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cygnetofthesea · 5 years

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Evolution: WA AU

When his girlfriend is diagnosed with a terminal illness, award-winning scientist, Barry Allen fights to find a cure to save her. Little did he know there would be dire consequences. He wasn’t a God, but he would be damned if he let her die. Scientist Barry and Ballerina Iris.

On AO3

For a moment time slowed down and there was only the sound of his heartbeat thumping his ear. His grip on Iris was the only thing that tethered him to reality and kept the panic at bay. There was no time for panic when her life was on the line.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The sound of gunshots whirred through the narrow hallway and Barry pushed Iris ahead of him as they rounded the corner. His pulse thrumming, he blindly shot his gun, the force of the pushback jarring. He was only a scientist and up until two days ago, he'd never even held a gun let alone used one.

But things had gotten out of control and he was left with little option. He'd do anything to keep Iris safe.

And some may argue that was his fatal flaw and why they were here, but if it meant saving Iris and keeping her with him, he'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

You're not a God, Barry.

Her words echoed in times of stress. Every time a serum didn't work, or he hit a roadblock in his research, her words were a whisper in his mind. But they never assuaged him and only drove him to fight for her harder. He may not have been God, but he was a scientist. An award-winning one at that, but what point was it when he couldn't use his expertise for good? For her?

He had to do something. He was going to lose the love of his life and even though she looked as strong and healthy as she could, he could see the signs that she was withering away. It was subtle and only the trained eye would be able to spot the difference and his trained eyes saw it from the beginning.

The doctors said they would try everything they could, but Barry could see it in their eyes. There was little hope she'd make it to the end of the year. But, it' didn’t matter. Everyone could give up on her — hell, even Iris could give up on herself — but he'd be damned before he did. He already lost enough in his life and he refused to let her be one more thing because he knew he wouldn't survive this.

He refused to imagine a future where Iris didn’t exist and in the moments he's witnessed her getting sick over the toilet or falter while practicing her ballet routine, it was a stab in his heart. It was a reminder that even though he didn’t want to face reality, the reality was staring at him in the face.

Those moments lead to sleepless nights in the lab, searching for something--anything.

A breakthrough came about when a dying orangutan sprang to life exactly 14 hours after being injected with Sample 301. Barry spent the next 12 hours checking and rechecking his vitals and sending samples to his trusted colleagues. Jesse Quick and Cisco Ramon knew about Iris and while they repeated her words to him, they continued to aid his quest to find a cure. They were steered by their own love for Iris, but they were scientists at heart too. Finding a cure to a terminal illness would make them a legend in medical history.

Little did they know, someone else had been lurking in the midst, just as intrigued by the possibilities. Just as desperate for a revolutionary scientific discovery.

You're not a God, Barry.

He had plans to wait until he could run a few more trials but then the sight of Iris collapsing on stage made his heart stop in his chest and it was a fear unlike anything he had ever known. Paralyzing, dizzying.

He couldn’t even remember running to the stage. All he knew was one moment she was performing a pirouette and the next her face paled before her body crumpled to the ground. And then she was in his arms. He was frantically calling out for her, the sounds around him fading until there was only a ringing in the air and heavy beat of his heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The ambulance ride was the longest of his life and he fought just to breathe. The EMTs offered a sedative, but all he could focus on was her. The site of the oxygen mask taking over the better part of her beautiful face. Her face that looked so pale and grey, matching the fabric of her dress.

"Iris," he rasped, his hands squeezing hers. Her hand felt so small and frail and he had to work to calm his nerves.

By the time she woke up and the doctor walked into her room, Barry had felt a numbness that came with resolve. It didn't matter what the doctor said at that moment — it was written on her face — and Barry knew what he had to do. Screw waiting for the third trial.

He didn't bother looking at the doctor as she spoke the words that would have cemented his heart if Iris wasn't laying there right beside him. He turned to look at Iris instead, willing her to see the resolve in his eyes, willing her to understand that he would never let anything happen to her.

He watched Iris's eyes fill with tears as the doctor gently informed them that her body was weakening and it may be wise to make arrangements. Barry doesn't acknowledge the doctor and instead squeezes Iris's hand to catch her attention. He feels the burn in his nose but refuses to let her seem him break down.

"It's ok, baby" he whispers. "I'm not letting anything happen to you."

It was later that night when she was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch after he set aside her medicine that he brought the serum to her.

"What is it?" she said, eyeing it warily.

"Ever since we found out the diagnosis, I've been working on something. A cure."

Iris didn't say anything for a long moment, her eyes frozen on the serum. Slowly, she moved to sit up, struggling to steady herself. He gently guided her to sit against the pillows.

"Barry," she finally said, her voice hoarse. "What do you mean a cure?"

Barry got up from his kneeled position and sat beside her. He took her face in his hands and looked in her in the eyes.

"Iris, I'm not ready to lose you. I'll never be." His voice broke just as his heart twisted in his chest. He shows her the serum again. "I've had two successful trial runs, Iris. This serum brought two dying orangutans back to full health. They were infected with the same — "

"Wait, what? Barry, this is what you've been working on all this time? All that you spent at the lab was because of me?"

Barry couldn't read the expression on her face and his stomach was in knots.

"I-I didn't want to tell you what I was doing because I didn't want to get your hopes up. I didn't know if it was possible, but Iris, baby, I'm telling you, this could be something."

Iris looked down at the serum, shaking her head softly. "Honey. You're not a God, Barry. This isn't your responsibility, this isn't your burden to carry--"

"How can you say that Iris?" he burst out. "What do you expect me to do? Just accept the fact that you're-that you're…" He can't let himself think the words, let alone speak them out loud. "No. I can’t and I won't."

When she doesn't say anything, Barry pushed on.

"Please, Iris, please. The doctors aren't…it's not like they offered any solution. This could save you."

"How do you know it'll work on me? What if I get worse?"

"Baby, they're telling us…" he trailed off, choking on the words. With his heart thumping, eyes watering, Barry fights to get the words out. "They're saying that you won't even make it to the end of the month."

He let out a muffled sob as a traitorous tear slid down his eye. Iris cups his cheek, wiping away the tear as she closed her eyes. He could tell the exhaustion was getting to her and soon she would no longer be able to sit up straight.

He leaned in until their foreheads touched. "Please, Iris, please."

It's all he can do. Plead with her, plead to some higher power that she stays with him because existing in a world without her just wasn't an option.

"I need to think about it," she finally whispered.

It wasn't the answer he was looking for, but it had to be enough. For now, at least.

Three days later when Wally brought Iris home after she vomited blood, Iris finally relented. The stricken face on her baby brother's face seemed to have steered her. After their father died two years before, it was just them and Wally had no one else in his life beside his sister.

And Barry. Had she truly been ready to leave him behind? So many unfulfilled dreams stared her in the face every time he looked at her with his soft, sea-green eyes, framed by those lashes she loved so much and made her weak. Lashes that she envisioned on a baby girl or boy.

When she whispered her dreams to him as he helped her change out of her clothes, Barry's heart broke all over again. He didn't think it was possible to feel any more pain, so worn from the heartache, but hearing her fight through labored breaths to tell him of her dreams with him, Barry wanted to crumble in her arms.

But there would be time for them to rest in each other's embrace. For now, he needed to save Iris.

He looked at her in the eyes, asking her one last time if she was sure and when she nodded, he quickly struck her vein with the needle. He watched as the serum dispensed into her vein until the clear tube was empty. He tossed aside the syringe and took her in his arms.

"Iris?"

His voice hushed and shaky, Barry watched as Iris's eyes fluttered closed. He took her in his arms, holding her close as he checked her pulse.

"Iris, open your eyes for me. Just for a little bit, please, look at me."

When she finally opened her eyes, he could see her pupils expand before a ring of light surrounded her iris. And in a blink, it was gone.

"Iris?"

She looked up at him, her head resting against his shoulder. "Barry."

In exactly fourteen hours, he began to see the changes in her. And so did Cisco and Jesse.

"Oh my god, it actually worked," Jesse breathed. "Iris, how do you feel?"

Iris sat upright, looking up at them with an astonished smile. "I-I feel great," she said shrugging. "Strong."

Barry let out a breath, caressing her cheek. "You look great," he said, marveling at her.

The grey, sallow hue that had taken over her skin the last few months were gone and instead, her normal, deep brown skin was back. God, he had missed the sight. She was glowing, glowing in a way that he had never seen before.

For a moment he forgot they had company as he let his hands roam over her skin, still reveling that she was there with him. It was just yesterday she was in her arms, looking like the life was leaving her before his eyes.

She turned to nuzzle against his touch, bringing her own hand to stroke his cheek before letting it get lost in his thick hair. "You brought me back," she whispered.

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, feeling the warmth in his chest spread through his body.

The sound of throat clearing penetrated their bubble and they pulled apart to sheepishly look over at Cisco.

"So, since the preliminary check-ups look all good, I think we can hold off on testing the blood sample," Cisco said with a smile. "I'll just take it to the lab and see what I find."

"Thank you. The both of you."

Jesse smiled. "I'm just happy you're ok, Iris. Now, we'll get out of your hair."

Barry barely waited for them to leave the room before he pulled Iris into tight embrace. He let out a shaky breath before capturing her lips and kissing her with all the pent up passion. It had been a long while since they were able to do more than just a gentle peck as her health dwindled. And watching her wither away before him, his libido was the last thing on his mind.

But having her in his arms and feeling the strength in her body that he hadn't felt in such a long time, he let himself hold her tighter and tighter against him.

"Barry," she said breathlessly, her hands clutching him. "Is this real? Am I really ok?"

He peppers kisses across her face. "I'm going to make sure of it, baby. I'm never letting anything happen to you."

And as he made love to her that night, savoring every touch, every gasp, the heat of their bodies melding against each other over and over again, he vowed that they would have many more nights like this.

Then strange things started happening.

It wasn't long before Barry discovered there was something unusual about Iris's blood. How quickly and abnormally they were replicating. He had been carefully monitoring her vitals and everything was seemingly ok. Until Iris complained of frequent migraines. It was enough to concern Barry, who had been diligently monitoring her vitals, but then the lights started flickering inexplicably every time it got worse.

And then things started moving on their own. Objects would fly across the room and it wasn't long before they realized it was Iris. Somehow, some way, she was able to move things with her mind, whether it was retrieving a mug from the top shelf or turning the hands on the clock.

“Barry, what’s happening to me?” Iris whispered, looking down at her hands.

Barry took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly. He had no idea what was happening to her, but he could see the fear in her watery eyes, feel it in her trembling hands. So, he cleared his throat and softly comforted her.

“It’s ok, Iris, it’s ok. You’re going to be fine, I promise,” he soothed even as his own heart thumped in uncertainty.

“But, what is this? How is this possible?”

“I don’t know, it must be a side effect from the cure. But it’s ok, Iris, you’re safe and we’re going to figure this out.”

He pulled her into his arms, holding her securely as her body quivered.

“Am I dangerous?” she asked softly against his shoulder.

“No.” Sure as he was of anything, Iris was anything but dangerous. “But we can’t tell anyone about this, ok? We have to keep this under the radar until we can figure this out.”

Little did they know someone had been watching them all the while. Eobard Thawne made himself known after Iris miraculously stopped a car from careening into a pair of children riding their bicycles. The coast had been clear as far as they knew and even so, no one could have known that Iris stopped the car with her mind. That it was sheer willpower that kept those kids from being run over as Iris stood on the sidewalk just a few yards away.

But apparently, Thawne had been there and felt the energy radiating from Iris. He visited their home in the hopes of recruiting Barry to work for him so they could study the mutation taking place in Iris's genes. The slow, barely perceptible changes in her DNA that were caused by a serum that no longer existed. Barry didn’t even consider his offer of bringing Iris into Thawne’s lab. There were only two others he trusted to take care of her beside him and Eobard Thawne was not among them. A reputable scientist he may be, but this was Iris’s life and he wasn’t just going to hand her over like a lab rat. He would take care of her himself.

He would never tell Iris, but there was a sickening guilt that was starting to bleed into him. Perhaps, he had spared her from death, but had he forsaken her to a worse fate?

But as he looked at Iris’s healthy face, the hollowness from her eyes gone and replaced with light, he couldn’t regret creating the serum. He would do it all over again just to have her safe in his arms. To touch her, to kiss her soft skin, to hear her gasps as they make love, to feel her on him...and to feel her heart beat healthy and strong against his heart that beat for her.

You're not a God, Barry.

The moment they realized Thawne would stop at nothing to get to Iris and Barry's creation, they destroyed everything before making a run for it. Perhaps it was rash to run from danger, but in a desperate moment in which Iris was almost taken and Barry was almost shot, they didn't take another second to ponder their circumstances.

It was fight or flight and they chose flight until it was safe enough. They had planned to leave in the middle of Iris's dress rehearsal for her show to ward off suspicion, but Thawne had eyes everywhere and now they were here, running for their lives with his men at their heels.

"Barry, we can't run forever," Iris panted as they ran another corner.

She held his hand back before he could move. Barry heaved as he fought to get oxygen into his lungs, holding onto Iris's hand tightly.

"Iris, we can't stop. I am not going to let anything happen to you. "

Another shot fired toward them and his heart leaped in his chest. He tugged on her hand.

"Barry, wait," she said, looking at him with wide eyes. "I can-I can stop them."

She shook her hand out of his grip and stepped back around the corner to face the barrage of bullets. Panic surged through him as he ran to step in front of her.

"Iris, wait!"

But his rush to protect her was all for naught. As though hitting an invisible wall, the bullets stopped mid-air right in front of them before clattering to the ground. Eobard Thawne stood in front of his team, a taser gun in his hand.

"Oh my god," he marveled.

You're not a God, Barry.

He watched as Iris held out her hand, an undeniable energy pulsing from her body to her hand. The walls on either side of them tremored until cracks spread across the once smooth surface. Eobard's eyes widened, backing away.

Iris twisted her hand into a fist, a concentrated look on her face. And with one last tug of her hand as though pulling on an invisible string, the walls came down, crumbling between them until they could no longer see the stricken face of their enemy.

You're not a God, Barry.

But perhaps he had created one. And it was the love of his life.

#Westallen #WA AU #Westallen AU #Westallen Fanfic #WA Fanfiction #HeroSavesPeople #at this point I don't even care about editing #I'm trying to save the frustration that comes with that on my WIP bc I'm beginning to hate it

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

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(yet another) fanfic writer ask game, questions 2, 3, and 9?

good evening!

alrighty, let's see.

2) what fic do i wish i got more response on? praefoco, hands down. quality-wise, it's the best thing i've written for this fandom i'm not in. least amnt of typos, most cohesive, my second susan deep-dive, homicide that i wrote with my sensible head and not with my libido. but praefoco is a susan & max fic, and that's not a particularly popular dynamic in this neck of the woods, so it didn't generate much interest.

3) what's a fic idea that i have that's not written yet? um. a lot. there's a lot of those. so many that tbh i get frustrated bc it interferes with focusing on what i've already started. so, let's pick one of those out, which one...oh, okay, here's a lighthearted one: timeline-what-timeline crossover where billy and max attend the 2019 avt in ck s4. so, front row seats to the karate war, complete with associated witness/commentary. also, each one claims they're there for the other, and didn't actually want to go (they both wanted to go). the way i think abt it, it'd be funny, but idk if anyone else would find it funny. and it doesn't make sense, but. does it have to?

9) my favorite lines/scenes? ooh, okay. uh. the first thing that comes to mind is axe masturbation (axeturbation, if u will) so let's try smth less gory. actually, i'm just gonna go factor out murder entirely.

Susan chews on her lower lip and decides she isn’t interested in impressing anyone today. She isn’t interested in advertising the pleasant respectabilities Neil was so concerned with. She isn’t interested in coordinating her appearance to please him as best as she could, even though the compliments would inevitably sour come stressful evenings and the insults would come back behind closed doors, accompanied by those pinches of her flesh between his fingers. The insults would always come back, no matter how much she exercised, how much makeup she masked her pain and fears beneath.

Susan throws on a faded old tee with bleach stains she usually saves for spring cleaning. She tugs the elastic waistband of a fraying pair of purple sweatpants over her hips, previously reserved for Sunday jogs and housework only. She swipes her makeup bag off the dresser and chucks it at the wall like she had the picture she still hasn’t cleaned up, and something crunches when it hits, perhaps a compact mirror or plastic lipstick tube. Glass crunches too, when the weight of the bag drops upon the bed of shards.

She doesn’t fret about styling her hair, simply throws it up in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. When she leaves the bedroom, Susan kicks the door closed behind her and she doesn’t know what it is, exactly, but. She feels better. She has scrubbed herself clean and relieved herself the superficial priorities of a dead-as-a-doornail husband and she feels good. She really does.

this from cetris paribus. bc this was the scene that kept me from scrapping the fic entirely, which i almost did bc...look, idk what i was smoking when i first posted it, but it looked rly fucking ugly. i have no idea why i ever thought it was acceptable for public consumption, wks later, i shaved off a HUGE chunk of it that i'm...not even sure was supposed to be in there? fml, it'd looked like i frankenstein-ed two pieces of a previous wip, and it...ugh, okay, now i'm rambling, BUT. i liked this more uplifting scene and thought it was worth fixing the rest of the fic around.

#lucdarling #yet another ask game #ty for playing!#susan hargrove

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ciucalata · 5 years

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Oh dear Ciuucalata (I'd like to call you Elena or Ellie but I'm not sure you are comfortable with strangers doing so) won't you divulged the sacred knowledge of how to write a fic and be able to finish it?

Ooh dw i love it when people call me by my name, or ellie, but ciuucalata is okay too i don’t mind!!

Finishing fics is really hard, my dude. And i say this as i look at my 18 wips, some of which will never be finished unfortunately. Maybe I am not the best person to answer this but I will try to help however i can. At least you will learn fron my mistakes and know what not to do lmao

First, i think it’s important to focus on one project at a time. This is mainly my biggest problem, i start a fic and somehow along the way i get an idea for another fic. I start the new fic, then i get a new idea and so on. One project at a time is a totally reachable goal. If you get a new idea, just write down the main things you already have for it so you don’t lose it and you can return to it once your current project is finished. Of course, this depends from one person to another, some people work better when they have more than one work in progress, but I do think it’s important to not have too many. Two of three are an okay number, but more than that can be overwhelming, in my opinion.

Second, try writing the parts you are excited for, whether they are in cronological order or not (or in a different chapter if we’re talking about a multichap). Write down every bit of dialogue or narration or description that come to your mind. Write outlines if that is your thing, write only the dialogue to keep it flowing, write whatever you want first be it the beginning, some random part in the middle or the end. That’s the beauty of writing: it has no set rules and you can do whatever you want. Unfortunately, once you have those parts down, there is still the hard bit where you have to go back and write the in-between parts to connect them. But just keep in mind that once you have those finished, your fic will be ready too. And wow, isn’t that amazing??

Third, if you don’t know how to start it, don’t just stare at the blank document. I know how hella frustrating that can be and trust me, it doesn’t help anyone no matter how hard you glare at it. Instead, before you open the doc, try to imagine the first scene and then translate it into words in your mind. I found that this helps me a lot and once i have the first sentence, or at least a few words in mind for the beginning, the rest just come on their own. I once wrote more than 1k in a sitting like this.

Fourth, I think it’s really important to keep being excited about your wip. Personally, i like talking with my friends about it or share parts with them so they can read it and then we can just start screaming about it (man i love my friends they’re too good for me @friends i love and appreciate u guys thanks for being in my life even if i suck sometimes). If you don’t like sharing your writing before it’s done, then just ask them if they can help you brainstorm for the fic. Two(or more) heads at work are better than one.

Fifth, and the most important i think, don’t beat yourself over the fic if you reach a part that’s blocking you. Accept that sometimes that can happen, no one is a writing machine, and let it be for a while. Maybe try writing a little for another wip if you have more inspiration for it, or just take a break from writing, they’re honestly the best thing ever. It helps a lot, trust me. While writing a lot and being in the zone is an amazing feeling and you wanna keep going no matter what, breaks can be just as great and helpful. Live your life a little, socialize with friends/family, go to a coffeeshop and treat yourself to your favorite thing there bc you deserve it damn it, or read a book. Reading helps you with your writing, too. Whatever you do, enjoy yourself (and yeah, you can keep thinking about your writing if you want, but no negativity here!! I will personally materialize wherever you are and beat that negativity for you with love ofc) and you’ll find that when you go back to writing after the break, however long or short it is, the words come easier or you’ll realize why you couldn’t get past that scene. Oh, and about this, I remember once reading a post here somewhere on tumblr that if you’re stumped with your writing, the problem is 10 sentences before (and damn that’s hella true i can guarantee you that).

Sixth(god this is already so long i’m sorry), don’t be afraid to delete stuff, even if it’s a super long part or something that you really like. Sacrifices must be made so that you can keep moving forward. It’s hard, i know, and it will break your heart a little everytime bc all the words you write are important to you, but you have to kill them(joking just save them in a different doc bc who knows? maybe you’ll need them later or for something else). Sometimes you have to take a step backwards so that you can keep going.

And lastly, but not least, have fun!!!! Write stuff you want to read about, write stuff that only you care about(although the internet is such a big place there will be a lot of people who care about the same stuff you care about), write that au that has been already written for thousand of times (there’s a reason it’s such a popular au after all). Just love what you do and create, and don’t forget to take breaks when you think it’s too much. Also it’s normal to have negative thoughts about your writing, we all have them, just don’t let them control you. Talk to someone about it and you’ll feel a lot better both about yourself and your writing. Oh, and take your time!! We all have different writing speeds (and while comparing yourself with other writers is inevitable, don’t dwell too much on it, you are you, they are they and we’re all just doing our best here) so don’t rush things. The fandom you’re writing for will still be there when you’re done and you’ll still have people who will read your writing.

I’m sure i’ll come up with more stuff after i post this, but it’s already too long so i’ll stop here. I really really hope this helped you in some way, and hey if you need some cheerleading along the way, I’m here for ya 💕

#writing #fanfiction #writing tips #??? i mean kinda lmao #ellie raspunde #anonymous #man i feel like this isn’t helpful at all jeixkwkx #GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FIC THO!!! I’M SURE IT WILL KICK ASS

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maychorian · 5 years

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Hey, so, i hope you're not bothered or annoyed by this, you can really just ignore me if you are... I just wanted to know if you could tell us about the future of yofa, bc I'm a shitty reader and too obsessed by your fic to sit and wait for the next chapter, although you're so amazing and super fast with the uploads. Like, is mcdaniels gonna play a role, or will tim have breakdowns or fights with the others, or anything else that would be okay to share? I'm really sorry for being like this

Ha, you're not annoying. I'm quite pleased to know that I have readers who are impatient for more, truly. The problem is that I don't really have answers for you, because I don't know. I've talked about this on my blog before, but I am very much a seat-of-the-pants kind of writer, or a gardener. I don't make outlines, because it's not fun for me to write like that. When I write a long, detailed outline, I lose all interest in actually writing the story, because it feels like I've already done it. It becomes work instead of play at that point, and fanfiction is very much my playtime.

I like to plant ideas and watch them grow, or dig the story up from the dirt of the subconscious like a big boulder (Stephen King's analogy for how he writes). One of my favorite writing quotes is about how writing a novel is like driving a car at night--you can only see as far as the headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. I believe that's from E.L. Doctorow, and I don't know who that is, but I agree with that philosophy.

This has the downside of me having tons of WIPs that will probably never be finished, at least one in every fandom I've written more than a one-shot for. But the upside is that I have a lot of fun writing, and I go through the same emotional rollercoaster as my readers. I often feel compelled to keep writing because I want to know what happens next, just like you do.

That's also why I don't have an update schedule. That would require me to have, like, a backlog of chapters, or at least some idea of what's happening next. I tend to write a chapter over the course of three or four hours, give it a cursory reading for typos, and post it immediately. I usually only figure out what the next chapter is going to be about after cogitating on the last one I wrote for a few days. Right now, I'm thinking that the next chapter will be about Tim's friends visiting him at the manor, but I need to read more Young Justice before I feel comfortable writing Conner, Bart, and Cassie, so it might be a while before that chapter comes out. Or I could realize that something else needs to happen first, as has happened several times over the course of the story.

I do have...vague ideas about what might be up ahead in the future. Someday. Maybe. These ideas might or might not happen, or they might be in a different form by the time I get to them. I'll put them under a read more, just in case anyone wants to avoid even possible spoilers.

Edit: Frigging heck, tumblr won’t save the read more line. Whatever, if you don’t want to see possible spoilers, hit J on your keyboard now.

As for McDaniels, he will be returning to the story, but I'm not sure when. It might be at the end, as some sort of catharsis for Tim, or it might be in the middle as part of a plot complication. For now he's too much of a useful motivation for Tim to have anxiety and Jason to want to protect him, therefore keeping Jason in the picture when he might otherwise take off. The family and their allies will keep looking for him, and it's going to be a major frustration and source of friction that he's so hard to find. I definitely have a picture in my head of Tim going out in the city for the first time since the incident and thinking he sees McDaniels, then having an anxiety attack that Jason or someone else will have to comfort him through. That idea has been in my head since very early in the writing process, but who knows if it will happen.

Tim having breakdowns? Very probable. Fights? Maybe. Eventually he and Dick do need to work out the hurt between them. But Dick has promised to let Tim take the lead on that, so it will have to be on his terms, and I don't know when Tim will be ready for that conversation.

I have ideas about Damian. I'm thinking that Tim is going to be very bored, waiting for his body to heal enough that he can do things again. He can't even exercise until his ribs and knee heal up some, he can't swim with his casts, he can only type with one finger, and that kind of hurts...all he's going to be able to do for a while is sit around and watch TV or listen to Jason read to him, and that's going to get old, fast. So he might take an interest in Damian. Damian is puzzling, and Tim likes to solve puzzles. It remains to be seen whether or not Damian will appreciate the attention. Probably not.

But Damian's feelings are evolving, too. He hasn't been in prolonged contact with Tim...ever. And he has promised to be civil, as well. It's going to force them to find new ways to communicate, new ways to be around each other. Jason might also be helpful for bridging the gap there, since he spent time with the League and will probably understand Damian in a way no one else does.

Also, bored Tim results in Jason taking him on rides on his motorcycle. Great bonding. Tim likes to go fast.

Once the casts come off and the pins comes out, Tim's hands are going to be very weak and shaky. He's going to need a lot of therapy, and it's going to be frustrating and painful. Also: hand massages help. (Dick is also going to keep treating his back, trying to minimize the scarring from the whip marks. Because it really, really sucks for a teenage kid to have whip scars.) So they're all going to take turns massaging Tim's hands when they get cramped, and it's going to turn out that Damian is the best at it. Damian is going to be territorial about this, because it's something tangible he can do that is visibly helping, and as much of a brat as Damian is, he also has the heroic, helpful impulse as well. Once the dust settles and Damian and Tim are more like friends and brothers than they have been in the past, Damian will be just as protective of Tim as everyone else in this story. That's the end goal I have for them.

One thing that will happen relatively soon is Bruce enacting a Big Comfy Couch Protocol, or BCCP for short, in order to be a better dad to his children, all of whom have trauma of varying levels. When one of the kids is having a bad day, or feeling fragile, or suffering nightmares or flashbacks or what have you, or just needs their dad for whatever reason, all they have to do is tell Bruce that they need to activate BCCP, or BCC Protocol. Bruce will nod seriously, then set aside at least an hour in his schedule. And they will go sit together on a big comfy couch in a quiet room, just the two of them. It might involve cuddling, or talking, or just being together, whatever the kid needs. But it'll be just the two of them, no work, no books or movies, no distractions. Because Bruce needs to be very deliberate about connecting with and being there for his kids, and putting a structured protocol in place to make sure that happens is a very Batman thing to do.

Tim will probably drag Jason along for his BCCP time, because of the bodyguard thing. (And because Jason would never do it for himself, and Tim knows he needs it and is not even a tiny bit above manipulation to get his way or help other people.) Eventually they're all gonna like it, though.

And...that's pretty much it, so far. I think about this story a lot, so new ideas pop up and float away in my head all the time, but they're mostly about what's going to happen or might happen in the next chapter. Like, I imagined the conversation between Jason and Bruce going a bunch of different ways. Once I actually sat down and wrote it, though, it turned out differently than anything I'd come up with in my head before.

And that's why I like writing this way. It's always surprising. I let the characters go, and they do things I don't expect ninety percent of the time.

#askbox #yofa #writing #Anonymous

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