#I'm working on my Philippines asks a lot
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ask-the-little-italian · 1 month ago
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Italy... your younger self told me I'd find you here...
@ask-hetalia-germany
Ve~? Oh it's you again!
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My older self still won't— oh hold on I'll pass the phone real quick. . .
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. . . Ah, he's asleep
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starryalpacasstuff · 1 month ago
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The Absence of India in Discussions on Queer Asian Media
So, yesterday @lurkingshan tagged me in an ask she got from @impala124 about the absence of India when we're talking about queer Asian media. I was intially just going to reblog it with my thought, but as it kept growing I figured it'd be best to just make my own post. Please read the ask linked above first so this makes sense.
*cracks knuckles* this is going to be the most fun I've had writing a post in ages. (For a little background, I'm a queer Indian, born and raised)
So, this is a very interesting question on a subject I've been rotating in my head for the past several months. There's a lot of different variables that contribute to the noticeable lack of discussion on Indian and South Asian queer media in general, so I'm just going to talk through the ones I've noticed a little randomly.
Talking about Asian media in general, it's well known that the mass popularity of kpop and anime has contributed massively to the increase in popularity of Asian media. If you've been in the Asian media fandom for any amount of time at all, you'll have noticed that media from Korea, Japan, and China gets by far the most attention from international audiences; all East Asian countries. There may be several reasons for this, but in particular, it's no secret that the fetishization of East Asians is a massive proponent in the popularity of media from these countries, while there's no such interest in South Asians. If we shift our focus to queer media specifically, media from these three countries is still extremely popular, with the addition of Thailand and the Philippines to some extent; both South East Asian countries. From what I've seen, there's very little international interest in media from South Asian countries (although, if we're talking about India specifically, I can't exactly say anything. Bollywood has not been good lately). If we talk about queer South Asian media, the scope of interest falls even further. If you'll notice, MyDramaList, one of the most commonly used websites for finding and tracking Asian shows only allows for East and South-East Asian shows. So, that's one reason—there's just not much international interest in Indian media in general. As Shan said in the initial post, it's partially because of a difference in priorities. Korea is notorious for using media to gain global standing, the role of the 'soft power' of Thai bls in the recent bills for equal marriage in Thailand has been widely discussed, the list goes on. Could racism also play a part in the massive gulf of interest in media from East Asian versus South Asian countries? Probably. But I'm not going to get into that too much.
Moving on, there's obviously a massive lack of queer media in India. I think this is greatly exacerbated by the fact that it's very hard to support the people making queer media beyond buying and/or streaming their work. The majority of people engaging with Indian queer media are queer Indians, and a lot of us have to do so in secret because of the society we live in. This means that creators that have to push through several obstacles to publish their work often receive little incentive to continue doing so because of the lack of engagement. Because of the lack of media, international fans are less likely to become interested in queer Indian media, and the cycle continues.
I will say though, contrary to what Shan said, I think Indian media, particularly anything that came out post 2019 might actually be on the easier end of the spectrum when it comes to access. This may simply be bias, so forgive me if I'm wrong here, but from what I've seen, a lot of queer Indian shows are in fact available on streaming sites, and at most you'd need a vpn to access them. I think the two main things that actually hold back queer Indian media from becoming more popular are a lack of noise and it's relatively lower quality.
The main way we find out about new shows in this space is through either word of mouth (well actually, post) or because we follow production houses known for producing media. Because of the sparse nature of both the media and the consumers, there's very few people who learn enough about the media to want to give it a shot. For example, there's a film on netflix called Badhaai Do (hindi for Congratulate Us) that I've been meaning to watch for a while. It centers around a lavender marriage and I've heard a lot of good things about it, so I was slightly surprised to see that most of the people on tumblr I interact with who have been engaging with queer media for far longer than me had never heard of it. There's also a, Indian BL from 2017 called Romil and Jugal that I've written about before here, and I would've never learned of it's existence if not for a friend hearing about it from another friend of hers.
Because there's so little queer indian media, it's natural that the quality leaves much to be desired. The main issue is, because the queer asian media market has become so saturated lately people are becoming a lot more selective with what they watch, and for good reason. This means that queer media from india is simply unable to grow and improve over time, leaving it stagnant. Back in 2016-2018, the overall dearth of queer media from Asia meant that a lot of people were willing to watch shows that were average or even worse. Thailand particularly seems to have benefitted from this, being able to grow and evolve its queer media due to the successes of shows like SOTUS, 2gehter, TharnType and more even recently, KinnPorsche. Queer Indian media will have a much, much harder time with this because of all of the factors I've talked about and more, meaning that it is much harder for queer media to evolve. Honestly, though I haven't been able to watch/read much queer media from India, the stuff I have seen is really quite decent, it's just that it tends to fail in comparison to some of the brilliant stuff we're seeing from other countries. A while a ago, I bought four queer books by Indian authors, and of the three I've read so far, I'd genuinely recommend two, albeit one with quite a few reservations (I'll be writing about them sometime in the future, just haven't found the time yet). While talking about this with @neuroticbookworm, she brought up the excellent point of how Indian media in general has just been of fairly poor quality lately. It seems to me that a lot of it is catered to more conservative audiences, which results in people like me becoming disillusioned with Indian media and simply moving onto things from other countries. It has been a long time since I've watched anything worthwhile come out of Bollywood. So, it becomes even harder for queer Indian shows to be found at all; a majority of their target audience has already forsaken Indian media as a lost cause.
So, those are a bunch of reasons because of which there's not a lot of discussion about queer Indian media in fandom spaces like Tumblr. Something else I'd like to point out is, it's very hard for queer shows in India to gain much traction whatsoever. Live television slots are ruled by the infamous Indian serials, the majority of the audience being people in their late thirties and older, particularly women. And while homophobia is just as prevalent amongst the youth of India as it is amongst older generations, younger people are far more likely to be engaging with queer media, in India at least. This means that it would be near impossible for queer shows to air on live television the way they do in countries like Thailand and Japan. The majority of Indian youth use global streaming services to watch shows, hence the greater concentration of queer shows on service platforms. (Romil and Jugal is something of a dark horse here—I don't believe it was ever aired, but it was produced by a producer who has a few decently popular serials under her belt and is available on an Indian steaming service—another reason I'm determined to research how tf this show ever came into existence) If we talk of movies, the industry is limited by the iron fist of Bollywood, another reason it's very hard for queer movies to be produced and why they're generally found on streaming sites.
There's just not a lot of people who have the balls it would take to make a queer Indian show/movie and push it to the Indian public beyond a streaming service. I mean, we're all seeing what's happening with the Love in The Big City drama right now, and believe me, public backlash in India would be the same, if not much worse. And if no one in India is watching these shows, why would anyone in any other part of the world? There's barely any public figures that would be willing to participate in such a project, so queer media stays underground. Currently, Karan Johar is the most popular—and one of the only—out celebrities in Bollywood, and, well, he's treated as something of a laughing stock by the public. He has one or two queer adjacent shows under his belt as a producer, but once again, they're barely known and available only on Netflix. There was a movie called Dostana in which he played a straight guy pretending to be gay but, well, that speaks for itself. And well, I can't exactly blame him for it, knowing how the Indian entertainment industry is.
To talk a little more about the specific comparison between India and Korea, I think you're fairly accurate in saying that the two countries seem to be roughly on par in terms of homophobia, although that's an extremely vague statement that's rather hard to either prove or disprove. While the difference in international attention towards Korean and Indian media is certainly a major component of the difference in discussion about the queer media from these countries, there's obviously other things that go into it as well. There's this video I watched some time ago on the progression of queer representation in K-dramas that's quite well researched. It's an hour and a half long, so in case you don't have the time to watch it (though I do recommend it), it basically talks about some of the dramas with queer rep that have aired on Korean television and their impact. While it's hard to gauge the level of impact of these shows on the availability of bls and gls in Korea, they certainly had an effect, if only telling the queer population of Korea that they are seen and heard. To my knowledge (although I may be mistaken), no such queer rep has ever aired on Indian television, meaning that there's nothing to push creators to put queer media out there. There have been old movies and shows that depict queerness, but none of them ever reached the sort of the scale where they may have some sort of impact on the industry. As I mentioned earlier, the widespread popularity of K-dramas (and k-pop) does make it easier for creators to make queer media since there's a much higher chance of the shows being successful thanks to the international audience. Bringing back Love In The Big City, the success of the book abroad and the high probability of the show being well received internationally is probably one of the reasons it was able to be produced amongst domestic backlash.
Now, I've been talking a lot about how it's difficult for queer Indian media to gain any sort of international recognition with domestic attention. However, it's not necessarily the case. Here's where I start rambling (I say, as if this post isn't verging on 2k words). It's been proven that the presence of the international market allows for greater creative freedom in spaces beyond television. The best example comes from Korea's very own 'soft power'; K-pop. There's a K-pop group called Dreamcatcher that debuted in 2017 with a rock sound and horror concept that was extremely rare in kpop at the time. They succeeded mainly by focusing most of their promotions to the foreign market, knowing that their concept would not be well liked in Korea. And they succeeded. Today, Dreamcatcher has a sizeable fandom and has even been growing in popularity in Korea, with the Korean public warming up to their genre and having influenced other girl groups to try out similar sounds. We've already talked about the lack of international attention for Indian media, but there's also the issue that the producers of queer Indian media aren't marketing to foreign audiences, which remain ignorant.
That's all I have, this is so long good lord. All in all, there's a bunch of factors that feed into each other creating a cycle which means that, unless there's a break somewhere, queer Indian media will remain unrecognized. I'm excited to see what other people have to say, because this is a topic close to my heart and I'd definitely enjoy seeing more discussions around it.
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mvrkieboo · 1 month ago
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Old Bloodhounds
P40 | i see the end
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You were trying so hard not to fidget, not to let your smile drop even though Xiaojun and Haechan were being really funny right now. At the back of your mind, you can just see Yoonsu coming closer and closer, wearing Junyoung's face only to distort it, to ruin it, and the memories of Junyoung you have only ever allowed yourself to keep.
Poor Junyoung, buried somewhere in an unmarked grave.
You practically jumped in your spot when a hand gripped on your shoulder. Mark flinched, standing just right by your side when you let out a sudden yelp at the contact. Both of you turned around, and you automatically let out a fake enthusiastic smile as you reluctantly let Yoonsu wrap his arms around you, pulling you into an embrace that lifted you off your feet.
He pushed you away so he can look at your face more closely.
"Junyoung! Oh, it's been so long. I'm glad you made it." You hoped your voice didn't sound too stiff, unconvincing, and terrified instead of happy.
Junyoung's face smiled back at you, but the glee he expressed through Junyoung's soulless eyes was venomous instead of genuine.
This was pure torture.
Yoonsu said he was doing you a favour, but you knew how aware he was in what he's doing with you. There was pure horror and repulsion in your eyes that made Yoonsu the happiest man on earth right now.
Mark looked between you and Yoonsu, wondering why your eyes didn't match your words. When Yoonsu finally let you down, sincerely in love with the way your hands almost desperately clawed at his chest to pull away from him. Mark's eyes didn't miss the way you pulled away from the embrace too—fingers curled at the front of his hoodie, nails attempting to dig in past the thick woven fabric and into his skin.
"Now who's this?" Ningning chirped, and you turned around back to them, the smile still carved into the corner of your lips, making the muscles in your cheeks ache.
"Everyone, meet Lee Junyoung. He was my senior at my highschool in Gangnam, and he helped me out a lot back then when I needed it."
"Hello, everyone. It's nice to see that Y/N actually has so many friends now." He mimicked Junyoung's signature smile that pushed his eyelids close, making the knot in your stomach twist inwards.
You wanted to kill him. With your own bare hands. You wanted to take a knife and carve his face, to pull Junyoung's face away from such a repulsive man.
"Where were you all this time then?" Yangyang spoke almost monotonely, face set straight.
Where were you when Y/N needed you while she was forced to work for a loanshark?
"I moved overseas 3 years ago, to the Philippines, because of my mother's job. I wished we never moved though." Yoonsu turned to you, giving you a meaningful look, eyes telling you all sorts of warning.
"It's okay, I never blamed you for leaving me. You're here now."
You felt like throwing up. You felt like Junyoung's ghost was pulling on your noose from behind, but when you glanced at it, the locket was still hanging off your neck like it usually did. It just felt so much tighter and heavier now.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
"Your friends are more annoying than I thought. The guy who asked me that question—that's Yangyang, right?" Yoonsu didn't even bother to glance at you, still inspecting the music themed accessories on the counter.
"I'll manage him. He's harmless, Yoonsu. Don't mind him." You quickly quipped out, and the palpable fear in your voice made him scoff.
He really loved how scared you were at the moment.
"You know, you should be thanking your stars that your godfathers are practically untouchable. Members of the Min clan—a prominent old money chaebol family—owe them a favour. They're powerful enough to crush me like I'm some sort of roach and flush my body down the toilet without getting caught. Do you know why they're so indebted to Geonwoo and Woojin?" Yoonsu turned to you, bending his body so his face was close to yours.
You shook your head. When you were still working for him, he once slapped you for having bad breath. Markhad let you finish his americano earlier, and you're not taking the risk of getting another slap from Yoonsu in public.
Yoonsu smirked at your meek behaviour and stood up straight again.
"Kim Myeonggil, who used to be a prominent loanshark, had humiliating blackmail material over a member of the Min clan. Thanks to Geonwoo and Woojin however, that blackmail was literally incinerated and Myeonggil is now behind bars—after getting his ass beat by Geonwoo."
You knew Geonwoo and Woojin had connections to the Min clan, but you didn't think it was because they did them a great favour. Yoonsu grasped your cheek, feeling your stone cold skin under his cold palm.
"Now, here you are, someone Geonwoo and Woojin care for, under my mercy for the blackmail I have over you. It'll be real poetic once I kill you. You're their karma, Y/Nnie."
oooooooooooooooooooooo
You entered your unit, startled to see your brother in the kitchen area together with Geonwoo and Woojin. They were cooking dinner altogether, and for a while you stood there at the doorway. Watching your family cook dinner in the kitchen, wearing silly aprons, working in tandem. Yuno always wondered what it would feel like to have older siblings above him that would take care of him just like how he takes care of you, and now his wish was fulfilled, in this short moment that will forever live on in your memories, seared into the back of your mind.
Geonwoo was washing the dishes while Yuno was following Woojin's orders on the steps to making the perfect eggroll. Yuno looked like he was enjoying himself.
Yoonsu will break this family apart. He swore he would, and you knew he always keeps his word.
When Geonwoo turned his head and saw you, you smiled. A genuine smile, for the first time in three days.
Yoonsu was going to kill you after ruining your life anyway, and let you reunite with Junyoung. What's the pain in enjoying this small moment of happiness as it is?
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A/N : if my writing is all over the place here, please excuse it. im kinda high on sleep deprivation rn
oooooooooooooooooooooo
taglist [CLOSED]
@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee
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agendabymooner · 1 year ago
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jollibee, madrid and all that romance fiasco ! oscar p. x ofc (filipino!gen z!ofc)
summary: carlos sainz and his wife, magda, were heading back to spain after taking her and her cousins to the final race before the summer break. they hoped to have a decent break but their wishes were long gone as soon as the mclaren drivers told them about their plans to spend their week in madrid - where the couple conveniently lived.
OR oscar piastri had the fattest crush on magda's cousin, paloma 'lomi' san pedro, and needless to say, he wasn't even making it less obvious as he purchased a ticket to madrid just so he could spend his time with her. was he only looking for that summer romance or did he just fall in love with carlos' in-law?
content warning: use of explicit language, oscar and ofc shitting on each other, tagalog dialogues and translation ahead (i'm not as good as i used to be at speaking it, sorry lads), carlos sainz x ofc, mentions of alcohol use, fictional brother character (niño san pedro), carlos has a close relationship with his in-laws, A LOT OF JOLLIBEE, lando norris and oscar piastri being cultured (filipino), filo humour, lowkey protective!carlos
note: melody is in progress and i gotta let this out because i've been looking at too much unhinged filipino memes today. enjoy xx
masterlist
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tagged carlossainzjr, charles_leclerc, landonorris, monamagdalena, ninojames
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, charles_leclerc
monamagdalena "rich in-law" 😭 liked by lomisanpedro
carlossainzjr you weren't "forced" to wear my number 🙄 get it right hermana liked by lomisanpedro
lomisanpedro ur right. i asked for charles' number and they just conveniently "ran out" of my size 🤔
landonorris look at that handsome man in papaya and black tho 🥵 liked by lomisanpedro
lomisanpedro i'm gonna pretend i haven't seen this comment 😕
landonorris guys i think she's a charles leclerc fan liked and pinned by lomisanpedro
oscarpiastri i have a lot of oscar piastri shirts in your size 😊 liked by lomisanpedro
ninojames what 😄
lomisanpedro how do u know my size 🧐
oscarpiastri i've been looking, observing and mentally measuring
carlossainzjr oscarpiastri compadre do you wanna repeat what you just said?
landonorris don't mind me i'm just watching 🍿🥤
logansargeant so you're the girl he's ogling throughout the week??? liked by lomisanpedro
lomisanpedro and you're the florida boy? 🤓
logansargeant fair enough. nice to meet you though 🤠
lomisanpedro likewise sarge 🤠
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carlossainzjr posted a new story !!!
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tagged ninojames, lomisanpedro, landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainzjr
liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, georgerussell63
user1 i just know it hits different spending your vacation in a filipino-spanish household 😭 liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena there's a lot of "ordinary" volume arguments that's for sure 😅
user2 rip oscar's vocal chords. i know it's barely there but it must've abandoned him the moment the sainz-san pedros pulled up the karaoke liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena landonorris might have slipped some tequila to get the party going for oscar 🙃
mclarenf1 lando we taught you better than this
landonorris mclarenf1 what happened to "one more shot lando!"
mclarenf1 i don't like these accusations, lando.
user3 i can just imagine lando, carlos and oscar yelling "THAT'S NOT HOW DRS WORKS" at your cousins lmfaooo 🤣 liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena yeah my cousins live to give carlitos a headache every once in a while - seeing as they live in philippines and all
carlossainzjr we should have a daycare, mi corazon, because we don't get paid enough for this liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena i agree bebe, if anything we lose more than we earn money 🥲
ninojames stop lying to me carlossainzjr you literally helped me get my tourist visa because you said "you wanted to see your favourite cousin"
lomisanpedro oop- lemme just send this to caco rq 🤭
carlossainzjr ay lomisanpedro you do that, i'm not gonna set up the ac in your room 😒 see how long you'll withstand the heat in spain
lomisanpedro i live in ph but yes po master 😇
lomisanpedro if i have to go golfing one more time, i'm gonna hit you with the club landonorris carlossainzjr ninojames
ninojames speak for urself lmfao
landonorris it's ok i can take it paloma 🤪
carlossainzjr watch your words landonorris
landonorris that's not what i meant ??? 🤬
oscarpiastri barca did good last night no? liked by monamagdalena
monamagdalena heheheh carlossainzjr what do you think?
lomisanpedro carlossainzjr you should've shot him in the foot with the paintball when you had the chance 🤡
carlossainzjr i really should have.
landonorris that's tactical and against the fia rules carlos know better.
mclarenf1 yeah what landonorris said ^^
oscarpiastri that is incredibly mean of you, lomisanpedro 🥲
lomisanpedro show me how you cry rq??
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tagged landonorris, oscarpiastri, lomisanpedro
liked by carlossainzjr and monamagdalena
monamagdalena putang ina pati pa naman sa spain, y'an pa din kinakain niyo? what the fuck, that's (jollibee) what you guys are still eating even in spain? liked by ninojames
ninojames patingin nga kung pa'no yung galit na mukha ate hahahaha ate, show me how you make an angry face
lomisanpedro ba't ka inggit lmaooooo why are you jealous
monamagdalena hoy lomi at niño, nagluto ako kanina di niyo ba kinain 'yon? i cooked earlier today, didn't you guys eat it?
lomisanpedro maarte yung mga bisita mo madam bertud. your guests are picky, madam bertud.
oscarpiastri monamagdalena I AM NOT picky, do not listen to what that gremlin is telling you
landonorris we ate and even washed the pot of sinigang so that gremlin is lying
lomisanpedro this gremlin is her cousin and how tf do y'all know what we're saying-
landonorris we're very smart men
oscarpiastri i'm a diplomat on the side
carlossainzjr NIÑO YOU AND LANDO JUST RACKED UP OUR BILL FOR DOING THAT TO OUR OVEN 🤬 liked by ninojames
ninojames lando was teaching me his dj skills 😕
carlossainzjr DONT MESS WITH THE OVEN LANDOOOO
landonorris we were trying to get lit 😭 you literally had nothing in there but uno and monopoly wtf were we supposed to do???
carlossainzjr i don't know? not play with fire and not rack up our house bill?
oscarpiastri are we having a filipino language session tomorrow then? liked by ninojames
ninojames with tequila?
oscarpiastri i found their stash so yeah with tequila- we should get some bucket of chickens for the session too :)
landonorris wag puro pulutan, dapat inom din. don't just eat, you have to drink too. liked and pinned by ninojames
lomisanpedro I HAVE TAUGHT YOU WELL, YOUNG PADAWAN 🤩
ninojames monamagdalena rate my teaching skills ate magda
monamagdalena what are you guys teaching these two??? 😭
oscarpiastri the basics magda 😊
INCOMING: dog show 😎 (oscar) SENDER: my pal(oma) 🐝 (paloma)
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tagged jollibee, lomisanpedro
liked by carlossainzjr, logansargeant, landonorris
user1 BRO HARD LAUNCHED HIS CRUSH WTF 😭 what god did you pray to?
user2 puro jollibee si bro edi sana nag pinas ka na lang 😭 bro eats a lot of jollibee like you should've just gone to philippines instead
user3 madrid is paloma san pedro, in case you guys didn't know 🤭
landonorris god you are so whipped
mclarenf1 jollibee x mclaren when? 👀
jollibee when there's a philippine grand prix 🐝
ninojames oh so you ditched our session for this? for this ugly ass? liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri we got some palabok and two buckets of chicken joy and we're otw home 😅
ninojames ok maybe i can let you slip for once
lomisanpedro you are so annoying liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri annoyingly considerate when it comes to you because you wanted jollibee this morning 🤭😊
user4 there is too much filipino rizz within pastry guys i think he wins this one
logansargeant was this why you've been rejecting my facetimes today?
oscarpiastri you can wait. jollibee can't.
user5 i'm sorry logan but i agree with him this time
user6 him tagging jollibee 😭 this man is clearly obsessed
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bonus !!!
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PS the fictional san pedro people
ramona magdalena 'magda' (ibañez) san pedro sainz (carlos' wife)
niño james (balagtas) san pedro (carlos' cousin-in-law)
paloma 'lomi' (balagtas) san pedro (also carlos' in-law)
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kaeyats · 2 years ago
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SAGAU,, water park
after the genshin characters (zhongli, xiao, childe, albedo, ei, yae miko, venti, diluc, kaeya, ayaka, ayato, kazuha, aether, paimon, lumine) found a way to leave teyvat and enter earth, you've been bringing them around to experience all the fun things in the modern world. and what's a better place to find some modern fun than in a water park?
reader's gender is not specified, as with most of my works. requests and imagines in my ask box are appreciated, but will take a while. :D
warnings: reader is implied to be rich because this is wish fulfillment and the fic was based on a water park with really expensive tickets so this is the only logical reasoning within the fic, a few suggestive themes because swimsuits (gender neutral) are generally just so, lots of stress and chaos, mentions of alcohol, extreme rides/slides, based on my experiences with water parks in the philippines. these aren't actual warnings and i'm just rambling, aren't i? ^^
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perhaps bringing all of them to a public place at the same time wasn't your best idea and considering how chaotic the trip has been so far, it might as well have been your worst. at the moment, you were quite literally looking and acting like a stressed out single parent, chasing around your ten- eleven children. if you counted ei fighting children to the tiny slides being "a child". never in your lifetime did you think you'd have to babysit the uptight and lawful electro archon (you've been her tour guide in-game, but that doesn't count), but here you were, explaining to her how the area with the extremely cheerful colors was indeed meant for kids under 9, not for gods around 2,000. you tried dragging ei into the wave pool, a place acceptable for adults (or at least adult-looking beings), but she didn't seem to want to interact with the deep waters, choosing instead to sit inside your rented cottage and brood after you dragged her away from all the crying children she threatened for cutting the line. the shallow waters of said "kiddy area" were much more appealing to ei, but she's not even allowed to be there anymore. >:((
both yae miko and kaeya had a lot to say about ei's humiliatingly childish actions, although you noticed kaeya being careful with his words, intelligent even in his teasing — ei was still a dangerous being after all. they teased the poor archon's face into a shade similar to diluc's hair and taking pity on ei, you decided to tell them off. the two eventually went away to do more entertaining things (their words), stepping away to lay down under an umbrella's shade with heavily tinted shades and drinking glasses full of soju. you always suspected that those two would get along quite well and seeing their relaxed figures gossiping about everything and anything on sun loungers, it seemed you were right. unfortunately for you though, they found pleasure in targeting you with their teasing, praising your body in swimwear, often cornering you with flirtatious remarks and inappropriate offers.
moving on, you found yourself your own drinking buddy as well. though you and kazuha chose to drink grape juice instead of anything alcoholic, knowing his.. extremely low tolerance. for a few moments, you found peace with kazuha (and the still-brooding archon sitting in the corner of your cottage, now drowning silently in guilt). you two chatted a lot about your world, you told him about every thought that came to mind and he listened to you with an attentiveness that warmed your heart. you always knew kazuha was a wonderful listener and even when you enjoyed the man's tales of traveling, it was nice to have someone who'd give you time and space to talk as well. the free-spirited wanderer tried some slides and rides with the others a while ago, but he found that conversing with you excited his beating heart more.
but of course, peace never had a chance of lasting with your current companions. after a few minutes of complaining about how venti never finished his food and would always leave random chunks in the open, you were approached by a grinning childe. albedo, xiao, aether, and diluc following closely behind him. a strange combination the more you pondered on about it, but that thought flew out your head the moment ajax opened his mouth, "[name]! me and the others are gonna try out the biggest water slide in the place. is that alright with you?"
"sure, if you can handle it.. wait, why are you even asking me about this? aren't you all literal adults...?"
a blush appeared on the harbinger's face, a common sight when he was around you, "ah, yes- just making sure."
"mm. okay, fair. kazu, i'm coming with them, just to make sure they don't murder any staff on the way." you looked over to the man you were previously sitting with, unaware of the jealous looks being thrown at him by the others behind you. he only seemed to shrug, signaling to you that he was rather fine where he was (and would rather not participate in further chaos). knowing who you were with, you empathized with kazuha's decision to stay behind. if only you had the freedom to run away from your "acolytes", but you doubt they'd ever let you get away from them.
while climbing the stairs towards the massive slide, you realized who exactly childe was bringing with him. you were confused to say the least. the traveler and everyone else was an expected group of folk, but all five of them? you never considered them to be close despite the few weeks they've been in your world. and knowing diluc's deep hatred for the fatui, you were surprised him and the ginger even agreed to doing something together. you weren't complaining though, quite curious about their dynamic. you just wondered how and why they even agreed to this. you had no time to ask however as the screams of the poor tourists going down the slide immediately grappled your attention.
had you asked them, you'd have found out that it was originally childe's idea, aether had agreed to go along with it as he does with most things, and the two originally intended to invite zhongli. he was too occupied with an oddly feminine magazine, thinking it was a record of wisdom from your world. so he instead asked the adeptus next to him to go in his stead, encouraging his somewhat son to pursue fun and bonding time with other people. xiao reluctantly agreed, the promise of excitement (god, listening to zhongli talk about the magazine's advice column was boring) and almond tofu afterwards influencing his decision making. realizing that the slide required four people, childe and aether frantically searched for a fourth, the deafening screams of the people who were currently on the slide spurring on the bloodthirsty harbinger even more.
soon enough, they found diluc who seemed to be in deep conversation with a certain chief alchemist. it took a lot for them to convince the winery owner into joining, but after realizing that going on the ride was probably going to impress you, their mighty and benevolent creator, the one who took them in their beautifully decorated home despite the constant hassle they brought, diluc relented and agreed, if only to showcase his bravery and strength.
now here they were, climbing into the giant floatie they were gonna ride down the slide. childe acted with excitement in his every step, he was quite familiar with the hydro element and he's had his fair share of gliding down waterfalls, slides gave about a similar feeling so he wasn't nervous at all — in fact, he was thrilled, almost psychotically so. unlike childe, diluc appeared quite stoic, quite emotionless about the whole ordeal. however, to anyone who paid attention to the tight grip he had on their floatie's handles and the sweat subtly streaming down his face, they would see that his expression of stone couldn't be further from what he was truly feeling. unfortunately for diluc, a cetain snezhnayan noticed, and he was intent on picking on the red-head later. aether felt quite a bit anxious. no kidding, he's faced many dangerous opponents in the past, but water slide physics had never been one of them. he was excited nonetheless, ready to feel the familiar rush of adrenaline flow through his veins. and as for the adeptus, he was rather.. unsure about what he was feeling. he couldn't remember the last time he felt fear, he was probably one of the strongest beings from teyvat, but here, the usage of his powers were prohibited and one couldn't exactly combat a slide. someway, somehow, his heart rate was faster than usual as he felt an unfamiliar emotion bubbling up in his stomach.
"wait, 'bedo, aren't you going to join them?"
"oh no, they only needed four people. i just tagged along to make a few observations." he explained to you, the waterproof camera you bought him a while ago held securely in his hands.
"for research purposes?" you questioned the brilliant alchemist with a mischievous glint in your eye.
"you can say that, but mostly for entertainment."
you smirked at his response. lately, albedo had appeared more human around you and the others. at first, he was so caught up in researching and trying to understand every single thing in your world, he had forgotten to truly take anything in. but recently you found that he finally let himself just enjoy the moment, letting loose in every new scenario he was introduced to.
albedo was chuckling with you when it was finally childe, diluc, xiao, and aether's turn to sway around the circular looking slide. you never pegged diluc to be a screamer, but out of all four of them, his deep baritone voice was the one heard throughout the resort. his body was rigid and visibly in a state of panic as they continued to move in rapid speeds, you were worried he was going to jump off the floatie mid-slide or something, but to your relief, diluc held on throughout the whole ride. you never thought childe would scream as well, but he did scream a bunch (like a pussy) before he started laughing in excitement (and at diluc's facial expressions, ones that albedo were lucky enough to capture). aether was fine for the most part, his vocal reactions mostly ones out of enjoyment. xiao was even more so rigid than diluc, seemingly frozen in place, silently panicking. he looked like he was holding on for his dear life and for a moment, it awakened your protective instincts.
as you descended down the building with albedo to congratulate your boys for being so god damn brave, you were greeted with the sight of the cavalry captain teasing his brother's unexpected reactions and yae along with ei curiously inquiring aether about the ride, considering taking a turn. zhongli didn't look so well, he looked rightfully concerned for his loyal warrior. despite childe's attempts at hyping him up, the former geo archon refused and left to tend to xiao instead, leaving a spot for the cavalry captain to take.
you discovered a lot of things that day. apparently kaeya, unlike his brother, only grunted when faced with extreme fear. yae remained more composed than ei, even finding the breath to make fun of her during the extreme ride. it came as a shock when you heard the electro archon shriek and hiss like a cat while they were sliding down. albedo's reactions were quite emotionless, only ever making a noise around the part where they fall down. diluc tried again a second time and safe to say, his reactions were quite better than the first time, his screams decreasing significantly in volume. you even had a try yourself and you finally understood why your companions reacted the way they did.
ei, yae, kaeya, and albedo made a good quartet, you thought. it eventually came time that they had to close the rides and after all of the screaming and taking turns on different slides, the four had stayed together as a group. curiously joining their conversation, you found that they made a wholesome dynamic — often conversing about the mundane things in life then it escalating to some philosophical thing, all the while sophisticatedly uplifting one another. yae promoted her, uhh, interesting light novels to albedo at some point and you have never seen him look so flabbergasted yet morbidly curious as when yae explained the premises of some of her favorite books. kaeya just laughed at the interaction between the two, a bit tipsy already. he had learned to embrace the insanity that was guuji yae's interest in novelaw a while back when they were talking.
you had wandered shortly after joining their bickering, exploring the little shops around the water park resort. you bought a trinket for every character you had brought with you, somehow always finding something that reminded you of someone. for venti, it was a pair of socks that had blue green stripes wrapped around them. for aether and paimon, you bought three wooden keychains (one for you to match) that had interesting markings. for diluc, you bought more sunscreen because he always looked so sunburnt despite the many times you rubbed sunscreen all over his body. you chuckled to yourself, you were shopping like a cheap grandma on christmas.
you ran into paimon, lumine, ayato, ayaka, and venti shortly afterwards. only then did you realize that you hadn't seen them much the whole day. apparently, they had been enjoying their own little spa-and-shop day with your credit card (god bless its soul). as much as they wanted to spend time with you the whole day, they'd rather abuse the resort side of the water park than add on the list of children you were tasked to babysit.
"i thought after shopping, you'd finally get rid of those blinding speedos, oh dear bard."
"that's what i kept telling him!" chipped in the ever so chatty paimon.
safe to say you got a whole excerpt about how wearing bright yellow speedos to a water park was nothing to be ashamed of. in fact, in venti's own logic, you should be praising his charmingly good looks and drowning him in attention for wearing such seductive and scandalous clothing. ayato was very, uhm, to put it, disturbed by the whole conversation. you caught lumine shooting him a look of pity more than once throughout the bard's ramblings. you did your best to reassure the kamisato siblings not to worry as it was all just harmless banter with the bard. talking came as one tedious task with the anemo archon constantly whining and sputtering out utter bull next to you. you were this close to shoving a bunch of swimwear into his mouth to shut him up.
but alas, the time came that you had to head home and venti's demise had once again slipped away from your hands. you refused to sit near him, instead forcing him to take the car with the annoyed diluc and the entertained childe. if it were any other night, venti probably would've gotten along with the sly ginger, but the harbinger was instead shot down with the brooding bard's remarks about how stupid he looked. your poor personal driver (amongst many other paid drivers) had to tolerate the frustrated banter tossed around by the three as well as a certain paimon joining in only to stoke the fires of their anger. poor aether did his best to ignore them and just stare out of the car window, wishing he had took the car with you and his sister instead.
you sat down in between lumine and ayato, deciding their company was the most pleasant and well, least stressful to deal with. you laughed along the two, updating them on all the escapades that had occurred a while back — a thoroughly flustered xiao glaring at you three from behind you, zhongli next to him excitedly chatting with ayaka about another magazine (meant for teenage girls) he had found inside one of the stores in the water park.
"so that's what me and lumine heard."
"trust me, i was shocked too. albedo looked like he was having a eureka moment."
"somehow i don't think i can view the winery owner in the same lens after this."
overall, you would rate this day 8/10. fun, really fun. you almost died at the sight of your favorite characters in swimsuits, but it would've been a worthy death. the bonding and the rides were all really fun as well. it would've been 10/10 had venti not been flexing his speedos (and ass) to his fellow archons the whole time.
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mikuyuuss · 2 months ago
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My Mitsuri cosplay at the kny exhibit! My friend also came along as Rengoku so we can reenact the Flame and Love Duo 🔥💖 Heck yeah I'm in my Love Hashira arc 😌😌
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I couple of young girls excitedly yelled "MITSURIIIII!!!" when they saw me, and it makes me happy that a lot of people wanted to take pictures with me or just tell me just much they love my cosplay. One of the little girls was even proudly showing me her Mitsuri pin 🥺💖 One of them even said "where's Iguro?" which uh, yeah sorry 👁️👄👁️ I bought Rengoku tho!
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I also really like this shot of us in the mugen train. It looks like Mitsuri is missing Rengoku here. There were many other cosplayers in the event too, which was a pleasant surprise. A fellow Mitsuri cosplayer even took pictures with me. I'm also glad I got to do a Hashira group picture!
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Also the exhibit itself is also very beautiful and interactive. There's like a small hole that you can sneak in and then you'd see a statue of Uzui's mice. I like that they're hidden so you get to explore more. There's also an interactive classroom from the modern kny spin off where u can sit in class and look at the standee of PE teacher Giyuu. Honestly, it was such a prime photoshoot spot but too bad we can't take pictures there!
There's also a screen where the hashiras are training and talking to you. When I was exploring, I got jumpscared by Mitsuri's voice going "KYAAA a new trainee!!" And then it's funny bc in Giyuu's segment he was like "Hi, if you wanna get stronger go ask the hashiras, ok bye 🏃🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️" Not exact words but that's pretty much it. Ya boy just ditched his responsibilities. Iirc Shinobu did the rest of the explaining while the rest of the hashiras are "Ewwww newbie" 😭
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After the exhibit, you get to play a short mobile mini game and then upon completion, you get a KNY CERTIFICATE! Which is neat! I feel like I just graduated in Kny University lol. And then you get redirected to the merch store.
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I really love that the kny merch has a Philippine exclusive version! I bought the sticker of Uzui riding a jeepney, because that's the main mode of transportation for a lot of us Filipinos and I love to see Uzui representing us like the flamboyant king he is.
Anyways that's all, this was such a fun experience, and probably not the last time I will cosplay Mitsuri. I worked super hard to tailor her outfit, and to make her sword so no way I'm gonna wear this once XD
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grendel-menz · 1 year ago
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Omg can I ask to know more about your pirate ocs? They're lovely 🥺🤲🤲🤲
Thank you for asking omg!! I love OC questions. Right now the pirate crew ocs are still just little mullings in my head as I work - some of them more fleshed out than others.
What I do have down pretty solid is their ship name and time period - Moon Swallower, late 1600s. It's a references to the Bakunawa, a serpent from certain mythologies in the Philippines that's set out to eat the moon for reasons that can vary depending on who's telling the story. The crew originally sailed about South East Asia, but later moved to waters around the Caribbean and North America's east coast. It's why a lot of the older crew members are SEA or Southern Chinese (Lintang, Liwliwa, Bato, Zhao, Hai) and the newer additions/younger crew range differently.
The running theme for the story is vengeance and closure, though everyone aboard the Moon Swallower has a different approach to it. Atm I'm fleshing out the captain's story and personality since it seems a good place to start. Lintang claims to be a ghost of revenge, and wants to wipe imperialists off the map. She's a soft spoken tactician and unbending in will or mercy.
Expanding out from her I've taken a shine to the first mate Liwliwa and the young Orisa. I'm not tooooo sure on their exact backstories yet, but I do know the dynamics between them and the captain. Liwliwa suffered a life similar to Lintang and acts as her mouthpiece to the crew, however, where Lintang is reserved and controlled Liwliwa is painfully heart-on-sleeve and in search of guidance. Orisa is Lintang's daughter picked from a bad situation in a port. Orisa is afraid of her own face, but confident in her lucks and skills. She grows from a quietly sorrowful child to a loud and frequent laugher.
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fueledbysano · 1 year ago
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𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐖 Izana Kurokawa
ligaw. [noun] courtship; dating; woo. the university's local rockstar tries to win your heart in his classy ways ♡
♱ izana kurokawa x fem!reader
♱ tags, and for my favorite people in the fandom, Izana stans 🖤 : @hiraethsdesires @fuyuluvr @izanazqueen @iluvizana @half-baked-biscuit @ask-the-insect-hashira @sukunassuka @izanapogi @em-plosion @chrofeisnightmaregf @mattsune
♱ a/n: belated happy birthday to our king 🫀 I'm sure all my filipina girlies will agree when I say that Izana is that expensive guy who hangs out a lot in bgc and is probably famous in campus.
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Izana Kurokawa was quite a popular guy on campus at his university in the Philippines. He was a part of the “Tenjiku” band, playing the guitar, and he was known for his love of motorcycles and his skill on two wheels. He was known to make quite an entrance when he parked his bike before his classes.
Izana had always been a bit of a control freak when it came to his precious guitar. It was the day of the university’s annual festival night, and his band was going to perform. Izana's instrument was like an extension of himself. He took great care of it, tuning it to perfection before each show and making sure that no one else touched it without his permission. Not even his band mates, he knew they were professionals themselves, but he trusted it to no one but himself.
So as Tenjiku bandmates were doing a soundcheck on the empty stage, Izana’s heart dropped when he saw a stage crew carrying his guitar. Her name plate read “[ Y / N ]” at the front, carrying his guitar carefully. If she wasn’t wearing the pass, he would’ve mistaken her for another performer, considering how attractive and how nice she was styled too.
He usually would’ve thrown a fit, but it wasn't just that she was touching his precious instrument, but the way she was carrying it. She was holding it with such care, like it was a priceless work of art rather than just a tool for playing music.
“What are you doing with my guitar?” he asked, his tone serious.
“Some amateurs and I think… fans managed to get backstage and peek at your instrument,” [ Y / N ] explained. "I couldn't let them touch it, so I took it to you. Sorry if I intruded."
Izana was impressed by her care and consideration. He knew how much his guitar meant to him, and he was grateful to have someone like her who understood that. “I’ll get someone to bring you guys’ your water bottles too, the performance starts soon.”
And so as Izana was performing on stage, his guitar ringing out over the crowds as they cheered and clapped. He was in his element, the music flowing through him like blood, the energy of the crowd pulsing through his veins.
But as the set went on, he started to notice that his guitar was sounding a little off. It wasn't much, just a slight distortion that seemed to be coming from the speakers, but it was enough to rattle his concentration. He couldn't focus on the music, constantly worrying about whether the audience was hearing the same thing.
Luckily, [ Y / N ] seemed to be listening in, because she quickly rushed up to the sound booth to fix the distortion. "There we go," she whispered, her voice low and calm. Izana quickly peeked at her from a distance, grateful for the assistance. She quickly started to tinker with the equipment, checking the cables and fixing a few loose connections after giving him a quick nod.
Izana couldn't help but feel a pang of attraction at what she just did. She seemed so passionate about her work, and he couldn't help but admire that.
Izana was still riding the high of his band's performance at the end of the night, when he spotted [ Y / N ] at the parking lot. As he made her way towards her , he felt a sense of anticipation, eager to see her again. “Hey.” he said, catching up. “Thanks for all the help again today.”
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel her heart rushing as she looked up at him. She felt a mix of emotions– admiration, attraction, and a bit of nervousness. “Of course,” she said, a hint of exhaustion mixing with her kind tone. “You guys did so well. I liked your set.”
Izana smiled at her words, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction. “Thanks,” he said. “You know, I never let anyone touch my guitar, but you carried it like a pro. Not to mention, you noticed the off-distortion in the middle of my performance. I must say, that was really impressive.” He smiled. “At least let me take you to your place. It’s getting late too.”
As they rode through Taguig City, [ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and adventure. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair, and the way the city lights stretched out before her like a dazzling kaleidoscope. Izana was the perfect driver, making their trip smooth and comfortable.
Despite the late hour, the streets were still full of people– college students, young professionals, and tourists alike. The city was alive with energy, and it felt as though they were being called in.
As they neared the corner, Izana spotted a food bazaar and immediately made a left turn. [ Y / N ] followed his lead, smiling as she took in the sights and sounds of the bustling night market. “I love this place,” Izana said, dismounting the motorcycle and helping [ Y / N ] down. They were immediately met by the colorful stalls, the sizzling sounds of meat cooking, and the call of the vendors. [ Y / N ] followed Izana through the maze of tents and stalls, trying to make sense of the smells, sounds and smells that attacked her senses.
Finally, they reached a stall that seemed to capture Izana's attention, and she watched as he ordered a plate of sisig (spicy pork dish) and a serving of white rice while [ Y / N ] settled with a simple order of Lumpia (egg rolls).
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but smile, appreciating the joy on his face. She had never seen a grown man enjoy food so much. As they sat there, she couldn't help but think about how much they had done together in such a short amount of time. It had only been a night, and she had gone from never having heard of him to having a well-deserved late dinner together after a long day of putting up a show for everyone in the university.
The night air was cool and crisp, and the sounds of the street vendors and bustling crowds filled their ears as they walked. The vendor poured the frosty coconut juice into two glasses and handed them over to Izana, who smiled and held out one of the glasses to [ Y / N ]. She took a sip, and the cool liquid refreshed her after the long, hot day. The juice was creamy and sweet with a hint of coconut, and [ Y / N ] found herself finishing the glass before she knew it.
As they rode through the city, the lights and billboards shining brightly against the nighttime sky, [ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and amazement. It was one of those moments that made her feel tiny and insignificant, like she was just a spec in the vastness of the universe.
Izana rode with a sense of ease and grace, his eyes scanning the streets for any potential hazards. She felt safe and secure in his arms, like he was her personal guardian from the world's dangers.
As they neared her dorm, she couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness. The night had flown by in a flash, and she wasn't ready for it to be over. But she knew that it was only the beginning of their time together. She knew that there would be many more nights like this, many more adventures and experiences to share.
and she was right, it was just the beginning of something beautiful with Izana. Him being a man of class and culture, Izana went on going above and beyond to truly show [ Y / N ] that he was serious about her.
He would surprise her with gifts, take her on unforgettable dates, and become her personal rider as they go to and go home from school together on his bike. He was a true gentleman, and made sure she was comfortable.
He was a natural leader, someone who was always in control, always focused and driven. And yet, he was also sensitive and compassionate, always putting [ Y / N ]'s needs above his own. He was a man with a kind heart and a fierce love for those he cared about, and [ Y / N ] knew that she was one of the lucky ones to have him in her life.
Izana was a true connoisseur of the finer things in life, and he loved sharing that with [ Y / N ]. She was flattered that he took such joy in showing her the luxurious and artistic side of the city, and she knew that these experiences would be forever etched in her memory. These activities not only brought them closer together, but also made them appreciate the beauty of life and the world around them.
So as an arts lover through and through, he loved taking [ Y / N ] to art museums and galleries, where they could spend hours gazing at the incredible works of art, appreciating the beauty of each piece. From the historically rich walls of Manila into the imposing architecture in Bonifacio Global City, they would stroll along the streets, surrounded by high-rise buildings and lush greenery. The city was alive with energy, and there was always something new to discover.
As much as they loved high-end corners of Taguig, Izana and [ Y / N ] would often venture out to Cubao, the place to be for the local music scene where they could catch local bands jamming out and performing live music. It was a unique experience, and they could feel the energy of the crowd as they watched the bands on stage.
They enjoyed exploring different venues and checking out different genres, from rock to indie to even jazz. Izana was a big fan of rock and indie music, so they often frequented places like the Hard Rock Cafe, which featured local bands playing these genres. [ Y / N ], on the other hand, enjoyed exploring different genres and discovering new bands that Izana loved. They loved the experience of trying out different sounds and seeing the different reactions of the crowd.
It was during these moments that [ Y / N ] felt the most in tune with Izana. They would rock out to their favorite songs, sharing headphones and singing along together. It was a way for them to express themselves, and even though they had different music tastes, they found common ground in their shared love of live music.
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel grateful for the love and commitment that Izana showed her every day. She was truly blessed to have found someone like him, who was not only her lover, but also her best friend, her confidant, and her soulmate. She knew that their love was something special, something that would last a lifetime.
So when [ Y / N ] gave Izana her sweet "yes", everything was worth it. As Izana held [ Y / N ] in his arms, the whole world seemed to fade away. All he could see and feel was her, and their shared love. He had waited for this moment for so long, and now it was finally here. Everything had led up to this moment - the long nights of studying, the late nights of conversation, and the sweet moments shared together.
It was now as if they were one, united in their love for one another. They had started as friends, and now they were partners, companions, and lovers. It was a journey that had taken them from strangers to soulmates, and it was one that they would always share from now on.
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makapatag · 11 months ago
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thoughts about a national "filipino" culture
this post is written after a bout of rereading fanon. this post is by no means a hikayat or persuasive piece but rather pure unfiltered thoughts, perhaps ya'll will find it interesting.
filipino culture is largely revolutionary. this is true of almost every colonized culture: as according to Fanon, National Culture is the Struggle for Liberation, and I largely agree with this. in a way, we are still struggling for liberation from outside forces. in many ways, the Philippines is still a colony (or, perhaps, a neocolony) of america. thus colonialism is still on going. thus, fanon's terminology of colonized/colonist dichotomy is still very effective when applied to modern filipino identity.
i've been pretty vocal about my perspective on filipino identity: it being mostly constructed during the american colonization of the philippines. even to this day, i believe that it is mostly a regurgitation of american culture, even seemingly activist perspectives. much of filipino culture is repurposed from american educational systems. much of filipino culture talks about filipinos, and ignores a vast majority of the other people in the isles. ask the general activist how a bisaya or mindanaowon revolutionary and they will balk.
fanon argues that national culture is just the culture of the struggle that arises from nationhood. after decolonization, both colonized and colonist die. what then, afterwards? he states that national culture is the best way to achieve international solidarity. smaller scale focuses of culture can create better and more authentic cultures instead of vague and generic eidolons. i largely agree for the most part, though we can definitely peer a lot deeper. fanon is also quick to argue that national consciousness (the consciousness to fight for liberation) is different from nationalism (that thing that very quickly leads to fascism).
in the case of the philippines, multiple different culture still exist in milieu with the rest of philippine culture. fanon's works talk alot about the importance of word and language in the colonized's world. so it is here: the filipino as a term is claimed from the colonizers (filipino used to mean spanish that lived in the isles). can it be redeemed and twisted into an empowering word for us, na nakatira dito? potentially (as with all things its mostly a percentage chance). unfortunately, larger is the chance that we completely assimilate into the term: we become spanish people that live in the isles, despite having an already multinational culture (the tagalogs, the bisayas, the bikolanos, etc. all only sharing culture through colonization, in the same way africa shares culture through colonization but have bespoke cultures in and of themselves). thus why there's a tendency for filipinos to be separate from the indigenous people of the philippines, despite tagalogs, bisaya, etc. being indigenous people of the philippines
"but waks, bitch boy, you can't compare the ph to the africa and whatnot they're too big!" witness the philippines' true size in comparison to mainland seasia
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multiple empires can fit within the philippines in size, so that's a fraught argument.
anyway, as i reread fanon i'm realizing too many leftist spaces (at least, mainstream ones in the PH, and especially the manilenyo ones) are currently ascribing to the first kind of culture that fanon spoke about (regurgitation of white culture): looking for pieces of culture to turn into "filipino identity", reinforcing fragments of filipino identity, conveniently forgetting other cultures in the ph (and some even being outright hostile against the idea) when it doesn't benefit their movement (which is annoying, because as real marxists we should be including them under a single revolutionary solidarity). increasingly it's beginning to feel like (manila centric) Mass Organizations are becoming just larger college orgs
however, i'm not saying that won't change--i feel like these orgs will evolve past anyway. and harnessing the power of guilt-ridden petty boojwazee instilled with the fervor of national consciousness is pretty potent in mobilizing large movements, even if they end up burning out by the end of it
so at the end of it i accept filipino as a geographical and revolutionary description, but not as a cultural nationalistic descriptor (as that would end up with us redoing the colonizer's culture). it is a stepping stone. and perhaps we might need to rejigger our definition of the filipino: maybe change its name to pilipinhon (coming from the philippines) from bisaya. or barring that, look at it differently, refuse the colonized intellectual urge to make it a culture like our colonizer's, and accept the culture as it is, of struggle and of liberation.
and then accept that there are multiple cultures underneath it--that there are tagalog cultures and bisaya cultures and lumad cultures and bikolano cultures etc. etc. hell, if the spanish didn't hand us over to the americans, who's to say that the philippines wouldn't have split into multiple different nations (a bisaya nation, a tagalog republic, etc.) it almost happened multiple times in the past. the only thing stopping us was colonialism :)
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absolutebl · 4 months ago
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hello!!
i honestly think this is a really weird question to ask; but, in your opinion—what age group people should watch bl dramas?
i'm a teen atm who just reads bl fanfics, but lately i've been getting a bunch of bl drama fmvs on my recommendations on yt😭 and it kinda makes me feel tempted to watch the dramas, but i think i'm a bit too young for it, so i'd appreciate if you could tell me what age i should prolly start watching at :D
thank you in advance, i hope you have a good day/night!!
Hum, good question. I'm not sure. I started reading pretty racy stuff very young, so I don't think I'm the best judge.
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But there are certainly BLs that if you read fanfic already, just have lite romances and a bit of smooching. So 13 maybe?
I wouldn't necessarily "recommend it," because I can't make that choice for you. You know yourself much better than I do. But there is certainly BL I would classify as YA in a section of a "bookstore," if that helps?
I think you'll want to try to develop a critical eye to the media you are watching/consuming in order to understand some of the messaging it's doing and the cultural leanings it has. Than you'll be fine. If you've waded into this blog, that's a start. It's all I do.
In other words:
BL is not produced in a bubble it's saying lots of other stuff beyond the romance and smooches.
So is all music, books, art.
Please just remember this stuff is for entertainment, not life guidance, and you'll be fine.
That said, since you're a teen, there are certainly many BLs that are very racy and high heat. And some that represent highly toxic relationships. These might be best avoided for now.
If you read BL fanfic or soft yaoi manga then I do have some rec lists that might work for you (stuck at the bottom) but they weren't written with teens in mind. So if you don't feel like your ready, don't watch it, and if you find yourself at all uncomfortable with the show (and I cannot emphasize this enough) STOP watching it.
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Please always feel comfortable stopping a piece of media if you feel at all unsafe or uncomfortable or just don't like it.
There is always something else out there you'll like more.
Some quick "YA style" BLs off the top of my head:
My Love Mix Up (either Japan - VIki or Thailand - YT)
My School President (Thailand - YT)
Light On Me (Korea - Viki)
Seven Days (Japan - grey)
I Cannot Reach You (Japan - Netflix)
Wish You (Korea - Netflix)
Semantic Error (Korea - Viki)
Our Dating Sim (Korea - Viki)
Takara-kun and Amagi-kun (Japan - Viki)
Restart After Come Back Home (?)
Cherry Magic (Japan - Crunchroll)
Ingredients (Thailand - YT)
He’s Coming to Me (Thailand YT)
Gameboys (The Philippines - Netflix)
Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan - Viki)
About Youth (Taiwan - Viki)
I think it's no accident most of these are from Korea or Japan (mostly on Viki.)
Korea, in general, is going to be largely better for your age bracket, they specialize in soft BL with lower heat levels (with very few exceptions).
Japan can veer heavily in the opposite direction, so come ask me again if you find one not on this list and you're not sure, I can warn you.
Thai stuff is easier to find but it's all over the place and can get super super sexy.
Taiwan tends to go more adult content.
If you're confined mostly to YT because of your age, than you're mostly asking about Thai stuff. Drop me another Ask and I'll draw you up a specific list of YA Thai BL on YT but that might take me a bit of research.
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respectthepetty · 7 months ago
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out of curiosity are some colours more common than other, is it possible to rank them as most to least common?
By this question, do you mean in QLs? As color-coded characters? Who are in color-coded pairs?
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Well, I'm not a data person. I work in the humanities, so we don't "do" numbers, but if I had to compile a list based solely on my consumption of QLs (Thailand who is the largest producer of QLs, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Philippines, Vietnam, and even China) , yeah. I would state that some colors are more common than others.
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So on that note, black is the most common color-coded character.
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Black is normally paired with a "light" character in the forms of multicolored characters or white-colored characters, so I don't really rank "light" characters, but they would be next in line if they were one color.
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But black is also paired with blue.
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Which means blue is the second most common color-coded character.
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Korea tends to pair blue with green. Japan normally pairs it with yellow/orange. However, Thailand mainly pairs it with red.
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The next most common color-coded character is red, which is significantly fueled by Thailand.
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Strangely, yellow/orange (usually used interchangeably) is the next most common color-coded character.
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It's odd because previous to 2022, there were not that many, but they are popping up a lot more in the past two years, specifically in Thai media.
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Which means green is now slightly behind yellow/orange since Thai media doesn't use it as much, and Japan and Korea haven't used it as much recently either.
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Next is pink.
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Which much like red, is basically because of Thailand.
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Purple and brown get no love!
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However, brown has strangely been used more than purple.
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Which is why I have high hopes for Wandee Goodday since Wandee will be a purple color-coded main character.
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So yeah. Nothing too formal, but based on my informal observations, this is how the colors would rank from most common to least common color-coded characters in the QLs I've watched.
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Thanks for the ask.
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twistedtalking · 5 months ago
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Welcome to Twisted Talking (2.0)! Your one-way ticket to NRC. (Asks/interactions open)
Twisted Talking is a roleplay blog with a twist (pun unintended).
The TWST fanfiction writing/requests shall be moved to @write4me-twstandocs . Please check that out as well!
Mayo (which is me btw), will not be role-playing just one character, but the whole cast! (Rollo too, I guess... Staff definitely tho!)
There are different levels of role-playing! Canon-compliant, Romantic, and Yandere. These would be symbolised by symbols?
🤨- Canon Compliant :)
😏- Romantic <33
🫣- yandere ;)
3. You can also send letters! But beware, I might take longer since uh-oh I am tempted to print it on paper.
4. I do take NSFW asks, but only in Canon, so it would be just their horrified reactions.
5. Minors welcome here. I've seen lots of yandere fic blogs that say minor dni, and as a teenager who hasn't yet reached her debut, I feel super sad about it. So yeah, minors welcome!
DNI LIST
○Those with church/religious trauma, specifically Christianity. More for you than me, since I add bible verses to each of my posts. Feel free to block!
○ Those who are rude about Christ in my blog. My God is very important to me, so if you got something to say, don't say it here. Or I'll block you.
You now know everything you need to know to ask/roleplay. Now, personal stuff! About me, the one running this thing!
My alias is Mayo! I am a binibini (maiden) from the Philippines! I am currently a not-yet 18 year old. I am quite excited about my debut ngl.
Other than Twst, I am very fond of manga! I've read tbhk and wotakoi! I'm also excited for "The flower that blooms with dignity" anime adaptation! I also love musicals, like Six and Hamilton. Very excited for Epic the Musical's release too! (I also code)
Outside of tumblr, I am a high-school student (middle school, by Japan's standards), who wants to spread the word of God! That's why I add bible verses on each of my posts! My dream is to one day be a Voice Actor in America, while also doing accountant work. I also one day want to live in Japan!
My main account on tumblr is called @/everydaytwstsimp. Its mainly for reblogs though.
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screwpinecaprice · 1 year ago
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Additional notes:
> Please don't send any photos of yourself in the DMs. Personally it's pretty uncomfortable not gonna lie. 😅 Maybe if there's at least a third person in the chat it's alright.
> I do not work with adultXminor ships. This is already in my Dont's section but to explicitly mention: If the older character is already an adult when they met/know the minor, it counts. Aging up the latter counts. Do not get cheeky and find a loophole. Rest assured, I'm not going to blow up at you for asking if you aren't sure. However any works of such content sent to me for reference is a high potential cause for being blacklisted.
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Regular commissions are closed for August and September 2024!
Thank you so much for those who ordered a commission, to those who even considered, and to those who shared my price sheet! 🥰
On a tighter budget? Check out my Kofi commisisons!
PS: If you must pay before I can send an invoice, do just pay in USD. USD to Philippine Peso exchange rates fluctuates a lot and I'm hoping not to convert it during a very low rate.
PS 2: Edit to be added: I will be refusing orders which designs I have to make up myself.
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crwdgoinapeshit · 7 months ago
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Thony's Character
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I know most find Thony to be an irritating character and believe me when I say I'm one of them, but I do think(or at least hope) that last episode's opening is foreshadowing to her becoming head of the Sin Cara Cartel.
Now I know that makes absolutely no sense given that Thony has not a clue on how to run a cartel, let alone how to be a successful criminal. However, this is a show that had a cardio-thoracic surgeon, who hadn't preformed a single surgery in half a decade, do a pediatric liver transplant on her own. So you know suspend disbelief.
Deadline recently did an article where they spoke on the future of the show. In the article, they mentioned that the show runners pitched some ideas on where to take things without Adan no longer being a part of the show and those ideas were "well received".
I get the feeling those ideas involved a more empowered Thony going forward and with Ramona's health in question I can see the writer's finding a way to place Thony in her position.
*There are some big spoilers under the cut at the veryyyyyyyyyyy end so be mindful* I'll put SPOILERS so you know when to get out!
In a earlier episode this season, Jorge's character did theorize that Thony likes the chaos of crime and that's why she's "there." I'm starting to believe that to be true.
In the beginning, when Hyak, Garrett and Arman were lording over her she did the best she could with the circumstances she was in. Personally, I think that's why Thony's character was more likable in season 1, she wasn't choosing this. However, at the end of season 1 she actively made a decision to stay in America. She wanted to run an illegal clinic at the back of their cleaning shop, all while both she and Luca are undocumented.
Thony not wanting to go back to the Philippines because of Marco made sense, she wouldn't have been able to divorce him given the laws there. To be frank, the show's writing never left me feeling she stayed in America because she was running from Marco, but rather she was running towards Arman. There were no scenes post Marco's death where she toyed with the idea of going back to the Phillippines to resume her career as a high powered surgeon and freely have access to the anti-rejection meds Luca would need for the rest of his life.
I can't remember which episode Arman got out of jail, 2 or 3, but in her first conversation at La Habana she begged arman to ask Bosco to move a couple of boxes through Sin Cara's routes. Thony was now actively choosing to engage in illegal activities even though she could go back to the Philippines where not only she could buy these meds legally, she could go back to work as a surgeon, but most importantly Luca would be much safer and not undocumented.
Thony's circumstances post season 1 are her own fault. I think that's why a lot of watchers are irritated with her character. Watching her judge other people, beg people to help her out of her own mess, shame people for not risking their livelihoods to help her or Luca has grown annoying. Season 2 was the start of that type of character writing, but I do think season 3 has been a bit of an improvement.
I know Fiona going to Russo was stupid, but I can see why she did it. Fiona has lived the entirety of her children's lives in America and no trouble like this has come her way. She kept her head down and focused on providing an education for her children. She wasn't perfect, but she surely didn't get into the crosshairs of criminals along the way lol. I can see why Fiona is on edge. Thony is afterall living under Fiona's roof and driving around in her car. I'm sure they split the bills, but still Fiona and by extension Chris and Jaz will pay the price for Thony's responsibilities. I mean Fiona did get arrested and deported because of the hospital fiasco. A situation that wouldn't have occurred back in the Philippines because the life saving treatment Luca needed was not experimental there. Funny how that works.
Ultimately, my hope is that Thony gets some power in her hands because three seasons of her getting tossed around and blaming other people isn't going to keep the show around. She needs to become more likable. Likable characters aren't synonymous to "decent people", but savvy, humorous, loyal, etc. This recent episode's ending with her and Ramona was a damn good start. I'm just praying that the writer's keep that tone going. I want to see Thony own her situation unapologetically and do what needs to be done. Jorge's line earlier about Thony liking the chaos seems to ne an accurate estimation of her character. Now I need Thony to commit to this life and actively make alliances/choices to protect her family, while she delves deeper into the life.
I know the Russo/Jeremy/FBI bomb is on the table waiting to go off, but I need it to stay ticking until season 4. I'm still praying we get a season 4 and we see Thony switch from working for the Sin Cara Cartel to one of the heads of the snake.
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I can see Jorge surviving the season. He was in an instagram video with our little Lucas' last scene at Thony's house.
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I'm not sure Ramona makes it out because Kate posted an instagram video while they still filming episode 10. that made it seem like she was now working on a new project. Granted my Spanish is not great, but I could make out her asking for well wishes on her new project.
I unfortunately don't think Nadia makes it out, because the actress posted a farewell insta. Then there was that picture that Elodie posted and then IMMEDIATELY took down. Yikes on bikes!
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So my prediction is Jorge and Thony are the ones left standing to run the cartel. I saw Jorge's face on Russo's board, so I think moving forward they'll be doing everything they can to get out from under the FBI's crosshairs.
Maybe Ramona takes the fall to protect Jorge and to make sure Violetta has him. Either way, I just DON'T want Thony behind bars. I'm tiredddddddd of her being metaphorically on her back, always fighting to get up on her feet, I want her to end the season empowered. Last season ended that way, but I think given Adan's health coming into the new season they had to pivot.
Sorry for the LOOONNNNGGGGG post :)
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fubukinorris · 2 years ago
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❧ "i'd love to see me from your point of view"
♢regular tags: fluff, established relationship, long distance relationship (shinichiro, akane), alcohol (ryusei), gn! reader, reader is nicknamed bituin (shinichiro), babe (ryusei, senju), and sunshine (chifuyu)
ft. chifuyu matsuno, ryusei sato, shinichiro sano, senju kawaragi, inui akane
a/n: this song made me cry. i really, really want someone loving me one day.. probably when i get over my fears and manage to love myself.
(It's like you got superpowers Turn my minutes into hours) -Shinichiro Sano
"And there was this announcement about the races..."
You met Shinichiro about a year ago. You found him dragging two motorcycle engines along the road and you felt inclined to help him. That help had the element of exchanging numbers, a few dates, and a weird confession that ended up with you and him in bed.
Nevertheless, even when Shinichiro had to go back to his homeland, he was always thinking about you. Sure, he had to work a few more hours at the bike shop to pay for international calls, but it was worth it every time.
"Oh! And I won a contest today! You won't believe how I did it!" Your excited voice makes Shinichiro chuckle. "Tell me all about it, bituin. I have time."
"You sure? Isn't it midnight there?" You ask him. "You should be sleeping, Shin. Don't tell me you're gonna stay up all night and work at the bike shop..."
"Well, my work involves the bike shop but I'm not going to stay up all night. Again." Shinichiro scratches the back of his neck as he said that, laughing a little. "Enough about me, bituin. Tell me about that contest."
"Ah, right! So my instructional materials..."
Shinichiro didn't mind that the late hours were fast approaching. He couldn't wait to see you again. After all, he'll be hearing your voice again in a few months. He needed to count his money for a flight to the Philippines.
(You know me better than I do Can't seem to keep nothing from you) -Sato Ryusei
Ryusei didn't mind if you drank a lot. Besides, you only drank whenever you had a problem. Which was... usually every at the end of the month.
It didn't help that it was finals month. You were already on your fourth glass of whiskey, but it was strange to Ryusei. He had been with you long enough to know that you were a loud type of drunk, yet here now, you were as quiet as a mouse.
Something was up.
"Babe." Ryusei lightly taps on your shoulder. "You've been quiet all night. Did something happen?"
You were still quiet, but you only nod. Ryusei didn't really need to ask, so he just holds his arms out. "Come on, I hate seeing you like this."
A sniffle was heard from you, and you wipe your eyes before you bury yourself into his arms. "What made you think something was wrong, Ryu?"
"You're an annoying baby when you're drunk, babe." Ryusei teases with a small chuckle. You look up at him, pouting. "Can't really hide anything from you can't I?" You ask before burying yourself back into your boyfriend's chest.
Ryusei gently strokes your hair. "Mhm. Nothing really, no."
(I'm getting used to receiving Still getting good at not leaving) -Kawaragi Senju
Senju always spoils you. A lot. Even a simple window-shopping date would end up with you carrying at least one bag of something that you liked.
Senju just... liked buying you stuff. You weren't financially struggling, just really, really silent with what you want and you always decline if anyone would offer you to buy something. Even when someone wanted to treat you for food, you would say no.
"Babe." Senju finally puts her hands on your shoulders. "You can't say no to this one."
"But, baby-" You try to start but your girlfriend shakes her head. "No. You can't decline this one. This is something you've been wanting try and eat for months!"
You had a perplexed look on your face. "Listen, baby. I really appreciate the things you do, but I don't deserve them." You hold her hands as you say that, looking down. "I really... really don't."
There was something laced in your tone of voice. Senju knew that tone all too well. She cups your face now, making you look at her. "Babe. You deserve everything. You... you really do." Senju smiles a little. "If anything, it's me who doesn't deserve you."
You widen your eyes at that, trying to stop the tears from falling. "Don't cry." Senju wipes your tears away with her thumbs. "Listen, you're valid and you deserve so much. Now come on, lets go and try that dessert you've been eyeing."
(You love my lips 'cause they say the Things we've always been afraid of) -Inui Akane
You and Akane met through a mutual friend. The friend hangouts would turn into friendly dates and those friendly dates would lead to romantic dates.
This was your first relationship with someone. And someone like Akane was... a one of a kind.
It was like the red strings of fate pulled you both together, and ever since then the both of you have been inseparable. All those pictures, dates, hugs, and kisses is what made your relationship with Akane much more meaningful.
"Look, it's snowing." Akane giggles when a snowflake lands on your nose. "I guess winter's coming early."
"Funny, winter reminded me of our first date." You say with a laugh. "I was... a nervous wreck, now that I remember it."
"Tell me about it. You spilled juice all over yourself." Akane had a teasing grin and you only blush at the memory. "I didn't spill! The cup just moved on its own!" You retaliate in defense, making Akane laugh. "Hey, Akane-chan! Stop laughing!"
Akane couldn't stop her fit of laughter and you cup her face with your mittens, making her stare at your red face. Akane's face mimicked yours, obviously surprised. "Uh--Wow, you're on a trip to memory lane, are you?"
You only smile. "Yeah... I remember cupping your face like this..."
"And I put my arms around your neck..." Akane does the action, now smiling.
You both stare at each other before closing the gap. The first kiss is always the most memorable, and while others say that finding that spark was impossible, you and Akane definitely kept the spark going.
(I wanna love me The way that you love me) -Matsuno Chifuyu
Chifuyu was always the aggressive golden retriever in the relationship, and even he seemed to notice too. He was clingy, affectionate, a gentleman; you name it.
But what really came down to it was how passionate he was. You didn't mind that he read shoujo manga. You were an avid reader yourself, and that meant the conversations would be way longer than anyone else that you knew.
"Sunshine!" It was the usual routine once more, with the blond hugging you from behind and you giggling at the affectionate action. It had been... what, only six months? Yeah, six months since the both of you started dating. "Hey, Fuyu." You lean up and kiss him on the cheek. "Ready to go?"
Chifuyu lets go of the hug, still smiling. "Why wouldn't I be ready for this? It's our six month anniversary!" He held your hand as the both of you walked in the crowded streets of Shinjuku. There was a Nana themed coffee shop and Chifuyu wanted to take you.
You were curious now, so you finally plucked up the courage. "Hey, Fuyu?"
"Hmm?"
"How come you're always happy around me?"
Chifuyu looked at you, stunned. "Why wouldn't I be happy around the love of my life?"
"Well..." You cleared your throat. "I dunno. I just have that nagging feeling."
Chifuyu had a blank expression on his face before leaning to kiss your nose. Your face turns bright red at the action, and the blond only smiles sweetly. "I love you too much. Seeing you everyday was a blessing already. And dating you? That was probably the best miracle I could ever ask."
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bbobpul · 1 year ago
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midnight memories — kmg
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PAIRING. kim mingyu x reader SUMMARY. in search of the true meaning of home, i found myself in baguio city, a place that failed to capture my heart. amidst homesickness, i encountered mingyu, a kind stranger who became my refuge. GENRE. fluff, angst W/C. 2.7k NOTE. enjoy pls (⁠ノ゚⁠0゚⁠)⁠ノ⁠→ other works
"home," a word effortlessly spoken, yet its essence evades definition. what does it truly mean? is it found in a person, a lingering connection to a distant place visited but never returned to? does it reside in cherished memories or the beckoning of a soulful city? in reality, the concept of home intertwines with personal journeys and unique experiences. must it always be perfect, brimming with eternal happiness?
though i've wandered this world for what feels like eternity, stability remains elusive. a perpetual seeker, i've resided in baguio city for three fleeting years. still, this place fails to capture the essence of home, as a piece of my heart remains bound to my birthplace.
homesickness, a familiar companion, anchors me amidst life's ebb and flow. it echoes in my studies, reverberates through the hours spent toiling at the local café, and even in the faces of transient tourists gracing baguio's streets. a bittersweet melody courses through my veins, for i yearn for the comforting warmth of home, while simultaneously cherishing the fleeting beauty that surrounds me.
baguio city, they say, wears a cloak of melancholy in the philippines, as many come, not with the intention to stay, but to pass through its embrace. some arrive to study, like me, while others seek to forge memories, but in a matter of days, they leave, leaving this place behind, carrying those cherished moments in their pockets. three years in this city and yet i've met more tourists here than locals.
in the hush of that moment, the cafe's door chimed, announcing an arrival. engrossed in my task of wiping the counter, i caught only a glimpse of a towering silhouette casting a gentle shadow over me.
"excuse me, could i have a large strawberry creme frappe, please?"
i glanced at the customer, then shifted my gaze towards the clock. 12:34 am. strawberry drink at such an hour? i stole another look at him, and there it was—a radiant smile that seemed to hold the answers to my unspoken questions.
"a large strawberry creme frappe for whom?" i inquired.
"mingyu," he replied, his grin widening with delight.
"alright, please wait for your name to be called as i make your drink." i said with my customer service voice while wearing the smile i trained three years for.
within the walls of the 24-hour café, the midnight hours wore on, enveloping the space in a quiet solitude. though usually bustling with students during these late hours, tonight, only one soul sought refuge in the cozy haven. as i prepared the requested drink, my eyes darted toward the rain-soaked parking lot, where one car rested. perhaps it was his, and the torrential downpour had deterred others from venturing out into the storm, leaving him the only person who seeks for peace and quiet in this establishment.
"mingyu," i called, presenting the freshly prepared drink with a smile.
"that's me!" he replied, his cheerfulness evident. "i mean, i'm the only one here, so..." he trailed off with a hint of playfulness in his voice, adding another remark.
perplexed by his response, i tilted my head and handed him the beverage. as he handed me the payment, i expected him to return to his table like any other customer, but to my surprise, he stayed there, standing before the counter. an unspoken curiosity lingered between us as we met each other's gazes, the moment hanging suspended in time.
"do you need anything else?" i inquired, trying to understand the reason behind his lingering presence.
"do you mind if i sit here?" he asked, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "it gets quite lonely sitting all alone at that table, or well, in this entire café, considering i'm the only one here. plus, i wouldn't mind a bit of chitchat. by the way, are you the only one working at this hour?"
"shouldn't you be studying?" i pointed towards his table, where an assortment of papers and a laptop were strewn.
he chuckled, dismissing the notion, "nah, those are just for show. trying to look smart, you know." his laughter filled the space, lifting the quietude. "so, are you here all by yourself, working late into the night?"
"my co-workers decided to call it an early night, but i opted for overtime since i don't have classes tomorrow," i explained.
"ah, right, it's saturday," he noted, as if the weekend had granted him a moment of reprieve from the demands of academia.
without uttering a word, i watched as he claimed a stool by the counter and settled into it comfortably. with no tasks left to occupy my hands, i joined him, positioning myself across from him, maintaining a comfortable but not too close proximity. a serene stillness enveloped us, accentuated by the gentle patter of raindrops outside. the only audible sounds were the rhythmic melody of the rainfall and the occasional subtle noises he made, a testament to his enjoyment of the drink he held. in that shared silence, an unexpected tranquility filled the air, creating a quiet connection between us.
"so..." he began, a hint of curiosity in his voice, attempting to bridge the silence, "you're a student?"
"yeah, third year in bs mathematics. and you?" i replied, reciprocating the inquiry.
"i'm a graduating student, studying architecture," he responded, his tone carrying a sense of accomplishment.
"do you live here?" he queried once more, his interest piqued.
"for the past three years, yes. and you?" i inquired, eager to learn more about him.
"i actually grew up here," he answered, accompanied by a gentle smile. a realization sparked within me—how peculiar that our paths had never crossed until this moment.
"i wonder why i've never seen you before," i mused aloud, the mystery lingering in my thoughts.
he mirrored my sentiment, a playful glimmer in his eyes. "and how come i've never seen you before?" he countered, extending the question back to me.
as the conversation flowed, i didn't want to appear uninterested in his life, so i took the initiative this time, posing a question of my own. "what are your plans after graduating?" i inquired, curious about his aspirations.
his face brightened with a smile, but a hint of bittersweetness tinged his words. "i'll be leaving baguio," he replied, a dry chuckle escaping him. "there are more opportunities for me elsewhere, and i've come to realize that i need a fresh environment to grow."
his question returned to me, and i felt a sense of vulnerability as i was about to share something i hadn't expressed to anyone before. "i haven't told anyone this yet, but i want to stay here," i confessed. "i believe i've found a sense of stability in this place, you know? my dream is to open a café like this, even though it's entirely unrelated to my course." the revelation carried a mix of determination and uncertainty, but there was a glimmer of hope in my eyes as i shared my heartfelt ambition.
a soft smile played on his lips as he looked down at his half-empty drink. "that's nice," he said, his voice warm and genuine. "really, that's so nice. i love it when people are happy and sure with what they want," he continued, his words carrying a sense of admiration.
his heartfelt appreciation touched me, and a gentle gratitude welled up within. in that moment, i realized how our chance encounter, amidst the rain and solitude, had sparked an unexpected connection—a brief yet meaningful exchange of dreams and aspirations, and a shared appreciation for certainty in our paths.
"how are you planning to get home? the rain is still quite harsh," he asked, displaying concern for my well-being.
my gaze shifted towards the clock, and a jolt of surprise shot through me. it was 2:34 am. had we been engrossed in conversation for two hours? as his question echoed in my mind, i realized the challenge that lay ahead. how was i supposed to make my way home in this relentless downpour?
considering the circumstances, i contemplated the possibility of closing the café earlier than the designated 24-hour mark. after all, the weather had dissuaded any potential customers from venturing out into the storm. it seemed unlikely that anyone would brave these conditions to go here.
as my eyes fell upon the large glass before him, condensation forming from the melted ice, uncertainty lingered in my response. "i don't know," i confessed, my voice carrying a touch of vulnerability.
at that moment, he offered a gesture of kindness that caught me off guard. "i can take you home if you want," he suggested, his words resonating with a willingness to go the extra mile.
that night, he took the wheel and drove me home, the raindrops dancing against the car windows as we embarked on a journey that transcended the physical distance. little did i know that this act of kindness would mark the beginning of a beautiful connection.
in the days that followed, our midnights intertwined, weaving a tapestry of shared moments within the confines of the café where i worked.
time seemed to stand still as we forged memories in that small space, an oasis illuminated by the soft glow of dimmed lights. even on my days off, he made it his routine to visit the café or my apartment, seeking solace in our late-night rendezvous.
his presence became a cherished constant, a testament to the significance he placed on those stolen moments of respite. the fact that he chose to spend those precious hours with me carried a depth of meaning that words alone could not express.
amidst the flow of life, he became the anchor i had long sought—the elusive stability that had evaded me for so long. in the vastness of baguio, he emerged as my confidant and companion, my sole friend in this city of transient souls. together, we found solace in each other's company, weaving a cocoon of understanding and support.
through the laughter shared at the café and the whispered conversations during quiet nights, he became my refuge, and i, his. our bond transcended the mundane hours of midnight, blossoming into something profound and meaningful. in this bittersweet dance of fate, we discovered that sometimes, it is amidst the transient moments that the most enduring connections are forged.
as the day of his long-awaited graduation approached, mingyu extended an invitation for me to join him at his school, a bittersweet occasion that would mark both a milestone in his life and the end of our precious moments together. however, the timing couldn't have been more unfavorable, for my own finals still held me captive.
"i'm so sorry, gyu, but i don't think i can make it," i expressed, my voice tinged with a melancholic frown etched upon my face. searching his eyes for any trace of disappointment, i found instead a gentle smile, his understanding nature shining through.
"it's alright," he reassured me, his smile unwavering. "i know how daunting final exams can be. we'll just see each other after graduation." mingyu's ability to grasp the depth of my obligations and his unwavering acceptance spoke volumes of his character. in return for his kindness, i resolved to mirror his understanding, appreciating the unspoken bond that existed between us.
as the days marched forward, mingyu remained true to his promise and sought me out after his momentous graduation day. exhausted from hours of relentless studying, i found myself on the verge of sleep at the center table when a gentle knock echoed through my door, stirring me from the brink of slumber.
opening the door, i was met with the sight of mingyu, standing there with two duffel bags in both of his hands.
"came here to say goodbye." his nonchalant demeanor masked the momentous weight of his impending departure, as if he could shield me from the ache that would soon pervade my life.
"this sudden?" i managed to ask, a rush of alertness washing over me at the gravity of the situation.
"i have to. i need to find a place to stay there, and it's not easy to find something suitable," he replied, his words hinting at the hidden struggles he faced.
unable to find the right words, i simply gazed at him, a thousand unspoken emotions swirling within me. and then, before i could hold back, i enveloped him in a tight embrace. the realization of my only pillar of stability leaving me had yet to fully sink in, even though deep down, i had known that this day would come ever since that very first midnight we shared. he embraced me back, his arms mirroring the same profound emotions coursing through my being.
in the midst of our embrace, his whispered words pierced through the heavy silence, carrying a bittersweet melody that resonated deep within my heart. "i will miss you," he confessed tenderly, his voice laced with both longing and encouragement. "achieve your dreams in baguio, okay?"
the weight of his departure bore down upon me, rendering me speechless, my emotions swirling in a tempest of hurt and longing. i couldn't find the words to articulate the ache that clenched my chest, unable to express the depths of my own affection. and in that moment, as the weight of unspoken sentiments hung in the air, he uttered those three profound words that echoed through my soul.
"i love you."
time seemed to stand still as those heartfelt words lingered, their impact rippling through every fiber of my being. yet, my lips remained sealed, as if afraid to utter the fragile vulnerability that had blossomed within me. instead, i tightened my embrace, clinging to the precious fragments of our connection, silently vowing to carry his love with me, even as the physical distance between us grew.
in the wake of mingyu's departure, a profound realization washed over me: our time together had been fleeting, a mere flicker in the grand tapestry of life. yet, at least i could say that for once in my life, i had tasted the sweetness of having someone to call home. as i had pondered before, the notion of home is deeply personal, intricately woven into the unique experiences and connections we encounter along our journey.
perhaps home can be found in that unexpected place, where love and fondness intertwine with every breath we take. it could be a sanctuary that captures our hearts, even if its time in our lives is but a fleeting moment. or perhaps, home manifests in the form of an unexpected person who enters our world, bringing solace and understanding, but is never meant to stay.
8 months later..
as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, i find myself entrenched in the familiar embrace of the city i now call home. with each passing day, i work diligently, striving to gather more experience and wisdom in the café that witnessed the tender blossoming of my heart. my fourth year of college rolls on, and though the world around me evolves, i feel somewhat stagnant, yearning for something more. i lost contact with him a few weeks after he left. we eventually stopped messaging each other because we are both busy with our own lives. he's now a professional while i am still here waiting for a change.
amidst the shifting tides of time, my feelings endure, unyielding. as long as baguio city remains, it holds the solace of midnight and the memories of cherished moments with an old friend close to my heart.
in the midst of my reverie, the café's door chimed, breaking the silence and capturing my attention. i turned my gaze towards the entrance, and to my astonishment, a figure from the past stood before me. in that fleeting moment, a rush of memories, both tender and bittersweet, flooded my senses, as if time itself had slowed its relentless march.
our eyes met, and in that exchange, i witnessed a smile that emanated from his eyes, mirroring the curve of his lips. it was the same smile that once accompanied those three words that stirred both wonder and heartbreak within me for eight long months.
and in that instance, a glimmer of possibility sparked within me. perhaps, just perhaps...
"excuse me, could i have a large strawberry creme frappe, please?"
kim mingyu is meant to stay.
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