my plan Buster: Not only 'cause then my mum won't be able to refuse me anything, like Rio: Hot Rio: I'm not gonna refuse you anything either, just FYI Buster: Damn Buster: Is that how it is? Rio: Of course Rio: You're gonna earn so much more than A*s baby Buster: Now I'm distracted Rio: Whoops Rio: meant to be incentive Buster: I don't have to be there and see your face to know you aren't that sorry Rio: 😋 Buster: I miss you Buster: Take some pics just for me before you get to the park, yeah? Rio: Of course Buster: [Sends some pics of his own 'cause only fair] Buster: For incentive or distraction, whichever Rio: Inspiration, I think Rio: Gotta up my game Rio: 😩 Buster: I don't believe you Buster: You're so fucking beautiful Rio: I swear, I'm knackered still Rio: got no makeup on Buster: Nothing you've said changes what I said Rio: You really love me, don't you? Buster: You know it Buster: You should go rest if you're tired though Rio: No 😠 Rio: Don't make me Buster: Come on Buster: Be good Rio: I wanna be with you Buster: Talk to me from our bed then Buster: Go lie down Rio: Are you telling me? Buster: Do it Rio: 🤤 Rio: I'll do it but I'll miss you Buster: I've left enough clothes there, put something on Buster: It'll help Rio: Imma wear this hoodie out Rio: it's like a dress and I don't want anything between my skin and your clothes Buster: Well now I definitely need pics Rio: Oh no I just had such a sad realisation Buster: What? Rio: I'm gonna have to take my nip piercing out to breastfeed 😞 Rio: Acc gutted, like Buster: Me too Buster: I didn't think about that Rio: I was looking and people say you can keep it in but I'm not shoving tiny metal choking hazards in my baby's mouth like drink up kid, you selfish hoes 😂 Buster: We could bottle feed him? Or is that more selfish, like? Rio: Nah, breast milk is liquid gold babe Buster: I know you're right Buster: But very unfair of you, son 😂 Rio: I know, he ain't the only one benefitting from these titties, like Buster: Maybe we won't have 11 kids 'cause 😒 Rio: Aww, is daddy jealous already? 😏 Buster: I am now Buster: Gonna have to make the most of these next few months, aren't I? Rio: Oh yeah Rio: Shit, when are you not meant to fly when you're pregnant, how many months Rio: I won't be for the summer will I? Buster: Hold on, I'll look Buster: After 37 weeks or 32 if it's twins Rio: Phew Rio: We're fine Rio: I didn't think it was too early Buster: I'd have to have words with my boy if he was being that much of a troublemaker, like Rio: 😍 Rio: go off daddy Rio: gonna clue him in you a soft touch though Buster: Shh Buster: I am not Rio: Oh yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: You know how strict I am Rio: I do have the reminders on me Rio: but that side of daddy is just for me Buster: Can you still feel them all or do I need to be more strict next time? Rio: I can Rio: but I still want more Rio: and harder Buster: Good Buster: I know you'll earn every one Rio: Working on it already Buster: I bet you are Rio: Just letting everyone know how much I miss you right now Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm, check your snaps Buster: Baby Buster: Fuck Rio: You look so pretty between my thighs Buster: When did you even take that? Buster: So sneaky Rio: You were very focused, I couldn't resist Buster: All I wanna do now is recreate that Buster: I'm so mad you aren't here Rio: Me too Rio: I'm so fucking horny today I blame hormones entirely Buster: I blame you for giving me everything I want except coming back to London with me Buster: I just get used to having you whenever I want and I have to go back to missing you Rio: 😩 Don't Rio: I wanna be there so badly Buster: Come here then Buster: Bring Indie with you, you've done it before Rio: I don't doubt she'd jump at the chance to get away from here Rio: It's your parents too though, I'm not trying to give them all the reasons to hate me Buster: Just give me until my exams start Buster: At least Rio: Tell me it'll help you focus or something Buster: It would Buster: That's not a lie Buster: I'm so horny right now I can't concentrate on anything Rio: And only I can fix that, yeah? Rio: In person, has to be Buster: I need you, babe Buster: It's an actual plea Rio: Baby Rio: Okay, I'm coming Rio: I'll see when the next flights are Buster: Do whatever you need to do first Buster: But also, like, hurry up Rio: I will, I need you now Rio: Indie's off School for this whole week so she's good Rio: It'll be tonight Rio: Give us time to take Astrid out still as we promised Buster: 'Course Buster: I wanna know how she is, I mean that Rio: You're so good Rio: I think Ro was going to get her hair done whilst we're out so that's good Rio: sign of normality returning Buster: Yeah, she's not being a total recluse, like Rio: She's said a few civil words to me and actually let me in when me and Indie have brought her back so Rio: Never gonna be my biggest fan but I'll take it Buster: That's like huge progress in terms of her Buster: Maybe our son can actually be friends with Astrid one day Rio: Aww Rio: that's so cute Buster: Hopefully they won't fall in love like we did but you know Buster: I'll send you money for your flights, yeah? Rio: Lord, don't Rio: You just paid for your own Rio: Not to mention spoiled me Rio: I got this, babe Buster: You sure? Rio: I'm sure Rio: Focus on all the other ways you're gonna treat me when I get there Buster: Already done Buster: I'm so focused Rio: Care to share with the class, McKenna? Buster: Not yet Buster: It'll be better when I just show you Rio: But I'm already desperate Rio: This is gonna be a long day Buster: Poor baby Buster: Let me help you Buster: [Sends more pics] Rio: Are you tryna help or hurt Rio: I'm trying to get ready here and now Buster: Do you want me to stop? Buster: Just say the word Rio: NO Rio: Never Buster: So tell me what you need, babe Buster: We have time Rio: You'll play with me? Buster: Always Rio: That's why you're the best daddy Rio: I need you to tell me how bad you want it to be tonight already Buster: You know I'm aching for you, don't you? Buster: I need you so bad, Rio Rio: Are you gonna eat my pussy again, baby? Make me so wet and ready before you fuck me? Buster: I'm gonna make you beg me to fuck you Buster: You know I love that Buster: How sensitive you are when you've already cum so hard for me Rio: It feels too good I can't handle it but I want more and you know it Rio: You never stop Buster: I'm not gonna stop tonight either Rio: I wanna lose track of how many times you make me cum Buster: Good 'cause I'm planning on turning that maths brain off for you Rio: Fuck me 'til the only thing I can think about is your cock making me feel so good Rio: 'Til I forget my name but all I can say is yours Rio: Please please please baby please Buster: I'll fuck you until you pass out. You're gonna rest one way or another, baby Rio: I'm whimpering like a little bitch right now, I'm so fucking weak for you daddy Rio: Cum on my belly again, it was so hot Buster: You're so hot Buster: I'll do anything you want Rio: I want anal Rio: Didn't it feel so good Rio: so tight Buster: I was hoping you'd say that Rio: I'll put a plug in now, get stretched for you Rio: I'm already so distracted so Buster: Jesus, I'm gonna be thinking about that until I can take it out of you Rio: I'll put the toy in my cunt on the plane too, both holes ready for daddy Rio: make me cum before I even get to you Buster: Oh god Buster: You're really spoiling me Buster: This was meant to be about you Rio: It's all about you Rio: you've been working so hard, you need this, don't you baby? Rio: take out all that frustration on your little girl, she wants to help you Buster: You're gonna take it all for me, aren't you? Rio: Yes daddy, every drop, every inch and every worry, all of it Rio: You're gonna feel like the God you are when we're done Buster: You're so good at making me feel like that Rio: Good, I want you to always feel like that Rio: You're King and I'm Queen and we worship each other Buster: I fucking love you Rio: I love you Buster Rio: I can't wait to show you just how much with my tongue, like Buster: Me too Buster: You think you can get ready for me, but you just can't, baby Rio: Jesus Rio: I want you to do it 'til I'm in tears Buster: I told you, I'm not stopping Rio: Can I touch myself now Buster: How much do you need it? Buster: Tell me Rio: I've been bad Buster: Yeah? Rio: Everything you said was making me so squirmy so I put your pillow between my legs Rio: now it's all wet and I just wanna make it wetter Buster: You better do it then Buster: It's too late to be good now Rio: Have I earnt my first spanking, daddy? Buster: We do have to make sure you learn a lesson, yeah Rio: Oh fuck yes Buster: You've gotta do it properly though, 'cause I'll be checking when you get here Rio: Yes sir Rio: I'll make you proud again but I want to enjoy you being mad at me first Buster: Show me my pillow then Buster: We'll see how mad I am Rio: Okay, but I'm not moving it, it's in just the right spot right now Rio: so I'll have to be in the picture too Rio: [Pic] Buster: Fuck Buster: You were really grinding, weren't you, babe Rio: I told you, it still smells of you Rio: me too now Buster: Well, you better not stop Buster: I want you to smell of me all day long Rio: I won't, not 'til you tell me too Rio: I'm being good again, promise Rio: I'm gonna be wearing your hoodie all day, 'til I see you again and you take it off Buster: You're so good Buster: And you look even better Rio: I feel it Rio: How am I this close already holy shit Buster: 'Cause you want to please me and I want you to cum Rio: You do? Buster: You have to Rio: Yes, tell me what to do Buster: Ruin that pillow so I have to rest my head on your stomach whenever I'm tired Rio: Oh my God Rio: My two boys Buster: I don't ever wanna sleep anywhere else Rio: You never have to, I want you with me and on me always Buster: You make me so happy Buster: I need you to feel this good so go harder, okay Rio: Yes baby Rio: I'm trying to do it how you would Buster: Good girl Rio: Tell me how hard I've made you Buster: I'll show you Buster: [Pics] Buster: Look what you did Rio: I swear I can fucking taste it Rio: You need to cum with me and show me how big a load you shoot Buster: How could I refuse? Buster: God, it's like I can feel you, everything you'd do Rio: Please don't, I'll work harder for it but mamãe need daddy's cum Rio: You're just really good at all sex, I swear Rio: even online Rio: it's better than actual sex I've had with people that aren't you Buster: I feel that Buster: And I've fucked a lot of girls so you can take the compliment Buster: You're just the best Rio: Because you're mine Rio: I own that dick, always have, you know it Buster: You own all of me Buster: Always have and always will Rio: No girl has ever made you feel like this, have they? Buster: No Buster: Only you Rio: Right answer Buster: It's the honest answer Buster: You're so special, Rio Rio: Shit Indie and her friends are back but I'm so fucking close Buster: You can be quiet Buster: Prove it Rio: But Rio: I wanted to moan for you Buster: There's plenty of time for that later Rio: Okay Rio: but I'm gonna have an attitude all day now Rio: and they're gonna have to deal 'cos it's their fault Buster: I'll make you feel better Buster: I promise Rio: how daddy Rio: i'm listening 😋 Buster: I'll make twice as much noise Rio: Make sure you say my name Rio: Lots Buster: I'm saying it right now Buster: Really loud for you Rio: Oh baby boy Rio: How do you know exactly what I like Buster: 'Cause I know you Buster: I always have Buster: And you know me Rio: Yeah Rio: I wish I'd known we'd end up here together Rio: I loved you so much Rio: More now but I mean Rio: as a kid, I really did Buster: Everything that you've ever wanted to do with me, I've imagined us doing it so many times 'cause I loved you too Buster: We have forever to make up for lost time Rio: We do Rio: Plus we probably would've beaten my parents record and had so many babies by now so good thing really Buster: There was shit we both had to do first Buster: But I'm all yours now Rio: Growing the fuck up, namely Rio: Mine forever Buster: Exactly, I wasn't ready for you then Rio: and we got each other's best first, no matter what Buster: Yeah Buster: You know, I think you can make some noise, babe. I bet they're being really loud themselves Rio: 🙄 Honestly Rio: I think I will Rio: 'cos now I'm shamelessly daydreaming how much better my first time with you would've been than what I had Buster: Fuck Buster: Cum for me like you would've Rio: I'd be telling you how long I'd wanted this Rio: how I'd waited for you and you were better than all my wet dreams had told me you'd be Buster: Thank god there's nobody here 'cause I'm being louder than I promised Rio: It's such a good fantasy Rio: You'd cum so quick and you'd blush so pretty and be so adorable but I'd just kiss you and play with you until you got hard again for me Buster: You know you wouldn't have to wait long I used to cum so many times a day just thinking about you Buster: But you are gonna need something harder than that pillow if you're imagining me Rio: Would you tell me? Probably not, maybe after we've done it a few times and you can see how much you turn me on and I think about you too Rio: You want me to fuck myself now daddy Buster: I'd have to tell you, I've never been able to keep shit from you Buster: You always know Buster: You'd love it though Rio: I seriously would, I'd be even more distracted in School, thinking about you and when the next family party was so we could sneak off alone and play Buster: We'd be expecting everyone to walk in on us every minute but that'd just make it hotter Rio: And we'd find out how loud we are Rio: like we want to get caught Buster: And how hard and fast we'd have to fuck Rio: We'd come back in all sweaty and red-faced Rio: our hair so crazy Rio: and no one would ever guess Buster: You'd look so beautiful it'd just make me want you more Buster: You'd have to stop me from ripping your dress Rio: And if I was wearing a dress, which I would be, hitched up even shorter so you could see I wasn't wearing any knickers for you, I'd have to make sure you got every last drop of cum before we went back in to the party Buster: You'd have to cover every mark the next day but you'd get too distracted touching each one and remembering how I did it Rio: I'd always be late to School because I'd have to fuck myself in the makeup mirror looking at what you'd done Buster: And I'd be late too 'cause I'd spend too long in the shower fucking myself to the vivid flashbacks Rio: We'd get into so much trouble, baby Rio: our parents wouldn't know what was going on Buster: Yeah we would Buster: You know none of it would be enough and we'd have to touch ourselves at school too, any chance we could get Rio: Yeah, all the time and so much texting and sending pictures in lessons Rio: and we'd get our phones taken off us and we'd have to pray the teacher's didn't see anything Buster: I'd get so many detentions for you Rio: I'd make it up to you Buster: 'Course Buster: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Rio: Back at you, Buster McKenna Rio: I like saying your name Buster: Half of it's yours now Rio: Yeah it is Rio: I've changed all my bank and bills and shit and it felt so good Buster: It's his too Buster: We just need the other half Rio: It'll come to us Rio: we've got time Buster: It's gotta be perfect Rio: Like him Rio: We'll brainstorm Rio: fucking gives me the best ideas Buster: Tell me something I don't know Buster: You get so focused, babe Buster: It's fucking hot Rio: You love a 🤓 Buster: Just you Buster: If you were any sexier, forget my promise for later, I'd be the one passing out right now, like Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: it's rude, how are cute and hot, pick a lane Rio: 'cept don't Buster: I'll pick one when you do Buster: But you can't 'cause you're everything Rio: If I wasn't part of us I'd find us sickening Buster: If I wasn't with you, I'd have to kill whatever cunt was in my place Rio: And there you go, being hot again Rio: Jealousy is such a turn-on I don't care what anyone says Rio: it was so hot when we knew we wanted each other but we hadn't admitted it yet, never mind done anything about it so we got with each other's friends Buster: Sorry I didn't have hotter friends for you, babe, but not that sorry Rio: Made it easier to think about you so Rio: not that mad Buster: Who was the best, other than me? Rio: Oh what was his name Rio: Think he was Italian or Swiss or something Rio: The one you made me go on a double date with you with Buster: Laurent, yeah he's very Swiss Rio: What does that even mean? 😂 Buster: I mean, the level of European where the gay jokes write themselves as far as the rest of the lads are concerned Rio: Gotcha Rio: Well if he is gay he's very convincing to the contrary Buster: He obviously ain't Buster: He never declared his love for me Buster: Do you wanna go marry him or? Rio: That settles it then Rio: Shame he ain't even bicurious, we could thruple Buster: Don't sound so enthusiastic about it, damn Rio: See 😋 so hot Rio: and so easy Buster: Calling me a slag as well now Buster: Rude Rio: Poor boy Rio: What have you married, huh Buster: Go marry your real love, I'll get you off the bigamy charges as a final favor, like Rio: Giving to the end Rio: I'll give you a good reference Buster: Enjoy Switzerland 'cause he splits the year between there and here Rio: Ooh Rio: I'll have to learn how to ski Buster: I'll be back for my kid when he's ready Rio: Damn, forgot about that Rio: Better stick with you then Rio: not up for the custody battle tbh Buster: You never know, Laurie might have the fetish Buster: Or his dad might Buster: If you wanna trade up worthy of leaving me, like Rio: If he did, he'd surely be piping Chlo by now, but that aside 'cos you've got my attention Rio: is he heir to the Hublot fortune or? Clue me in, babe Buster: He could well be fucking her for all I'd know Buster: Either of them could Buster: Oh, you wish, babe Rio: How dare he not be pining for me forever, I'm fuming Buster: I can tell Rio: Where's the loyalty? Rio: Honestly Buster: You gotta give him a repeat at least first Buster: And probably remember his name that time so you can moan it out, like Rio: Can you remember the name of your double date then? Buster: I'm not claiming she was good enough Rio: Yeah, you were not feeling it, I recall Buster: How could I when you showed up looking like that? Buster: Not that it stopped you, apparently Rio: I know you can't remember what I was wearing boy, 'cos I can't so 😜 Rio: I felt pretty bad actually, 'cos he was alright unlike most of your friends and I could barely keep the conversation going 'cos I kept looking over at yous Buster: Fuck you, I can Buster: I've got a great memory Rio: Oh yeah? Buster: You look especially good in red so yeah Buster: It really clung to you, being silky, which of course was intentional as hell Rio: Oh Rio: That's right, actually Rio: As if you remembered that Buster: I know it's right, I can see it in my head right now Rio: Why you even studying, babe? Rio: You're gonna ace these tests so easy Buster: 'Cause how fucking stunning you are isn't on any of my A-levels, sadly Rio: You should complain Buster: Call the exam board for me, babe, they'd do anything you say with that voice Rio: Too smooth for your own good, you Buster: It's all true Buster: Speaking of, you are really coming tonight, right? Rio: Yes baby Rio: [Shows booking] Buster: Okay Buster: Good Rio: You want us still, yeah? Buster: More than anything Buster: That's why I asked, it's hard to believe I keep getting everything I want Rio: Surely not, par for the course, golden boy 😉 Rio: but no Rio: I know Buster: Stay with me, yeah? Buster: Even if I am a moody prick about exams Buster: I actually do need you Rio: Of course Rio: I know you do Rio: I'm not just coming to fuck you Rio: though obviously, not that much of a pricktease Buster: Good to know Buster: But obviously, I'm glad 'cause you do need rest too, I'm serious Buster: And I need my boy for good luck Rio: We're coming Rio: 🍀 in tow Buster: I can't wait until he can properly hear what we're saying to him Rio: They can first hear around 18 weeks Rio: so if you've got anything really fucked you wanna say, get it in now, like 😏 Buster: Will do Rio: Right, she's finally ready for the park 🙄 Rio: Said as if I haven't been happily entertaining myself but you know Buster: 😏 Buster: Did she hear you or not? That's my only question Rio: Did she hear us or not, that's my question Rio: awkward way to find out I'm pregnant Buster: It would say you a convo though Buster: save* Buster: Seriously, I know I need to be more careful about what I say but like, I can't help myself Buster: You're just so Rio: I don't care Rio: I wanna be happy about this Buster: Do you mean that? Rio: Yeah Rio: Seriously Rio: Heaven forbid anything happens, you're not just seamlessly moving on without anyone noticing so Rio: if people find out, they do, we get to be as excited as we want and talk about it how we wanna, it's our baby Buster: Yeah Buster: Fuck it Buster: We made him, we can talk about him as much as we want, whenever we want Rio: Exactly Rio: and we wanted him, we're not ashamed Buster: I'm not scared either Rio: We've got each other Rio: All 3 of us Rio: everyone else can like it or leave Buster: Agreed Rio: Good Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Buster: Go have fun at the park, like Rio: I will Rio: Send you all the snaps like promised 💕 Buster: I know Buster: It won't be that long until we can take him for all kinds of family outings, even if it feels like too long to wait at the moment Buster: Think about that, babe

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themikewheelers · 8 years ago

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tell me about your photoshop troubles. i have had the same in the past (specifically #THE AMOUNT OF VIRUSES I'VE HAD ON MY COMPUTER) and it's good to know someone else has them too 😂😂

Okay so it started last week. I've been "Photoshopping" things for years now but I've always used knockoff programs and never bothered to get the actual thing. So I decide to make an edit and I want to try using actual Photoshop this time, so FIRST I go to download the episodes but the fucking download program I got,,,,, it's in GERMAN. So I'm opening google translate and attempting to do this download, then it just crashes and it doesn't work. So then I get a rec from my friend for a good ENGLISH WORKING SAFE program so I get that and download it and the episodes. Day 1 is over. Next day I decide to download photoshop and fucking,,,,,, it's in SPANISH. Now I've been taking Spanish for 3 years now so it's to the point where I'm like "Okay I know that archivo means file so I'm just gonna stick with this" so I run downstairs and I pick up that old Spanish English dictionary I bought 3 years ago for my first Spanish class and haven't opened since, and I'm looking for the freaking import button, and the program itself DOESNT HAVE AN IMPORT BUTTON (I even clicked on that thing that was like 'show all menu options' or something like that, it still wasn't there, no import button) so THAT concludes my experience with Español Photoshop. The rest of Day 2 is downloading as many different photoshop links as I can find, just trying to find ONE that worked. I swear to God and Jesus I'm not exaggerating when I say I downloaded hundreds of things, I can open my laptop and check for the exact number but I swear it was at least 150 different things. Out of all of those, 6 of them worked. Number one was the Spanish one, and then the next one? In Italian. It worked perfectly but it was in Italian and this was one of the earlier downloads, I'm still full of hope, not just desperate for anything that says "Photoshop" on it, so I delete. Next one was Portuguese, and the one after THAT was Japanese. All of these claimed to be in English and btw I learned from my series of photoshop adventures that you can't change the language, it's connected to where you downloaded from and you have to pay to change it. So at this point I'm PRETTY far into the list of like 150 downloads, and out of the 4 that had worked so far, they were all in different languages. So understandably I'm getting very frustrated and I keep downloading things, and then finally, oh thank the lord finally, it's in English and it's working. Tears of joy running down my face-- and then my laptop just shuts off. I wait for it to power back on and then I get a little notification, it had found a virus and had to remove it. So I check and of course, English Photoshop was the virus it got rid of. So then, maybe 15 downloads later, that's when things got interesting. I find another working download, but the language of it is what's weird. It's half in English, half in Spanish. I don't ever want to look at another foreign word again. Sorry to my Spanish teacher, but this was like my 12th hour doing this and why are there so many languages to download photoshop in???? I was so exhausted, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to settle at Half English though, so I delete it and keep looking. I kept looking for a while, until finally giving up. Six downloads had worked, and I couldn't use any of them. Now I think this is a good time to tell you that I'm currently having finals week, and instead of studying, THIS was what I've been doing (and it definitely didn't do anything to ease my anxiety levels). So I go and study for a few hours, figuring I'm done with Photoshop. But that's not who I am, when I spend so much time trying to do something, I'm gonna do it. Not out of determination, but it comes to a point where I'm doing it out of spite, just to say that I finally did it. So it's around 3am and I'm like "Okay I'm gonna download a few more and then I'm going to sleep" so I start downloading some and then around the third one, it's in English and it works. You can imagine my tears of joy. So I turn on FRIENDS and go the hell to sleep. Now it's day 3, I have the downloaded episodes and I have the working English photoshop, now all I have to do is make the edit, right? Wrong. I go to put the video into photoshop, and it's saying it's the wrong file type and it's not supported by Photoshop. So at first I'm like "okay that's understandable, I did just download them" so my FIRST problem is downloading a file converter. I'm not going to get into the story, but it's pretty similar to how it took to download Photoshop, hundreds of downloads, the only ones that worked are in foreign languages, and THIS was the day where I get the most notifications from my computer saying it located viruses. Now after a long long long time downloading tons of file converters, I finally find one to use. So I go to convert the files and then I try and put the converted files into photoshop and whoooop it didn't work. Now the rest of Day 3 consisted of me converting the files into HUNDREDS of different types. I converted them into basic things, things Photoshop claimed it supported, things all the people with similar problems online claimed they needed to convert into, things I hadn't even heard of. In the end, after around 15 hours of converting files, I FINALLY found something that photoshop will take. Now onto Day 4, this should be the easy day, now I just have the make the edit. Well my very first problem is that now I'm opening photoshop and I realize something, this has been going on so long I can't even remember what my idea to edit was. So then I'm just like "whatever I'll gif a random scene and put a meme on it, I gotta do something" So I go to make the gif, when I find out THE FREAKING PHOTOSHOP I DOWNLOADED DOESNT HAVE THE ANIMATION TIMELINE. I don't know why it didn't have it, but it didn't. So I end up going online and downloading the timeline separately, basically using it kinda like a psd. So I get the timeline and I want to make the gif and remove some frames, but for whatever reason my Photoshop doesn't let me select multiple frames at once, so I have to go through like 500 frames and manually delete each of them to get what I want. Now I think now is the time in this story to tell y'all that I'm not just stupid or anything. I know how to use Photoshop, I've been using it since I was in the sixth grade, I used to be in the digital editing club at my school, I know how to use photoshop, it's just this program is so wacky nothing is working. So manually I delete like 450 frames and after that everything with making the gif seems to be going well, up until it's time to add the text. I start typing and the font I'm using? Times New Roman. But instead these random symbols are showing up and it won't let me change it. So I just delete everything and start over and then I get up to adding text again, and this time symbols aren't showing up, instead just whatever letter I press, it just puts in a dash. So I'm tryna write the subtitles and instead what's coming up is "----------------" Now, after several several several redos it FINALLY starts writing letters, and there are a few more minor issues but for the most part everything is running smoothly, I finally make the gifs.So to conclude, this gifset took 4 days, 6 languages, hundreds of downloads, God-knows how many viruses, and an entire ocean of tears, but I finally made the gifs.Here's the link. God obviously determined that my making of this was a sin, because he definitely did everything in his power to make it stop, but dammit this was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life>>> enjoy http://themikewheelers.tumblr.com/post/156287152865

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