#I'm trying to find joy in life and this is what gave me something fun to do 🥲💖

[cabeswatercowboy]

Happy birthday Jean Moreau!!!

My gf and I made homemade strawberry simple syrup to go with a sparkling limeade for a diabolo-inspired drink--in honor of Jean's bday. 😂💖

(And we had crackers that expired today, so I continued my goof of what I'm calling "Birthday Milk Saga", lmao.)

[tangerinesgirl]

Pull Some Strings

** SPOILERS FOR ABIGAIL (2024) **

Fem!Reader x Frank/Adam Barrett (Abigail)

Word count: 1.1k

Rating: 18+, explicit

Warnings: smut, denied orgasm, GodComplex!Frank, JOI, degradion, Frank swearing a lot (as usual), pet names, vaguely non con if you squint bc mind control

Summary: You've been flirting with Frank the entire evening. He tests his new vampire powers and turns you into his puppet. Things get freaky.

Notes: this seems too good to not have been done before, I did have a search beforehand so I'm sorry if it does exist! We need more Frank smut ASAP! Also, reader has nipple piercings in this and there's use of Y/N.

You jump awake with a burning hot pain in your neck. You reach to touch the wound but you find nothing there. Memories start to play in your mind, how Frank willingly accepted the offer to be turned into a monster, while you sat on the floor helpless. You were heartbroken that he could turn into a traitor like that, after the two of you fighting so hard together, but the other part of you couldn't keep your eyes off him, seeing him covered in blood, moaning as Lambert gave him his new life. You watch in horror as he stakes Lambert through the heart, you try to grab the shelf behind you to get up, but Frank stamps on your arm, breaking it instantly. You scream as he pulls your hair, exposing your neck to him.

Frank whispers in your ear, "I'm going to make you my puppet, and we're going to have a little fun". You whimper as he pecks a little kiss on the side of your mouth, and dives his teeth into your neck. You can feel yourself getting colder, your body twitching as you loose consciousness.

*

"Y/N....you are mine"

The sound of Frank's voice lures you back awake. You're in a bedroom somewhere, but you can tell you're still in this god forsaken house. "Oh good you're awake". You look around the room instinctively trying to find the source of the voice.

"What's going on?"

"Keep up sweetheart, did you not pay attention to what happened to Sammy? Or were you too busy trying to get me to fuck your brains out?"

Your mind jumps back to how you flirted playfully with Frank the whole evening. The car ride where you were zipping your hoodie down to make your breasts pop out. When you brushed past him to open the door. The way you would look at his lips, and chew the bottom of yours every time he gave the crew orders. You found him very attractive, and the dominance was a huge turn on for you.

You sit next to him at the bar in the house, "You know, I'm very much into the hot boss scenario". Your hand brushes against his as you reach for your drink. In a split second, Frank pins your hand to the counter and grabs your neck with the other one, "You're really going to flirt with me when we have bigger fucking problems right now?"

Everyone in the group stares at you as you go bright red from embarrassment. You decide to roll with it, liking how agitated Frank is getting at your advances. Afterall you've nothing to loose, no one will know your true name after this. You moan loudly with a "oh yes, harder daddy". Frank lets you go in disgust. He spits out a "fucking whore" under his breath. You hear him and giggle, "only for you" and blow him a kiss as he walks away.

*

Your mind snaps back to reality. "I know how you like being told what to do, and I'm curious to see if this actually fucking worked first time... So...Frank says, take off your hoodie". You immediately unzip your hoodie without a moment's thought, "What the fuck?"

"Frank says undo your bra". You do as he says, part of you is very much into him finally reciprocating what you've been putting down the whole evening, even in these circumstances.

"Frank says play with your nipples". You moan as you grab your breasts and tug gently on your nipples.

"Wait I can feel something cold...do you have piercings? That's fucking hot... Frank says undo your belt". The belt clinks to the floor, you can somehow tell that Frank is doing the same, wherever he is.

"Frank says undo your buttons". You unzip your jeans, and dip your hand in further, you can feel the wetness growing in your underwear as you try and find some kind of friction.

"Frank says stop. Frank didn't say to do that now, did he?"

You shake your head.

"Use your words"

"No"

"No what?"

"No sir"

"Good girl. Now. Frank says to circle your fucking clit. Slowly"

You moan softly, it's painful for you not to do anything else right now.

"Frank says stop"

The slow orders are making you impatient, you need more of a release, "please".

"Please what?"

"I need more"

"Then you fucking wait"

You can feel Frank playing with his cock, it pains you that you can't see, but you can feel him growing hard, the pre cum on his hands. You can even hear his subtle moans as he palms himself.

"Frank says dip your index finger into your pussy".

You sigh in relief as your hand finally enters you.

"Frank says insert another finger"

You fuck yourself open, Frank can hear the sound of your wetness and swears under his breath.

"You sound fucking soaked, the sound of my voice gets you this wet huh? Now...play with your clit".

You start to do so and Frank laughs, "Frank didn't say "Frank says" now did he?"

You cry out in agitation, "Frank please".

"Nah ah, what do you call me?"

"Sorry, sir"

"That's better baby. Frank says touch your clit"

You can feel yourself getting closer, Frank can too. "I'm going to cum Fr-sir, please can I cum?".

"Frank says stop"

"No!" You whimper as you pull your hands out of you. Denying you of your orgasm makes Frank's come quicker, the power over you as well as being a newly turned vampire makes him feel like a God. He takes off his shirt as he starts to cum on his chest. You can feel the hot liquid on your chest too. Your hands feel around but there's nothing there. You're really pissed off, but still very much aroused. Frank moans as he continues to empty himself on his chest, it seems to last forever. As he finally comes to a stop, he lets out one last big moan. "Do you want to taste?"

Part of you wants to give him the silent treatment for the way he just used you, but you say "yes sir" like the good puppet you are.

Frank takes a finger of his cum off his chest and wipes it on his lips. He licks it up with his tongue. You can feel the taste slowly seeping into your mouth, you bite your lip and swirl your tongue around, lapping up every invisible drop. It's salty, with a hint of iron, but oddly creamy at the same time.

"I think that was a pretty successful test, wouldn't you say, Y/N?"

You finally find your backbone after Frank and his stupid voice turned it into mush, "Fuck you".

"Oh I will, right after I kill me a vampire"

[hgeeky]

My year in books 2024 - book series

Over the year I managed to read 140 books (including audiobooks), not including the 4 I started and still have on the go, and 3 that I started and abandoned.

I read quite a few series, here are some thoughts on those (spoiler free). I'll probably follow up with another post or two for other fiction and non-fiction.

Rivers of London by Ben Aaranovitch

I've now read all 9 of the main novels (although I read the first two in 2023), plus Tales from the Folly and What Abigail Did That Summer, all as audiobooks.

Kobna Hollbrook-Smith is an incredible narrator

I absolutely adore the blend of magic, folklore and police bureaucracy. The acronyms and procedure are set out in a way that feels so true to life - with all the quirks that come with how these things translate into practice. And it makes the magic somehow more believable. Plus the characters are so often charming.

I'm looking forward to working my way through the novellas and graphic novels while I wait for the next instalment.

The Aubreyad/Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brian

I managed all 20 of the completed novels, my first complete circumnavigation (at some point I'll try to get my hands on the unfinished 21st book)

This is very much thanks to @elodieunderglass posting about it here, which encouraged me to seek out the audiobooks (my library has the Ric Jerrom ones)

I had attempted Master & Commander once, many years ago, because a lot of my family like the books. My grandfather especially liked them, and I wish I had known him better (he died in 2000). But I couldn't cope with the naval jargon at the time and gave up.

I did enjoy the film, and I've enjoyed Hornblower on TV and the Sharpe books, so I do generally enjoy that sort of thing and the audiobooks turned out to be perfect for me.

Ric Jerrom does a wonderful job with the characters and I could let a lot of the naval jargon wash over me (occasionally I did look things up to try to get a better handle on things).

Jack and Stephen are now my blorbos for sure.

And I absoutely love how much O'Brian managed to fit into these books - the natural history, the mores of the time, even the politics, as well as the action, adventure and romance.

The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman

I find these books rather moving, as well as fun

The combination works wonderfully for perking me up, helping me embrace life and find the joy in it, and that's always worth something

In fact it's remarkably impressive

The blend of characters is wonderful, the range of perspectives and personalities really helps me look at the world afresh, and not take things for granted so much.

Jackson Brodie by Kate Atkinson

I read the first one in 2023, and 2-5 in 2024

I've long adored Kate Atkinson's books, and I've read at least two of the Jackson Brodie books before (1 and 4) but thought I'd give the whole series a go

Perhaps not entirely as successful as some of her other books, I did still enjoy them all. I think Big Sky (number 5) was my favourite.

Phryne Fisher by Kerry Greenwood

I really enjoyed the TV adaptation a few years ago so I thought I'd give the audiobooks a go when I saw that my library has them

They are light and easy-going, with grate narration by Stephanie Daniel

I read the first one last year, and got through 2-8 this year. I particularly enjoyed 3 (Muder on the Ballarat Train), 4 (Death at Victoria Dock), 5 (The Green Mil Murder) and 8 (Urn Burial). I didn't mind a bit that I could remember some of the plots from the TV show.

The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

I gave Gideon the Ninth a go after seeing a lot of posts about it on here, and finding I could get it through Audible plus (which I get occasionally when I can get a discount)

It was an absolute headfuck of a fever dream for most of it and I loved it

Eventually I used some credits to get Harrow and Nona and loved them too. Harrow was also a headfuck but I think I'd got slightly more into the swing of things for Nona.

I went back to relisten to Gideon to see what I made of it, after having more context and it was good in a different way. I enjoyed having more things make sense and I appreciated many of the characters a lot more.

The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkein

When I found out my library had the audiobooks read by Andy Serkis, I thought it would be rude not to borrow them

I enjoyed The Hobbit the most.

I found Return of the King a bit of a slog. It all felt too ponderous when it was focused on humans, elves or dwarves, but fortunately the hobbits, ents and orcs gave it a lot more life and helped get me through.

Edit: Oops I forgot The World of the White Rat!

World of the White Rat - T Kingfisher

I didn't start at the beginning and I've not read everything

I gave the books a go thanks to Audible Plus and now I'm in love with them

Swordheart is my favourite, I've now listened to it twice

I've also covered the first 3 Saint of Steel books and have number 4 ready and waiting

I've also listened to quite a few other T Kingfisher books which aren't in the same world (or at least, not obviously) and loved those too - more on those in a separate post (if I manage it)

[pumpkinbxtch]

:D omg, you are going to make me addicted to apolo, the man cries out to be loved, a request for the favor of our dear apolo (in devinart there was a farm where the reader dated leo but he cheated on her with calypso, then the He realizes that he made the worst mistake of his life, seeing that because of calypso he was attracted but he loved the reader)How does Leo react when he discovers that his ex-girlfriend, whom he still loves, is now Apollo's partner(fiancee) pleeeees

i'm a loser.・゜-: ✧ :-

leo valdez x fem!reader x apollo

summary: Leo realizes that he messed it up a little... well no, he totally screwed up. And now he's going for you, he's going to tell you that he loves you, that you should be together for the rest of your lifes oooh, wait. Are you married with Apollo? THE GOD APOLLO? warnings: THIS IS SO LONG, HAHA but another one? mmm nope, i don't think so. a/n: yeaaaah, the concept you gave me is so hilarious, i love it. Leo is literally my boyfriend but making him suffer makes me laugh, it's like YES DAMN CRY FOR ME, but whatever. i was even inspired by that song by my beloved Beatles. i hope you like it.

w/c: 2.617 (the longest I've done so far, followed by "lovelorn")

Apollo wanted to laugh, he really wanted to, but he had learned not to make fun of other people's shit, but damn, could you blame him? He definitely never thought that Leo Valdez was an opponent for him, don't get him wrong, he was saying it because he likes him. (really) and helped him during his mission, but there, standing from his palace on Olympus, he could see everything, including if someone was threatening against you, his wife.

Flames rose as Leo threw the map into the air in fury, totally frustrated in Festus. He couldn't find you, in fact, Apollo kept wondering how he was tracking you, but he didn't seem to want to answer that question. No, or he would end his patience, yes, he had appreciation for the Son of Hephaestus, but when they messed with you, he would lose his mind immediately, or worse, try to get into their relationship? He would be in charge of throwing Leo from the Mount Olympus.

Of course, he wasn't afraid, much less jealous, but he knew what the relationship with Leo had meant to you. You were totally in love, even Apollo knows that you would have married him if only Leo hadn't screwed things up, and boy did he do it big.

He mean, cheating on you with the now ex-sorceress Calypso? Oh, man. Who the fuck would cheat on you? Hmm, yes, Leo Valdez.

The main doors of the palace opened and Apollo dissolved the image. Some murmurs were heard, followed by footsteps heading towards the main throne room, it was definitely you.

— Apollo?—  He heard the doors opening, and he stood in front of the fire, he didn't want to lie to you, but he couldn't interfere either, he knew that would make you upset. The footsteps approached and he felt you take his arm. — Apollo!— 

He looked at you and feigned surprise. He raised both hands in welcome and cradled your face with them before giving you a chaste kiss on the lips. — My beautiful wife.

You closed your eyes when his lips touched yours, and you smiled tenderly.

— Dear husband — You said in a soft mocking tone. You used to do it when Apollo couldn't help but sound so… posh. But to tell the truth, he filled you with joy.

He ran his fingers over your forehead, removing some baby hairs, and made a golden wreath of laurels appear on the crown of your head. He always spent his time adorning you and making you feel loved, you loved him.

Then, Apollo forced himself to blow out the bubble.

— Do you want something, dear?

— I know we're on… — your cheeks turned pink — the honeymoon, but I need to go to Camp Jupiter.

Your pleading eyes, damn, not even Zeus would dare say no to you. Then, he realized what was happening. Apollo tried to hide the realization from himself, but that name began to swirl in his mind; The Fates. Those antiques would hear about him.

—The honeymoon is an old concept, with traditions that we really don't take so… literally anymore —Apollo said as he gently ran his fingers over your blushing cheeks. —So, you know you can come and go whenever you want. I'm not like my uncle Hades.

The blonde giggled, and you poked his arm, making him jump.

— Apollo!

— My love!

You looked at him with a frown, and he smiled even more, trying to push aside all those thoughts where you could get hurt.

It was a fact, you were going to meet Leo at Camp Jupiter, and he wouldn't be able to do anything.

He caressed your face once more and turned, walking to the large window of the great room.

You felt bad leaving him alone, you didn't want to leave him like that, but you were in the last semesters of your degree. Yes, you were on vacation, but you had to leave some paperwork behind.

— I won't take a second.

Apollo let out a short laugh, full of knowledge. He knew it would take you at least a day and a half to get back to him. He turned to you and walked slowly.

—Just come back to me, dear.

Your eyes shone, and you walked the distance he needed to close the distance between you. You took his hands and kissed his knuckles.

— Always.

He turned his hands so that he was the one holding yours now and made a wedding ring appear on your ring finger. When you looked at the diamond, you raised your eyebrow and your look became amused.

—Do you mark your territory?

Apollo smiled and kissed your forehead.

— In case some fool hasn't heard the great news that I am your husband.

The fool was Leo, yes. Apollo said it for him, if not, for who else?

Your husband had done you a favor and made you appear right at the entrance to Camp Jupiter, advantages of a god making you his wife. When the campers guarding the doors saw you, they immediately opened it for you.

You excused yourself and made your way towards New Rome, in fact, you hesitated whether to go there first or go say hello or… If you would meet them anyway near the university.

You walked to the limit.

You loved New Rome, it was definitely home to you, at least when you had to stay on campus during the semester. But to live the rest of your life there would also have been pleasant, although Mount Olympus wasn't bad.

You made your way and some looked at you. So, you quickened your pace, you didn't like to attract a lot of attention like that.

You moved quickly towards the university and found the campus. Blessed be the gods.

You clutched the papers to your chest and walked.

— HEY!

You turned around slowly, not really wanting any questions. But you turned completely around when you saw Frank holding hands with Hazel, trying to reach you.

— GUYS!

They both caught up to you and smiled hungrily. They wanted to hug you, but they backed out at the last moment, which made you frown.

— What was that?

Frank started babbling and Hazel laughed nervously.

—Can we hug you?

You laughed and threw yourself at both of them, so you hugged at the same time. — You fools, I'm the same as always. Just how married and that's it.

Frank denied. — WITH APOLLO

Hazel punched him in the belly, making him double over. The three of you laughed, and then she looked at you nervously.

—Have you seen anyone else? —She asked. You denied.

— I figured Percy and Annabeth would be in New York for the holidays. Nico and Will, Camp Half-Blood, Jason finishing his accounting for the new altars. Piper, in Oklahoma… — You made loops with your hand and thought if you had forgotten someone.

Hazel looked at Frank, and he encouraged her to say whatever had them both acting that way.

Hazel sighed.

—Leo arrived in the morning.

Your expression did not change at all, a reaction that your friends had not expected.

— AND?

Frank scratched the back of his neck nervously. — He is actually searching for you.

Then your eyebrows raised, showing your confusion.

— what? — You snorted. You looked for any sign that it was a joke, but there was none. — So? Do I owe him money?

Hazel laughed nervously and shook her head.

— I think he's looking for you because he wants to fix things with you.

— He's desperate —  Frank agreed.

You laughed sarcastically.

—But he knows that I'm already married, right?

— Apparently… no one told him.

— What? — You asked again, raising your voice a little more. Both exchanged nervous glances. You mean, how far is Indianapolis? — Wait, he was with Calypso, he literally cheated on me with her because he said she was the love of his life.

The two of them raised their shoulders and you scoffed.

—Anyway, I'll leave these documents and go off to enjoy what's left of the vacation. Apollo waits for me. Will you accompany me?

Damn, the three of you were about to enter when you heard someone call your name, then Hazel's and finally Frank's, he was definitely the one who turned around, consequently forcing you and Hazel to do the same.

What your eyes saw were priceless. It was Leo running across campus with half his shirt burned and a desperate expression. Your heart raced, and your feet wanted to run away, instead, you stayed still and speechless.

—You are seeing the same thing, right?

Your friends nodded.

—He wasn't like this when we last saw him— Hazel said, forcing a smile and shaking her hand at Leo.

Leo had stopped at Camp Jupiter for supplies, also to check that you weren't there, and you definitely weren't there when he arrived, but rumors spread fast. You wondered if your ex-boyfriend had heard about why everyone was whispering about your arrival, but it seemed like not, or at least he seemed to ignore it.

And so it was.

Fate, the planets, and the stars aligned to ensure that Leo was ignorant about it, so that you would be the one to deal the final blow.

Things with Calypso didn't work out, why? Leo couldn't get you off his mind. Oh, what had he done? He literally cried like a baby when he realized he still loved you. He loved you, you loved him, so as always, he had to screw up.

Leo ran harder; He was taller, a little stockier, and his curls were fluffier than ever. Everything you used to worship was probably just a shadow of its former self. You weren't saying that he was bad, but you definitely no longer felt anything for him, although you couldn't help but feel a tug in your tummy full of melancholy, pain, and anger.

You had already forgiven him, but his recklessness made you want to kill him.

With little breath, Leo crouched down in front of you, grabbing his knees and looking for air.

You took a step back, your face dripping with confusion.

Hazel and Frank looked at him disapprovingly.

—I've been looking for you—he finally said.

— That's what I heard.

Leo stood up and wanted to hug you. To your surprise, you didn't stop him. You missed your friend Leo Valdez. Not your cheating ex-boyfriend, Leo Valdez.

Frank and Hazel screamed and became nervous.

—I've missed you.— He said, breathing softly, taking in pinches of your scent.

Your heart clenched and you forced yourself to smile.

—Me too, Leo.

That gave him courage. He broke the hug and gently took you by the arms.

— I was wrong… — His brown eyes projected remorse and sorrow. — I was seriously wrong, I shouldn't have…

The son of Hephaestus took a deep breath.

— I betrayed your trust. I put your love aside to think that my place was with someone else, but what a jerk… My place has always been with you. You are the one I love the most. Please forgive me …

Those words, as you would have liked to hear them so long ago, but now they were slipping over you, completely meaningless.

—Leo…

— Please! Give me another chance.

His plea resonated, drawing the attention of some residents. They took it as just a student love situation until they saw you. Oh shit, weren't you the wife of the great Apollo?

— Leo, you see… No. We can't have another chance.

Leo's heart beat so fast that he felt like it would jump out of his heart. He held you a little tighter and leaned down.

He was going to kiss you.

— No! — Hazel gasped and Frank hid behind her.

People around the campus seemed on the edge of their seats, they even plead the gods for Apollo didn't appear out of nowhere and incinerate them all. The god was definitely struggling to control his breathing from the palace. Where did his Yoga classes go? Someone meditate with him, please! He wanted to hang Leo.

You put a hand on Leo's lips, and he felt something cold. You slowly pushed him away with a frown on your face.

— I said no.

You turned your hand and revealed the glow of the diamond to his view. The Sun made it look ethereal because, well, it was.

Leo's soul fell at his feet, and he shook his head in confusion.

—I don't… I don't understand.

— I'm married, Leo. I married someone. Did you think I would be heartbroken since you 

cheated on me with Calypso? That I will wait for you? — You snorted and pushed him gently.

— But with who?! Who the fuck-

You put your hand over his mouth again and shook your head.

—Don't do that.— You sighed brokenly and tried to do it delicately. If you named Apollo, everything could go to Tartarus. —He considers you for helping him during his mission as a mortal.

The gossipers laughed, some adults denied indignantly, and their friends, shit, Frank was almost having a heart attack fearing that Apollo would burn Leo to ashes.

—Apollo? —He said, with even greater confusion.

The god was still clinging to the edge of his throne, expectant.

You looked above and came to the conclusion that he was giving your ex-boyfriend a break. That action fell like a bucket of cold water on the son of Hephaestus.

He walked away from you.

— what?

You turned your gaze and caressed his cheek kindly. — I don't hold a grudge against you, Leo. I loved you so much. But I found someone who did not doubt his love for me and without thinking wanted to grow with me.

The boy shook his head and stumbled as he relented, leaving your hands suspended in the air. A gust of sweet air embraced them in that silent moment.

He let you go and thought he might have you back.

You were his friend, his confidant, and the love of his life, yet he let you go.

He disguised his doubts with bad jokes, dishonest touches, and lies.

How could he have been so stupid?

Haha, there goes the idiot that lost the love of his life to a god.

How could a love like the one you used to possess lose?

Look at me, then, Leo said to himself.

You returned with Apollo and your nerves were overwhelming you. This time you felt so distant to the palace, as if you were not worthy to enter. Still, they received you and welcomed you.

— is in his room.

You thanked and headed to the bedroom. Taking care not to be noisy and watch your steps. 

Being at the foot of the entrance, the door opened and revealed your husband. Smiling?

Apollo opened the door and pulled you into the room. You couldn't help but laugh.

Your clothing magically changed upon entering, your modern clothes replaced by a white robe edged with gold. Your hair now adorned with laurels and golden jewels.

The jingle of jewelry amidst your loved one's laughter seemed like the most exquisite sound to you. He held you in his arms and hid her face in the crook of your neck. 

You stroked his fluffy blonde curls.

— Welcome.

He said, bumping his forehead against yours.

—  Did you miss me?—  You said with humor. Apollo kissed your lips, instantly making you feel disoriented. He traced your cheek, your chin, and your neck. Kissed you behind your ear and hummed.

— I know I told you it would be fine if you went, but gods, how I missed you. Don't leave me the rest of your holidays.

You nodded.

That was your home.

[etheries1015]

Lyney x reader who was never a fan of magic.

"Its...fun. I can see why other people find it so entertaining. I just...do not enjoy being lied to, or deceived. So I try to pick it apart. I'm sorry for taking the fun out of it."

No lies, no tricks, full trust. He tries his best to convince you that magic is just fun , he's always doing the tricks that will ease you into trust. A flower from behind your ear, romantic gestures that make your heart flutter.

He loves when you show up to his shows despite your disposition. Seeing you front row even though knowing you're not as entertained, always makes him smile. You're there for him, supporting him, and so he always makes sure tl send a wink your way or manage to drop a rainbow rose in your lap when nobody else noticed.

Lyney tries, for the most part, to avoid doing tricks that may make you uncomfortable. Such as popping out of nowhere, or something of yours going missing and he was the culprit, or dissapearing before your eyes (he had done that once, you had panicked.) However magic is apart of his life! Its what brought him joy! You knew this, so you gave an equal amount of work trying to rethink and rewire your brain to come to terms that...magic isn't always just deception.

For him, you're willing to try <3

"And what's this behind your ear, my darling?" He said dramatically, you folding your arms and raising your eyebrows. You let out a slight sigh with a roll of your eyes yet and amused smile upon your lips.

"I wonder what it could possibly be...." You entertained his silly little game. For the nth time he pulled from behind your ear, a...bouquet of flowers?

You stared mildly bewildered. "How did you- huh? How'd you manage to get an entire boquet past me? Where'd you hide it?" Lyney chuckled. He knew you couldn't help picking apart the magic to deduct what had happened, but he ignored your question and simply pushed the boquet into your arms and pulled you into a hasty kiss.

"Come now my dear, the mystery is apart of the beauty! Now, Im going to do another magic trick- close your eyes and by the time I count to ten-"

"Lyney..."

He grabbed hold of both of your hands, pressing his forehead against your own

"And by the time I count to ten, we shall be at a wonderful restaurant for a beautiful date! Do you trust me?" He asked, with a twinge of insecurity causing his voice to tremble at the question. You didnt miss a beat before closing your eyes and nodding.

"Of course I trust you. Blow my socks off, mr. Magician."

<3

[queenofthearchipelago]

Hey! I just saw your post about some meta doing good but then misunderstanding the characters at some point. If you do not mind sharing, what are certain misconceptions that you usually see and don’t agree with?

Hi! I don't mind sharing but before I answer this I wanna say that I do love that this fandom has so many interpretations of Aziraphale and Crowley's actions and thoughts and motivations. I think some of those interpretations don't always line up with everything we see of them in the show and I feel that both of them have areas where they can be misunderstood. But if anyone reading this finds themselves disagreeing with me, that you do see some of what I'm about to say in their characters, I'm not trying to take your version of Crowley and Aziraphale away from you and like, ruin that fun by saying people are wrong, or something. Fandom becomes really stiff when the culture only has one idea of who the characters are.

That said, I'll start with Crowley because I've always found him most relatable, and so I think about his character more than Aziraphale's.

The first thing is Crowley's temper. I've read quite a few metas talking about how Crowley needs to better manage his anger because it shuts Aziraphale down and makes it harder for him to talk. I don't see this. I mean, yes, Crowley has a temper. Crowley has been shown to be angry. But I've not seen it shut Aziraphale down. When Aziraphale gets nervous around an angered Crowley, it's always because Crowley has said something blasphemous. Such as at the bandstand when Crowley is cursing the Great Plan. Aziraphale becomes scared FOR Crowley and Crowley is never angry AT Aziraphale. I can't think of a scene off the top of my head where anything Crowley does makes Aziraphale feel like he can't say something he clearly wants to say.

But also, I feel that this take of Crowley's character, that he struggles with his temper around Aziraphale, somehow erases how gentle he really is with Aziraphale. He's always so patient with him, even when it would make sense for him to be off the rails angry. And also also, the two main times we see Crowley lose his temper around Aziraphale (the bandstand and then the fight in episode 1 of this season) are both times of great desperation. The world was ENDING. He was SCARED (He's really good at hiding how scared he is). And then Gabriel shows up and Crowley doesn't know how but he feels this will disrupt every single good thing in his life. And so he explodes in the street, something we don't have reason to think Aziraphale saw. Crowley literally left to go cool down. I think he did his best.

I also see a lot of metas speak to Crowley's apparent lack of self-worth. I've spoken about this before, I think Crowley is very confident in who he is. I think he knows himself better than Aziraphale knows himself. Crowley has ALWAYS known who he is, his arc is not one of self-discovery. It's actually Crowley's dedication to being himself despite what Hell would have him be that causes him conflict and intrigues Aziraphale so much.

That also leads into this idea that Crowley can't see himself clearly and therefore can't accept Aziraphale's love. As if he can't comprehend why Aziraphale might love him. But, we literally watch as Crowley graciously accepts every advance that Aziraphale makes. Crowley is the one who "goes too fast" and he probably has a lot of joy every time Aziraphale makes another step forward. It's Aziraphale who said, "Let's go out for lunch" the first time. It's Aziraphale who invited a demon into the bookshop meant to be an embassy for Heaven. It's Aziraphale who said "our car", and then Crowley gave him the keys. Crowley even blatantly says, "We've spent our entire existence pretending that we're not." This implies that he KNOWS. He knows Aziraphale has been pretending too, for 6,000 years, and before that too. Crowley knows he's loved, the problem was that he wasn't allowed to be loved by an angel, and neither of them ever got to say it out loud.

And then there are other, smaller things I see in metas that I don't generally agree with (though I completely understand how people got there). Which is this idea that Crowley feels rejected by Aziraphale. I mean, yes, but also no. I don't think Crowley got in the car at the end and drove away thinking that Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him. I think he's more angry that every single time Aziraphale falls to Earth, Heaven tugs on this rope around his waist and pulls him back up. I think Crowley understands Aziraphale's dilemma a lot better than we think he does.

And also, more recently I've seen some speculation about how Crowley wanting to run away is somehow a character flaw? Like, I agree with the point that both of them were wrong. Fixing Heaven won't work, so Crowley was right. But also, running away isn't a long term solution for them because they both love Earth too much. But I don't exactly see this as a character flaw? In season 1 when he mentions running away, let me remind you that THE WORLD WAS ENDING. He was desperate and he was scared. And in season 2, it wasn't so much a plea to literally run away into the stars and escape as it was an immortal being saying, "Look, Gabriel and Beelzelbub did it. Wherever they are, they're together, and they're dedicated to being happy together. Can we do that? Can we do that forever? In this bookshop or in the stars (in a cottage in the south downs?) Because I love you and I don't wanna think about belonging to anyone else anymore. WE don't need to belong to anyone else anymore. What do you say?"

And as for Aziraphale, I've said before that I don't think he wants Crowley to be an angel so that he can love him more. Aziraphale loves him as he is. And I think there are more articulate posts out there outlining why. The ask for Crowley to be an angel again has nothing to do with Crowley himself except that Aziraphale thinks Crowley would be safer that way. Aziraphale can fix Heaven FOR Crowley. Crowley's fall was wrong and he can now right that wrong. This happened, tragically, because Aziraphale loves him exactly as he is. And as much as Crowley's heart is broken right now, I don't think he doesn't know that. He knows the love he's had from Aziraphale these millennia was real. He knows it.

This became an essay, maybe one day I'll figure out how to get my points across quickly lol. But yeah, these are just my thoughts about who I understand these characters to be in canon. And I know that even though it's been nearly a month since the season dropped, people are still working through all the details that led up to our favorite angel stepping into an elevator and the demon who loves him more than life driving away alone in silence. I'm honestly still working through it too, there's still so much to think about.

[graysparrowao3]

2024 Writing Year in Review

Thank you @darkurgetrash for the tag! What a nice way to round of the year and usher in creativity for the new one. Some no pressure tags and an open invitation <3 @lizziemajestic @captainsigge @lostinforestbound @velocitross @alpydk

Words posted (on AO3, not including Tumblr posts): 156,191

Words unposted: Between the 4 WIPs ongoing, the total words unposted within drafts currently is 7,903. Huh. Not as much as I'd have guessed. Tragically, it appears I do have to actually write the damn things as they appear to not be writing themselves.

Total word count: 223,513

Fandoms: Baldur’s Gate 3. Specifically Rolan, Cal, & Lia and Rugan/Aradin centered, with a smattering of other people's Tavs/Durges and their love interests.

Highest Kudos: The Night at Last Light Inn, a Rolan/m!Tav one shot.

Highest One-Shot Hits: Also The Night at Last Light Inn lol. People like to see Rolan having a good time. It was also posted at the beginning of the year at a time with more activity in general.

New things I tried: The Rugan/Aradin stuff was genuinely supposed to be a one shot where I tried writing something far more angsty and explicit than I'd ever done before. I really enjoyed it, but did not like leaving angst without exploring the underlying root of destructive and painful behaviors and emotions and finding a way to resolve it. Knowing what I do irl, this tracks. Based on the characters I thought it might not be received well, so I'm very grateful to everyone who gave it a try and saw what I was trying to do with it and gave me the confidence to keep going, including the encouraging feedback from @octoberskiies @threerattsinatrenchcoat @fangbanger3000 @lizziemajestic @vera-king-hrfl

@crowwolf @faerie-with-a-knife @forget-me-maybe @lemonsrosesandlavender @benicemurphy amongst others <3 Without community it wouldn't exist at all.

And now I'm in so deep I can't see the light any more. Hooray!

Fic I spent the most time on: Technically the one that's been sitting unfinished since the start of the year is What if...Everything Went Wrong, but though The Northern Bastards is technically a series, it's been pretty all-consuming my life lately so I think it has to win.

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably Brew, love? It was just an idea that gave me a chuckle so I threw it out quickly, but I still think it's a fun little thing.

Favourite thing I wrote: The first half of the year it was The Elturian Prodigy, which is the Rolan, Cal, & Lia fic in my heart. I took some space from it after disheartening feedback as though I always want to grow this fic stuff is something I do because it brings me joy, so for this present moment it's How To Keep a Man and Lose a Devil, my eternal thanks to @crowwolf for the suggestion to write it, I cannot wait to get the rest of it out it's turned into a real passion project!

Favourite fics I read this year: I tried to fit as many as possible during the recent BG3 fic celebration event all month, (see the BG3KudosCember posts for fics and tags!) and still have so many to read, and even that feels still woefully inadequate. Cannot believe there is so much creativity and fun and talent out there that I took so long to discover.

Writing goals for 2025:

Don't stop. Don't give up.

Get ongoing works as completed as possible.

Have more patience. Slow down and listen when you know it doesn't quite feel as you want it to be.

Believe in yourself. It's not too late.

New works for 2025: I'm hoping no new fandom works until I'm more complete with the ones I have ongoing. We'll see lol.

Thank you for all the amazing, creative experiences, and hope the next year brings what everyone needs from it. Happy new year! 🎉✨

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Not to be sappy on the tumblr dot org, but at the beginning of this year, I literally began to question if I was ever going to really write again. If maybe I just didn't love it anymore and I'd been wrong for years thinking it was something I would do for the rest of my life. That maybe somehow I'd just grown out of it at some point, or I just didn't have enough room in my head for it anymore.

Which is wild because I've been writing stories since I was six or seven. Like they taught Tiny Me how to form sentences in first grade and she took that pencil and ran with it. (My first ever story I remember writing was a Charlotte's Web fix-it fic btw, I'm not joking) But that's how much writing means to me, I'm twenty years into this now. It's been with me all this time, and in January I would've told you I didn't even want to try to write anymore.

It was maybe the most I've ever questioned my own sense of self, because I'd been forcing myself to write for almost four full years at that point and never felt that same sense of joy I used to when writing. I kept hitting my head against a word document trying to remember what I thought was so wonderful about this, and again and again I was disappointed and gave up.

And yet a few months and one (honestly kinda silly) hyperfixation later and I've written around 105-110,000 words just this summer. That's a full-length novel. That's more than I've written in the last four years combined. By a lot.

And the amount of joy it's brought me again? Just to remember what made me love writing in the first place? It's like stumbling over the other half of my personality I've been missing and going- Oh, there you are! Let's go, dude, we've got stuff to do!

All of this rambling to say, if you've lost the spark for that thing that you thought you'd always do forever, even if it takes almost four years like it did with me, give it time and give yourself some grace. Life sucks sometimes, we're all tired, and it takes a period of dormancy for your brain to rest up and recharge.

And then when you do find that weird or silly or angsty or whatever Spark of Inspiration, take that little guy and run with it. Go build it into a bonfire or wherever this metaphor is going. Have fun and revel in the joy of it again. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that you're doing it wrong, it's your bonfire, dude. Toast some marshmallows or something, you deserve it.

[andy-wm]

When Love Reveals Itself

The intersection of public and private in life and art.

A few years ago I watched Her Private Life, a k-drama starring Park Min-young and Kim Jae-wook, both of whom I love seeing on-screen, and ONE (Jung Jae-won) who is adorably cute in this series.

If you haven't seen it, here's a synopsis...

It's ostensibly about an art gallery curator - Doekmi - and her relationship with Ryan, the newly appointed director of the gallery (a position she deserved but of course didn't get). That part of narrative is a highly satisfying but predictable rom-com.

Doekmi is also a secret fangirl, and tries desperately (hilariously) to hide this side of her life, but that doesn't work out. I love the way this is dealt with and the understanding of the complexities of fan culture shown by the writers and cast. It's very relatable.

But maybe most importantly, this was one of the first k-dramas I watched that had an overtly queer narrative strand. I wont spoil anything but Ryan (Kim Jae-wook) is an absolute fucking legend in his efforts to be an LGBTQIA+ ally, even if he gets EVERYTHING wrong.

So how does this relate to our photo of Jimin, knee deep in water and smiling like this?

Episode 5 of Her Private Life has one of the most poignant scenes I've ever watched in a k-drama.

The scene isn't part of a major plot point but there are SPOILERS here.

The scene centres on an unpublished self-portrait taken by (deceased) renowned photographer-Yoon who was famous for his landscape photography. The portrait was his final photograph, taken just before he died.

The portrait was gifted to a reclusive writer who was lifelong friends with photographer-Yoon. He owns the rights to the photo, and he won't release it for publication.

The portrait in question

Deokmi and Ryan are trying to convince the writer to allow the portrait to be displayed in an upcoming exhibition of work by photographer Yoon. The writer adamantly refuses.

Why?

Yoon is looking at someone he loves.

As Deokmi observes, the portrait shows Yoon smiling not at the camera, but at someone in front of the camera.

He is looking at someone he loves.

For the writer, the portrait reveals too much. It exposes photographer-Yoon's feelings for the person in front of the camera, who is of course the writer himself. The writer knew of Yoon's feelings for him but could never acknowledge them while his friend was alive.

Lets go back to the photo of Jimin.

Something that really struck me about this photo of Jimin is the context of it. It was during the LGO MV shooting. He was splashing Jin and laughing, creating a small, happy moment for the music video (for us).

But covid was rife and the world was at a standstill. Jimin was personally and privately devastated during this time*. It was part of the MV brief, I'm sure, to show that you could still find joy in simple things but we know he himself was not happy.

So the happiness we see in those images is not his personal happiness. Even though he does genuinely look like hes having fun, that happiness is manufactured for us.

And then he looks up at the photographer and this we get this poignant, beautiful smile. Open, unguarded, and holding nothing back, his expression is so soft, so genuinely glad to see the person behind the camera.

He is looking at someone he loves and who he knows loves him in return.

"I see you, and everything is better. The sun comes out because you’re here with me," It says.

There's a stillness in this image, as though Jimin -singled out - stopped what he was doing to look back at the photographer, shutting out all the activity surrounding the two of them and stealing a quiet moment with that person.

And that stolen moment would have remained secret and private forever, had the photographer not shared this photo.

But they did.

The photographer gave it to us.

Was this just for aesthetic reasons?

I don't believe so.

Of course, it is a beautiful portrait of Jimin. Aesthetically and emotively it's a striking photograph, but there must me HUNDREDS of beautiful photos of Jimin. The photographer could have chosen ANY of them. But they chose this one.

Now we have this moment on record.

We get to see Jimin feeling this love. We see him the way the photographer sees him. And yes, we know who he is looking at.

We know who was behind the camera.... because the photograher shared this with us too.

Jungkook makes sure we know who took that photograph.

His Private Life becomes Art

In the drama series, the writer relents and takes Doekmi and Ryan upstairs to show them a locked room. It is full of photographs of himself, taken by photographer-Yoon over many years. In all of the pictures, he looks happy. Deokmi describes it as 'a love letter to the writer, from Photographer Yoon'.

The writer admits that he is ashamed that he never acknowledged Yoon's feelings. He didn't dislike them but he didn't have the courage to respond to them, which is why he can't release the portrait now. He can't reveal to the world how Yoon felt, when its too late to tell him that he knew, and that he didn't reject that love.

Ryan looks around at all the photos and says "Did you really ignore his heart? This smile does not look like it. You did not know your own heart, but photographer Yoon could have known it. As a photographer, how could he not notice it. He knew."

Their Private Life becomes public

That photo of Jimin is everywhere. Jungkook made sure of that.

The reticence of the two men in Her Private Life is nowhere to be found here.

Jungkook took this photo of the man he loves and one look at Jimin's face tells us that love is returned.

Just like photographer Yoon, Jungkook saw it and he knew we would all see it too.

But instead of hiding the picture in a locked room for decades, Jungkook published it in the most public forum imaginable. He put it into the music video for Life Goes On.

He consciously chose for us to see that photo.

Don't forget, he was the director of that music video too...

That private stolen moment, full of love and fondness, shows Jimin at his softest and his most vulnerable.

And maybe that's a side of Jimin only Jungkook sees. Maybe Jungkook wants us to know the Jimin HE knows. The open, unguarded Jimin who wears his heart on his sleeve the way Jungkook does. The most authentic, unafraid, beautiful Jimin.

The Jimin he loves the most.

💛💜

°~☆~°

*He told us in his Vlives, he told us in his album, he told us in his interviews. It was a hard, hard time for him.

[funficwriter]

A Wolf and A Snake (Wriothesley x Reader)

Letters' Interlude - 1

A/N: So these aren't official chapters per say, just an extra to the story that explores the yandere dynamic I'm trying to put forth! Also, I love listening to romantic music while writing for this 🩵 Until I finish Chapter 2, enjoy!

Synopsis: Being a noble meant that marriage was a chess game, not an affair of love. Unfortunately for the pristine Balthazar family of Fontaine, Y/N has long been enamored with love and sought it out before their priorities. After her grey, boring time of courtesy and fake niceness, she meets Duke Wriothesley, who makes her yearn for the first time in her life, and it's the same for him. Threatened by the idea of losing this first, it seems they'll stop at very little to be together...

Warnings: Obsessive yandere language, graphic details in Wriothesley's.

Tag: @yue-caelum

From: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine

To: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

Dearest Duke,

I am not quite sure how to begin or structure my thoughts, so I hope you forgive me if this letter turns out messy. It's barely been 24 hours since our fateful meeting and I finally got some privacy. I should interest you in the fact that today's tea is Earl Grey. I'm having it right now, accompanied by a chocolate and strawberry mille-feuille. If you're ever feeling bold, I'd recommend this combination. Quite the contrast on the taste buds.

I realized that even with our cadence and how we enjoyed chatting together, there's still so much to know. How have you been doing? I'm presuming you're at the Fortress. How is life there? How do you spend your days there? Is it a lot of work? You told me a bit of the nurse. Sigewinne, if I recall correctly. Does she have a lot of patients? And what tea do you drink when you're feeling so tired and done with the world? (I'm partly asking this one for myself. Some days are like that.).

Though I must say, since Liffey is a bit far from Romaritime or the Court's region, you must have a good teleportation waypoint. Belleau is far, too, but by Focalors' name it is enjoyable. It's quiet, lush and lovely. The water is so nice to swim in too. I find that regular swimming is one of the most beautiful parts of my day. I might be heading into more dangerous territory saying this, but I believe you'd enjoy it a lot if I took you with me. If you had a day off and I showed you around, we could then swim in one of the lakes. It's so refreshing and fun, and a good break from the city.

Don't get me wrong; I love its bustle and life. But I know when we return, I'm going to have to look over these boring nobles' declarations, and meet with them more often. Speaking of which, I'm sorry to sound so forward, but... Well, are you interested in carrying this further?

I'd like to tell you something about my worldview. As you know, I read a lot, but last night I couldn't get into the 'why' due to mother's timing. As a child, I felt strangely bored with existence, maybe to a worrying point. That would explain my parents' fretting. I liked the dance and violin lessons, but there was something about my books that gave my gray life a bit of color. Unfortunately, having to come back to real life was a painful must. There were times where I thought to myself: "Is this really life? Boring, plain, and feeling wrong for watching everyone's intense reactions while I derived joy from so few things?". I didn't even want to think about my future as I become a woman. This was all before we met.

Ah, Wriothesley! I've been imagining it over and over in my head! I even stood outside in the cold and closed my eyes and pretended you were right next to me... Imagine my pain when I confronted reality, mixed with the excitement I felt remembering you! Even now, I can't stop kicking my feet as I write this. For the very first time, I was proven wrong. I was mistaken about life, and who said mistakes were bad? After years of chasing perfection, believing it was beauty and goodness... Why, I might have committed the most beautiful fault in existence!

Will you please prove me wrong again? I know I might get greedy and stick to my old worldview, just for it to happen again. But I swear, I'll be good and I'll stop. I just want to feel my entire body and soul rattling in excitement once more. And you're the only one that happens with.

Mother and Father are planning another social, soon after we return to the Court's region. My understanding says you're not often social, so if you don't want any part of it (or even, if I'm being too intense), discard this letter. I must go now, but if you're as invested as I, I will be awaiting a response. And if Celestia is kind, I will be open for more. I'll be open for anything if it's with you.

Yours truly,

Lady Y/N Balthazar

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

To: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine

To my cherished Lady,

I would like to start off by expressing my most feverish thanks, for reasons beyond enumeration. You taking the time to send me this lovely letter is the least of them. It is generally good form for a Duke to answer quick when he can, but I was so overjoyed with your letter's contents, I re-read it many times to take in all the joy you graced me with. I was also very touched with your personal confiance in me, so I'm also writing to return the favor.

First off, do you know how much I yearn to hear about your day, down to the little details? You talked a good deal about Belleau. I didn't care much about that region before, but now? All I've been thinking about is those fresh waters and woods you praised so highly. The only imagination I entertained was you, holding my hand, whispering that there were no nosy gossipers or greedy parents. Just the two of us, and the lake was all ours to swim in until we couldn't.

If it makes you laugh, I thought about it so much, I almost mistakenly wrote some prisoners' region tab as Belleau. Had Sigewinne not been near, the administrative mistake would have been a pain to fix. Are you laughing? I hope for it with all my heart.

And I want to know more. I want to know whether Earl Grey is your favorite, or you're only taking it because it's been brewed at that time. I want to know which chocolate you like best. Which books you're currently reading, and why you're so interested in lycanthropes without a hint of discrimination. Will you tell me more? If we get the chance to talk with less barriers, will you enlighten me with you?

After getting to know your old worldview, I question just how alike we are. It's easy for two people to share superficial interests. But when one feels so dissected, so naked knowing about another's deeper life and secrets, you can't help but question whether Celestia really does link souls. Whether you once knew them, or whether fate can be so perfect to send such a person your way. I'm sure you felt terrified writing it. Your mailbox may be private, but who knows when your family feels nosy and reads it? You know of the risks that come with such correspondence, especially as a maiden. Despite that, you didn't throw it into the trash. You wrote it, and sent it to me, letting me know about you. You may have just intoxicated me, and now I feel like I might die if that is all I know of you.

As respect to this, I'll confide in you, only it may be a little graphic. "If you feel queasy after this, feel free to end our correspondence here."... Is what I wish I could say with full honesty, because after that night, I'm not sure whether I can really be okay with that outcome.

I used to commit crime, both petty and serious. Such was the life of an orphan at the time. Being little fish wasn't an option; You had to be the top dog or get eaten alive. I opted for the first, even if it landed me in prison later on. My convictions range quite a bit, but once I grew up, I renounced crime. Even insignificant things. I wanted to leave that behind me.

Forget the obvious stealing sweets from the kitchen. When I saw that slimy Duke Arya talking to you, touching your shoulder, acting as if he always knew you and your wedding was tomorrow, I never felt the urge to murder as much as I did that night. The reasons behind my old violent crimes felt so small next to the ugly sight in front of me. You clearly didn't want him, but he kept going, as if you'd magically change your mind and be into slimeheads like him. How dare he be the reason you were pulled apart from me? Where does he get the gall to take you, act like you're owed to him if your parents decided?

How I wanted to end his pathetic standing, laughing, breathing. How I wanted to use my vision and punch his head out into an ice block, then freezing his wrangling body so he wouldn't mess up the carpet. How I wanted to lunge at him, bite, claw and make a bloody mess out of him. What did it matter if I perpetuated half-wolf stereotypes, when he was doing this? Which would hurt him more? Only one idea stopped me: You might not react to a show of violence so well. Oh, if I traumatized you, I'd never forgive myself. Being sent back to jail would be too light a punishment for a beast like that.

Please don't worry about transport, or ask about my attendance. I'm determined to attend that social. I'm so happy you told me about this in advance; I'm going to be seeing you, in all your radiance and beauty that make the world pale. So long as that happens, all is well for now. In the meantime, I'm adding some final touches to my declaration, and eagerly waiting for our next meeting, and hopefully the time I can freely take you into my arms, kiss you and prove the both of us wrong about everything.

With all the love I can hold,

Duke Wriothesley

[s1ater]

hell v heaven.

pairings. harry bingham x fem!reader

about. reader gets scolded by her friend only for harry to defend her

warnings. swearing

from ricky's mailbox to yours. I don't expect anything from this, I just wanted to post because I miss this damn show

west ham was always ordinarily boring and filled to the brim with people who had their pockets filled with more than enough money to know what to do with.

your life was a repetitive process and ran on a schedule that really never changed unless you chose to eat breakfast for once in your life, which you never really did--or take your mom up on the offer to go on walks—which you also really never did.

the day you got off that bus and found no parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or even siblings was a day you couldn’t help but sigh in relief with finding a loss of obligations and responsibilities. you felt a lift from your shoulders and a greatness fill your chest as you finally let go and fell from your schedule.

but it wasn’t funny and you were no longer having any fun the moment you discovered your situation was permanent and a forest had overgrown all roads and tracks out of this new found nightmare of yours.

“you think god's trying to teach us a lesson?” you looked up from your book seeing your friend maddie who had her lips pressed into a thin line, still trying to figure out this whole predicament.

even as this was a nightmare and you weren’t used to change, you found yourself leaning away from getting caught up in caring so much or getting too emotional about it. you figured you could be in worse situations and at least you were still alive.

“i don’t think it’s that deep,” you mumbled carelessly, flipping the page to your book, not sparing another glance to her till she stands up with a huff and grumble, clenching and unclenching her fists while exiting harry’s living room.

but then she felt herself flipping around, facing you and your slightly confused expression, “what’s your problem?”

you frowned a little deeper as she stood before you with her poised posture, seeming more angered than you had ever seen her, “what?-” you shared a look with harry who seemed just as lost as you did before she cut you off.

“because ever since we discovered we’re trapped here it seems like you couldn’t give a damn and it’s really pissing me off,” she exhaled roughly with her chest puffing in and out with air, like she had been waiting a long time to say this. “you’re not here for anyone and i haven’t heard you cry once either, y/n.”

“you want me.. you want me to cry?” you raised an eyebrow, slightly taken aback.

“yes, y/n, because i’m really close to thinking you’re a sociopath-”

“woah, woah, woah, maddie” harry shook his head with his lips deeply curved downwards, “shut up.”

“don’t tell me to ‘shut up’ harry.”

“don’t be a cunt, maddie,” he scoffs, looking at her as if she were a fool. his stare is harsh and she even slowly begins to feel like one with how hard and taunting his eyes are.

if harry had a skill in something, it'd be his way of looking down on people and making them feel his disgust and repulsion toward them. harry had to be one of the most arrogant people you had met, but at least his arrogance came in handy in situations where you needed defense.

"whatever, harry," she rolls her eyes at him, trying to push off the sickening feeling he pushed on to her. "you two deserve each other, especially if you're both enjoying this little vacation we were gifted."

harry sits in the grey chair maddie previously sat in, "you okay?"

"yeah, I'm good."

“you sure?”

you look up to him, finally meeting his dialed in expression that was genuine and curious to your well being.

strange.

it was things like this that gave you somewhat joy that you no longer had a schedule, that kept you from hating your new reality.

west ham turning upside down revealed a lot about your fellow classmates and even best friend’s character, as seen seconds ago. you couldn’t decipher whether or not you found joy in the fact of that, but right now, with harry sitting across from you and close to reach out to you, was something you knew you enjoyed.

before, in your tight knit schedule, harry didn’t fit in it. he was only a family friend you saw at birthdays and conjoined vacations since the beginning of your memory, but nothing more.

“yeah, i’m sure,” you pressed your lips into a thin line.

“i don’t think she understands people handle grief differently,” he looks sympathetic but drops any attempt to move closer with a reach of comfort upon realization that you were really fine.

“you think i’m in grief?”

he pauses, doesn’t look at you for a minute with silence as he narrows his eyebrows before looking up to meet your eyes, “i mean, aren’t we all?”

aren’t we all?

jesus, maybe you were a sociopath.

“i-uh-“

“y/n,” he stops you, shaking his hand. “when-when my father died, i didn’t think it was real. all these people came up to me, your parents, all would walk up, apologize, offer their condolences, but i never really understood. what was the big deal?—just a death, right?”

he offers an awkward smile with a glance through his eyelashes, before looking back to his carpet, “thing was, i didn’t realize that that death, was my fathers death—i mean i did, my body didn’t. i was in denial.”

silence. you both think about his words.

the way he spoke was really smart--it surprised you that it was him that they were coming from. not only did you start to enjoy his company, but his words...

“i shouldn’t have-“

“no,” you cut him from his potential regret in sharing. you knew that took a lot from him. “maybe you're right… or maybe maddie is. maybe i really am a sociopath.”

"y/n, that's an insane thing to say," he shakes his head, still looking down, but now at his hands as he begins to rub them together. "everyone handles grief differently," he repeats, "especially something like this; especially something that feels nowhere near real."

you stare at harry, blinking, while he stares back at you with a thin-lipped smile. you felt your chest tighten to an extreme as you continued to watch, thinking about his words that tumble around in your head. you somehow couldn't grasp it; the reassurance. but rather... you were more hung up on the matter that it was him saying such kind words to you.

everyone knew harry was the biggest asshole in west ham and he had no shame in it. everyone would call you a liar is you ever exposed the conversation; harry didn't have a nice bone in his body, so how was it that he had just created one of the nicest convos you had ever had with anyone?

your chest pulls into a ball even more. you feel like you can't breathe.

what was happening to you?

you hadn't felt a pang of sadness till now.

"you okay?"

you hate that question.

"yeah, i'm okay."

"you sure?" he's leaning towards you, his eyes prying.

you feel the pressure intensify, but this time around your eyes as if something had the need to be forced out.

fuck, not now.

"y/n, woah," he's quick to come closer to you, now kneeling before you with his hands on your face.

“i shouldn’t be crying-“

he shushes you as he tries his best to clear your face from the salty tears that begin to run down your cheeks like a hill. he smiles lightly to your embarrassment while shaking his head, “crying is fine.”

“i feel bad.”

“for what?”

“harry, i don’t even feel bad about them being gone,” you sniff, wiping your face from the wetness quickly. “i feel bad about you and your father and everything.”

“oh?” he seems caught off guard about this, taking a step back from your distraught stare. “why?”

you stare over at him with wide doe eyes, something that looks like fear for the matter of having to provide an explanation. you glance to the side, also leaning away from him, bracing yourself to answer. you feel even more choked up, like your throat had been clogged and stuffed with toilet paper--or whatever it was to help you not speak.

"my parents-" you sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "god, I hated my parents--so I'm not sorry that I'm not sad about something that is ultimately a blessing... but I am sorry that this has happened to you... all of you."

he stares. he feels as if he's about to explode.

"I'm sorry, harry--that you had to lose your father and your mother as fast as you did," you shake your head, "I'm sorry that you think that that's how I feel about my own parents."

why does he feel like this?

his hand is mid air, reaching to clasp his chest as if consoling his heart, but it doesn't goes as far to make contact.

he feels strange. he doesn't know how to cope with someone he has known for so long revealing what must have been the biggest burden on their shoulders, hidden in plain sight from him, as well as gushing about sympathy for him--he hates that.

as for the other thing; harry had known you since the beginning of time, he knew your parents since the beginning of time. you were both absorbed within the same lifestyle but the two of you were never anything more than acquaintances.

he found it strange that he could see your life so clearly like it was his own, but it seemed that was only the surface of a glass window that only you and your family allowed people to see.

"y/n, you're not a sociopath," he finally says, "sociopaths don't feel sympathy for other people. you're just in a difficult situation that no kid will understand because their parents are their heroes."

he pinches the bridge of his nose, finally looking up to you, "you also shouldn't feel bad for me."

you looked at him confused, urging him to explain.

"none of us are saints, y/n. somehow i think we all deserve this," he runs a hand down the front of his face. "you... you're just somehow better than the rest of us, this is a vacation god has granted you."

you stifle a laugh, shaking your head.

he smiles in return before dropping his face into a softer expression, reaching for your hand, "you good?"

"yeah, i'm good," you nod.

"good," he squeezes your hand. "enjoy heaven while you have it."

[sykestarot]

who are your guides?

1-2-3 (left to right)

I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES

hi guys welcome to this weeks reading! I started this reading last week and the energy just didn't feel right but here it is! I'm working on a website so I can schedule personal readings as well! If anyone has any tips for that I'd love to hear it feel free to dm me :). Anyways I hope you enjoy these messages they were all so very sweet!

Pile 1

“there will be mountains you won't move still, i’ll always be there for you” (The Hermit; queen of wands; 5 of wands reversed; 2 of wands; 6 of cups; knight of pentacles) Hi pile one! For you guys I feel like one of your guides is a familial figure, like a grandparent or maybe someone apart of your chosen family. I feel like you might’ve lost this person pretty recently. For some there is female energy and for others there male energy. I’d say for the female energies this would’ve been a firecracker of a person. They were probably always full of life and adventure and they want to guide you to be in that power as well. For the male energy I feel as though they were steady as a beating drum. A very reliable person in life and probably gave the best advice. This guide is here to help you with staying grounded. For some of you you could have both of them simultaneously, however i feel for most of you you have one or the other. But i must point out that this could’ve been a power couple if they were together in life lol. But I see that those with the feminine energy might be on the shyer side of things, and your guide would love to show you how it feels to fully step into your dark feminine energy. For those with the masculine energy this guide wants to continue to give you advice and wishes you would speak to them more. I also feel like some of you might come from a religious background and maybe feel like believing in guides could insight some shame for you. Your guides want you to know that shaming yourself for a belief will only hinder the progress that you’ve made and don’t be too hard on yourself. I see that these guides have so much unconditional love for you and when you feel most alone I promise you are not. Animal Spirits: Snake + Hawk Signs: canned pumpkin; all spice?; Pocahontas; racoons; pacific northwest; rivers; wood cabins; pine scent; Massachusetts; boats; church; white buildings; cold water; winter; snow; willow trees; vivid dreams; 555

Pile 2

“is there something supernatural fucking with you?” (2 of pentacles; knight of cups; Temperance; 4 of pentacles; 6 of cups; 2 of wands) Hi Pile 2 welcome and thanks for reading! I will say that your guide is a very funny one. I feel like this pile has one pretty good overarching energy. I don’t feel like this is someone you’ve known in this life but maybe a few lifetimes ago. I also feel like you are a very self aware reader or are at least in contact with your guides in some way whether you are conscious of it or not. This guide had lots of fun picking a song, and in turn I feel like was messing around with me. I get the energy of a guide who volunteered to be yours because they loved you so much in the last life. I also feel like you guys go around very uptight and stressed about most things in life, and I feel like their energy is supposed to help you loosen up. Like maybe your lesson in life is to find the joy in being alive instead of being super goal oriented or materially focused. I feel like this is the type of guide where you’d be painting something and then all of the sudden magically all the paint spills, or when you go to get some out you get way too much. Like this guide is trying to really show you that mistakes are just happy accidents. I feel like you guys suffer from catastrophic thinking. It’s like a domino effect for you and sometimes this guide will put things in your way so that you fail and have some realization that it wasn’t the end of the world and that there are other ways to get to the same outcome. I also see that this guide loves see you smile and will give you small rewards in the day. For ecample you might walk home from work and a cute neighborhood cat might say hi to you everyday. Or you get your order payed for by the person in front of you. This guide really does care for you and wants you to know that they’re always there for you and you can relax a bit, not everything is the end of the world. “Please do your breathing exercises!” Animal Spirits: Beaver + Eagle Signs: pranks; giggles; unnatural coincidences; kitties; empty streets; crisp air; chain link fences; playgrounds; small town; ambition; hikes; 11:11; painting; Bob Ross; bird chirps

Pile 3

“if I had the chance to relive those days I’d take it” (4 of swords; The Hanged Man; 2 of pentacles; Temperance; 9 of wands; 2 of swords) Hi pile 3! So for you guys it’s a little different than the other piles, I feel like this might not be a guide but a pet that’s passed on. Whether it was recently or a long time ago I feel like this was a kitty that had some health issues. I feel like you had to make a hard decision on whether or not to put them down and maybe you still carry that guilt with you. This little guy definitely doesn’t want you to hold onto that and they believe that they lived the best life with you truly. You took care of them and loved them so much. I keep hearing you loved me so much you let me go. They don’t harbor any resentment or harsh feelings for you on the other side. I even hear that they’d love to come back and be another pet of yours. Maybe you’re not ready for that just yet and that’s why they haven’t but they want you to know that they forgive you for the choice you made and they understand it. They want you to forgive yourself as well. I keep hearing them say I was really sick. They are so grateful of the life they lived with you truly. I see that maybe you were afraid to talk to them after they crossed the rainbow bridge because you felt like they wouldn’t want to hear from you. Trust me they very much do! They miss you so much and I feel like they always hang around in your energy and they love being close to you. Like I feel like they love to sit on your chest or your back. They never left you, not for a moment. They just want you to feel at peace and be happy. They still keep a very close and watchful eye on you, always wanting to protect you. I don’t know if maybe you’ve been having dreams of them or feeling them where they used to cuddle you. They want you to know that you were the thing that mattered most to them and still are and they hate seeing you continue to carry the weight of that decision after all this time. They think you are the most perfect human. “Please don’t beat yourself up!” Animal Spirits: Dove + Cat Signs: little league; tv static; gamecube; leapfrog; big windows, rays of sunlight; leaves blowing in the wind; green; chemtrails; airplanes; 90’s; reincarnation; green eyes

[merbear25]

Hey! Can I have a Germany x Female!Reader for your Spooky Season Event? :D Set in a carnival with a (mayhaps clown themed or something?) haunting. Maybe a rescue and love confession that's SFW or at most softcore! (I watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space recently and I'm still kind of stuck on it, fun movie!)

Heyy!! I'm glad you sent something in for the event! I hope you like what I came up with 💜🧡

Twists and turns down the wet boardwalk, the smell of rain was still lingering in the air. The swirling patterns of colorful lights illuminated the otherwise dark and foggy night. With laughter and music filling the air, there was no reason for anyone to think that something was lurking in the shadows.

CW: SFW, fem!reader, fluff, early stages of relationship, mentions of survival situations, supernatural

Twisted mirrors (Germany)

With the rain having settled, you leisurely walked down the street. Your arms linked and conversation pleasant: the colorful lights danced on your silhouettes as the carnival welcomed the newly defined couple with upbeat music. Rows of games with empty promises of prizes for the strongest and best shooter led to the various rides. Shrieks of giggling joy brought life to the cold night and the crashing of waves in the distance sprayed the salt from the sea.

Your eyes sparkled when you saw a large teddy bear being teased as a grand prize.

“Step right up and try your best! Let’s find the sharpest shooter this side of town!” The man’s eyes fell on you and as a true salesman, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity. “Prove your skills and win your special lady any prize of her choosing! Only the best of the best can get all five targets.” The extension of his cane made Ludwig’s eyebrow cock.

“Oh, what about that one!” You were overcome with giddiness. That cream colored bear looked like the softest thing you’d ever seen, and knowing that your boyfriend won it for you would make it that much more cherished.

“These games are such a scam.” His pessimism did little to crush your new dream of owning the stuffed animal.

“Eh? Not so sure you can defeat an old man at his own game, huh?” The man poked fun. “Give it a shot!” He laughed at his own joke after gesturing to the BB guns.

When you turned to give him those sad puppy dog eyes, he let out a long sigh before moving towards the booth. “Alright, I’ll get it for you.”

“Shoot all five of the targets in the center and you get that pretty girl of yours any one of those prizes off the top shelf.” A smile that oozed greed spread across his lips as your boyfriend handed him the money.

The thick paper on the first four gave way at the center perfectly, leaving the fifth one to be the deciding factor of whether or not you’d be cuddling up to the plush toy tonight. A sudden shake of the boardwalk caused him to slip and miss the target completely.

“What was that?” Your question came out in a shaky breath.

“What that was was you two not getting that cute bear.”

“Why should that count? That clearly wasn’t anything to do with me!”

“Sorry but those are the rules. You’re more than welcome to pay for another go.” A laugh that was equivalent to nails on a chalkboard got your boyfriend’s blood boiling. You stepped in to reassure him that you didn’t need the bear, and that you ought to just try and enjoy the rest of the evening.

Leaving in a huff, you allowed him to blow off some steam. He didn’t need much to feel better, though: a quick vent, your loving touch, and a soft peck on the cheek was all he needed. Walking to the “Twisting Wonderland of Mirrors”, a low rumble sounded throughout the area.

“Is that thunder?”

“Sounds a bit too high pitched for thunder.”

Not wanting to let something else throw a wrench in your fun, you both walked up and around the black and lime green checkered ramp. It tilted with each step towards the towering entrance—an open mouth of a pale-faced clown with gaudy neon orange hair.

The cavern-like walls of mirrors were lit with dim shades of purple and green. The floors were checkered swirls of lime green fading to white and black the deeper you explored. As you passed each mirror, the funhouse exaggerations got a few laughs out of you, while Ludwig’s demeanor didn’t really falter from mildly amused. However, watching you get a kick out of the silly tricks of the lights and mirrors had him smiling a bit more noticeably.

“Is that a smile I see?” You teased.

“It’s just another trick of the light.” His eyes lingered on your face before he leaned down to kiss you. With such a young relationship, you hadn’t yet said those three words, even though you both felt it strongly.

You stepped forward, letting your fingers trail off his cheek. Admiring the woman in front of him, he hesitated before following behind. There was another shift in the building, making you both lose your footing. When he looked back up, your image appeared to be distorted, blurred even. Reaching out made his heart sink. Thick glass had sealed him off from you. He pounded on the wall, signaling you to turn around, but whereas he had sight of you, you had none. When you turned to face the banging on the walls, you were met with only a reflection of yourself.

Calling out to each other was in vain. Even after being blocked off, other options opened. Taking any chance he could to get to you, each step still felt as if he was being pulled further and further away.

Deeper into the halls of mirrors released a light fog that billowed past your legs. Its chill made you shiver, but with seemingly no way of turning back, you pushed forward. The dimly lit hallways grew darker and the patterns on the floor became more disorienting. Spirals that twisted the very inner workings of your mind worked their way down to your legs. Vertigo set in as the constant changes of your appearance loomed over you and mocked the feeble attempt you were making to escape.

That low rumble returned, rising to a higher pitch as you trudged forward. A barrier against the now ear-piercing screeching was impossible, your hands could only muffle it so much before you cried out in fear. Sinking to the floor, its swirling pattern coiled around you. Black and white snake-like slithers, bolts of lime green surging through the thickening fog, and an abrupt jolt hoisting you into the air.

Flailing limbs that came crashing down on the slick slide to have formed, your nails and feet dragged across the framed mirrors. A searing heat wafted up the corridor and made you wince in pain as it burned your eyes. The smell of sulfur, echoes of sadistic laughter, and the rising heat, all coming to a fever pitch as the mirror below rattled in anticipation. 

Pounding on the walls returned. “Go away!” The moisture in your throat was drying up, leaving your screams to be replaced with hoarse coughs.

A roar sent the mirror beneath you to collapse in on itself. Tornado force winds whipped your hair towards the fiery vortex. Shards of glass from above nearly sliced your skin as you clung to the sides for dear life. You begged for mercy when a pair of hands gripped your arm, thinking that a creature tied to this hellish experience had chosen you for a satisfying meal.

“Grab onto me!”

That familiar voice, your saving grace. Without a second thought, you grabbed a hold of him, scaling the sides as he pulled you out of the pit. The agonizing cries and screams from being robbed of its victim flooded the building. Clanks of metal and shattering glass accompanied them as the roof began shifting downward. 

Through the jagged frame of a recently destroyed mirror was a flickering exit sign—the only risk worth taking. Flinging open the door to the drizzling outside, the newly wet pavement scrapped at your hands and knees. The raging cries of protest were dying down but would ring in your ears and in your dreams for years to come.

“Are you alright?” He asked while checking you thoroughly.

“Yes, but what about you? You’re covered in cuts.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said breathlessly. His hand went up to cup your face. Stroking your soft cheek with his thumb, his gaze flickered to your lips. Maybe it was the adrenaline pumping through your veins, but there was no stopping the collision of your lips.

He pulled you tightly against him in fear of you being taken away from him again. Murmurs of “I love you” were exchanged repeatedly between passionate kisses.

Hand in hand, you journeyed back up the familiar wooden path. A recently packed and colorful carnival was now riddled with nothing but old flyers. The booths that were filled with stuffed prizes were practically all barren, all except for the one with that teddy bear you had your eye on.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he glanced over at you. “I think this is rightfully ours, don’t you?”

You nodded and accepted the gift in a warm embrace. Your heart-felt thank you was more than he could’ve asked for, but those three words you uttered earlier were still the highlight of an otherwise dreadful night.

[cinnamontails-ff]

Writing Interview Tag Game

Thank you so much for the tag @roguishcat ❤ I love getting to chat about these things.

When did you start writing?

I know this sounds cheesy, but the answer is probably as soon as I could hold a pen. My grandma still has stacks of little stories I wrote (and illustrated ...) when I was a kid. Very cute, but I'm glad I gave up on drawing in the meantime.

I've been writing on and off ever since, but it wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that I decided I'd actively pursue a career in writing. I wrote a few original novels, none of which were ever successful in the world of traditional publishing, then got into fanfiction as a way of rekindling my joy. Once I'm done with my current fic, I'm ready to try with traditional publishing again. Maybe it'll work this time, maybe not, but I guess the bottom line is that I'll always write in some capacity.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I really like stories that are a little unsettling. Not horror, per se (I'm a coward), but those underlying creepy vibes, especially when they come wrapped up in beautiful language and actually end up culminating in something cool toward the end of the story. "Uprooted" by Naomi Novik comes to mind, "The Devil and the Dark Water" by Stuart Turton, and "Portrait of the Pale Elf" by @larvasmoon.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Terry Pratchett is the person who first sold me on the English language. Prior to his books, I'd never seen anyone use English in such a fun, cheeky yet poignant way, and it's definitely something I find myself emulating (all while hopefully putting my own spin on it). I have been compared to him a few times and it's always made my day.

Oh, and I guess Stephen Sommers because people compare my fic to "The Mummy" a lot. Which honestly, is just as flattering.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

At my desk, with a mechanical keyboard. Not because I'm a hipster but because I have absolutely destroyed my laptop's keyboard and then the shop where I'd buy the replacement keys stopped selling my model and I refuse to replace the whole laptop.

I need a sense of quiet when I write. Usually, I write early in the morning before I go to work, and it's honestly my favorite time of the day. It's dark and quiet, I'm all alone, and the day still feels so fresh and full of possibility. I cannot write in public; I find it too distracting. Occasionally, when I'm very in the zone, I'll edit at work but it's never quite as productive.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Go and hunt that bitch down. I know many people love romanticizing their craft and if it helps them to light scented candles or play aesthetic playlists - go for it! For me, the most powerful tool is routine. Knowing that every morning I will sit down and I will write, whether I feel like it or not. Sometimes I drag my feet the whole time, sometimes things click into place and suddenly, I'm having the best time ever. But I will always put words on the page and for me, there's no better feeling than having written (past tense).

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

You probably know this, but I really, really love stories where a regular guy/gal saves the day. It makes me so happy to see the evil vampire lord taken out by the mousy accountant, the fountain pen striking harder than the sword. I think it's because I like to read about real people. People that you could have met in real life, that seem simple on the outside, but have all this strength locked up inside. It's why I dislike stories with picture perfect beauty goddesses that always have the perfect quip, always take out their opponents with 1 blow because they're just that special.

Normal people are special, too. You just need to look a little harder to see.

What is your reason for writing?

I believe it was Brandon Sanderson who said "Stories are like real life but with the boring parts removed". That has really resonated with me. I think the beautiful thing about stories is that they can portray very real issues and conflicts in a way that is infinitely more satisfying because it's all been arranged just so. It can give you closure, it can make you see something in an entirely new light without feeling confrontational. It's like a really, really good conversation with the author and I hope that's what my writing feels like as well.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Two things. I love when readers point out specific lines they enjoyed and I love it when they tell me they reread my work. The term "comfort read" makes me particularly happy because that's exactly how I reread my favorite stories as well.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I think the most important part to me is that my stories feel real. I dislike pretentious, over-the-top writing where you can tell the author is trying super hard to sound clever or sexy or just drowns you in heaps of cheap, undeserved drama that never leads anywhere. With my stories, I want things to feel earned. Natural. Maybe you wouldn't have made those choices, but it makes sense that these characters would have and now we're looking at the very real consequences of their actions.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Character voice, specifically in 3rd person limited. My favorite type of narration because I love getting into a character's head and making you see things through their eyes.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think every writer struggles with their confidence here and there. I've gone through so many cycles in the past 1.5 years, it's kind of crazy. Going from constant failure in the world of publishing to writing your very first fanfiction just for fun and then having it blow up out of nowhere, all these people showering you in praise, only for the vast majority of them to disappear immediately afterward is a lot to process. We write for ourselves, yes, but as a writer, you can't help but take reader responses to heart. Fortunately, I've never let it influence what I write or how I write; it really only affects my mental state. I know what I like to read and those are the stories I am going to tell, whether they're successful or not.

Aww, this was fun! Tagging @larvasmoon @davenswitcher @pickel182 @karinamay @pouroverpaloma ❤ ❤ ❤

[twignotstick]

🎄🎁🕯️It's true wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas 🕯️🎁🎄

@languajix @cadoodledoodleydoo @belleyells @justalittleobsessed

(Sentimental rambling + close-ups under the cut!)

What a year it has been.

This year brought a lot of change for me. I discovered a whole new space that I could be creative in, fell deeper into an interest that makes me happy, but most importantly- I made friends who have changed my outlook on life.

To be honest, I am so happy to still be here. This time last year was one of the lowest points of my life for many reasons, and seeing how different my life is now compared to then makes everything worth it. It never would have happened if it weren't for the people around me. I started getting mental help, I began accepting who I am without trying to erase the bad, and I grew relationships that gave me a whole new perspective on what it means to have friends. Specifically, you four!

I could blab for ages about how grateful I am for you guys, but it would never be enough. I made a last second decision to join the @tmnt-fandom-family-reunion, and I never could have guessed it would result in me meeting some of my best friends. 

Obsess, I'll admit that I've spoken to you the least, but your words of encouragement and genuine joy have always brought a smile to my face. I'm excited to get to know you more.

Jix, you were the one who opened your arms and welcomed me in, even recommending my work to your other friends, and I can't imagine where I would be now if we hadn't been in the same cabin. Being able to relate to you when it comes to gender identity has also been massive for me, and I can't thank you enough for feeling safe enough to speak about it with me.

Belle, seeing that you are reading something of mine always fills me with such glee. You are such fun, and I feel happier even just knowing that you're there. I can't wait to make more fun stories for you to read, and see what else you make.

Cadoo, I have to give a special thank you to you. Before I found this little group, I was always terrified that the creative ideas I had were too out there. I was scared that no one would like the stories I had to tell. Just being able to talk to you and bounce ideas off you has helped me not only feel safer in my ideas, but also helped develop some of the best parts of those ideas. The things we've made together and the things you've helped me develop for my own creations are some of my favorite things that I've ever made, and I can't wait to make more magic with you.

That's all. I really can't say enough just how much all of you mean to me. So here's to another year of awkward teenagers, old rodents, cliffhangers, and found families. I love you guys. ❤️🩵🧡💜💚

[youmakethelight]

I actually might delete this blog tbh. Not that anyone asked.

I made this side blog 2 months ago bc I loved season 10 of TWD so much that I got really invested in rewatching the whole series for Carol and Daryl, and I wanted to write my thoughts somewhere instead of continuing to annoy my friends who never watched the show. But all my thoughts then were really positive and fun and brought me joy. And now, ever since I've seen the reality of the turn things took in real life, it's just so depressing.

The way Carol and Melissa McBride are treated makes me feel truly fucking horrible. And I've tried to channel that into activism and using my voice in solidarity, but I'm finding it more and more depressing honestly. Most of the voices that made me feel stronger have disappeared, and I'm starting to feel hopeless. And that's especially when I realise how much shit already went on in the past few years before I was here.

It's been a whirlwind few months for me bc I stopped watching TWD years ago and just caught up and binge watched from season 9. After I finished, I found out about everything the fandom, Melissa, and Angela Kang went through regarding the spin-off. Knowing that even after that, we got Melissa back, gave me hope. But seeing how much AMC has ignored other issues and fans' voices makes me feel disheartened. It feels a bit like I'm exerting emotional energy only to be shouting into a void.

It feels wrong to try to move on and leave because the issues remain, and Melissa McBride, in particular, needs and deserves support. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

A week or so ago, I signed up to a website to write fan reactions, reviews etc. about tboc because I thought that could have some positive impact. So, maybe I'll do that... but to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me anymore. I guess I just feel like I'm doing significantly more emotional labour than will have positive impact.

Even when I try to consume feminist progressive media instead, I just keep being reminded of how shit it is that AMC can't do the same for Melissa and her fans, and anybody who works on or watches the show who isn't a straight cis white man. So, then I get upset by a thought I have and go on here or twitter to try to do something positive about it, but it feels sort of pointless. So, now I'm at a point where this blog doesn't bring me joy, and I don't feel like it helps anyone, so I just don't think it's worth it anymore?

I'm literally so bad at giving up on things, so there's a decent chance I won't leave. But to be honest, I want to. I'm tired.