#I'm very glad I didn't abandon the thing entirely

[leftshiftwashere]

Rare moment when I don't post something related to half life at all

but!

I made some skins based off my rain world and days union crossover so I present to you.....

The Kingpin and the Observer!

Here's a bunch of sketches with them I drew before

Never thought I'd ever be figuring out rain world sprites to bring those creatures to life but here we are

[mrm0rgansw0man]

Hi! Can I request something real quick?

Just a religious girl falling in love with Arthur and everytime he goes on an extended job, she goes to church and prays for her man to come back to her. And Arthur practically always finds her back at the church, making her prayers come true.

Thank you very much, I love your writing, Arthur is so cute I need more fluff for this man<33

hii! im so glad you like my writingg!! and i love this idea SO much this is gonna be amazing to write Xx

don't condemn me to this altar.

Arthur sighed as he looked up into the fabric of his tent. He missed you deeply. The sound of your voice, the feeling of your touch. The pressure of your lips against his own. He hated leaving you like this, espically knowing how dangerous things could be on jobs like this. And he knew how much you worried,

"Jus' one more night honey..." Arthur said to himself. "I'm comin' home to you I promise."

Arthur contemplated for a moment, and then spoke.

"Our father, who-"

✟

"-art in heaven."

'Let him come home.'

"Hallowed by thy name."

'Please god.'

"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done."

'He's a good man. Please.'

"On earth as it is in heaven."

'I love him so much. Please..'

"Give us this day out daily bread."

'I need him, lord. Let him come home."

"And forgive us our trespasses. as we forgive those who trespass against us."

'Please forgive my love. He is a good man. Bring him home safely to me. I'm begging you.'

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

'I'm begging you.'

"Amen."

'Don't condemn me to this alter.'

You stood up shakily, wiping the tears from your eyes on the side of your veil. You never used to wear one to pray, you weren't that religious before. But since Arthur gifted one to you, you never failed to wear it to the church. Especially when you we're praying for him to come home to you.

You loved Arthur Morgan, so much. He made you feel safe, he made you feel loved, he understood you. You never believed much in love, or in god for that matter. You didn't care for or believe in anything. But Arthur Morgan, oh god. He brought color back into your life. He made you feel again. After you met, you actually felt like you could take a full breath. Even after he confessed to you who he really was, and what he did. He wept, he actually wept. He was on his knees in front of you, begging you for forgiveness. He knew you were a religious woman, and he thought you'd think he was some filthy horrible monster. A murder. A sinner.

But he couldn't be more wrong,

You prayed to god yes, but you were no saint. And you certainly not God himself, you were in no place to judge him for anything he'd done. Especially because you knew deep down he was a kind and pure soul. He helped anyone in need, he treated women like they were people. He was deeply loyal and protective to the people he loved. You held Arthur tight and promised him this did not change a thing. You loved him just the same, if not more for being honest with you about who he was. You wiped his tears, and kissed him all over. His neck, his face, his hands. You even brought him to church afterwards, just to show him it was okay. That it was good. But once you were back at your home, Arthur knelt down to a different altar entirely.

You sighed at the memory. You worried so much about Arthur, it consumed you half the time. It was much more often than you would ever admit, especially to him. As much as you would love Arthur to stop living this life he couldn't just abandon his family. Especially when (in your opinion at least) he was the glue that held them together. And you knew he worried about you, too.

"Does he pray for me, God? I taught him your prayer." You said softly, looking up at the crucifix hung up on the wall. You liked coming to the church when it was empty, you were free to speak aloud.

"I do. Every night 'M gone darlin'"

Your heart got caught in your chest as you heart that sweet southern drawl that made your heart melt and your legs weak.

Your face burst into a grin, and you couldn't help but run and jump into the arms of your lover. He caught you with ease, squeezing you tight around the waist and burying his face in your neck and hair.

"Arthur! Oh, Arthur!" You said with a laugh. It was an airy and care free sound, one that made Arthur's head spin. "I missed you- I love you! Oh I'm so glad to see you!"

"My sweet beautiful girl." Arthur mumbled into your neck. He brought his face up to pull you into a passionate and loving kiss. You wound your fingers into his hair and he brought one of his hands up to cup your face.

Once you both eventually (and reluctantly) pulled away, Arthur set you down gently on the ground. He still held you close though, your bodies were flush against each other and your head was buried in his chest.

"I was so worried about you.." You mumbled. Arthur let out a regretful sigh. Damn this life. He wanted nothing more than to run from it all and right into your loving arms. He knew what would happen if he were to leave for a job and never come back, you would never leave this church. You'd spend the rest of your life on your knees, praying to god for him to walk through the door. He couldn't condemn you to that life-

That's it. He decided. Enough was enough. He couldn't stand to see you in pain like this for another second.

" 'M sorry baby.." Arthur said softly. "I'd never leave ya' ever.. Not without a damn good fight. I could never do that to my best girl.. But let's not think 'bout that right now sweetheart. Tell me, what did ya' do while I was gone?"

"I prayed for you." You said as you smiled gently up at him. "And look, here you are right back in my arms. Just like I wanted."

"You, my love," Arthur said softly. "must be an angel. Sent here just to keep me safe." Arthur cupped your face in between both of his hands. "I don't know what I'd do without ya' honey.."

You were about to speak, but Arthur interupted you.

"I'm done." He whispered. Your eyes widened, what did he mean? "Runaway with me."

Oh. That's what me meant.

"Arthur.." You breathed out, tears pooling in your eyes. "Are... do you mean it?"

"Yes. I'm done, I can't live like this no more..." Arthur said and sighed. "Especially not with such an amazing woman in my life."

You smiled, and actually started to laugh a bit. You were smiling laughing and crying all at once. You jumped up and threw your arms around Arthur's neck,. He caught you and he spun you around in the air. When he set you back down on the ground, you could see the tears in his own eyes.

"We're gonna live the rest of our lives in peace Mr. Morgan." You breathed out. burying your head in his chest once again. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of both of your shoulders.

"Yes we are, Mrs. Morgan."

[dfwbwfbbwfbwf]

A king is he that can hold his own or else his title is vain.

Long rant, so I'm putting it under a "Read More".

-----

I've seen some people who really seem to hate this quote. "How dare Maeðros tell Thingollo what to do on his own land! Those arrogant Noldor, waltzing in and colonizing the land."

But that's not exactly what happened, is it?

For starters, this is the entire quote:

A king is he that can hold his own or else his title is vain. Thingol does but grant us lands where his power does not run. Indeed Doriath alone would be his realm this day but for the coming of the Noldor. Therefore in Doriath let him reign and be glad that he has the sons of Finwë for his neighbours not the Orcs of Morgoth that we found.

These are the facts of the situation:

Very few Eldar lived north of Doriath, if any.

Very few Eldar lived outside of Doriath in general.

Those Eldar who lived out of Doriath were literally on the verge of being destroyed.

The Fëanárions destroyed Morgoth's armies, which saved everyone living in Beleriand - Doriath included.

The Girdle of Melian significantly reduced Thingollo's influence in Beleriand; he essentially abandoned everything outside the border.

For those unaware of how kings and vassals work, there is an agreement between the king and the vassals where the vassals swore fealty to their lord (and would provide resources and military aid when asked) in return for protection from the lord. If the vassal broke the contract, they committed what was called a felony, and their fief was taken from them.

If the lord broke the contract, the vassal was no longer obligated to serve the lord (so long as he could prove the lord's crime against him).

I would say Thingollo broke the lord/vassal contract, given he failed to protect Denethor (who was potentially a vassal, but this example is admittedly weak) and Círdan (who was certainly a vassal). He didn't do it out of malice - he simply couldn't fulfill his end of the bargain. His good intentions don't really change anything.

EDIT: Laisrinel pointed out that lords had castles prepared for their vassals in case of invasions, and the Girdle is Thingollo's equivalent of that. It can definitely be argued that Thingollo didn't break the lord/vassal contract because of that. While that doesn't change my overall argument about how Thingollo lost his authority past the Girdle, it's definitely a great point. (Granted, Melian didn't make it until after Denethor died, by which point it was probably too late for Círdan, but A for effort at least! [D+ in practice, though.])

As for colonizing the land, the Noldor didn't kick anyone out because there was basically no one left to kick out. Ironically, Finrod is the only one who potentially committed genocide, although it's very unclear what happened and it doesn't really mesh with his character. (And the Thindar REALLY committed genocide. Remember how they hunted the petty Dwarves for sport? I know the petty Dwarves weren't 100% innocent in that, as they were stealing from the Thindar, but no one even acknowledges that this happened.)

If someone cannot enforce their authority, they don't have any. That's how things have always been. Thingollo trying to tell the Noldor to do ANYTHING is like an ant trying to boss an anteater around.

(And this shouldn't be too difficult a concept to wrap one's head around. It's usually the people who complain about this quote to say that the Fëanárions don't have the right to the Silmarils, after all, and I've seen this exact argument used. [Even though authority to control and a right to property are not the same thing.])

I don't see anything about what Maeðros said that should be controversial. The fact is, Thingollo was not the king of Beleriand anymore. His authority ran as far as the Girdle. Beleriand wasn't his to rule anymore, and it appears even the Laegrim and Círdan broke their vassal relations with Doriath.

(Ironically, Fingolfin was acting more like the King of Beleriand during the First Age.)

-----

"But dfwbwfbbwfbwf, wouldn't that mean it was okay for Fingolfin to claim kingship from Fëanor, since Fëanor couldn't 'hold his own'?"

Astute observation, rhetorical question! And the answer is no.

¡¿Nani?!

Yeah, I said what I said. The main difference between Maeðros-Thingollo and Fëanor-Fingolfin is that Fingolfin promised to follow Fëanor. No Noldo ever made such a promise to Thingollo. The Noldor owed Thingollo nothing; if anything, Thingollo owed them. How long would Melian's Girdle, powered by a single Maia, have lasted under the combined forces of Morgoth (a Vala), Thauron (a Maia), seven balrogs (seven Maiar), and hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of orcs? Plus possibly a giant spider? 🕷️

(Actually, knowing Jirt, probably forever; can't have his wife's mom be a weakling, after all. It's actually rather annoying imo. But I digress.)

[morethansky]

***TBB SPOILERS***

My primary takeaway from these last six episodes is that Hunter and Crosshair ARE SO MARRIED OH MY GOD. They do everything together, even little chores.

And my Crosshair-is-Hunter's-second agenda continues to thrive; since their reunion, Hunter has hardly made a decision without checking with Crosshair first.

The way I cackled at Crosshair looking up at a ship careening in the sky and being all put upon: "Uh-huh. That's the idiot I married. Unfortunately."

And then the way he hurriedly reached for his binocs when they saw the ship crash, and how the camera lingers on him to show his relief, sob. I see you and thank you for your service, shippers on the crew.

Finally a glimpse of the cadets! Thinking about them tasting ice cream for the first time makes me want to cry. How many clones have never tasted it...

I like that "Identity Crisis" was like a mirror of "Confined," but I think it could have been 15 minutes. To be fair to them, I feel this way about like 75% of the franchise.

So we were all very wrong about what was in the Vault. What was Palpatine even going in there for, honestly. I do quite like this foreshadowing of the Inquisitorius though.

The ominous hint about Emerie's past is interesting. Is the implication that Nala Se took Omega under her wing and abandoned the rest of the Omega clones? Like Jango, I guess.

I love that Tarkin's cameos are all about funding. Something about the Imps squabbling over government spending just delights me. I wonder if the end of that conversation actually means he's not going to be killed by the clones but by Palpatine instead? That'd be kind of disappointing tbh.

Hilarious to me that Fennec got an entire episode and Cad Bane got like two minutes of screentime. Like Asajj, he knows when to stay out of the plot. They did my boy Todo justice though, love that dumb droid.

I, a plushie enthusiast, approve of how this is adamantly a pro-plushie show. But how am I supposed to believe that Omega, who missed Lula so much she effectively cloned her, was just going to leave her there??? I guess that whole scene was just a way to remove her and the goggles from the ship before it exploded.

I'm in the middle of writing like five different Tech/Wrecker whump fics and even I wouldn't have written CX-2 effectively shooting Wrecker. My heart!!!

I was so worried about Gonky. Glad he's okay.

"Point of No Return" needed 15 more minutes, actually. I continually find it so jarring how quickly this show breezes through reactions. It would've been nice to see at least a little more from the Batch at the sight of their ship being blown up.

That ending...was not for me. Crosshair missing that shot after he was given an entire episode to figure out what was wrong and meditate is such a frustrating choice. What even is going to be the arc here? Is it really going to be him abandoning his weapon entirely? That should be an upswing in the plot, but at this point it'd be more believable for him to be like, "Man, fuck this, I'm over it," lmao.

I'm glad Omega at least chose to get captured. Everyone knows I've been pissed about the anti-heroic messaging of this show from the start, and given how afraid I was that they would just abandon the other clones, I'm very relieved Omega's had this arc of worrying about them. But it's so silly to retread this line of plot after the three kickass episodes covering this exact thing. These next episodes are absolutely about to be messy af, and it's a bummer how it'll take away from the impressive clarity of the first three.

Why does this show keep cutting the titular team off at the knees?? Seems like Omega will probably work with Emerie and Nala Se to contact the Batch and Echo/Rex with the coordinates, but that will mean that Hunter's group will once again be lost and searching in the meantime. And they didn't even get to find her the first time!

Truly the quintessential fandom show. Half of it makes me tear my hair out in frustration and the other half makes me shriek in delight.

[ageless-aislynn]

Aislynn's Jumble of Random Thinky Thoughts on Halo s2 ep4 "Reach"

SPOILERS, but of course

Cpt Admiral Keyes went out like a total badass. I really do hate to lose him but I'm glad he got a better send-off than he did in the game (Halo: Combat Evolved). Seeing him with a pipe was an awesome little callback to the game, IMO. (Though smoking is bad; don't smoke, kids! 👎😬😉)

The fact that The Powers That Be took Silver Team's Mjolnir with them as they ran like cowards evacuated but abandoned actual Silver Team is the most realistic bureaucratic part of the episode. 🙄

I suspected Louis wasn't going to survive but him losing Danilo and then choosing to make that stand immediately after was both heartbreaking but bittersweet: he couldn't live without his beloved and his sacrifice gave John and Riz a chance to escape but also ensured that he didn't have to live long without his beloved. 💔

My Halo vehicle fangirling was cranked up to 117% 😇 here, with me pausing the show to yell, "WRAITH, IT'S A WRAITH! I love hijacking those things!!!" and then "SCORPION! A SCORPION TANK! Aw, man, I do BUSINESS when I have a Scorpion!" *wistful, lovestruck sigh* 💖 Please imagine my dad's 🤔⁉️ face during all of that, lol! 😇

John, my beloved, and Scorpion tank, my beloved... 😍🤷‍♀️😇😉

I was legit upset that Kai was gone the entire ep, not just 'cause I wanted to see her, of course, but because it seems an awful lot like she abandoned her team and that just doesn't seem like her at all. I know last ep she was very torn and upset about John and not really believing what he was saying, but also not wanting to narc him out, either. When she finds out what happened to Vannak, I think she'll blame herself for not being there and, honestly? I think she should. (Same as she should feel bad about not believing John, evidence to the contrary.) Not saying she could've prevented any of the bad stuff, of course, but she wasn't there when Silver Team desperately needed her and if they don't have her feel guilt over that, then that's really going to be OOC for her, IMO. 😔

And then of course, the "two" of the "one-two punch" from this ep... Vannak, nooooooooo! I was completely not expecting to lose him here but I really should have, considering we're straight up doing a version of Reach's game storyline and, as we all know, Noble Team didn't make it out of the game alive (other than Jun).

And yet still... Vannak! Not when he's just learned to love animal documentaries and feeding the birds! The big guy had so much more living to do!!! 😭😭😭 I'm going to really miss him and I'm going to completely ignore his death in any fanfic I ever again write, I'm just saying. 🤷‍♀️😉

Are we feeling like Soren will be getting a place on Silver Team, at least temporarily?

Okay, so I was a little surprised but in a good way over how hard everything about Keyes hit Halsey. She was genuinely kinda tongue-tied at seeing him, then her absolutely screaming at his death and her sobbing... I wasn't expecting that sort of reaction. She really did love him and I wouldn't have thought that before this episode.

I feel vaguely like John's ex just kidnapped his current girlfriend, lol. Also, I keep staring at Makee, thinking, "Is her hair a different blonde? Is she dying her eyebrows or something?" more than anything else so I really need to get over that, lol! Annnnnd I could kinda ship her with her Arbiter but nobody should be surprised at that 'cause I can ship a character with a mop that has a wig and googly eyes on it if the chemistry feels right to me...

I could also see not-Thel!Arbiter as being a suuuuper jealous boyfriend trying to prove he's better than Makee's ex... *shipper glasses, I has 'em at all times!* 😜😉

Since Makee didn't let her Arbiter (whose name is escaping me at the moment) go ahead and kill John, one wonders if it was because she does still have feelings for him or if she just needs him for some later nefarious purpose. And why does she need Cortana? I'm still wondering if we're going to get some sort of "evil" Cortana ala Halo 5 since her new look reminds me a lot more of her Halo 5 look.

This is a still, not GIF, from Halo s2 Cortana's new look, so you don't wonder why it's not moving. 😉

Halo 5 "evil" Cortana.

And you can see s1 Cortana in the GIF right above all of this.

Annnnd my favorite version of Cortana...

Halo 4 Cortana, whom I imprinted on as my very first Cortana, so this is her definitive look to me, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️😉

And bringing things back to the episode once more, I also had a game fangirling moment when John yelled, "Frag out!" as he lobbed the grenade. My dad soon learned that the marines tend to yell that as they're lobbing frag grenades in the various games, too! 😎

Ooo, and almost forgot John's absolute panic eyes when Keyes called him forward during his inspirational speech, lol. Poor Chief, d'aww! But that was a really great moment to show people that Master Chief isn't a robot, he's a flesh and blood person, and I think that was used to great effect in this moment. 💖

In summary, this episode had me

💖

[tarnishedinquirer]

Roderika and Hewg

I'd seen the larder from the walkway above, but it didn't prepare me for the experience of climbing over these bodies while the troll above dropped fluids on my head. It's good to know I can still be shocked and disgusted, even after all I've seen.

On top of the pile, I found a brooch wrapped in a red handkerchief. It somewhat resembled Roderika's hood, and when I picked it up, I could sense spirits lingering around it. I'm no medium, but my third eye isn't entirely closed. I couldn't make sense of anything they were trying to say, if there was even any sense to make at all. The voice referenced Roderika's line about "Chrysalids," so I think even someone without my skills would see the connection.

I found Roderika where I left he, still lost in her despair. She immediately perked up when I showed it to her though. She stared at it like she was listening, and then she started to cry. That's a good sign. I've been in that pit of despair before, and you don't even feel enough to cry. Still, it's dangerous. Once you start feeling again, you start hurting too. She needed to be around people, so I suggested the Roundtable Hold. They might be weirdos and hazbins, but better than here.

I found her by the fire in Roundtable hold. Glad she took me up on my offer. She still seemed pretty steeped in self-pity, but at least she was looking forward now and trying to figure out what to do next.

Walked in on Master Hewg praying. Someone with more tact would just leave him to it, but inquirers with tact don't get very far.

Your divinity, have mercy, and grant me forgiveness. The road is yet long. A God is not easily felled. But one day, without fail, you will have your wish. So please, grant me forgiveness, Queen Marika..."

So... was the "sheer terror of her" referring to Marika? Could be. It was an easy conclusion to jump to. Maybe too easy. Some gods are feared, some are loved. No reason it can't be both, but his prayer sounded more in the latter camp than the former. Regardless, Marika wanted him to forge a god-slaying weapon? Some sort of divine suicide pact, or is there another God that needs slaying?

It was about then he noticed me. He seemed upset about being caught praying and said he'd be more careful in the future. I didn't press the issue, but while forging my staff, he asked me about Roderika. Said she's a spirit tuner and she reminded him of someone he knew long ago with eyes the same hue.

Cryptic. So now there's up to three women in Hewg's life. Let's make it four.

I went back and forth between the two of them for a while. Neither one seemed to believe that the other one could possibly want anything to do with them, but eventually I got them to talk to each other.

Roderika set up shop across from Hewg and offered to upgrade my spirit summons using the Gloveworts I've been finding in catacombs. They're strange bell-shaped plants, continuing the motif of sound (especially bells) being related to spirits.

It hadn't passed my notice that Roderika abandoned her hood once she set up shop. There's only two places she could have left it.

Tried the shack first, but all she left there was a bouquet of red flowers and a candle. That meant there was only one other option.

I returned to the larder with the "Chrysalids" and sure enough, there was the hood. I was impressed. It wasn't easy to get this deep into the castle, and Roderika did it just to pay tribute to her fellows. She'll be alright, I think.

Sure enough ,the voice had things to say about the hood.

A hooded cloak of vivid crimson. Worn by expatriated royalty. Such cloaks were gifted to those who departed on journeys without specific orders, to faraway lands from which they would never return. In other words, the gift of a cloak made it easier for undesirables to be on their way. Roderika never once saw the guidance of grace.

So she was sent to her death here anyway. Was there some political upheaval? Did she somehow disgrace her family? Or was there just not enough inheritance to go around? That seems the most likely. Make it look like an honor.

Why was Roderika exiled?

What is special about Roderika's eyes? Why can I see spirits too?

Why was Hewg tasked with forging a god-slayer?

Is Marika the one he's afraid of? If not, who?

For that matter, who did he know that was a spirit tuner?

[lunar-years]

I actually think Keeley was so brave for turning down Roy's proposal to get back together , and we don't acknowledge that enough! It's just (to me) very clear both that 1) how Roy ended things hurt her greatly and 2) the love is very much still there!! I also think Keeley maybe had this idea in her head immediately post their breakup that Roy was the wrecking ball who sent this perfect thing they had crashing down in one fell swoop. Of course she had to have known there were growing problems between them for some time, but I do think she (wrongfully) contributed *most* of those issues to him alone while imagining herself as someone fully ready for and capable of maintaining that level of serious relationship (in the sense that like, she'd convinced herself she was entirely prepared to barrel forward towards even greater commitment/an enagement/marriage etc., and Roy was the one who abandoned ship at the last moment.)

By season 3, however, time and distance and her experiences (With Jack and otherwise) have allowed her to gain a new perspective. She's come more into herself and with that, become more attuned to her wants and needs. So she's come to realize that, oh shit, she was actually no more ready than Roy was to move forward with that relationship at that time, and she in fact did contribute to its downfall even if she didn't deal the final blow.

And with all those things noted, I think it takes a lot of inner strength to recognize that even though she still very much loves him and does want to be with him again, she's not ready to jump back in with him and it wouldn't be setting them up for success to do so. Obviously she isn't perfect and there are pretty significant errs along the way (sleeping with him again while not making the terms of the shag explicit from the go being prime example number one), but it does demonstrate increased self awareness to then have her ultimately turn him down, as well as further emphasize why it was so imperative for her to turn him down.

Also, there's something about Roy not being ready when she was so sure she was ready, to by the end of s3 Roy being ready when she isn't, that is so tragic and devastating BUT also indicative of their inner growth. The door is still so very open for a future there between them, but Keeley also knows she needs more time with herself before committing to that future, and that's so brave of her to realize and voice! i wish the show had done a better job of telling that part of her story (and giving roykeeley a chance to have a proper conversation about it) but I'm glad that at least the bones were there for it.

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐇𝐔𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐓𝐋 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟔

Summary: When Y/N needs help on a hunt, she doesn't expect Bobby to send Dean Winchester to her. Now the two must work together to solve the case and Dean has to deal with Y/N's sarcastic and biting personality, that maybe he likes a little too much.

Pairing: Dean × F!Reader

Warnings: none, i think. Just some kissing and a mention of sex

Word count: 1657

Series

"I'll have it engraved on my tombstone" she joked, referring to Dean's words, offering him a hand to hold on to pull himself up. Then she went back to hugging her other arm to her chest.

The leather of her jacket was torn, her shirt was stained with blood and not from the monster she just killed.

"Are you okay?" They they both asked at the same time.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks for asking!" a voice exclaimed from behind them, before either of them had a chance to answer. Michael, now walking towards them, didn't seem to have a single scratch but looked kinda upset.

Dean laughed at the sight of the shocked but visibly pleased to be alive man as he shrugged off the beast's slobber in disgust.

"We'd better bring him home." suggested Dean playing with the dog-like head on the ground, rolling it under the sole of his boot, just as if it was a soccer ball.

They burned the second body too and got in the Impala again, leaving behind the silent lake and the wood where only the sound of nocturnal birds could be heard.

During the journey almost no one spoke, probably too tired to say anything. A song on the radio kept him company on the way.

"There we go." Dean said as he parked and the three got out of the car.

"What will you do now?" Y/N asked Michael.

"What do you mean?" He said frowning, probably wondering what was yet to happen to him after everything he'd been through over the past few days.

"You know, many people become hunters after finding out the existence of the supernatural world." Dean explained.

Michael watched the two as they exchanged a knowing glance and burst out laughing. They were making fun of him.

Michael sighed. "I can't believe it's really all over. Thank you guys." For the first time in days he seemed really calm.

"Don't worry, that's what we do." Dean said before gasping in surprise when the man hugged him. "God, I'm so glad to be alive." He mumbled when Dean patted him on his back, before walking over to Y/N and extending his hand. It was probably some kind of peace sign and maybe he was even trying to apologize for running off and putting everyone in danger.

"Thank you for saving my life." Michael said as she grabbed his hand, shaking it.

"Hey, I almost died to save your ass, you don't even hug me?"

"I don't know if I can, you still scare the shit outta me." He laughed as she pulled his hand towards her and wrapped the man in a quick hug. This time it was the man to be surprised.

"Take care." She added before he walked towards his house and waved at them with his hand when he reached the threshold.

"Aw, you will miss our new little friend, isn't it?" Dean joked as they got back into the car.

“Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes. Dean glanced at her hiding an amused smile. Annoying her would always be his favorite hobby.

"Let's go back to the motel" She murmured, exhausted, leaning her head on the seat and closing her eyes.

Dean and Y/N soon returned to the motel, more tired than ever. The only thing their eyes could see at that moment was the only bed in the center of the room, the one they had slept on for an entire week.

"That's why the dogotter killed those people," Dean thought out loud, as he slipped off his jacket and abandoned it on a chair. "He wanted to protect his.. son. Or daughter maybe. I'm not sure, I paid no attention to their sexual attributes as they tried to eat me alive."

"Very noble for a monster," Y/N joked, sitting down in front of the table in the corner of the room, pulling her emergency kit out of her bag.

"Let me help you." Dean said sitting down next to her. He disinfected the bite on her arm which had now stopped bleeding with hydrogen peroxide and then bandaged the wound. It didn't need stitches and it wasn't too deep, she was lucky.

Dean felt watched as he worked on her arm but never looked up to see if he met the girl's gaze. He decided that he would just enjoy the silence that had fallen between them.

"Thanks," Y/N murmured when he finished.

"Anytime" he replied, glancing at her quickly, starting to get up and then being pushed back down by the girl next to him. Her steady hand was on his shoulder.

"Hey, what-" He didn't have time to finish the sentence as she placed her hands on both side of his face and pushed him into a kiss.

Dean really wanted to say "finally" but it would have meant breaking away from her lips, so for once he stayed quiet as he entered his tongue into her mouth and pushed her against the mattress, causing her to end up with her back completely pressed on the bed.

"Dean," she said after a while, probably breaking the kiss when her lungs needed air.

"What?" he asked without moving away from her.

"You smell like shit," she said with a laugh, her lips slightly redder than usual.

"Oh c'mon, do you always have to ruin the best moments?" He said pressing his lips against hers one last time.

"Go to take a shower, I won't sleep next to you if you smell like that." She said as she indicated the door with a nod of her head, then sitting down on the bed to be able to take off her shoes still dirty with damp soil and the creature's blood.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not coming with you. I'm too tired to have sex right now. Now go, I promise not to spy on you through the keyhole."

"There's no keyhole on that door, Y/N," he pointed out, now with a slight smirk on his lips.

"And that's why I won't spy," she smiled even more, leaning back on the bed.

Dean shook his head in resignation, taking his things and disappearing into the next room. It wasn't his lucky day.

After some time, when Dean came out of the bathroom half naked, he expected to hear some ironic comment, instead he found Y/N sleeping with her head buried in the pillow and her mouth slightly open.

He couldn't help but smile as he got under the blanket and pushed her body against his with his arm.

It was a good feeling.

"Goodnight sweetheart." He said, sure he didn't wake her up.

"Goodnight love." She replied instead.

The night passed quickly, or at least that was Dean's impression. He was so tired that sleeping until the sun came up felt like closing his eyes for a few minutes. However, he was sure for the whole time they had slept he had kept Y/N's body pressed against him and every time he moved even a few inches, she sought out his body and repositioned herself close to him.

It was nice to see her like this, to see her trust him and let her guard down.

He hadn't had a single nightmare and he liked to think it was thanks to the girl who had slept curled up next to him.

In the morning, they packed their bags, checked that they hadn't left anything in that room, then closed the door behind them and returned the key to the owner of the motel.

Dean shuffled over to the Impala, one bag slung over his shoulder and the other held tightly in his left hand. He opened the trunk and looked around: it was better to make sure there were no people around before opening it.

He arranged the weapons together with the others, abandoned the second bag and then closed the trunk.

"So what now?" Y/N asked walking up to Dean with her hands in the back pockets of her black jeans.

"Now we go get Sammy. And we'll wait until we find another case to solve together. I'm sure Bobby and Sam have found millions already."

"Together?" she asked with a smirk.

"Of course, do you expect to get rid of me that easily? You kissed me first, now you're stuck with me."

She laughed as she slowly walked up to him. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure you didn't like it at all."

Dean captured her lips in a quick kiss, "Honestly? Not really. But we can try again" he replied before leaning towards her again.

When they finally parted, after a few glares from the people passing by, Dean got into the Impala and she into her old pick-up parked next to Baby.

"I'm sure I could beat you!" She said rolling down the window of her car as Dean did the same, alluding to a race to see who could get to Bobby's house first.

"Beat me? Please." Dean laughed as he turned on the radio, started the engine and drove away.

"Hey! I didn't say "go!" the girl yelled with a laugh as she hurried to catch up with him.

Those two really were a weird couple, maybe that was why they worked so well together.

Tags: @eevvvaa @spn730015 @supernatural111222 @youcancallmelily @clairenovakanddeanwinchester @dads-on-a-hunting-trip @3amstillawake @supernaturalmess @marvelandsupernatural @agirlwatchingalotoftvshows @candy-coated-misery0731 @impalaslytherin @rudy-the-winged-wolf @dean-winchester-6767 @samanddeansannoyingsis @roseblue373 @waynes-multiverse @random-spn-fan @xoxokiaraaxoxo

Series: @stitchintimefan @foxxymunson @sagexcandles @deans-spinster-witch @raisinggray @globetrotter28

[emeritus-fuckers]

I’d like to formally request a young papa Nihil falling head over heels for reader

Bonus points if one of his songs plays in his head and he just associates that song with that person

I am more than happy to write this :D - Nyx

♡ Papa Nihil falling head over heels for reader ♡

Papa Nihil wandered through darkened corridors of the Ministry, it was a bleak time of year. The lights of the winter solstice celebrations had been extinguished and the Ministry lacked a certain something. Then again it had lacked something from the day Sister had left him.

Still tonight would be different, tonight was a party to welcome the new members.

He straightened out the collar of his tailored black shirt then tugged on the sleeve of his leather jacket.

Perfect.

He smiled to himself, tonight he'd finally found some slither of happiness in being single. He'd thrown himself into his role as Papa and the Clergy was in the best state it had ever been. Perhaps Sister would let him sing again!

“You’ve been playing” he sang to an invisible audience as he strutted down the corridor.

A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

“Around with magic that is black” his gaze fell on you.

You smiled at him and he was drawn in, he fell for you faster than the Dark lord fell from Heaven. You were perfect, some enchantress sent to tempt him.

He flashed you his irresistible grin as he sang "But all the powerful magical mysteries never give a single thing back." Solely to you, and you alone.

When he was finished you gave him a round of applause, and he bowed deeply.

"Thank you, Papa." You say with another perfect smile. "I love your songs, I'm happy to hear you still sing them."

"I’m glad you like them." He said lightly. Nihil wanted to add something else but his entire being was entranced by the sight of you, words abandoned him.

You gave him another seductive smile, bowed slightly and taking his silence as a cue to leave, walked off.

He watched you go, the daft grin still plastered across his face. How nice it was to meet someone so genuine as you.

He tried to focus on his duties that evening, he had to make a speech that night. He needed to, at the very least, rehearse it once.

He pulled the paper out of his pocket and stood in front of the mirror practicing each word.

But he couldn't shake the image of you, the way your eyes glimmered in the faint light, the beauty of your smile and the way you just seemed to see him.

This was pointless, he'd just improvise. He shoved it back in his pocket and continued on his way.

He strolled into the main hall at the Ministry, it looked spectacular, the perfect gothic party. The chatter of voices quietened as he made his entrance, everyone did a little bow to their Papa.

He smiled at them all and then the party continued. Some siblings were already dancing together, others talking happily amongst themselves, laughter echoed off the vaulted ceiling. A place where Ghouls lurk in the beams watching the revellers below.

Nihil pressed on through the crowd making polite conversation where he could. But he didn't really hear a word anyone said to him. Could he open his bruised heart up again to someone? It's not like he'd even asked you on a date but he knew where this was going.

Nihil sighed and walked over to the opulent bar, no one stopped him going behind it, who would? He ran his fingers over the tops of the bottles and chewed his bottom lip. Finally, he clasped the top of a bottle of bourbon, pulled it out of the rack with a little flourish and the corners of his mouth tugged up into a smile. He plucked a short glass from above the bar and began his work.

When he was done, he added the final touch a twist of orange peel, the fragrance of it reminding him of his youth. Of days spent studying for Clergy exams in the orange grove at the Ministry, sat back-to-back with his friend.

He looked up from the glass to see you standing across the bar from him, head cocked to the side eyebrow slightly raised. "That looks good, what is it?"

"It's an old fashioned, but I put my own spin on it" His heart actually fluttered, what in the Dark Lord's name was wrong with him? No one has had this effect on him in years, not since Sister. He slide the glass across to you. "Try it, if you want?"

You took a sip considering for a moment. "It's good." then pushed the glass back across the bar. "But Papa what would you make for me?"

Nihil thought carefully his eyes scanning the drinks behind the bar. He was careful, took his time, before coming up with something completely new. "Try this" He past you a martini glass your fingers brushed against his.

Kiss the go goat started playing softly in his mind, that song becoming more and more entwined with you.

***

You tasted it and your eyes lit up, it's perfect. "How did you know?" You stammer, for the first time taken by surprise. You had always assumed Nihil to be some kind of shallow hedonist. Charismatic and charming but nothing more than that. Yet the way he smiled when you took another sip, it was so genuine, so happy.

"I just know." He said with a flirty wink. Okay, there was the man you expected.

"Thank you for the drink, Papa" You give a polite nod.

"Wait, would you like to dance with me?" Nihil stepped out from behind the bar and offered you his hand. That look again...

You pause but then accepted lacing your fingers with his.

His skin was soft and warm. He walked you towards the dance floor before releasing your hand and starting to move to the music. You already missed his touch. Nihil kept a respectful distance, but his dance moves, were just... the movement of his hips was almost hypnotic.

You found yourself drawn to him, like someone ready to fall from grace into sin and lust. You took a step towards him and he closed the space further. Your bodies separated by only a thin slice of air, it was harder to breath, was he teasing you?

"I need a break" You blurt out suddenly aware of the pain in your feet, the burn in your legs.

Nihil nods and leads you to the side of the dance floor where you both settle on a large sofa.

You found yourself settling into an easy conversation with him. It was surprising just how much you both had in common.

As he talked you started to really look at him, the strong defined jaw, the way his shoulder length hair swept over his handsome features. He was even better looking close up than he'd appeared on stage and those eyes, his dazzling blue eyes.

"Babe?" he asked waiting for you to reply.

"Sorry, what?" You shook your head, trying to clear it.

"Do you want to meet tomorrow?" He took your hand and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of it. His touch was light but sent a shiver down your spine.

"Sure, why not." You said with a slightly tipsy smile and then jumped up. "One more dance"

You pulled him to his feet and he stumbled slightly with a giggle.

This time you danced closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

He snaked his arms around you and pulled you close to him, this time your bodies were pressed together. You could hardly think straight, it was utterly intoxicating the feel of him against you. As you let you gaze drift higher you met his eyes, they were filled with such a look of desire, you gasped. You could smell the incense on him, it lingered on his hair from all those days spent in the chapel giving dark mess. Such a heady smell you lost yourself in him further.

You danced like this, utterly unaware of your surroundings. He pressed his lips to yours and you could taste the whiskey he'd been drinking, the smokiness of it. You deepen the kiss with a soft sigh as his hands drop to your waist. It's utterly addictive, you don't think you can stop yourself and then you realise... it's gone so quiet.

He broke away with one last soft kiss. He looked just as entranced, just gazing at you. Then he looked around to see the black candles on the tables being extinguished by Ghouls.

***

He walked you back to your room, you tried to hide it but the shoes you were wearing were too uncomfortable for your already sore feet. You winced and he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

You were about to admit that you didn’t think you could walk another step, when he swept you up in his arms and carried you bridal style the rest of the way. You smiled to yourself, and let your head rest against his chest.

He carefully put you down outside your room. Your heart sank, you didn’t want him to go. You considered inviting him in, but your mind was foggy from the late night and alcohol.

He gave you a deep bow and kissed the back of your hand. "Until tomorrow"

With that he left you, stood there barely able to catch your breath, what the fuck had just happened. You had said to your friends you would never be so foolish as to get swept up by Nihil, but here you were utterly under his spell.

What you didn’t expect was for him to glance back over his shoulder as he walked off, he saw you still looking and that genuine smile returned to his lips. Perhaps Nihil was falling just as hard as you.

~

written by Nyx

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @callmeicaro @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @ouijaboardemo

[iapislazuli]

hii I've followed your wc ramblings on Twitter for a while, and I have a burning question that's been bothering me. So, when Pinestar abandoned his clan, Sunstar only gets 8 lives. Makes sense. Brambleclaw steps down and leader and squirrelstar presumably gets 9 lives? Why? Is it because bramble is a special boy? Is it because he didn't leave the clan? I need to know what you think on this topic. Thank you for your time I love your content.

Hi thank you im glad you like my WC ramblings! I really like picking apart and analyzing the story, its quite fun :)

anyways i do have some thoughts on this! Leader lives and all that. A quick disclaimer is the leader lives thing is frustratingly inconsistent, so i'm theorizing on a bunch of wet spaghetti, bear with me X)

i put this under a cut cause it got so freaking long sooo text wall warning!

First of all we don't really know Squirrelstar's lives situation, nor do we know exactly how many lives Bramble had left when he abdicated, so it's hard to say exactly what the deal is there. Bramble has one confirmed death, but leaders have hid losing their lives before, such as Bluestar, who kept three of her deaths secret due to thistleclaw's ambition. Also, we dont know if the lives are tied to the body or spirit... it's possible ashfur lost some of brambleclaw's lives while posessing his body, and hid it. HOWEVER, for the sake of simplicity here i will be assuming that squilf was granted a full nine lives. (will explain why later)

BUT small tangent.. we really don't know the exact lives situation of Brambleclaw and Squirrelstar!

And... the same could go for Pinestar and Sunstar. Sunstar says he recieved eight lives, but... he blew through them FAST. Who's to say StarClan even gave him any extra lives? we never see any of his extra deaths, only that he lost his final life to dogs after being weakened by illness. (note that it says "weakened" by illness, but doesn't specify he lost any lives to it specifically)

However, if sunstar got no lives, but squirrelstar did, whats the difference? and also, what about nightstar, and tigerstar II, where do they fit into this?

My headcanon is when it comes to these unusual succession situations, it depends on both the former leader AND starclan.

For example, with Brokenstar - He was deposed against his will, and starclan didn't take his lives, therefore Nightstar got none, and Nightstar's successor Tigerstar I got lives presumably because Brokenstar was dead by that time

Pinestar - He left willingly, but had no extra lives for StarClan to take, and he was acting in direct defiance of starclan too

Rowanstar - He left willingly, with an unknown number of lives left. Wether or not he was acting against starclan isn't entirely clear... it's not like pinestar where he disobeyed a direct order. his situation is very strange.

Bramblestar - he left willingly, and starclan approved of his decision

So based on these HIGHLY INCONSISTENT occurrences, ive deduced a few rules ...

In order for a new leader to receive any lives at all, the previous leader must have willingly given up their position and/or their lives, because only one extra-lives cat can exist for each clan. (dying the final time fulfills this automatically, since giving their lives for their clan is an agreement condition to the position of leader. Starclan cannot strip lives from an unwilling leader.

Abdication must be approved by starclan. In Rowanstar and Brambleclaw's cases, they were abdicating primarily for the purpose of bettering their clans, passing them on to a more fit leader. Thus, next leader granted all nine lives

If abdication is NOT approved by starclan, then starclan gets petty and enacts divine punishment. For example, Pinestar's primary motive for abdication was so he could disobey the orders they were giving to kill his son. While he was becoming unfit to lead, he was abdicating mostly out of self-preservation.

so anyways ... to my next point. Brokenstar and Pinestar, though in very different ways, were both defying Starclan's will. (Brokenstar by ultrakilling his dad, Pinestar by deciding they should improve society somewhat). Both their successors, Nightstar and Sunstar, didnt get the full 9 lives. Which, following those rules i made up, means neither of them met the conditions for proper leadership. In Nightstar's case, Brokenstar had remaining lives, but was unwillingly deposed and therefore would not give his lives up. In Pinestar's case, he only had one life left, and chose to live it as a kittypet.

So, id say in the case of lives weirdness, either the former leader is being a little bitch or starclan is being a little bitch. Starclan couldn't give nightstar lives because Brokenstar was like "nuh uh", and for sunstar it was starclan themself going "nuh uh" because pinestar pissed them off. i think they were specifically so mad about pinestar because no other cat has just... hit the bricks like him LMFAOO he really was like "ok.. bye". big slap in the face for all powerful god cats. he left and took the last life and they couldnt do anything about it, besides punish sunstar, warning the other thunderclan cats to fall in line.

But anyways circling back to bramble and squilf!

in brambles case, though there was an element of self preservation to his decision, his main motivation was because he and squilf agreed she would make a stronger leader, and thunderclan was suffering with his wishy-washy shell of a man schtick that he'd been stuck in since TBC. Additionally, with code changes, its pretty clear starclan has become more lenient in recent books. Squirrelflight also is making a selfless decision by stepping up to leadership after everything shes been through.

So in a nutshell i think its because starclan approved of brambleclaw's abdication, since both he and squilf were selflessly motivated, (and also asked starclan for approval GHFDGFKS) while they did NOT approve of Pinestar going ok byeeeee <3

(i also just really like the theory of sunstar not getting any lives ok)

also, i know theres weirdness with wind runner vs tigerheart getting revived and the number of lives they got I SIMPLY WILL IGNORE IT FOR NOW TILL I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET IT TO FIT IN TO THIS IDEA ......

anyways this got super long and rambly sorry its not too organized LOL warrior cats lore y u so messy....

[chthonic-cassandra]

Reflecting on my year of reading, and on my resolutions about it at the end of last year.

This wasn't the best reading year for me, which I also said at the end of last year.

What did go well, which was also one of my intentions at the end of last year, was my rereading. I did a lot more of it in 2023 and and it was one of my great joys through the year. I'll maybe write separately about some rereading experiences that were particularly wonderful, but I am so very glad I did so much of it. I want to continue that.

Where I didn't do so well was with being more selective with my to-read list. Proportionally few of the books I read for the first time this year really felt like they moved or changed me, felt like they allowed me to truly discover something or have an experience that was new to me. Some did, and I want to reflect on some of those later and give them due credit. But it wasn't as high a proportion as I would like. This was also true in 2022.

I also read significantly fewer books in 2023 than is typical for me. It looks to be around ~250, which I know seems like a lot by most standards, but since I tend to average closer to 350, it's a significant difference. The last times I read this few books in a year were 2013 & 2014, both of which were years when I was also reading a ton of ancient Greek, which I was definitely not this year. I'm not entirely sure what happened there. I was very stressed and busy for a lot of the year, but I am often stressed and busy so that can't account for all of it. I know that there have quite a few times this year when I got bogged in a book that I really wasn't getting much out of it but somehow couldn't bring myself to abandon, and I think that's part of it. I would really like to feel more able to just not finish books when that happens.

The numbers obviously don't matter and I never have numerical reading goals, but combined with what feels like a lack of...intellectual stimulation in my non-reread reading, maybe? I think it reflects something. I don't actually care how many books I am reading, but I do want to prioritize this part of myself and feel like I am getting things out of my reading.

I want to prioritize actually making it to the academic library to which I can have access, which was an intention I set for 2023 and was too busy to follow through on. I want to get back to reading more theory/criticism, and more works in translation.

Or maybe I just keep rereading. That would be good too.

[perfectiondarl1n]

headcanon of Julius with a FtM trans Bf thats a witch?

oh yay, Julius HC ask right away!! 🖤 Julius is my favorite 🖤 alright,

Julius with a trans boyfriend who is a witch:

Julius didn't bat an eye when you told him that you are trans.

"I like men and youre a man, simple as that."

a warm feeling spreads through your heart and you smile at his response. You know all the horrible deeds your demon boyfriend commits, and at times, even feel badly that you chose to be with someone capable of such awful. Things like this, his unwavering acceptance of you, act as the reminders why you love Julius so much.

When you tell Julius you're a witch, thats when there is a big reaction. his ears perk up. Julius looks at you in fascination, sets down his thread and needle to give you full attention.

You're taken by surprise to see him abandoning his work, he never does that.

"tell me, y/n, tell me everything now!!" Julius demands, smiling almost like an eager child with sparking curiosity in his light blue eyes.

Butterflies fill your stomach. You can't help but blush. Julius chosing to abandon his work in order to give you his undivided attention is the highest compliment.

The way Julius is looking at you has you flustered. Now you aren't quite sure where to begin, and fumble for words.

Julius stands up and takes your hand, leading you to the couch. As you walk, you can't help but once again notice how much your boyfriend towers over you, and everyone else. You love it, it makes you feel safe. Julius is dangerous but not towards you - he'll be dangerous to anyone who tries to bring you harm.

Even though you can protect yourself very well as a witch, Julius is still going to be over the top protective of you. It's part of the package deal that's dating Julius. You think it's sweet.

Julius sits on the couch, and you go to sit down next to him, only to find yourself being picked up and gently dropped into his lap. His muscular arms wrap around you,

"Y/N, I said tell me everything - you know I'm not a patient man~" the last part is playful, not threatening.

You nod and begin to tell Julius about your roots as a witch and all about the times when you were still learning to perform magic.

Julius is listening intently the entire time but he does often interrupt, blurting out a question or a compliment.

You answer all the questions and blush at the compliments, thanking him.

The two of you are up nearly all night talking. It warms your soul to see Julius so invested and interested about such an important part of yourself.

"I'm so glad you told me, my darling. I feel closer than ever to you now." He tells you

"You do? Why?"

"Yes, because now I know that neither of us are exactly human, are we?" He winks and kisses your cheek. "How about tomorrow, you show me some of your magic?"

You blush a bit and you nod, but ask him "why not today?"

"Because today, maybe I want to keep you preoccupied with something else, my beautiful witch~"

Your blush darkens as your lips meet each others. Julius was right, you think as the two of you are kissing, it really does feel like the two of you are now closer than ever before.

Hope this was okay!! 🖤 feel free to send more requests (especially more about Julius 👀)! 🖤🖤

[lololollywrites]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @discordantwords!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 10 as of now (7 for Sherlock and 3 for Harry Potter, though the HP fics were either begun or completed in 2012 (first posted on ff.net)... in other words, before I knew about JK's raging transphobia. I finally finished a HP WIP in 2020 that I had abandoned years ago, after my resulting disillusionment, because I decided that my work didn't deserve to be in vain. I'm so glad I did!

2. What's your total A03 word count? 168,333

3. What fandoms do you write for? On AO3, just BBC Sherlock and HP, though I have Smallville, Supernatural, and even a Gilmore Girls fic on my ff.net account (the earliest of them written in 2006) that I will NOT be linking here. 😂

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? (Since I've only been posting Sherlock fics on AO3 since September 2021, there's not a ton of variation between these):

The Waning of Withdrawal

Of Sweat, Sociopathy, Scars, and Secrets

Never Been Better

Pressure Points

Genius is a Star Whose Light (is Soon to Sink in Endless Night); I think I may change the title soon since it's so unwieldy)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! Mainly because I love when authors reply to mine - it acknowledges my gratitude and can open a line of communication. Plus, I just get so excited by every single comment notification that I need to squee and send hearts to the sender.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None of my Sherlock fics have angsty endings, though that was my original goal for Never Been Better. It originally ended with Chapter 1, but I added two more chapters upon popular demand to fix things. :) It's a classic Sherlock-leaves-John's-wedding-early fic, so I'd intended to explore what may have happened within canon as sort of a missing scene/character exploration. Ultimately, however, I decided to throw a bone to poor Sherlock and disregard canon events.

However, my Harry Potter fic The Burn of the Phoenix, which I migrated to AO3 in 2020 after it's huge reception on ff.net back in 2012 (it's a 13k-word oneshot with 273 reviews and 951 favorites, though I'd definitely not write it the same way today), is definitely angsty. The end is hopeful, but ultimately... I killed Harry Potter. So. 😂 The ending, as it doesn't miraculously entail Harry coming back to life, can certainly be considered angsty as well. The entire fic is from Dudley's perspective as he learns of Harry's death (an alternate version of canon) and attends his funeral.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? As described above, all of my fics have happy endings! Though I'd say the one that's most unabashedly happy with minimal lingering pain and turmoil is Cold Inside. Genius comes close, but Sherlock is horrifically injured even despite happy news that comes in the last chapter so there's still an uphill battle ahead.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, though I did get a very direct comment on The Waning of Withdrawal - the first time I ever wrote smut - that said the following (the "At all" was particularly harsh):

"I loved the fic and the way you formed everything with the comforting,and the understanding,the guilt and stuff and angst in the main part of the fic but I'm not a huge fan of how much detail went into their love part and stuff.. Not saying it's bad! I'm sure some people absolutely love it but I'm personally not a huge fan of the sex scene. At all."

(Luckily, two other commenters jumped in to my defense!) It seems innocuous enough, but I'd included an A/N that said it was my first time writing a love scene, despite it being brief, so "please go easy on me". The rating and tags were appropriate, too, so it seemed a bit out of the blue. That one little comment knocked my confidence for a while and made it impossible for me to re-read the fic without cringing.

9. Do you write smut? Just two of my Sherlock fics so far are rated E for smut. The Waning of Withdrawal, as described above, and Cold Inside, which has a lengthy sex scene in Chapter 4. It was so much harder than I thought to write - there's nothing quite like meticulously editing writing comprised of graphic depictions of anal sex, haha.

10. Do you write crossovers? No, nor do I usually enjoy them. I really admire the creativity, but tend to prefer fics that are plausible and in-canon; it's just a preference (with exceptions, of course!) That being said, crossovers that could happen between comparable universes - such as Sherlock and Hannibal - really appeal to me in theory.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I'd be so thrilled!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, nor do I have a beta. I'm sure it could improve my work, but I feel horrifically self conscious during any editing process that involves another person. It's something I need to work on!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Sherlock & John and Arthur & Merlin are pretty neck-in-neck. I don't have many Merlin bookmarks, as it was my prior obsession before Sherlock, but I've been delving more into the Merlin fandom lately. Writing for it just seems harder for me - accounting for historical accuracy (though the show isn't historically accurate at all, it's just an entirely different universe) and the bounds of Merlin's magic would be tricky. Maybe one day.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? HAHAHAHAHA so... I did use to write more than one fic at once, waaaay back in the day, but have long since learned my lesson. I refuse to have true WIPs anymore - I only develop one idea at a time - and don't even publish a story until it's complete or almost complete (and fully outlined). Why? Well, there's one WIP I will NEVER finish. It's a Supernatural fic on ff.net with 6 chapters (out of a planned minimum of 10), first published in March of 2007 and last updated in February of 2008. Ooops.

It most recently received a review in 2015, which reads as follows: "WOW! ...update any time soon?...PLEASE...k"

Yeah. So. Never again for me.

16. What are your writing strengths? Based on the comments I receive, I think my strengths are characterization and dialogue. Oddly enough, these are two of my insecurities, but I think that my hyperfixation on both (knowing that I need to consciously work on them) has led to vast improvement.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I often have a difficult time coming up with the initial premise, and am not nearly as creative as many of the writers out there I admire. Ideas usually come without me trying - such as late at night or in the shower - so I jot them down whenever that happens. That's all that seems to work for me. FTH was great in that it took a bit of the burden off and allowed me to elicit prompts from bidders instead.

I also struggle to weave incredibly complex stories. I don't think I'll ever be one of those writers who can write 100k-plus fics full of twists and turns. My plots tend to be more narrow, focused, and immediate.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? As cool as this is - and I may be able to do this with Spanish, as it was my university minor - I wouldn't want dialogue to read as clunky or unnatural to a native speaker or to impede the flow of the prose (I'd want to add translations when possible in parentheses so as not to discourage readers who are not bilingual, unless the dialogue is short and can be translated in an end note).

In Genius, I have excerpts here and there in Serbian, but I ultimately use English to express longer Serbian dialogue (between <brackets> rather than "quotation marks" to indicate the difference in language being spoken and with the acknowledgement that translations are never 1-1. For me, this also helped preserve Sherlock's personality and ensure it could shine through.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Smallville! Way back in 2006. It was terrible; I killed Clark in an alternate version of S5's Hidden. I'm not sure what used to be the appeal of character death to me. You'd never catch me writing it now.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? It's hard to choose, but I have two answers for different reasons. The fic I'm most proud of writing is Genius. I worked SO, SO hard on the story outline, plot, and the symbolism and clues thrown in throughout. It's my longest and most complex story so far at 51K words, too.

The story I believe to be my best is Never Been Better; specifically, its first chapter. I don't think I've since written a more in-character version of Sherlock or a starker portrayal of his emotions.

I also have a huge soft spot for my Harry Potter fic The Truth at Last, which is the first fic I ever posted to AO3. It marks a huge improvement in my writing from when I first started it in 2012, as I was able to return to it in 2019/20 with a more mature perspective.

I'll tag anyone who hasn't yet been tagged and would like to join! (Sorry for the lack of creativity there - I'm always afraid I'll forget someone).

[hasufin]

Consigned to memory

You know, it's kind of wild what's been, and lost, online.

And yes, I know about The Internet Archive. It's a wonderful tool and I'm glad it exists. But it's not, you know, complete. It's a privately funded effort by some very dedicated people, but it's not a complete snapshot of any particular point in our cultural history.

So once in a while I think about resources I once had, or just random things I wonder about.

I recall walking by where someone had painted "Cheetah Corner" with a URL in San Francisco. It was just a webcam looking out a window on that intersection, with a big statue of a cheetah in the foreground. No idea what happened to that.

For a long time there was just this one Japanese-English translator online. It wasn't smart the way they are now, but you could put in a word and it would find you a variety of words with a little bit of context as to what each one meant, because there are no direct translations.

I recall entire webcomics just gone - abandoned by their creators, unindexed and unavailable.

I remember End of Innocence and Project Rose Signet, fan works to make English-language transcriptions of the anime Shoujo Kakumei Utena.

And, hell, just try to find HamsterDamned, or even the original Hamster Dance.

Now, most of these things were running on some university's server, or just in a static IP provided to a dorm room. So I get why they're gone. But it feels like nothing really replaced them. TPTB figured out how to commercialize the web, which was the goal, you know? To get everyone to embrace the new technology. But they didn't join us, they colonized, and now there just doesn't seem to be a space for these quirky little labors of love anymore. If it can't sell banner ads, it doesn't exist.

So now I'm thinking about how I'm never going to listen to that unhinged audioplay someone made in '99 which I never got around to downloading, and it's surely on someone's computer but it's not online anymore, and all we have left are Tiktoks which end up deleted because they're interesting but never cross the line into sufficiently profitable to become a business.

[hunter-sylvester]

Hi! I’m the anon who wrote the ask about Hunter’s parental issues and about his attachment to Kevin. Thank you for answering my asks, I absolutely love the way you write and how you explain everything! You’re extremely talented!🫶

I honestly didn’t notice how in love Hunter was with Kevin until I watched the movie a second time. It’s crazy how you can literally see all feeling in Hunter’s eyes when he looks at Kevin. I also loved how you said that their relationship fits a BDSM bratting dynamic, because I totally see it.

[and as someone who has ADHD and deals with RSD on a regular, I completely understand him. It sucks.]

Hey 🤘 [prev ask for context] Yeah I obviously couldn’t be 100% sure they were from the same person but it definitely makes the most sense lol

Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoy my rambling thoughts about Hunter as a character <3

If you do like my writing, I’m tempted to sheepishly gesture over to my actual Metal Lords fics over on Ao3 if you haven’t checked them out, even tho it makes me feel like a bit of a dick to do so 😅 (They are mostly locked to registered users, blame AI data scraping. The only Metal Lords fic not locked rn is a tiny ficlet. An Ao3 account is free tho 👀)

In any case, I really appreciate that you pushed me to do a bit of analysis again. Because sometimes I tend to forget that all the stuff that lives in my head as “obvious” isn’t always stuff I’ve said out loud on here lmao

There’s a lot to pull from the film if you’re willing to be a bit mentally ill about it.

And you’re absolutely right about the way he looks at Kevin, I mean, it happened enough for me to make a whole ass gifset of it lmao

Look at him. The boy is smitten. Clueless, of course. But smitten.

Which I credit basically entirely to Adrian Greensmith, as it was a vision he had for the character. I really can’t imagine Hunter having been played by anyone else as he brought so much to the role. (Fun fact, if I remember correctly: Noah Urrea, who plays Clay, originally auditioned for Hunter. No harm but I'm very glad he didn't get that. He makes a good Clay and Hunter just needed to be played by Adrian.)

One of the key things Adrian brought to the role also being, probably accidentally, his anxiety.

"I spent a lot of Metal Lords feeling a bit anxious [...] and in hindsight I wonder if some of that was just a sign that Hunter was quite an anxious character [...] I mean his body's so tense all the time." - Adrian Greensmith.

I shortened that quite a bit so I'm including a slightly longer clip of the interview audio for more context. (I can upload a subtitled video clip if anyone wants that as well as link the video on yt but I'd have to do a bit of a search for that)

Aside: If I had to guess I'd say he's probably referring to Peter Sollett who directed Metal Lords when he mentions a 'Pete'.

And yeah the bratting thing was a little bit of a joke but mostly not a joke. Without going absolutely off the deep end, the mentality behind bratting is something I really see in Hunter.

Evie Lupine has a wonderful video about bratting and why people would be interested in it (and why some people hate it) but a short snippet that always spoke to me from that is the following:

"The motivations behind bratting are pretty varied. I think one of the main ones would be a sense of security and comfort. This is when the acting out is sort of a way to be reassured that even when you, break rules, even when you push at things, the partner that you're with is not going to abandon you." - Evie Lupine

Obviously, with Hunter's fear of abandonment, it's easy to see why this would appeal to him.

He also just...idk he has brat energy - sincerely, a brat.

And Kevin does just play out the counterpart to that. He doesn't always have Hunter under control but he tries to.

And he does mostly act as that safe person to brat against, which again amplifies the impact it has when Hunter starts to think he's actually losing Kevin, destroying that feeling of safety.

Aside: I obviously don't think that these characters, in universe, negotiated for a bratting dynamic. In universe it'd be something that just sort of organically developed within their friendship/relationship. But even more than that it's an archetype of a dynamic that we as the audience can easily read into their interactions if that makes sense.

Can you believe the shit they will accidentally put in movies? lmao

And yeah, I have ADHD as well. And RSD is something that affects me pretty fucking severely. I've only really become more aware of it in the past year or so as my partner has pointed it out more and more.

So it's definitely something that I then noticed more and more in Hunter too.

Obviously this is all just my take on the character, and other people might have totally different interpretations. That's the beauty of art, we all get to find what we need in it and read it in our own ways, influenced by our own life experiences.

Thank you again for asking, Anon 🤘 (if you want to use a nickname or smth to identify that you're the same Anon, let me know. If not, that's totally okay too, but I might not always know it's you)

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.