#I'm... On a thin line with this stuff...... I'm afraid I'm not really informed on how gender works

[just-like-playing-tag]

Emma's a tomboy, right? I was thinking what if she became trans, demi female, demi trans male, or somewhere along the lines if she found out about other gender options. What do u think?

I think that's very cool!!!!!! If that's your personal headcanon, go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!

I personally think demigirl fits her, but I wouldn't go as far as considering her trans male or demimale? For how I interpret her behavior -and I have no real complain towards canon in this case - I think she's ok with being considered a girl. She's a girl who enjoys physical activity and preferres wearing pants and is tomboy, but to my eyes that doesn't make her any less of a girl- there's tons of girls like her who still consider themselves girls. You see, the thing is... I don't think the children at GF were ever forced under any form of gender pressure? The farm makes it one of its most relevant points to raise the children in an healthy and happy environment, because that's considered a requirement to have their brains develop to their best. It's easy to understand that a child who's feeling oppressed won't be really happy, so I imagine any form of discrimination to be strictly prohibited.

GF is presented since the very start as an hidilliac environment, where children can grow up healthy, educated and happy. That's an importartant element that helps building up the feeling of the series, since the perfect life the children live strongly clashes with their tragic, dark deaths. So I think it's fair to assume the lack of discrimination inside the House to be one of the requirements of the farms. Besides, Isabella is a good mama, isn't she? I mean, she's repeatedly remarked, through the whole series, as loving the children as if she was their mother. Now, even though I myself do not consider Isabella a mother to the children for obvious reasons, I do recognize that she indeed raised the children just like a loving mother would have had. Thus, I don't think Isabella would have had ever forced the children to fit into genders (or, for the matter, sexual orientations) they didn't felt like their own. If Norman one day came to Isabella and told her "Mama, I feel like I'm a boy, not a girl. I want to wear pants like other boys and be addressed with masculine pronouns", I believe she would have been perfectly fine with it, and all the other children would had as well. In this house we stan ally Isabella. She would probably die a little inside because him being male lowest his already minimal chances of survival, but Isabella has always affirmed to want to give children an happy life, so I'm 100% sure she would never oppose to children coming out as trans.

This got more long than I intended to but to put it simply: I personally find it unlikely for Emma to later start identifying herself as male, because if she felt that way, she would have probably came out as such a long time ago. That is also taking into account Emma's forward nature- if it had been Norman, he would have probably spent months or years pondering if that was really how he really felt; with Emma instead, as soon as she realized it as a young girl / boy, she would have been like "I feel it in my guts, so that must be true because my guts are always right :3"

So no, I don't feel like many of the older escapee would come out after living in the human world, because I believe they never felt oppressed for their gender or sexual orientation in the demon world. If any of them is trans, and I fully support any headcanon that depicts them as such, they probably came out to their family already.

But that being said I really want to reiterate????? If you see Emma as being trans male or demimale or whatever, I FULLY support you. They're fictional characters, headcanon them as being whatever you want. In this case, I feel no need to change canon, because I'm cool with Emma being a girl. You know, for me there is a personal matter to it, since it's extremely rare to have female characters as shonen protagonists ahah. But if you'd like to headcanon her as such, go for it??? This was a friendly reminder to have fun with your funky little headcanons!!!!!!!

[marvelyhp]

Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

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We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

No.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

TAG LIST:

@jessyballet

@ginger-swag-rapunzel

@paryl

@sltwins

@greenlibra10

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

[cawcawpeasants]

Hello, i hope you have a good day ! I read your post for really sad scenario and, sorry in advance for your poor heart, could you do, please, a scenario with Fuegoleon who have to accepts that Nozel is dead because he disappears in a mission two months ago ? And he comes back a little times after that in the house ? And act like if all was normal ? (I actually don't know if you're going to find it sad, but me yes, maybe because i'm hyper sensitive XD )

First of all: Q.Q

Second of all: Sorry for the long wait, real life kicked my ass.

Third of all:

It isalways difficult to adapt to changes. The extremer they are, the harder it isto uphold normality.

Sometimespeople start to take up to new habits to try to do so.

As forLeon, he started to stay up late, staring out into the night, counting thestars, hoping to find something new.

Also, hemade a habit out of lighting a few lamps on the outside before he heads to bed,making it easier to land at night.

Other thenthat he sucked up every kind of information, every rumour, every lead thatwould lead him to his goal.

Finding outwhat happened two months ago.

At first,it was all he could think of, driven by immense guilt and grief. He neglectedhis works, his looks, his life.

“How can Ineglect it, if my life was taken from me?” He’d answer to all who came to scoldhis behaviour.

He was seton finding it again

Finding himagain.

NozelSilva, his partner, his significant other, who disappeared 2 months ago withoutanybody knowing where he went. It was supposed to be a dungeon conquering mission,probably taking some time, eventually dangerous. Reports came back in steady rhythmsfrom the Captain, but suddenly nothing. All contact broke off and nobody couldfind any trace of them.

The publicthinks of him as dead. Deceased in the line of work.

At firstLeon fought them publicly, he believed in his lover’s strength and abilities.He couldn’t believe that people could ever think of something like that.

Then he startedto get anxious. Weeks went by without a word. Nozel disappeared into thin air,not even Julius was able to make him out. It was like his Mana left theKingdom, and all the others, too. He was still hoping for Nozel to come back,to just land at their home and be there.

He wastired and at the same time restless, he couldn’t fall asleep without thefamiliar body next to him. He couldn’t go about his days the same without thesnarky remarks, the little tiffs and spats, the intelligent eyes, the raresmiles.

He couldn’tstand human interaction at this point. He felt judged and pitied wherever hewent, so he relieved all personnel of their service for an undetermined amountof time.

A monthwent by, and books about eagles started to collect dust. He felt like he did,too, so he started to take up his work again.

Another weekpassed, and he started to collect the Silvas left behind clothes and storedthem, so they wouldn’t be eaten by moths.

Anotherweek, he was barely there at the meeting of the captains, where they discussedwho would take over the order of the silver eagles.

Anotherweek, and a proposal from the House of Silva came in, asking him if he wouldlike to help planning the former Heads funeral. If he would like to hold theobituary.

About twomonths had went by since all contact to Nozel Silva had vanished, and Leon wasadapting to his life without him. He wasn’t happy nor that hopeful, and he couldn’tleave the letter with the proposal left unanswered much longer. But still…

He wasstill going out to the roofs, looking out for a sign that Nozel would come back,like he did in his dreams. He was still lighting the lamps, so Nozel could safelyland when he would come home.

His heartstill hurt when he tried to fall asleep without him.

The peoplearound him were trying to talk him out of these new things, they wanted him tobe normal, like he was before. He understood their concern, but he couldn’t letgo entirely.

Well, atleast so he thought.

Anotherweek went by and he caught himself slipping. He neglected the lights and staredat the proposal longer. He was intently pondering about what to do, whatdecisions to make.

He did soright now.

He sighedand leaned back. His eyes were strained from reading the letter for what musthave been the 1000th time already. He knew every word by heard, butit did not lighten the weight of its message. His own family had given theirhopes up, and they wanted to move on already.

He wasn’t surehow long thy were going to wait for him to be likeminded, but he did know thathe would never forgive himself if he wouldn’t honour his beloved by beingpresent at his funeral.

This would be so much easier, if Nozel were hereto give me advice…

He blamed thesudden burning in his eyes on the strain. He had cried enough for a lifetime inthe last two months, especially given that he wasn’t build that close to thewater.

He took adeep breath.

It’s time to decide.

Over two months no signs, no messages…

But also, no bodies found

He could be alive, but isn’t it more likelythat he’s dead?

He would have come back to us… to me.

This will never come to a conclusion, will it?So, I should be so kind and offer his family, his knights, his kingdoms andeven myself an end to this painful hoping. They deserve their peace, as doeshe.

In the morning, I willanswer the Silvas.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

He hadn’t realized,he’d fallen asleep in his office chair, so he was confused at the uncommonsurroundings when he woke up.

Than heremembered why he had woken up in the first place.

Theentrance door fell into the lock.

There wheresounds coming from the ground floor, and Leons heart started beating.

There stillwas no staff, he was the only living being in the building at the moment, Mereowas out in the woods still and Leo had to be at the order. It was long pastcurfew.

Well, asidefrom the worlds most stupid robber, it seems.

Who thinks of breaking into the house of acaptain while he’s still there? Do people really think of me as so vulnerableright now? Well, I will show them what happens when you wake a lion.

He silentlyfollowed the noise and found the source currently wreaking havoc in the kitchen.At least it sounded like that.

He took hisgrimoire out and started to look for an appropriately intimidating spell, thatwould not damage his furniture too much.

He thenentered the kitchen.

He was metwith a mess, ripped open packages, open drawers, a robbed fridge.

He made outa pair of legs in ripped clothing rummaging through the cupboard where theteacups were stored, upper body and head hidden behind the opened door. The burglarjust continued looking through his stuff without a care in the world.

Leon felt nerveson his forehead twitch in irritation.

‘You haveten seconds to explain your presence here. And also, what exactly are you doinghere right now?’ He all but yelled at the busy bee trying to fid somethingworthy to steal.

Themovements halted, then a head looked out behind the door.

It wasfamiliar, even though it lacked the usual hairstyle.

‘Well, asfar as I can remember, I live here, but that doesn’t seem to account foranything, because I also remember employing servants, but apparently none ofthem are here right now. Due to that I am making myself a sandwich and some tea,but I cannot find my favourite cup it seems. You wouldn’t remember seeing itanywhere, no?’

Leon juststared at him in shock.

Nozel wasthere, while he was supposed to be dead

And he’s looking for a teacup?! 

Unable toreact appropriately to all the annoyance and confusion and happiness inside of him, he took a seat at the ruined kitchentable.

‘Leon, haveyou seen my cup now? Leon?’

He can’t be real. This is just my brain messingwith me because I can’t handle the fact that he’s dead.

He felt awarm hand on his shoulder. He looked up and was met with the concerned face ofhis dead Love. He grew a stubble.

‘Dear, areyou okay? You look awfully pale. Do you want me to call a doctor?’

This is my mind telling me I’m needing help,isn’t it?

He smiledat the familiar features and wanted to run a hand over them, wanting them to bereal, but he was afraid he would wake up from his sweet nightmare.

‘I havegone mad, I am afraid. Are you my consciousness?’

Nozel furrowedhis brows.

‘A doctorit is then. I shall go fetch one first thing in the morning, but right now youshould go to bed. Maybe you can sleep it off, whatever it is.’

‘You can’tsleep when you are already dreaming. You should know that, we share a brain.’

TheNozel-who-couldn’t-be-Nozel took a step back.

‘Or I’ll goget a doctor right now. But nice to know that I am an object of your dreams. ’

Nozel grabbedone of the things he called sandwiches and started to eat. Leon couldn’t believethis normal, well nearly normal, sight.

‘Of course,I have dreamed of you. For two months now, maybe more. Even before that, if I amhonest, but those were dreams of a different nature. The last dreams were allabout you being exactly like you are right now. Home, Alright, Uninjured andjust…not dead…I-‘

Leon’svoice broke and he felt tears well up. This was just cruel.

Nozel stoppedeating his monstrosity and looked up in confusion.

‘What do youmean I am dead?’

Fuegoleonlooked back at him, equally confused. Nozel went over to him, now slightlyirritated.

‘I asked,what do you mean, when you say that I am dead.’

‘Well, thatyou are dead. You disappeared two months ago while being on that Dungeonmission, and nobody could find any remains of you, nor a sign that you werealive. You were declared weeks ago. I- I was asked to hold a speech at your funeral.And now I am imagining you being here to deal with the fact that you are longgone.’

Nozelsshock and disbelief at his current official status was plain to see on hisface, but he also was hurt, seeing his partner at such a loss.

He softlycupped the Vermillions face.

‘So if I amdead-‘ he said while inching his face closer to Leons ‘-how come I can do this?’

And then hekissed him, showing him how much he missed him and just how very, very real hewas.

When he drewback to catch his breath he looked at Leons face. The latter hadn’t opened hiseyes yet, but Nozel could make out the tears caught in the eyelashes, and hehad the urge to kiss them away.

So he did.

The administrationson his face filled Leon with a warmth he thought he had lost forever.

‘What- Whathappened? Why did you take so long?’ He asked quietly.

Nozel, whohad halfway crawled into his lap already, still caressed his face while he toldLeon about his mission.

‘Well, itwas a normal Dungeon. It took me about two weeks to reach it, and a bit less toget back here, it was very well hidden in one of the grand magic zones. I justwanted to step into the entrance hall to get a feel for the place, but apparently,I fell victim to a spell cast on it. I stepped in in broad daylight, felt themana of the place and went out again, only to find that it was already night-time.Then I decided that this was either a time manipulating or mind-altering magic,so I headed back here to talk over my findings with the emperor. This sort of spellis way too dangerous to deal with alone. But, as I promised you, I wanted tocome home first, eat something, check up on you, all that. And here you are,thinking I am dead and telling me the one day I thought I lost-‘

‘Wasactually nearly two months.’ Finished Leon the sentence.

Nozel feltLeon’s arms sneak around his middle, pressing him close in a make-shift hug. Helooked at the head pressed against his stomach and smiled. That must have beenquite a hellish experience for his man. He didn’t want to think of what he hadbeen going through, thinking he was dead and all.

Reminds me…

‘Hey Leon, howdid everybody react to my death? I am kind of curious.’

He got noanswer.

‘Leon?’

A trademarksnore erupted from the sleeping man, who still had him in his clutches. Nozeltried to loosen the Grip, but it had the opposite effect. So, he settled to takinga more comfortable seat and wait for him to wake up. He kissed the top of theother’s head.

He must have been very tired.

Better to let him sleep.

Then heyawned.

I should, too.