#I'm the opposite of a hypochondriac by the way

[endlessnightlock]

having medical tests done is so stupid. it’s like “I hope they find the thing” but really you don’t want there to be anything there in the first place to be found

[mistydeyes]

𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽!

i’m currently not active atm but feel free to pursue my previous works <3

here's a short lil explanation as to where i am lol

click me for asks + requests :)

requests: closed atm!

pairings status: closed atm!

rules for requests - i love when you send things 💌

note - message me or comment on any one of my works if you want to be added to a tag list :)

I usually post on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays

izzie's fic recommendations - updated daily!

some things about me :)

the basics: 22, she/her, from the us :)

i'm a third year pharmacy student! also minoring in justice, law, and society

along with writing, i also intern at a retail pharmacy during the summer and a psychiatric hospital during the school year

so naturally my pharmacist series is my absolute favorite to write and research!

𝓶𝔀𝓲𝓲 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 - the full masterlist

don't know where to start? here's a few readers' favorites :) ❤️ - izzie’s favorites

💌 if you want to peek at all of my writings

S E R I E S

"your prescription is ready for pick-up" - 141 x pharmacist!reader

all of my works and our pharmacist reader

a panacea❤️ - 141 meets the cure to all their ailments

sick day visit - you prided yourself on never getting sick but the day has finally come. as you’re resting in your quarters, a certain group pays you a visit :)

fake hypochondriac ghost x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - ghost goes to extreme lengths to see his favorite pharmacist

pain-killer fueled thoughts price x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - price landed himself in the medic tent and his pain killers are making him tell the pharmacist his feelings.

keep your weapons hot and bodies hotter (18+) - stripper!141 x fem!reader (codename: Phoenix)❤️

hunk-o-mania 141 edition - feast your eyes on Delilah's Den's newest male dancers

playboy bunny phoenix edition - an unforeseen guest complicates the mission, now you have to get ready to act as the distraction on stage

the joys of civilian life - 141 x civilian!fem!reader

opposite occupations - while on leave, the boys each meet a civilian that makes their time deployed and defending their country worth it

family moments - 141 x fem!reader

little moments and little voices - precious moments you spend in your home with your husband and children :)

oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up - your husband leaves this world too early and now you have to pick up the pieces with your children

secrets and pointed fingers (requested!)❤️ - simon "ghost" riley

behind locked doors - when the 141 thinks you're the mole, they make sure to extract the information in whatever way possible

empty apologies and avoiding glances - when you return back to base, everything is far from normal

half empty glasses and unchanging perspectives - you try to run away from the trauma at the pub but with a glass in hand, simon finds you

O N E - S H O T S

odd hobbies - 141 x reader everyone has their own hobbies, yours are just unique to 141’s perspective

butterfly effect - 141 x fem!reader they say "a butterfly flaps its wings in the amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of europe." what once was a silly quote now has implications as one action leads to your death.

opposite of a meet cute❤️ - 141 x civilian!reader most people have a cute story as to how they met their significant other but yours is a little more eccentric

V I S U A L S + R A N D O M

random things in pockets and bags❤️ SERIES - what does the 141 carry on them when they’re on leave?

pt i- kyle “gaz” garrick

pt ii - simon "ghost" riley

pt iii - johnny "soap" mactavish

pt iv - john price

E X P L A I N S my series of explaining the various timeline's of the games and characters

simon "ghost" riley's backstory

which modern warfare game should i play first?

some writings from the inbox

medication mixup - the medic unknowingly prescribing you a penicillin has disastrous results due to your allergy

141’s dossier - see what the dossiers laswell gets at the end of mw 2019 looks like! + template

ghost’s doppelgänger - how does the 141 and los vaqueros react to you joining the team? their reactions are even better when you share an uncanny resemblance with ghost

running mascara - 141 x fem!reader harsh words are said and you try your best to run away from the cause. however, everyone needs to face the issue eventually and now the 141 is left to pick up the pieces. initially part of my 1k celebration but i added a sequel as it was highly requested! PART I and PART II

mw2 x reader - my ongoing series of pairing y'all up and writing a short lil blurb about how you met and your relationship

izzie’s 1K celebration! - closed now :) but feel free to look and see some of the prompts + how i answered them

𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼

[oswigailvr]

Hello everyone, I'm Oswigail and today I come to show you one of my alternate universes of Thomas and his friends, my human versions called 100% humanized, a world where the characters are students, locomotive drivers and locomotive drivers, or in some others. cases the guards or another official of the northwest railway of Sodor governed and directed by Sir Tophan Hat and here are the characters that have the most prominence in my au. 1 Thomas, who everyone already knows, but now as a young man of 15 years (in this universe he is paired with Rosie from the ships later we discuss) Thomas in this universe has the responsibility of being an older brother after saving his mother Lady from Diesel 10 he discovers that his mother had another daughter, one called Lady Jr, whom he must take care of at the request of his mother, whom it is not very common to see.2 Edward, a boy (here he is not old, honestly, he seems anything but an old man) well a wise and kind but shy but brave and helpful young man.3 Henry is the same scared young man as always paranoid and a little hypochondriac but it is simple a young man who was completely planned to be granted but not in the traditional way behind manipulating some things about his genetics looking for the perfect child was simply the opposite and the biggest scam and crime with the illusion of a couple who had difficulties having children, adding this to the unstable state of health of his mother, resulted in a premature Henry. and sickly going from hospital to hospital seeking to heal his illnesses until he decided to try experimental medications seeking to improve all his weaknesses and currently we are seeing the change (it is the equivalent of special charcoal and its reconstruction).4 Gordon, the oldest of the group although He shares the same age as his best friend Henry, the only one who will always have to endure him being childhood friends but still that bond is too strong Gordon and Henry are opposites because Henry is weak and sickly Gordon although he had health problems in the past more also family conflicts, he is Healthy, athletic, strong, fast and the strongest of the group, things that he seeks to increase in his quest to be the express train Gordon and Henry opposite but that does not prevent him from continuing to have his arrogant, arrogant, conceited, and even discriminatory attitudes that Henry almost always He has to correct so that his friend does not get the hatred of everyone because he knows better the reason for his attitude. 5 James, our dear reddish boy, the most conceited member of the steam team, conceited and often unbearable unless he has charisma James is simply James, I know he thinks he is the most handsome not only of the team but of the group but that doesn't stop him from having to put down to earth whenever he realizes or they let him know that he ruined everything James has a strong crush on Emily and hates seeing her sad because of him they are explosive many times but it is a relationship of yes you can stand me I will stand you better the typical boyfriends that one day they fight and the next they forgive each other.6 Percy is a very kind young man, Percy is small and adorable but he also has his fearful side but he also still retains his cheeky and mischievous side that he always tries to repress but it is something he knows will never go away. although a good friend to Thomas and a good boy to Lady Jr., Thomas' little sister. These are the first characters, the list goes on but I will bring it in parts

You can start asking your ship questions or au questions Or just questions from the characters I introduced for now

[raspberry-gloaming]

This is some ramblings about a sort of oc, for the missing mid 30s district 2 victor for @lorata 's We Must Be Killers universe. It's not all coherent and there's a lot of run on sentences here, but it's all just thoughts currently.

First off, introducing Knox! 2m, victor of the 35th Annual Hunger Games.

Merchant class, not quarry or offering, kinda in the middle just like he's in the middle of the shift from the elite to the modern way the center changed. His childhood was honestly pretty neglectful emotionally by his parents. They already had two other children, one to carry on the business, one to become a peacekeeper. Knox was an accident, an afterthought. They put him in the program to give him something to do, and somewhere to put him and forget about him for a while. Perhaps he'd come out with a good reference. Perhaps he'd become a peacekeeper like his brother. Perhaps he'd die in the arena. It didn't really matter - he was away and easily forgotten about in residential from 13, and they got a tidy stipend.

He was 18 in 35, so was 13 in 30. which means he was one of the new residential kids who were there when it all went down with I think he was called James? But with Joseph and all that. That's fun! (not)

He's like the opposite of Lyme when it comes to kids. The younger the better, he'd be great as a trainer of the 7-9s honestly. Babies, young kids, he loves them, gets on great with them. But the closer they get to residential age... nah.

It's partly due to the 30th and what happened, partly due to how his year group were just a bit wild. They did some shit, saw some shit, took it too far a lot of the time. Wanted to prove themselves and got too cocky when they knew that they wouldn't act like James had. The trainer's would put a stop to stuff, sure, but alot of it was psyching them all up. Getting them stronger, more confident (too confident, even when they were wiped the floor with by the older trainees.) No-one in this year would fail at volunteering and getting far. Both the kids and the trainers, as well as the trainers' treatment and reaction to the kids made sure of it. The arena wiped some of that out of Knox, but it was a recovery process, definitely. He later met up with some of his year mates and they'd had a tough time in detox. It wasn't just the events, of course, but it definitely had an impact, with the actions of the trainees and the trainers, as well as how they acted in the mock arena and who was selected down to the final few at the end.

Knox wasn't the craziest out there by far, in fact he was probably the least out of all of them. He knew how to put it on though, but was wary of his year mates. He got the highest scores in his year, which is why he was chosen, not because of his persona or personality. While they needed someone who was desperate to do the task, they also needed someone noble enough for the five year mark.

He's a bit dramatic honestly, but has definitely calmed down by the time canon rolls around. He's nearly 60 then, afterall. His dramatics have definitely changed over the years. From the petty, huffy, why aren't you __ at me?! phase several graduates go through, to an "oh god I'm an old man." he's thought himself as one of the old squad for a long time. Even when he was in his thirties, and with Adessa who thinks Odin (4 years older than Knox) is a baby, I wonder what she'd think of him lmao. He's quite a hypochondriac, and I'm not sure who the village go to for a doctor when not in the capitol but I'm sure they're busy with him. I feel like he'd go to Emory a lot trying to get her to teach him how to make all her quarry natural remedies and such.

While he doesn't really like teenagers and generally up until they're 21, he's got a soft spot for the volunteers and young victors. He remembers what it fealt like, how much the arena changed and took from you and how hard it was. He mentors a lot of the "lost causes." Like when it's been a massive string of careers in a row, or there's a major rumour that the arena is made for an outlier win, or in the 2nd quarter quell, or two has just got a double victor (43) so they aren't going to have a third straight after.

He also mentors those who think they are a lost cause. When it's been a tough time, and they want to win! and they'll do their duty! but they're starting to give up hope, Knox likes to come in and beat that out of them (litterally, as well as metaphorically). Unfortunately, since he never got a victor, due to choosing those who weren't likely, it hasn't impacted well for his second type, those who don't think they are likely but still have just the same chance as always, if they just get in the right headspace.

He mentored on and off for a long time, I think his last would have been the 63rd. Which is longer than the normal, but he had heart and wanted the best for those he believed had it in them.

Since then he'd settled down into his "old age" even though he's not even 60 and still spars and keeps as active as the other older twos. His talent has something with acting, privately I mean. I think his public might be a bit similar, something that he still enjoys like poetry reading because he can be dramatic with it and hide jibes amongst the metaphors against the Capitolites he's reading it too. The capitol may take his talent in the way they always do, but he can poke fun at them while they do it.

He's got a garden, and he likes walking on the mountain trail. One of the things that he got built as a new victor was actually in the forest behind, a stone, old fancy amphitheatre like the ancient ones. He likes doing soliloquies and monologues and one man shows out there, but if he can drag anyone else out to join in he's as pleased as a punch.

[guerrilla-operator]

Eric B. & Rakim // Microphone Fiend

I was a fiend before I became a teen I melted microphones instead of cones of ice cream Music orientated so when hip hop was originated Fitted like pieces of puzzles complicated 'Cause I grabbed the mic and try to say, "Yes y'all" They tried to take it and say that I'm too small Cool 'cause I don't get upset I kick a hole in the speaker pull the plug then I jet Back to the lab without a mic to grab So then I add all the rhymes I had One after the other one, then I make another one To this the opposite then ask if the brother's done I get a cravin' like I fiend for nicotine But I don't need a cigarette, know what I mean? I'm ragin', rippin' up the stage and Don't it sound amazin' 'cause every rhyme is made and Thought of, 'cause it's sort of an addiction Magnetized by the mixing Vocals, vocabulary, your verses, you're stuck in The mic is a Drano, volcanoes eruptin' Rhymes overflowin', gradually growin' Everything is written in the cold, so it can coincide My thoughts to guide Forty eight tracks to slide The invincible, microphone fiend, Rakim Spread the word 'cause I'm in E-F-F-E-C-T A smooth operator operating correctly But back to the problem, I got a habit You can't solve it, silly rabbit The prescription is a hyper tone that's thorough when I fiend for a microphone like heroin Soon as the bass kicks, I need a fix Give me a stage and a mic and a mix And I'll put you in a mood or is it a state of Unawareness, beware, it's the re-animator A menace to a microphone, a lethal weapon An assassinator, if the people ain't steppin' You see a part of me that you never seen When I'm fiendin' for a microphone, I'm the microphone fiend After twelve, I'm worse than a Gremlin Feed me hip-hop and I start tremblin' The thrill of suspense is intense, you're horrified But this ain't the cinemas of ,'Tales From the Darkside' By any means necessary, this is what has to be done Make way 'cause here I come My DJ cuts material, grand imperial It's a must that I bust any mic you hand to me It's inherited, it runs in the family I wrote the rhyme that broke the bull's back If that don't slow 'em up, I carry a full pack Now I don't wanna have to let off, you should of kept off You didn't keep the stage warm, step off Ladies and gentleman, you're about to see A pastime hobby about to be Take it to the maximum, I can't relax see, I'm Hype as a hypochondriac 'cause the rap be one Hell of a antidote, somethin' you can't smoke More than dope, you're tryin' to move away but you can't, you're broke More than cracked up, you should have backed up For those who act up need to be more than smacked up Any entertainer, I got a torture chamber One on one and I'm the remainder So close your eyes and hold your breath And I'ma hit you with the blow of death Before you go, you'll remember you seen The fiend of a microphone, I'm the microphone fiend

[bishiglomper]

I got up. Before I could even make it into the hall way my heart was hurty. Hard palpitations. Made my chest and right arm hurt. But it wasn't my left, so.... *shrug*

I sat on the kitchen floor until my sister finished dinner and asked her to help me get more tea. I told her why.

She was just like "Do you need medical attention? Should we take you up?"

While I was sitting there it did strike me as funny because I'm the opposite of a hypochondriac. One day I could be having a heart attack and still be like "Eh, SSDD"

Because that is my current mood. 😅 Normal people would freak out, but my body is just a pile of shit and things like this happen occassionally..

[deadpoetsam]

Thoughts/theories on the boys:

Short in stature but big in personality, Scotty’s a fast-talking teenage entrepreneur from the Florida panhandle who dreams of making the Forbes 400 list one day. And by his side always, both in life and on the island, is his best friend Bo.

I think Scotty's a parallel to Toni, but I don't see any mention of anger issues in his description... maybe they have another "flaw" planned for his character. The big dreams make me feel like he'll get along with Kirin easier than Toni with Rachel. Also, I'm looking forward to seeing his friendship with Bo. Will they make him openly gay like Toni?

Bo is a soft-spoken, contemplative teenager, also from the Florida panhandle. He has a naively optimistic outlook on life, despite a difficult upbringing, and he’d gladly lie down in the street for his best friend Scotty. His loyalty knows almost no bounds.

I think that Bo is a parallel to Martha, and I'm really excited to see a male character with a softer personality!!! Also, interesting that they say that his loyalty knows no bounds, while that was mentioned for Toni in the promotion for the girls.

The opposite of his personable stepbrother Seth, Henry is an emo reclusive type who prefers to retreat into the safety of his noise-canceling headphones and dwell on the darkness in the world.

Henry's a parallel to Leah? an interesting choice, curious to see how the relationship between the stepbrothers works out. It would be interesting if they make him the one who figures things out (if any of the boys even figure stuff out?). He also sounds a bit like Nora...

Seth Novak, who is naturally funny, Ivy-League smart, and full of charisma. Though he doesn’t necessarily aspire to a leadership role, Seth’s steadiness and sense of humor win him the respect and loyalty of the others, except for his step-brother Henry who clearly has issues with him.

Seth seems a parallel to Shelby, the rich and successful white boy (with more issues than meets the eye I'm assuming). It'll be interesting to see the stepbrothers and their relationship (especially seeing as they are parallels to Leah and Shelby, but feel more like a parallel to Shelby and Toni in a platonic way). Although he does have some traits similar to Dot....

Josh Herbert, a talkative, hypochondriacal teenager from a wealthy family in San Diego. Unlike the rest of his athletic, tennis-playing family, Josh is an awkward, nervous type who takes a number of homeopathic supplements to handle his chronic stress.

I think that Josh is a parallel to Nora, and I just know I'll love this character. Very interested in his backstory! Especially since it seems like he'll be the odd one out in his family (like Rachel) and how that will affect his place in the group. He's talkative, which isn't like Nora, but it'll be fun to see the different take on an awkward and nervous character.

Rafael Garcia, a quiet, sensitive teenager who lives in Tijuana but attends high school in San Diego. Straddling two worlds has made it difficult to get a clear and certain sense of himself, so he gravitates toward people with stronger, more charismatic personalities than his own.

Rafael seems a parallel to Dot, especially looking at the "caught between two worlds" bit and also taking in account that Dot lost her sense of self while taking care of her dad. I don't think they'll have him take care of a parent, but that they'll instead find another backstory (but if they have him take care of a parent, it would be really cool to see the differences!). The lack of a clear and certain sense of himself and being sensitive also sounds a bit like Shelby...

Ivan Taylor, an activist and aspiring playwright with an impeccable fashion sense and a razor-sharp wit. But his words can be cutting, sometimes too deeply, which has cost him friends along the way.

I think that Ivan is a clear parallel to Fatin, and I'm excited to see what they'll give him as a backstory! Also the "cost him friends" makes me feel like there'll be a similar fall out as Leah with Fatin, but I'm also curious about what his backstory will entail.

Kirin O’Conner, a short-tempered lacrosse player who doesn’t have much patience for weakness. Among the castaways, he’s ready and willing to take the lead first, though his hot-headed approach might not appeal to everyone.

Kirin definitely seems like a parallel to Rachel, so I'm curious to see how that turns out. I hope they give him a similar backstory as her, it would be interesting to see a male character with ED. The hotheaded approach also sounds a bit like Toni...

[anarcho-smarmyism]

I'm glad you got a diagnosis because it will hopefully lead to some effective treatment. But I still pretty firmly believe that BPD is just the new Hysteria. The symptoms and experiences are real, but the cause isn't some internal malfunction, it's a result of abuse (imo). And I have seen BPD used to silence and gaslight people out of their own experiences, just like Hysteria was. But I mean, even Autism & ADHD diagnoses are used like that. Anyway, it is still good even after all that.

dude, people have tried to diagnose me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder too, which is basically just “a kid doesn’t want to accept being treated like a programmable automaton in school and is angry about it” and a bunch of symptoms of complex PTSD, and that’s it. they literally make all these diagnoses that they treat as holy, eternal, unquestionable labels, and most of the behavior described is just….normal reactions to traumatic situations. and then, when you need a certain label to access the care you need, they treat you like you’re a paranoid hypochondriac because crazy people can’t be self aware. 

i once had a doctor tell me “oh that’s a big word!” after i said i was “disassociating” and it took all of my self control not to fucking throw something at him. 5 minutes later, he told me it’s impossible that i could be borderline because i “didn’t have a temper problem”. i remember staring at him and thinking am i hallucinating, or am i in the fucking MATRIX???? there’s no other explanation for this shit.

it’s really hard to talk about this without sounding like one of these “all psychiatry is fake” morons, but the psychiatric industry makes a profit off of pathologizing if not normal, at least entirely understandable, human behavior, stigmatizing it, and telling the people living with these disorders that they need to just endlessly treat the symptoms rather than address the root cause. that’s why hysteria was a common diagnosis. that’s why being gay or trans was/is in the DSM. that’s why all i could get anyone to do was give me pills to “stabilize my moods”, no matter how much i tried to tell them This Problem Has A Name Just Fucking Say It, no matter how much I tried to explain that me being able to be nice to them for 15 minutes means fuckall.

I wouldn’t be surprised if, 50 years from now, the classification of people as having “disordered personalities” is looked at the same way that we now look at putting leeches on people to get the bad blood out of them tbh. 

and i dont want to hear any smartasses telling me that i just “don’t understand how hard we can be to work with” i PROMISE i know more about how ~difficult~ we are than you do lmao

[windless-hurricane]

Pennywise and the Dancing Girl

Chapter 1: The Shadow Girl

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SUMMARY: At the moment, I want this to be solely mysterious. I will say though that the "Shadow Girl" isn't who she seems and this will eventually become a Henry x OC (or reader) fanfic.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Before I begin, this story takes place in the 2017 IT universe. I also shifted some pieces of information around. So before I'm scolded for inaccuracies, I'll say them now. First off, I combined the Derry Middle School and High School. I wasn't sure if that was the case in the movie, but it wasn't stated. Nevertheless, I will still refer to it as Derry High. The main character is 14 and a freshman (going on sophomore). The entire Losers Club will be in 8th grade (going on to be freshmen) and all 13. The Bowers Gang are all sophomores (going on juniors) and 15, excluding Henry who is 16.

WARNINGS (for the entire series): Explicit language, violence, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, some sexuality possibly, and some underage drinking and drug use.

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the last day of school. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't somewhere near excited. I knew it wasn't the last day of school altogether, but it would definitely be a step up from my current status as a freshman. All 8th graders dream of becoming freshmen; but once they realize the difficulties of dealing with upperclassmen, they want to join them. That had been the same mindset for me. Not only was I freshman, I was a transferee. That normally wouldn't be such a big deal, but it was at this school.

See, Derry High wasn't a typical high school. It included middle school as well. So, almost all the children here were attending this school for half their lives. They started in 6th grade and ended as seniors. Everyone knew everybody. Due to that, I thought I'd become a perfect candidate for teasing. I was practically fresh meat. However, that didn't happen. Why? Because I was barely noticeable. I kept to myself, hardly spoke a word to anyone, and moved swiftly through the halls like a shadow, avoiding certain people. It soon had become an objective to avoid four sophomores in particular: Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, Victor Criss, and Reginald "Belch" Huggins.

They were douchebags who got a kick out of tormenting anyone they saw below them. As a result of their animosity, even the juniors and seniors were afraid of them. You never messed with the "Bowers Gang" as they called themselves. I, a rarity, was not afraid of them and never would be. I just wanted to stay the shadow that I liked being and it became a promise to myself.

I kept to that promise for the entire year and now all I had to do was get through this day like any other. Then, it would be summer vacation, which was full of reading and...reading. I didn't have any friends, but I was satisfied with that. It was better to not get too attached to people you would end up leaving. In a way, that was my curse: the inability to care for anyone because you are not worth caring for. But it would be ok.

I walked through the front doors of the school, clutching the straps to my bag. Other students were already situated inside, engaging in morning chatter and shenanigans. I...went straight to my locker. I knew I had to empty it out and it would be better to do it now than later. So, I put in the combination and got to work. I wasn't necessarily the neatest, but it didn't look like the aftermath of a hurricane. Just messy. There were notebooks, textbooks, and a bunch of scattered and crumbled pieces of paper. It didn't take long to stuff these into my bag and throw what was left away. I closed my locker with a slam, but it didn't echo like it normally would because of background conversation.

I glanced around and my eyes ending up following the scene of two boys running away in the direction opposite to mine. Moments after, Henry Bowers and his gang of misfits were in the shot. He had an apparent smirk on his face. Probably from gloating because of the amount of power he had over the kids here. The thought of it was enough to make me roll my eyes; but I continued to watch, seeing if he would do anything else. He didn't. Just as I was about to turn away, his eyes met mine. He knew I had been staring and didn't have the intention of letting me go.

His eyes were crystal blue and they contradicted mine: my chocolatey brown. However, they still managed to be darker than mine and mine brighter than his. He didn't hold any expression in his face and neither did I. It was just blank staring. This wasn't the first time we did this. Occasionally throughout the year, we'd find each other's eyes, but never did anything about it. He didn't know me and he assumed I didn't know him. We had never been in the same vicinity as each other because if he was ever too close, I would've found a way out. All we had was this.

I hated to admit it, but he was quite pretty to look at. It didn't throw my hormones out of whack or anything. I stared at him because of his eyes. His eyes were dark, beautiful, and so familiar to me. I couldn't put my finger on it. It seemed I had looked into those eyes even before I knew him. There was something that intrigued me about them. I knew there was something hidden there. Even if I already had an idea, I longed to know myself.

I gulped out of my trance and released the handle to my locker. I stared just a bit longer until I turned away, losing sight of him and those eyes. Who would've known that days later Henry would tell me himself that he saw me as this mysterious girl that he wanted to crack. A girl that actually drew him in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was able to make it through three classes of Algebra, English and History. Since it had been the last day of school, we hardly did anything. There was clearly no homework to assign or assignments to finish. It was either a free for all with limited volume or we watched a movie on the projector. I was only interested in the movie. Currently I had one more class until lunch and no doubt, it was going to be the same as the others. It was actually quite a relief. Relaxing felt...nice. It nearly brought a smile to my face before I was interrupted.

My head snapped up on impulse as I heard a loud smack echo through the hallway. It didn't startle me, but it certainly caught my attention because before I knew it, I was rounding the corner quickly with a newfound purpose. It was a boy and he was lying on the ground. Getting a clearer shot, I saw that it was Eddie Kaspbrak, the local hypochondriac. I never knew him on a personal level, but I always saw him around. As you can tell, I knew a lot more about him than he did me. That's how it usually was with people. I knew along with him being a hypochondriac, he was a germaphobe who constantly expressed his paranoia to his friends. Other than that, he was quite funny and would never shut up about the evils of sickness and blessings of cleanliness. I sometimes found it rather cute.

He was also a favorite plaything of the Bowers Gang, along with the rest of his friends, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, and Richie Tozier. I saw them around quite often too, either goofing off or arguing. I wonder where they were to have left Eddie alone. To have left him alone with Bowers and the dick squad. Maybe he was just unlucky. Henry had been manhandling Eddie's fanny pack and dumping its contents onto the floor beside him. I could only assume Eddie tried getting it back, but was only met with a shove to the ground. All I did was stare. It seems that's all I was good for.

Even though they deserved a good beating, I never interfered. It was part of the promise and it hadn't been difficult to maintain until now. I nearly wanted to break it. I don't know why, but the feeling was there. It wasn't enough to push me though as the fanny pack was already empty. I watched as Henry threw the pack at Eddie's face and mouthed something that I couldn't make out. Most likely it was some humiliating insult. I looked to Eddie and his expression killed me. Was it - sadness? Anger? Disappointment? It could be helped.

I walked over quietly and squatted down near him as he sat up. He gave me a shocked and questioning look before I began to gather his belongings into the fanny pack. He wasn't moving or saying anything, just watching like I had been moments ago. There was an inhaler, a few containers of pills, bandage. I guess this also served as a small first aid kit. Nice. I stood up and glanced around, making sure I collected everything. I had, expect for Eddie. I zipped up the pack before reaching my hand out to him. His expression managed to change. Why was he looking at me like that? It's like I was some miracle. Then, he looked to my hand and I smiled softly,

"Don't worry. I just came from the bathroom. It's clean."

His gaze switched between my face and hand until he finally took it. His was oddly soft. I helped him up gently and let it go as soon as he was up.

"Um, here," I muttered out, handing him his pack. He was still staring at me and finally, he snapped out of it. He took it quickly.

"T-thanks...um..." he cocked an eyebrow.

"Emma," I finished. "Emma Gray."

"Thanks, Emma." Red found its way onto his face. Was he really blushing?

"It's no problem. No one should face a jagoff alone." He smiled and it made me smirk. I reached into the side pocket of my bag and pulled out my mini bottle of hand sanitizer, showing it off to him. "I noticed you were almost out and you're definitely going to need a lot more to get rid of the stench of Bowers and his goons." I breathed out a laugh. "Here." I handed it to him and he took it almost joyfully.

I smiled completely and for once, it felt real. However, it was short lived. The bell rang.

"Shoot," I groaned. "We should get to class, like, now. It was nice talking to you. See you around, Eddie." I know I didn't give him time to respond, but there wasn't time for a response. I turned around and headed the opposite direction to class.

(EDDIE'S P.O.V.)

"Wait," I called out, but she was already gone.

"Damnit." How did she already know my name? I looked at the bottle she gave me and her name was written across the label in black marker. Her handwriting was beautiful. I let my thumb run over her name as I smiled to myself.

"Emma - Emma Gray."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(BACK TO EMMA'S P.O.V.)

I made it through Biology and as expected, we watched a movie - a real boring one about the inner mechanisms of a cell. It was over and time for lunch. I was looking forward to it because of what I packed today. If I did it right, it was going to be delicious. I began to fantasize about the greatness of my meal until I was forcefully pulled out of it. Could the world just not leave me to my mind today? Geez.

It was a noise and a deafening one at that. It came from down the hall and it was loud enough to make me wince, slight pain being brought to my ears. Who was it this time and why do they keep interrupting me? Thinking about it more, should I even ask? Knowing this school and its students, it was without a doubt Bowers. Did I want to find out? No. Would I inevitably end up finding out? Yes. This was the only way to the damned cafeteria.

I inched slowly down the hall, not in any rush to get an answer. I wasn't a nosy person. I actually considered myself quite considerate of other people's business. Then, I heard whimpering. I rolled my eyes harshly as I quickened my pace. What's wrong with you, Emma? Why are you being so interactive today? Why the hell do you even care? No one else in this god forsaken school does, why should you? Don't you remember the promise? You're too good for this, but maybe there was a reason not to be too good. Maybe it was Eddie and his call for help.

I rounded the corner and it wasn't Eddie, loosing a good amount of motivation. It was Ben Hanscom, the other new kid. Chubby, adorable, vulnerable, and being pushed up against the lockers by Bowers while his goons watched in amusement. I scoffed. This was the second time today. Was this really his way of celebrating the last day of school?

"Hey!" Oh, Emma. What the hell are you doing? You know you could care less.

All five boys turned their attention towards me with different expressions on each of their faces. Ben's eyes were pleading and hopeful while he was completely red in the face. Patrick was smirking creepily and it was enough to make me shudder. Victor and Belch actually held a similar look that reeked of 'Who the hell is this girl?' For the main star, he just looked pissed.

"The fuck do you want," he questioned deeply, his eyes peering into me.

"For you not to be a conniving dickhead," I stated proudly, stopping in front of them with my arms crossed. I don't know where this surge of confidence was coming from, but I kinda liked it.

"The fuck did you just say to me," he let go of Ben and started lurking towards me. This was the perfect chance for him to get away. The boys were entirely focused on me. I looked passed Henry's shoulder and my eyes met Ben's. He was terrified and astonished. I nodded my head up slightly, gesturing for him to go. He didn't get it the first time; but after repeating it, he got it and ran away. I looked back to Henry,

"You heard me." This is the closest I've ever been to him. We were nearly a foot apart. He was significantly taller than I was, not a giant, but taller. Had surprisingly muscular arms and I never noticed the upturn of his nose before. He broke the distance with one more step. I wanted to step away because of the awkwardness, but I also didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I simply kept my arms crossed and craned my neck up to look at him. He did the opposite with his neck, but also crossed his arms. Maybe this was a way of establishing dominance.

"I don't think I heard you quite right. Mind repeating what you said," he pushed. He was trying to scare me, but I don't scare easy.

"I said, I don't want you to be a conniving dickhead."

"I don't care about what you want," he retorted.

"You're the one who asked, honey." He let out a breathy laugh.

"No one gets away with talking to me like that, sweetheart."

"I think I just did."

"I like her," a voice called out. I soon realized it belonged to Patrick. Shame because I didn't like him. "What're we going to do with her, Henry?" Henry opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to walk away and enjoy myself a lovely meal in the cafeteria, while you four stand around and play with each other's dicks. And then you're never going to bother me ever again. Got it? Ok." I moved to walk past him, but he grabbed my bicep instead.

"It's not that easy," he told me, squeezing roughly. I yanked my arm away harshly, catching him off guard.

"It is that easy because I'm not afraid of you, Henry," I let out through gritted teeth. With that, I pushed past him, hitting my shoulder with his purposely.

(HENRY'S P.O.V.)

Patrick scoffed, "You're just going to let her get away with that? She deserves to be taught a lesson to." I agreed. I completely agreed, but she wouldn't be easy.

"I know," is all I managed to say before I turned to face them. "Do any of you know her?" They all shook their head uselessly, causing me to roll my eyes.

Vic was the only one to speak,

"I know she's a freshman, just not the name." I nodded,

"Lets get outta here." I walked ahead, knowing they would automatically follow. It was that girl. She knew my name, but I didn't know hers. It bothers me, but a lot more than it should. How could I not know the name of a girl like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THAT IS THE END OF CHAPTER 1. Hopefully you enjoyed it! This is the first chapter of a definite series :)

[lavieboheme930]

61

Do you button your shirt from the top or the bottom?

Top to bottom

Do you make collages often?

Not really

If you have a notebook, what are you most likely to put in it?

My journal entries

If you carry a bag around with you, is it usually full or empty?

in between

Are you a hypochondriac or the complete opposite of one?

Opposite

What is your favourite social networking website?

Have to say Tumblr. The others seem to toxic with the way people brag constantly on them.

How much have you changed in the last year or so?

Pretty much a lot

Do you save pictures you like to your computer?

Sometimes.

Do you remember having a crush on a cartoon character when you were little?

Yes. Aladdin and John Smith

Do you prefer buying things in real life or online? Why?

Real life

Do you keep a diary? Is it daily or just whenever you feel like it?

Yes. I try daily but sometimes I have nothing to write. So whenever.

Do you keep things that most people would throw away?

Yes.

What is your favourite thing to wear when you feel like crap?

Nothing different than what I normally wear LOL

Do you look forward to going to sleep at night?

Yeah

What was the last song you listened to?

In Too Deep -Phil Collins

What do you wish they would play less of on the radio?

I don't listen to the radio

Do you own an Etch-A-Sketch?

No. Used to

Have you ever rescued an animal? What type of animal was it?

Yes. My dog is a rescue

Do you have a favourite name? What is it?

Taron, Richard, Cynthia

What does your bedspread look like?

I don’t have one.

What colour is your suitcase?

Black

How big was the biggest bubblegum bubble you’ve ever blown?

No idea.

Are you any good at tongue twisters?

Yes, probably cause I talk too fast.

Do you wrap up warm in the cold weather?

Yes

If you could live anywhere, where would you choose? Why?

I love living here in NYC. Never will move out.

Do you have any habits you’d like to break? Which?

No

Have you ever wished to be an internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one?

No

Have you kept any birthday cards from when you were younger?

No

Do you like snow or see it as annoying?

Hate it

Do you enjoy going to theme parks?

Used to

If given the choice, would you visit : The beach, the lake or the woods?

Neither

Have you ever been kayaking?

No

Would you ever go on one of those rail holidays?

Never heard of those

Do you remember when you first learnt to read?

I just know I knew how to read already when I started school

Do you care overly about other people?

Yeah, too much at times.

If you could have any animal as a pet, which would you choose?

I'm happy having a dog.

Which natural disaster sounds the scariest to you?

All, but I'm fascinated with them all.

What was your favourite Disney movie as a kid? Is it still your favourite?

Aladdin and Lion King. YES!!!!

What is something you find really cute?

My dog

What is your favourite piece of furniture you own?

My bed

Do you still live with your parents? When are you planning to move out?

Yes. And who knows.

If you’ve moved out already, what age were you?

N/A

When did you first start using the internet often?

Had to be high school. 1997

Have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic?

No.

Does the above make you want to prove them wrong or does it shatter you?

Prove them wrong.

When were you last jealous? Are you a jealous person?

I'm not a jealous person.

Do you ever think about embarrassing moments and cringe?

Sometimes

What is your favourite facial feature?

Eyes.

When did you last have the hiccups?

I don’t remember.

Do you believe you will never get over someone?

Maybe

What is one fashion craze you never got into?

All. I follow my own style.

What about one you did get into?

N/A

What was the last thing you saw that creeped you out?

I don’t remember.

Do you watch scary movies on your own?

Yes

What was the last ice cream flavour you consumed? Is it your favourite?

No idea

Have you ever been called vain? Do you agree with them?

No

What is your favourite family tradition?

No idea

[askrandomslasher]

This is gonna be really stupid but I've been really thirsty all day and now I'm scared I've got diabetes because I heard someone mention the other day that a symptom is drinking a lot and it might just be nothing but I'm scared because it just kinda reinforces the fact I'm fat and eat too much (which I hate about me) and I'd have to tell my parents that something was wrong and they're gonna be disappointed in me. I'm sorry I'm bothering you for what's probably me just being stupid and paranoid.

Did...did I ghost write this? 

For serious, getting diabetes is one of my biggest fears, because my parents are convinced I’ll get it someday because I’m fat. Every time I have a thirsty day, or a tired day, or a day I (heaven forbid) pee too much, I freak out. 

Every time, though? It’s nothing. 

Some days you’re thirsty. Some days the humidity changes and you need more to drink. I literally have days where liquid doesn’t feel “wet” enough in my mouth so I can literally feel like my mouth is dry when I am holding liquid in my mouth and it sucks, but it’s just... a thing. 

If you’re thirsty today, drink plenty of water. You’ve probably been dehydrating yourself without noticing and your body’s had enough. 

If you’re thirsty tomorrow, do the same thing. 

If, in a few weeks, you’re still finding yourself thirsty all the time, and you’re also feeling fatigued, peeing a lot, maybe dropping weight unexpectedly...then talk to your doctor. 

BUT. If you have diabetes? It’s not a character flaw. People have thought for years that diabetics get diabetes because they’re fat, but often it’s actually the opposite: many people get fat because they are predisposed to diabetes and their bodies can’t produce insulin properly, years before the disease is officially diagnosed. If you get it, you’ll manage it, and it will NOT be a character flaw or a personal failing. 

*hugs* I know your fear so well, anon, but it’ll be okay. You’re okay. 

Also, as a hypochondriac myself (I don’t know if you are or not but either way), let me tell you one of the best things you can do for yourself and your sanity? Don’t look up common symptoms for things. If you find yourself experiencing a symptom, just hold off on researching it until it has persisted for a significant period of time or become particularly bad, then ask a healthcare professional. Online research is HORRIBLE for hypochondriacs, because our disorder can literally make us manifest symptoms. So I tend to avoid it at all costs. 

[funkymbtifiction]

I've been trying to figure whether I'm an ENFP or an ESFJ. My primary issue with figuring this out is not knowing where my Si is stacked. I don't think it's strong enough to be my auxiliary function because I'm prone to forgetfulness when it comes to small but important tasks like taking out the trash on time, and yet I can remember exactly how long it's been since I've been to the Museum of Natural History. I don't think it's strong enough to be auxiliary nor is it weak enough to be inferior.

You should be looking at the entire functional stack and how it works in each type, rather than focusing on a single cognitive function. =)

Ne/Te loops are very different from Fe/Ne loops.

Ne-dom is very different from tert-Ne.

Fi-aux is very different from Fe-dom.

Te-tert is very different from inferior Ti.

ESFJs tend to share all their feelings as they arise and have no problem with confrontation on an emotional level; when asked, they can assemble and share their feelings in ways everyone else can understand (Fe). They ask, “What do I think and how can I communicate it?” Si/Ne typically does not actively participate in extended conversations that revolve entirely around abstract concepts (how long would you discuss the question, “What is truth? Have we invented it? Does culture shape it? If culture does not exist, does truth exist? Can truth remain a truth when no one is there to acknowledge it as truth? By that reasoning, does truth even exist or only exist because we make it true, by embracing it AS truth and acknowledging its existence?” – there’s some Ne-dom for ya) and prefer instead to get back to the real world (how relevant is this topic and what can I do with it?). EXFJs do not feel good detaching from the people they care about in order to analyze or make a decision motivated entirely through rationality at the cost of ethics (inferior Ti).

ENFPs tend to hide their feelings behind sarcasm, deflecting humor and jokes to avoid trying to assemble abstract feelings into words (Fi). They ask, “What do I want and how do I get it?” Ne loves abstract conversations and pursues them without bounds; to the extent their beliefs can often be self-contradicting, changeable, prone to extreme shifts in opinion within relatively short amounts of time, and inconsistent. I have seen Ne-doms/auxes contradict themselves within 3 paragraphs. I have seen them start an argument on one side of an issue only to turn around and argue the opposite viewpoint, because their brain cannot run a single argument at a time – it has to throw up an alternate to compete with their attention. Te is “get it done, and get it done NOW.” This means the ENFP can be bossy, forceful, and not really care how others feel (Fi) so long as the job is done in such a way that meets their own expectations and standards. Inferior Si is a pain in the butt; it’s forgetting details or being tired when asked to deal with details, it is semi-oblivious to your own bodily needs, and prone to hypochondriac behaviors (oh, I have a stomach ache… I’m going to die of stomach cancer, and this is the first step! Oh, God!! I’m DYING… no, Ne-dom, and stop your hyperbole, for crying out loud!).

Whenever I have a (frequent) bout of Ne-dom doubt about my type and wonder about Fe, I just remember the awkward, blunt, inconsiderate statements my Te made throughout my childhood, teen years and young adult years and cringe. Higher Fe can often figure out how to say things in a nice way. Lower Te tends to slap you across the face with a two-x-four and then go… oops. Blunt.

- ENFP Mod

PS: I should also add that ENFPs joke about things that most Fe-doms find incredibly insensitive and insulting. Fe-doms do not appreciate the ENFP’s flippancy and carelessness when it comes to serious topics being turned into a sarcastic crack.

[saltandlimes]

Sleepover confession: this past year I've been constantly I'll due to a surgery I thought would make my life better but made it worse. I'm sick so often I'm starting to worry I'm a hypochondriac and what I think is physical is in truth psychological even if my therapist tells me it's not. It doesn't help my health has worsened my isolation and unemployment.

Hugs! I’m so sorry you’ve been experiencing this.

Here’s a few thoughts. Your therapist knows what psychological illness looks like, and it’s their job to help you manage it. If they reassure you that what you’re experiencing is physical, rather than psychological, that is their professional opinion, and worth trusting.

It really sucks when we get excited about something that we think will make a positive difference in our lives and it ends up being just the opposite. I hope you’re discussing that with your therapist. I also hope that you’ve talked to your MD or PA about what’s going on. They’re the people who can help figure out the illness issues.

As to the isolation, that sucks

[It’s Sleepover Saturday]