#I'm totally and completely obsessed with the implications of them giving each other what they didn't have in their own childhood or family

[purplecelestial-buddy]

There's many little details in Harusono's works that tend to take space in my mind (like the background gag of the boys piling up bottles) but one of them is this picture:

There's cake, there's a ton of people and there's someone being thrown???

Idk I just think that they Kagiuras are probably great pary guests.

Full panel for more context:

[storkmuffin]

First of all I need to stress that I'm positively OBSESSED with your meta analysis of both the intricacies of the Kpop industry as a whole and your Ateez essays in particular, it's such a delight to see someone be so passionate and insightful and I cannot stress what it joy it is to witness your thoughts!

Anyhow, I have had a hypothesis for a while now as for why Ateez in particular are so compelling to observe and why I couldn't help but latch onto them instantly and it's that no matter if it's their on-stage persona or their 'behind the camera' bits, they all posses an incredible amount of character.

Now obviously, archetypes and personas aren't anything new (we are taking about the Kpop industry after all) however, there's true artistry in being able to a) both present a range of different personas that compells fans to play around them as they seem fit b) do so in a way that's actively aided by and in direct service to your lore

Now I won't go too much into the lore aspect itself here since I don't know how caught up you are but to give a very in-your-face example: Bouncy Woosan (not that the other pairs are lacking they also synergize well but in my humble opinion they both absolutely steal the show here)

On paper their roles are very clearly defined but whenever I catch myself rewatching the mv in particular, there's just this oozing je-ne sais-quoi of it all that just screams *character* (Wooyoung in particular is guilty of it in that one and I want to bite him SO bad) and them being as expressive and into their roles obviously only helps but my point here is that it's one of my favorite examples of how well they both play off each other but at the same time also just instantly draw the viewer in. We've seen the pitfighter x manager (???) / wagerer before as it's an easy enough story archetype to recognize and it helps the viewer as it directly gives them an easy roadmap to latch onto which is further capitalized on by being given a mini story in a story with San getting to beat his opponent at the end. But that's not all because there's a clear implication in there, one that's made more obvious by the script (allegedly)

Like first of all. Wow. Jesus. Now that's a totally normal thing to define and totally not absolutely PRIME story material a lot of people could latch onto. Also god fucking damn how dare morally twisted Wooyoung be this hot

However, the reason it works is because this is one of the instances where we are directly confronted with one of the main components of characters being *flaws*. Let's be real: real humans are kind of boring to actually conceptualize. Flair and Drama are what's needed but there is only so much you can realistically show people before you are actually involving irl dilemmas. This Wooyoung in particular is kind of nasty in a hot way and has San wrapped around his finger but it's fine since it's fictional! There's no one being harmed technically.

There's however just one problem: Ateez Lore is deliberately crafted in a way that even at its best, it merely gives you crumbs. Delicious crumbs but crumbs nonetheless.

It is, for all intents and purposes, a companion piece.

And this is where the idol personas come in because if San and Wooyoung were complete opposites and would vocally distance themselves from their personas at all times this would fall apart. However not only does their idol persona perfectly play into the narrative (duh) so do the hints of their flaws as human beings—and this, in turn, helps the viewer get a more grounded, more intricate and even more seemingly personal understanding of who Woosan supposedly are. It is, for all intents and purposes, fluff but one of the grounded variety.

However, as is the nature of kpop, the Idol persona is an eternal mask of sorts. Even at their most real and removed from the lore and dystopian governments, Woosan are still playing into a mask, still on some level acting in the confines what is supposed to be recognizable as them. We as fans are given the illusion of perfect chemistry—and my sentimental heart very much likes to believe that absolutely some of it is the case, romantic that I am— HOWEVER in the cynical reality we call life they are first and foremost coworkers.

Which leads me back to the character aspect of it all which is to say that to me, having character means that you have set-in-stone yet complex recognizable charictaristics that feed the need to either experience a story being told or indulge in telling one yourself.

The true peak of character is the marriage of both the lore and the real where they blend seamlessly into each other to create a cohesive whole. Again, many kpop groups do this but Ateez goes the extra mile by being very much lore-heavy by design and refrencing said lore influences whereever they can (looking at their kingdom performances and Hongjoong even in his most recent MJ cover going the extra mile) and ALSO doing it in a way where they just fit into each other personality-wise like a puzzle piece with distinct archetypes that also offer an absolutely scrumptious amount of tension with-in the group itself! (one only needs to look at how many people theoretically threaten Hongjoongs position as a leader, the government pairings etc)

Anyyyyyyhow this was terribly long and messy and just essentially me crashing out at 4 am my time ahahah please excuse this being all over the place and the LENGTH this is why I've been diagnosed with yapper syndrome HSJDJDJSKSJS

Words cannot express the amount of glee I feel when my extremely lengthy essays lead to like minded people sending me THEIR lengthy essays. I don't have the vocabulaty to contain my delight but know that I am DELIGHTED. I hope you write more on your blog or wherever you keep your kpop content AND TAG ME when you do, please.

[shitpostingkats]

Obsessed with these tags OP omg

First of all, how dare you stab me in the heart with that comparison to Jesse. I can absolutely see it. Now I want to know how Jesse would come into play in all this- Cod I love Spiritshipping they were meant for each other <3

Second, I know I already requested Yuya and Jaden interactions (and oh boy did you deliver), but now you have me intrigued. Like it doesn't even have to be the groupchat AU, I'm just genuinely curious now how you think Jaden would interact with all four of the Yu Boys. I am giving you an excuse to write Jaden and Yuri interacting also because to be completely honest I love Yuya to bits and pieces but Yuri has always been my favorite of the four. <3 "Yuri is the violence" Dear cod I want to see the two of them tear into someone. I have no idea who exactly but they would be terrifying. Give them an audience perchance. Maybe the rest of the protags. (I live for reactions) I'm living for this.

Jaden meets them and it's like witnessing all the parts of himself he keeps tucked to his chest exposed for everyone to see. He sees Yuto and wants to wrap him in a hug and tell him nothing was his fault. (He's a hypocrite, he knows he (Jaden) deserved everything he got. He didn't, he really didn't) He sees Yuya and sees the mask he's put up for so long, sees his attitude of "maybe if I ignore this then it'll all go away" and wonders if his own mask ever looked this close to cracking. He sees Yugo and wants to scream and tear his hair out because when did he lose that part of himself? When did the mask truly become a mask, when did he lose that spark that made life seem actually worth living? (He knows damn well when he lost it.) He sees Yuri and sees a world where he gave in completely to the madness, where he found comfort in the pain because it was the one time he truly felt like he was in control. He wonders what it cost him, if it cost anything at all. He wonders what friends he sacrificed to get where he is now, and if it was worth it. He looks into his eyes and thinks maybe it was. He wonders if maybe their worlds aren't as dissimilar as he first thought. (That thought alone might scare him more than anything.)

It's late and I'm not very good with words (at the moment at least) But you have got me HOOKED and you are currently my only source for this dynamic, I will be plaguing your ask box for a good week at least, I hope you know this- (Feel free to tell me to chill out at any time btw, I just saw your blog description and took that as a personal challenge sdfghj /lh)

Much love <3

*hands you back your worksheet and it looks like this*

*hands you stickers hands you a candy from the candy bowl, never worry about blowing up my inbox, I love hearing from people, hands you a tangerine*

Bestie you are doing such a good job thank you for the kind words, also your mind. I hadn't realized the potential for Yugo + Jaden interactions until you started messaging, now I am rocked by the implications. Now I have to write the yu-bois into the gc au. Can't promise I'll publish anything anytime soon, but I'm always excited to talk about these funny card game guys.

Yuri and Jaden the reformed supervillain and the still-thinks-he-has-to-be-the-evil-brother. Jaden is trying to nudge the guy in the right direction but totally worried because he is only barely older than him and still kinda a mess, meanwhile Yuri would gladly sell Jaden for one corn chip but also belligerently hangs out with him because he kinda is one of the best fusion duelists in the world, maybe he can learn some things. Yuri is like "Let's rob this 7/11! >:3" and Jaden is like "Oooh! There's a deal on slushies!"

Reformed murder hobo in the body of a college student tries to reform child murder hobo: seven injured, Yugo's on the roof, more on this story at 11.

[queerfables]

@alphacentaurinebula said:

I’m actually not sure I have a firm idea of how long they’ve been in love - I’m super curious, what makes you feel so strongly about that particular timeline?

It's a few different things, but a big factor is just what I want to be true. I'm projecting, because a defining feature of my first queer relationship was both of us knowing that we were in love but not being together. I was a teenager and my parents forbid the relationship and like, I trusted them and I loved them and I knew they were fucking wrong and I didn't know how to reconcile any of that. Like Aziraphale, I was looking for this third way that didn't force me to choose between love and family or make a definitive statement about which of those sides of me was "right", especially because deep down I was terrified that the thing I wanted most was wrong. So instead of anything real what we had was this in-between space of plausible deniability, and that's where I think Crowley and Aziraphale live. The way they push up against a really fucking thin line between what is and isn't allowed speaks to that experience for me.

With that in mind, it isn't a particular timeline I'm set on so much as a particular dynamic. I'm not sure when they fell in love and I think it probably happened so slowly that neither of them could tell you either. But I think they've both been conscious of the unspoken feelings between them for a little while, at least. I'm not sure about Crowley's timeline for this but I'm pretty sure that Aziraphale thinks Crowley figured it out first. His "you go too fast for me" line only makes sense if he thinks Crowley is ahead of him. I'm inclined to trust Aziraphale's judgment on this, if for no reason other than that the line loses a lot of its power if he's wrong.

I have a pretty firm headcanon that Aziraphale realised what was between them in 1941 when Crowley came for him in the church, because allegedly that has been Michael Sheen's belief since season 1 and who am I to argue? I think the way season 2 expands on that night backs this up. I mean, you have Crowley and Aziraphale being pursued by Nazis, and a photograph of them together almost gets Crowley condemned to Hell. The implications are not subtle. They've worried about their association putting them in jeopardy before, but this is the first time there's been a real immediate threat based on it, and it feels appropriate to me if it happens right when they're finally on the same page about what they mean to each other. (Notably, I think this is also the first time they're mistaken for a couple, by Furfur. I'm not totally sure about that though.)

So maybe this is when Aziraphale realises he's in love, or maybe he already knew how he felt, and Crowley saving the books was when he realised Crowley loved him back. Whichever it is, the way he looks at Crowley with the music swelling around him just blatantly seems like a realisation to me. Something shifts in the way he sees Crowley in this moment. It makes me think of the Princess Bride:

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."

(God I'm suddenly completely obsessed with the parallels between Crowley/Aziraphale and Westley/Buttercup. Aziraphale getting Crowley to miracle away paint stains 🤝🤝🤝 Buttercup making Westley pass her a pitcher that's right in front of her. Amazing.)

So yeah, I don't know exactly when they fell in love and I don't think they do either. I think it happened at some point between 2500BC and 1941, so, you know, I'm not exactly pinning myself down there lol. I assume that Crowley is ahead of Aziraphale in terms of falling and understanding that he has fallen, and I assume that Aziraphale has all the pieces by 1941, which gives me a few good decades to play in that plausible deniability in-between space that I like so much.

[jadelotusflower]

June 2021 Roundup

It's been a month of highs and lows. Every year my city holds a cabaret festival, and I've seen some truly amazing acts over the years - including Lea Salonga, Kristin Chenoweth, and Indina Menzel. This year's Artistic Director was the great Alan Cumming, and although due to covid he didn't quite get to curate the program he wanted to, the opening night Gala was still a highlight, as was Alan's DJ set at the pop-up Club Cumming afterwards, where there was much singing at the top of my lungs and dancing to pop anthems and theatre tunes. At one point Alan, dressed in a onesie and perched on the shoulders of a man wearing only sparkly short shorts, was carried around the dance floor while Circle of Life blared. Reader, I was delighted.

I was also able to see his solo show Alan Cumming Is Not Acting His Age, which was hilarious and damn, he can sing!

As for the low, I was meant to fly to Sydney for the weekend to see Hamilton, a trip I have been looking forward to for almost a year, but had to be cancelled because of a covid outbreak and border closures. The tickets have been rescheduled, but I'm still kind of bummed about it (while completely appreciating the need for covid safety, especially when our vaccine rollout has been completely botched by our incompetent, corrupt federal government)

Anyway.

Reading

The Hundred and One Dalmations (Dodie Smith) - With all the bewilderment over Disney's Cruella, I decided to revisit the original novel which I first read as a kid. It's funny, I had very vivid memories of this book, or rather thought I did, particularly the scene where Roger and Anita have dinner at Cruella's house that fixed in my young mind as utterly disturbing with all this devil imagery and the implication Cruella was literally some kind of demon, which must have been either a) my overactive imagination or b) an illustration, because it's not as clear as I thought it was. The strangeness is there (food with too much pepper, Cruella's inability to keep warm, the walls painted blood red) but not the explicit demon imagery I had remembered. There is a part later in the book recounting the history of Hell Hall and the rumors of Cruella's ancestor streaking out of the place conjuring blue lightening, but clearly child me was reading far more into the book than was on the page.

But I still wish they'd gone with this version of Cruella's backstory, because to me an aristocratic, ink-drinking, heat-obsessed, possibly-demon spawn, high camp villain is more interesting and rings far more true than plucky punk against the establishment.

Smith clearly had Facts About Dalmations to share, and she does really craft a wonderful animal-based story that the Disney animated film is largely faithful to. Key differences include: Roger's occupation (he doesn't have to pay tax because he wiped out government debt somehow?!?), Pongo's mate and the puppy's mother is called Missis, Perdita is another dalmation who acts as a kind of doggie wet nurse, Roger and Anita both have Nannies who come to live with them (Nanny Butler and Nanny Cook), Cruella is married to a furrier (who changed his last name to de Vil). Also odd, on her first description Cruella is described as having "dark skin" but later in the novel her "white face" is mentioned, so I'm chalking it up to 50's descriptors not having the same meanings they do today.

The Duke and I (Julia Quinn) - After being just whelmed by the tv series, I wasn't really planning on reading the books, but I saw this on the top picks shelf at the library and damn, the top picks shelf is irresistible. This is very much Daphne's book (and I had known each in the series dealt with the different sibling) so many of the characters and much of the plot of the show is absent, as are some of the more baffling elements of the show like the Diamond of the First Water nonsense, which I always thought was a strange character choice in that it stacks the deck for Daphne when her character arc is better served as somewhat of an underdog (in her third season, the kind of girl who is liked but not adored), and the Prince subplot which was always far too OTT even for soapy regency romance.

It's a breezy, fun read (that scene excepted), even if the misunderstandings are contrived and I'm never going to take "I'll never have kids because I hate my dad" as a credible romantic obstacle deserving of so much angst.

Faeries (Brian Froud and Alan Lee) - A lovingly detailed and illustrated compendium of Faerie and its inhabitants, drawing from a range of European (but primarily Celtic) folklore and mythology. Froud was a conceptual designer on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and the link is clear in the art as well as the focus on faeries as mysterious but oftimes sinister beings, where human encounters with them rarely end well. Lee has illustrated several publications of Tolkien's novels, and was a lead concept artists for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies, and there is a touch of Middle Earth here as well, or rather the common inspiration of the old world. A useful resource for my novel!

Watching

The Handmaid's Tale (season 4, episodes 4-8) SPOILERS - So when I last wrote about this show in the Roundup, I was complaining it wasn't going anywhere. Well, I'm happy to be wrong because they finally changed things up with June finally escaping to Canada. That part of the plot following the survivors and their trauma has always been far more compelling than Gilead, and so it was a welcome development even if I side-eye some of the choices (none of these characters is seeing an actual licensed therapist why?).

This show has always been difficult to watch given the subject matter, and that has not changed after the shift in power dynamics. I will give the show credit for showing a broad range of trauma responses, from Moira wanting to move on and not let it consume her, to June, a ball of rage and revenge on a downward spiral, to Emily, trying to follow Moira's path but being drawn to June's, to Luke, trying his best but utterly unequipped to deal with what is happening.

But it is very hard to watch June go down this path - raping her husband (I concede the show perhaps didn't intend for it to be rape, but that's what is on screen and framing it as just "taking away Luke's agency" doesn't change that), wishing death on Serena's unborn child, and orchestrating Fred's brutal murder by particulation, then holding her own daughter still covered in his blood and it getting smeared on Nicole's face (an unsubtle metaphor in a series full of unsubtle metaphors).

There are interesting questions being asked of the viewer, and the show (perhaps rightly) not giving any answers. I can certainly appreciate the catharsis of Fred getting what he deserves even if I personally find the manner of it horrifying, but where is the line between justice and revenge, is revenge the only option when justice is denied, when does a trauma release become cyclical violence/abuse - the show is, for now, letting the viewer decide.

Soul (dir. Pete Docter and Kemp Powers) - In a world full of remakes/reboots/sequels, Pixar is perhaps the lone segment under the Disney umbrella committed to original content. However, there does seem to be a Pixar formula at work directed to precision tugging the heart strings, and some of the film feels like well-trod ground. On the other hand, it's hard to criticise the risk of centering a kids film around the existential crisis of a middle aged man, even with the requisite cutesy elements (and of course, the uncomfortable pattern of yet another film where the black lead character spends a great deal of the runtime in non-human form - herein, an amorphous blob or a cat). But the animation is stunning, it successfully did tug my heart strings, and the design of the Great Before and the Jerrys is original and fun.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under - Drag Race is somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me, since I generally don't watch reality shows, and this is something I really enjoy even if I'm not invested in the fandom (which like many fandoms can be very yikes). This year it was time for the Australian/New Zealand (Aotearoa) queens to show their stuff, although it's been met with mixed reactions. Covid restrictions didn't allow for guest judges, relegating them to mere cameos via video calls, and its clear that Ru and Michelle really don't quite get all the cultural nuances - Aussie judge Rhys Nicholson was however always delightful. But it wouldn't be Australia without a racism scandal, with the great disappointment of the two queens of colour eliminated first, and one queen having done blackface in the recent past yet making it all the way to the top four.

In the end, the only viable and deserving winner was last Kiwi standing Kita Mean, and it was pure joy to see her get crowned. I do hope they fix the bugs and indeed do another season to better showcase AU/NZ talent.

Writing

A far more productive month - to try and get out of my writing funk I had a goal to try and write every day, even if it was only 100 words. While I didn't quite achieve a consecutive month, I did get a pretty good average, at least got something posted and two others nearly there.

The Lady of the Lake - 2441 words, Chapter 4 posted.

Against the Dying of the Light - 2745 words

Turn Your Face to the Sun - 1752 words.

Here I Go Again - 1144 words

Total words this month: 8082

Total words this year: 35,551

[senditothemoonn]

@kirkland-bros-and-more I agree with everything you said! 🥺💕💕 Even though I don't think about it much I think demisexual Alasdair makes a lot of sex PLUS the implication of Francis being the only to have properly touched his heart?? Of Francis being the only one in the entire world to have his undying love (excluding other's platonic love ofc) like??? It's just so wholesome, it's so soulmate-esque, it's just exactly what I want in my OTP asjdfjfjka

Blushing Alasdair?? Yes omg 💕💓💗💝💖 make this stoic boulder of a man a stuttering, blushing mess who gets weak in the knees when he even so much as glances in Francis' direction.

And their first meeting? It was in one of Moonlighten's fics (yes I know I bring them up all the time but it's because I'm constantly rereading their fics so they're always at the forefront of my mind 😭😭) where Alasdair sees Francis for the first time as he's peaking over Hadrian's wall at Francis and Arthur and he sees Francis and is immediately bewitched by this sparkly, enigmatic young girl (Alasdair thinking Francis is a girl when he sees him for the first time is a headcanon I'm obsessed w and you can pry it from my cold dead hands ajsjjssj + I think it's one Francis would take great pleasure in ajsjsjjs)

Francis showing Alasdair what love is??? 🥺🥺🥺💕💓💗💝💖 I have one image that sums up my thoughts entirely:

OH MY GOSSHH !1!1!1! Alasdair thinking he's not good enough for Francis !!1!1!!1 and therefore being too scared to say anything !1!!1!1 causing centuries of suffering through miscommunication and pining !11!1!! Sign me TF up ✨ this is probably one of my favourite aspects of scotfra and actually there's this song in my scotfra playlist (it's from Dirty Dancing actually and sung by Patrick Swayze and like side note: Dirty Dancing au? No? Okay anyway) it's called She's Like the Wind and the lyrics:

She's taken my heart

But she doesn't know what she's done

Oh, Alasdair, honey, sweetheart, he feels the exact same as you just tell him.

Just a fool to believe

I have anything she needs

She's like the wind

LIKE ugh...I love listening to this song and thinking about Alasdair. It fits my idea of him so perfectly. He loves Francis so much but knows that Francis is too good for him/would never love him back so he keeps his feelings bottled up because to him it's better to be beside Francis as a friend (with benefits?) than to chance ruining even what little they already by saying something foolish that might scare Francis away. (Obviously Francis' feelings mirror his quite closely)

For their first time, I usually like to think of Alasdair as the more experienced/savvy of the two (just because personally I like to think of Alasdair as older. BUT if they're the same age or even if Alasdair is younger, I can so see him being a clueless virgin (him and the rest of the bros, I think it's totally in character) and even if Francis is also a virgin himself, he's probably been curious, asked a few questions, read books, and done a lot of experimenting himself (maybe even some kissing, heat letting, dry humping depending on their ages) and now you've got me sinking about bumbling virgin Allie. Francis coming onto him, he freezes up because he has NO idea how sex works (also I headcanon Alasdair as exclusively a postman not a postbox 😌) so Francis takes the lead, straddling him and riding his dick while Alasdair stares up at him in complete awe and ecstasy and I'm getting carried away. But also learning from each other??? Hhhhng. They're both so nervous, both putting on a front that they know more than they do. It's so awkward at first, both scared to give themselves away so they hold back but slowly, as they listen to what feels right, things fall into place so smoothly. Alasdair finds himself taking the lead and Francis lets him because he feels safe and protected and at home as everything feels right.

I don't have much else to add but you've almost summed up my thoughts exactly. At the end of the day they're both pining oblivious idiots who need to just tell each how they feel.

So we can safely assume because Scotlands National Animal is the Unicorn that Scotland is a virgin? What does this imply for the Auld Alliance if so?

Hejsbssbsk I've never seen Scotland this way but if he were???? Oh my God this would change the dynamic ENTIRELY

Can you imagine? The beefy, confident man that is Alisdair suddenly a fluttering blushing virgin mess around Francis?? Not to pressure them or anything, but I think this is something @senditothemoonn should know about 👀