#I'm sure when I reread them in five years time I would be wondering why that happened & find them absolutely hilarious

[zirconpetals]

Read "Infinity welcomes careful drivers" and "Better than life". And I don't regret it for a second, it was a worthwhile experience.

But. Who on Earth recommends them as comedy books. They do have some funny and even hilarious moments, but overall it's such an upsetting read. Genuinely.

Like sure, it's absurdist and some weird/dumb shit happens and there's some quirky narration, but evidently my brain is very good at suspension of disbelief, so those bits don't really give a tonal whiplash, and it has the full ability to focus on the parts where the main characters are going through some kind of torture carousel of horrors and have horrible things happening to them constantly.

And I heard the next books are even worse in that regard, especially Last Human. I'm still gonna read them, probably, but maybe like a few months down the line, I don't think I would be able to handle them right now.

Maybe I should have listened to the audiobooks, maybe hearing human voice would have offset some psychological damage.

[knightyoomyoui]

KNIGHT'S ALL-TIME FAVORITE TWICE FANFIC STORIES OF GREATNESS: PART 1

Heyo, Knight here! I mentioned from my previous post days ago that I decided to share some of my favorite TWICE fics that I finished reading since I reactivated my Wattpad account back in 2020. I just feel like my fellow TWICE AU authors who made these deserves much appreciation and recognition, so I made this. If you haven’t checked them out, oh you better do so. There will be more for me to share, so for now, take a look at these five stories that will be included here.

1.) "Adore You" | Mina x Nayeon by Nabongsbunny (Fluff, Smut, Angst) (2020)

I remember when this was my very first TWICE AU that I'd read after months of getting introduced to TWICE back in 2020. A friend of mine requested that I read this one after I asked her about fanfiction that features K-Pop idols, which I learned that other people were also doing it too. And my God, when I gave it a try... Although I was shocked at first at the unexpected lesbian smut that greeted me (and through the rest of the story, which my friend shyly apologizes to me for not making me aware of, lol, but I didn't mind it that much since I'm just in for the story), but all I can say is that the narration is so beautifully written, and all of the characters, especially Nayeon and Mina's, chemistry was carefully built through their backstories, moments, and decisions in life that actually can be put into real-life situations in which, despite being disappointing, you can't help but not blame them for it because... well, it's love. Also, this story was the reason that got me into listening and loving the song "Adore You" by Harry Styles. This one serves as like the official soundtrack if this would be an entire film, but you won't be surprised why the author perfectly chose this song to fit for Minayeon's story. A little glimpse to give about the story, if I remember correctly (it has been more than a year since I read it, but I'm planning to give it a reread because of how perfect it is), Nayeon is the bratty CEO of her company when she met Mina as the team leader who was appointed by her parents to take care of her as they send her to LA to enter a boarding school. There, she realized that this isn't actually their first time meeting each other when Nayeon finds Mina familiar, which brought her to recall where it all began, and the rest is one hell of a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Give it a read for yourself if you are fine with reading TWICE AU that features a ship or pair and doesn't mind a girl-to-girl relationship. I'm probably sure it would end up as one of the best TWICE AU stories you'll ever read. No wonder it became an iconic fanfic in the community. Try to ask a Minayeon fanfic to others; I bet this would be the first or one of them to be mentioned.

2.) "Move On" | Nayeon x Female Reader by @vorrentis (heavy Angst) (2018)

Is it a bit ironic that I'm not really into reading female reader x member if I'm a guy who's gonna read it yet I also read stories that features a ship in TWICE, which members are both female? Well that would be my case of not attempting to give this one a read from Vorrentis' goated TWICE one-shot book on Wattpad. Quick fun fact: Vorrentis is one of my favorite Twice AU authors and my inspiration for starting to write fanfics on my own. Okay, now back to what I was saying, thank goodness my curiosity finally had me check it out by myself a few weeks ago. The summary of this story would be Nayeon and YN, two ex-couples who broke up after Nayeon mysteriously disappeared, and YN didn't know where she went until she found out that she'd be marrying Jeongyeon, whom they both know as a friend of theirs. If you give it a read, you will see how YN would almost curse Nayeon's life to the depths of hell for breaking her heart after what she did. Beware, this story contains LOTS of strong languages because, like I said, it's heavy angst filled with confrontations and arguments. What I love about this is how the author did a great job on making the dialogues felt so real, as if when you were reading it, you can feel the intensity because it's like you're sharing the same room as them as a nosy spectator or let's say you are their child (lol). And oh, since I mentioned about how Nayeon's sinful act devastated YN's vulnerable heart brutally, here comes the mindblowing double twist that would be thrown to you as it reaches the climax. Had me gaping my mouth in shock at the back and forth of revelations.

3.) "Stuck In Fairytales" | TWICE x Male Reader by ZAKY14 (Fluff, Angst) (2020)

I found this one pretty interesting because it reminded me of "Knock Knock"'s storyline in the MV, minus the theorized creepy twist that ONCEs put in there, and when I read it, I was so entertained throughout the chapters. The author, Zaky, is known on Wattpad for writing a bunch of Twice fics, some of which feature other idols too. The story of this one is centered on "Lao Bang,"  the name of the reader here, who accidentally discovered an ancient storybook. He opened it and got sucked in there to be part of every story it contains inside, explaining why this book has arcs that feature some of the popular Disney fairytale characters that TWICE would be portraying as. This one has a sequel by the way, and it will continue to tell Lao Bang's story after he successfully escaped the book.

4.) "The Life I Never Had" | TWICE x Male Reader by Mashimuno (2020)

If you love superheroes and some action/comedy genres like me, this one is definitely for you. “The Life I Never Had” tells the story of YN, a guy who got teleported off Earth since he was 5 years old and grew up to be trained as a bounty hunter in the planet he got thrown at. One day, during a mission he got beaten up badly with his sidekick and forced to retreat onto a nearby habitable planet , and there he ends up at the Earth where he was born which is also where TWICE would be living also in this story (they're still portrayed here as idols, just like in real life, btw). It also has a multiverse concept that we usually see in Marvel and DC films. Read it if you want to see how YN would meet the girls and how his connection with them gets stronger, and it will teach him how to live an unparalleled life that he never experienced in the universe he used to live for his entire life as they get to know themselves more throughout the chapters while facing YN's adversaries from the other planet.

5.) "Sociopath" | Nayeon x Male Reader by @nichuuu (Fluff, Angst, Smut) (2023)

Back in February, I tried to search for some TWICE one-shots on Tumblr because not gonna lie I get tired of seeing bunches of smuts and nothing new in my feed. Then I found this one. Me loves tsundere because of how often I see them in animes, and the way the author made it possible by writing Nayeon's character like that in this story where she is the CEO of her company, famous for being a... well, let's say she is an evil boss who is a huge antisocial until she meets YN, who applied as her 25th secretary (insane, right?). The story is basically about how a devil meets an angel who will slowly change her perception of the reality of life, and through the people around her who will result in her change of heart. The more she also begins to fall in love with our male lead here, they also face some challenges that are related mainly to Nayeon's tragic past that brought her hostile side to emerge and live with it. The prologue was effectively hilarious when I first read it, and I knew right then that I would be reading such an awesome story. I even finished the whole chapter in just a day! It's truly one of the best rom-com TWICE fics I've read, and I highly recommend it.

[faceglitchsworld]

It's the 9th of April here, which means that it's Dongsung's birthday! Hooray 🎉

As always I made the collage dedicated to him 😄

Uhm...look I tried to find a baby picture of him but maybe I don't know how to do researchs anymore because I didn't find it. I really hope he just didn't post any baby pics or I should call myself clown at this point 🤡 I apologize for the lack of funny pictures too. But I gave you the gym pictures! :D

Enough rambling about the collage, it's time for the letter now.

I think this the first time since I started writing these letters that I'll talk about second chances. I mean, if you've been a N.fia for a while you probably know that Dongsung wasn't there since the beginning and that he joined the band very recently (compared to the other members of course). And probably you already know that he wasn't a freshman bassist but he was into a band called HONEYST, a band that sadly disbanded not even after two years.

Now, probably I'm exaggerating a little but seeing how this industry is cruel when a not well known group disbands, you can only imagine what happens when this happens to a k-band under an entertainment company. So, I always saw Dongsung joining N.Flying as one if not the greatest second chances ever happened to a musician. Now time has passed, I learned and discovered more stories about idols or musicians who got a second chance in this industry but Dongsung's story will always be stuck in my heart and will be the dearest to me.

I admit that his story and his presence has also been a sort of comfort for me when I joined the fandom. Now I'm much more chill and if I want to join a fandom or stan a group who's been into the industry for more than five years, I do it without any problems, but I still clearly remember how I was feeling goofy and out of the loop when I joined N.Fias or any very old fandom. Believe me, I reread the tags on my old reblogs, I was much more quieter and calm. I was always scared to say something stupid because I didn't know the context of some GIFs I was reblogging so I always just said something nice and leave. And then Dongsung came.

Seeing Dongsung vibing with the members, participating in every activities with them like he's been there since the beginning, how immediately he gained a connection with them everytime they performed, all of this made me more calm for sure. Someone might say that he was "advantaged" because N.Flying have always been a welcoming family since Hweseung joined the band or because he was Hun's friend but I don't think so. It's not simple gaining a connection with your members when you came "late" musically speaking, you need to understand their style and how they play before gaining it, which might take much time. And despite that, Dongsung managed to understand N.Flying style in a very short amount of time and immediately made that connection.

And of course how can I not talk about how he literally had a rivalry with Hweseung? I still laugh about how Dongsung was literally using his maknae position in front of Hweseung and making him sulking. And I love how after a while they built a wonderful relationship who made then almost inseparable.

Another reason why I love him is how I resonated with him during my first days in the fandom. The way he's always shy but then immediately gains confidence and shows his cute, soft side made me think a lot. If he could show that side, why not trying something similar? I changed my mindset thanks for that, If now I'm much more open in the tags is thanks to him.

My dear Dongsung, it's been three years already since you joined this wonderful, funny and chaotic family also known as N.Flying and I can tell you that you did so much already for the band in this short amount of time. Thank you so much for helping me being open and showing much more my true self when I want to express my love for artists that I would support until the end.

I hope you'll spend this day amazingly with the members and your family. Remember that N.Fias are always by your side.

Happy birthday, my little hamster 🐹

[ineffably-human]

Okay, in honor of the Critic's Choice Awards tonight and in hope that we will FINALLY get a season 4 release date once they know if they won for teaser/trailer bragging purposes, here's a post I've been meaning to do for ages. There's a copy of an older version of the Shadows pilot script that I stumbled on a while back. And this is definitely older older, like Guillermo is still 20 years older here and there are also a lot of differences as far as Nandor goes, things that are really intriguing to me.

Even in the pilot we got, all three of the traditional vampires have different shades of the characters they'd become and their relationships to each other. But specifically with Nandor and Guillermo, I wonder how the series would have evolved if they'd cast whatever actor they had in mind for Guillermo originally. (Apparently it was a specific person, which is why he was a Latinx/Latine character to begin with, but the guy wasn't available when it came time for casting.)

Observations as I reread this are below the cut!

- This version of Guillermo has been working for Nandor for 20 years, but I think was meant to also be 20 years older than the character we know, according to Harvey? So in his 50s and he started working for Nandor in his late 20s/early 30s, rather than age 19 or so.

- Guillermo tries to pry the stuck coffin open with a knife but Nandor tells him not to because it'll screw up the mechanism, then Guillermo pretends he wasn't just trying to do so. I wonder if proto-Guillermo was supposed to be kind of mediocre at his job.

- The opening credits are supposed to be pretty similar to what we got but "every few images, there’s a quick pop of something frighteningly grotesque -- less artistic or cultural vampire depiction, and with more of a crime-scene photo feel." I wonder just how dark this show was supposed to be at first or if they just realized there were only so many times that was going to be funny.

- The house meetings aren't a regular thing here, Laszlo thinks they "just had one" in 1981 and Nandor corrects that it was in 1891. The whole thing about the fancy room isn't part of it, they're more opposed to the concept of a meeting at all. Laszlo says he thinks it's another New World invention Nandor is trying to foist on them and he doesn't like it.

- One of the victims in the cells had five birthdays since he'd been there. Nandor made him some birthday cards, then killed him. Who is feeding these people? Guillermo, I guess? Where is the Steven Universe Future-esque episode about Guillermo's complex PTSD?

- Laszlo considers himself a Renaissance man because he was born in 1531, I'm pretty sure they've changed that since.

- Script!Laszlo worships the Baron and says legend has it their powers come from him (so I guess the Baron potentially is the Sire here). Nandor is not as sold on him and is a little jealous. He's irritated that the Baron is only showing up a day after the letter was received and makes a joke about the Baron not discovering Federal Express, which only Guillermo understands. He knows the slogan for Federal Express (or one of them, no idea if it's an out of date one) but not exactly what FedEx is, Laszlo asks if he's been secretly viewing a TV again and Nandor says no, of course not, it's a contemporary folktale Guillermo told him.

- So Nandor's The Little Mermaid complex was alive and well from the show's inception, looks like, except here there's an active taboo about vampires modernizing in any way.

- Nandor implies in a talking head that he doesn't think the Baron is as great as his own legend (I wonder if this was meant to be parallel to himself or they hadn't gotten there yet) and Laszlo does a talking head saying he thinks the Baron's heard how Nandor is running things and is coming to put a stop to it.

- Guillermo calls Nandor 'sir' a lot more here. He can also basically finish his sentences, there's a scene of him hanging one of Nandor's garments on a tailor's dummy and repeating in tandem with Nandor a thing about how the gold in the brocade came from the treasury of Vlad the Impaler.

- Instead of Guillermo thinking the Baron is coming to see him be transformed, he's put out because he thinks it's interrupted his anniversary but it'll at least be cool to see an ancient vampire.

- Nandor hasn't ventured out of the house in the entire time Guillermo has known him. He's never seen crepe paper before, 'creepy paper' isn't part of the script and I'm willing to bet it's a Kayvan thing. He specifically wants glitter in "every color", says sotto that it's meant to be like Twilight (maybe he's not supposed to know about Twilight since it's a very modern thing). Script!Guillermo is equally unimpressed with Twilight.

- "In the Old Country, we’d weave a canopy out of the flayed human skin. But I think that’s because we didn’t have crepe paper." "You want I should ask up front if they have anything that looks more like the flayed skin?" "No, Guillermo. Thank you." Guillermo's a bit rougher around the edges in general, I've read an article saying that most people auditioning tried to make him too sinister and that's why Harvey stood out, but that's honestly what comes across in the script too. When he goes to the LARPers he's pretty derogatory: "Look at them pretending to be elves and shit."

- There's still the 'little too familiar' scene, with an additional "can you see how he’s just always around me? Look at him." When they argue about the coin Nandor says he disobeyed him and then asks "it's because I didn't like the skeleton, isn't it?"

- "Can you tell me about when you became a vampire, Master? How long did you wait?" "Not that long. Hey, any progress on those virgins yet?" Implying this version of Nandor was a familiar or apprentice once as well?

- "[Some bats fly out a doorway.] LASZLO: Those are just some vampire buddies of mine. NADJA: They are just normal bats. LASZLO: That’s Jeremy and Carol! NADJA: No vampire would be called Jeremy." Jeremy is also the name on the Vampiric Council website - I think they really just like that name. And Carol, apparently. And Jeff, if Our Flag Means Death is any indication.

- Nandor is the reason they have a Stairmaster because it's supposed to improve health and stamina, Laszlo says it just made their victims very skinny very slowly. - The Baron can apparently change form and is slightly more half-man half-bat. He also doesn't eat June but his very presence apparently has Guillermo and June paralyzed with tears trickling down their cheeks.

- Guillermo makes a point of saying that he recovered Jenna and Jonathan and is keeping them in the basement even after Colin drained them (but separately, Nandor insists, so they don't devirginize each other). They're still named in the script even though they aren't in the dialogue, I wonder if there were different plans for them. - Nandor makes a point of saying that the real reason he wanted the glitter was for the portrait!! Doesn't point out that he's next to Guillermo, but the portrait is very much of the two of them. The direction says Guillermo doesn't know whether to be touched or insulted. Instead of the curtain, Guillermo says 'freaking brocade' and rips the brocade that Nandor was so intent on being unharmed off of Nandor's cape, which is the last line we get of the script.

- So intrigued by this version of Nandermo, because they have immense 'old married couple' energy. They would have absolutely been shipped by the audience in this version too, maybe even a little more easily at first but with less chance of being a canon relationship, and I think are still meant to be each other's most important person - but with the main conflict being Nandor's instead of Guillermo's.

My theory (based on very little, I admit) is that when they cast someone younger for Guillermo, they played with him having a plot with Jenna or Shanice, but ultimately came back around to the original setup: Guillermo wants to be a vampire, Nandor is intrigued by modern society and the human world in a way the other vampires don't understand, they're attached to each other but at odds.

Anyway, I know this breakdown is long, hope this was as entertaining for everyone else as it was for me! I miss this show so much, and I hope they get some well-deserved awards tonight.

[oumaheroes]

Christmas Drabbles (1)

Summary: Australia has once again forgotten to buy someone’s present and New Zealand is a little bit fed up.

Word Count: 856

Characters: Australia, New Zealand

------------

'Ah shit.'

'What?'

'I forgot Dad's present.'

Zee looked at Australia where he was making good work gently bashing his head against the headrest of his plane seat, 'You're fucked.'

'No, don't say that,' Australia took a brief pause from his soft self-adulation and looked at Zee pleadingly, 'Can I tag onto yours?'

'No.'

'Why?'

Zee didn't answer, merely turned back to their book and flipped to the next page.

Australia poked them hard in the side, 'Come on, don't be a tight arse. Why not?'

'Because you did this last year.'

'Did what?'

'This.'

'Did I?'

'Yes.'

Australia narrowed his eyes in suspicion, '... you sure?'

'Yes. You forgot uncle Rhys.'

'Well-'

'And the year before that, you forgot Matthew.'

'Look,' Australia held out his hands placatingly, 'there are a lot of people.'

Zee tutted and shook their head, 'The amount of people hasn't changed.'

'To my credit, Peter is new.'

'If sixty years is new, you mean.'

'Well yeah,' Australia fell silent a moment, large hands fiddling with the seat belt buckle across his lap. The plane began to move, nosing its way along the runway and a flight attendant passed by, checking that they were following the rules for take-off. Australia lifted his hands and shot them a cheeky grin before turning back to New Zealand and continuing his emotional barrage, 'Come on Zee, it's Dad.’

'So?'

'So! You know what he's like.'

'He probably won't mind these days. Or even really notice,' around Christmas especially England was notoriously difficult to pin down. Everyone would be arriving in London at different times to spend the holidays at his and he'd morph into a 'host', becoming increasingly more frantic and stressed about accommodating everyone properly than he ever was usually, 'Get him something when we land.'

'When we- he's picking us up!'

'So, sneak out of the house later.' Zee focused on the page, realising that they'd reread the same paragraph at least five times and hadn’t taken in anything, 'It's not like he's going to have an eye on you every second.'

'But it's Christmas eve tomorrow.'

Australia did sound truly pathetic and Zee felt a little bit of guilt trickle in. They shook their head to force it away- can't have that, 'You need to learn your lesson.’

Australia huffed and crossed his arms, 'You sound just like Dad when you say that.'

New Zealand refused to rise to the bait, 'I'm still not sharing.'

'Ugh.' A wonderful silence fell and Zee got through three whole pages before Australia spoke again, 'I could ask Matthew.'

Zee snapped their book shut, 'Absolutely not.'

Australia's eyes glinted wickedly, 'Why not?'

'No. No, don't be a dick; he'll do it because he's too nice and that's not fair.'

'You're not exactly giving me many options here, mate.'

'It will be fine.'

'You said I was fucked earlier!' Australia was started to gesture a bit too wildly with his hands, 'You know out of all of them Dad is the worst to forget.'

This was very true, 'That's not true. It's only bad still because he's the host but if you find him something it'll be fine. We're all adults now and he won’t take it personally.'

Australia gave Zee a look that very much conveyed how little he believed them. Zee didn't really believe themselves, to be honest. Their father had a very careful, particular way of letting any of his children know they'd mildly to significantly disappointed him and the mere thought of the receiving end was enough to make Zee's hands sweat. It was an entirely different look to when England was angry. England angry was something Zee could deal with- it was easy to spot and quick to blow over, despite its ferocity. England disappointed often tipped into the scathing or icy variety that could last a whole lot longer and made you want to peel your skin off from anxiety fuelled guilt, warranted or not.

This was kind of warranted.

The plane banked left, early morning sun flashing directly through the window from the sharp turn and painting them both a soft yellow. Zee tucked their book under their seat and shut their eyes to avoid the glare.

Australia gave their hand a squeeze and Zee automatically threaded their fingers together, armrest up to give them both more room to blend together naturally, ‘I’ll help you look.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. If you get him tat it’ll be even worse.’

A quick, dry kiss on their cheek, Australia’s soap a familiar smell, ‘Cheers.’

A sudden acceleration and they were in the sky, New Zealand’s land and people dropping away from them to leave them cut adrift in the unpeopled air. It was the only time Zee ever really felt close to what a human did, nothing but their own emotions and thoughts within them. A person of one, not a collective of many.

Safely in the air, seatbelt sign blinking off, Australia let go of Zee’s hand and cracked his elbows, ‘He likes ornaments, right? What about getting him a huge glass one to replace that Georgian centre piece that I bro-‘

‘Don’t.’

------------

AN:

Okay, so this is a drabble challenge to myself to keep things short and sweet for once, so the aim with these drabbles is to keep each under 1000 words (the aim was 500 a piece but I already failed that lol). I’m not sure how many there’ll be yet, but hopefully it’ll make a story by the end of it!

Part 2

[look-i-love-u]

Hey Vey😍 How are you?

I'm trying to read more AU fics! What kind of AUs are your favorite? Do you have any fic recommendations?

Hey Anon,

currently wondering how and why Tuesday somehow always manage to be the worst day of the week. What's going on with that? Other than that I feel happy and ready to gush about the wonders that are AUs.

Because, I love AUs. They're my favourite thing in fandoms and ffs. AUs fix any canon sh*t, AUs give you the same thrill of a first meeting/a first kiss/falling in love, AUs keep the spark alive when a show ends because the possibilities don't end, AUs combine stories you love.

So yeah, I kind of love any and all AUs. Especially get-together AUs. And of course the ones with happy endings. There's something special about a good coffee shop!AU. Oh, and I love AUs inspired by films. I love watching a film and imagining my faves in the main character roles and how they would change the story.

And of course I got fic recs. Under the cut because there are a few:

Before it gets angsty. here's a fluffy one. ;)

Flower U-Up, which I've written. The typical flower shop! Au with Mickey as the shop owner, EMT!Ian and a very special scene that formed my teenage years.

Your Wish is Granted by @marzgaperez: a body swap!AU that I have read about three or four times now. I like my stories with a hint of angst and this story as got it all. Makes me laugh, cry and just long for their inevitable happy ending. It's an AU from s6 on, so it's not a get-together fic.

Finding Light in the Shadows by Dodgerbear: S2!AU. Ian gets hurts and Mickey doesn't leave his side. And suddenly there's a new future before them and a nice hope is suddenly shining bright. I hugged my pillow while reading this. Ian's pain is Mickey's pain and his love shared too. It's so good!

Two fics by keepgoing: 100 Letters: Still one of the best ffs I have ever read. So much is said in so many words. My heart still hurts rereading it, I still cry, still get that nice tingly pull when my heart is mended again alongside Ian and Mickey's. S8 AU. TW: Suice Attempts!!

Running against the Wind: farmer!Ian AU. Two lost boys meet on a farm and find their way to each other through hard work and a huge misunderstanding. Tight jeans and muscles and emotions and angst. Sign me up!

If he's the Moon I'm eclipsed by myfavouritesweater: blind!Ian fic. Season 1/season 2 AU/ get together. Hurts at times. But Mickey is gentle and Ian is seeing Mickey's heart, rather than his dirty bruised skin.

and to end with some more light hearted AUs after the angst:

Take this Waltz by @loftec: Teacher!Ian Au. Yev is a delight. Mickey is the best drama club kid!Dad. I chuckled and laughed a lot reading this.

And another story I reread five times:

Is there somewhere by andchaos: soulmate!Au/ mute!Ian: I looooove a good soulmate fic and this is one of the best imo. Knowing what you know while Mickey and Ian don't know what's actually going on is the sweetest torture. You just want to scream at them but the author makes sure they get their happy ending. Frustrating and lovely in the best possible way!

*I don't know if authors are on tumblr under a different url. Please let me know if so, so I can tag them properly.

[tryingmybestpls]

Not A Team: Part 2- New World Order

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The Reader gives a speech at the opening of Steve’s exhibit and has a talk with Sam following his speech.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, talks of death, talks of mental illness, feelings of isolation

Read Part One here

Listen to the playlist inspired by the series here

Y/N felt like coming here today was a mistake.

Her stomach tossed and turned like a stormy sea, threatening to send her breakfast all over Rhodey's shiny shoes. She was second guessing everything. Was her dress nice enough? Rhodey had told her she looked great, but she hadn't worn a dress since Steve's funeral-Oh God, what if he was lying to her? No, he wouldn't lie to her-but what if he felt bad? Jesus, dd her shoes look stupid? Maybe she shouldn't have worn heels-but then she always wore heels with dresses and if she wore flats that would look childish. Did her speech sound coherent? Fuck, what if she messes up. Would they think she was doing it on purpose out of retribution for what Steve did? No, they didn't know what Steve did, what he had done to her. What if-

"Hey, hey. What's wrong? You look like you're going to blow chunks." Rhodey cuts through her thoughts like a hot knife through butter. He puts his hand on her back, "Breathe, Y/N."

"Maybe this a bad idea, Rhodey. I mean they have Sam. I think Sam can handle this." She stumbles over her words, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and she swore her hands were shaking,

"You're going to be okay, but you need to relax. I've read and reread your speech a dozen times. It's perfect." Rhodey tries to soothe her, his hand rubbing her back. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, working on slowing her breathing. In through her nose and out through her mouth.

"Hey pretty lady, I was wondering where the exhibit is. I'm supposed to be giving a speech there today." A voice calls out, sending Y/N's eyes flying open. She turns on her heels, being greeted by the sight of Sam walking towards them, holding the leather case that carries the shield. Y/N can feel the tension melting out of her shoulders as a smile spreads across her nervous face.

"Rhodey, I think they might be letting anyone speak here today." Y/N teases, the anxiousness slipping away, releasing its hold on her. Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head at his friend's antics. She hadn't seen Sam since the days following Steve's funeral and right now, he's a welcome sight. Sam rests his hand over his heart, feigning hurt as he gets closer.

"You wound me, woman." Sam jokes, smiling right back at her. They embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck as his go around her waist, "I missed you, kid."

"I've missed you too, Sammy." She murmurs back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. They pull away and Sam smiles at her, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. Rhodey clears his throat, gently touching Y/N's upper arm.

"Hey I need to go talk to some people, alright?" Rhodey announces, almost as if he is asking permission. Y/N just smiles and nods, the smile staying on her face until he walks away from the two.

"How are you feeling, Y/N?" Sam questions, to which Y/N sighs, looking down at her shoes.  She stays quiet for a moment, feeling his eyes on her.

"You want the truth or you want me to tell you what I tell Rhodey?" She replies, looking back at him. Y/N shifts from one foot to another, glad they were far from the crowd that was gathering. He gives her a look, giving her an answer without opening his mouth. She sighs again, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

"I don't sleep, not really. I get maybe an hour a night if I am lucky. I-The house is filled with boxes that I can't unpack because-" Her voice cracks, her chest rising and falling quickly. She bites the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to not cry, "I thought that leaving the apartment would make him go away, but it didn't."

"Well Steve was always stubborn." Sam responds, making a laugh bubble out of her throat before she could stop it. There was an "I'm sorry" buried in the joke and Y/N knew it, but decided to only focus on the joke.

-

The stage looked daunting.

She forced herself up those steps, the person who had introduced her still had his hand outstretched towards her. Y/N wondered if she could make a run for it. Sure people will be mad at her, but she won't be forcing herself through this. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, the clapping nothing but a ringing in her ears. For a moment, her eyes landed on the giant banner of her husband, a lump forming in her throat. He was watching over her, his face emotionless as his eyes seemingly followed her every step. Cameras flashed as she stood on the stage, striding over to the podium. Once she stood in front of it, a hush fell over the crowd.

Y/N Rogers had saved thousands of lives. She was an Avenger and had faced countless foes. Hell, her wedding had more people in attendance than this event, but she still felt sick to her stomach. Y/N gave them all a smile as she forced herself to calm down, swallowing hard before speaking.

"To say that Steve Rogers was a special man is putting lightly. He was a hero that many of us, myself included, aspired to be one day. And while many of you only knew him as Captain America, I was among the lucky few that got to know him just as Steve Rogers. Now I could stand up here and tell you about every battle he won, how valiantly he fought-but everyone else is going to do that. Hell, you can read about it in the exhibit." Y/N chuckles, blinking away the tears in her eyes as the crowd laughs.

Y/N finds Rhodey and Sam in the crowd, both of them giving her smiles of encouragement. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the diamond on her wedding ring sparkling in the light. It's the first time she's worn it in a while, but it felt almost right to wear it. Once again, she's pretending like Steve didn't leave her. No, Y/N is ignoring that completely, almost blissfully. These people only know Steve as Captain America, as a god-damned American hero. She isn't going to tarnish that, won't ruin his legacy. And regardless of what Steve did to her, she is still in love with him and she wants to talk about the man she fell in love with, not the one that hurt her. Y/N inhales and exhales shakily before continuing.

"Steve was so much more than just Captain America. He was my best friend and my husband. He was the type of man to pick up flowers for you just because. The type of man to tell you that you looked really pretty even though you were covered in dirt and ash. He would let me go on and on about things that didn't even matter, but with the way he paid attention you would think that I was telling him the secrets of the world. Steve loved staying in and having movie marathons-he-he had a list he'd carry with him to write down things he needed to learn about. Before we dated, he would text me randomly, asking me why Jar Jar Binks is hated so much or asking me to explain what emojis are. He never quite got the hang gof the latter." A laugh comes out of Y/N's mouth, the crowd following suit. There was a smile on her face, a warmth spreading in her chest.

"He's the man I'll be in love with until the day I die, but then I'll fall in love all over again because I'll be able to see him again. Steve was the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met and while I will always wish we had more time together, I was lucky to have him as long as I did. We were all lucky to have him." Y/N pauses again, her throat constricting with emotion, "Even though he's gone, Steve lived a long life-a life longer than some of us get and I am happy that so many different facets of his life is going to be explored and shared with so many people. I hope you all enjoy the exhibit. Thank you."

The applause that followed was almost thunderous. Y/N smiled as her heart slammed against her ribcage, cameras flashing as she made her way off the stage. She was glad it was finally over as she moved to stand next to Rhodey and Sam. Sam kissed her cheek before he climbed up the stairs to the stage. Rhodey rubbed her back, telling her quietly that she did great. She just nodded in response, her eyes on her friend, watching as Sam leaned the shield against the plexiglass podium.

"Thank you Y/N for making my job a lot harder." Sam teases, causing everyone to chuckle. Y/N smiles right back at him, shaking her head as her friend carries on, "Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered poising stoically. "

Sam's a natural at this, standing up there like its nothing. And while Y/N should be focused on the speech, her eyes keep drifting down to the shield at his feet.

"The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing," Sam chuckles, picking up the shield, "I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy, but also, we look to the future. So thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you."

Y/N feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sam hand the shield off. Her chest feels tight and she-she can't be here. There's a ringing on her ears and she can't breathe. Y/N pushes through the crowd, not bothering with pleasantries as she does it. A dozen emotions rack her body, causing her hands to start to heat up. She forces it down, deep down as she walks into an empty bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Sam gave away the shield.

He gave it away.

Like it was nothing.

And she wants to scream, wants to cry, but it won't come out. Y/N won't let it, not now when she is still in public. She walks over to the sinks, her hands gripping the counter. Her eyes are rimmed with red, eyes all watery. Her red painted lips press into a thin line as she forces herself to not cry, practically glaring at her reflection. What did her therapist tell her to do? Ah yes, breath in and out. In and out.

This was all too much way too soon. She couldn't handle this. She was being bombarded with memories and emotions already and now Sam giving the shield away? She felt like she was going to lose it. A part of her felt like she was overreacting. overthinking this whole situation. And maybe she was. Y/N did that from time to time. Tony had told her she was an expert of making mountains out of molehills. Maybe Sam just didn't want to be Captain America, didn't want to shoulder that burden. That was understandable. It was a shitty, shitty job-one that Sam didn't ask for. He shouldn't be forced to take on the mantle of Captain America, not when the previous owner had tossed it away so carelessly.

Yet, the bigger part of her was incredibly upset. Angry at the fact that Sam handed off the shield to be shelved in a museum. Overwhelmed by the amount of Steve that was everywhere. Confused over the multitudes of feeling that were swarming her body.

And there was nothing she could do about any of them. She just had to grin and bear it, just like she's been doing since Steve decided he much rather spend an entire lifetime with a woman he knew for a few months. So Y/N collected herself, blinked away her tears, and left the bathroom. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her towards the one place she didn't want to be.

The exhibit.

Steve's image is plastered on every single surface, telling the details of every part of his life. Scrawny Steve, bootcamp Steve, darling icon of patriotism during the war Steve, frozen Steve, Battle of Manhattan Steve, cartoon Steve punching Hitler, Steve during Sokovia, Steve on the run. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. He covers every single square inch, which makes sense because this is his exhibit. And while Y/N knows she should just turn on her heel and not put herself through it, she throws caution to the wall. She's already incredibly upset, so she might as well pour gallons and gallons of salt and lemon juice into that open wound.  So she forces herself deeper into the exhibit, running straight into the very last man she wants to see at this moment.

"You know I wasn't expecting to find you here." Sam tells her as soon as her foot enters the next room. She keeps her mouth shut, so he adds "Rhodey is looking for you."

"You know on his right sleeve of his suits, right near his wrist, he had my initials stitched. He told me he wanted to carry a piece of me into every mission, into every fight." Y/N announces as she looks at a picture of Steve on a mission, most likely taken by Natasha. Sam sighs, walking over to her, wanting her to see his point of view.

"Look I know you're upset-" He starts, but is immediately cut off by a dry chuckle slipping out of Y/N's mouth as she walks around the room. She wants to lay in to him, wants to give him a piece of her mind.

"Oh I am far past the point of being "just upset", Wilson. It wasn't yours to give away. I-I don't care if you didn't want the mantle, but..." Her angry words trail off once she realizes what part of the exhibit she has reached, her face dropping.

Y/N stops in front of a part of the exhibit labeled 'Two Heroes United'. Her eyes roam over the pictures of her and Steve's wedding and the pictures taken throughout the duration of their relationship, so much more than what the file Rhodey had left detailed. So many smiles, so much happiness filling each and every picture. Her facade is cracking, chipping away as she forces herself to study every picture, studying their faces over and over, trying to see if there was something she had missed, if-if there was something she could have said or done to hold onto him a little longer. If there was something hidden behind his smile, behind his touches, they don't reveal themselves in the photographs.

She's just a footnote in his life, a blurb at the end of a long story. A tool to make him look like an all-American family man. Bucky and Sam had much larger parts of the exhibit dedicated to their roles in Steve's life and who they are outside of being Steve's friends. Y/N-well Y/N gets this, a paragraph saying that she was on the team and then married Steve. She is just haphazardly tacked onto the story of his life, a cute story to make people feel all warm inside. He got his happily ever after, they'll say-or they'll whisper to one another God she was so lucky to have him. They won't ask if she got her happily ever after or if she feels lucky now.

Sam got to hand off the shield, got to throw away the title of Captain America. He gets to keep on living his life after this, but Y/N-Y/N will always be Steve's wife. And it doesn't matter how many people she saved or what she did with her time on earth, she will only be know for being the wife of the man who abandoned her. Y/N's tied to him for eternity, stuck loving a man who decided to love someone else.

And then, just like that, something inside of her just snaps. Her facade fully crumbles, leaving her unable to mask what she's going through.  Y/N's eyes fill up with tears and she's unable to blink them away before they spill over the edge, sending tears rolling down her cheeks. And as she stood there, crying in the middle of the exhibit dedicated to Steven Grant Rogers, a depressing epiphany popped into her mind.

The shield was the last part of Steve that she had that wasn't tainted in some way, a piece of him that she could still bear to see. And Sam had just given it away, leaving her with nothing but memories that would haunt her.

-

"I watched your speech. You did really good, Y/N." Her therapist praises, giving her a soft smile. Y/N nods, twisting her wedding ring on her finger. She had decided to start wearing it again, even though her feelings about Steve were still conflicted. While a part of her thought that this meant she was healing, Y/N knew it was more likely tied to the fact that Sam had given up the shield.

"It-It felt good." Y/N replies, shifting in her seat. She had thought it was a subtle movement, but Dr. Raynor gave her a look. After a few months of court-ordered appointments, the therapist knew Y/N all too well and she sure as hell knew when Y/N wasn't telling the truth.

"Something is upsetting you. What happened?" The doctor questions, clicking her pen. Y/N dreaded the noise. It meant a longer session, more bandaids being ripped off in order to force the wounds into the light. It would mean she would return to her home a little colder, a little emptier.

"Nothing happened. It-I had a good day. A good week." Y/N tries to reassure her, even going as far as to give her what she thought was a honest smile. Dr. Raynor held up her pad of paper, making a show of slowly bring the pen down to the paper. Y/N's smile falls and she looks down at her hands, letting out a small sigh.

"He-Sam gave away the shield. He gave it away like it was nothing." The ex-hero announces, feeling like a scolded child. Raynor lowers her pen and paper, settling back into her seat.

"And you feel like he shouldn't have?"

"No. No, Steve-Steve chose him. Steve gave him the shield because he knew that Sam was good, that Sam could handle it. And-And Sam just gave it away." Y/N stammers, picking at a thread that was hanging off her shirt.

"You know, I think that is the first time you have said his name aloud." Raynor mentions, causing Y/N to stop her movements. The thread is caught between her fingers, pulled taut. The doctor continues, "You always refer to Steve as 'he' or 'him' or 'my husband'. You never say his name."

"I don't think I was ready to be around...Steve. Not that much." Y/N tries to shift the focus, shame filling her, her face feeling hot. She knows she has her reasons not to say his name, but she still felt terrible about not being able to say his name.

"But you still spoke at the opening of his exhibit. I'm sure everyone would more than understand why you couldn't. So why did you decide on speaking?" The therapist asks, taking down a couple notes of her pad of paper. Y/N stays silent for a moment, letting go of the thread to start twisting her ring again.

"I-I don't know. Rhodey asked me and I-I guess I thought I could do it. And the speech wasn't bad I just-I wasn't expecting Sam to give away the shield." Y/N responds, her voice soft. She feels so small, sitting here on this charcoal grey couch. Y/N almost felt...stupid for being so angry at Sam. It wasn't his fault at all and as Y/N said everything out loud, she felt like such an asshole.

"If you would've known that Sam wanted to give the shield away, would you have stopped him?" Dr. Raynor replies, leaning forward slightly as she takes a few notes. Y/N feels herself sinking into the couch.

"I don't know. I-I wish he would have just told me so that we could've talked about it." She answers, looking out of the window. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, blocking out a lot of the sunlight that wanted to shine down on the city. Y/N didn't know if she would have actually forced him to keep the shield. That wasn't on him to have hold on to hat chunk of vibranium. It was wrong for Steve to have thrown that all on Sam. What would be the alternative? For her to keep the shield? Y/N highly doubted that the United States government would allow that.

-

Y/N was watering her garden when her phone started to ring in her back pocket. She quickly moves to shut off the water hose before she slips the phone about her pocket. Sam's name and picture appears on her screen, making uneasiness fill her stomach. Y/N exhales through her noise loudly before answering it, holding the phone against her ears.

"Have you seen the news?" Sam asks, not even letting her get a single syllable out.

"No, I've been outside-What's going on, Sam?" Y/N questions, making her way to the house. Something was definitely wrong. Sam never called her unless it was for emergencies. if they did communicate, it was mainly through texting. Her heartbeat started to race, as did her thoughts. A million different scenarios filled her head, each one worse than the last.

"You need to turn on the news right now." Sam replies as she opens the back door, quickly crossing the kitchen and walking into the living room. Her hands are almost shaking as she picks up the remote, turning the television on. Luckily for her, the last thing she had been watching was the news. Unluckily for her, she was greeted with a man holding the shield-Steve's shield, dressed in what looked like an off-brand, shitty version of the Captain America suit.

Anger filled her body. It had been four days tops since Sam handled off the shield and already, they had found their 'new Captain America'. The man in question was smiling smugly in the ill-fitting suit, waving at the camera, holding onto his shield tightly. God, Y/N wanted to beat the shit of the man and every single person who had okayed this. She could only hear bits and pieces of the speech as the news replayed it, but even that bullshit was too much for her to handle. She muted the television, tossing the remote on the couch.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/N exclaims, her hands getting warm. The Avenger was unable to get to anything articulate as rage filled her. She quickly put the phone on speaker, setting the device down just in case her hands caught flame.

"I know. I know. It's fucking bullshit." Sam replies, sighing. Y/N paced in front of the television, trying to calm herself down before she burned a hole through her rug. On the screen, the fake Cap was talking about something, a saccharine smile spread across his face. Y/N wanted to take that God damn shield and smash his teeth in.

"That asshole has my husband's fucking shield. They-He isn't supposed to be Captain America, okay? It's just not-It's not theirs to give away." Y/N's voice cracks towards the end, tears filling her eyes. While she wasn't Steve's number one fan, she hated that they had already chose someone to take up his title. If Sam wasn't going to be Captain America, then no one should be Captain America.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wouldn't have given away the shield if I would've known...I'm sorry." Sam murmurs over the phone. Y/N covers her face with her almost glowing hands as she tries to control her breathing, not able to respond to Sam’s apologies. Her sadness and anger quickly shifted into something else. 

Something inside of her switched on, something that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since she was a hero, back when she was an Avenger.

Y/N wanted to go to work.

------

Not A Team taglist (if you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know!)

@lady-elena-adeline​ @simonedk​ @hersilencedscreams​ @rqmanoff​

[dangerously-human]

4, 20, 21, 22, 25 :)

I will confess that responding to your ask took the longest, because you asked the WONDERFUL question that involved combing through a bunch of my own writing to find something I liked and wanted to talk about, which was quite fun but anyway, that's why this response is kinda late!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

This is a snippet from the Sparky imprint fic. I'm fond of it because everyone feels in character, even Sheppard, who is turning out to be difficult to write dialogue for:

The minutes feel interminable - and really, she should be accustomed by now to the time dilation that seems to occur whenever she’s worrying over Colonel Sheppard - but in reality, probably fewer than five minutes actually pass before he starts to stir. Elizabeth lets out a long, unsteady breath. To her surprise, when John’s eyes flicker open, his pupils focus with no problem - so it’s possible he’s not even concussed.

“Hey,” she says softly. “Nice to have you back with us.”

His forehead furrows in confusion. “I distinctly remember being upright before,” he says. “How long ago did I decide to take a little nap?”

Rodney’s gaze flicks to Elizabeth like he’s seeking permission to make a joke, but at the unguarded ferocity in her expression, he clearly thinks better of it. “You haven’t been out that long, maybe five minutes,” he explains. “You managed to catch the device before it hit the floor, and then - and then you hit the floor instead,” he finishes lamely.

John winces. “Any idea what that thing does? Other than knock me on my ass, I mean.”

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

This question makes me wish I was the kind of writer who included such Easter eggs. Um, well, I always write Endeavour fic with nods to my firm headcanon that Morse has ADHD, even when it isn't totally relevant to the story at hand. In writing his and Joan's daughters for later chapters of A Shifting Cadence, I've been determined to get across that at least their youngest, Zoe, also has ADHD, and while I'm not sure that I'll be able to work it in, I've spent a LOT of time working on squeezing in a bit about her getting diagnosed and Joan raising an eyebrow at Morse when she hears what this ADD (as it would have been in the 80s) business is all about.

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

I sometimes have an idea that makes me really wish I could draw or paint, because it's more of a visual than a story, but I don't have that particular skill at this point. I'm not sure that any of the stories I actually end up telling would work in another medium, though. Maybe one day I'll write more fic poetry, that was a really fun challenge with Love, to You, Is last year.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Some of them! I feel like I end up rereading Just Once and Still Here every couple months, partly because they're some of my faves and partly because there just isn't a lot of Continuum fic to begin with. I still like most of my more recent writing, although some of it makes me cringe a little (I very rarely reread A Thousand Reasons, for example, because it's hard not to focus on everything I'd do differently if I wrote it now); my older stuff is from so many years ago that even what would probably count as embarrassing feels like the product of passion from a younger self, so I can excuse it, ya know?

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Answered here

[reynahermione]

HI... I love your Apollo x reader so bad I'm crying aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Can you make another Apollo X Reader where reader is like going on a quest w Percy and reader got wounded and Apollo who have a crush on reader but pretends that he doesn't have a crush on reader get super worried and like confessed to reader uwu. I'm sorry if it's confusing, anyway LOVE YOU

HI! Thank you so much for reading and requesting this, I really hope you love it!

pairings: Apollo X Reader | Percy Jackson X Reader (platonic)

warnings: near-death experience 

You were having a wonderful day. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight, there was a nice slight breeze flying by, the strawberries were growing nicely, everyone seems to be in a great mood, nothing could ruin your day. Or so you thought. When you arrived at your cabin, you spotted your best friend since middle school, Percy Jackson. You both arrived together at camp all those years ago and have been by each other’s side since. But from the smile on his face, you knew he was about to ask for something. 

“Wanna go on a quest?” He smiled as you stopped by the steps of your cabin. 

You crossed your arms over your chest, “Wow. Hey Y/n, how are you today? Oh! Hey, Percy! I was having such a great day, thanks for asking.” 

He dramatically rolled his eyes, “Hey Y/n, I’m so happy you had a great day. Wanna go on a quest with me?” 

“Sure, what are we doing?” You asked going up the steps of your cabin, heading to the door. 

“Hermes is down so Demeter wants us to give Persephone something.” He held up a small wrapped package.

That doesn’t sound very hard. This quest could very possibly only be a day or two long. 

“Alright. Give me a minute to pack.” 

You entered your cabin and went straight to your bunk. Grabbing your bag from the trunk by your bed, you quickly started to shove in your quest essentials: your extra toothbrush, toothpaste, clothes, deodorant, drachmas, money, and your emergency dagger that y/g/p gave to you on your sixteenth birthday. After you close your bag, you put it on just as the door was opened. You turned to see your little sister, Ginger, walking in, with a bright red face and goofy smile.

You smiled at her, “What’s with the smile Ginger?” 

She giggled as she rushed over to hug you. You bent down and caught her in your arms, picking her up and tightly hugging her. 

“Apollo is outside and he says I look radiate.” She giggled. 

Apollo is outside? Well, that’s not really shocking. Ever since his punishment ended he has been visiting Camp more often and hanging out with his children. You would be a liar if you said you hadn’t fallen for the sun god. How could you not? During his time as a mortal, you realized your crush on him. He had unquestionably grown as a person and it made your heart flutter whenever you two would hang out together. Part of you selfishly wanted him to remain mortal so the two of you could be together, but you accept the fact that he probably only saw you as a close friend. Apollo has been hanging around some of the other campers lately and has become a bit distant.

Placing Ginger down, you ruffled her curly brown hair, “He’s a bit too old for you Gin, like a couple of centuries too old. I don’t think y/g/n is gonna approve of that.” She playfully rolled her eyes, unraveling herself from your hold. 

“He’s talking to Percy outside. He told me to tell you to hurry up.” She skipped away further into the cabin. 

Walking to the door, you stop about a foot away from it and fixed your clothes, and smoothed your hair out with your hands. You hoped that Aphrodite would give you a quick blessing before opening the door and stepping out, seeing Percy and Apollo speaking to each other on the steps of your cabin. 

“Morning Apollo!” You smiled as they both turned to look at you. 

“Morning Flower! Are you going somewhere?” He asked motioning to your bag. 

You nodded, “Yup, I’m going with Percy to giving something to Persephone.” 

He gave Percy a look, it almost looked judgemental to you. Why would he give Percy that type of look? 

“Did you ask her to go with you?” He questioned Percy, in an off-putting tone.

“Uh-yeah. Persephone likes y/n. I figured bringing y/n along would make Persephone happy.” Percy shrugged. 

“Why would you care if he asked me?” You defensively asked, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He looked at you again, opening and closing his mouth, trying to formulate an excuse.

“I-I-I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“Yeah whatever,” you scoffed, “come on Perc. Let’s get this over with.” 

You grabbed Percy by his arm and dragged him away from the bumbling God who was yelling out apologies. How dare he even ask something like that? You helped save Olympus for crying out loud! If saving Olympus wasn’t good enough for him, you were going to show just how well you could handle yourself on a quest. Here you were thinking that he had changed into a better person/god.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The train cart was quiet as it went to its destination, Washington D.C. Why Persephone was there was beyond you, but you couldn’t wait to see your old friend. Percy sat in the seat across from you, staring out the window. He had been quiet since you left the camp. You assumed he was letting you cool down.

“He didn’t mean it that way, ya know.” 

You looked at your best friend. He was still staring out of the window, arms loosely folded across his chest. 

“But why would he even ask that? Like-I helped save Olympus for crying out loud. Does he not think I can handle doing a quest?” 

Percy chuckled as he shook his head, a smile on his face, “You’re so blind.”

You scoffed, “Blind about what? He’s an asshole.” 

“Y/n, he has a crush on you.” 

You stared at Percy in shock. He what? Apollo has a crush on you?

“Apollo has had a crush on you since his punishment. You never noticed how he would literally agree with everything you would say, laugh a little too hard at your non-funny jokes, and wanted to hang out with you every second of the day?” 

You had to think about that. Honestly, you didn’t see it as him wanting to be closer to you because he liked you. It just felt as if he just wanted to be around someone he was familiar with. Him having a crush on you was the last thing you expected. 

“Look, he told me to give this to you when you’re in a better mood. Apollo can be an idiot, but I can tell that he wants to make things better with you.” 

Percy handed you a folded up piece of paper. You slowly took the piece of paper and looked at it. Your name had been written on the top in elegant cursive writing. Glancing up at Percy, you see him leaned back on his seat, eyes closed, getting comfortable in the seat to take a quick nap. Looking back down at the folded note, you open it up and see many attempts at haikus filling the page. Many of them were crossed out, and some were unfinished with self ridiculing comments written around them. Why would he send you a page filled with unfinished haikus? You turned the page and saw that he had another unfinished haiku written, but this one was different. It had arrows pointing towards it and little hearts and stars surrounding it. 

‘Little Flower

My little flower

Blooms under the starry night sky

And that’s all I have…’

Your face felt hot as you reread the title and unfinished haiku. As far as you knew, you were the only person that Apollo called ‘flower’ and he had never called you his little flower. Maybe he did have a crush on you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beginning half of the quest had gone well. It took you a minute to regain yourself from the discovery, but you had to put it aside to focus on the quest. You swore to yourself that you would speak to Apollo as soon as you got to Camp again. 

After delivering the package to Persephone, she asked for you both to take her young demigod son Timothy with you to Camp. Taking Timothy with you, both of you heightened your awareness. The most powerful son of Poseidon, the child of y/g/p, and the young son of Persephone was a bright neon sign calling out to monsters to come eat them. That’s how you got into this situation, running away from five echidnas and two harpies who were hot on your trail. You held little Timothy in your arms as you ran through the woods, ducking and jumping over tree branches, heading to Camp. Percy ran beside you, trying his best to block any attacks from hitting you or Timothy. Once you saw the border guards, you began to scream at them for help.

“Help!” The two closest guards jumped at the sound of your panicked voice and immediately ran over to help out. 

“You’re mine child of y/g/p!” 

Before you could cross the border, a searing pain came from near your left collar bone area and you watch as a spear came out through your body-your blood coating the tip of the spear. Timothy screamed in horror as you fell forward, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you fell unconscious. His tiny hands clutched your shirt as his screams drew the attention of other guards and campers passing by. One such camper being Will Solace, son of Apollo. Running up the hill, he stops when he sees the scene before him. You laid unresponsive on top of a small child who was screaming for help and a bloody spear stuck out through your body. He felt his blood turn cold as he prayed to every god and fates that you weren’t dead. He bolted to your side and carefully took Timothy out from under you, handing him off to another camper that came to help. 

“Stay with me y/n.” He tried his best to put pressure on your wound but it wasn’t much help. He was going to need the big guns. His dad.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nothing felt different. You slowly woke up without an ounce of pain rushing through your body. Your throat didn’t feel dry, your collar bone area didn’t hurt, and your head didn’t hurt either. Everything felt normal. Well, except for a strange presence laying between your legs. Carefully lifting your head, you look down at your legs and see a little body cuddled in between your legs. It was Timothy. He had a tight grip on the blanket covering you.

“You swore you would keep them safe Percy!” 

You slowly turned your head to the loud voice and tried to focus your eyes on the two people standing by the door. It took a moment before your eyes adjusted and you saw Apollo and Percy. 

“I tried! We can’t help it that monsters want to kill us Apollo, I let y/n run while I took them on. I thought they were safe.” Percy’s voice cracked as he defended himself. 

“Well, they’re clearly not,” Apollo turned to point at you but he froze when he saw you staring right at him. “Y/n!” 

He dried his tears and ran to your side, dropping down next to your cot. The god had more tears in his eyes, his once golden skin and breathtaking blue eyes were blotchy and dull. He gently grabbed hold of your hand closest to him while you laid your head back on the pillow. 

“Do you like me?”

 Of course, that is the first thing you ask after almost dying. 

Apollo let out a laugh as he brought your hand up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your hand. Tears ran down his blotchy red cheeks as he lovingly stared down at you.

“You’re seriously asking me that?” He asked. 

“I need a solid answer-,” 

Apollo kissed you. You were momentarily shocked but quickly reacted by kissing him back. You could’ve never dreamt of a kiss like this. Albeit a gentle kiss, you felt all of the passion and love he was putting into it. His kiss had you forgetting about the world around you and made you feel like you were his world, because to Apollo, you were just that. His world. His everything. The person he wanted to change for and give them the world. 

When he heard Will’s prayers, he felt as though his entire world crumbled. He rushed down to the infirmary and did everything in his power to heal you. He couldn’t lose another love, especially if he could stop it. Blocking off anyone from going near you (except for Timothy. Apollo could bare to say no to his little puppy dog eyes), he acted as your bodyguard, monitoring you, feeding you nectar, telling you about his day, singing random hymns and jingles. He wasn’t going to lose you. Not before he even had you. 

The kiss was short, but it gave you your answer. Apollo was head over heels in love with you and you felt the same way about him. Looking at the god, you saw a new set of fresh tears forming and him smiling down at you. You smiled back at him while reaching over and drying his eyes with the hand he had been holding. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

He frantically nodded his head while drying his face again with his hands, “You can tell me anything you want my little flower.”

You smiled, “The second line of your haiku had eight syllables.”

For a moment, you both stared at each other before erupting into loud laughter, only stopping when a tiny groan came from the sleeping toddler laying between your legs. You looked at Apollo, admiring him as he did the same to you. His little flower. 

“Can I read you the updated version?” He asked, pulling something out of his pocket. 

You excitedly nodded. He opened the folded piece and cleared his throat as his eyes scanned the paper, 

“My little flower

Blooms under the starry sky

Calling me, her love.”

[st1ckart1zt]

The Lost Princess and The Thief Chapter 1

This is the story of a girl named Charlotte, and it starts with the sun. Once upon a time, a single drop of sunlight fell to the ground. A magic, golden flower grew from this drop of light. This flower had a magical power; the power to heal the sick and injured.

Centuries passed, and a kingdom was made nearby. A kingdom that was ruled by a beloved king and queen. Queen Mercedes (my oc) was about to have a baby, but she wound up getting deathly ill. King Hubert knew that the only way to save his wife would be with the magic golden flower, so he and his men set out to find it.

However, they didn’t know about TerrenceSuave. He had been hoarding the sun’s gift for years, in order to keep himself young and beautiful. All he had to do was sing a song to it. Unfortunately for him, the king's guards found the flower. It was quickly uprooted, made into a brew, and given to Mercedes.

Thanks to the magic of the flower, not only was Mercedes healed, her new baby girl had beautiful, brown hair. And this baby was of course, Princess Charlotte. To celebrate her birth, Hubert and Mercedes launched a flying lantern into the sky. For that one moment, everything was perfect. And then that moment ended.

That night, Terrence snuck into the castle and walked over to the sleeping baby.

“Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine…” he sang.

Charlotte ’s hair began glowing, and Helsa took out a pair of scissors.

“Make the clock rever-,”he continued, as he snipped a lock of Charl’s hair. To Terrence ’s shock, the hair he had cut stopped glowing. As he started turning old again, he realized there was only one thing he could do. Hubert and Mercedes woke up to their daughter crying, and before they could stop him, Terrence disappeared with Charlotte.

The entire kingdom searched for the princess, but no one was able to find her. Terrence had brought Charlotte to a tower deep in the woods, where no one would be able to find her. He also nicknamed her Charlie.

Six years later, Charlie’s hair continued to grow longer, since Terrence wouldn’t dare cut it again. He brushed the little girl’s hair as she sang.

“Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine. What once was mine,” Charlie sang.

Terrence had found his new magic flower, and this time, he’d be sure to keep it hidden.

“Why can’t I go outside?” Charlie asked.

“Because it’s dangerous out there. It’s filled with disgusting, selfish people. That’s why you have to stay here. Where it’s nice and safe and nothing ever happens. Got it?” Terrence asked.

“Yes, Daddy ” Charlie nodded.

However, the walls of that tower couldn’t hide everything. Each year, on her birthday, the king and queen released thousands of lanterns into the sky. In hopes that one day, their lost princess would return.

Charlie didn’t know what they were, or why they only appeared on her birthday, but she always stayed up to watch them. And she always hoped that maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to see them in person one

By the time she was seventeen, Charlie’s hair had grown to be thirty feet long. The day before her eighteenth birthday, Charlie was playing hide and seek with her chameleon Ellie. She hid on the window ledge and blended in with the flower pots, hoping Charlie wouldn’t see her.

“Hmm…..well, I guess Ellie isn't ’t hiding out here,” Charlie said.

The lizard sighed with relief. Just then, Charlie used her hair to grab her by her tail.

“Gotcha!” she exclaimed. She smiled before lowering her back onto the ledge.

“That’s twenty two for me….why not twenty three out of forty five?”

Ellie gave her a bored expression.

“Okay then, what do you want to do?” Charlie asked.

Ellie used her tail to point outside.

“Sorry, Ellie. You know we can’t. Besides, I really like it in here! Don’t you like it too?” Charlie asked.

Ellie shrugged.

“Aw, come on, Ellie! It isn’t that bad in there,” said Charlie.

She picked up her chameleon and headed back inside to get started on her morning routine.

“Seven a.m., the usual morning lineup

Start on the chores and sweep 'till the floor's all clean

Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up

Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15,” Charlie sang, as she finished up with her chores.

“And so I'll read a book

Or maybe two or three

I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery

I'll play guitar and knit

And cook and basically

Just wonder when will my life begin?” she continued. Charlie did everything she mentioned in her song, then she realized a part of the wall she hadn’t painted yet. She smiled and decided to put a painting of the floating lights there.

“Then after lunch it's puzzles and darts and baking

Paper mache, a bit of ballet and chess

Pottery and ventriloquy, candle making

Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb

Sew a dress!” sang Charlie. Once again, she did everything she listened, ending it by sewing matching dresses for Ellie.

“And I'll reread the books

If I have time to spare

I'll paint the walls some more

I'm sure there's room somewhere

And then I'll brush and brush

And brush and brush my hair

Stuck in the same place I've always been,” she added.

“And I'll keep wonderin' and wonderin'

And wonderin' and wonderin'

When will my life begin?” Charlie sang.

She walked over to the window and gazed outside.

“And tomorrow night

The lights will appear

Just like they do on my birthday each year

What is it like

Out there where they glow?

Now that I'm older

Father might just

Let me go,” she continued.

Charlie looked at her painting she had made of the lights in the sky. She added a figure of herself, watching them from the ground below. She just had to go see the lights. She could only hope that her father would approve.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | August 2019

Oh, look, it's the 28th again! Celebrating the launch of Gucci's new fragrance and the fantastic new pics I had to reread Landslide. Other than that there are 21 fics in this list - and like always: so many thanks go out to all the amazing authors in this fandom who share their stories with us! ♥

Landslide | aimmyarrowshigh , spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) | historical - 1970s - cults - undercover - psychological drama - racism - period typical attitudes - internalized homophobia - PTSD - and more...please read all the tags carefully - 143k The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement. That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire. With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him. In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

I Drove All Night (To Get To You) | lovelarry10 | famous/not famous - strangers to lovers - pining - fluff - 23k Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour. One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson. He can be cool and professional, right?

Live Like You Were Dying | YesIsAWorld | car accidents - love confessions - self discovery - 2k I’m in love with you. The phone fell from his hand, and the world went black.

Calling Clifford | noellehenry | fluff - humor - 10k The summer AU where Clifford has his own peculiar ways of matchmaking.

Home Remedies | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | friends to lovers - smut - 4k Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.

Traffic Light | dinosaursmate | Traffic Light Party - smut - friends with benefits - 7k Harry, a university student fresh out of a relationship, attends a Traffic Light Party. He knew all about the red, yellow and green cups, but the blue one confuses him. What does DTF mean, anyway?

Down On the Farm | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | bonfires - farm/ranch - smut - 5k Every Friday night there's a steady cloud of dust That leads back to a field filled with pickup trucks Got old Hank crankin', way up loud Got coolers in the back, tailgates down There's a big fire burnin' but don't be alarmed It's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm — “Down On the Farm” by Tim McGraw

Driving On The Wrong Side, Thinking Of You | dinosaursmate | Marcel AU - implied/ referenced homophobia - High School AU - friends to lovers - promiscuity - 25k Louis is the most popular guy in sixth form. Don't get the wrong idea, he's a good guy, and he absolutely won't stand for his friends teasing his neighbour, Marcel.

Restless Lane | jaerie | a/b/o - secret identity - childhood friends - secrets - friends to lovers - angst - 14k Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Waiting for the tides to meet | nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) | soulmates - pining - miscommunication - angst - fluff - friends to lovers - slow burn - 60k Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart. Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

If I Stay | Rearviewdreamer | Walk In The Clouds AU - fake/pretend relationship - mpreg - slow burn - 37k Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

Mirror Touch | pinky_heaven19 | Synesthesia - hurt/comfort - fluff - pining - strangers to lovers - 58k The one where Harry owns a second-hand clothing store, and Louis is a radio host. Louis has mirror-touch synesthesia, which makes him experience what people around him feel. He feels a lot around Harry.

In Your Black Heart (Is Where You'll Find Me) | graceling_in_a_suit | a/b/o - omega/omega - pirates - historical - 36k Louis Tomlinson has been lying for five years. His crew sees him as a pirate, a Captain, and an alpha; only two of those are the truth. He was content to let the illusion go on forever, but an omega named Harry Styles just had to join his crew and get his warm-vanilla stink all over Louis' best laid plans. Or: the story of The Captain and The Carpenter.

Supposed to Be | kikikryslee | High School - stereotypes - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - hate to love - 26k The Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

Meet me where the tulips grow | tempolarriefics | study abroad - fluff - 19k The one where Harry studies abroad and falls in love with both the city of Amsterdam and the boy he explores it with.

When i'm set alight | mixedfandomfics | teacher AU - hate to love - misunderstandings - 14k Louis and Harry hate each other. Always have, always will. No one is quite sure how they will handle it when their favorite students ask them to lead a new LGBT club at their school.

Breathe In, Breathe Out | dinosaursmate | friends to lovers - pining - 12k Louis Tomlinson begins visiting a new pub on his lunch break, mostly because he really fancies Harry, the cute, curly-haired barman. As Louis gears up to ask him out, he doesn't realise that there is a huge stumbling block in his way: Harry is taken, and by someone rather familiar.

I am mad all about you | godslut | med students - coffe shop - 5k Harry is a pre-med student trying to quit coffee. louis pretends to be spider-man to make kids laugh.

Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - friends to lovers - fake/pretend relationship - mutual pining - 32k The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

A Life That's Good (series) | lovelarry10 | fluff - kid fic - adoption - light angst - 66k Harry and Louis were married young, but always knew that they wanted a family together. Soon, through adoption, Hope came into their lives, and was later joined by her younger brother Oscar. Join the Tomlinsons on their journey in family life. ①  You're My Only Hope Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality? ②  Tiny Dancer It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time. ③  Who You Are Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family. ④  We Got Love Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong. ⑤  Follow Your Arrow Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful. ⑥  Summer Love The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Night Changes | colourexplosion | soulmates - supernatural elements - werewolves - light angst - 40k Louis and Harry are soulmates. (With a twist.)

From The Heart | jacaranda_bloom | coffee shop AU - 25k Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat. As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind? ①  Henry and Lewis Louis hangs out in his local coffee shop to work on his weekly WordPlay Prompt, speaks to his beloved muse aka Harry the gorgeous barista, embarrasses himself in front of said muse, and receives a comment on AO3 from his favourite reader. ②  Smuturday Louis struggles with this week's WordPlay prompt before finding inspiration, and a date, in an unexpected place, and could there be more going on with his favourite reader than he originally thought. ③  Tea For Two Louis grapples with what to do about his new found suspicions over his favourite readers real-life identity. ④  Life Imitating Art Louis is taken on a very real journey through his fic back catalogue - life has never imitated art so salaciously. ⑤  Entertain Me All good things must come to an end, including the WordPlay challenge. But while Louis has mixed emotions about its end, and struggling to make sense of the final prompt, he is relishing every aspect of his newly revitalised personal life.

[eyesontheskyline]

(about the whole fic writer asks, except those answered now) the story specific ones have to be about 'but if you really hold me tight' - I love all your cxg fics and it's the longest one :D) it's just I'm thinking of getting back to writing and since you're of my favorites authors out there now i'd love to get some insight. kudos for being cool about it!

Hello!  Okay first of all thank you so much, that is a ridiculously big compliment and my face hurts.  And yes yes yes you should definitely write if you feel like writing - just go for it!  If you have any specific questions or you want a pep talk or whatever, message any time :) 

Okay I’m gonna put these under a Read More because wall of text.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Right now only Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  I wrote for Criminal Minds under a different name then had a gap of several years.  I’m pretty far removed from CM now but I can safely say writing for CXG has been a nicer experience community wise (partly a smaller fandom thing and I suspect partly a demographic thing), and there’s more established character stuff to work with because all the character development isn’t like…  Crammed in the five minutes they have to work with either side of the crime solving.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.I don’t really do either, but reader inserts are kind of a squick of mine honestly, so I’m gonna say OCs.  I’ve only written OC kids though.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?I am not entirely sure what this means…  Fic genre?  Original media genre?  I have only ever written romance or friendship stuff for TV shows, an odd balance of fluff and angst?

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?Mmm let the sun inside has a special place in my heart because it was the thing that got me back into writing after a really long gap and turned out pretty much how I wanted it to.  Writing it was just a very intense ‘I am writing again and my brain is on fire’ experience for me.

7) When is your preferred time to write?I would love to have a less dysfunctional answer to this, but probably between 1 and 4am unfortunately?  That can’t be a thing on work nights because I get up at 6.30.  If I can get myself on a roll early afternoon in a coffee shop though, that’s a better feeling.  Just… Less common than ‘the rest of the world around me is asleep and my brain just woke up’.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Oh everywhere.  The media I write fic about.  The stories I read.  My life, my friends.  The world.

9) In but if you really hold me tight, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?Oh god I really don’t know.  This story is really hard for me to have perspective on because of the ridiculously time pressured way I wrote and published it.  I’m probably proudest of chapter 12, where they discuss the ‘do we want a baby’ question properly, because that just…  Is an important conversation that you don’t really see in media?  I’m not sure it’s the best writing in the story, but I’m glad I didn’t chicken out of it.  I also enjoyed writing Rebecca meeting Plimpton Senior in chapter 19, because that feels like an opportunity the show missed and I will never see enough versions of it in fic honestly.  (Do you have a favourite?)

10) In but if you really hold me tight, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?That one was pretty much always going to end where it did – just because of the format, it was always going to end in a fluffy happy place around midnight on the 1st of January 2021. The last chapter was going to be longer originally, with more characters getting a moment, but it was just getting kind of unfocused – Rebecca POV can handle tone shifts pretty well I think because of the way her brain is wired, but at some point it all just got a bit messy so I pared it back.  I think I’m pleased with how it turned out, but the chaos of writing it is still fresh enough that it’s hard to tell!

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Nah, but I’ve fixed typos (thank you @what-the-elle-n!)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I find Valencia and Paula pretty difficult.  I love them, but I struggle.

14) How did you come up with the title - You can ask about multiple stories.(Since it says multiple and since I only have 3 currently…)  Everything I’ve published for CXG so far has had song lyric titles – mostly because I am not good at poetic turns of phrase, and I like lyricists who are.  (I’m also not a particularly romantic person, and I like lyricists who are!)

let the sun inside is from Ribcage by elbow.  The full line is ‘I wanted to explode – to pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside’, which feels to me like that feeling of having bottled everything up for so long that you just can’t feel anything anymore until you kind of break down and come out the other side?  And Rebecca = sunshine, so.  That is basically the premise of the story, so that was a stroke of luck.

the landing light is from K2 by elbow (I swear I listen to other music, they just have words that really lend themselves to fanfic titles lol).  I have a whole meta thing written to publish alongside the last chapter about why this song for this story, but basically the line is ‘Dickhead’s done a runner and he’s wondering if anyone cares – is the landing light on?’ which is just someone far from home feeling a bit stupid and homesick and wondering if there’s anybody waiting at home for him.  And of course Nathaniel comes home to a totally miserable situation and there Rebecca is.

but if you really hold me tight…  It had to be a lyric from a Christmas song, preferably one Frank Sinatra sang at some point, because that was the playlist I started listening to in mid-October while outlining this madness.  So it’s from Let It Snow, obviously, although that exact line is not in that version, ssshhhhhh (he sings ‘but if you’ll only hold me tight’).  I chose it because R&N being a team and getting through stuff together in a mostly-fluff-but-not-entirely way was kind of what I was aiming for, and it just felt like it fit.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I kind of have an OC coming up in a story I’m writing now, and I just… Knew who named them, and tried to choose a name those people would choose.  I don’t really do OCs much in fic, but in not-fic (it’s been a while!) I try to go for a name that (1) means something, and importantly (2) I can imagine their parents having named them.

16) How did you come up with the idea for but if you really hold me tight?So a writer I used to read a lot from the Criminal Minds fandom did a Christmas fic a couple of years in a row – one short, mostly fluffy chapter for each day from the 1st-25th of December.  So that was the plan.  Except as soon as I started outlining it, I knew I couldn’t write an entire month fluffy and problem-free for these two (for anyone, but especially these two), so short and fluffy didn’t stick!

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.“I’ve gotten better at a lot of things since you’ve been away, but my self-deception skills have taken a real hit.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yeah, I abandoned a few Criminal Minds fics.  I still feel bad about them actually – I get comments on them occasionally. (On the offchance anyone reading this is someone who feels nervous about commenting on old stories – these delight me in ways you cannot imagine.)  I ran out of steam in a lot of ways – I started them without any real idea where I was going and wrote myself into a corner, mostly, but also I was starting to really struggle to write unprompted.  I am not the most mentally well person, and I just got my brain into this spirally tangle where I thought nobody wanted to read anything they hadn’t asked for, so I filled a lot of prompts but couldn’t convince myself to write anything else.  It feels really weird to think about that now, which I guess is a good sign…

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?I toy with following the emotional arc of S4 but following let the sun inside sometimes – that was the plan, when I originally finished it and was panicking that I would never get another idea.  Also, but if you really hold me tight created a world of warm domesticity for R&N that I felt really sad leaving behind, so I would probably like to write in the timeline again.  And the landing light might get a oneshot sequel, depending on whether I end it the way I think I’m going to or the way I was originally planning to…

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?No, not in this fandom.  I’ve only written two endings though!  I’ve ended on some real cheeseball final lines in the past though.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@heartbash, who can do plot and slow-burn in a way my impatient ass will never be capable of.  @justwanted2dance who deserves a million flame emojis and writes BDSM stuff in a way that makes my anxious brain comfy enough to enjoy it (literally nobody else has achieved this).  @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace who writes the loveliest fluff and is a badass individual.  @notbang and @anthropologicalhands and @catty-words and @akisazame and @romansuzume who write beautifully and can do those poetic turns of phrase I am not good at.  I’ve got to be forgetting someone but wowww there is so much talent and creativity in this lil room.  So many people to be inspired by.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?God yes, but not in this fandom.  It’s fine, 19 or 20 year old me, you were learning.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Silence.  Or like white noise or the Hufflepuff Common Room 10 hour ASMR video on youtube or something lol.  Anything with words just ruins me – my attention span is laughable.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Ha yes actually, but I’m really not entirely sure why.  Sometimes my brain is just a really weird place to be.

26) Which part of but if you really hold me tight was the hardest to write?It depends how you measure hardest, I guess.  Several of the smut scenes just said ‘[insert sex]’ for the longest time, sometimes with descriptions?  So like ‘[insert feelingsy sex]’ or whatever lol.  In terms of getting voices right (like to the point of still being unsure whether it’s any good), this gurl group chapter.  

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?It really depends.  Usually I know roughly where I’m going and how I’m getting there and that’s good enough for me, but my NaNo fic got an outline because of the format and timescale. And I’m planning a thing with an actual plot arc (gasp!) so that’s getting an outline, in the hope of making it look vaguely romance novel shaped.  Basically it depends on the length of the thing for me, and how plotty it is.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?Writing advice: if you’re struggling to move past a particular point, the thing you need to change is probably a few lines back.  It’s rarely the last line that painted you into the corner. If you think something needs to come out, paste it into an outtakes document – you might want to put it somewhere else later, or salvage lines from it or whatever, and it’s just easier to let go if you’re not actually hitting delete.

Posting advice: remember fandom is community – everyone is here because they love the thing you love.  They’re gonna be excited there’s a new story to read, and they’re rooting for you!  (Write the thing!)

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Nahh I mean, it’s a smaallll fandom.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?Again, smaaalll.  (Also I try not to publicly eye roll at things other people love even if they are my things – there’s nothing quite like loving a song just for the band to be like ‘ugh I fucking hate that song’, so I always try to keep that in mind.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)You did not send me a rec!  Feel free to send me one now!  In fact, open call, everyone send me fic recs, even if I’ve definitely read them.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?Mm no I don’t do OCs.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I mean, I enjoyed hearing that someone read my story in the corner at a party lol, especially because it was a chapter I was pretty pleased with and nervous about.  Also any time anybody says something I wrote is a headcanon or ‘this should have happened in the show’ is a glittery feeling. When somebody notices a little clue or detail that isn’t obvious, it makes me ridiculously happy.  Humans reading my thing then saying something about it is still crazy, so, yeah.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Story time: my old fandom has this one character who has a lot of pretty hardcore stans.  I mostly dislike the word stan but like…  Yeah.  So anyway, I got an email saying I had a new comment on my ficlet collection (keeping in mind I was in my ‘very unhealthy relationship with feedback’ stage at this point), and clicked on it all happy, and all it said was ‘I didn’t read this because another comment said it doesn’t contain enough *stanned character* and you really should warn people upfront that he isn’t gonna be in it, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time on it’.  Which was just…  A bizarre comment.  Like, commenting to say you didn’t read the thing is weird in itself, but also you list the characters who are in the thing, not all the ones who aren’t?? Anyway, I then went on my tumblr and I had several anon messages that were just straight up hate along the same lines and…  Yeah.  The Criminal Minds fandom was a strange place. On a related note, have I told you today that I love you, CXG people?  I love you.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I am basically always up with talking stuff through with people.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?This is actually difficult to do right now.  There’s a baby?

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I mean, I made myself laugh a couple of times in my festive fic, but I’m more of a ‘this one line is funny’ writer than a ‘this story is funny’ writer.  I’m too angsty!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.This question is faaar too terrifying.  I’ve actually never collabed with anyone, I’d love to though.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third.  I think because I’ve only written for TV shows, no matter how closely you’re following one character, if you’re seeing them on a screen, you’re in third person.  So it’s just an extra struggle to make that jump to another POV for me.  I have written my not-fanfic mostly in first though, and I’ve read some lovely fic in first and second.  I’m just not good at it.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?One person.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?Hmmmm who is minor, really?  I find AJ difficult but fun.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?I don’t write anything plotty enough for this to be a thing!

44) What is the last line you wrote?“Mm, because you know how irresistible your weird old timey voices are.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?I want people to read the thing, honestly.  It’s a ‘reach out my lonely haaand’ moment with a little less melodrama.  I want it to be out in the world doing what it’s meant to do.  I also want it to be finished so I can read it – I get a very particular kind of happy feeling from reading a good sentence I wrote.

46) I really loved but if you really hold me tight. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Lol it felt really weird to type that in there when you didn’t actually say it directly, but you said all so here we are!  I’m just gonna take that compliment even though I wrote it…  When I started coming to the end of writing that story, I started to feel really sad about leaving behind the warm domestic feel of it, so if I ever feel more domestic fluff coming on, probably it’ll be set after that.  

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?You did not insert a made up title!  Although insert a made up title has potential for Rebecca hounding everyone she knows to help her title a song she wrote.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Is ‘let’s have an actual conversation about this’ a trope because that’s my brand so far!  I haven’t written anything particularly tropey, I don’t think, although the pull of ‘omg there was only one bed’ is strong right now!

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?Yes!  It was a Criminal Minds fic, Hotch/Prentiss, canon compliant (ish) missing scenes kind of deal.  I can’t remember the first CXG fic I read, which is ridiculous because it was a lot more recent.  I started writing CXG fic before I started looking for it, because I hadn’t been inspired to write in so long that I didn’t want to scare myself away.  I read some before publishing, but I can’t remember where I started.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?I can only dream of being mentally stable enough to have a consistent answer to this lol.  Angst comes more naturally to me, but writing angsty characters into happy situations is one of the ways I make sense of the world, so…  Fluff, maybe, as long as I can keep the characters screwed up, because they just…  Are.  And like, same.

[mittensmorgul]

I'm so sorry if this sounds ignorant, and I'm sure you're tired of explaining it, but do views or "hits" on Ao3 mean anything? Because i'll see the posts about authors needing kudos and comments (which i understand completely) but i'll also see the view count and i'm like "but it's got so many hits, just go by that too!" So what goes into an author truly knowing how well they're doing?

Hi there! And yeah, I’ve explained how this works before, but I’m always happy to explain it again. Because it bears repeating. :)

Hits on AO3 mean very little. Someone clicks through to the fic, reads the tags and summary, maybe the first few paragraphs of a novel-length fic, and then nopes out without finishing. It still registers a hit.

Writing a multi-chapter fic posted in weekly installments that has a significant following? Yeah, hits are also meaningless here, because every time you post a new installment and all your dedicated readers click through to read the next chapter? They each register new hits. They’re not UNIQUE viewers to the entire fic, yet it can still look that way in the hit counter. And if it’s a 50 chapter fic that posts over the course of a whole year? The “compound” hits really start to add up, despite each of those unique readers only being able to leave 1 kudos (albeit multiple comments, if they so desire).

If something we post generates a thousand hits but only 100 kudos, it can start to feel like a lot of readers may not have bothered to read to the end, you know? If I make it to the end of a fic, I hit the kudos button. It takes literally one second, and in my mind it’s the equivalent of saying, “Thank you for writing this and posting it for free for my enjoyment.”

I personally don’t have the “false hits equivalency” problem that writers who post WIP’s do, because I always post complete works. Even when I’ve tried to post serially, I end up giving up after a few days and just going ahead and posting the entire thing. I tried to do that with Ultraviolet, posting a chapter a day, and lasted five whole days before just posting the rest all at once. I have no patience for drawing things out unnecessarily. :P

As a result, the hits count on it are artificially inflated:

2269 hits as of today, when I posted it back at the end of June. But heck, there’s more than 10% kudos-to-hits ratio, so even considering that I know a number of people had been reading along as I posted the first five chapters, that’s still a pretty decent average. Believe it or not, that’s considered to be fairly excellent as a hits-to-kudos ratio.

Now on to the thing I just posted a few days ago, Dean’s Days Off. I posted it all at once (note the posting date):

That’s a lot of hits, considering I can assume that most of them are not redundant, with the same readers clicking back through to read a new chapter. Still, even working under the assumption that A LOT of those are unique hits from different people, I’m left with the assumption that less than 20% of them actually read all the way to the end, because of the kudos.

This theory works FOR NOW, because this is a new story. I doubt many people have had a chance (even if they loved it and intend to read it again someday-- which is just wishful thinking on my part, but whatever) have had a chance to go back and read it again already, you know? So these are largely most probably original hits. But over time, there may be a fair few people who return to read it again and CAN’T leave kudos again. The hits-to-kudos ratio will inevitably drop over time.

Plus there’s also the factor in the other direction-- readers who click through and then download the story (I always do this with fic I love, partly because it’s easier to read on my kindle, but also because I’ve see too much fic I love get taken down by the authors, and I like to make sure I have a copy in case that ever happens). I have fic I’ve reread NUMEROUS times, but the author has no way of knowing how much I adore their writing in that case UNLESS I EXPLICITLY TELL THEM.

AO3 doesn’t keep statistics for downloads. Unless a reader tells me, I have no idea that they may have downloaded my story to read again. It doesn’t even generate another hit in that case, you know?

In any case, kudos, comments, OR hits-- none of them is a perfect gauge for readership. Hits may be meaningless. I think 3 of the hits for T&S were generated by me-- one of which was me noping out within a page or two of starting because there was no way in hell I was gonna keep reading, and two of which were unlabeled links to the effect of, “OMG I JUST READ THIS THING AND I NEED A MOMENT TO RECOVER,” which is an intriguing sort of post where the words “THIS THING” were a link to it... I had no idea, but lo and behold, I generated a “hit” to it. >.>

I’ve clicked on fic recs that from the description in the post sounded right up my alley, only to see something in the tags on AO3 that made me nope out of reading, or got a short way in to the story before realizing it just wasn’t my thing and closing out. All of that generates hits. Meaningless, meaningless hits.

I have opened fic, decided to “Mark For Later” so I can open it again and read it when I’m in the right mood, or when I have time to devote to it, or whatever. I have A LOT of fic Marked For Later. Still, opening it to mark it and add it to my list generates a hit. It’ll generate another hit when I do eventually go back and read it. Possibly generating another hit when I open it yet again trying to remember if I’ve read it... 

Or the worst-- I’ve had the thing open in a tab for two weeks hoping to find the time to read it, and every time Chrome refreshes the page (because Chrome does that) it generates a new hit... I kinda feel guilty about that...

Hits are ultimately meaningless.

Kudos at least have SOME meaning. A unique reader read the entire thing, got all the way to the end, and felt good enough about reading it to hit what essentially amounts to the THANK YOU NICE WRITER PERSON button.

Some people are willing to spend a little more time writing a comment. Anything from a “Thank you for writing this” to “Oh gosh I love this story, and xyz was my favorite!” all the way to leaving a running commentary on every chapter or a five paragraph book review at the end. Or heck, just an incoherent keysmash with a bunch of exclamation points.

Or one of my personal favorites, “I just read this again and can’t leave more kudos, so have this

I don’t understand the resistance to clicking the kudos button if you read the entire story and derived any enjoyment from it whatsoever. If you’re embarrassed about it, you can always log out of AO3 and leave kudos anonymously. No one will ever know it was you. :P

But I’ve had people ask me this before, wondering why they should even BOTHER hitting Kudos, and it’s like... you read this entire story, for the low low cost of zero dollars, and can’t be fussed to even click the Instant Thank You Button? That’s... shocking and frustrating as a writer. Some of my longer fic may have taken me HUNDREDS of hours to write, edit, etc. And it doesn’t merit half a second of time to click a button. I mean, sure, Dean’s Days Off is kinda short compared to some of my other work, but it still represents about 80 hours of my life. I spent about 80 hours working on that story. I spent several hundred hours working on Revenge of the Subtext. And even more than that working on Around the World in 24 Days. That’s a lot of hours. Can I get half a second of your time as an acknowledgement that it was worth it?

If I make it to the end of a story of any length, that’s automatically kudos. Job well done, Writer Person. You have suitably entertained me.

I admit that I am still personally weirded out by leaving comments, but I do try and force myself to, especially if it’s a longer work. I get this OH GOSH PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME BUT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FEEEEELINGS mentality about leaving comments. I turn into Dean Winchester and clam up. I TOTALLY GET THAT REACTION to leaving comments. That’s why the kudos button exists in the first place. No embarrassment required. Just a Thank You that writers can acknowledge in a measurable way. Unlike hits, which honestly we have no idea how many of them even read past the introduction let alone the entire story.

I wish there were some more accurate metric for calculating just how well received our works are, but really this is all we have. We don’t have bestseller lists. Our readers don’t have to pay for our work. Leaving kudos or liking our tumblr posts is great, and lets us know at least our followers appreciate what we’ve written. Leaving comments is fantastic because we can share the joy, answer questions, reply to theories y’all have about our stories (heck nothing is better to me than having someone meta-analyze my writing! I LOVE THAT AND WOULD LOVE TO SQUEE WITH JOY AT YOU!). Reblogging our tumblr posts is like the ultimate recommendation. It says not only someone read and enjoyed what we wrote, but wants other people to find the thing too.That’s how we find new readers, especially if the post ends up tagged with stuff like, “OMG THIS WAS SO EXCELLENT!” or whatever. Damn near makes my week. :P

But if we post something, even if it gets tons of hits, if no one bothers to hit the kudos button at the end, it can very quickly start to feel like maybe nobody ever read all the way to the end, so why even bother...

I probably shouldn’t have turned this into an essay, but since that seems to be my trademark, I guess I’ll just go ahead and post it...

[asl-scarlet-sorceress]

For the percy jackson qs All of them bc I'm a slut for u answering questions about the shit u love :3c

Aaaaaah thank you bae!!! This is super long tho because, you know me, I can talk A LOT about this universe. And also, if you have more questions, please ask me so that I can continue to gush about my favourite series in the entire world OTL 

1.How old were you when you read the Percy Jackson books?

I was 11 when I first started reading them 😂 I was a tiny bby

2.What year did you read them in?

Does this mean academic year or actual year? Because I read them in year 7 (6th Grade) so that would have been in somewhere around 2010 I think???

3. What caused you to read them?

My older brother had read them and recommended The Lightning Thief to me and a selection of books were being given out at my school for free to encourage kids to read and The Lightning Thief happened to be one of them. And the rest is history 😂

4.Which of the series have you read in the PJO universe?

All of them~ I have read every book in the PJO, HoO, KC, and MCGA series and I’ve just preordered The Dark Prophecy at my local book store so I can keep up to date with ToA. I’ve also read all the side books like Demigod Diaries and Demigods and Magicians, and the two books of Professor Percy and they’re all aligned in chronological order on my book shelve because I’m a fucking nerd OTL

5. What is your favorite series in the PJO universe?

Oh god help me. I don’t know??? I love them all for different reasons??? I find myself ranting most to other people about HoO but the Magnus Chase series is probably my favourite because not only is it a wonderful story but The Hammer of Thor was the first time I had ever read about a genderfluid character and the way Alex was portrayed was just so wonderful to me that I will reread that book over and over again, specifically on his pages because it’s kinda like seeing a little bit of myself in my favourite world. It heightens my sense of escapism and belonging there that’s for sure XD

6.Who is your favorite character?

From the PJO series- Thalia GraceFrom the HoO series- Nico Di Angelo/ Leo Valdez/ Reyna (DO NOT MAKE ME PICK!)From the ToA series- Will SolaceFrom the KC- either Sadie Kane (because I’m always here for another Ribena enthusiast) or AnubisFrom the MCGA series- ALEX FIERRO RULER OF MY LIFE!!!

7.Who is your least favorite character?

Overall?? Either Zeus (because he was the world’s first fuckboi) or Bianca Di Angelo. As an older sibling, I could never imagine leaving my younger sibling all alone just because I wanted a bit more freedom in my life. It’s incredibly selfish and I just can’t ever forgive her for it. She may have been a hero and an interesting character and I was really torn up when she died but I will never forgive her for the way she treated her younger brother.

8.What are your headcanons?

THERE ARE TOO MANY TO LIST!!! But one of my main headcanons that I will list here (I’ll message you others if you ever read the whole universe) is that Nico and Anubis know each other and get along. Now this started because they’re described as looking very similar to each other (black, shaggy hair, dark brown eyes, pale af with a similar fashion sense of just black on black) and it kind of snowballed once I read Son Of Neptune. Because to me, it would make so much sense for Nico to know about other pantheons long before the other demigods. Why? Because Death is universal across mythology. And Nico, as the son of Hades, needs to know about his death rituals which- I think- would lead him to researching the other pantheons and learning that immortality really is forever. But yeah, i just love the idea of Nico and Anubis being friends and looking out for one another because they both understand the stigma around death but they’re both actually kind of dorky the minute they stop being angry??? But yeah, there’s just one of my headcanons and look how long that took to summarise OtL

9.Do you read fanfic for these books?

Yesssssssss all day every day!!

10.Do you write it?

I try to OTL it’s just, with characters i love and adore so much I’m so scared of doing them a disservice??? If that makes sense? I’ve got a thousand scenarios in my head but when I try to write I end up starting at a blank screen for 30 minutes before going back and rereading the books again XD

11.What’s your favorite scene?

From PJO- When Percy offers Pandora’s Pithos to Hestia as an offering. It’s just such an important act at the time and I just love it so much!!!!From HoO- uuuurgh it’s a tie up between Jason comforting Nico after Croatia and then the ending with the two camps and Reyna being a badass. From ToA- I know this isn’t really a scene but when Apollo makes the remarked about Achilles, Briseis and Patroclus because Iliad jokes~~ 😂 but other than that, probably when Apollo starts to realise how shit a parent he actually is and feeling kinda guilty about it. I just love seeing him evolve as a person rather than stay the same immortal fuckboi forever. From KC- THE FUCKING CAN OPENER!!! I laughed for about an hour when I first read the bit when Carter finds out about Horus possessing him. I actually couldn’t read past that bit without laughing over and over again 😂 From MCGA- When Alex was lying down on the Bifrost. I always imagine it as a very beautiful scene because he’s got this rainbow light all around him but it also makes me feel sad for some reason I’ve yet to pin down. But yeah, Alex being pretty and melancholy surrounded by rainbow light~ From Demigods and Magicians- probably when Setne gets sucked into the snow globe. That was a good day reading that.

12.Most memorable quote?

‘With great power comes great need to take a nap’

13.Favourite romantic relationship?

I have a few! Solangelo is my favourite altogether tho because I love the contrast between the two (I’m a sucker for the night/day/death/life symbolism in a relationship) but I also love Percabeth, Jiper, Sam/Amir, Fierrochase, Sadie/Anubis/Walt (what is that relationship called??? I can’t remember OtL)

14.Favourite platonic relationship ?

Annabeth and Piper, Percy and Jason, Annabeth and Sadie, Piper and Hazel, Grover and Percy

15.Favourite familial relationship?

NICO AND HAZEL, NICO AND REYNA, NICO AND HADES, NICO AND JASON, (basically anyone who treats Nico like family and cares about him tbh) Percy and Sally, Thalia and Jason, Piper and Leo, Sadie and Carter, Sam and Magnus, Magnus and Annabeth (the little we’ve been given anyway), Sam and Alex, Apollo and his kids??? Like the way he’s actually starting to genuinely care and he feels mildly guilty at how much they’re supporting and caring about him when he’s done none of that for them???

16.What are your notps?

Reyna and Nico. Can’t stand that ship. Also Octavian and Rachel. Or anyone with Rachel really. Same with Percy and Artemis??? Like, no???? Artemis is a maiden for eternity, she has no interest in men whatsoever??? And Rachel is the oracle of Delphi so she’s sworn to not be with people for as long as she is the oracle??? I just don’t get it.

16.What house do you think Percy is in?

See this is really hard! Percy is certainly brace and noble enough to be in Gryffindor but he is fatally loyal to the people he loves and he works incredibly hard which are more Hufflepuff traits! But at the same time he can be cunning and tricky when he’s in a fight. But he’s not really ambitious enough to be a Slytherin and, while intelligent, he won’t follow up on an idea just because of the allure of knowledge so he’s not really a Ravenclaw…urgh I want to put him in Hufflepuff but idk. Either Hufflepuff or Gryffindor.

17.What house do you think Annabeth is in?

Either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Like she will battle past her ADHD and dyslexia for the pursuit of knowledge and to better specialise herself in the areas she wants to but at the same time she walked into her worst nightmares, then fell into Tartarus, got out of Tartarus, then went to war all within the span of a month and a half. That takes Gryffindor courage right there. So yeah, either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.

18.Thoughts on Luke?

I always feel really bad for Luke. Because he’s so relatable. It’s easy to see how he made the choices he did because he honestly thought that the Titans could be better because the gods mistreatment was all he had ever known. And it hurts what happened to him because he is the classic tragic hero; he made the wrong choices and the minute he realises what a mess he’s made of things, it’s already too late to stop anything. But he was able to do the right thing in the end and I just get really emotional whenever I think of that scene. It hurts too much 😭

19.What race do you think Percy is?

I don’t really know. I mean, we know he’s got a lot of his appearance from Poseidon so that means he should look very Grecian/Mediterranean, maybe he even has a sort of olive skin tone??? Idk. I guess whenever I think of Percy I just think of the kids I used to see on skateboards down at the local park. But yeah, probably Grecian if I had to pick.

20.What do you think of Frank and Hazel’s relationship?

I think it’s really cute. I like how it’s so fresh??? Because with Percabeth that relationship grew out of friendship over five books and Jiper has a natural flow to it with all the fragility and insecurity of a new relationship so it still works. But Hazel and Frank knew each other for such a short period of time before they started crushing on each other and I think it’s sweet to see kind of the love and first sight thing but warped slightly due to the complications that come with their lives. It’s interesting to see them struggle through all the confusion of a brand new relationship but still trying to keep themselves together. It’s nice to see that kind of love rather than the comfortable love of Percabeth or the steady love of Jiper. 21.What do you think of Calypso and Leo’s relationship?

I love it!!! At first I was skeptical but their banter and denial was really funny and the way Leo was determined to make it back to her. I had always wanted someone to treat Calypso right and I’m glad that Leo has someone now who will see underneath all the humour as well as appreciating him for himself :)

22.Do you follow Rick on any social media platforms?

Yes! I follow him on Twitter and on Tumblr~

23.What did you think of the movie?

I liked the visual effects but that was about it. And even then it was like, nice snakes, now where’s the plot??? I really did not like those movies. They need to be buried with the Avatar movie that never existed in my opinion.

24. What are your thoughts on the upcoming musical?

I’m really looking forward to it! I think they cast a really good Percy and I really like what I’m hearing so far. I love musicals and I understand there’s a bigger limit on what you can do on a stage compared to a film so I’m more lenient towards differences between the stage and the book.

25.Do you own any of the books and if so, which ones?

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH…..I have doubles of all of them OTL but there’s a reason for that!! One copy for myself so that I can always read them and then I lend out the second copies to my friends who are curious about this world that I won’t ever shut up about.

26.Which character are you most like, personality wise?

Idk really. Maybe Will??? Because I’m kinda easy going and I try to help out other people but if you piss me off you will know about it??? And it always takes people by surprise if they don’t know me very well at how angry I can be??? But yeah, maybe Will.

27.Which character do you look the most like?

If any of the characters have rainbow hair, I have not been informed of this! Nah but I don’t know. Without my coloured hair I just kinda look like a ghost with brown hair and colour changing eyes OTL Maybe Sadie because I used to be blonde but I dyed my hair so many times it turned brown and she streaks her hair a lot so yeah, Sadie Kane :)

27.If you could cosplay as any character, who would it be?

Okay I have cosplayer Nico before but I’m going to be cosplaying Alex at the next con I’m going to (unfortunately without her heterochromia because I’m allergic to contact lenses OtL)

28.What’s your favorite cover from the series?

Is it bad to say Blood of Olympus because Leo’s got a chainsaw in it? XD but yeah, actually Hammer of Thor because the Wolf mask on that cover with the eerie green glow across it is really cool!!

29.What are some books you would recommend to another fan?

Assuming these are books related to the PJO universe then The Demigod and Magicians crossover collection are definitely worth the read (assuming you’ve read both HoO and KC) and the Magnus Chase series because they are definitely worth branching away from the Greek and Roman gods.

If that means other series in general then His Dark Materials for definite and probably the Iliad.

30.Do you have any merchandise related to the series?

I do! I have a tshirt with Percy’s quote about procrastination on it (deadlines don’t seem real to me until I’m staring one in the face), and I have a matching charm bracelet, hair bow, earrings and necklace set with pendants that all say Camp Half-Blood on them

31.Any fan casts?

Not really. As long as they look the age of the characters *glares at the film* and they have the majority of the same features *again glares at the films* then I don’t really mind too much.

32.What did you think of the ending of Heroes of Olympus, if you read it?

I personally loved it. I agree it did feel a tiny bit anticlimactic over in Greece what with the gods kicking butt for the first time in the entire series but what happened between the camps and Gaia’s forces there was really cool. And the reconciliation of the camps afterwards and how everyone was getting along was really nice. And of course, the fact that Calypso was finally freed was a big A+ in my book.

33.Would you want to be connected to the Greek, Egyptian, Roman, or Norse Gods?

I think, as far as connected in the PJO universe way goes, I’d want to be a Magician for the House of Life. Because at least then I get a choice in whether or not I want a god in my life. If you’re a Demigod you get no choice whatsoever. If you’re just a magician then other than fighting in the apocalypse, you have a choice on what you want to do with your life (plus magicians can use electronics without calling down monsters on their heads)

34.What character from the universe do you think you would be best friends with?

Idk. It’s a tie up between Sadie, Leo and Magnus because they all have a sarcastic wit which I find hilarious but they all have differences that make me want to befriend them. Like with Sadie I could hang out with her any time of the week, and she has a really gives-no-shit attitude that I love (because I give too many shits about things) but at the same time she really cares a lot about her family and her friends which is important to me. Leo is hilarious in general but at the same time really insecure about stuff and I love helping people out and learning from them so I’d probably latch on to Leo and not stop bothering him about machines because all of it is really interesting. And then Magnus is a sarcastic little nerd who tries to be tough but is actually a sunflower and yeah, I have a lot of friends like that 😘😘😘

35.What’s the saddest scene from all the books?

Bob asking whether Percy would say hello to the stars and sun for him. That kills me every time to even think about. Fuck, now I’m crying 😭

36.What scene makes you the happiest?

Any scene of platonic friendship and love is guaranteed to make me happy. But most of all, when Hades told Nico he wanted him to be happy. That just killed me inside because it’s such a difference from the Last Olympian and Nico deserves happiness after all the shit he’s been through.

Thanks bae~