#I'm taking a break from writing my long fic for a while because I'm burned out of it

[meownotgood]

today. I will write. about gun fiend aki sex

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[krypticcafe]

Reader/ Y/n coming back to base covered in blood and tortured while 141 + Alejandro had no idea where reader was since they left in the morning.

Reader is "the little sibling/adopted child that we must protect all cause" to the boys

Love your writing so much ❤️

As Long as I'm Here

rating: mature

pairing(s): platonic gn!reader x 141 + alejandro

warning(s): canon-typical violence, language, drugs and drugging, torture, blood, military inaccuracies, no use of y/n, no beta read

a/n: Hope you don't mind that I decided to put this all in one long fic, kinda struggled with the writing direction with this since I had to rewrite it multiple times and I had to cut it short so I'll probably make a part two?

synopsis: it's going to take a lot more than simple torture to keep you from going back to the 141.

Part Two is now up!

"I'll be back before they know it."

Those were the last words you thought to yourself before you hopped off the helicopter. You and a team of other capable members of SpecGru and the Los Vaqueros had left before the crack of dawn for a joint operation and anticipated coming back by the afternoon if things went smoothly. And of course, they didn't.

No, you couldn't be afforded such a luxury as seen by how you were overwhelmed in battle. You wish you could've said you did your best, but god dammit you should've checked before entering that building, thinking you could lure the enemy away from the rest of your team. Compared to the hours you spent strapped to a chair with nothing but fluorescent light and a buzzing in your ears to compliment the throbbing pain in your head, you started to prefer the option of joining the rest of your teammates becoming target practice instead.

It didn't help either that the people who caught you were sick bastards. You could deal with the punches, a kick to the crotch, the hair pulling, cigar smoke, the blades, and having your body slammed around the place. It was nothing compared to practice with the 141 and prior missions you had with them. But when the metal cart of syringes came out, you knew you were beyond fucked, even when you had a swollen eye, a busted lip, broken ribs, open cuts, and burns. They took it a step further and injected experimental drugs you were supposed to investigate, homemade concoctions as they lovingly called them.

By pure shitty luck, you only escaped because one of them was stupid enough to clean up after offering you a glass of water when you woke up after passing out, dropping and shattering it in front of you, and not bothering to clean up. When your guard left to go take a piss break, you threw yourself to the floor and tried to squirm your way to the glass, using a shard to cut through your ropes. Once your guard came back, you pretended to still be bounded to your seat, coaxing him to come closer as if you wanted to confess something, and slit his throat. From there, it was easy now that you had a gun.

Or at least it was supposed to be. Maybe it was the heat of the moment or the adrenaline of finally being able to move, but the drugs hadn't fully kicked in until now. Your whole world seemed to sway, or maybe it was just you. You couldn't tell, all that mattered was that you could fight. Based on the layout of the building you were in, you were still in the same area as you were before. It took more bullets than you would've liked to admit to take down the guards that were in your way, but how was it your fault when the only two thoughts in your head were 'Where the fuck is my stuff' and 'God I'm gonna puke'.

Whoever kidnapped you really didn't think things through. Security was tight on the second floor but the bottom floor just had a single guy in the kitchen messing with a bag of crackers. You aimed your gun at him and click!

Click!

Clickclickclick!

Shit.

Well that caught his attention. You ducked down right when he reached for his gun, tossing your empty one to the side now that you'd be doing this the hard way. Waiting with bated breath, you took your window of opportunity, lunging when he had to reload. You took him by such surprise that he fumbled to put in another magazine and that allowed you to knock the weapon from his hands and tackle him to the ground. The both of you struggled on the hardwood floors for what felt like hours, but it was only a minute at most. Even in your feverish, dizzy, survival-instincts-only state, you overpowered him and stabbed him with his own knife.

Towering over the body, you gasped for breath, feeling your lungs struggling to expand and contract if you didn't force yourself to focus on the task. Great, now you're sweaty, weak, bloody, and out of breath. Based on how your hands started trembling, your symptoms were getting worse. Pacing around the area, you found your bag on a couch and fished around for the radio, yelling out your callsign before the rest of them would discover why their friends were suddenly so silent over comms.

"Sending coordinates, get a chopper over to exfil ASAP. And a damn medic."

The 141 were back from their own mission when they had heard the news of your distress call. Ghost was on the verge of strangling one of men that was on the team with you if they didn't add the fact that you made a reckless move for the sake of the team. Ghost could agree that it was something that only you would do despite his constant arguing with you and his protectiveness over you. He'd keep an eye out for you from the shadows both on base and in the field, be the one to challenge you to push your limits during your sparring matches, make sure you were well-trained so you could protect yourself. And yet you would instead protect the 141's asses countless times.

Ghost was brooding in the helicopter, well, more like sulking after a mission with you and Soap. During the crossfire, he wasn't able to keep an eye out for his flank and see the grenade flying for him. In a desperate move, you shoved him out of the blast range with all your strength, landing you with a couple burns and injuries, but nothing fatal. You knew he was going to get moody afterwards, giving a knowing glance to Soap before turning back to Ghost and nudging his leg with your boot.

"Hey, L.T, you were in the British S.A.S, right?"

"..."

"Just answer the question! C'mon Ghost, for me? Pleaaaase?"

"Affirmative."

"So back then, if you were to get bathroom duty, would they call you a Loo-tenant?"

"... negative. Was promoted after joining the 141." He turned his head away, and despite his blunt, by-the-book response, you knew he was smirking under that mask of his, especially with how Johnny and you were both snickering your asses off.

"Ghost?"

Simon snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at Soap, visibly concerned for the masked man but reading him all at the same time. Years of working together helped Soap get over the boundary of Ghost's silence and stoicism, and Ghost wasn't the only one looking out for you after all.

"You alright, L.T?"

"Solid, just need a talk with Price."

"I know what you're thinkin', and as much as I'd love to shove it to the bastards, they're going to need us when they come back. Price will come up with something, we just hafta wait 'til then." For once, Soap was the voice of reason and Ghost couldn't argue with his point.

"He's right, you know." Price stood a few feet away from the two in the hall, "Kid's capable of themselves but they're going to need a shoulder to lean on when they get here. Maybe a couple stitches, too."

Price hoped it was only going to be a few stitches. Though he knew it probably wasn't the case. Alongside Roach and Gaz, he had trained you for these situations, ensuring it would never happen and it never did thanks to his mentorship. He saw you as one of his own and ensured that you'd be able to fight tooth and nail so that it would never end up like this. But now that it has, he could only wonder what could've been done to you for you to get captured.

He didn't want to wonder.

"Bloody hell, what did they do to you?" Gaz muttered, watching as you stepped down the ramp with a soldier aiding at your side. There was an attempt to bandage you up on the way, though it only seemed to be temporary since your bandages were already stained with blood and some of it oozed out. Even the bandages around your head didn't stop the crimson liquid from spilling down the side of your face. The soldier passed you to Gaz, immediately urging that your injuries be tended to.

"Something's wrong, look." Roach helped support your other side to allow Gaz to examine you.

With a closer look, Gaz found that your pupils were disturbingly dilated, eyes glazed over in a way that made you almost look dead. You were muttering and mumbling nonsense under your breath, something about the mission and wanting to go home.

Gaz swallowed an anxious breath and nodded, "We'll get you home soon, buddy. Roach, help me take off their gear."

As soon as the other man began unclipping your vest from your body, it seemed something had pulled a trigger in you.

"No... no you're not- don't fucking touch me-!" You slurred, weakly tearing yourself from the hands of your friends. It surprised Gaz that you had the energy to punch his chest with that much force, but it broke his heart all at the same time. Roach guessed that you were so out of it that you could barely comprehend your surroundings, hell, you probably thought you were still in captivity. It hurt to imagine your perspective, and how vulnerable you felt, thinking they were your enemies.

"What's going on here?" Price's voice rose over all the noise as people tried to calm you down, Soap and Ghost following behind him along with Alejandro, who joined them with no hesitance after hearing what happened.

Roach approached them, "I don't know, the Sergent just came back like this, like they're in some kind of haze."

"They're drugged, at least, I think. I took a look at them and they don't even look like they recognize us," Gaz struggled to keep you from falling but you were insistent on getting away from him, from everyone. Thankfully, Ghost had come up from behind you without being noticed and locked you in a hold. You tried to flail even more, but with your weakened state and Ghost's strength, all you could do was yell with sloppy words for him to let go of you. It hurt them all to hear you yowl and yelp like an animal in pain, but they knew that you'd only hurt yourself more if Ghost didn't keep you like this. He forced himself to ignore your cries and clenched his jaw, focusing on keeping his temper and how he was going to let it out when given a chance.

"Steamin' Jesus, Price, I thought this was a cartel recon mission?" Soap seethed at the thought of what might've happened. Torture was one thing, but it was this whole new level of "fucked-up" that had him wanting to snap and tear at the throats of your tormentors.

"It was," Alejandro spoke up, "There was talk of a new drug on the market, released even though it was 'incomplete'. Nobody know that it was more dangerous than it was supposed to be, nobody outside of them." The words left a sour taste in his mouth. Cartels being reckless was nothing new to him, it was something he had seen time and time again. But it was the lack of awareness, the blatant disregard for safety and society, and how they betrayed their own people that made him livid. As a leader, he emphasized his loyalty and dedication to his soldiers, which was why he considered those who worked for and with him to be friends or even family, like you. So to him, if someone had messed with you, they were messing with him and his army as well.

Price glanced in the direction of you and Ghost for a moment, watching you finally begin to calm down from tiring yourself out. His gaze softened after you finally went limp, but still breathing, and he felt a pang of disappointment in himself for the briefest of moments. Maybe if he had known you'd leave so early in the day, he could've better prepared you. Maybe he should've assigned one of the others to join you so you wouldn't be in this predicament. But he didn't know. He didn't expect things would go this far south. None of them did.

"We'll finish the job first and then," Price took one last look as you were taken away on a stretcher, unconscious but writhing with a pained expression.

"We give them hell."

[planete777]

FREAK・⁠｡♪ LN4

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n is full of surprises and shows lando just how dirty she can be. (based on this ask)

WARNINGS. 18+, MINORS DNI, reader x brother'sbsf!lando, riding, mentions of sex toys, high hotness part 3464476, lando is lowkey in love with the reader, getting caught... but not really getting caught.

NOTE. my dearest anon requested and i HAD to write this. my last high!lando installment probably for a while because the summer is coming to an end 😭 i do have one more other fic coming tho, so stay tuned. anyways enjoy luvss <3 also credit to @lesbiacebian for the dividers.

"are you really slagging me off for your girlfriend?"

lando's voice is incredulous, syllables barely pristine as the weed in his head breaks down any cohesion left. the hand pinching the spliff falls to the bed as he sits up, staring at his unmoving best friend.

"she just texted me, i'm not gonna ditch her for you, lando, no offence."

"all taken," he grumbles, then moves to take a harsh inhale of his joint. he may be completely high out of his fucking wits, but he's certainly not pliable like that. he came to get so faded with his friend (and, second to name, supplier) that his brain would feel like it's being suspended over a grill and burned with smoke.

"well," lando sees him shrug half heartedly, "she's putting something on the line for her late night endeavours."

lando scoffs, taking another godforsaken drag. pussy, he thinks, he's getting fucking pussy.

"you're a nasty piece of shit, you know that?"

the boy ahead of him waves him off, "better start going mate, she'll be here any minute."

lando stares blankly at him for so long his eyes begin to unfocus, before he's shaking his head, sliding off the sheets. what a dickhead.

"fine whatever." he opens the door, taking an inhale and exhale of the joint wedged in his lips, and he descends the carpeted stairs with little sentience. his limbs feel dismembered and he can barely perceive the distance from on step to another, but he reaches the ground floor anyways, making his way to the living room.

he guessed he'd find her here, practically one with the couch and eyes welded to the tv screen glimmering with another uninteresting reality show.

the light's off, and considering he could barely walk in a straight line due to the blunt puffing out smoke from his mouth, he doesn't notice y/n turning towards him, pressing pause on the tv.

"lando, hey."

her voice is light, as if she's afraid of disturbing the night, and she swings her legs off the couch. lando subtly scrutinizes what she wears, a tight tank top, and equally as tight shorts, and he begins to feel blood rush to his dick.

"hey," he smirks with the blunt still in his mouth, and shuffles towards the now empty space beside the girl who had him thinking with his dick. he forces the thoughts away, he's not acquainted with the whole corruption kink thing, and y/n screams bloody virgin.

"what brings you here, high out of your mind?" she's staring intensely, as if a blink would make him vanish, grinning light-heartedly.

lando chuckles, taking a long drag, "your brother wanted to get laid, and i'm sure not a voyeurist."

even the thought of it makes y/n grimace, "point made," she curls her legs back unto the couch as lando's eyes follow her.

it's not long before the sound of the doorbell ringing shrills once, dragged until the duration of it could barely hit it being a nuisance. y/n's brother tumbles down the stairs, opening the door with much vigour before dragging her up the stairs with hurrief footsteps. the whole ordeal plays out with silence between y/n and lando, hearing the ruckus with barely concealed amusement, and is cut dead once the bedroom door slams.

"i do not want to hear all that," y/n groans, "his room is right above this one."

"happens when you're pussy whipped like him," lando huffs out a cloud of smoke, "forget who the fuck is around."

"you know you can... go back home," y/n's sceptical, and rightfully so because lando has no idea why he's staying. nevertheless, he makes up an incomplete incentive that sounded valid only in his head.

"i know, but i'm high as fuck and walking in this heat home... yeah no."

his neck flexes as he sucks in as much weed as he can, and y/n watched avidly. something about seeing lando at the mercy of his inhibitions, eyes so red that wherever he looks, he paints it crimson, and lips selling his soul away to the strings of smoke. he's too out if it to notice y/n's assessment, with his head sunken into the couch behind him, and it makes the girl laugh.

"you're gone, aren't you?"

lando does nothing but smirk affirmatively, before limply taking another drag.

"and i could definitely do with a bed to sleep on," he pushes a sound out of his throat, "your brother... fucker, he is."

"for sure," y/n agrees then shuffles to get up, patting lando's thigh. he flitters his eyes open in surprise, diluted, however, because of his lack of level headedness, "what?"

"just this once, i'll give you my bed."

"really?" the word is chipped between his teeth from the burn scarred into the back of his throat.

"yeah," she smiles. lando pretends he doesn't feel his heart grin with her.

"i'm feeling nice today."

he stands up, stretches and feels his joints scream out inexplicable noises. the bed seems like paradise now.

"oh mint, thank you."

receiving a hum in return, he follows the girl up the stairs, praying that his legs don't give way. his mind dozes off as they get to the landing, and it's only when he trails behind her inside, on autopilot, and she shuts the door, does his conscience focus like accomodating vision.

"i need to go the bathroom, one sec."

his mind has one whiplash after another as he process her rapid disappearance, before tuning back into the room. it's tame, like any young adult room would be, with half-wave plant bunting snaking around her room. her headboard, however, glows white, abd he figures it's from the leds stuck under the rim.

he walks up to the bedside tableand picks up a small framed picture of her and her brother. young, they were, standing side by side with identical sunglasses on. he smiles, then situates it back.

the drawer beneath is open, just enough for him to slip his hand through and open it, but of everything he could presume to find, he does not expect to meet a clear purple dildo, thicker and longer than biologically possible. he feels like there's a broken wire in his brain, hanging and tickling just where it triggers his dick to harden.

he doesn't know why he's enthralled by it, staring at the phallic toy as if it would magically display the images of it being pushed and pressed into y/n, but then he finds himself wishing so. corruption was never his thing, but now it doesn't have to be. because y/n is already debauched from the hot inside, to the deceiving out.

he stands there, idle, and it pushes a huff of laughter from behind him.

"you can get in the bed, lando," she pronounces like he's a formative infant. but he's not moving.

"what is this, y/n?"

he can't see her face fall, confused, but he hears it in the way she speaks, "what?"

then he's storming to her, standing just before her with a burning look. y/n's not stupid, can tell the way he's turned on but whatever he's seen, if not by the way his eyes flick down to her lips, then by the bulge that pokes her peripheral vision, and it's that her eyes widen in shock.

"oh fuck."

"oh fuck indeed," he takes a final drag before quelling it on the desk behind her, "who knew you were shoving 8 inch dildos up your pussy?"

y/n knows where to push his buttons, get the heat rising like a flood of lava just before it turns into a battle of who will give in first?

her arms are wrapping themselves around his shoulders, pulling him in, "and who knew," a hand, calculative and slow, slides down to press the hard on in his jeans, "you would get turned on by it?"

then he's kissing her, hard, wet, messy, with tongues and soft lips eager for each other like they were quenching years of thirst. lando takes everything that y/n gives him, lapping at her tongue and biting at her lips with unrestricted composure.

she's pushing him back, hands scrambling on his top to get it off, and when she does, gives him a final nudge to the chest that has him flying to the bed.

he smirks up at her, watching as she dwindles to nakedness and lando thinks that he can't be seeing this. y/n, in front of him, stripping as if it's a private show, with her brother just a few doors down. it's fucking filthy, and makes him hot all over.

"you gonna suck me off?"

he'd found a way, though he feels semi paralyzed, to rid himself of his jeans, slowly jerking his dick as precum begins to trickle down his skin.

"want to, but i need your dick inside me," y/n says, all breathy and pent up, causing lando to groan as she crawls her way up his thighs.

"fuck, you're gonna kill me." his heart is accelerating in his chest, the libido in him heightens as y/n chuckles at him and takes his dick out of his own hand and he feels completely brainless.

"you ready?"

all he can muster is a nod, and then hot fucking tightness. their moans are akin in volume, elastic and lewd, and as y/n slips further down, lando's dick feels completely rock hard and throbs as he swears every gallon of his blood pools at his cock.

"fucking hell, you're tight, y/n," his mouth feels wet and dry simultaneously and he squeezes his eyes shut as she begins to roll her hips and press down hard.

she bounces and grinds like she's meant for it, and lando can't process that sweet, innocent y/n is bouncing on his dick, squeezing him like she wants to keep him there.

his hands grip her ass, thrusting upwards to meet her hips and the cacophony of slapping skin snaps any vocal composure in him. lando moans like he's being eaten by pleasure itself and y/n grinds and grinds and grinds.

"fuck, lando," her head is thrown back like it's completely broken, and lando preens.

"you're so fucking good for me, y/n, keep going," he can't hold back, feels his hands grip her hips and her ass careening into his thighs with every bounce and, fuck, it's so dirty and so good.

y/n looks slutted out, debauched as she splits herself on his cock. it sends lando tipping over the edge, about to cum fast and deep, when a harsh knocking pounds into the door.

they both freeze, panting as sweat licks heat into their flesh.

"for fuck's sake, keep it down! some people are trying to sleep!"

it's shortly followed by angry footsteps and a slam of a door.

lando, still hard and pulsating in y/n's cunt, has a face of bewilderment, "shit— i forgot he was there."

y/n turns back, smirking, and slowly rolling her hips again, "and continue to do so. now fuck me, lando."

[cece693]

Ok uh Hi am new to this I just saw the " brilliant " fic which was 👏🏻👏🏻. Sooo I was wondering if u can make a fluff fic about clint barton x male reader, if thats ok with you?

Farm Boy (Clint Barton x Male Reader)

Hello! I'm actually not that much of a Hawkeye fan so it took me a while to write this and find motivation, but I think it turned out alright. Hope you enjoy it!

Clint Barton rarely got a day off. Between Avengers missions, SHIELD calls, and the occasional intergalactic catastrophe, his time at home was precious and fleeting. But today? Today was all his. All theirs. The sun was just peeking over the horizon when Clint stretched out in bed, the familiar creak of the old farmhouse adding to the peaceful ambiance. Beside him, you were still curled up in the covers, your hair tousled and your breathing soft. Clint smiled lazily, taking a moment to watch you before slipping out of bed as quietly as he could.

The kitchen smelled like coffee and bacon a half hour later. Clint hummed to himself as he flipped pancakes, a skill honed over years of needing to impress his husband after burning a few too many breakfasts in the early days of your relationship.

“Is that bacon I smell, or am I dreaming?” Your groggy voice drifted into the kitchen, accompanied by the sound of your socked feet shuffling across the hardwood floor.

Clint turned with a grin, a spatula in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. “Morning, sleepyhead. I figured I’d let you sleep in for once, but your stomach had other plans, huh?”

You chuckled, pulling him into a quick kiss before stealing the coffee. “You know me too well.”

The morning passed in a haze of quiet domesticity. Clint insisted on dragging you outside after breakfast, despite your protests about the slight chill in the autumn air. The two of you spent hours tending to the garden, chasing a rogue chicken that had escaped its coop, and splitting logs for the fire pit. It wasn’t glamorous, but that was the point. It was simple, real, and yours.

By late afternoon, the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the farm. Clint had convinced you to take a break on the porch swing, a thick blanket draped over both your laps. He leaned back, one arm around your shoulders, the other hand fiddling with a mug of cider.

“This,” Clint said, breaking the comfortable silence, “is what I miss the most when I’m away. Just being here with you. No explosions, no supervillains, no crazy missions. Just us.”

You smiled, leaning into his side. “You’re going to make me cry.”

“Don’t cry, babe. I’ll just have to kiss it all better, and that sounds like a lot of work,” he teased, though his lips were already pressing a tender kiss to your temple.

You turned to face him, eyes soft as you brushed a hand through his hair. “You know you’re a lot more than just Hawkeye to me, right? You’re my Clint. My husband. The guy who makes terrible pancakes and hogs the blanket at night.”

He smirked. “Terrible pancakes? You ate three of them this morning.”

“Details,” you replied with a grin, leaning up to kiss him. Clint melted into it, his hand coming up to cradle your face, the moment stretching out like a scene from a romance movie.

As the sky turned shades of pink and orange, Clint sighed contentedly, pulling you closer. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this life with you, but I’m not letting it go. Ever.”

You rested your head on his shoulder, your fingers intertwining with his. “Good. Because I’m not letting you go, either.” The two of you stayed on the porch swing long after the sun disappeared, wrapped in each other’s warmth, soaking up every second of Clint’s rare, perfect day off.

[hey-august]

Saw the cuteness aggression post you reblogged and would feel blessed if you ever wrote whump fic with Buggy because I would ALSO love to try and comfort a man who just staggered into the room bloody, beaten and bruised, clearly just thumbling over the threshold of “show no weakness” to “in so much pain he doesn’t even care anymore that he’s hiccuping and sobbing like a child while clinging to you” hurt comfort with heavy emphasis on the hurt? Yes pls

Anon, I'm so so sorry for how long it took me to get to this. I love me some angst and whump, and while I had ideas, the motivation to write was not working with me.

I don't want to keep holding onto this and leave you hanging for even longer, so I wrote out my idea in bullet point format.

I hope this still hits the spot!

WC: ~550 Warnings: buggy x gn!reader, mentions of blood and burn wounds

You and Buggy have an unspoken thing. A mutual pining. There's respect and some affection. A closeness, but still distance and a barrier that neither of you acknowledge.

You're the ship's doctor and the crew was in a rough fight. Lots of injuries, ranging from minor scuffs, to teeth knocked out, stitches, broken noses and broken bones, blood and tears - it's a lot in a short period of time.

You're doing what you can, and those who are less injured are helping where they can.

Once you get through those involved, the captain is the last one left needing your attention.

Maybe he's been sitting nearby the whole time, waving away anyone coming to triage or check on him, snapping that he's fine. Get the hell away from him.

But when the room empties, Buggy crumbles. It starts small, bit by bit as you assess him.

His busted lip is split and bleeding, the color mixing with his smeared lipstick. His right eye is swelling. His beautiful hair is singed. The affected tips are stuck in terrified curls from trying to run from the heat. The smell is clinging everywhere.

But the worst are the burns. You're not sure what happened - some of the other crewmembers had burns and scorch marks, but not like this.

Your captain has some rough wounds on his arms and torso, where the heat ate away at the fabric before feeding on his skin and flesh.

He's wet and sticky. Swaths of skin are weeping. Buggy's feeling exposed, tender, and hurt. Pain is radiating out while regret and fear are falling inwards.

All it takes is one soft comment from you. "You must be in so much pain." You were talking to yourself, but it's the acknowledgement that Buggy must have needed.

The eyes that had been avoiding yours, stopped holding back tears. His clenched jaw and tight lips quiver. He nods.

You can't fathom how much it hurts to move, but Buggy has his arms wrapped tightly around your midsection. His hands are clutching your clothes, pulling them taut. It's like he's a cracked vessel, losing liquid and life, but maybe you can keep him together. Maybe you could fix him. And if not, he wouldn't be alone as he breaks.

Hurting more is often part of getting better. You know this, and you let it happen.

You let Buggy cry against you. You let his tears, snot, spittle, and worries seep into your clothes. You hold the back of his head and put a hand on his back, and rub. You let your own stinging tears fall.

Noises get caught in his throat and Buggy fixes his hold, as if he's trying to wrap himself around you even more. As if he's trying to squeeze every drop of comfort and care from you.

His hands are detached, fingers stretched and probably barely connected, all so he can hold more of you. Even his feet are shuffling, seeking contact against yours. His knees knocking against your legs.

Buggy continues until he's hiccupping and coughing. Until he has a headache and his eyes are bleary.

You should have stopped him sooner. Some of the oozing wounds started to crust and are clinging to the fabric of your clothes.

Buggy whines and grunts as he literally peels himself away.

You still need to clean and dress the wounds, so another round of pain. One could argue that you should have gone ahead and done that right away, but no.

Despite the visible injuries, there's invisible damage that needed to be soothed.

You can almost see Buggy picking up his broken pieces and putting them back together. Recreating a wall, a mask, a barrier.

You know what's on the other side, though. And you will be there whenever he needs you.

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese Ficlet for y'all

I'm planning to take a break from AO3 for a little while, because I wrote 4 fics in 4 days and my head hurts. (I don't usually write anything this fast, but when I'm truly inspired, I'm a man on a fucking mission lol)

Here's a relatively short fic for you guys to enjoy while I'm gone. It's wholesome (for once). Hope whoever reads it enjoys it, whether they like this ship or not

Post-canon (technically), Burning Spice is no longer a threat to anyone, he's just an asshole who's down bad

"Hm? Golden Cheese eyed the envelope being handed to her critically. "And this is...?"

"For you," Burning Spice said. "It is a romantic holiday today, is it not? Is this not what couples do for one another in celebration?" "I don't recall us ever being a couple, Mr. Burning Spice," Golden Cheese muttered, crossing her arms and giving him a look. "So I'm not sure what possesses you to want to celebrate a day not meant for either of us." "You possess me, my little thief. That is all the motivation I need." He returned her look of annoyance with a look of cool confidence, giving her a flirtatious smile. "Regardless, why do you shun a heartfelt gift? Are gestures of admiration such as these not what you like to receive from others?"

"They are," Golden Cheese said, "But I can't imagine whatever you've brought to me being 'heartfelt'. In fact, I didn't realize that word even existed within your vocabulary before today." He chuckled at her little jab, much to her own furthered annoyance. "You wound me, pretty bird. Why do you judge me for my appearance? Why don't you read this and see for yourself what I am capable of?" "It's hardly your appearance. I've encountered far more brutish beings than you who turned out to be bigger sweethearts than Pure Vanilla." She sighed. "But... fine, very well. If you went to this trouble, I suppose I can entertain it this once." "Yes... please do, my little thief." His smile grew bigger. "Entertain me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but otherwise did nothing to challenge him further and took the envelope into her hands. It was surprisingly fancy; adorned with intricate little patterns that she recognized to be commonplace in Wild Spice artistry. When she opened it, the smell of spice reached her nose, causing her to sneeze. Burning Spice chuckled again, and she shot him a disapproving glare. He gave her a look of endearment, his eyes twinkling with mirth and mischief. He did not speak, but he did not need to; she knew exactly what he meant by that face, for he'd given it to her before, along with the words meant to describe it. You're so adorable when you sneeze.

Not wanting to encourage this sentiment any further, she turned her attention back to the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. A pale reddish-orange, scented with nutmeg and tumeric. The words were written with black ink - in quite good handwriting, much to her surprise. A very quick skim told her it was a poem. She brought her eyes back to the very top and started again, reading it diligently, word for word:

"You flaunt your beauty in the rose, your glory in the dawn, Your sweetness in the nightingale, your whiteness in the swan. You haunt my waking like a dream, my slumber like a moon, Pervade me like a musky scent, possess me like a tune. Yet, when I crave of you, my sweet, one tender moment's grace, You cry, 'I sit behind the veil, I cannot show my face'. Shall any foolish veil divide my longing from my bliss? Shall any fragile curtain hide your beauty from my kiss? What is this war of thee and me? Give o'er the wanton strife. You are the heart within my heart, the life within my life."

Golden Cheese's mouth hung slightly agape by the time she finished, her face hot and cheeks flushed so red that she was certain it could be seen even all the way back home. "Burning Spice," she began. "I..." "You...?" he asked back, clearly enjoying the look on her face far too much. She stood silent for a moment longer before she collected herself. "It's... this is lovely," she said. "I don't know what to say. I... I truly did not think you were ever capable of something like this." "That's alright, pretty bird. Your eyes say enough." Oh, if only that blasted smile of his would fall away already. It was making her feel even stranger. "You and your people aren't the only ones with silver tongues in your mouths."

She hadn't been insulting the Wild Spices earlier, she had been insulting him - but even so, she had no choice but to admit her folly. "Fair enough," she said. "I was wrong to judge you so harshly. If I may gift you with something in return, it's with me saying that this would fit in among the works of my own kingdom's finest poets." "Would it, now? Such high praise, coming from you," Burning Spice purred. "But I'm afraid I'd rather you gift me with something else." "Oh?" She tilted her head at him. "And what would that be?" He answered her by coming closer, closer, until they stood toe to toe and his face was not so far from hers anymore. "I think you know," he said. He cupped her chin. "Or shall you let a veil divide us any longer?"

At this, Golden Cheese said nothing. She only let him tilt her head up gently, and her eyes flutter shut, as he leaned down and captured her lips with his own. Burning Spice kissed her sweetly, tenderly - so unlike what she expected of him, such a feeling and taste she never thought she'd find within spice like his. He licked at her lips, soft but still forceful enough to be noticed, politely asking for entry - and she obliged him, parting her lips and sighing into their kiss as his tongue slipped into her mouth and caressed her own. She felt a hand touch hers, rough fingers ghost against her skin, and she obliged him again, taking his hand into her own and lacing their fingers together. When they parted, he lingered there for a little while longer, their now half-lidded eyes locked and foreheads touching. The fire that always burned so bright in his eyes was now brought down to a smolder, reminding her more of the warmth of a fireplace than a scorching inferno. She could still feel his breath, taste it: hot and spicy, a shock to her senses. But... it wasn't so bad. It wasn't bad at all, actually. ...But he didn't need to know that. She'd fed his ego enough for one day.

"My little golden thief," he purred. "I thank you. Your gift is as lovely as mine." "...You're welcome," she murmured. "But... don't expect any more like it." "I won't," he said, that familiar sharp-toothed smile creeping back across his face, "Just the same as you expected me to give you something crude and mediocre." Her eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up in surprise, both at his words and the little jab hidden behind them. She opened her mouth to retort - but he cut her off before she could by kissing her again. Lightning fast, but still hot and rough, stealing the breath from her lungs. When he pulled back, that godforsaken grin came back in full force, stretching from ear to ear. "See?" he asked playfully. She chose not to respond this time, instead only huffing at him. Such audacity need not be dignified in such a manner. (And it wasn't because she had no real rebuttal to give him. Really. Honest.)

He gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go and stepping back again, giving her back her personal space. "Well, then," he said. "I shall give you one last gift by allowing you to enjoy the rest of this day on your own terms." "How kind of you, Burning Spice," Golden Cheese said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Once again, you surprise me with your words and actions." "Golden Cheese..." He turned his back and peeked at her from over his shoulder, his eyes burning bright once again. "I intend to keep surprising you as many times as you'll allow." With that said, he turned and began walking away. She watched him leave with her arms crossed, staring daggers at the back of his head as he left. Finally, she was free. No more of his nonsense; she can bask in light and peace again.

And yet, his parting words still rang in her ears. "I intend to keep surprising you as many times as you'll allow." Just where did he get this brazenness from? Wherever he cultivated it, she wanted the earth salted and burned. After everything that's happened, after her granting him a goddess's mercy by allowing him to continue existing in her life after all was said and done, and he repays her with this never-ending foolishness? Well, she could commend his stubbornness, if nothing else. But this time was a step too far. This was the first Valentine's Day gift she's ever received from him, and it shall be the last. Next time, she will turn him away without remorse. Won't she?

She turned her eyes back to the paper in her hand. To the beautiful envelope that had housed it. To the poem inscribed on the page, that serenaded her without making a single sound. Golden Cheese, against her own better judgment, brought the poem back closer to her face and read it a second time. When she finished, she tucked it back into the envelope - carefully, so it wouldn't tear. And then she sighed. ...No. No, she won't.

---------------------------------------

The poem here is "Humayun to Zobeida" from the poetry collection "The Golden Threshold" (bet you know why I chose a poem from there lol), all written by Indian poet Sarojini Naidu. Please check it out if/when you can, her works are lovely and you can read them for free online (also a lot of the poems give me BurningCheese feels, especially "To the God of Pain")

Y'all let me know if you enjoyed this, I thought of a sequel and I'll write and post it if you want

[thewinchestah]

"INTERMISSION" - ALASTOR X READER

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: ,18+, Smut, NSFW, edging, BDSM, Alastor does what he wants, there's plot if you squint really hard, alastor in heat, breeding kink, Possesive! Alastor, Jealous!Alastor, Protective!Alastor, masturbation, I didn't proof read this, english isn't my first language, no beta we die like men here, etc etc etC

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Part I  | Part 2  | Part 4

A/N: Hello,hello everyone! Again, thank you all so much for the amazing reception to "Good things come for those who wait". I'm truly touched by your words and praise. I never really tought my writing would see the light of day at this point, nor this much love. My biggest thanks to everyone who takes the time to leave a comment.

So, I'm a bit self concious about this piece. "Intermission" is supossed to be a light break from the previous two fics. A breath of fresh, sex smelling air as I write the next long chapter. (It's gonna be nasty). My intent with this fic was to make it kinda chaotic, kinda rushed like Alastor's mind would be as he masturbates himself at the thought of you and what you are doing to him.

I truly hope I can do your hopes and expectations for my writting justice. I really appreciate feedback on this one.

As always, my special thanks goe to my lovely friend @smallershorteranduncut, who always support my ideas. Te amo amiga <3

Taglist: @markster666 @jyoongim @stygianoir  @pepperycookie @fraspent @aether-th3-enby  @lady-valtieri . If the tags aren't working or you wanna be tagged, let me know.

PART I | PART II

-

Alastor considered himself a smart man, a cunning, self-sufficient, resourceful man. So, naturally, the irony of him being locked inside the bathroom, his cock in his hands while he tortures himself with thoughts of you made him frustrated at best, murderous at worst. 

He hates everything about it, he hates to admit that his rut indeed makes him on edge and out of control, he hates to admit that before he met you the ways he dealt with his rut were… undignified. And he hates even more admitting that since he had you at his every whim, to fuck, to breed, to inflict the most depraved ways of torture his rut was becoming a pleasurable thing. All because of you, only because of you.

He had quite literally just fucked you so hard you passed out, his name a scream on your lips, so loud heaven might have heard it. Some part of Alastor wishes that heaven heard it, so they know they made a mistake, so they know they let one of the most sacred things to exist get down here. In hell, with him. Your heavenly body is his to do as he pleases, to break it, desecrate its holiness as he fucks you into submission, granting him a relief so pure, so all consuming that it shouldn’t even be allowed in hell. And they will never correct this mistake.

Some part of Alastor wishes no know never knew about how you always make a mess of yourself for him, how you gladly sprawl yourself open for him, eyes lustful and hopeful that if you let him take it out just a little more on you tonight he will send you over the edge with those two little words: good. girl. 

And what a perfect good girl you were, doe eyes always seeking for his across any room, with adoration, with barely hidden lust, with love. Such a contrast when compared to his eyes, burning red from desire, anger, lack of empathy. Red condescending eyes filled with excitement about what he is going to do to you, what he is making you endure for him.

It doesn’t make it any easier on Alastor’s painfully hard cock that you are sleeping just a door away after a rough fuck, his seed still coating your thighs.

He flicks his wrist up and down his shaft, slowly. 

Just as slow as how his cock stretched your tight cunt, inch by inch when he first took you.  You weren’t nearly as wet as you should be for the first time taking his cock but you darling thing decided to break one of his rules. Your legs desperately spreading in a futile attempt to accommodate him, the delicious fear in your eyes as you realized what you’ve gotten yourself into, completely at his mercy, enduring the pain of being broken by his monster cock. The scream you let out when he buried himself to the hilt inside you, you liked it even when it was hurting, because the pain Alastor inflicted on you was ten times better than any pleasure your silly mortal lovers had ever given you. 

The Radio Demon has a knuckle white grip on his cock now, even with hands as big as his, Alastor is having trouble fully closing his hand around the swollen member, his need to claim, to mark, to breed you strong as ever. Precum leaks for the engorged red tip and a hiss escapes his lips, the feeling of powerlessness consuming him in waves of a maddening, unprecedented carnality. The only thing the mighty demon overlord can do to mimic the divine feeling of your cunt being spreading the glossy drop around his overly sensitive tip, grip his cock even tighter as he strokes himself harder and faster, like a maniac. 

How the mighty have fallen, he thinks to himself, he’s completely cunt struck by you.

Naturally, he’s gonna make you pay for it. 

Alastor fucks himself fast and hard, trying to pic up the breakneck speed he usually does when he’s burying himself inside your heat, his grip sometimes painful. Exactly how the way he wants to be next time he fucks you.

The raw carnality consuming him is too overbearing, so overbearing he closes his burning red eyes as his brain process the severity of his situation: he found the perfect plaything, a deliciously submissive doe for him to breed until she’s numb with the feeling of his cock thrusting into her, completely filled up by his seed. It made his rut more bearable, it made his rut pleasurable, everytime he needed to scratch that primal need you’re always there, always ready to completely  submit to him, to completely ruin yourself for him. Alastor honestly thought having you always there, as fun as it was to toy with you that way, would make things better. But it actually made it worse. Because now he knows.

Oh fuck, now he knows.

More pre cum spills, running through Alastor’s claws, dripping and staining his pants, making a mess under him. But it’s not enough, because it will never be enough. It’s not your mess coating his cock, running through his claws, it’s not the sinful invitation of your wetness staining his clothes.

Realization hits him like a curse. 

His wrist flicks around his cock with a purpose: to find relief in pain. 

You’re the only thing he wants. You are the only woman he will ever want like that. You are the only one he wants to see the obscene amount of his seed dripping from a perfectly swollen red cunt. You are the only one who could possibly deserve this. Now he knows what it is like to feel, to want someone. To have an irrevocable connection. No one in heaven, hell, and all the other possible realms of creation have the right to even think of you in that way. You are his and that’s final.

Next time he takes you he will make sure you know that. 

Stroking himself erratically now, Alastor pictures you peacefully sleeping next door, luscious body sprawled on the bed like you don’t have a care in the world. He wants the first thing you feel when you open your eyes is fear. Good, you should feel scared. You should be very, very scared of what he is going to do to you. He hopes to relish in fear in your eyes as he enters your tight pussy, stretching your velvet walls apart in ways you’ve never felt before. Being obscenely broken to accommodate the girth of his rut swollen cock.

Fear, because you should be scared. Fear because you aren’t. Fear because as the realization that Alastor needs you terrifies him, the realization that you fucking love the pain of being a submissive slut to the Radio Demon will undo you, in unholy ways.

The scene of your ass on his lap, red with regret from his whipping and a symphony of your soft moans overrides his mind. You were sobbing from those little whips? He’s gonna double that. He’s gonna give you something to truly cry about. He’s gonna see you cum from the pain of being whipped into submission and his voice only. Because it is  what you deserve for making him feel like this. Because it is what you want.

He’s close now, he can tell. He’s gonna cum soon. And it is not going to be inside your pussy. Alastor is enraged about that. 

A clawed hand grips the wall besides him. He strokes himself at a merciless pace. Just as merciless as he is gonna be with you. He knows your body like the palm of the hand that is clawing the wall because of the maddening desire he has for you. He’s gonna lure you so you purposefully make a mistake. Just so you can give him the excuse to punish you into understanding that you are irrevocably his. He’s gonna take all of you as it is his right.

His cock twitches, claws scratch the posh wallpaper all the way down, he spills so much cum, all over his lap, his hand. 

The sight of Alastor’s flustered face, in post orgasmic daze after mercilessly touching himself at the thought of you is something you definitely should see. But he will never let you.

Because now his mind is clear, he knows it and delights in acceptance. You are his, his mate, his love. 

And he’s gonna take his sweet time torturing you into compliance and understanding. With pain, pleasure and all that is Alastor’s nature.

[siriusblackslefttoenail]

Okay… so this is my first fic and idk how to feel about it. I just kept writing so feedback is welcome, just don't hate on me lol. I tried really hard but I didn't completely proofread it so I'm so sorry if it's messed up in some spots. Also, my first time writing smut so idk I'm sorry if it's horrible. I'm also not super experienced with Tumblr so I don't have fancy dividers or anything :( If someone actually likes what I write I'll figure it out and make it look pretty!!

WC: 7,290

Warnings: SMUT, fast burn there's like no wait time tbh, kinda mentions family death (very briefly), shitty parents mentioned, female character, Bluna mentioned as well as Draco x Pansy, head (female receives), if I forgot any please tell me!!

Summary: Mattheo Riddle meets a girl who captivates him the moment he sees her. She doesn't recognize him until he tells her who he is. The tension breaks and they finally get together!

MUSE

Mattheo knew he was fucked from the moment he knew who and what his father was. Well, he was even more fucked when he had an older brother who was his dad’s right-hand man.

Don’t think that Tom and Uncle Lucius left Mattheo alone because of his lack of respect towards his father. It honestly made his life harder. Always had to sneak out for a smoke instead of just walking through the front door.

Currently, Mattheo is sneaking out through his window from the third floor of Malfoy Manor. He hasn’t yet decided if he wants to go to the roof or leave the grounds completely. The roof would be a safer bet.

Hoisting himself up to the roof he silently thanks his younger self for deciding to join quidditch. He wouldn’t have been able to make it anywhere if he didn’t have muscles.

Finally finding his regular spot he sits and lays his legs out. Takes the pack of cigarettes he’s got from his pocket and lights one with the lighter Theo gave him for his birthday a year ago.

He knew the lighter would soon run out of fuel and he’d need to get a new one. Being in 6th year Mattheo isn’t able to use his wand to light the cigarette so he resorts to the muggle lighters. He has to find a way to get muggle cash though.

While Mattheo’s smoking he hears a door slam. That can’t be good, usually, he’s the one slamming doors. He scoots to the edge of the roof and sees Tom standing on the front lawn. He’s probably looking for Mattheo.

While Mattheo quickly moves back to his spot he hears a girl's voice.

“Dad, I’ll be fine. As I said I know a boy here. He won’t do anything, just figure out your business deal and we can leave.”

Moving back to his previous spot to peer over the roof he sees you. Some girl getting out of a car he doesn’t know the brand of, in this black leather skirt and black long-sleeve top. The top of your boobs spill over lightly showing how tight the shirt is.

Fucking hell, who the fuck is this? Mattheo is questioning whether he should get down or not, that is until he sees Tom walk over to you and shake your hand.

“Tom, it’s good to see you again.” You’re talking to his brother, and you know him? Why doesn’t Mattheo know you? Are you in the same year as Tom?

“It’s good to see you too,” Tom responds and Mattheo watches as the two of you walk inside with your father.

****

Walking into Malfoy Manor I try to remember what Pansy told me about it. It’s old, practically prehistoric as Pansy said. Looking over to my right I see Tom, the same boy who helped me with Advanced Potions last year.

“Thanks for keeping me company while my dad works things out with Mr Malfoy.” I smile at him and he looks at me with the same stoic expression as always. Better than a grimace or a frown I suppose.

Both Tom and I hear footsteps coming down the staircase that’s to our left and turn to see a handsomely built curly-haired boy walk down in black Converse and an all-black outfit.

“That’s my younger brother, Mattheo,” Tom explains, sensing my confusion. Younger brother? How much younger? He’s fucking hot.

“Hi, I’m y/n” I introduce myself as he walks closer. He doesn’t look like Tom at all. Tom is very tall and skinny meanwhile Mattheo is thick and more short, he actually has muscle on him.

“Y/n that’s a pretty name.” He responds shaking my outstretched hand. I smile and give him a small thanks.

“I didn’t know you had a brother Tom.”

“I thought everyone did.” Tom just shrugs and keeps walking to the living room. We follow behind him and sit down on a big black leather couch that’s settled in front of a marble fireplace.

“I’m going into my sixth year,” Mattheo tells me and I smile.

“Why don’t I know you? I’m going into sixth too!”

“How do you know Tom then?”

“Oh, he helped me in Advanced Potions last year.”

“You were in 6th year advanced potions?” While he asks me with wide eyes I just nod and give Tom a smile. He’s not looking at me he’s looking straight at Mattheo. I’m guessing from the tension between them, that they’re not close.

“I play quidditch, I’m on the Slytherin team, I play as a beater.”

“Ah! You’re friends with Draco!” I finally recognize him. He just nods and looks away from me.

“I was partnered with Draco last year in Transfiguration. As well as Nott in Defense Against The Dark Arts!” I don’t know how I never noticed how handsome he was until I was right in front of him.

“Oh yeah, Theo’s my best friend.” Mattheo smiles and scratches his neck.

“Yes, he talked about you a lot. I just didn’t know you were related to Tom or what you looked like exactly. That’s why I didn’t recognize you.” All Mattheo does is nod and I hear Tom chuckle.

“Mattheo is too busy listening to his music and drawing in that silly book of his to even lift his head. I don’t blame you for not knowing who he was, he’s hardly there.” I look at Tom and then back at Mattheo who looks upset.

“What music do you listen to?” I ask moving closer to Mattheo. He releases a wide smile and we start talking about The Smiths and Queen, as well as The Cure. He seems sweet.

“I can’t believe I met a girl who listens to the same music as me.” Mattheo laughs incredulously.

I laugh with him and we notice how Tom got up and left the room. I look at Mattheo and he just shrugs.

“He’s moody. Maybe he’s jealous you’re paying more attention to me.” Mattheo says smirking at me.

“Why would he be jealous? What’s special about me?” I ask, confused

“Because you’re the only girl who talks to him. Well, that and you’re also attractive so it hurts his ego more.” Mattheo chuckles when he’s done talking and I look at him like he’s insane.

“Tom riddle thinking I’m attractive? What has the world come to?” I seriously ask but Mattheo laughs

“Well, it’s very rare to see a girl with Tom so he’ll try to flirt with you but you wouldn’t even know because he’s so bad at it. It must've stung him when you preferred his younger brother over him.” Mattheo is still laughing and I give an awkward chuckle.

“Well, there’s always other people out there for him. Just not me.” I say chuckling along with Mattheo

“Oh, you’re not? Who are you for, y/n?” Mattheo moves his face closer to mine laughing, I get nervous and look away.

“Well, I’m not sure yet but I know it’s not him.”

“Why not Tom?”

“He’s too... uptight and studious. I’m more laid back and I care about my grades but not as much as him. He also doesn’t like muggle things and I plan on living in the muggle world when I graduate.”

“You do? Why?”

“I’m not sure, I think they have brilliant ideas and inventions and I believe the muggle world has more to offer than the wizarding world.”

“I guess you’re right, where in the muggle world would you live?”

“Hmm, probably a big city like New York or Chicago.”

“Oh so in America?”

“Yes, America. I want to go around the States, they have so many beautiful things there.” Mattheo just nods and looks at the dancing fire in the dug-out marble fireplace.

“Y/n let’s go, I’ve finished.” I hear my dad behind me and both Mattheo and I turn to see him.

“Okay, Dad,” I say, rising from the couch and going to stand next to him.

“Nice to meet you, Tom.” My father says to Mattheo.

“Oh no, Dad that’s his younger brother Mattheo.” I laugh slightly

“Oh. Well, tell your brother it was nice meeting him.”

“Yes sir,” Mattheo responds getting up from the couch and walking to the front door to lead us out.

“Thanks, Mattheo, I’ll see you at school,” I say touching his arm lightly before walking out of the house. I swear I see his face blush and I feel heat pool in my stomach. Definitely need to get closer to him.

****

Boarding the train from summer break is always the worst. The station is always too stuffy and cramped. Then you get on the train and it’s even hotter. I’m waving my hand in front of my face in my compartment when the door opens and reveals Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson, my closest friends.

“It’s so hot in this god-forsaken train. You’d think with magic you could cool down a train.” Pansy complains sitting down and wiping her hairline.

I laugh and try to open the train window. Thank god this compartment has a working window. Both Daphne and I sigh as the window opens.

“Oh thank Merlin!” Daphne says moving closer to the window. We always get closer to the front of the train so we don’t have to see students and their families. It’s always too much noise.

The cabin door opening surprises us all.

“Hey, ladies!” Theodore Nott says placing himself right next to my thigh.

“Oh no no no. No way, it’s too hot in the train for the six of you to sit in here with us!” Pansy says pulling Theo up from his spot and pushing him back towards the door.

Draco laughs and puts Theo back next to me and sits next to Pansy.

“You’ll be alright love,” Draco smirks and places his arm around Pansy. She just groans and rolls her eyes knowing it’s no use trying to tell them to leave. I look back towards the door and Blaise has taken his spot next to Daphne and the wall.

Mattheo stands awkwardly with Tom, both of them looking at me. Lorenzo finds the spot next to Theo and both Tom and Mattheo roll their eyes.

They have to sit next to each other and not even by the window. All of our legs rub against each other as the two of them squeeze in.

“Holy shit, can you move over?” Mattheo asks Enzo and Theo.

“Not really no,” Lorenzo responds laughing. Mattheo groans and sits in between Daphne and Pansy.

“Oh!” Daphne says as Mattheo slightly shoves her into Blaise.

“Sorry.” He mumbles and looks out the window.

“So, how were everyone’s summers?” I ask lightly trying to diffuse the tension in the small compartment.

Blaise and Theo start to speak at the same time and eventually agree Theo can speak first.

“Mine was surprisingly very exciting, I went back to Italy by myself to visit my mother's side of the family for the first time since she passed, and my dad was gone almost the whole summer so I was able to do whatever I wanted without being berated!” I could tell in Theo’s voice he was hurting, he was being sarcastic to cover up his sadness about being alone and his mother passing.

When I was partnered with him last year he had opened up a bit and we would talk. I told him about my dad and he told me about his, he also told me about how his mother passed and it truly was a horrible death. I can’t even imagine how 10-year-old Theo coped with that.

Blaise speaks up next and explains how he had to go to his mom’s wedding for his 4th stepfather. He seems pretty over the whole stepdad thing, I mean if I had 4 I would be too. Blaise tells us how he got to go on a muggle cruise in the Caribbean. They stopped in the Bahamas and Cuba. He at least seemed very pleased with the trip his stepfather provided.

“That sounds nice Blaise,” I say smiling, my summer was pretty shitty but I don’t think anyone will ask if everyone says theirs first.

“How about yours?” Theo asks, everyone turning to me.

“Oh-ha it was good. Nothing special.” I try really hard not to sound like I’m lying but I think they all see through it.

“No seriously y/n, how was your summer?” Pansy asks her leg nudging mine lightly.

“I don’t wanna talk about it Pans.”

“Oh okay, no problem.” I look away when she says this so I don’t have to make eye contact with any of them. I don’t want to talk about the fight I had with my dad or the situationship I had with my neighbor.

I look out the window for the beginning of the train ride. I look around the cabin and everyone is either entertaining themselves or talking with someone. Mattheo is drawing with headphones on.

I lift my foot and nudge his shin. He looks up and I nod my head toward the cabin door, hinting at him for us to go somewhere else. He nods at me and puts his headphones away. I nudge his shin again and hint at him to bring the headphones.

“I’m going to the bathroom; I’ll be back,” I say, standing up and slightly running my hand over Mattheo’s shoulder on my way out. I walk away from the cabin door to be out of sight. I watch as Mattheo gets up without saying anything, sketchbook and headphones in hand.

“What’s up?” He asks following me as I move through the aisle.

“I wanted to be with you one on one, you have a problem with that Riddle?”

“No ma’am,” I smirk when he says that, he’s so sassy. I find an empty compartment (surprisingly) and sit down on the bench to the left of the door, Mattheo sits across from me on the other.

“What were you listening to?” I ask laying my legs out on the bench, sitting sideways.

“Just a mix of mine.”

“I’m asking what song, Riddle,” I smirk at him as he adjusts his position, putting his sketchbook beside him.

“Oh, Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths.” I nod at him and reach to grab his Walkman and headphones.

He lets go of them and lets me put the headphones on, I hit the play button and hear the music through the speakers. The volume is at the highest it could be set to.

“Why do you keep the volume so high?” I ask taking the Walkman off and giving it back to him.

“I don’t know, don’t like hearing anything else. I guess.” He shrugs and puts the Walkman beside him as well. I nod and look at his Converse, there are black drawings on the soles of them.

“What do you draw?” I ask looking back up at him, nodding to his shoes and the sketchbook.

“Not much, just people and landscapes, sometimes random objects.” He shrugs again and looks away from me to his shoes. I can’t tell if it’s out of embarrassment or something else.

“Can I see?”

“What?”

“Could I see your drawings?” I ask again

“Uh sure, I guess, if you want.” He grabs his sketchbook and hands it to me. I open a random page and rest the book on my lap. The page I opened has a bird on it, a raven or maybe a crow. I skip to the next page and see a detailed snake wrapped around an old-looking book. He’s very talented.

“You’re good at drawing.” I look up at him and see the apples of his cheeks turn rosy.

“Thanks.”

“I gotta give credit where it’s due.” I chuckle and move to another page. This one has a girl on it, I haven’t seen her before but I guess it could be anyone since it’s a side profile.

“Do you draw anyone specific?”

“Not really, it’s usually just people I think of in my head. I’ve drawn Blaise and Theo before though.”

“Could you draw me?”

“What?” He stutters in awe

“I asked if you could draw me, if not I get it. I’m not much of a muse but your drawings are beautiful and I’d like to see how you view me. I’ve always wanted to be good at drawing.” I smile at him and hand his book back.

“Um, I’d love to draw you. I could teach you some small things too if you’d like.” I see him get nervous slightly and it makes me laugh lightly.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me Mattheo, I’m not going to bite unless you ask me to.” I joke and give him a playful wink before looking out at the mountains through the window.

“I’m not nervous!” He defends himself quickly and clears his throat. I just give a small laugh and get up to sit next to him.

“I’m not gonna judge you Mattheo.” I move his Walkman and sketchbook before sitting down.

“I know, I never thought you would.”

“I like you. You’re cute.”

“What?”

“You’re sweet, I think you’re cool.” I worded it differently this time realizing that it sounded like I fancied him.

“Oh.” He almost seems disappointed when I clarify myself. I look him in the eyes and this is the closest we’ve been since the beginning of summer. He’s pretty to look at.

He has a scar running across the bridge of his nose and a scar through his eyebrow. I wonder if they have something to do with his dad. I don’t ask because we’re not that close yet and if he wants to tell me he will. I find his scars attractive.

“I like your scars,” I say running my finger over the one on his nose.

“Really?”

“Yeah, they make you look badass.” We both laugh and I trace the other small scars with my finger. There’s one on his cheek and one by his eye. I hope they don’t have anything to do with his dad.

“You’re not gonna ask where I got them?”

“No, because if you want to tell me you will. I won’t push.” He just smiles at me and his big brown eyes almost shine as he looks at me. Our faces are so close his nose is almost touching mine. I clear my throat and move back towards the window.

“We should probably head back.” I hear him say and grab his things.

“Yeah.” I get up and follow him through the train to get back to the compartment. When we get there we see Pansy asleep on Draco’s shoulder and Daphne talking with Theo and Enzo. Blaise and Tom are doing their thing. They all look up beside Pansy when we walk in.

“Where were you guys?” Theo asks moving towards Tom to give me my spot back.

“We took a walk,” I respond, sitting down and smiling at Enzo and Theo.

“Oh okay. Tom told us you listen to the same music as Mattheo.” Draco tells me

“I do, we talked about it when I saw him and Tom over the summer.”

“When were you over during the summer?” Draco asks since they also live in Malfoy Manor.

“It was at the beginning of the summer, my dad had a business deal with your dad so I accompanied him.”

“Oh, I must’ve been with Pansy.” As Draco says that Mattheo confirms and says Draco was with Pansy that day.

“Well, that’s a good thing that someone likes the same things as mattheo,” Enzo says smiling at me

“Whys that?” Mattheo lets out, nudging Enzo with his Converse.

“You get lonely sometimes when we hang out with other people. Like Blaise and Luna, Draco and Pansy.” Enzo responds

“So you’re saying a girlfriend,” I ask Enzo

“Kind of? But you don’t have to date for you guys to be friends. It’s just having someone that’s not us, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” I respond smiling at Mattheo. He doesn't meet my gaze.

“We’ll be at Hogwarts soon,” Blaise says looking out the window. I nod and grab my bag from under the seat to put it in my lap.

****

Sitting in the great hall was always lonely because I’m a Ravenclaw and many Ravenclaws don’t like me because of my father’s reputation. I usually sit by myself since other house students can’t sit with each other. It’s a stupid rule, they want us to connect but we can’t sit together? Make it make sense.

I look up from my spot and look for Daphne and Pansy at their table but instead of seeing them, I see Mattheo looking at me. I give a small wave and a smile. He smiles back and it's the first time I've seen him smile. Seeing it now makes me want to see it all the time, I want him to smile constantly especially if it's at me.

I've always thought most Slytherin Quidditch players were attractive. I guess I never noticed Mattheo’s name and more of him physically. He was always attractive I just didn't know who he was directly other than the second Slytherin Quidditch beater.

I rest my head on my palm and wait for Dumbledore to stop talking and start the feast. The first year sorting always takes about half an hour so we sit here for a while before we even get to eat.

It's really annoying, I just want to eat my favorite meal; pasta with vodka sauce, meatballs, and garlic bread.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and it’s a little girl.

“Hello,” I say giving her a confused smile.

“Do you mind if I sit with you? I get it if you don't want a first-year sitting next to you.” This little 11-year-old girl is asking to sit with me and expects me to say no, she's the sweetest-looking kid ever.

“Of course, you can sit next to me,” I reply, and her face lights up and she sits to my left. “I'm y/n,” I say smiling

“I'm Charlotte.” She gives me a bright smile as Dumbledore finishes his speech and the food appears on the tables. She's so cute.

I scoop myself some pasta and meatballs and put it on my plate, offering some to Charlotte. She agrees and tells me it's her favorite.

“It's my favorite too!” I say grabbing two pieces of garlic bread

“Can I have garlic bread- Thank you!” She asks right as I give her the second piece I picked up.

We eat and chat and she tells me about her younger brothers and how she's a half-blood. I nod along and talk when I should.

While talking about the school and classes, I offer to help her around the castle the first couple of days since it's such a big school.

After dinner, we get up and I show her to the Ravenclaw common room, telling her the classrooms and bathrooms as we pass them. I tell her you have to solve a riddle to open the door to the common room and she seemed nervous about it.

That was until we got to the door and she got the riddle before I did. She laughed at me and I laughed back telling her how smart she is.

Look, I know she's 11 and she's almost a teenager but I don't think treating someone so young like they're already grown up is right. I don't want her childhood to end because people expect so much from her.

I grew up in a household where if you didn't understand what was going on it wasn't going to be baby-fied. You had to figure it out on your own. Now, I don't know how to ask for help or admit that I'm not doing well to other people.

So if I can help this one girl know that it's okay to be childish sometimes I'll be happy. As long as she knows school isn't about just learning, it's about finding out who you are and the people who deserve to be around you. It took me too long to figure that out.

I show Charlotte the dorms and we find hers so I can drop her off and let her unpack, I tell her I'll see her in the common room in the morning before breakfast.

Walking out of the common room I go all the way down to the dungeons, it's a regular thing that Pansy, Daphne, and I celebrate the new school year with each other. They're probably bringing their boyfriends so I guess I could ask mattheo if he isn't going already.

I say the password to the Slytherin common room and walk up to the girl's dormitories. Finding Pansy and Daphne’s I knock and wait for one of them to open the door. Daphne opens it and gives me a hug.

“How was dinner?” she asks me while going back to sit on her bed.

“It was good, I made friends with this little first year in Ravenclaw.”

“Awe is she cute?”

“She is actually. She seems very smart.”

“Wow, shocker,” Pansy says laughing while coming out of the bathroom with wet hair.

“We've been over this Pans, being in Ravenclaw doesn't automatically make you smart.” I roll my eyes and sit on Daphne’s bed.

Pansy just laughs and takes black nail polish out of her bedside table.

“Is Draco and Theo coming to the hangout tonight?” I ask leaning on Daphne’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you gonna ask Riddle to come?” Pansy asks wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“I might, he's cute.”

“And super strong!” Daphne says giggling

“He is strong but he's cuter, drawing and listening to music is so sweet. Boys don't do that anymore.” I say smiling at the ceiling thinking about Mattheo.

“Well you should probably go and tell him now if you want him to come.” Pansy says now applying the nail polish to her fingers and toes. I get up and nod.

“Alright, I'll be back.”

Leaving their dorm and walking to the boys’ dorms feels weird. I never go to boys’ dorms. I've never hooked up with any of the boys at Hogwarts so I don't go to the boys’ side ever.

I look at all the metal nameplates on the front of the wooden doors to each dormitory trying to find Riddle.

“You lost pretty girl?” I hear someone ask behind me. I turn quickly and see Marcus Flint.

“Not particularly, thanks, Flint,” I say turning forwards and returning to look for Mattheo’s name.

I finally find it and knock on the door. I hear shuffling behind the wood and then a muffled “fuck”.

Mattheo opens the door slightly peeking his head out and sees me.

“Oh, y/n, do you need something?”

“I just had a question but if you're busy I could come back.” I say pointing back to where I came from.

“No no, I'm not busy. Give me two seconds I have to put pants on.” I nod and he closes the door. Wait, put pants on? Was he pantless while he opened the door? I feel my face flush and I just look at my shoes until I hear the door open again.

I look up and mattheo is in grey sweatpants and shirtless. My mouth salivates just looking at him, holy shit.

“Alright, sorry about that. Come in.” he opens the door wider and kicks something into the closet beside the door.

“Don't be sorry.” I reply looking around his room. He has a triangular Slytherin flag above his bed and a The Smiths poster next to his desk. I smile as I look at it and then turn towards him and the door. The whole wall is covered in sketches that must be from an old sketchbook of his.

“Oh wow. I love this wall.” I say walking closer to it and looking at all the sketches.

“Thanks, they're old though, from last year and even before then.” I nod to his words and remember what I came here to ask him.

“Oh, right, I was wondering if you wanted to come to Pansy and Daphne’s dorm to hang out for the new school year with us, Draco, and Theo?” I feel my cheeks heat up as I ask him.

“Oh, like as your date?” he scratches his neck and I feel regret seep into my bones.

“Um, not necessarily! Just to hang out if you'd like to. I mean you could consider yourself my date or not it doesn't matter.” My face gets redder with every word I speak. I'm embarrassing myself.

“I would love to be your date for a hang out.” he chuckles and I smile at him

“Oh really? Thank god I was so scared you were gonna make fun of me or something.” I say laughing my anxieties off.

“No, I would never turn down a pretty girl's invite to hang out with her.” I blush as he says this and his smile broadens. I love his smile.

“I adore your smile,” I say slightly tilting my head at him.

“Oh, you do?” he asks, self-consciously.

“I do.” I smile

“Thank you.” his cheeks turn red as well as his neck. I rake my eyes across his body and notice the slight bulge in his pants. Fucking hell. He notices me staring and smirks.

“What's wrong y/l/n?” he taunts, moving closer to me. My face warms and I try not to look back down at his pants.

“Nothing’s wrong Riddle,” I respond, I can feel my thighs rubbing together.

“You sure? Looks like you're a bit… flustered.”

I let out a choked laugh and moved backward into his desk. I grip the edge of the table and make eye contact with him. His already dark eyes have deepened and I could've sworn lust was swirling through his pupils.

“Nope, I'm all good Riddle.” I say, standing up straighter. I'm not going to back out and cower that's not who I am.

“Alright, whatever you say y/l/n,” he responds chuckling, hands in mock surrender.

“Are you doing alright?” I ask back to see if I can give him the same effect.

“As good as new, thanks for asking,” he smirks

“You're sure?” I press

“I mean, I'm a bit warm but that's about it.” his smirk deepens now

“Warm how?”

“I'm warm as in overheating, darling.”

“Ahh, see I'm not hot and I'm in a jumper, you're shirtless, what's making you so warm Mattheo?”

“Well, I have a very sexy woman in front of me and she's not taking a hint so I'm getting a bit impatient.” my eyes widen and my cheeks flush even darker.

“What hint?” I ask

“The hint that I want to bend her over and fuck her right on the desk she's leaning on,” Mattheo says with such confidence that I feel my legs weaken.

“You what?” I whisper, completely stunned

“You need me to repeat myself? Or can I show you what I'm hinting at?”

“You can show me.” I look up at him as he stalks closer to me. His large hand grips my waist and I feel his body heat making me flush even warmer.

“You okay with this?” he asks before going any further. I nod and he shakes his head at me.

“Words darling, I need words.”

“Yes, I'm okay with this.” He smiles and lowers himself to his knees. My eyes widen and my legs unconsciously part for him. He continues to look up at me while he pulls my skirt down as well as my underwear.

While I step out of my skirt and underwear I watch him look down at my vagina as well as my arousal dripping down my thighs. His tongue wipes against his lips and he smiles up at me.

“Can I?” he asks

“Yes, please Mattheo.” I practically whine to him. He immediately moves his face in between my legs and licks a stripe on my folds. I lean my head back and whine out loud.

“Ohh gods Mattheo” I feel my legs buckle and his strong arm wraps around my waist to keep me up.

His tongue splits my folds and goes to my clit, while he smears my arousal around his fingers inch up my thigh, and pokes at my anticipating hole. I look down at him and he's already looking at me.

While he laps at my clit his pointer finger pushes through my hole and straight to as far as his finger could go. I moan and rock my hips against his face, needing the friction. He adds his middle finger and my head indistinctly rolls back against my shoulder.

I feel the knot in my stomach tighten and I know I'm close. I beg Mattheo to go faster and he complies. His fingers squelch while pushing in and out of me. This is the most pleasure I've ever felt, what will it feel like when he's in me?

I'm a whining mess until Mattheo pulls his face back and kisses my thighs.

“Noo, go back!!” I beg and try to push my hips back against his face.

“Patience sweet girl. I'll make you feel good I promise.” I whine and wiggle my hips to make his fingers move in me again.

“Please Mattheo!” I beg him and I feel my eyes well up with tears.

He looks up at me with a frown and stands, pulling his fingers out of me causing me to cry out. He kisses me and I can taste myself on his lips. He grasps my waist and picks me up, setting me on his bed.

I look at him and he's untying his sweatpants. Oh, thank god. I tug at his arms and start to wrap them around me. After he's completely bare other than his boxers I lift my blouse up and drop it to the floor.

He moves closer to me and gives me a passionate kiss. While he distracts me he easily unclips my bra and takes it off my arms. Reaching down to put it on the floor he comes back up, hands resting on my breasts. His forefinger and thumb rubbing my nipples between them.

My head leans back while I groan. His mouth comes to my neck and leaves sloppy kisses against it. He starts to suck on my collar bone and I know it's going to leave a mark. To be honest I'm not that upset about that fact.

“Fuck Matt I need you,” I whine grabbing one of his hands off my breast and in between my thighs, trying to relieve the pain of my lust.

“Alright, princess I got you.” his boxers drop, and my hands immediately reach for his cock. While he kisses me again I rub my thumb over his tip to gather his pre cum to lube up his dick. He groans into my mouth and bucks into my hand.

“Fuck, can't take it.” he takes my hands off him and lays me back against his plush duvet. He grips my legs and rests them on each of his shoulders. I see him look around the room and I get confused.

“What are looking for?” I groan, wiggling my hips to his.

“A pillow.” he drops my legs softly and grabs one of his pillows from the top of his bed. He walks back over and puts it underneath my back.

“There.” he says picking my legs back up onto his shoulders and kisses my thighs. I whine again when his tip teases against my clit. I'm getting impatient.

“Mattheo please-” right as I say that he thrusts into me and I feel like I've been split in half. We both let out groans and he leans his head against my thigh.

“Fucking hell,” he moans, sucking onto my thigh

Meanwhile, I'm adjusting to the size of his dick inside of me. I'm panting and watching him suck and nibble on my thighs.

“Move, please” I beg, out of breath, he complies and slowly leaves me before thrusting back into me before I could even register he left me in the first place.

Mattheo sets a quick pace while watching my tits move up and down on my chest. He's mumbling to himself and biting into my thigh until he leans down and takes my left nipple into his mouth. While I'm groaning he takes his left hand and reaches between us to lightly tease my clit.

“Ohhh Mattheo I'm so close!” I whine gripping onto his hair that's in my face. He moves away from my chest and gives me a hasty and wet kiss against my lips.

“Wait baby, can you do that for me?” he asks taking his free hand and pressing down on my lower tummy. His cock bruising my cervix. The action makes me throw my head back and cry out.

“Shhh pretty girl I know I know” he eases upon my clit focusing on his pace and how much aggression he puts into each thrust.

“Can you wait for me, baby?” he asks again, and I nod breathlessly

“Y-es I can, I can,” I whine and reach for him and he picks his hand up from my abdomen and interlaces our hands together.

“Baby, I'm close, where do you want me to cum?” he asks slowing his pace a bit

“I don't care! Anywhere!” I'm so close and him slowing is leaving me on the edge.

“Sweetheart this is your decision.” he's also breathless as he speaks to me

“In me! In me please!” I beg with wide eyes, I feel warm tears run down my cheeks

“Okay, sweet girl.” he fastens his pace and I'm moaning so loudly I already know his dorm neighbors can hear me.

I'm so close, the knot in my stomach quickly coming undone and I squeeze his hand as I cum over his cock. My pussy clenched and it makes him lay his forehead on mine and shoot his load inside of me, painting my walls with a sticky white.

He stays inside of me as we both pant and catch our breath. He's lying on my chest and I can feel his cum dripping down and onto his pillow.

He lifts his head and smiles at me.

“Stay like this,” he demands quietly and pulls out of me, causing me to whine out and he presses a fast kiss on my lips before quickly walking to his desk and grabbing his sketchbook and pencil.

“What are you doing?” I ask sitting up

“No no! I said stay like this!” he pushed me bsck down lightly and sat beside me. He opens his sketchbook and quickly starts to draw.

“Are you drawing me?” I ask incredulously

“Mhm, you're my muse.” he responds without even looking up at me. I feel myself flush at his words and then I feel his cum dripping out and making me sticky and uncomfortable.

“Matty,” I whisper making him look up at me

“Can we clean up first? I feel sticky.”

“Oh shit yeah, I'm sorry.” he drops his sketchbook beside me and rushes to the bathroom connected to his dorm to get a warm washcloth to clean my legs up.

I whine softly at the touch, still sensitive. He shushes me quietly and kisses the bite marks he left on my thighs. They're already turning a dark shade of red.

He fixes himself up and then grabs my underwear and puts them back on me slowly. He walks to his closet and takes out a green Slytherin shirt and asks me to sit up so he can put it on me. I lift my arms and he lets it fall on me. He steps back and mumbles something to himself.

“Hm?” I ask laying back down

“What?” he asks

“What did you say to yourself just now?”

He flushes before saying,

“Oh, I said you looked beautiful in my shirt. You're perfect to be my muse.” I smile and open my arms for him to lie with me. He welcomes my embrace and kisses my neck softly.

“Well, I can pose for you now, if you'd like.”

“Yes,” he says with enthusiasm and moves back to his position from before

We sit there for about 15 minutes in a comfortable silence before he tells me he's finished. He flips the sketchbook for me to see and its probably the most beautiful drawing I've ever seen.

“That's how you see me?” I ask, in disbelief

“Yes, absolutely stunning.” I blush and give him a big kiss on the cheek

“Such a gentleman Mattheo Riddle.” I smile and lean back to lie down on his bed.

“What time do we need to go to Daphne and Pansy’s?” he asks putting his sketchbook away. I sit up quickly with a gasp.

“Oh my god!! I totally forgot!” I say getting up and rushing to put my skirt on.

“Hey hey, it's okay, it's only 10.” I look at him with wide eyes

“We need to go right now,” I say grabbing his hand.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” he asks grabbing my shirt and my bra. I roll my eyes and wave him off

“Why are you acting like I won't be back after the hangout? You don't want me here?” I joke with him but he takes it seriously, eyes going wide and stumbling over his words

“Of course not! I didn't know you'd want to come back!” I look at him and laugh.

“Why wouldn't I want to come back??” I ask in disbelief

He just shrugs and looks away. I pull his arm lightly and remind him we have to go. He nods and we quickly walk to their dorm. We knock on the door and Theo opens it.

“Well well well, look who decided to arrive!” he says opening the door more to show the rest of the group. Daphne looks at the hickey on my neck with wide eyes and gets up to inspect it.

“Umm Mr. Riddle care to explain yourself?” she asks, jokingly

“She's my muse.”

“Your muse?” Draco asks

“Yes my muse, she's the most perfect thing for me to draw.” he smiles holding me close to him while we walk into the dorm.

“I didn't know THE Mattheo riddle had feelings other than anger and boredom!” Pansy laughs at her own joke as well as the others. Mattheo just glares at them and I smile up at him.

“Well, don't let us ruin your fun night! Go have fun, wear protection though!” pansy says getting up and pushing us out of their dorm. She closes the door on our faces and we just look at each other. Mattheo shrugs and picks me up bridal style. I squeal and laugh lightly.

He walks us to his dorm and lies me back down onto his bed against his pillows. He takes the pillow we fucked on and puts it in his hamper. He lies down next to me and pulls me into his chest. I breathe in his cologne and I immediately feel like I'm home.

“Do you feel like you've known me for years or is it just me?” I ask looking up at him.

“No, I feel it too.” he responds kissing my forehead. I feel my eyes get droopy and Mattheo starts to play with the ends of my hair.

“Rest, sweet girl, I'll be here when you wake up” he kisses my forehead again and I feel myself drift off, happy for the first time in a while.

[mintyeve322]

for anyone concerned by my writing style on my posts that my fic(s) might have no capital letters, random capital letters, or some other issue, i just wanted to clarify i type posts and messages very different from stories.

in stories I'll use proper punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. (at least to the best of my ability) i just couldn't give two shits about that stuff while I'm rambling here.

just a warning or heads up, haha.

anyway, so that we're on topic, fiddlestan time below the cut.

I think their relationship is pretty quick to take off but slow to be official. i feel like Stan is so starved for affection that she's scared to acknowledge her feelings, especially since affection is sometimes just "platonic girl stuff". don't worry stan, overly affectionate heterosexual female friends drive me insane too.

on Fidd's part, i think she is hesitant to make things official because at first she's not sure if her feelings are genuine or if she's accidentally using Stan, but once she realized thats not it, she's still hesitant to say anything because she doesn't wanna make Stan uncomfortable if she's not right about her feelings.

Fidds is a people pleaser and unhinged as hell before she uses the memory gun, let alone afterwards, so she for sure has made or aquired some crazy shit as gifts for Stan. She for sure has made her at least one robot that malfunctioned and had to be decommissioned, she bought Stan a fish, I'll do some fish research to figure out what kind later but it has some sort of significance, to occupy the empty tank in the shack since Frilliam is lost at sea. She's probably helped Stan make exhibits and made a cryptid up that reminds her of Stan. I feel like she'd get gifts for Stan constantly, and Stan wouldn't know how to act about it because her instinct is to be skeptical of kindness but Fidds was her sister's friend and she hasn't asked Stan for anything in return and she doesn't know why.

Related to Stan's belief that affection is transactional, if Fidds ever gets nervous about the portal or if Stan keeps something from her, like why she got arrested last night or where she found a part and Fidds says she owes Fidds an explanation, Stan will shut down and probably cry in her room for an hour.

Stan is VERY worried that Fidds is gonna reveal one day that she's only there for some sort of payment or gain on her end, and if she even implies that Stan owes her something, Stan will spiral until Fidds is able to figure out the problem and apologize, even if she agrees that she does owe Fiddleford something for all she's done.

Related to this, there's probably a period of time where Fidds is working really hard, to the bone, for Stan. She hates not feeling useful and may have hit a road block she's trying to push through or something, and when Stan tells her to take a break, she interprets it as a sarcastic "just let me do it, idiot" comment and not the "please take a break im worried about you" way stan intended it, due to the fact Ford, with her one track mind, has been harsh to her in that way before.

Fidds is apologetic and swears she's almost got it she just needs more time and please don't maker her leave she promises she can do it, and Stan has to basically grab her, look her in the eyes, and tell her she just needs to take a break and come back later. Fidds says she just wants to be useful for Stan, and Stan tells her she doesn't care if she's useful, she just needs her there and burning herself out working on the project is not worth it. they have a long conversation about how even if fidds never worked on the project again Stan would still want her around and its sad and fluffy.

also a thing where stan gets frustrated and implies Fidds isnt useful and has to comfort her and insist that isn't what she meant because it genuinely wasn't what she meant agh i love miscommunication hurt/comfort

idk im rambling and i feel like we're all so busy unpacking Stan's trauma we forget that Fidds has very real trauma from her work with Ford that has plenty of hurt/comfort potential as well.

[lalacliffthorne]

Hi, I love your modern batboys roommate fic so much. I am obsessed with Azriel and readers relationship and the way you write them. It’s my comfort fic that I always fun back to.

I know you don’t take request and I totally respect that, but I would be really curious what it would look like when Az and reader get into a fight (either a smaller fight like a disagreement or even a bigger fight). I’m really curious what it would look like since they live together, how they would react to being in a fight. And I’m curious what Rhys and Cassian’s reactions would be as well. But I feel like depending on the fight it wouldn’t last too long since they seem to be good at communicating and they love each other so much.

Sorry about the ramble, I’ve thought about this way too much. Anyways love your writing and your fics 🫶🏻🫶🏻

omg hi 🥹 thank u so much!! this means the world to me 💕

oohhhhh okay?? this is a really good question?! I already know I'm gonna go overboard with this lol

so for me, I feel like disagreements are rare. because honestly, you rarely disagree on anything in the first place. like, you are so attuned to each other and in synch, barely anything can throw that.

which means, the few disagreements that might occur are usually based on concern or something similiar. like azriel thinking you need a break and you being too stubborn, and vice versa. but those are usually solved easily, with azriel simply literally dragging you away from work and you talking some sense into him. communication is something the both of you know is important, and while az might not seem like he's big on talking, he's actually one of the few people that can get through to you when you're caught in your head, with simple, steady words. vice versa, you are one of the only people that can get through to him.

which means, actual fights are even more rare. like, so rare that the first time it happens, it throws not just you, but everyone.

it would definitely be about something that actually runs deep, bc anything superficial you either talk out or never actually becomes a problem. it would have to be something that makes azriel shut down and you so frustrated that you do too. again, I think it would be most likely something that stems from concern about the other.

the fight itself would shake you to your core. not because azriel would get loud or anything, he would never, not even in a serious argument, not even if you lost your temper on him. but bc usually, you manage to talk through everything.

but this time, instead, azriel shuts down. barely says anything at all, whole body tense and eyes stormy. it wouldn't be to punish you or anything; the literal only reason he would shut down on you like this would be him getting caught in his own head until he's not able to see how desperate you are, angry - until you shut down too.

and that is when the actual hard part begins. azriel is still caught in his head and distances himself without even noticing, and you pull back too, bc you're stuck in your own head.

which means suddenly, the whole flat is quiet.

rhys and cassian would notice immediately - and it would throw absolutely everything for them. bc let's be honest, azriel and you are the one constant these two can always rely on when they get home, knowing you are either in one of your rooms, your body curled into azriel's on the bed, messing around in the kitchen or sandwiched on the couch. you are the two people in their lives they know are like - fucking meant for each other.

so I definitely think it would have a massive effect on them. like suddenly rhys, who has problems sleeping in good times, barely sleeps at all. just loses all his focus; burns food and gets the simplest recipes wrong. he gets snappy, not even sarcastic or anything, just plain pissed, until it mounts into an absolutely massive argument with his dad. and cass, who we all know is basically sunshine incarnate, is just worried to his core. bc you're his family, and he can't lose that. so, gone is the constant grin and jokes, until all is left is a broody attitude and a deep frown.

I don't think either of them would ever pick sides, like - they love the both of you way too much for that and can probably guess that this argument is not really anyone's fault. having said that, I do think cass would probably gravitate towards you. bc - he is so protective of you on a good day, and he literally physically can't stand to see you so upset. it just absolutely breaks his heart, and he would want to do everything in his power to make sure you're not alone in this. like, he's the one who gets you to finally open your door, and who you break down on. he's the one who doesn't leave your side until he absolutely has to, who takes you wherever you need to go, sends everyone who just looks at you for too long scrambling with a simple dark glare. don't get me wrong, he'd leave you alone if you'd asked him, but he would probably fucking camp outside your door or something, just in case.

rhys on the other hand is there for you quietly. like coming into both of your rooms to bring you food and, in your case, sitting down on the floor until you've eaten something. pulling you out of the flat for a walk so you get some fresh air, just letting you lean into him. other than that, he just watches quietly.

until he's had enough. cause honestly - it's clear to anyone with the barest bit of common sense that both azriel and you are absolutely miserable. neither of you leaves their room. you don't get any sleep, bc how when azriel's not there, your thoughts are swallowing you whole, and you don't smile anymore. meanwhile, azriel stops talking altogether. both of you are yearning so incredibly hard for the other that whenever azriel just catches a whiff of your perfume, he has to fight the urge to barge into your room, simply held back by guilt, and you well up whenever you just catch a glimpse at his door.

I think rhys would probably just march into azriel's room and tell him to cut the crap. he would be so angry, like - "please, for god`s sake, stop being a fucking idiot, get out of your head and talk to your fucking girlfriend, you moron". and azriel would glare at him so hard - but rhys just glares the fuck back until azriel breaks.

he probably finds you in your room. it breaks his heart to see you curled up under your blanket, looking tired and pale and likely with red eyes from crying, and he suddenly absolutely wants to kick himself. you're not any better tho, the sight of him, hair a mess, dark shadows under his eyes and gaze dull causing your chest to squeeze.

you definitely talk it out, azriel starting, voice quiet, rough. it needs a good, honest conversation, about the reasoning why he shut down, why you did the same. you also promise there and that moment to never let it get that far again, to not speaking for days, bc honestly - you're just miserable without the other, and you barely handled it this time. you make a deal to give the other space when needed but never go to bed without talking it out - and you stick to that, for every future argument after.

when azriel finally pulls you into a hug so tight, your ribs ache, you just squeeze back, probably tearing up bc god, you missed him. and you missed his smile and his eyes and the way he always seems to be right behind you, and nothing feels right without him.

cass and rhys are so relieved when you walk into the kitchen together bit later, cass breaking into the widest grin ever and rhys immediately making you promise to him too to never let it get this far again, bc fuck that - the two of you are meant together and fighting is just shit. it makes you giggle wetly, azriel cracking the first grin in days, and both cass and rhys swear the world finally feels right again.

anyway, jfc, I'm sorry for this ramble 🙈 that totally got out of hand 😂

thank u so much for this again tho, this was really fun!! if there are other scenarios you've been thinking about, I'd love to hear them 💞

[lovableapocalypse]

an encounter

bassist!remus x fem!reader

wc- 1.1k

warnings- alcohol, jealousy, sirius being a twat

a/n- i was listeing to t1975 and m.o.n.e.y played and the line "and i cant believe that were talking about him" played and inspired something in my brain. also writing last night motivated me again a bit. buttttt once again this is not the long chapter (their love confession) that ive been working on. this is just a silly pre- together fic of them being stupid. love u all and i appreciate every one of u.

Remus’ glare was burning into your spine. For once though, you didn’t seem to notice him. You were leaning on the local bar’s counter talking to the new bartender. You had been sent to get the next round and what had started as a friendly conversation had turned quickly into flirting. 

You all had been studying for your upcoming exams and decided a much needed break was appropriate. How you ended up at the pub was out of your control, you’d suggested a quick coffee run. But you’d lost the last round of pool and were therefore sent to get refills. 

The bartender was cute. Not exactly your type, seeing as your type was currently sending dirty looks to the guy. Remus was oblivious to your feelings for him, yet you rarely let yourself talk to other guys because you were so focused on him. When the guy across from you sent the first flirty remark your immediate reaction was to shoot him down, but for once you acted on your second instinct and decided to flirt back. 

Flirting wasn’t exactly a skill you had mastered, but it was fun to banter with the guy and you were honestly into it at this point. He had placed your drinks on the bartop but continued his conversation with you while there were no customers. He was talking about some crazy order he had to make earlier in the night and you were laughing along.

Remus had witnessed the whole encounter. You were shit at pool so it was no surprise you had been the one to get the next round, he was just curious when it was taking twice as long. He didn’t mean to shoot daggers at the guy, but when he saw your face heat up and your laugh grow louder he couldn’t help it. 

Sirius noticed his irritation right away and huffed a laugh as he leaned closer to him, “Are you gonna do something?”

“What?” Remus shot back. 

“Are you going to do something?” Sirius reiterated. 

“About what?”

“Jesus. That.” He waved his finger between you and the bartender. 

“Why would I do something?” Remus tried to play his obvious discomfort off, but Sirius saw right through him. 

“Because you’re quite literally in love with her.”

“Shut up.”

“See. No denying.”

Remus lightly shoved Sirius and shook his head, “What would I even say? ‘Oh hi can you please stop flirting with the girl I have no right to get jealous over’?”

“You should add ‘because I’m too pussy to ask her out even though she clearly returns my affections.’” He smiled and Remus gave him a blank look.

“Piss off. For fucks sake.” He returned under his breath.

“No, I'm serious. She never shuts the fuck about you. Just go over there and offer to help her with the drinks or something. I want my beer anyway.” He pointed at you again and nudged his head in your direction. 

“Fine.” Remus sighed, placing his pool stick down and moving towards the bar. 

His steps were quick and he glanced back at Sirius who made a shooing motion at him. Remus itched the back of his neck as your frame got closer and closer. He made his way to your figure and your laugh quickly made him regret his decision. Who was he to stop you from flirting? But you spotted him and turned towards him, touching his arm. 

You smiled and turned back to the bartender, introducing him, “This is Remus.”

“Ah, nice to meet you.” The guy nodded at him. 

“Uh, yeah. Hi.” Remus awkwardly smiled. 

“Rem this is Liam. He just started here this week.” You raised your brows, making conversation. You left your hand on Remus’ upper arm and neither of you acknowledged it, even though the touch was sending similar butterflies up your spines. 

“Oh nice,” Remus replied, “Like it?” 

“Yeah, so far it’s alright.” Liam smiled at you when he said that and Remus had to restrain from visibly cringing. You returned the smile and giggled. You actually giggled. He looked between you and Liam and tried to let it go, but couldn’t. 

“Right. Well Sirius wants his beer so,” He tried to end the conversation and was scared you would tell him to just take the drinks, but luckily you went along with him. 

“Right ‘course.” You laughed and moved your hand from his arm to reach for a few drinks. 

“Thanks, Liam.” You sent him a small smile as you spun around. Remus sent him a tight-lipped one and followed you. 

Sirius was smirking as you approached and patted Remus on the back when he handed him his drink. Remus glared but couldn’t help but huff at the whole situation. 

Lily rushed over to you and as you handed her the drink she ordered, she spoke, “That guy was so into you. He stared at your arse the whole time you walked back over here.”

You grimanced, “Lovely.”

“No, no. That’s a good thing. You could get your mind off you know who.”

“Lily, kindly, shut the fuck up.”

She put her hands up in false surrender and you turned, giving James his drink. You heard her whisper again, “Remus was so jealous though, it was hysterical.”

“He was?” You spoke too quickly. 

“Yes, badly. He was squinting so hard his eyebrows were literally touching.” She motioned between her own brows, laughing.

You glanced back at him and he caught your eye, blushing. You smiled and turned away. 

“He was actually jealous?”

“Yes, love. Very,” Lily smiled, “You two are the most oblivious people in the world I swear.”

You huffed and rolled your eyes. 

James and Peter started the next game of pool and while you were waiting you stood next to Sirius.

“The bartender was cute.” He said. Remus was on the other side of you and spun his head towards Sirius at his words. 

You nodded, “Yeah he was alright.”

“I think he’s really into you.” As he spoke he looked at Remus and smirked knowingly. 

“Really?” You asked. “I don’t know, maybe he’s just being friendly.”

Remus cleared his throat, “Probably. Didn’t he just start working here? Just making friends with the customers, ya know.”

“I don’t know Moony, that looked pretty flirty to me. Y/n/n?” 

“I- I’m not good at gauging these things- I mean flirting is not my thing so I wouldn’t know.” You looked between the two boys shaking your head, oblivious to Sirius’ instigating. 

Remus mouthed Fuck off when your head was turned and Sirius laughed. It was his turn to go and you spoke to Remus as Sirius played, “He’s not my type anyway.” You glanced up at him and he nodded his head.

“That’s good.” He answered. 

His response made you shy. ‘That’s good’ is it? You turned, hiding your smile and flush. God you two were idiots, he was jealous. And you were secretly glad he was.  

[mintchocodevi]

Home - Diluc x Reader

A/N: I'm relatively new to Tumblr, never really used it when I was younger, was mostly a Wattpad, Quotev, and now an Archive of Our Own user. This is being cross-posted from my AO3 account with a slightly different username. ANYWAY-- Let me know if you like this stuff, I'm more than happy to do requests (because I struggle to come up with things to write on my own). Summary: You've been in a relationship with Diluc for so long, but it seems like the spark has been lost. You're debating on if you can even call Mondstadt your home anymore. How will Diluc take to the news of you wanting to leave him and Mondstadt behind?

Characters: Diluc, AFAB Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut/Sex, Bittersweet, light plot with porn, not beta read what so ever I barely remember the contents of this fic bro I wrote it so long ago

The land of freedom. The ability to choose what you wanted to do, to not have to bend to the call of your archon. It was a blessing, compared to many other surrounding countries who couldn’t break from the shackles of their home land. Mondstadt was such a beautiful country. Wide open grass fields, tons of smiling faces and helpful friends. It was like a place out of a true fairy tale. But even then, why did the person you cared for most, seem so restrained, so isolated.

It had been a lovely day hours ago, sun shining, a light breeze causing dandelion seeds to dance across the sky and find their way to new homes. Children running about with a laugh, creating memories with whom they loved. During this time you simply watched, watched the seeds fly, the children run, vendors laugh as they spoke with their regular patrons. They looked so happy, full of life. They looked right at home, something that was slowly becoming foreign to you in this country. Sitting silently on the bench and watching church goers walk past, you begin to stop consciously watching everything. The conversations around you become buzzing in the background as you lower your head.

Mondstadt has been your home for so long. You grew up here, born and raised just like many other Mondstadt children. You found the love of your life here. Yet, over time, things had begun to slip through your fingers. Your partner, always stoic, doing as much as he can on his own, you wondered if he even loved you anymore. Small romantic gestures had faded over time, the whispers of affection you two shared behind closed doors that were once multiple times a day were now so far and few between. Oftentimes, it didn’t seem like he wanted to reciprocate the affection. You clenched your hands tightly while they were folded up in your lap as your heart stung. You loved him so much, you still do, no doubt still will till your life was nothing, but you wondered if he felt the same. The buzz of the background came back into focus as you felt a water droplet land on your nose and a shadow cast over you.

“It’s time to go,” he said. You looked up from your lap to see Diluc staring at you with his never ending melancholic expression. You stared into his eyes for a moment, doing your best to search them for any love, any recognition of desire in them before being unable to find anything. You gave him a small smile, standing from your position and dusting your clothes. You went to reach for his hand, wishing to lace your fingers or slide your hand into his glove just to feel the warmth of your partner. However, he turned and began walking before you could move much closer.

“It’s going to rain so we should hurry back to the house,” he said bluntly. You watched his back as he continued forward, not turning once to see if you were following. You brought your hand up to your chest and clenched your fist. Your chest burned with sorrow, simply lowering your head and following him quietly. Maybe, your anxiety was right. Maybe, he didn’t love you anymore. If that were the case, why did he keep you around? Why did he allow you to stay with him, sleep in the same bed? Was it fun to him? Was it some kind of sick game so he could see you crumble before him? You couldn’t figure it out anymore.

You watched Diluc’s back as you walked behind him. When was the last time you had actually walked beside him, instead of in his footsteps? The sky began to blur gray as if to mimic your emotions, once right behind Diluc you were now slowing your pace, struggling to find a desire to want to keep up with him. Eventually the occasional droplet became two, and then seven, a light shower, before an outright downpour. Silently you stood in front of the Dawn Winery, finding it so hard to move your feet. It was as if someone had tied lead to them, and allowed them to sink halfway into the mud below. The rain beat down on you like thousands of small marbles, rough, soaking your clothes and hair. At some point you couldn’t tell what was the rain, and what were tears. You scrunched up your face, clenched your hands and finally fell to your knees in the mud and rain, letting a choked out sob escape your lips. This was it, maybe it was time to go.

“Dear, what do you think you’re doing?!” A feminine voice cried.

You finally felt the rain no longer pelting your skin as an umbrella was raised over you, Adelinde quickly wrapping a large blanket around you and trying to help you up while Elzer held the umbrella above the two of you. Adelinde and Elzer quickly rushed you inside, Adelinde chastising you for being in the rain and mumbling about Diluc being careless, though you hardly understood what she was saying as they became background noise. They began running around you, carefully trying to help you dry off by gently rubbing your head with a towel and requesting clothes be brought to you from the other household staff. Eventually the running and the noise finally stopped, causing you to look up. You noticed Adelinde and Elzer staring at you with concerned looks, worry written across their faces.

“Dear are you alright?” Adelinde asked. Confused, you looked between the two of them before bringing your hand up to your face, feeling that your tears had not yet stopped falling despite coming in from the rain. Quickly you took the towel and wiped your eyes before smiling and waving your hands anxiously.

“Yes, I’m alright I promise! I don’t know what came over me!” You laughed softly, quickly trying to play it off in hopes they would believe your lie.

“In all my years of seeing you here, I have not once seen you cry for no reason,” Elzer spoke softly. You sighed, reaching out to take one of their hands each, squeezing it softly.

“I promise the both of you… I will be alright,” you whispered. You didn’t want to cause them any fear or concern. The problems you had were with Diluc and Diluc alone.

“Warm and clean clothes have been prepared for you in your room, if you’d like to get changed we can bring dinner up to you–”

“No I’d… Please, I’d like to have dinner with Diluc.” You cut Adelinde off abruptly. If this was how life was going to be, you decided that you would rip the bandage off now, rather than waiting.

Adelinde gave a hesitant nod, taking your hand gently and helping you up. Both she and Elzer helped you to your room, still wrapped firmly up in the blanket to keep you from possibly getting sick with your drenched clothing. Once to your room, they both gave you a lighthearted bow before walking away and allowing you to entire your room alone. Shuffling inside, you shed the massive blanket off your shoulders as soon as the door was closed, shivering as the air rushed at your soaking clothes. You quickly peeled all the wet layers off, before drying your skin, and gently sliding into the freshly cleaned linens. You looked at yourself in the mirror closely, and wondered what about you had changed to possibly turn your partner away. You hadn’t gained any weight, you frequently got your hair trimmed but never styled any differently. You always put effort into your appearance, not for him but because you felt you looked amazing with the time and effort put into your appearance. Was it maybe too much for him? Was your vanity something he was disgusted by?

You continued to do small twirls and twists, looking at every asset of yourself and wondering, had you changed something about yourself to cause him to no longer love you? However, your thoughts were eventually disrupted when a light knock came to your door, alerting you that dinner was ready and you could make your way to the dining room. You reached out, gently sliding on some house slippers before leaving your bedroom and joining Diluc for dinner. A small glance around the room and you couldn’t see any maids about, and you wondered if maybe Adelinde had known this was something you secretly needed right now. Alone time to talk to Diluc.

A large space sat between the two of you. Diluc sat there quietly, no longer wearing his large jacket and gloves, much more relaxed and at ease as he ate. You, however, sat there, simply staring at your plate. Despite the hungry feeling in your stomach, the food didn’t appeal to you. Nothing appealed to you in this moment, the air felt too thick, the food smelt too sweet, everything was simply overwhelming. Diluc shifted his eyes from the plate he was currently cutting into, only to see you sitting across the table staring at your plate with your head down. Not eating wasn’t like you, whatever Adelinde made you always loved, and in fact he was positive this was one of your favorite dishes.

“Is there something wrong,” he asked.

“No, not exactly,” you muttered. You began to dig at your hand nervously under the table, scratching the inside of your palm.

“So there is something wrong?” Diluc raised his eyebrow in confusion as he put his fork and knife down to give his full attention to you. You tensed in your seat when you looked up and locked eyes, it was as if he was staring knives into your heart.

“I think… I plan to leave Mondstandt.”

After that there was a long silence. You couldn’t read Diluc’s face at all. Despite knowing him for years, living with him, loving him, being unable to read Diluc’s face was just something you learned to accept. However, thoughts were racing through Diluc’s mind. You had never discussed wanting or even planning to leave Mondstadt. Plus, it wasn’t like he could go with you to protect you. He had the winery, and with the ‘Knights of Favonius Foolary’ hardly doing their job, he had to work double duty to protect the city. His hands originally above the table slowly lowered to his lap, sitting up the tiniest bit straighter as he focused on you.

“You know I wouldn’t be able to go with you,” he said.

“I’m aware.. I didn’t intend for you to follow or come with,” the last sentence left your lips in a whisper. Diluc clenched his fists under the table before clearing his throat.

“Well if that’s the case, do you know when you intended to leave and come back?” He kept up his poker face, relaxing his fists and deciding to go back to eat to not allow his emotions to show. He raised his fork to his lip and took another bite as you spoke.

“I don’t intend to come back… Because I don’t feel loved here anymore Diluc.”

Another dreadful silence filled the air as Diluc swallowed his food and watched you sit there. As soon as the sentence left your mouth it took you biting your tongue to not just suddenly unload all your feelings at him in this moment. You tilted your head back to look at the ceiling, your eyes stinging as they filled with tears wishing so desperately to fall.

“What do you mean you don’t feel loved?” His question finally broke the silence, along with the dam you had built up in your heart.

“You act like I’m any average citizen of Mondstadt these days. Even when we’re home, here, it’s like I don’t exist. You never tell me you love me anymore, I can’t hold your hand in public, it’s like you didn’t even recognize I wasn’t walking behind you anymore today! I was left out in the rain, I couldn’t bring myself to want to come in!” You raised your hands quickly as soon as you couldn’t fight the tears anymore.

While you fought to keep your face dry, furiously wiping your eyes as the tears flowed, Diluc sat there shocked by your words before allowing them to sink in. It hurt to hear you say such things to him and see you in such a state because thinking long enough about it, you were right. He had been neglecting you and your desires. All the little things you wanted, just some whispers and the smallest of attention. The hand holding you loved to share during walks, the whispers of affection and soft kisses of happiness behind closed doors. He couldn’t remember the last time he had shared moments like that with you. In those moments, Diluc felt he could smile, he knew he could be happy with you and yet right now here he was on the verge of losing you because of his mistakes. Planting his hands firmly on the table he stood from his seat and walked over to the other end of the table as you continued to cry and express your emotions.You were too busy crying into your own hands to even notice he had gotten up before feeling him take your hands.

You opened your eyes to stare down at your partner. This was possibly the first time in so long you had seen him wear an expression other than annoyance or melancholy. He had taken your hands into his and squeezed them tightly as he knelt to the floor, looking up at you with a look of empathy. For once his eyes were readable, the guilt he had, the sadness and disgust he had with himself at your declaration of pain. Diluc hated himself in this moment as he looked at your tear streaked face, knowing it was him who caused you to be like this. He lowered his head and brought your knuckles to his lips, kissing them ever so gingerly before looking up at you once more.

“You are the one thing in my life that has allowed me to feel something, to feel happy. I can’t believe I never saw how I took you for granted,” he whispered. He let go of one of your hands to now cup your cheek gently, running his thumb underneath your eye to wipe away the tears that still continued to fall.

“Do you still love me, at all?” You choked back a sob while getting the question out.

You shut your eyes tight, fearing the answer would be what you didn’t want to hear. You felt Diluc let go of your hands and heard him shifting his weight as if he was standing up. He was leaving you now, to sit back at his side of the table and tell you no, that he didn’t love you at all. That all of this was meaningless. However, it came as a delightful surprise when his fingers found the tip of your chin and tilted you up. Warm lips pressing against your and the sweet scent of grapes invading your senses. You looked up at your partner in surprise before lowering your lashes, raising one hand gently to grab hold of his arm, not wanting him to pull or run away. When he did pull away, he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek once more, caressing and holding your face close.

“I still love you as much as the day I first met you,” he whispered.

He was quick to dive back in for a gentle kiss, being as soft and tender with you as possible. You were fragile and hurt, he wanted to help you feel better but knew that, if you were truly tired of him and you didn’t want this, you had every right to pull away. Yet, you showed no desire to pull away. This was the closest you had felt to him in so long, you desired him closer. His hands against your cheeks were so warm, he was practically a radiator at times with how warm he got or felt the few times you held his hand or actually got to cuddle with him.You wished for his hands to touch you more, touch you in other places, but maybe that was too much wishful thinking.

“Then can’t you show and prove that to me?” It was meant to be a question, but between the both of you it sounded like a desperate plea.

Diluc was quick to sweep you off your feet, tucking one arm just beneath your shoulder blades and the other under your knees as he picked you up and held you to his chest. You quickly wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders for fear of being dropped or slipping from his grasp. However, you doubt that could actually happen, considering how effortlessly he could swing his claymore. Diluc squeezed you as close to his body as he could, his grasp firm yet gentle as he kissed you passionately, doing his best to silence the fears and anxieties that had built up over time in your heart. He wanted to do nothing but shower you in affection for hours. The last thing he would ever want is for you to leave him. Carefully, he carried you back to the room you both shared on the first floor, nudging the door open and closing it with his foot before laying you gently upon the bed you shared.

You stared up into his scarlet eyes, tears no longer sliding down the sides of your face but instead a gently rosy hue painting their way across your cheeks. It had been so long since he held you, kissed you even; it was bliss. You reached a tentative hand up to his cheek, brushing some of his free falling red locks out of his face to state up at him. The silence right now was no longer as thick or stuffy as before. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but more so uncertain. Diluc wanted to show you the passion you had pleaded for, but he didn’t want to if you didn’t want to be with him anymore and truly desired to move.

“I love you Diluc, so won’t you love me back,” you whispered to him softly.

You scanned his face, looking for any recognition of what you said in his eyes, and seemed to watch his expression soften. You could tell he was anxious, he didn’t want to hurt you or cause you any more pain than what you had already been feeling. Seeing him care, seeing the bits of proof that he did still love you felt like it could make you cry all over again. With your plea to be loved back, he leaned in once more to softly take your lips once more. Slowly, he crawled onto the bed, placing one knee on either side of your hips while placing his arms beside your head, trapping you beneath him. You raised her hands and placed them on his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through his thin white shirt, feeling it tingle your hands and almost course through your whole body.

Eventually he pulled away, a small pant leaving your lips before he moved to gently kiss along your jawline, moving his hands to slip underneath your blouse. He traced his fingers across your skin lightly, like a feather across the wind. It left a shiver up your spine and goosebumps to raise, causing you to turn your head slightly and squirm. Diluc took advantage of your head turn, placing his lips softly against your neck and beginning to suck as his hand slid up to your breast, gently running his thumb over your nipple and teasing it. You brought a hand up to your face in order to quickly cover your mouth, not wanting any of the maids or those nearby outside the room to hear any noises. Diluc appeared unbothered by this as he continued his gentle motions; chewing and sucking on your skin to leave behind noticeable hickeys and teasing your breast.

“I’ve always loved you,” he whispered. You pulled your hand away to look up at him. He had pulled away from your chest and neck to discard his shirt and pull his hair free from the band that was pulling it back. He took your hand gently from your lips and brought it to his, kissing your knuckles once more before leaning in close.

“I will continue to love you till the day our lives depart from this world, and I’m sorry, to have caused you such unbearable pain.” You watched him as he whispered against your knuckles, staring deep into his eyes and feeling your heart clench as he admitted his desires for you. Diluc was never a man of apologies. He hardly apologized to Jean, never to Kaeya, in this moment he was giving you his full sincerity and you knew it. He meant this.

After he let go of your hand, he helped remove your shirt so he would no longer have to fight with it. Leaning down, he placed gentle kisses along the top of your breasts and all across your chests. He was appreciating every inch of you, whether you begged for him to do this or not he was going to make sure you knew you were loved. Eventually the warmth of his lips found their way to the nipple he had teased moments ago. Slowly he stuck his tongue out and licked over it before swirling it in a circle, using one of his hands to give attention to the other. He used his thumb to gently push and rub your nipple in circles, groping your breast tenderly with the rest of his hand before gently pinching and pulling. As he teased your chest, you felt yourself beginning to squirm again. Digging your feet into the bed while clenching your legs closed as if trying to fight the burning desire building in your hips. A slight cry of surprise left your lips when you felt him bite your breast hard enough to leave teeth marks upon the skin on the side. Feeling you squirm beneath him was satisfying to see and rewarding to feel. He smiled as he pulled away to look back down at you, pulling you in for a passionate kiss as he wrapped one arm around you to hold you close and allowing the other to slip underneath the rest of your clothes and between your legs.

“I have always loved you,” he whispered softly against your lips, “nothing could ever change that.”

You brought your hands up to hug him tightly to your body once more. One of your hands found purchase in his long locks as his hand found its way to your pussy. His long fingers worked gently against your wet folds, sliding gently and teasingly across your clit and then down between your folds, separating them before giving a small circle of his fingers. Your legs gave a small twitch as you held onto him, allowing him to make you feel good. He continued to tease softly, keeping his middle finger perfectly between everything, using the top of it to gently push and tease your hole before sliding back up to push against your clit before sliding them slowly back down and repeating the process. Feeling his fingers soaked enough and that you probably had enough teasing, he pushed his hand down gently and pushed his finger into you slowly. The delicious sound of you taking his finger in and feeling the wet gush of your walls was such a sweet treat in and of itself. A gentle gasp escaped your lips as you felt his finger slide in. Slowly he pushed his finger in and out, the soft and wet feeling of your malleable cunt had his own cock straining against his pants. He wanted you so bad, but he knew he’d take his time and enjoy this with you.

Eventually Diluc moved from kissing your lips to once again kissing your neck, allowing you to gasp and moan softly at the movements of his finger. You gripped his hair firmly, pulling and tugging on his red locks without too much thought as you turned her head and whimpered into the pillows. It felt like your hips were practically throbbing for more attention, more desire. You wanted more, and with the feeling of Diluc gently grinding his hips into your leg you could only assume that he wanted more as well.

“D-Diluc please,” you whispered. He quickly stopped his movements, looking at you quietly and waiting for your orders, wondering if maybe he had done something wrong and if you wished to stop.

“I’m alright to go further if you are.” You smiled softly up at him. He returned the smile in kind, leaning down and giving you a soft peck before sitting up and beginning to undo the buckle of his pants.

Diluc gave a satisfied sigh once his cock was free from the prison that was his pants. Using whatever slick from you that was still on his hand, he coated his cock with as he watched you gently remove the rest of your clothes. With his right hand he gently stroked himself to ease some of the pain of his desire, and used his other to gently cup your thigh and push your leg open.He looked down at your hips, pressing his cock head teasingly against your hole. He licked his lips as you felt him tease, sliding the head of his cock from your entrance, up between your folds and pressing gently against your clit in order to cover his cock in more of your juices. He continued to grind against your cunt for a second, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips as he watched himself work before looking up at your face. You were biting your lip and gently keeping your legs held open for him to do his work. God he wanted to make you beg for it, but as much as he wanted to tease you forever, he knew this wasn’t the right moment for it.

Diluc pulled his hips back once he saw your needy expression, pressing his cock head against your entrance before finally pushing with enough force to slide in. Feeling his cock spread you open was pure ecstacy you had missed for a very long time. Diluc continued to push slowly down, sinking his hips in til they were flush against yours, unable to sink his cock any deeper into you. You bit your lip softly, digging your nails into your legs and fighting back wanting to thrust your hips yourself or play with your clit. You had missed being this intimate with him so, so much and now you desired nothing but to do this all day if you could. Your thought process was temporarily stopped when you saw his weight shift above you and you felt yourself being hugged close. Diluc had brought his arms down to wrap around you tightly, pressing chest to chest as he simply lay on top of you for a second. You couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed in more ways than one. Your crazy desire to be ravaged by the man you loved and being overjoyed as he held you as close as he could. You brought your arms back up to hug him close, not wanting him to ever pull away or leave your side. You nuzzled your face gently into his shoulder as you whispered affection, unable to say anything other than ‘I love you’ to him.

“I’ll never let you go feeling unloved ever again.”

Diluc raised his hips slowly, a desperate cry leaving your lips before being replaced with a moan as he pushed his hips back in. Diluc squeezed you close and tight, your soft and supple skin like a large huggable stress toy to him as he began to thrust his hips into you. He never wanted to let you go, he never wanted you to be with anyone else or be anywhere else but with him and at the winery. He growled softly into your skin as his fingers dug into your hips from how he was holding you. The way your walls clenched so desperately around his cock as he pushed in and out. Your scent was like a drug to him as he held you close, thrusting into you with the thought of wanting nothing but to be by your side. You couldn’t help the moans of pleasure that escaped your lips, the fear of maids or any one else in the house hearing you no longer a thought in your mind as your nails dug into the skin of Diluc’s back. Feeling his hips smack into yours as he cock pushed deeper into your body after so long felt like a drug you could get addicted too. As he continued so many thoughts raced through your mind, you wanted to beg for more, deeper, harder, so many naughty thoughts ran through your mind but despite it all, at the top that never wavered, you never wanted to let this man go. You never wanted to do something like this with anyone else.

You took one hand from his back to cup his cheek and pull him in close, kissing him with passion as you pressed your chest into his. The warmth he radiated coupled with how close you two were had the both of you sweating. His hair began to stick to his skin as the scent of sex filled the room. Not that the smell bothered you or that either of you could notice since you were so desperately wrapped up in one another. While you pushed up happily into him, he responded in kind by thrusting faster. Feeling him push his cock balls deep yet keeping you close and tended to, had your eyes rolling in satisfaction. This was a craving you weren’t sure you could ever get enough of. As he continued to pound your thighs pink, you could hear his sultry groans and growls turning into heavy set moans, both of you edging closer and closer.

“D-Diluc! Please,” you whimpered desperately.

Diluc looked up through his haze and nodded his head slightly. He removed one arm from around your waist to instead snake it up and hold your hand. He kissed you with ferocity as he laced your fingers, thrusting his hips harder and as deep as both your bodies would allow. He dug his feet into the bed as he continued to thrust, while you raked your nails across his back. All of your moans were muffled by the passionate lip lock the two of you shared, continuing to edge each other little by little, just a bit more, it felt so good and intense. Keep going, you wanted him to keep going, til finally he gave one more deep push, and you felt your muscles tense. Diluc pulled away from the kiss to gasp before growling into your skin, cumming inside of you before gently and slowly pulling out. You breathed heavily, unable to control the sensitivity and the small twitch of your legs as you felt him pull out before clinging to him tightly, fearing he was completely pulling away to leave you. However, you were reassured when he moved to gently lay beside you instead so he wouldn’t crush you under his weight. There was a comfortable silence, the only sound filling the air was the labored breathing both of you shared. You hugged him tight, despite the sweat and mess you both had just made, you couldn’t help but want to be closer to him. This time, it was reciprocated as he pulled you in tight and pressed his nose into your hair.

“I love you, so promise me you won’t leave Mondstadt.”

“I promise.”

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

A little update

Ngl, I've enjoyed my break away... maybe a bit too much? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm finding it hard to go anywhere near writing right now. I don't even think it's because of everything that happened, I think I'm just burned out.

I did some quick math, I wrote 65k words this year, across two series and a couple of one/two-shots, not even counting the drabbles I wrote for my milestone celebrations. And somehow, I still feel like I can't keep up? That it's not enough?

Even though you guys are the absolute best and have never, ever rushed me for updates, I got to be honest - I feel the constant pressure to create because I think people will lose interest if I don't. There are so many writers in the fandom who write so much faster than me, I can't fight the sinking feeling that I won't be missed if I took too long, or if I stopped.

At the same time, I've been discovering new outlets for my creativity, and I've been having a lot of fun. I'm not saying that writing isn't fun for me anymore - but there is a lot of expectation, stress and hair-pulling involved, and it's felt good stepping away from that.

At the beginning of the break, I thought I'd come back with an announcement of my upcoming fics. But right now, I'm not so sure. I mean, I still want to write that Hallow'seams idea, and I want to finally write Butter, but I can say for sure I'm in no state to start a series, so Summer House is shelved. I don't have a timeline, I haven't even touched a Google doc since I finished Palomino, so... yeah, I don't know.

For now, I'm going to take it easy and see where inspiration takes me. In the meantime, I'm just planning on replying to your wonderful reblogs and comments. I will be tagging Palomino spoilers as such when answering asks if you haven't read it.

I am so eternally grateful for your love and support, I hope you'll stick with me while I figure things out ❤️

[soaps-mohawk]

okay so firstly, I do have to say, it is your blog, you can do whatever you want, blah blah blah moving on

Secondly, I'd like to point out that professional writers usually take breaks between books as well. in my opinion, the first "book" of CRCB either ended after omega was rescued or will end after this next chapter depending on how long the story ends up being (I'm basing this totally off vibes btw pls don't take me seriously I beg)

that being said, you're doing this for free. FREE. if professional writers (who are paid to write) can take breaks, so the FUCK can you. the story you're creating is amazing and incredible, and while I (and probably everyone else who reads it) appreciates the regular updates, we also understand that you're a human, not a living typewriter.

take a break. please, God, take a break. focus on kyletober, or other fics, or even just go on a full writing hiatus if you need. but please, take care of yourself first. we can wait. we'll be fine. there's other authors and fics in the meantime.

Thank you, love 💚

That is true, even professional writers take breaks (I mean GRRM has taken like what more than ten years for the next ISOIAF book? Looking at you George...)

I do think this is a place where it would split into the next fic, if I was going to do things that way. There's still quite a bit to get through, even though we've kind of already had the big climax for at least that bit. So yeah, you're right that this would be the end of the first book so to speak lol.

And yeah, that's a good thing to remember. I do this mostly for free (not counting Patreon). It's a hobby and I do have a life outside of this hobby that I have to attend to that matters more than the fic and the blog and everything. I have a job because I have to have money to survive and I have appointments and friends and other things I like to do. While I've been blessed for a good chunk of the year to be able to focus a lot of time on this blog and this fic, it's just not possible anymore. At least for the time being. Come January and the end of the holiday season and as my job kind of winds down, then yeah. I'll probably be able to focus more energy on the fic and the blog again, but for now, I have to take a break.

It's not even just real life that's getting in the way, I'm burning out on the fic too. I've put out over 300k words in about eight months with weekly updates. That's a lot. That's on average almost 10k words a week counting this next chapter. It's hard to write 10k words in a single week. Chapters are starting to get hard to write and I'm finding myself excited that I'm taking a break and won't have to worry about writing the next chapter, so yeah. It's time for a little break from CRCB to let my mind focus somewhere else (I'm so hyped for Kyletober y'all have no idea) and refill those creative juices towards CRCB.

But thank you for being so understanding. Really. It's so reassuring to see everyone being so supportive. And it's not like i'm not going to be writing during this time, I'm just focusing my energy elsewhere for a bit to give myself a much needed break. 💚

[greensagephase]

Just realized how much I love the way you write your Miguel. Like instead of oversexualizing, making him animalistic or just straight up a dick (even tho he kindof is sometimes, let's be honest-)

I just love how you dive in his current trauma (not too long ago his mom got zombified like marvel give bro a break plz), include trust issues and his mental problems, while not breaking his character. You made him stubborn, a little proud, but still show slight vulnerability, and so many unsaid words. Hell, you might be one of the best Miguel writers I've ever seen on here!

I love the slow burn in NC, it makes Miguel seem more like a real person, with unbearable trauma and trust issues, who's main way to 'cope' is "by leading a society of Peter Parkers who can't pay their rent on time" (from the ATSV artbook), and as someone with a mental health too similar to Miguel's I can see myself in him (THAT'S A COMPLIMENT) with a slow build of trust

While I sometimes do enjoy a bit of smut, most of the time, it's too fast. Too quick, like- CALM DOWN LADIES (and gents), I DON'T THINK MIGUEL'S GONNA EAT YOU OUT ON THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN LIKE EMPANADAS

ALSO DID U KNO HE'S BI???

Hiii, Dino!!! Thank you for the ask, pookie!! 🥰 Also, I'm sorry for taking a few days to answer your ask. I took a few days off tumblr due to life :))

But omg, thank you!! I appreciate the kind words so much, and I’m happy that you love NC!Miguel and the slow burn! 🥹 Also, I’m glad you appreciate the acknowledgement of Miguel’s issues, traumas, and mental state within the fic. I’m no expert; no psychologist nor professional writer, but as the story expanded, I decided that I’d like to dive into Miguel’s story a little more, this being a Spider-Man Miguel fic after all, and one that’s attempting to portray Miguel as realistic as possible (or at least the way I see him and think he’d be like), so that entails including his issues, traumas, and mental state, too.

I know this has led to some chapters being a little delicate, overwhelming, and/or sad (and I’m sorry to anyone who has ever felt down or cried reading NC because they resonated with this content, or the emotions got a little too much. This has never been my intention ):), but I believe it’s important to address, especially because his issues, traumas, and mental state overall are big contributors to his behaviour and mindset in ATSV. As I said, I’m no expert, but just from what I learned in college and have learned throughout the years with personal experiences (seen close people dealing with similar issues like those Miguel has faced and is facing), I know healing from such traumas is important to move forward with life. I also know it takes time, which is a big reason why this fic is a slow burn.

I want Miguel to find himself in a healthy and positive mindset, learn to trust others, and know that he is worthy of love and friendships before he finds himself in a romantic relationship. I’ve yapped too much, but I’m glad that you appreciate that, even though these can be sensitive themes/discussions. Thank you! Also, I’m touched that you can see yourself in NC!Miguel and how he slowly begins to allow himself to trust someone. I hope that as the story progresses, you can continue to see yourself in him in a non-harmful way (I never wish to portray mental health negatively nor disrespect/offend someone)! 💖

And hehehe, your comment about the smut and empanadas has me laughing! 🤣 But I hope you can find more fics with a slower pace regarding that aspect though! I know there’s awesome and talented writers who continue to write for Miguel on here that feed my delusions about this man and post very regularly (thank you Miguel writers - ily 🥰), so keep your eyes open and support what you enjoy reading!!

ALSO, yes, but also no?? I saw a tweet a very long time ago of Oscar Isaac apparently saying Miguel was bi, but idk if it’s canon because I haven’t read any of the comics 😞 (all the plot lines within NC that align with the comics have been researched from other sources). Is it confirmed in the comics? :))

Thank you so much for the ask!! I hope you’re having a great day/night, Dino!! Pls take care!! 🫶🏼💖

Alondra❤️