#I'm working on a few changes but I won't be writing about her anytime soon

[emilou-keen-gear]

Hi, I read your TSOF fanfic and I enjoyed and that twist of how the white swan and Aphrodite were the same person shocked me. It made me wonder of how the story would turn if they weren't the same person.

And I saw you had plans for Loopy, mind spoiling a lil about it?

I actually don't mind spoiling it a little, because while Loopy is going to be a character that I'll explore later, she's not going to be a big spoiler.

So, do you guys remember the scene in "The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee" where Launchpad gives Fenton dating advice. Here, let me refresh your memories (and sorry about the caption mistakes because they're from Youtube):

Well, it's a headcannon of mine that Launchpad has dated quite a few girls and had many adventures that weren't part of working with Scrooge and the Duck family. We saw that a bit when they all went to China to help Gladstone (deadly ninja??) and when he took Huey and Dewey to see Fethry (forbidden mermaid), and in TSoF, Launchpad had dated one of the nine muses (unbeknownst to him). Well, here is where I've connected Loopy to cannon DT17.

Meet Loopy (character design might change in the future), a genetically altered clone of Launchpad. I haven't perfected her backstory, but she was created in a very similar way as Webby and her clones were made by the same scientist, and much like Webby's clones, she had been aged forward until she was the same age as Launchpad when they met (pre-DT17). When Launchpad and Loopy met and dated, neither were aware of their...genetic relationship, but once they did, they decided to just be friends.

I'm still working on her personality and specifics, especially since I don't want her to be completely identical to Launchpad but still have a lot of things in common (nature vs nuture kind of thing). What I've come up so far is that she doesn't like flying planes, but she does like flying in general. Because of this, she learned some basic mechanic skills and joined up with a group of air privateers (basically pirates that people could hire to do things, mostly employed by the government).

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: month 22 “sight seeing”

“All ready?”

“Yeah, how many places are we visiting today?”

“I need to stop by THEMS for the support group meeting today, and pick up recording equipment. I need to write a report of mimic behavior/sensitivity analysis by the end of the week.”

“How much have you written so far?... You haven’t written anything have you?”

“...Busy.”

“HUN! You need to actually work to keep your job!... but if you wanted to spend the whole day together and you did that stuff later. I wouldn't say no.”

“Nice try Abi. But the recorder is coming with. I've used them since I could remember, it's practically a member of the family. Now you can wait in my room during the meeting… But if you wanted to…”

“I'll stay here, I'm not feeling up to meeting your new friends yet.”

“Boo. Don't worry I won't rush you. See you in a bit. There's snacks in the fridge, don't eat any of the picnic stuff. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“So how was it?”

“It was… alright. Sorry that makes it sound like it didn’t go well. It went perfectly fine!... Just a little sad Alexis still isn’t back. It’s been three weeks now. Apparently it’s just something she ate recently.”

“So food poisoning?”

“I honestly don’t know, it didn't seem like I was allowed to pry into it. I hope she’s fine, I was hoping you could meet her.”

“…But it went well otherwise, yeah?”

“Yeah! Everyone’s super nice! I just hope I come off the same way. I’m sure they know me as the nervous wreck who works for Erian at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised if they hate-

“HUN!”

“AH! W-what is it? Oh, right, thanks. I need to stop thinking like that, huh?”

“It’s ok hun. It’s hard to stop thinking like that. Talk to me about your meeting. Was it good otherwise, besides one of them getting food poisoning?”

“Oh, yeah! It was super nice! I feel like we ended up helping out with a lot of problems we all had today. I didn’t end up talking much, but working in my field has been great for helping out with any logistical problems someone might have like with continuing prescriptions or stuff like that. 

I did notice one thing though. I, uh, well, I wasn’t talking much because usually when I’m at a meeting I get terrified of everyone looking at me. Not in an anxiety sort of way… I think, but in a, I've been spotted and need to slink off and hide, sort of way. I think it’s a mimic thing, like I don’t like to be known, you know? But this time was different. I felt a lot more at ease, even when I was the center of attention. I think it had something to do with a few people having simultaneous big changes with their AHRT. It made me realize that maybe what I hate isn’t being seen, but having humans know what I am.”

“Oh… Do you feel that when I look at you?”

“No, I know I’m safe with you. It’s just an interesting thought, is all. It’s like maybe humans are the natural predators of mimics, since they have the pattern recognition to notice strange details and spot the mimic. It could potentially lead to the origins of mimics. Maybe we were just normal animals that got hunted to extinction.”

“Uh huh… Wouldn’t there be fossil records then? Or some other evidence… Look hun, I’m happy that you’re happy, but you’ve been kind of laser focused on this origin stuff lately.”

“Well it’s important. Erian barely understood what he was giving me, I’m the only one of my kind that I’m aware of. It’d be nice to find my roots. Not to mention, he can’t even put this new Mimic HRT on the market until he actually knows everything he put into it. There’s one ingredient he apparently just found and stuffed it in there to see what would happen.”

“Hun, the more you talk about him, the more I worry about your health and your job.”

“It’s fine, my health is perfect and I don’t think I’ll be fired anytime soon. Anyway, come on, it's picnic time.”

* * *

“It's been so long since I've been to the beach. Look! Hun! Sandpipers! Ooooooh they're so cute!”

“Abi, are you good to walk around like that? I get the sand isn't going to be hard on your injury, but you're still recovering. And you shouldn't go swimming!”

“I'll be fine if I'm walking a little bit, don't worry. Now come here! Sit with me.”

“Y'know they say Kaiju sized sea creatures live here. You think I should dive in and look?”

“Pfffft! Who's they? Wouldn't there be like no fish at all if there were things bigger than whales in there?”

“Hyper city is weird, I’d believe in anything strange, like Erian being a half decent person.”

“...Hey hun, do we need to go to all these different places?”

“Getting tired already Abi?”

“Yeah…”

“I'd like to. My behavioral study on mimics is important to others, but it’s more important to me. I need to know so much about mimics. Erian is already working on figuring out the biology side of things, but I need to know how I think. So that I can make sure I'm safe to be around.”

“...So what do you think about this place?”

“It's… It's lonely.”

“Well. We're the only people here right now.”

“Not what I meant. There's a, longing, hoping that something underwater is looking back. But it isn't. I can just tell. I know when I'm being seen, I want to be seen. I just don't want to be recognized. Beaches feel weird, like I'm standing on the side of a cliff needing to jump off. The sea is nice. It's an empty void where I can pretend to be a stray clump of seaweed waiting for some fish to swim by. The prey, all looking at me, no humans around to know what I am. Huh, not sure where that image came from. Maybe mimics are amphibious.”

“You mentioned this sort of stuff before. You just know when you're being looked at. Are you ok? You're not getting an anxiety attack or anything right?”

“I'll be fine. And if I'm not fine then I know you can help, but, let's talk about something else.”

“Ok… So do you have gills or something? Also do I have to worry about you running into the ocean never to be seen again?”

“haha, I can shift gills. And no, if I went feral, maybe, but I'm still partly a slime, I'd eventually dissolve if I stayed in too long. Though, I've been losing those parts more and more.”

“I kind of wanted to ask. Are you ok with that? You came here to become a slime. Do you still feel dysphoric as something else?”

“I'm… We can figure that out later. Let's just watch the waves for now.”

* * *

“Isn’t this near your job?”

“Correct, it’s a nice little place a block away. Also I just like the name. Roost café”

“I’m not big on cafés hun.”

“Trust me, you’ll see why we came here… What do you think?”

“Well the tree is cool, and the magic fairy lights are pretty. Oh they have those little cat walkways, but there’s no cats here. Well, It’s very, cottage core. Very… You.”

“Oh, so you don't feel the aura do you?”

“Aura?”

“Yeah! Do you seriously not feel it? Mabel, the witch who runs this place, set up an aura that’s supposed to pacify any familiars and it came with the side effect of calming down anyone else who enters this place. Isn’t that amazing? Just think about all the places that could benefit from this. Imagine if the clinic had this, or restaurants, or government buildings, then people wouldn’t be so worried, it could help out so many therians!”

“I don’t know hun, I think a lot of people would probably hate having that sort of thing everywhere. Wouldn’t people hate that sort of thing? Getting emotions suppressed because it’s supposed to be safer. If I got insulted for existing and couldn’t get angry about it, I’d probably just feel awful.”

“Oh. huh.”

“Sorry to wreck your dreams.”

“It’s fine. Here, you get some snacks, my treat. Just get me some chai. I’ll find us a table to sit at”

“Ok. mwa! Don’t feel bad about the idea, I’m sure you could do something really cool if you think on it. So don’t start feeling bad about yourself for thinking about helping people.”

“No kissing! Not until I know it’s safe!... 

…What the heck am I doing, of course there’d be problems like that with an aura like this. How would I even set up magic fields in specific locations, I doubt the owner here is going to willingly teach it. I’m putting my feelings over others again aren’t I. Ever since I was told about this place I can't stop thinking about how everything would have been fine if I had an aura like this then. Maybe Abi wouldn't be stuck in a wheelchair. 

It's only supposed to affect familiars right? Wonder why it affects others like this. I think I read somewhere that mimics used to be familiars to wizards. Maybe I'm Abi's familiar now…”

“What are you mumbling hun?”

“Oh! Nothing! Don't worry about it!”

“Ok? Want a bite hun? There’s so many cute pastries here!”

“I can't eat pastries anymore, only meat. I pretty much just stick to the tea here. It's good tea.”

“That's so sad. Enjoy your dirty leaf water. I got some apple pie. Jealous?”

“Not really.”

“Mmmm, so good! This place is really cute though, Apparently you can take any of the fruit growing on the tree there. It's a little cramped but you could call it cozy. When we get a cat do you think we could bring it here?”

“I think it needs to be a cat familiar. You could start practicing to become a witch. But this place is nice I guess. I usually come here after work, you should try some of the tea here hun, it pretty much cures any migraines I get.”

“I'll stick to pepsi.”

“Well glad you like the place. I think you'd like Mabel too.”

“Oh she seemed really nice when I was paying. So… did you just want tea or was this place part of your study.”

“...I just wanted to stop by for tea. We can head over to the next place soon. You'd like it. It's called the Heart Mender boutique!”

“I don't mind staying here longer with you hun. Let's just sit a bit longer.”

* * *

“Ok, the recorder is back on.”

“Hun what happened, you can't just start freaking out for no reason and run out of the store. And your first instinct is to start documenting it, that's not healthy.

“Look I'm sorry, I just wanted to go clothes shopping, but something felt really strange, I tried to ignore it for a while. I feel bad for making a scene but I had to leave.”

“Hun, you've been panicking a lot lately, and you just take out that recorder if anything ever goes wrong. Have you talked with your therapist about this?”

“I have. Look, I’ll be fine, but right now I need to record these thoughts. please just tell me what you thought of the boutique ok?”

“...Alright. Fine. Uh, It was really nice. The one at the counter, Samara I think, showed us around the place. There were a lot of different styles and shapes for all the clothes. Like even ones that therians could wear. I bet it felt really cool for you when you saw that jacket with the four sleeves. You don’t usually have four arms but it’s inclusive and I know you like that stuff. It’s cool. I even asked and apparently the owner makes them! She sounds cool. Plus it seems like they'd be able to help you pick out an outfit. You’ve never had a good sense of style.

“Thanks hun. I can count on you to always sneak in an insult about my past self. Well, It helped calm me down I guess. Hey, uh, not part of my point, but… I don’t really go to boutiques. Is pottery a thing they usually sell?”

“Not really? The accessories, like necklaces, are pretty normal, but I’ve never seen pottery being sold in one. They’re really cute though. I love the one you bought. You could grow some bamboo in it. And Thank you again for getting me this necklace by the way. It's so cute!”

“So you didn't notice anything else?”

“Hun… If something's the matter you have to tell me. It's just a nice place. I want to visit here again.”

“You remember how at the beach I mentioned I could always tell when I was being looked at?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I could feel something else watching us. I don't know what, but something was there. Looking through the eyes of everyone. No, that's not right. Like everyone everywhere was seeing me in one place.” 

“Ok, maybe we should focus on breathing. Just calm down for a moment. Even if you're right about, whatever you're trying to say. It's still none of our business. Everyone in the shop are nice, and I don't see anything bad about the store online. Is it really that big of a problem for your new senses?”

“It's not. I'm sure whatever secrets the Heart Mender boutique has, it's their business. I just. I wish I wasn't the only mimic. I could tell whatever connection there was, it was something my instincts wanted. It wouldn't stop screaming at me that I should be the same way with my own kind. I was jealous. Whatever I felt in there, I wish I had it… Abigail, don't get near me. I could bite!”

“You won't. I just know, and you could use a hug. I wanna go back inside, they had a lot of cool stuff. I'll hold your hand while we're there, and I'll help you pick out some cool clothes.”

“...I feel so weird, in a, how can I be this dumb, sort of way. Let's hope I haven't scared anyone.”

“There's no other mimics, so you could just say it's a mimic thing and no one would know.”

“Jeez hun, hahaha, I can't just go around lying like that.”

“Hey, technically, it was a mimic thing. And turn off your recorder this time. No recording equipment remember.”

* * *

“So, the next location is an interesting one. And I think you'll probably want to wait in the car for now. And before you say anything, listen. I actually mean that this place is apparently really bad to stay in. Thayer Library is something of a ghost story. Where they say people feel the presence of something watching them”

“So, you want to see if you can feel their presence then?”

“Yep! Also it's a spooky haunted library, how could we not go here for a date! Oh! There it is, come on! Oh this is going to be great. It’s close to sunset too! Alright, let’s get going hun, I’ll go get the wheelchair.”

“Actually, could I stay inside?”

“Is everything alright? Are you feeling haunted.”

“... I think if I step inside I’ll die.”

“Oh. oh, you’re serious. Alright, I’ll be quick. Stay safe then, I’ll be right back…

…Huh, is. Is this it? It’s barely a tingle. It’s certainly empty. I don’t even see a receptionist. Is it open? I guess I’ll just do a quick read and leave. Suppose I can spend time documenting behavior. Something is definitely watching. But it’s not thousands like last time, just a few. Something big, but strangely calming. I feel completely relaxed here, like I don’t have any problems. Who’s watching? And why does it not bother me? It’s not human, so then it’s some other force, is it a guard, a curious visitor? Well I’m in a library, I guess I should read…

…I wonder if this place has any books on mimics. The books here feel like they could disintegrate with a touch, but there’s not a speck of dust on them. Maybe I could actually find some information on us. Huh, this might be my first real chance at a lead. This could be perfect! I could… Why is Abi calling? Wait… It’s already been an hour!? How?! When!? Ugh, I’ll have to come back here later. I get the sense I’m not wanted here. Maybe Abigail is right, this place could be dangerous.

There’s one more location to go to. I’d rather not head there in a bad mood. I think I’ll check out a book. Mimics surround us? Yeah I wish. Ominous title, and what are the chances I pull this book out at random… I should go.”

* * *

“Mayday, is the place closed?”

“Yeah, it's closed, apparently some sort of crime happened a while ago and they’re closed to the public. I can only imagine what anti-therian story is being spun right now. I just hope they don’t try to contact Erian’s clinic about this. They treat me like a child who needs to hand the phone over to a dad.”

“God, I hate this place, why did we even have to come here?”

“The zoo is important to visit, even if it's the culmination of everything awful in this city. I know people who live here. I hope they're ok… Do you think I'd end up living here in a tiny glass cage if I did go all the way with mimic HRT?”

“I don't want to think about that hun. Let's just go already.”

“...Sometimes when I go to the support group, someone doesn't show up, and I can always tell what everyone's thinking. The first thought is always that they went full feral, that they're stuck here, that we've been forgotten again. I always make sure to visit here every month. Just in case. It's never actually happened. Except the once. It makes me think what would happen if a colony of mimics showed up in Hyper city. Would we be accepted? Or would we be all cornered into this zoo for the sake of a fake safety that only exists in people's heads. What I would give to see this place turned to rubble.”

“Do you need another hug hun?”

“I'll be fine.”

“You could use another hug.”

“I guess I could yeah. It’s hard to stay sad when you’re around.”

“So did you figure some stuff out today?”

“Oh absolutely not, Erian is going to be pissed when he finds out I have nothing. But it was fun. And I got to spend some time with you, which is always a plus. Let’s do this again next time, and maybe I won’t be so buried in my own head. We can go to a spa or something. Some good old sight seeing.”

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Start - Prev - Next

Hey y'all, This one took us quite a while to write out, two weeks to write out, including a nearly completed scrapped script. Anyway, this chapter is very special to us because it uses a lot of fun locations that others have created. Hyper city is an amazing setting that has given us so much to work with and has become the perfect place to write about. We wanted to showcase some of our favorite places and if any of them interest you, you should go read where they came from.

Kaiju beach: @noreo-oreo

The roost café: @ashedink

The Heart mender boutique: @home-sweet-hive

Thayer library: @dawning-mars

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Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop, @nyxthewary, @lunadook

[untilnextchapter]

Monthly Fanfictions Recommandation: September'23

Here are my best discoveries from the last weeks

🍬 The Authors

@kquil : a gentle author, writing about the Marauders, her writing will bring you peace and the writings are so soft. I love seeing her theme on my computer and seeing her icon on my dash is always a sign that I will read something good.

@luveline : you don't know if you want to read an Aaron Hotchner story or a good Marauder one? You don't need to change to another page, here is the wonderful Jade. She's so talented and you won't be disappointed if you want to check her work.

@thatfanficstuff : when I discovered this blog, I didn't know where I should go first. So many fandoms I love, so many characters, so many stories... So many comfort shows and so, comforting times after work. And sometimes, it's all I need. A gentle person writing some sweet stories.

@luci-in-trenchcoats : I read a few stories a few months ago but, I recently re-discovered this amazing author. With her works, I was back into Supernatural. So many hours spent at reading about our favourite hunters, so many series. And the best of the best: the writing skills are so great and it's so easy to read... Waow, just waow.

@imagineteamfreewill : Fluffy Supernatural fics and a lot of good AUs, all I need after a hard day at work. Meg is an excellent writer and you will spend a good time, I promise. I haven't read everything yet but, I know I have a few a good escapes in perspective. Don't hesitate , you will enjoy your time reading, I hope as much as I'm doing.

@anika-ann : I'm in my Marvel phase, I'm weak, I know. And, I think I found someone that could quench my thirst with so many good stories and good writing skills. I could spend hours reading about Steve Rogers. And I know I've found an unique writer because I loved a crossover story. I usually hate that. But here I am, reading a Criminal Minds / Avengers story and loving it. Thank you for that.

@crazyunsexycool : Another "Val", it can only be someone nice, right? But really, a sweetheart, someone with so much imagination, and a way to write about children... And I know what I'm talking about, I'm working in a nursery. It's so great to read something accurate when it's a subject you know. And except for the children, she's always here to answer your questions, being nice and taking time for her followers. I hadn't asked to be add into a taglist for a story for a long time. You won't be disappointed if you want to make a stop here.

🍭 The Stories

* = Smut (Minors DNI) || 🦋 = Series || Beware of the TW please

Not so secret admirer || @kquil (Remus Lupin x Reader, you can't hide your adoration for remus lupin and often end up staring at him, good thing he thinks you're really cute)

A star between hands 🦋 || @luveline (James Potter x Reader, finding out you’re princess isn’t half as intimidating as your new bodyguard, James. mutual pining, fluff)

if things go bad || @/luveline (Aaron Hotchner x Reader, Hotch rushes to get to you when you call him during a home invasion. angst, hurt/comfort)

True Mate 🦋 || @thatfanficstuff (Peter Hale x Reader)

Remember me || @/thatfanficstuff (Thranduil x Reader)

I Know Your Brother || @luci-in-trenchcoats (Sam Winchester x Reader, The reader is pulled out of Hell accidentally by Sam Winchester who’s wondering where his brother is…)

A Safe Mistake 🦋 || @/luci-in-trenchcoats (Nanny!Dean x Single Parent!reader, Dean’s in need of some extra cash to help Sam pay for his tuition and gets a job working as a nanny for the reader’s young son. As Dean becomes ingrained in the reader’s life though, he soon becomes more than just the nanny to them both…)

Beauty and the Beast 🦋 || @imagineteamfreewill (Dean Winchester x Reader AU, Living in a village is nice, and even though you’d always longed for adventure, you weren’t expecting to go on an adventure of your own anytime soon. But as soon as you take your father’s place as the prisoner of a Beast who lives in an enchanted castle, you’re surprised that adventure isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—and neither are monsters)

Daisy || @/imagineteamfreewill (Sam Winchester x Deaf!Daughter!Reader, Sam breaks some bad news to his daughter, who’s deaf, and watches her start to grow up without her mother)

Love on the Brain 🦋 || @anika-ann (Steve Rogers x Reader / Crossover MCU-Criminal Minds, You found menacing pictures of you friend, colleague and neighbour Steve in your mailbox.   Someone might play it off as a bad joke, but you were an agent for the Avengers Initiative and a former FBI agent. You’ve seen cases like this and you were taking no chances. Not with Steve of all people. But you were going to need help; enter the BAU)

Hands Too Cold, but Heart of Gold 🦋 || @/anika-ann (Steve Rogers x Reader, Matt Murdock x Reader, You officially joined the Avengers only two months ago and you’re about to take off to yet another mission. Cap would like to have some extra help on this one – but the Avengers have approached the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen before and he made it pretty clear how he felt about it. Of course, this time it’s you who got stuck with trying to convince him once again. “I still don’t understand why it’s not you coming, oh Star Spangled Man with a Plan.” “I do have a plan. I have you.”)

Heart’s Munition 🦋 || @crazyunsexycool (Mob boss!Steve Rogers x Maid!Reader. I can't copy and paste all the resume but I swear, you'll love it. A bit of surprise but it's worth the world)

My little love * 🦋 || @/crazyunsexycool (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader. Really long resume but in short, Bucky, Reader, children, Papa and Mama bears, great scenario, you'll love it I promise!)

That's all, for now.

Don't hesitate to share the stories you liked and tell the writers you enjoy their works, it always means a lot to them ❤️

Have a good reading,

Val 🌸

[lovecolibri]

Longtime 911 fandom lurker here. I love your takes and agree with, like, 99% of them but especially the ones regarding the issues since You Know Who took over as showrunner. Sorry for the loooong message incoming but my head has been spinning over something and am curious what you think!

I'll admit that I lost most of my hope that we'd ever see canon Buddie because of things that You Know Who said in interviews, as well as how Buck and Eddie were so distant in 6A. Well, recent episodes, a few BTS snippets and some interviews have me somewhat hopeful again. And let me tell you, Andrew Meyers, who I always perceived as an original Buddie supporter, writing the finale?? For the first time all season, I now think that *something* could happen.

I've seen many caution that we shouldn't expect to see anything happen with Buddie anytime soon, mainly because there has been no real build-up to "explain" the changing feelings but also because other characters have potentially big stories brewing. And I get that, I do. But then I think about how Bobby and Athena quite literally came out of nowhere and zoomed to marriage rather quickly (and this is not dissing them, I l-o-v-e them, but it's how it happened). Similarly, Maddie and Chim's relationship went through the ringer, but we've missed so much of it (for example, break-up off-screen and then they were back together very quickly without us seeing any counseling etc.) Then, of course, Hen and Karen went SIX seasons without proper backstory.

What I'm trying to say is that 9-1-1 has never really been consistent as far as showing deep, sold relationship development. This isn't to say that they can't write good relationships; they definitely can! And in the case of Buddie, you can view things through the years as metaphors and foreshadowing and hints and so forth. But, I think that certain people expect the show to spoonfeed the audience about Buddie, or do some in depth sexuality exploration storyline, and I'm kind of doubtful. To counter the, "Well, they HAVE to explain to the GA how these STRAIGHT men are no longer STRAIGHT!" I could see them waving it away with a, "The actors have such great chemistry, and just like in real life, sometimes you fall in love with a person you don't expect to." And while I adore many things about the show, when they have to juggle schedules, we know that some (*cough*Buck*cough*) end up getting more airtime then others. I do kind of worry that many fans will be disappointed and complain about getting canon Buddie if it unfolds quickly, even though that's really par for the course.

Of course, I could be totally wrong in thinking that anything is going to happen, hahaha, but what are YOUR thoughts? Is it possible that they kind of roll out Buddie in a...not casual but not super obvious big way that many seem to expect? Knowing that the actors' contracts expire after next season and that the show won't go on forever, I could honestly kind of see them just going with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you are a longtime lurker I hope you are aware that I'm truly terrible and answering asks! 😬😬😬 It's the executive dysfunction! 🙃 I'm sorry it took so long to get to this. It WILL happen again.

Thanks for coming here and sending this long ask and sharing your thoughts! I think Madney is one of the best buildups they've done on the show and I didn't think it moved TOO fast because right when they started is when Doug came back in the later part of s2 and they took a step back at that point. Of course I've had issues with their story since JLH left on maternity leave and they decided to cut Chim out of the show rather than show things from his POV and being loved and supported by the firefam and he and Buck working things out because they were brothers before Maddie ever came around. Plus, after Boston it has felt like 90% of their stuff happens off screen and I hate that! I want to see the deep and hard conversations! But KR struggles (by her own admission) with arc planning, and coming up with plots, and episode pacing and it REALLY shows in the difference with how Madney used to be to how they are handled now. Yes they have less time with JLH but that just means every second you have her should COUNT and yet instead of having her there for important things like being the one on the call when Chim gets abducted to hit those emotional beats she's just...not.

As for Budde, honestly, I could live with a 3rd party confession this season though I'm a little leery of that for several reasons.

The season break gives them time to backtrack when all the homophobes inevitably come crawling out of the woodwork

I am holding out hope that over the season break the show will choose to bring someone new on or Tim will come back because I don't trust KR to tell their story (or anyone's stories honestly) and i want to see things happen on screen. I have my issues with Tim too, but he always had a really good ebb and flow to the episodes and arcs and things didn't drag out but also weren't started and wrapped up in a single episode never to come up or affect anything ever again. (Honestly I think that issue on LS is more about the show having to cater to RL and working everything around what they have to do for Owen)

A lot of the fun of seeing these relationships on TV is the build up! The pining! And I think Buck and Eddie and their love story deserve that, plus it could easily involve lots of fun stuff from the firefam! We could get one of them letting it slip in front of Chim and him struggling with the secret, and the other telling Hen and them ending up as the spiderman pointing meme when they figure out what the other knows. We could get confirmation of the betting pool the 118 has on Buddie, we could get Ravi being SOOO confused because he thought they had been together before and were separated. Like, there is so much FUN they could have with it along with all the Buddie scenes themselves and I think they deserve the time to explore all that.

As for a sexuality awakening/crises storyline I don't think we will really get one, even though it would be nice to see and easily something that they could work in since we know Eddie is in therapy. I personally could live with it just coming up in a conversation between Eddie and Buck or even someone in the firefam. I would LOVE a scene with Eddie and Hen about it actually but I would also accept Bobby in a father/son talk or even Ramon if they want to show him putting in the work to support his son when it's not as easy as offering parenting advice about Chris. If they wanted to do it more lighthearted I could also see it being a scene with Chim and that kicking off the "Chim has a secret to keep and it's killing him but he's gonna do his best to keep it" thing. If we were actually SUPER lucky we could get the 3rd party confession being with Maddie and Eddie, but the time to do that would have been 6x11 but the show couldn't be bothered because they were too busy wedging the Buckley parents into everything and cutting Eddie out of the episode as much as possible 🙃

I think every relationship OG has had has been a little differently told because each of the couples and stories are different and I like that! Bobby and Athena are adults who know what they want and go after it because they both know time can run out when you least expect it. Bobby especially saying she made him feel like he was finally on solid ground was not just adorable but a great peek into how solid their relationship was from the jump. Maddie was skittish and needed time to be by herself and figure herself out but she also needed to see what it was like to have a best friend and fall in love with them because Doug was NEVER her friend. And honestly after seeing Chim and Tatiana, he needed to spend time just being friends with her too and I love how their story unfolded. Hen and Karen start out already married with a kid so we got to see them navigating current struggles together which has been great, but I love that we got a flashback and got to see the start of their relationship even though it wasn't necessarily NEEDED, it was WANTED and one episode was able to show us so much. So I think Buddie also deserve to have something that fits their relationship and as much as I would LOVE a big dramatic scene, I think after some pining and build up with the firefam getting to have some fun shenanigans, that they will fall into this like they do everything together-easy as breathing.

[suggahsweet]

A little bit in love with Glee!

and just life in general right now, honestly, but specifically Glee. I write this as a reminder for my future self who will probably make the same mistakes again and forget to be grounded, and forget that change is good and transitions take time but eventually you're going to find the sunshine of it all, because the first night of this season of Glee I was like, oh nooo. B wasn't able to come and there were SO many new faces and SO few of the OG members and we were in a new practising space that takes me a good 40 minutes to get to, and everyone's personality seemed SO big and I was worried that signing up this year was a big ole mistake. Specifically I had a conversation with Niall (whom I knew from the season where I was pregnant, what a trip that was bahaha) and Chandler, where Chandler immediately cussed me out and told me he hated me. And I knew it was a joke! I did! But the people pleaser in me was like no, please, you're supposed to love me and I will not rest until you do! Hahaha. And B said, don't worry, everyone was nervous, and everyone will settle down, and things won't feel so aggressive, and of course, she was completely, 100% right. A few weeks ago I really felt like we hit the part of the season where we all started gelling as a team, and everyone knows each other's personalities better, and everyone (I hope) feels accepted just as they are, plus I've always preferred learning the choreo and dances to the singing anyway, and when it all starts to come together that's the very best part. I come home every Thursday completely wired. And there are little things I love about everyone, like:

Alana's sense of humour. She is constantly cracking me up just by being her, and I was hit by a sense of extreme nostalgia this week realizing that we've been performing together now for over eight years. Amazing! She was talking about Glee Season 10 and I was like excellent, so this isn't going to end anytime soon, God willing!

Louis's smile and kindness

how some people open their mouth and their voices just come out, effortlessly. Looking at you, Vee!

how quick Chandler's brain works. I truly can't keep up with him when we talk...and he's no longer telling me he hates me so that's great 😂

Faith's unwavering commitment to perfect choreography and harmony memorization. I panic texted her the other day and she was immediately at the ready to be like calm down this is how we're supposed to sing it.

Mara has the absolute chillest vibes and I am here for it. Literally the first day of Glee she was like I don't even know whether I'm a soprano or alto, and yet I never hear her singing off-key or messing us up. We love to see it! (And hear it.)

Maurice. He's so sweet and brought a hat just for EJ. So thoughtful!

I hated that Nick left halfway through the season BUT Seb is one of my favourite singers and we go way back so the fact that he just showed up out of nowhere to razzle dazzle us is just the best

getting to know Billy who straight up feels like he could be part of my high school gang. He comes off as the self-deprecating funny guy so it's been a fun surprise to find out that, much like the character he plays in Freak Flag, he is indeed an onion. :)

and of course, carpooling with B, while probably not good for my overall bedtime on Thursday nights due to the fact that I am still high on social interaction until almost 11pm rather than coming down during my drive, gives me LIFE. We love a debrief, and debrief we do!

I can't believe the show is in two weeks. Already praying for a babysitter and some sort of setup to work next year so I can come back!

[crmsnmth-journal]

3/16/2024 10:57 PM

I started my day by changing my eyesight to high definition. In other words, I cleaned my glasses after weeks of being too lazy to simply spray some glass cleaner and wipe them off. I don't know why I put that simple task off for so long. It's actively hurting me when my glasses are dirty, and I work in a greasy and smokey kitchen every day. My glasses get trashed fast. I'm always so happy when I finally do it, because everything suddenly is so clear. It's one of those extremely simple weird tasks I just put off for far too long.

A lady named Brenda died a few days ago. We weren't friends. In fact, we despised each other. There is no love lost, but I read her obituary. And maybe there may be no reason for me to feel grief, but reading this short little excerpt of her life that somebody cared enough to write about her, kind of humanizes her. We worked together at this high end meditation retreat run by a bunch of nuns. Yes, I worked for nuns. We worked togethor in the kitchen (of course, where else would I work) and I'm still not sure what happened. Brenda and I got into it, in full view of at least five other people. I don't even remember what we argued about, but it got heated. Enough so, that Brenda happened to forget the large chef's knife in her hand that she put in my face. Now this all took place after my time in hell (Milwaukee) and it wasn't long after the darkest period of my life. So that meant if someone put a knife in my face, my instinct is to get the knife out of my face. I was still in fight for survival and getting stabbed sucks. It's like being punched harder then you've ever been punched before. It's not something you want to do twice. So I grabbed her wrist and took the knife away and set it down on a table. Everyone in the kitchen saw this. I moved away from her and started working on whatever my original task was. And it seemed like everything got dropped. It did not. Soon, I was pulled into another room, and told by a nun that Brenda said I attacked her. Even with the other five people all telling the truth on what had happened, the nun decided Brenda was in the right and I was to be laid off without pay for two weeks. And before I knew it, my mouth spoke. And I told a nun to, and I quote "Go fuck youself, you righteous bitch." And that's the story of how I secured my place in hell. Ever since then anytime Brenda and I ran into each other, it's all middle fingers and "fuck you's." But she had a life I didn't know. And I always forget that, even about the people that I truly hate, that they have their own little worlds and their own little population of people. And those people don't see the bad things in a person. They don't see the petty problems, or the tiny infractions. I think that's something we need to really try to remember, if we're going to make it as a race. Compassion, I mean. I despised Brenda, and she had a husband, and children and friends and family who are now greiving, in the same way I've been since January. Maybe that's why I'm seeing it this way. I'm relating to the grieving. Not Brenda, cause Brenda, in my eyes, sucked.

I should go to bed, but I won't. I ended up having a somewhat creative day today and have fifteen lines and phrases to work with for a while. And I've got an idea I'm going to try and get figured out. Probably the best day I've had for coming up with stuff in a long time.

[loverhymeswith]

Say You Want Me and I'm Yours

Pairing: Rick Flag x F!Reader

Summary: A prequel to Nothing Will Ever be the Same

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, language, p in v sex

A/N: Thank you so much @a-reader-and-a-writer for the prompt, and for beta reading 💖

Rick follows you into the staff locker room but you pretend not to notice. He’s barely exchanged two words with you since your argument onboard the helo and judging by the steely scowl you just caught a glimpse of in the mirror, that isn’t likely to change anytime soon.

This suits you just fine. You’re too tired and sore to engage with him right now anyway, and besides, you've said all you needed to. The mission was a success; who cares if you went a little off-script to get the result?

Certainly not Amanda Waller. You could practically hear her glee over the comms when Rick had informed her the asset had been retrieved. That was all thanks to you – a fact that Rick had deliberately failed to mention.

While you might consider yourself the hero of the hour, Rick hadn't seen it quite the same way. Stupid and rash, he'd called you. A liability.

None of this is new. In fact, lately most of your missions have ended in a similar fashion: the two of you embroiled in a blazing row while the rest of the squad watches on in bemusement. Rick accuses you of being sloppy and undisciplined; you tell him he's a control freak and too tightly wound, that perhaps he needs to get laid.

The sparse facilities of Belle Reve along with the life-or-death nature of the job leave little room for modesty and you can hear Rick moving behind you – the sound of his tact vest and t-shirt hitting the floor. As tempting as it might be to poke the colonel-shaped bear further now that you find yourselves in the privacy of the locker room, you truly don't have the energy. Instead, you strip out of your own filthy vest and shirt and start to examine the extent of your injuries.

It could have been much worse. There’s a dark bruise forming around your left bicep where Boomer had pulled you out of the way of a grenade, and an array of scratches and scrapes across your forearms and knuckles, but nothing to write home about. The only thing bothering you is your ankle. You suspect you must have landed badly jumping off the roof of the compound, though it's probably just a sprain.

Continuing to ignore Rick’s presence, you sink onto one of the benches and start to unlace your boots, until eventually you sense the weight of his gaze settling between your shoulder blades.

"You should get that checked out."

You twist around and spare him a cursory glance. A rapid assessment reveals no new injuries to his thick, muscular body. All differences aside, you're relieved he seems to be in one piece. Not that you let it show. “So you’re speaking to me again?”

Your words appear to find their mark as usual, the large vein on the side of Rick’s neck bulging as he works his jaw and grunts. "Who says I wasn't speakin' to you?"

You shrug, kicking off your boots and gingerly rolling up your pant leg to assess the damage. Sure enough, the skin around your ankle is swollen and inflamed. Hopefully nothing that aspirin and a few days rest won't fix.

When you don't respond, Rick places himself in front of you.

"What?" You snap at his feet, hoping he isn't planning for round two. A faint headache is beginning to bloom at your temple and you want nothing more than to go home and collapse into bed.

"Why have you always gotta be so goddamn confrontational?" You can hear the exasperation in his voice and when you tilt your head to meet his eye, his lips are turned down into a customary frown.

"Why do you always have to be such a jerk?"

Rick folds his arms across the expanse of his bare chest. A thin sheen of sweat is glistening on his tanned skin. He'll be heading for the showers any moment now. You know his routine like the back of your hand. Straight-laced, predictable Rick Flag.

"That is exactly what I'm talkin' about." He sighs audibly, nostrils flaring. "Straight in there with the childish insults. Why can't we ever talk things out like grown adults?"

"Because you don't listen."

"Like hell I don't." Rick shifts his weight from one foot to the other, drawing his lips into a thin line. It's his default expression; you can't remember the last time you saw him smile. "You're the one never listenin'. You're the one ignorin' orders and tryin' to get yourself killed."

Your rise from the bench, planting yourself squarely before him. A pulse of anger flares through your chest. "Don't act like you give a fuck about me, Flag. All you care about is bossing the squad around. You'd rather fail the mission than let anyone else take the lead."

"You got no idea what you're talkin' about," he growls, hazel eyes flashing with a fury to match your own.

"Don't I?" You take a step closer until you're standing toe to toe. With barely any space between you, Rick’s scar-flecked chest is directly in your line of vision, rising and falling with each heavy breath. You’ve never noticed the latticework of thin silver lines marring his skin before. That one man could walk away from battle so many times is nothing short of a miracle.

But you don't tell him this. Instead, you fold your arms to match his stance and continue. “Why didn't you let me take the credit with Waller today? You know we never would have succeeded if Boomer and I hadn't gone up on that roof."

A muscle in Rick’s jaw ticks. "Is that what you really think? That I give a damn about who gets the credit?"

You shrug half-heartedly. It certainly seems that way lately. Constantly down-playing your achievements and speaking over you in briefings with Waller, it’s like Rick wants you to fail. "Prove me wrong."

"Prove you wrong?" He's barely a hair's breadth away from you now. So close that when he huffs out the last remaining whisper of his anger, his warm breath flutters across your cheek.

"I'm tryin' to protect you," he mutters quietly, as if he's suddenly worried about being overheard. "If Waller learns the truth… if she learns just how fuckin' fearless and capable you are, she'll take you away from me."

"I'm not a possession." You bristle at the implication, fingernails digging painfully into the flesh of your arms so he can’t see just how much his words are affecting you. "You can't keep me all to yourself."

"I don't want to own you," he grumbles, unjustly annoyed that you can't seem to decipher the inner workings of his mind. "I'm tryin' to keep you free from Waller. She'll set you up with your own squad. I won't be -"

"I don't need you around to save me all the time, Flag." You cut him off before he can do further damage to your already precarious relationship. "Didn't I make that clear today?"

"Fuck. Darlin', that's not what I'm tryin' to say."

In Rick's honey-coated southern drawl, the pet name causes you to falter. He's never called you by anything other than your last name before. He seems to notice his mistake too, because he's scrubbing a hand over his jaw, gaze focused anywhere but you.

"Darlin'?" You repeat with the arch of a brow. You'd intended for it to sound condescending, but even you can't deny the surprise in your tone. "That's a new one."

"You just…" Rick stumbles over his words like he’s been knocked off course by an invisible force. "I can't think straight when I'm around you."

If you were on top of your game, you'd have snapped back with a cutting remark, teasing him for showing even a hint of weakness, but something about the sincerity of his words leaves no room for mockery. "What?"

Rick's eyes shutter, dark lashes kissing golden skin, and suddenly you’ve lost all direction too – can barely remember why you were so pissed at him in the first place.

Recovering from some internal conflict, Rick pins you with a heated gaze. "You heard me."

When your back hits metal you realise he's stepped even closer, his large body looming over you as a pair of tattooed arms reach out to keep you caged against the lockers. You read the hunger in his eyes a split second before he leans in.

His lips have barely brushed your own when your hands fly to his glistening chest, pushing against the solid wall of muscle. He staggers back instantly, wide-eyed and panic-stricken, like he can't believe what he's done.

That makes two of you.

"What the hell was that for?" you demand, heartbeat racing furiously while your brain fights to catch up.

"I…I'm…" You can sense him stumbling again, grasping blindly for any kind of excuse he can offer you, anything that might justify trying to kiss you.

Ultimately though, it doesn’t matter; he's too slow to respond. Because in that moment, he's breathtaking. So beautifully flustered and unlike the Rick you thought you knew that you have no choice but to grab his dogtags and drag his mouth back down to meet your own.

Your action awakens something in Rick, or at the very least it chases away his doubts, because he seals his soft pink lips to yours and he's really kissing you now.

It’s angry and it's messy and your teeth clack together as you tug him closer, fingers rising to thread through the lengths of his golden hair. His battle-worn hands have dropped to your waist, burning against your bare skin as he squeezes you tightly, pulling you flush against the hard planes of his body.

If you were still of sound mind it might have occurred to you to question whether this was wise: a colonel and his lieutenant overstepping every boundary in the book. But all sensible thoughts are driven from your head when Rick wedges one of his legs between your own. The insistent pressure of his muscled thigh against your centre forces all the heat in your body to rush south, stirring some long dormant desire you'd thought had been buried by the battlefields and bloodshed.

As your fingernails rake over the sweat-slick skin of his impossibly wide shoulders, Rick grabs your ass and drags you roughly along the length of his thigh. The friction against your core is so delicious that you find yourself whimpering into his mouth.

His tight hold on you falters and he pauses, seemingly startled by the sound.

"What are you waiting for?" you hiss, pulling back to find wariness written in the fine lines of his brow.

What you really mean is don't stop now.

Rick’s eyes have turned almost-black with lust, but there's an edge to his rasping voice that forces you to listen. Even now he commands your begrudging attention. "I don't want you havin' any regrets."

Your fingers head south, tracing the path of silver scars along the ridge of his abdomen, causing him to tense beneath your touch. "No mistakes, no regrets," you murmur, echoing the wisdom he'd shared before your first mission together two years earlier – wisdom that has served you well up to now.

Rick huffs out a laugh, a sound so foreign that it's hard to believe he is the source. "Beautiful sentiment, darlin'." But it seems to satisfy him, because he's closing the distance again, his lips finding your jaw.

Trapped between the press of Rick’s warm body and the cool metal lockers against your spine, your nerves are set alight. All the anger you were carrying around has faded now, giving way to pure, unfiltered desire.

His large hand replaces his thigh, swiftly parting your legs and cupping your covered core. "Been dreamin' about this," he admits roughly, dragging his fingers along your aching centre. "Dreamin' about all the ways I could stop that pretty mind of yours from racin' for a while. All the ways I could make you feel good."

Your head falls back, clanging against the metal, and all sense of reason abandons you. "Make me feel good, Rick."

Your breathless command unleashes him. He has you out of your sports bra and pants in a matter of seconds, that military efficiency apparent even in moments like this. “Should’a known,” he growls, as he palms a large hand over your breast. “Everythin' about you is so fuckin’ perfect.”

As you stand utterly naked before him, Rick's calloused thumb brushes over your peaked nipple, sending another pulse of heat straight between your legs. The white-hot need for him to touch you is almost unbearable, but instinct tells you that he's going to make you wait.

"Even better than I imagined." He continues in earnest, lowering his head and sealing his lips around your delicate pebbled flesh.

You barely recognise the sounds leaving your mouth as he worships your breasts with his wicked tongue; licking and sucking and teeth grazing until you start to come undone. He's expertly breaking you into pieces, leaving behind nothing but a flustered, needy mess.

When he pauses his ministrations to capture you in another claiming kiss, you seize the opportunity to reach for his belt. Your attention is centred on his arousal, which is visibly straining against the rough material of his tact pants. "Take them off,” you whine against his mouth, fingers frantically fumbling at his buckle.

Rick withdraws from your lips and steps back, flashing you an uncharacteristic smirk that has your thighs clenching tightly. "Still as impatient as ever."

Any quick-fire retort you might have planned dies on your lips as he complies with your wishes. His thick, capable fingers swiftly unfasten the silver belt buckle and you're left to stare unashamedly as his pants and boots join your own in a heap on the floor.

You can't believe it's taken so long for you to notice: Rick Flag is a study in perfection. You shouldn't be surprised to find that every part of his body is as long and thick and beautiful as the rest, as if he'd been carved by the gods themselves. You drink in the sight of him like you've been dying of thirst since the day you first met, your mouth watering when you try to imagine how good he'll feel buried inside you.

Because that's where this is going to end. The fuse has been lit and there's no choice now but to let the sparks fly.

Standing on tiptoes, you loop your arms around his neck and pull yourself closer, until you can feel his scorching length pressed against your stomach. He's bigger than you could have possibly imagined.

As his hands rise to cup your jaw, Rick’s dark gaze meets yours and tension crackles in the air. "Kiss me," he rumbles.

For the first time since you met him, your colonel doesn't have to tell you twice. You kiss him deeply and thoroughly, running your nails through the short hair at the back of his neck and revelling in the soft groans you're able to elicit from him. This new side of Rick steals your breath; his harsh lines and stern frown melt away beneath your touch, causing you to question everything you thought you knew.

It should scare you. It should fill you with doubt – how you've already crossed so many lines in such a small amount of time. But your brain has been short-circuited. The only thing you know with any certainty is how good it feels to be right here in the moment, wrapped up in Rick’s all-encompassing embrace.

But if Rick thinks he's solely in control here, he's very much mistaken. Catching his bottom lip between your teeth, you tug playfully. It earns you a deep growl, the sound vibrating through your chest as dampness continues to pool between your thighs.

"Touch me, Rick."

Rick proves himself just as capable of following orders as he is at dishing them out. His hand slides between your two bodies and when he finally reaches your centre, deft fingers glide along your wetness. The intensity of the pleasure catches you by surprise and you cry out desperately, legs buckling as you clutch at his shoulders.

He repeats the action, over and over, gathering up your slick until suddenly he pushes a finger inside you and lets out a string of filthy curses that makes your head spin. "Oh fuck, darlin'. Think this pussy's gonna destroy me."

If he carries on like this, he might just destroy you first.

In true Rick-fashion, he's diligent and methodical in his actions, carefully working you open until you can take two of his fingers, then three. He curls them up inside you, hitting that sweet, sweet spot over and over again, until the sounds of your desperate pants and moans rapidly fill the locker room.

Rick brushes his lips over your jaw. His breath is hot and his words are laced with a molten desire that surely matches your own. "If I knew it was this easy to get you to quit bitchin' at me, I wouldn't have waited so long."

Prickling at such a comment despite your building pleasure, you drop your hand and wrap your fingers around his shaft, squeezing tightly. Rick curses again, and when you run your thumb along his weeping tip he bucks his hips into your hand, shuddering beneath your touch.

"I think I like you better like this too," you smirk against his lips.

Deciding you're ready, that he's prepared you just enough, Rick spins you around roughly, pushing your chest into the lockers. Your nipples pebble against the cool metal and a surprised yelp bursts from your lips.

Rick doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy squeezing your waist with a bruising grip whilst his other hand forces your legs apart. Despite the forceful nature of his actions, he pauses for a moment to press a wet kiss between your shoulder blades. "Say you want me, darlin'," he rasps against your skin. "Say you want me and I'm yours."

Your palms hit the lockers, readying yourself for what's to come. "I want you."

Rick guides his cock between your folds once, twice, three times before he breaches you, filling you with a single stroke. The pressure is almost overwhelming but you take everything he gives you. In that respect, he has you well trained.

"Perfect," he grunts, buried to the hilt inside your pussy. "How could you not be?"

You bite down on your lip as he drags his hips back slowly before slamming into you again. The lockers rattle from the force.

"Don't go easy on me, Flag," you tease breathlessly, feeling your walls flutter around his throbbing length. "I'm a big girl. I can take it."

"I know you can, darlin'. You're gonna take it so fuckin' well."

The hand not gripping your waist traces the curve of your spine, rising higher until his fingers wrap around the delicate column of your throat. He applies just the whisper of pressure as his hips snap into you again, but it's enough to have you crying out for more.

In credit to Rick, he doesn't hold back. As he plunges into you at a relentless pace, you’re reduced to strangled sobs and moans, your fragile relationship with him breaking and reforming with every drag of his cock through your soaked channel.

You're not too far gone to understand that this might simply be an outlet for Rick's anger. A way to disperse whatever fear he felt towards your reckless behaviour on the mission. You are, however, too far gone to worry about that for now. You tuck the thought away, saving it for examination much later, focusing instead on the way he stretches and fills you so exquisitely.

"You're doin' so well, baby." Usually, Rick’s compliments are tinged with condescension, but not today. With each stroke of his cock he offers soothing praise that causes your cunt to convulse around him. "You look so fuckin' good like this."

You've always believed it a weakness to show emotion on the battlefield, but any thoughts about saving face in front of Rick are swiftly dissolved as he chases after your relief and his own. You cry out loudly when he tightens his grip on your throat, his other hand reaching down to strum your clit.

"Need you to come for me now, darlin'. I know you can do it. You're so good. So perfect."

He continues to coax you towards your climax, never faltering with his rhythm or his praise. Just like the countless missions he's led you on over the years, he's singularly focused on the outcome. You should have guessed he would make an attentive lover.

"Never gonna get over how fuckin' amazin' this pussy feels, baby. You've ruined me."

The band inside you suddenly snaps and your hands fly from the locker, fingernails digging into the flesh of his forearms as you ride the wave of your release. "Oh god, Rick."

As his name leaves your lips, his hips stutter violently and you feel him spill inside you, coating your walls with his spend. As he falls forward, his head tips against the curve of your neck and he presses another open-mouthed kiss to your skin.

"Darlin'..."

All at once, it's a promise and a plea. A prayer and a curse. There's so much to unpack in that one little word. But maybe it doesn't matter. At least not right now.

Maybe, like the kerosene and cloth of Harley’s beloved Molotov cocktails, you and Rick were always destined to ignite.

Joel Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @sociiallydiisoriiented @yespolkadotkitty @weallhaveadestiny @bewitchedignition @lavenderluna10 @lacontroller1991 @ed-baldwin @phoenixhalliwell @immyownlittlebitch @mayhem24-7forever @s-u-t @littlefreakingfangirl @katjnordstrom96 @kirsteng42 @heresathreebee @christinasyellowflowers @xoxabs88xox @fairchildflag

[stevesbbg]

Hey! Hi.. can I ask for a Riff story please? There not enough him on this app😂

So... I was thinking about a Riff story with a shy reader, where he flirts with her constantly to make blush. He tries to take her to the dance but she refuses because.. yeah too shy.. and then Riff suggest a bet (?)

a/n: hi there anon! sorry this req took a while to write - life has gotten super crazy but i'm hopefully gonna be getting to write more! ty for the request <33

dancing with the stars - riff x f!reader

"Listen babydoll," The slim brunette leaned over the table to meet Y/N's eyes, "I'll make sure you have the greatest night of your life! No strings attached."

With a sigh and warmth spreading across her face, Y/N shook her head, "Please Riff, I have to work and I don't have a dress or anything anyway. Why don't you ask that blonde girl. Whats her name again?"

"Graziella?"

"Yeah, I heard her talkin' about how she wants you to take her."

"She ain't you girlie girl. Just trust me and let me take you dancing."

She ain't you. Y/N blushed even more. She had been nursing a crush on Riff ever since he started the Jets with his friend Tony. She always liked how he was so determined to get what he wanted and his loyalty to the group. Not to mention his looks that could kill. His dusty hair, the way when he smiled his tongue swiped across his teeth..

"You still with us, Y/N?" Riff chuckled, "You were starin' pretty intently. I mean, I know I'm pretty good looking but-"

"Can you please leave me alone." Now embarrassed, Y/N covered her face.

Riff, with a lopsided grin, whispered in her ear. "Only if you come to the dance, sugar."

"I just don't wanna ruin anything. I know you and the other boys really like those dances but I'm just nervous."

"You'll come out of your shell, don't worry. Plus you'll be with me! You have nothing to worry about. So, whatd'ya say?" He gave her puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

"No, Riff." She shook her head.

"Fine, if you come with me I promise I'll never ask again and leave you alone."

She thought about it. She didn't really want him to leave her, she enjoyed his company to be honest. He was just really good at flustering her.

"Fine," She let out, "I'll go just this once."

Riff let out a 'yes' and kissed her on the cheek, "You won't regret it, I promise! I'll pick you up at 6!"

What did she get herself into...

Riff, true to his word, picked her up at 6 with a dress he had bought with the money he saved up. Y/N protested, saying she could've gotten one herself, but Riff insisted.

The gym was packed with a mix of many kids. Some looked happy to be there, but others were on the wall with their arms crossed. Y/N couldn't blame them.

Riff brought her over to talk to a few of the Jets, and like he said, she was slowly getting out of her shell. She got to know a few of the boys a bit better than went to get some punch.

"Enjoying it so far?" Riff stood over her.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be," Y/N said while taking a sip, "It's a bit loud though."

Riff took the drink out of her hand and led her to the dance floor. He noticed the girls face change, "Don't worry, okay? Just follow my lead."

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Absolutely not, but that's what makes it fun, right?" He wrapped his hand around her waist and started to sway. They stayed like that until after the song was done which gained a few whispers and eyes.

The party was finally finished at 12, which meant everyone had to go home and sleep the night off.

"Do you wanna spend the night at my place?" Riff tugged Y/N closer as they walked, "Your house is a bit further away."

"Are you asking to have a sleepover?" Y/N laughed softly. The night absorbing the noise.

"Maybe I just don't want you to go yet," He looked her in the eyes.

Y/N smiled, "I don't think you have to worry about that anytime soon."

And with that, they walked to Riffs box car and danced one more time, with the stars that shone almost as bright as their love for each other.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

A lot of people are theorizing that Gojo might die in the manga or lose his eyes, and honestly, I thought so as well!

However, Gege had made it very clear in the manga that without Gojo, the world wouldn't be able to keep up with the rising strength and number of cursed spirits. Currently, there's only 2 jujutsu schools in Japan and not even 30 students. There's only 4 special grade sorcerers, now 3 without Geto, Yuki has her own agenda, and without Gojo, that just leaves Yuta to take on special grade curses.

The students are strong themselves, but they weren't even able to defeat Jogo or the octopus guy, let alone Mahito (who has since evolved) and Hanami (Gege implied in an interview that he would reveal Hanami's domain expansion later, which made fans go "wait, he's not dead?" Although, Gege might have chosen to forget about it this, but we shall see). Gojo himself was nearly defeated by Toji in his teen years due to Toji's intellect. Therefore, the students are going to have an incredibly tough time defeating the "brain" that has the intellect of a being who has survived for hundreds of years (over 150 years at least, since that's when Kamo Noritoshi had helped create the Cursed Wombs).

Even if they do find a way to defeat it themselves, they'd need help (let's also remember Choso almost killed Yuji, and Naoya almost beat Choso. The struggle is very real, especially since cursed spirits aren't the only enemy but politics are working against them, as well). The Gojo clan itself is only a one man team of just Gojo, and in the Shibuya arc Gege cemented the fact pretty clearly that if anything ever happened to Gojo, the world would pretty much be lead into an apocalyptic state or become overrun with curses- and that's exactly what's happening within the manga now. Because of Gojo's birth, cursed spirits were forced to become stronger, and the new age of curses won't even be able to be classified as only "Special Grade." Even right now, without Gojo, the Jujutsu sorcerers are struggling to keep curses at bay even in one city, let alone the whole country.

Even without the world's current trip to destruction, there's the matter of Yaga's execution. Who else, other than Gojo, is going to be able to stop this? Gojo is the only one who was able to convince the higher ups to at least stall executions. His students are still just that- students. In order to stop the higher ups' corrupt politics, Gojo, with his knowledge of jujutsu society and his silver tongue, is the one who has to intervene. Although it's possible, I wouldn't think that the students themselves would end up replacing the higher ups- if strength was all that mattered, Gojo would have taken over Jujutsu Society a long time ago. However, politics are not that simple, and I doubt Utahime, Shoko, or anyone else associated with Gojo is going to replace them anytime soon- not with Yaga on the chopping block as a supposed "traitor" for his affiliation with Gojo.

If the story is going to end with reformation of Jujutsu Society, an adult will have to take over the higher ups' places (unfortunately, Nanami, the adult of adults, cannot do so). Therefore, Gojo will have to lead, just as he dreamt of, with his "army" of strong students, his followers. Jujutsu Society needs someone with the intellect and persuasiveness Gojo has in order for change to occur- Gojo was able to convince the higher ups for many things, after all. He has the charisma to lead future Jujutsu sorcerers and teach them well. This is the role he has worked for all these years, after all. It would only make sense for Gojo to take over. Having Gojo die and the students kill the higher ups would be counterintuitive- Gojo could've done that years ago.

Gege also said that the one to tell Megumi about Toji has to be Gojo in an interview, so Gojo is definitely getting out of the box eventually to have that talk with him. However, I don't think Gege is going to kill him off afterwards- just Gojo being sealed is already putting the world into danger. The world needs Gojo's ability in order to get rid of all the curses quickly. If Sukuna ends up killing Gojo for whatever reason, I don't think having a Yuji/Sukuna combination will help the world because there will definitely be a power struggle between them (even if Yuji can withstand 15 finger Sukuna, 20 finger Sukuna is a whole other level, that's the complete manifestation of the King of Curses from a thousand years ago in a 15 year old's body! Even if Yuji is a special grade cursed womb, power doesn't win battles. He'll need willpower, trust, and wit. He's only just decided to kill Mahito, he's got a lot more to learn. There's also the matter of the 1 minute pact between them and what Sukuna will do to Fushiguro). Without Gojo, Yuta might end up having to kill Yuji/Sukuna in order to stop Sukuna from killing people (Yuta's ability to copy techniques will likely help), but losing Gojo AND Yuji will be very harsh on the world's state, leaving only Yuta to defend it and whatever crippled version of Megumi will appear after Sukuna's done with him (and the story. Yuji's development will go to waste if he's just killed by Yuta and then we'll have to see how Yuta plans to continue Gojo's dream of changing Jujutsu Society. Will Yuta become a teacher to create strong sorcerers like Gojo did? Will the world even still exist by that time? Killing the King of Curses won't change the world like Gojo dreamt. In fact, the story might just repeat itself with Yuta becoming a teacher instead). Still, if anyone had to kill Yuji, it should be Gojo, but if Gojo is to be the one that ends up killing Yuji to kill Sukuna, no one else will be capable of killing Gojo. Therefore, Gojo likely won't die.

Either way, I feel like it would be strange to kill off both Yuji and Gojo.

Gege also said that the "brain" can't control Gojo either, because it would be impossible for the brain to kill him. If the brain wanted Gojo's body after Sukuna possibly killed Gojo, I doubt it would be able to control him anyways because Sukuna would have sliced him to pieces. Gege also said there wouldn't be any point in the brain controlling Gojo's body, so Gojo dying for the brain's purposes wouldn't happen, as Gege said himself.

Therefore, I just don't see any good outcome from Gojo's death besides angst or even character development? What other reason is there for Gojo to die? Yuji already lost Nanami and thought Nobara died, giving him the character development needed for him to choose to kill Mahito. The world will also probably crumble if Gojo doesn't appear out of the box soon. Just him being sealed was enough for the Hunger Games: Jujutsu Sorcerer Edition to come out, so Gojo permanently disappearing (i.e. dying) pretty much means the world's gonna end 🤷 After all, if the spirits were gonna start a revolution, they could've done it ages ago, but they didn't because of Gojo. Gojo's very presence, even as a child, is what kept them in line all these years. Just one look at his eyes, even though he was only a child, had that old woman and old man looking cursed spirits sweating. Once Gojo appears again, many spirits will go back into hiding, even if not all. Therefore, his very presence would be a great help in restoring order in the world again. That makes Gojo coming back more useful than his death.

As for losing his eyes, it's possible but again, other than angst I don't see a reason for it. Gege also said that having Gojo be the Strongest is to show how strong Yuji's going to be in the future, so handicapping Gojo would be counterproductive.

Therefore, I doubt Gojo's going to die or lose his eyes in the story. There's just no reason for it, unless Gege intends to keep the world in an apocalyptic state at the end, kill off everyone except maybe one person, and have a new cast of sorcerers appear. Otherwise, Gojo's the only one who can reverse the world back to its original state, or close to it, at least within a few days, weeks, or months rather than years with his ability to exorcise spirits on a grand scale. Gojo might end up losing a few screws in his head, but other than that, I'm sure he'll be (physically) fine. I would imagine that Gege would want to loop back to Gojo's dream of changing society. In that case, who other than Gojo could lead? His students are still children. They're not as versed in dealing with the higher ups as he is. If the moral of the story is that such a thing is impossible, what bigger angst is there than to have Gojo live on as the Strongest as everyone he loves dies?

Of course, there was this one interview where Gege said his plan for the ending of Jujutsu Kaisen was that (of the 1st years and Gojo) to keep everyone alive except one person, or everyone dies except one person. In the former, it would easily have to be Yuji who ends up dying while everyone else lives since he's the one who's supposed to be executed from the very beginning. In the latter, as I said, Gojo being the only one left alive while everyone dies could happen just to show the burden and loneliness that comes with being the Strongest- just to show the difference in universes him and the others are living in (however, I will say that this outcome would be unlikely because Gojo's world will only reset to the day Geto had betrayed him. He would start from scratch, raising a new group of students, and then the story would repeat itself in a training montage. In a writing perspective, this ending would only occur if the author forgoes everything just to make you cry, that's it. It would work, but it would ruin the complexities of the story to reset everything by killing everyone for a new set of characters. Reminds me of the Walking Dead by TellTale games. Too many deaths and too many new people with only one of the original cast left. Pretty bad writing, that was).

Either way, if Gege is being serious in what he said about the ending of JJK and having all die except one or vice versa, Gojo is likely to survive either outcome.

However, if it does happen that Gojo dies while his students live, there's the matter of keeping Sukuna at bay and previous reasons stated above.

The only way I could see Gojo dying is if Yuji ends up surpassing Gojo enough so that he's no longer needed to keep balance in the world. Or, as Gege had described in why he killed Nanami (his favorite character, might I add), if Gojo no longer has any use in the story. In that case, Gojo would die, or it'd be alright for him to die because Yuji would take his place. Still, it's doubtful Gojo would become a character that's no longer needed when the world is hardly able to function without him.

If we're talking about Gojo's usefulness in the story being what determines whether he lives or dies, I'd say even if Yuji surpasses Gojo, Gojo would still remain useful- in politics, at least. Let's remember that without Gojo, the beginning of change in Jujutsu Society would not have happened. Yuta would've been executed, as would Yuji, Megumi would be in the Zenin clan, Maki would've never been recommended for 1st grade without Gojo paying off Mei Mei, Nanami might've not come back (Nanami said he hates the way the higher ups do things, but he trusts and has faith in Gojo even if he doesn't respect him). There are so many things that Gojo has done throughout the story, and if Gojo hadn't done one thing- if he let Yuta die, for example, or kept Megumi in the Zenin clan, the story would've been drastically different.

In other words, even if Gojo's physical abilites are somehow gone, Gojo's mouth still has plenty of uses. If the guy can talk his way out of his students' execution, he can likely talk his way out of his own, or at least Yaga's. Gojo's got a lot more uses than just exorcising curses, after all. As long as Gojo has use in the story, I'd think it's safe to say he'll survive. Hell, Gege might even keep him around just to hate on him some more. Though, the reality is that Gojo basically wrote Jujutsu Kaisen with how his actions created the ripple effect into what we have now- another parallel between the author and Gojo, since it's been said that Gojo has a lot of similarities to Gege (Could Gojo be Gege's self insert? 😳 Even their names are similar!)

Also, Gojo had planned ahead enough for Yuta to become a double agent and trick the higher ups into thinking he'd killed Yuji. It's likely he has more up his sleeve than that and is sitting in the prison realm waiting for other traps he had set to go off.

Here's the Q&A translation where Gege said the brain can't kill Gojo:

https://twitter.com/_zanzou_/status/1379431624262094868?s=19

Other Q&As I've read are from Shiro, JJK Fanbook, and Ducky on Twitter and JujutsuFact on Insta, etc

- 🤔 (Sorry if this one seems a bit rushed or hard to read! I'd have to reread the Shibuya arc to explain more in depth but the pain is just 😭 I'm going off of my thoughts while I was reading this awhile ago cause I got told Gojo might die in that arc and I remember thinking all these things to myself to convince myself he won't die and wanted to share!)

WOW JUST WOW now I've learned more from this post than all of my classes combined. I never knew about some of those things. That's very interesting 🤔 anon! Mann just reading this I'm literally trying to picture how the manga will go...and yes gojo ain't dying no if someone says he is imma slap them with this post. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN OH GREAT 🤔 ANON. We really appreciate all the research you do and I absolutely love reading them!! ❤❤❤ I LOVE YOU

[zeawesomebirdie]

Hey! I took so much time to answer I’m on holidays now :’) feels so weird to have that much free time in may… If you’ve had the appointment by now, I hope it brought good news (or, I suppose, as good as possible in this situation) and if it hasn’t happened yet, I hope it’ll go well. I wish I could help you with that, but at least I’m glad our correspondence is bringing you joy :)

Honestly, there might be a lot of them, but I don’t really do anything with my OCs, they just float in my head lol. Sometimes I draw them or I talk about them, a few have Pinterest boards for how they'd dress or toyhouse pages (I wanted to create TH pages for everyone but I don't have art of most of them so it's not happening anytime soon unfortunately) and one or two are used in other stuff like Cécilia who I used to play in a DnD campaign and is now an NPC in another campaign, but mostly they're just there for me to have silly little fantasies about. Meredith and Cécilia are for general stuff, a lot of projecting, thinking about QPRs and fun flatmate stuff; Alex, Laë and Adrien are for cute romance stuff, sometimes more spicy stuff if I'm in the mood, or soulmate AUs; Ophelia has problems with her parents and adventures with Oswald; Aster is all the dramatic stuff but also boring work things that he gets to be all 'drinking wine in your cool chair at 1am' about; Alex also gets a lot of family bonding and shenanigans since I gave him a big family (it keeps extending... I gave him one more sibling and a few cousins since last time and I'll probably keep adding to it...) The only one I really actually use is Cécilia, because while I don't play her anymore my friend started another campaign in the universe of the one where I played her in, so I’ve given them my opinion of what she would say when they’ve asked. Mostly I create them for the sake of creation, because inventing a little guy and doing whatever you want with them is like playing with dolls or petshops but you decide what they look like hehe.

The 'drawback' with making all of my OCs for daydreaming purposes is I tend to gravitate towards characters in a very - set? period? Like, you know how fandoms tend to have specific moments at which they prefer to write characters, before or after they change a lot, when they're still alive, when they're still talking to another character? Not all fics use this 'ideal state' of characters of course but like, you'll see a lot of Obikin set during the Clone Wars but Ahsoka's still there, or a lot of Johnlock before Sherlock fakes his death in S2, that kind of thing? It's like the characters have a default state? Well mine are all kind of like that, and there's not a lot of story around it. They almost all live in the same world at the same time, so at best they'll have a past where they became who they are now, but they're all a bit stuck. Meredith grew past a lot of her insecurities, Cécilia has a goal of becoming powerful and cool but it's for a very distant future, Laë Alex and Adrien are dating and they're young but they probably won't break up, Alex's sister's kid is going to be a toddler forever, etc. They're all relatively nice and doing okay, because I personally don't daydream about people being mean and suffering, but that makes them a little flat sometimes haha. A bit like we’re seeing them at a set point in the story, but never going forward, only seeing them at the beginning/middle/end of their story but not the rest. Which is why characters for a story sounds so interesting to me! If you put them in a story you need to know where they start and where they end and how they change in the middle, there's a few moments where they're at their 'ideal state' and then they keep going, and that's so cool! Though that must mean you’d be creating them very differently, less ‘what are their vibes’ and more ‘what’s their fatal flaw’

Right right right, the amatonormativity is there and I think it would be a little funny to throw poor Reil in all of that. The conflict between “Jedi don’t form attachments” so being aro is ‘useful’ because that does eliminate a type of attachments, but also still being surrounded by people who date and swoon over crushes and have romances (because personally I’m firmly team ‘attachment is when it’s too extreme, Jedi are allowed to have fun as long as it doesn’t interfere with their duties’ so I imagine romances are a thing, whether they end quickly or they manage to last.) And yesss making characters a bit like you is so so cool!! Tbh I can't believe I first thought about giving Meredith a boyfriend because she's the most self-insert of my OCs! Though even back then I knew that would just be wrong so I didn't and then I realised some stuff about myself haha. I also thought I wasn't aro because I'd like some kind of life partner and romance is fun, which wasn't helpful lol. But yeah I’ve seen the sentiment of ‘I thought being aro/ace was hating/being completely oblivious to all that stuff and I was okay with it/got it fine so that meant I couldn’t be aro/ace’ and 1) mood 2) good example of why it’s so important to talk about those definitions because, I’m so glad to see those identities talked about more.

The OC post hadn’t been written but I think you’ve seen it by now haha. I don’t post anything besides +/- finished art on my artblog, so for anything OC related it’s on my main in the ‘wow i have an ocs tag now’ tag!

The vampire OC is Meredith, she's my little self-insert <3 Technically you could argue that since both her and Cécilia are really similar to me and they're not-dating-but-also-not-not-dating it's a bit weird but hey who cares. She's 52 and a potioneer/alchemist, she has a cat called Theo, a lot of friends, long hair and skin problems, she's aroace and she owns her own shop. Since she's a vampire and she has sensitive skin most of the time the only parts of her body not covered by clothing are like, her hands/fingers and her face more or less, she wears a lot of long sleeves turtlenecks and tights/trousers. That's not actually how I wanted to dress when I was younger, I said that because she also wears relatively poofy skirts and cool gloves and ballgowns and boots and jewellery and mostly dresses in black and red and dark colours, which IS closer to what I wanted to dress like (and still do tbh. How lucky she is to have an actual adult job that gives her money to pay for cool clothing and accessories...) Most of my OCs dress in styles I love actually, whether it's the guys who are literally just a guy and dress like that (the graphic tee/hoodie + cargo pants, a singular pair of sneakers and one vest that's too light for the winter, you know the type? Literally just a guy. Love that vibe I’m obsessed with it for some reason) or the elaborate dresses or the hair colours I can't really do because I don't want to bleach mine, or the clothes sharing or the jewellery or the gay poet/pirate shirts, they're all dressing super cool and I wish that was me 😔 Sometimes I'll imagine what my OCs or my favourite characters would wear in my wardrobe and it's very fun, I keep meaning to draw that and then I never do lol

Yeah I mostly act like cringe is dead because I don't really have interactions with people who still believe in it, but I do have a few anti mutuals (though coming out as liking Snarry got one of them to unfollow me so...? That's something? Don't know if it's positive or not but it happened) I don't actually know if you're mutuals with Alex @/storm-of-feathers since I saw you reblog from them but if you are, then you too have the pleasure of having anti mutuals :D Don’t know if you’d already noticed that or not, sorry if that’s how you’re learning about it? tbh after I answered your ask about Tomarry I expected the inquisition once again but apparently either those mutuals weren't online or I was right to tag the post because nothing happened. It does get kind of taxing to avoid talking about specific things or refrain from reblogging posts I like in case the few people who wouldn't approve see it. But at the same time I really don't like change so I'm not really doing anything about it since both of them aren't bothering me about it like 99% of the time.

Yeaah the Knights are just no fun :( I’m glad fandom is there to make something with the fun material the canon writers are just leaving there unexploited, but I also wish canon was just good on its own. Though I guess that does change things in terms of the fandom… I finished watching Gravity Falls a while back and it’s a very good show, so I was a little afraid of going in the fandom, as opposed to things like Star Wars where I knew that if I got into it I wouldn’t even hesitate throwing myself in the fandom. I don’t really know how to explain that, but (and I say that without any negativity towards people who like different stuff than me, they’re doing their thing I’m doing mine y’know) when canon is good and works on its own, it’s different to apply the same ‘fandom lenses’ to it. I read things casual fans wouldn’t even think about, but when it’s for like, HP or SW, it’s whatever, because canon doesn’t really feel like it’s going to explore the stuff it sets down anyway. Whereas with things like GF, canon IS exploring what it sets down, it has a clear message it’s communicating well, and coming in with for example some completely out of left field ship feels different. Anyway :’) I guess I could start getting into stuff that’s good to avoid the problem of canon sucking, but then I’m not getting as much weird fandom stuff, and that’s full of pearls and really interesting stuff I love, so heh

You don’t sound like you’re putting down your writing! I do get what you’re describing, not on a writing level but on a general language level, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one haha. I learnt french and english through osmosis but my grammar is really bad and as you said, I know what would sound right and what wouldn’t, but not why. I don’t really feel like working on it personally though, so props to you for that, I gotta admire the dedication to actually improving yourself through work haha. I’m sure the exercises’ll pay off and you writing will be even better! (also 15 years is a lot, that kinda hit me but whoa you’ve been writing for a whiile) (and I realise I didn’t say a lot about this, I don’t quite know how to put that in writing but you can imagine the equivalent of listening and making little noises to let you know I’m following)

The GwtW essay might or might not come, I got a 18.5/20 on the ‘exam’ I read the book for (only counted as 8% of that class’ final grade but still) and the teacher told me I should try developping my thoughts and writing the full essay I didn’t have enough time to do. I’ll have to see how motivated I get, I’ll tell you if it ends up happening! Though I was a little turned off by the vibes Rhett and Scarlett give off at the end, I love me a nice little fucked up relationship but their vibes were just hitting too close to home (derogatory). I’m also considering a thing about my absolute forever favourite fic, Pacify by chickenpets, because it’s just. It’s just good. Except it’s the one that got people to send me panicked asks about my morality so yeah :’)) (it’s like. Snarry with some underage, an interesting dynamic and BDSM, but also super well written and it hit 700k recently and every time I think about it I want to go read it again)

Also also how’s the Tomarry going hehe? Recommending you all those fics got me to reread some I hadn’t touched in a while and *dreamy sigh* Don’t think I’ll be going back to canon anytime soon though, because by that point I know it well enough to tell you all the little details even if I haven’t read it since I was like 13 :’)) Your comment about Dumbledore made me think about the morality of putting the magical baby of her sister on the doorstep of Petunia Dursley though. Personally I see him not as a good or a bad person but as someone who by the point of the wars with Voldemort just did what had to be done. He didn’t explicitly want to give Harry a shitty childhood to make him more malleable like you’ll see in certain fics, it’s just that Harry had to be protected and the blood magic was already there. Also he probably expected Petunia to have grown up a little since her childhood when she was super jealous of her sister, and tbh why wouldn’t he? Yeah giving Harry to people you know nothing about is a bad decision, but sometimes you believe in the good in people (in most cases) and – well there are times when turning a blind eye to a situation is helpful, and when you feel responsible for the wizarding world… Like he’s not really a good person, but he wasn’t doing it to be evil? He just had flaws and a past and responsabilities. But also yes Harry Potter is fucked up if you analyse it from an adult’s POV because it’s a children’s book and obviously in the children’s book it’s not fun if Harry isn’t put in situations no good guardian would make possible :’)) God Harry Potter will never leave me. Like I’ll be able to give you a little speech on Severus on autopilot at 82 in retirement home :’)) just, forever etched into my brain whether I want it or not.

ANYWAY sorry Harry Potter was my thing for so long it’s ridiculously easy to get me to monologue about it for hours. Hope you’re doing well and having fun, sending you love <3 (and if you’re not, then I’m sending you even more)

Hello hello! I hope your holidays are going well! It must be wonderful having so much free time after classes! My appointment went well, though there's still no official reason for why I can't hear as well anymore lol. Supposedly it's actually a processing disorder? But I have to be evaluated for that now, so I have to wait until I can have that evaluation before I'll know anything more substantial.

Listen, I absolutely love every aspect of these asks. It's so much fun to get to really dig into things! And your insights and thoughts are always so well put, it's genuinely a pleasure every time you're in my ask box!

Wow okay the thought you've put into your OCs! You're right, I do create my OCs from a standpoint of "how do I get this character from point A to point B," so it's so fascinating that you've got this consistent point of reference for yours. Like, with my OCs, especially the ones I make for the purpose of filling out my cast (or in the case of my original novel thing, for the purpose of being the cast), I need to think of them as these works in progress, because that's what they are, they're constantly being affected by the actions of the other characters and their surroundings and the workings of the universe I'm writing in. I can remember always struggling with certain aspects of one-shots because how does one demonstrate the way a character changes in only one scene? And then when I switched to writing longfics (and ultimately novels, now), suddenly my writing clicked.

And, your OCs all sound incredible! It must be so wonderful to have this consistent cast of characters for all your needs and purposes. If you ever do manage to make the toyhouse pages for everyone I'd love to see it! You really have a way of emphasizing who a character is at that point in time, it's absolutely amazing how you do that!

I'm also firmly on team "Jedi can have some fun but not the extreme attachments that Anakin had going on." But yeah, I also want a life partner and I agree romance is incredibly fun to do! That stuff all requires a really good conversation up front with whomever you're gonna be doing it with though (and here I am, giving life advice like I'm not only 23 lmao but) if you've got the right person (or people) it can be a wonderful arrangement. I've been with my partner for a year and a half and with my boyfriend for just about nine months, and genuinely having a relationship with people who are similarly on the aroace spectrum has been so much fun.

I was going to explain how my relationships worked and then realized that's a little weird of me, even for tumblr, so I deleted it and um you're getting this instead lol. But yeah! Qprs and "romantic" relationships where all parties understand that the romance isn't something y'all are able to feel are really fun! Highly recommend!

I saw the OC post! Your OCs are so cool, just saying, like my dude, that's so so cool!

Omg please draw your OCs or characters in general wearing outfits you have or outfits you want!!! This is just a random thing, but I swear Luke Skywalker would look incredible in one of those 1950's shirtdresses. And the just a guy aesthetic, that's how I dress rn lol! Granted, once I get top surgery I'm going to finally buy the 1950's style dresses I've always wanted to wear but didn't pass enough to, but the just a guy vibe is incredibly fun to do!

Yeah so when I went from being a Zelda blog to an obikin blog in 2021, a bunch of my anti mutuals unfollowed me (which, good for them for having the maturity to unfollow instead of me needing to block them), and those that didn't ended up getting into obikin along with me. I did notice Alex was an anti, I'm not mutuals with them though I was following them for a while. I'm not anymore, one too many vagueposts about anti rhetoric got me to unfollow them, but yeah. I'm pretty open about what problematic stuff I ship (at least, in the Star Wars fandom), so if people follow me after seeing my bio that's kinda on them, and if they start shit I just block them. I'm still unlearning the whole being hesitant to share what ships I'm currently into from the hellscape that is the main Zelda fandom (and from my 2016 experiences with anti-reylos), but I've started to get better about it finally. It really helps to have like-minded mutuals tbh.

Oh, so what you're saying with Gravity Falls reminds me of this one thing I read somewhere a while ago! Basically, you can tell how good a canon media is by how much you (/general you) want to read/write fic for it. If its good but has lots of room for improvement, you're more inclined to look for fic, but if its really good and you can't see anywhere it could be better, you won't want to look for fic because it's all right there in canon! Obv ymmv, ofc, as with all things, but I've found this to be true for a lot of my own fandom experiences. Ofc there aren't any medias I can think of for myself off the top of my head, but when I do write fic or search for fic it's because I didn't like some aspect of canon or another, and really wish it had been different in whatever way!

I'm glad what I was trying to describe about writing was making sense! Thank you for listening, I really appreciate it. And 15 years is a long time, but like, I've been writing since I was like 8, so that's how I arrived at that number lmao. I was telling stories from the time I could talk, I just didn't start writing them down until I got to be 8, and that's where it all began! Little 8 year old me didn't even know I'd be writing like this though, little 8 year old me just wanted to keep my siblings entertained for our parents :)

Oh yeah I love a good fucked up relationship omg, but I'm sorry it hit so close to home like that. Okay so Pacify sounds amazing, I'm going to give that a look, thank you for mentioning it (insert eye emoji several times I'm on desktop and have no idea how to do that from here lmao). I'm sorry that you got panicked morality asks about that, wtf, that's so fucking rude of them. I checked the tags out on the whole series, and this seems so tame considering some of the tags I've seen for other stuff? And like, maybe I'm tainted from delving into the wonderful world of dead dove as a writer plus no longer having anti mutuals, but sheesh. Antis really don't have better shit to do? I hope you can get back to the fic someday, it looks really good and you deserve to have a good time reading whatever you want!

I had to take a break from the tomarry because I ordered the 7 books (from a thrift store, obv, we do not support R*wling in this household) and it's been over a decade since the last time I read them and I needed the refresher. I've just started Goblet of Fire, and I've only had my hands on the books for 8 days, and omg. The tomarry brainrot is real. And my old drarry brainrot is back, and I have to tell you I'm down for snarry too now!

Looking back at this from an adult's perspective is pretty wild too. The first two books were marketed as children's books, but 3-7 were YA back when they were released, and my library even had book 7 alone in the YA section up until a few years ago when they finally moved it down to children's to be with the rest of the series. All this context because, I've been reading adult fiction and horror for the last decade, when I wasn't reading fanfic. And reading children's books for the first time in that long was a goddamn shock (affectionate), but it was really fun to pretend for a bit that I was just a kid on the 8 hour drive to our vacation cabin again! Once I got to Prisoner of Azkaban I felt a lot more comfy with the writing style, but YA is much closer to what I'm familiar with than outright children's, which I'm ofc grateful for. And omg, this series meant so much to kid!me, and I forgot how wonderful it was, and all the current discourse with it (while justified) has really tainted my recollections of it. Yes there's so much ableism and racism and homophobia, but that's what fandom is for, isn't it?

(I'll be honest, as someone who's still got a foot in a fandom such as Hetalia, I see no issues with being in a fandom for a problematic media; and my personal opinion is that I'm not comfortable consuming canon unless necessary for such a media, and if I must consume canon then I buy it secondhand so that the creator doesn't get my support. I have no interest in the HP movies, nor the books past Deathly Hollows; and if I ever do have a point where I'm interested in them, again, I'll just by them secondhand. And if I may add, I've recently started getting involved in professional published and to-be-published author's groups, as a means of encouraging myself to work on my original novel, and you'd (/general you) be incredibly surprised to see how they all interact with and around content that's incredibly problematic for whatever reason and how they interact about authors who are horrible people such as R*wling. It's been very interesting to see such things from a professional, irl pov instead of just fandom. But anyway, that's my views on the topic just so we're all clear fuck R*wling <333 I also hope that all made sense lmao thanks for letting me express that I've been needing to say it since getting back into the fandom)

But okay my opinions on Dumbledore. That opinion from the other week was 100% warped by the last decade in fandom without any interaction with canon on my part. Having read books 1-3, I can see a lot of my old opinions and admiration for Dumbledore still being applicable today, in fact I even suspect a lot of my opinions of death and dying could have come directly from Sorcerer's Stone where Dumbledore talks about Flammel deciding to give up his immortality. And you're right, it's hard to apply adult lenses to a children's/YA series where if the guardian figures were "adequate" for lack of a better word, we wouldn't have any story at all. So I'm kind of reading this from a, "if I were still a kid again how would I interact with this" perspective, while also maintaining my, "as an adult how would I write these characters being in their 20s (or whatever age they are when Harry, Ron and Hermione are mid-20s)" perspective. It's been helping a lot to have my reactions split like that lol. I think my current annoyance with Dumbledore is that, how dare he let Harry go back to the Dursley's now, knowing how abusive they are to him? And I understand (from memory, ofc), that there's the mother's love protection, but I suppose from an adult's perspective, particularly an adult like how I am, I can't quite get it. I do take back what I said about Dumbledore being a horrible character though. He's got his past, and his reasons, and he's been fighting this war longer than any of the characters in this series have been alive for the most part. Obviously he'll be flawed in ways I won't be able to understand, and that's how real people are, so ofc I won't always get it. It's interesting, I think, being an adult and remembering how fondly and in awe I'd look up to Dumbledore, and now as that adult wondering how he could make some of these decisions. None of this is meant like, rudely or anything btw, just v interesting and v looking forward to rereading the rest of the series and forming further analyses!! Thank you for getting me onto this <33

When I finish the last book, I would love to hear that essay about Snape please (once again insert eyes emoji)!

And yeah, Harry Potter was a big fandom for me at one point so I def get it! I've found it's the kind of fandom that almost everyone has been in at one point, and most of us always go back at certain points in our lives. I'm really lucky that I get to be rereading it now, I really needed this right now with everything going on, so thank you so much Ram <333

Everything is going much better now, thank you for all the love! And right back at you, all my love to you and may you have a lovely day when you see this <333

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter three

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1994

I'm bad at writing descriptions, so this is basically a reader insert into The First Avenger and then we'll see how it goes from there.

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Masterlist

The afternoon passed quickly and soon it was almost time to go to bed. I was sitting in a chair, reading, in the living room. Steve was sitting in the chair to my left, drawing away in his sketchbook. For as long as I could remember growing up, Steve had wanted to become a comic illustrator. When we were younger he drew small comic strips about the adventures Bucky, himself, and I would go on. They were always fun to read, but then the US entered the war 3 years ago and Steve stopped drawing all the time and focused on trying to join the fighting. He even got Bucky to help train him at the local boxing gym in the afternoons. Now he only drew when he was anxious or if something was on his mind. I knew if I asked he would just deny it and put everything away.

“I’m off to bed Stevie. Don’t stay up too late,” I yawned. I placed my bookmark in between the pages and quietly pulled myself up from my chair. Steve followed and gave me a short hug.

“I won’t, I’ll probably head to bed here in a few minutes. Thank you for helping me pack today,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome, I’ll see you off in the morning. Goodnight.” I headed out into the small hallway and into my bedroom. I got myself ready, turned off the bedside lamp, and then crawled into bed. The day had been fast but exhausting. I let my eyes close and my mind drifted to thoughts of Bucky on the ship headed to Europe. Was he okay, did he miss me yet, was he alone? I knew he would be fine, but I prayed anyway. I prayed that he would come back to me safe and sound. I also thought of Steve and how he would be going off to training. I knew Dr. Erskine had some plan involving Steve in Project Rebirth, but I just hoped that he knew what he was doing and that Steve would be safe.

Project Rebirth wasn't something to take lightly. We were creating stronger, faster, and better soldiers. Steve had no clue what he was getting himself into and even though I couldn’t tell him I was involved with this project yet, I would be by his side each step of the way.

Finally, tiredness overtook my worried thoughts and I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning started like any other, I woke up to the jarring sound of the alarm clock by my head. After stretching I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash the sleep from my face. The warm water helps to wake me up. When I was through with that I made my way into the kitchen to start making breakfast for myself and Steve like always. I had just placed the bread in the toaster when Steve strolled groggily into the room. He went over to the counter where I had placed our bowls of cereal and grabbed one. Then he walked over to the table to take a seat. When the toast was ready I put the pieces on a plate and took them over to the table after grabbing my cereal bowl. Steve grabbed a piece of toast off the plate and slowly started to eat.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, did you even go to bed like I told you,” I questioned him and took a few bites of my cereal.

“Yes, I went straight to bed a few minutes after you did,” he replied while glancing up from his cereal and through his lashes.

“Well, the dark circles under your eyes prove otherwise. You won't be able to stay up late and sleep in after you move into the barracks.” He shook his head and kept eating. “Well,” I started with a sigh, “I’ve got to head off to work in a few, I can walk you as far as the subway.”

“Thanks, It would be nice if you could come with me but I know you can't take off on such short notice.” I smiled at him and we continued to eat our breakfast in peaceful silence. After we finished I went to grab the empty dishes but Steve grabbed them before I could. “Here, let me. You go get ready.” I thanked him and went on to get ready for the workday.

When walking to the subway Steve and I cut up and joked like we always did. It wasn’t until we were almost at the subway stop that we became quieter. I grabbed Steve and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’ll see you later. Try not to get into too much trouble during training,” I joked before pulling away.

“I can’t guarantee that but I’ll try my best not to. Have a good day at work, and remember to lock the door when you get home, I know you forget to do that at times. I won't be there to lock it behind you if you forget.”

“That was one time, but I’ll remember to check it before I go to bed. Now go or you'll miss your ride.” I watched as he walked away, I waved to him when he turned around to me. I stood watching until he walked down the subway stairs. After he was gone I started on my way to the recruitment office, which was just about three blocks away.

It was a peaceful walk, the city was starting to come alive around me as I went. Women and men on their way to work and children on their way to school. The recruitment office was slowly coming into view, I could already see a line of young men standing from the door and down the sidewalk.

Once I made it to the building I maneuvered my way through the crowd of boys and headed to the back office where a short old woman sat at a desk sorting through some files. She looked up at me and smiled while she said, “Beautiful morning, do you have the time?”

I responded quickly with the other half of the code phrase, “Unfortunately my watch has stopped at 4:18.” She nodded and reached her hand under the desk to press a tiny button that would unlock a secret door that was hidden behind four large filing cabinets. I quickly headed in before anyone could come into the back room. The door closed softly behind me and locked back into place. I continued to walk down the dimly lit hallway until I found the women's locker room. Part of keeping the secret of working for the military was that I had to keep my uniform in the hidden base and change into it when I went into work.

After quickly changing into the uniform I left the locker room to go to the elevator that was directly at the end of the hall. I pressed the down button and the doors opened up. While inside I pressed the third level button and waited for the elevator to jerk to life.

As the doors slid open onto the third level basement floor I saw many people running around the yellow-lit hallways. I walked out into the hallway and was greeted by Agent Peggy Carter, who was walking towards me from the meeting room to my left. “Morning Carter, what's on the agenda today,” I questioned.

“Good morning Rogers, I believe today you and I will be going to Camp Lehigh to scout out the new recruits for Project Rebirth. We will be helping with their training starting before lunchtime today.” She kept walking as she explained the plans for today, I followed closely behind her.

“Then we should get to the car, it is almost nine,” I noted as we kept going through several corridors to the garage. “I have some things to tell you as soon as we leave.” Peggy nodded but kept quiet. After about a minute of walking, we made it to the large parking garage. It had been built under the secret base as a quick getaway escape or just a way to move discreetly in and out of the city. Some of the tunnels that were connected to the garage went on for several miles. The one we would be taking surfaced only a few miles away from Camp Lehigh.

As we reached the car, Peggy and I both opened our doors and slid into the back seat. A young army man was already in the driver's seat ready to drive us away. “What is it you wanted to tell me about earlier,” she asked.

“Do you remember me telling you about my older brother Steve?” I questioned while looking over at her.

“The one that keeps trying to enlist? I remember.” She nodded her head as she spoke.

“Yeah, that's the one. Well, yesterday he told me that he’s been recruited, and by Dr. Erskine. So that means that he is going to be one of the candidates for Project Rebirth. He has no clue what my job actually is, but with me being heavily involved in this project, will it be a problem? Are there any protocols that need to be followed?” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle when mentioned Dr. Erskine. Then she looked out the window and seemed to think for a minute.

Turning back to me she said, “There isn’t any protocol that I can think of, other than that you have to treat him exactly like you would treat the other recruits. This is a sort of gray area because of your heavy involvement with this project over the last several years and the fact that Dr. Erskine himself chose your brother to be in this program.” I slowly nodded my head as she continued. “That being said, If we encounter him, I would give him a small explanation of why you are there without giving him any information about the project, and that while he is there in training, you are his superior, not his sister.”

“Okay, thanks. That's what I was thinking but I just wanted to ask you just in case. When I see him I’ll pull him over to the side and explain.” I paused for a second and lifted my hand up to grab at the necklace I had been wearing. Dangling from the small chain was a dainty art deco style ring, which once belonged to Bucky’s mother. I turned in between my fingers and watched as what little light there was, bounced off the small square diamond in the middle. I placed it back under my blouse. “James left yesterday with the 107th, I still haven’t said anything to Steve.”

“You’re going to have to tell him eventually, it will be better if it’s sooner than later. Since James is his friend he shouldn't be that mad. Trust me, I know from experience.” After saying this she looked out her window and for the briefest moment, I saw a look of sadness go across her face.

“I know I should tell him, but Steve has it in his head that James is someone who isn't going to settle down anytime soon.”

“That’s probably because neither of you has given Steve reason to not believe that James is that way. He’s your brother and he trusts your judgment, if it doesn't go over smoothly just give him time, he’ll come to realize that you and James love one another, and there really isn't anything he can do about it,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Here,” she handed me a small stack of manila folders, “look over these. They’re the files on all the project recruits.”

I opened the first folder and started to skim over the information and thought this was going to be a long drive.

[6rookie-writer0110]

Hold up Vermont, is a real state?

Sebastian Stan x Male Reader

Request- Also for that seb x male could u do a happy ending where they propose to each other and then later on have a kids-🐳 p.s. LOVE U SO MUCH IM GO CRY NOW ABOUT HOW I WANT SEB STAN TO BE MY HUBBIE

You and Sebastian have been quarantined for two months now. He is happy about it because he has been living in Atlanta, Georgia because he has been working on The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. You live with Sebastian in his condo and you two are in love. Sebastian has been letting his beard grow and it grows fast. You and Sebastian are always in briefs and stay up late.

You and Sebastian fell asleep on the couch, he is behind you. He has his arm around you and his leg on top of you. You can feel his beard and long hair on your neck. Sebastian start to wake up and he kissed your shoulder. He goes back to sleep a few minutes later you wake up and he is still sleeping. You gently moved his arm away from you and slowly got off the couch. He didn't wake up and you put the blanket on him.

Later, you go to the bedroom to change your shirt then went to the home office. You get on your laptop and you start to work, you and Sebastian own a bar/restaurant and both businesses are closed because of the disease. Sebastian wakes up and he starts to look for you. He checks the home office and sees you typing.

”Hey handsome” Sebastian said.

His hands go down your chest and he kissed your cheek.

”Thought you were going to sleep all night,” You said.

”Couldn’t. I'm just letting everyone know they won't lose their jobs and they will still get paid” You said.

”That’s good. How about I make us something to eat and you keep working” Sebastian said.

You nod.

”Okay,” You said.

Sebastian gave you a peck on the lips. He left the home office and went to the bedroom. He takes out the ring box and he stares at the engagement ring. You and Sebastian did talk about marriage many times. For months he thought of he will ask you to make him. He would overthink everything and couldn't make up his mind. Now he knows what to do.

--

You are still working and Sebastian knows you won't leave the office anytime soon. He turns on the Nintendo Switch and puts in Super Mario Maker 2. He starts to play but he is doing something special. Two hours later he finished now he starts to make dinner. You are still in the office and Sebastian tries to make everything perfect. He tried to make your favorite meal and he hopes you won't hate it.

”Babe, dinner is ready,” Sebastian said.

”What took you long to make dinner?” You asked.

You followed him to the living room.

”I thought we can play and have dinner,” Sebastian said.

”Sure why not,” You said.

First, you start to eat and drink and he does the same. Later, he sets up the game Super Mario Maker 2. While playing then you noticed something. He takes out the ring box and his heart is racing fast.

”Y/N,” Sebastian said.

In the game, he tried his best to write; Y/N would you marry me?

You look at him and your eyes are wide open.

”Seb?” You asked.

”Y/N, I mean it would you marry me? I love you and I want to grow old-”

You put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him.

”I will marry you,” You said.

He smiled and kissed you then he puts the ring on your finger.

”I wanted to take you somewhere romantic but we can't travel. So I thought to do something very different” Sebastian said.

” It's perfect and what you did made me speechless. I was going to ask you to marry me at Disney world once this whole thing was over” You said.

”You can ask me now,” Sebastian said.

You nod, you go that bedroom and look for the ring. You come back with the ring and you grab his hand.

”Seb, would you marry me? I had this whole speech prepared. You make me happy and feel loved and I want to spend my whole life with you and create new memories with you” You said.

”You are cute and I love you, Y/N. I would marry you” Sebastian said.

You put the ring on his finger and he got on top of you. You and Sebastian can't stop smiling.

✫ ✬ ✯ ✫

You and Sebastian are still being quarantined. His hair got a little longer and he is letting his beard grow longer. You and Sebastian are using the laptop looking up wedding ideas, it's overwhelming. But he called his friend and family and told them the good news. You did the same, later you and Sebastian took pictures with the rings on and posted on Instagram.

”Where should we go for the honeymoon?” Sebastian asked.

You and Sebastian look online to get ideas where you go.

”How about Mauritius?” You asked.

”Sounds good, it does have beautiful beaches. We can stay there for a week or two” Sebastian said.

”Yeah, we can. We still have a lot to do. You are going to let your hair and beard grow longer?” You said.

”Yeah, I want my beard to grow down to my chest” Sebastian joked.

You laughed.

”You are crazy” You giggled.

✬ ✯ ✫

~Time Skip~

You and Sebastian have been married for years and have two kids. Have a two-month-old baby boy and a toddler who is three years old. You finally arrived home and your daughter runs to you.

”Dad!!” She yelled with joy.

You kneel down to pick her up and she wrapped her arms around your neck. You picked her up and kissed her head.

”I missed you,” You said.

”I miss you, Dad,” She said.

You are still carrying her and you see Sebastian feeding the baby.

”He definitely eats like you, always making a mess” You giggled.

Sebastian kissed your lips.

”Glad you are home. But he doesn't eat like me and I don't make a mess” Sebastian said.

He feeds the baby again but the baby spits out the food. You and your daughter laughed.

”She made a drawing for us. It's our family portrait” Sebastian said.

”Oh sweetie, that is great. Can you show me the drawing?” You said to her.

She nods and smiled.

”Yeah,” She said.

You put her down and she went to get her drawing. She sits on your lap and shows you the drawing.

”Wow, this is amazing! We should put it on the fridge” You said and kissed her head.

Later, you bathe your son while Sebastian plays in the backyard with your daughter. You see him going down the slide with her and she can't stop smiling.

[thewritepages]

The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (1)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

MAY 3, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

I hate myself.

No, really. I may have called it once or twice in the past due to mild anger or frustration, but this.

This is real.

I mean, I may be the only person who would:

A) Cry over a failed marriage during an interview

B) Scratch that, cry over a failed marriage in midst of the most IMPORTANT interview in my entire career!

C) Go straight to the pub later to drown my sorrows when I know perfectly well what would happen if I do get drunk.

D) Do what would be obvious to a broken-hearted, career destroyed, thirty year old drunk woman: Leave a string of carefully selected profanities on the voice mail of my beloved ex-husband.

E) Waking up several hours later on the side of god-knows-what street staring in horror at the drunken messages I've sent to everyone in my cell's contact list- which would also include my parents.

And to think of it, I managed it all in little less than 12 hours last night.

I think I'll just dig a burrow in my apartment and never come out of it. Wait a minute...

That's it! I'm never leaving my apartment again. It'll be perfect- I'll take up one of those work-at-home jobs they always advertise on the internet, eat ramen noodles for sustenance and stay protected from the world outside throughout my life.

In fact, I'll tip off my doorman to tell my family that I've left to pursue my inner self and I may never come back again. As many years pass by, my family would mourn over my presumed death while I get a plastic surgery done and change my name to something untraceable like Ronal Wallis.

Oh, jolly good! A brilliant idea. Why didn't I ever think of this before?

MAY 3, 2019.

13.30 P.M.

---------------------------------------------------

Err; maybe the whole change-my-identity-and-live-happily plan didn't exactly work.

Don't get me wrong, it didn't totally blow up or anything. My doorman, Steve did his job perfectly, informing my sister that I have indeed joined Deepak Chopra on a journey to find myself in a tiny village in the Himalayan Valleys. He narrated the story in such a sober tone that even I found myself believing him for a moment.

But Steve and I didn't realize that in order to leave the country, I would actually need my passport- The passport which is still in my ex-husband's apartment along with the rest of the stuff I was going to pick up this week.

Unfortunately, my sister was very much aware of this piece of information.

"Anna, it's been two months. You've got to get your shit together. You cannot stay dep-" I gave my sister a warning glance.

Not the D-word. Definitely not the D-word.

"I'm completely fine."I mumbled, looking down at the dregs of my empty coffee mug.

"No, you're not completely fine Annabelle Green. You've stopped calling, stop visiting all of us. Hell, nowadays you don't even get your ass out of the bed. Now, I know what Luc-"she stopped short, taking in my pained expression.

Another word I do not want to hear – Luc- Lucas.

Lucas .Lucas. Lucas.

"I'm sorry," Kat, my sister, bowed her head down low. "I shouldn't have brought him up."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have." My eyes closed from exhaustion. "Kat, why are you here?"

"Well, last night you-"

"I KNOW. It was a mistake. And I think I sent an explanatory text earlier this morning."

"That won't stop me from checking up on you, Anna. I'm bloody worried about you."

My eyes descend down to her enormous belly. She shouldn't worry about me right now- I'm not the one who is due for two bouncing baby boys in less than two months.

Did I just say bouncing? Oh, Lord.

"How're the boys kickin'?" I pat her belly gently, forcing myself to smile.

Her face instantly relaxes. "Oh, they're kickin', all right," she smiles at me, "Didn't give me a wink of sleep last week."

Well, that makes the two of us.

"I can't wait for little John and Paul to meet their ol' Aunt Anna." At least this was true. The arrival of my twin nephews is the only thing keeping me up for the past couple of months.

"Anna, we have talked about this. I'm not naming the kids after The Beatles."

"Why not? I recommend you have another set of twin boys so we'll have the entire boy band in our family."

"And have four crazy boys running around the household? No thanks. Phil and I would probably die of insanity."

Sigh. Phil and Kat. Their story is the closest you'd ever get to a fairytale- childhood sweethearts; they were two young teenagers wildly in love but were painfully separated to colleges at the opposite ends of the country. When it looked like it was truly over between them, they reconciled during the summer after college. It was literally The Notebook all over again, leaving out all the letter writing and the crazy house building. I don't think Phil is capable of fixing a broken lock, let alone build an entire house.

Suddenly, I felt someone holding my hand tightly. I look up to see Kat's eyes filled with tears. "Annie, come home. Mum and Dad miss you. I miss you. We want to stay with you in these difficult times. A few days away from Seattle will do you good. "She gets up. "Mum, Dad and Phil are waiting for us in the car downstairs. I'll help you pack up."

My heart softens, but I raise my eyebrows in sarcasm. "So, they sent you to emotionally blackmail me, right? Well, it's working, Mommy –in-waiting."

She tweaks my nose playfully. "It always does, baby sis."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me by reblogging or sending me a message. I'm very new to Tumblr writing so it'll really help me calm my nerves :")

Lastly, I'm tagging a few lovely authors here whose works I've been binge reading and they've really inspired me to put out my work out here. Authors, if you like this chapter, I'd be very grateful if you could share it among your network and let me know :)))))

@go1denjeon, @ladyartemesia,@noteguk,@junghelioseok

[2stylisharlow]

Our Song

Jay Park x Reader One Shot

Summary: You and Jay have been dating for 6 years now and he finally wants to make you his last name by writing you a song.

Song: The Promise

By: Jay Park

IMPORTANT NOTE: This post was originally created on my old tumblr. (K-BopScenerios) But due to getting a new email I had to make a new Tumblr account.

**********************

(Jay's P.O.V.)

"Hey Gray!" I shouted loud enough for him to hear from the other room.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Can you listen to this song I just made? I need your opinion on it."

"Yeah sure, is it for an upcoming album or something?"

"No, it's a song I wrote for (Y/N)."

"What's the occasion?"

"Well..." I paused.

"Well..? What?" He asked.

"I've finally decided that I want to propose to her."

"Are you serious?!?! That's awesome bro!"

"Thanks, I just hope she says yes."

"Ah, you're just talking shit. You guys have been dating for SIX years now. Trust me, she'll say yes. Now hand over the headphones and let me have a listen.”

~Song Plays/Ends~

"Well?"

"You're crazy if you think she'll say no."

"Really? It's not bad? Not too cheesy?"

"You're over-doubting yourself. This song tells (Y/N) how much you love her and how much you want to be with her. It has so much meaning for the two of you."

"Thanks. I worked hard on it and I really needed some encouragment."

"You know what they always say right? Hard work pays off. And anytime, I got your back, you got mine. So, are you gonna tell her to come to the studio to listen to it?"

"Should I?"

"Why not? The sooner the better."

I didn't say anything in return as I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

When I opend my phone and got to her contact name, I sat there for a few moments.

I was nervous to call.

"Come on dude, what're you so nervous for? It's (Y/N)."

"Y-Yeah, you're right." I said as I clicked the call button.

After about three rings she answered.

"Hey babe."

"Hey, are you busy right now?"

"Nope, just chilling at home watching TV. Why what's up?"

"C-Can you come to the studio? I have something for you."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few. Love you.

"Love you too baby." I said as I hung up.

~Time Skip~

~(Y/N'S) P.OV.~

"Hello?" I called out as I opened the door to Jay's studio.

When I walked in, there sat Jay and Gray at his editing station.

"(Y/N)!" Gray yelled as he ran up to me and lifted me in the air; giving me the biggest hug he could.

"Hey Gray! It's been a while!"

"Yeah, tell me about it. AOMG just keeps get busier by the day."

"Gee, sounds like a lot of work."

"Ugh, it is."

I just chuckled as I looked up at him.

"Well, if I'm hardly mistaken, I was told that there was a surprise for me." I grinned as a looked over at Jay.

"Well, it seems that you aren't mistaken my dear for this present is a good one." He said as he turned to Jay.

~(Jay's P.O.V.)~

"Good luck." He said to me as he walked out the door leaving just (Y/N) and I in the room.

~(Y/N'S) P.O.V.)~

"So, what do you have for me?"

"Something very important to me and I need your opinion on it. Here, put these on." He said as he gave me a pair of headphones.

I did as told while Jay took a seat across from me getting my surprise ready.

As soon as he pressed play, he put a pair of headphones on as well and looked directly at me.

There was something in his eyes that I couldn't tell.

Was he nervous?

No, he looked scared actually.

Hell, I could even see a layer of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Jay? Are you okay? You look scar-"

Baby I love you, my heart won't change.

The song started off as it took me by surprise with the first sentence.

I looked up at Jay with a smile on my face.

Even if our love gets lost for a second baby.

Even if it's hard please wait for me baby.

I don't care if the world turns againts me, baby baby.

I only need you.

"So baby, promise me that you'll never leave.”

He sang as he got up from his chair; removing both of our headphones and lifting me up.

"Baby, promise me that you'll love me forever.

Baby, promise me wheather I become rich or things get hard.

Promise me that we'll happily grow old together.

Promise baby promise oh please."

I couldn't say anything due to being so taken back

Instead, I just stared up at him with loving eyes; listening to every word that left his angelic lips.

"Every morning when I open my eyes, I see your face.

I only love you.

You can't not know my heart, baby, my girl.

I don't care if the world turns againts me.

I only need you.

So baby, promise me that you'll never leave.

Baby, promise me that you'll love me forever.

Baby, wheather I become rich or things get hard.

Promise me that we'll happily grow old together.

Promise baby promise oh please.

Living without you in this life will not be like living at all.

When I smile, when I cry, be with me my baby baby.

Forever, forever my baby.”

He sang out, causing tears to roll down my cheeks as all different kinds of emotions began to overwhelm me.

"So baby, promise me that you'll never leave.

Baby, promise me that you'll love me forever.

Baby promise me wheather I become rich or things get hard.

Promise me that we'll happily grow old together.

Promise baby promise oh please.

Promise me, promise me."

He ended while looking down at me with tears rolling down his cheeks as well.

He then crouched down on one kneee; grabbing a maroon velvet box out of his pocket.

I couldn't help to gasp and cover my mouth.

A new wave of tears started to form and roll down my cheeks as I began to sob out of pure love and joy.

"(Y/N)..."

"Y-Yes?"

"The very first time that I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were going to be my forever.

I love and care about you so much that I can't even look at you another day without seeing a ring on your finger.

I want you to be mine, my Mrs. Park.

I want to start and share a whole new life with you.

You're my everything, my world, my life, my one and only, my forever.

So... Without further more, will you marry me?" He finally asked.

"Oh Jay!" I sobbed as I threw myself onto him; wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yes! Yes Jay! Yes I'll marry you!"

Without a second to spare, Jay grabbed both sides of my face as he crashed his lips against mine.

"Thank you." He whispered.

I just chuckled as I snuggled into his chest.

"Can you sing to me again?"

"Of course, anything for my beautiful wife.”

[whateverlandia]

ooph! yesterday was a doozy, but i think a pretty healthy one! i stepped away from blogging to be in my feelings, and ultimately ended up processing a lot more on a now deleted reddit thread. apparently i accidentally edited 2/3 of it into oblivion and so then i just scrapped it.

but i'm with those sentiments and still driving forward through them.

it was great to sit with and confront the shame and remorse i feel towards arielle. it was hurting so much, and it does, to sit with a real sense of how much i let them down. specifically, when it comes to making them feel safe. i won't get into it, and i'm not trying to beat myself up about it. or to dwell on it overly.

i mean, just for the sake of writing atm. it's not what i want to talk about in this moment.

gonna pause and leave this open while i continue relaxing and getting around to what i do want to talk about

i was a lot more confused yesterday. let's put it that way. i even thought about breaking no contact a few times, which was a very new impulse since that began. not happening, not anytime too soon, anyway.

ultimately, i've been sitting with and processing a lot, and i think..

i think i'm coming to a place of deciding to reach out to them, in time. i'm not sure when, yet.

i just know that i care deeply about that person and their future, and there are ***so many*** things that were left unaddressed still from *my side*.

I have a lot of shame and guilt that were introduced to me by gaining awareness of what took place there, via learning, after things were done. this all sounds so shitty and unspecific, but i lost the far more detailed stuff from last night.

i'm just logging the skeleton of things, and setting my trajectory.

unfortunately, i do this for her, and for myself for having the need to do so, but i think she really killed the romance, or that i killed it inside of her. her words are completely unambiguous, about that.

not exactly odd that her expressing never again would effect me greatly, but surprising to me what many things have come since then, now that the obsessive upfront binge learning phase is cooling off. i had thought my next phase is surely, more self focused work. but instead emerges a lot that demands to be felt, and processed, first. and i'm *really* happy about that, although i haven't had or taken the chance to pause and to really appreciate it. it's scary when things change and you're not sure what you're going through.

I think i'm going to start up a backburner project, where for now i'm collecting things to speak to. just a list of things to speak to. there's a lot of damage to make an honest effort at undoing. i feel bound by this. it would seem to supersede my self-important and self-preserving distance. i don't know. i'm actually not sure, still. sometimes i honestly feel so comparatively unimportant to that person that to bother caring about them or putting time into their life when they are so disinterested in doing the same for me is a bit of a cause for concern

but i continue to raise myself as a man whose measure of worth is partially assessed in how i treat those who i have nothing to gain from.

i want to be optimistic about her growth. her sincerity. her valuing of me. but why should i be? believing in the people who treat me like crap as part of their half-involved lifestyle has been terrible for me to date. genuinely terrible.

if these people would just treat me right, treat me with respect, my god maybe even *show* me love. if they'd treat themselves right. show themselves love. if they'd be active participants in the betterment of their own lives. instead of foreverwhatevering.

how *intensely* i would want to be a part of their lives, and to give them all of my support.

i watched my mom spend her life helping people who didn't appreciate it that much. she literally still is. truth is, though. it's an honor to serve. it is beautiful. being self obsessed is very unappealing.

i'm also not sure about failing to commit to a full mental/focus break from arielle. the best part of exiting each others lives is the regaining of focus on self. and the power to 'start over' and direct your life differently, adaptively. one of the best parts of not being friends, too.

it is a very weird thing to judge another person for their imperfections when you yourself are littered with them. i'm humbling myself with this thought at the moment, rather than chastising others judgement towards me. though i could.

i'm only in charge of me, though. ooph. i thought maybe i was a bit more sure of forward directions than i am yet. not too surprising if a lot more thinking about things needs to take place. the wonderful thing, is having the time and space to freely and comfortably do so

might be getting a job as a janitor, soon. or a job as a crypto researcher. i don't really care all that much either way, lol.

starting to get a very strong grasp on my focus on what i really want to be about and a part of, with my life.

i really like life